Hi, Lucy, I came up to give you some...
What was that?
It was on the ceiling.
I'm trying to learn
to flip pancakes up in the air
like they do in restaurants.
Oh.
I came up to give you this money.
Boy, am I glad to get it off my hands.
What is all that?
What are you trying to do-- bribe me?
The club treasurer asked me
to give it to you.
Oh, for the bazaar.
Yeah. You're supposed to use it
to rent the hall and buy the refreshments
have the posters printed...
Shh!
What's the matter?
I don't want Ricky to hear.
Lucy
haven't you told him you're chairman of the bazaar?
No, and I'm not going to tell him till next Friday.
But the bazaar's next Thursday.
Exactly.
You sure live dangerously, Lucy.
Well, after what happened
at the Fourth of July carnival last year
Ricky made me promise
that I wouldn't get mixed up
in any more club affairs.
I don't blame him.
You weren't very bright
throwing all those skyrockets
and Roman candles in a fireplace.
Well, who uses a fireplace in July?
He should have looked
before he threw that match in there.
Poor Ricky.
His eyebrows didn't grow in for a month.
You remember those little baby toupees he wore over each eye?
Say, where are you hiding all the stuff
that's been donated to the bazaar auction?
I'll show you.
What a treasure trove!
Shh!
Say, when we sell that
the club will have nothing but money.
And I've got a slew of stuff to collect.
I'm going out as soon as Ricky leaves.
Lucy!
Yeah, dear?
Ready yet? Okay, yeah.
I got to run along.
So long.
Bye-bye.
Hey! Not a word to Ricky.
Don't worry.
Okay.
Good morning, honey.
Good morning, dear.
Hey!
Tortillas.
Yeah.
I made them
out of Aunt Jemima tortilla mix.
Oh, I keep forgetting here in America
you call them flapcakes.
Come again?
Hot jacks?
You were closer with tortillas.
They are hot cakes.
Oh.
Not these.
These are cold cakes.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
I'll make you some hot ones.
No, honey, it'll take too long.
I'll just have some coffee. I'm in a hurry.
Well, I'll make some for myself.
Listen, you got any money?
I haven't got any money for cab fare.
I don't know. There's my bag over there on the shelf.
Thanks.
Oh, honey, I just remembered--
no, I don't have any money.
I don't have a cent in there, honey.
Give me my bag.
Wait a... wait...
I don't have a cent.
Wait a minute.
What are you getting so excited about?
Let's see what's in here.
Wow.
What is this?
Uh... it's my mad money.
150... 160... 170... $200 here.
Yeah, I get awful mad.
Lucy.
Where did you get this money?
Uh... I saved it out of my allowance?
No?
No.
Uh...
No.
Ew...
Now, Lucy, this is no joke.
There's a lot of money here.
I want to know where you got it.
Ricky, you said you were late for work.
Now, Lucy, I want to know where you got that money.
Did you earn it?
Did you borrow it?
Did you steal it?
Yeah, that's it.
Which one?
Oh, it doesn't matter-- any one of them.
Now, Lucy.
All right.
You'll find out sooner or later anyway.
I stole it.
What?
Well, I'm sorry-- I saw it
and I just couldn't help myself.
Now, Lucy, you're not telling me the truth.
Yes, I am.
Word of honor?
Well... what good's a crook's word of honor?
Look, I haven't got time for jokes right now
but by the time that I come home this afternoon
you better have an explanation
of how you got that money, understand?
Yes, sir.
All right.
I'll take the subway.
Lucy?
Ricky?
Lucy?
Yeah? Oh, there you are.
How did everything go today?
Oh, just wonderful. I got some wonderful stuff.
That's great.
But listen, Ethel
Ricky found that bazaar money
in my bag this morning.
He did? How did you explain it?
Oh, I didn't.
I tried to gag my way out by saying I stole it.
Stole it?!
Yeah, well, he didn't believe me.
Listen, Ethel, can I tell him that it belongs to you?
Huh?
Can I tell him the money is yours?
Well, if you'll do me a favor.
What?
Do you think you could auction off
that hideous cuckoo clock
that Fred won at Coney Island?
Well, sure, but Fred would never donate that.
But I've got a scheme.
I bought a little clock to donate
and I'm going to tell you to go downstairs and get it.
It's on a table next to the cuckoo clock
and you take the cuckoo clock by mistake, see?
After it's auctioned off
what can he do about it?
Ethel, how could ever think up a sneaky scheme like that?
Who do you think you are-- me?
I'll do it.
Fred?
Yeah.
Where are you?
Right here.
I'm trying to fix the leg on this darn couch.
It keeps coming off all the time.
You want to give me a hand?
Listen, Fred, I got an awful problem on my hands.
You should have thought of that
before you married her.
Look, this is no joke.
This morning I found
a roll of bills in Lucy's purse-- $200.
And just now I saw her sneaking in the house
carrying some big silver things--
real expensive-looking stuff.
Well, there must be some explanation.
I don't think so.
She hid them in the closet.
You know, there must be
thousands of dollars worth of stuff in that closet
that doesn't belong to us.
Gee whiz, you don't suppose
she's a kleptomaniac?
Oh, no, I just think she steals things.
Yeah, that's what a kleptomaniac is--
a person who steal things and can't help it.
It's a kind of a disease.
Oh, gee.
Oh, you must be mistaken.
Come on, help me with this, will you?
Okay.
My God.
Fred, are you home?
Fred?
Oh, Fred.
You see!
If I hadn't see it with my own eyes
I'd never believe it.
How do you like that?
She is a klep... klep... klep...
what you said.
Oh, this is terrible.
I'm married to a thief.
Now, listen, Rick, if she is a kleptomaniac
it isn't her fault.
She doesn't know what she's doing.
She's just a poor, sick person
and we shouldn't blame her for...
hey, that dirty crook stole my clock!
What am I going to do?
Well, I don't know about you
but I'm going to get my cuckoo clock.
Come on, let's sneak up the back way.
Okay.
Come on.
Hi, fellas.
Hi, Lucy.
What's new?
Nothing.
If you'll excuse me
I got to go in the bedroom.
Lucy?
Lucy, I want to talk
to you about something, honey.
Won't you sit down?
Oh, I'd rather not.
I...
Don't you...
don't you have anything
to tell me?
No.
Aren't you hiding something
under your coat?
No, no, that's all me.
Too much pie and cake lately, I guess.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
What was that?
Yeah.
Oh, I did it.
Uh... Cuckoo, cuckoo.
I'm learning to do bird calls.
It didn't sound like you.
Well, it was.
I'm... Cuckoo.
I'm... I do...
...several kinds of bird calls.
Uh... Cuckoo
Bird calls?
Yeah.
What was that?
That was a South African Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker.
Cuckoo.
Do you know any more bird calls?
Um...
What was that?
A hummingbird.
Cuckoo.
You do that cuckoo a lot, don't you?
Well, that's my best one.
Cuckoo.
Um... I do the English sparrow.
Cuckoo.
It's part sparrow and part cuckoo.
I know someone who's all cuckoo.
I'll see you later, fellas.
I want my cuckoo clock.
Wait, Fred, please.
You'll get your cuckoo clock back later.
The most important thing right now is Lucy.
Now, come on. Let's go down to your place.
What are you going to do?
There's only one thing to do.
I'm going to call a "pysaciatrist."
What?
A "pysaciatrist."
I'm going to call a head doctor.
I think
you should.
Come on, will you?
Lucy?
What?
The most awful thing happened.
Fred and Ricky saw you take the cuckoo clock.
They couldn't have. There was nobody there.
Yes, there was.
They were behind the sofa fixing something.
Oh, so that's why they were asking me all those questions.
And that's not all.
Ricky was hiding in the kitchen
and saw you putting all that stuff in the closet.
Oh, and that money this morning.
What must he think?
He thinks you're a kleptomaniac.
What?
A kleptomaniac.
He came down to our apartment
and called a psychiatrist.
I heard him.
He told him all about it.
He's bringing him home with him tonight.
Oh, he is, is he?
A fine, trusting husband to have.
Well, I'll show him.
Now, wait a minute, Lucy.
After all
Ricky actually saw you taking things.
Sure I've been taking things
but he thinks I've been taking things.
Oh.
Why don't you tell him
about the bazaar?
What, and admit that I'm a liar?
Oh, no.
If he wants a wife who's a thief
I'll give him a wife who's a thief.
Lucy, what are you hatching?
When Ricky and that psychiatrist
come home tonight
we are going to be playing a little play
starring Lucy the Lip and Babyface Ethel.
Oh, no.
You're not going to get me in on this.
Listen to me, Babyface.
Now, you help me pull this job or I'll squeal
that you were the brains in the cuckoo clock caper.
Okay, you got me.
What's the deal?
Come in, doctor.
Oh, remember, Ricky, not doctor.
Oh, that's right... Tom.
Lucy, where are you?
Oh, give me your coat.
Oh, thank you.
Sit down, won't you?
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Lucy?
I wonder where she could be.
Well, I...
Hi, Rick, you seen Ethel?
No.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know you had company.
Oh, that's all right.
This is a very good friend of mine
Dr. Robinson, the "pysaciatrist."
This our landlord, Mr. Mertz.
How do you do, Mr. Mertz?
How are you, doctor?
Very well, thank you.
Listen, don't call him doctor in front of Lucy.
We want her to think that he's just a friend.
Oh.
Have you seen Lucy?
She's probably with Ethel.
Maybe they're out shopping.
Yeah... or shoplifting.
Well, I hope they'll be home soon.
Would you like a cigarette, doc?
Oh, yes, thank you.
Well, this is the first time I ever smoked one of these.
Gee.
Fred, look at all these jewels.
Sticky fingers strikes again.
Wait a minute-- what's the matter with this chair?
Look at this.
A blowtorch.
A crowball... a crowbar.
Flash.
This is terrible.
Let me see what this is.
What is it?
Oh, no.
It's the floor plan of the Chase National Bank.
The 72nd street branch.
Why, that's where I keep my money.
This is serious.
Oh, I hope I'm not too late to help her.
What's going...
Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Did you get any of them?
Yeah, I got two, a flatfoot and a private eye.
I got the eye in the foot
and the foot in the eye.
I winged a couple myself.
Oh, hiya, Ricky.
Hiya, Lucy.
Hi, Ethel.
Hi, fatso.
Who's the geek?
Eh, Lucy, this is a very good friend of mine
T... Tom Robinson.
This is my wife, Lucy, and that's Mrs. Mertz.
Oh, how do you do, my dear?
Lucy!
What are you doing?
Just frisking him
to see if he's carrying a rod.
Hiya, Tom.
Oh, how do... ouch!
Oh, pardon the brass knuckles.
Lucy, where have you been?
Chase National Bank.
Oh, no.
You did it!
Nah, stupid here forgot the map and the torch.
I'm sorry, brain.
Yeah... another slip like that
and it'll be curtains for you.
Oh, it won't happen again.
I promise, brain.
Aah, shut up.
If you forgot the map...
If you forgot the map
where'd you get that bag of dough?
Well, just so the evening wouldn't be a total loss
we knocked over a gas station
on the way home.
Oh, no, no, no...
What are you yapping about, tubby?
It beats running this crummy apartment house.
Now, what are you...
listen, come to your senses
will ya, Ethel?
Oh...
so you're holding out on me, eh, Babyface?
This gang ain't big enough for the both of us.
No, I'm too young to die.
Mrs. Ricardo.
Yeah? Mrs. Ricardo...
Yeah.
Look me straight in the eye.
Yeah?
Mrs. Ricardo, you don't hate anyone.
You're at peace with all the world.
You love everybody.
Yeah?
Yes.
And you're tired.
You're feeling very tired, aren't you?
Yeah.
And you're getting very drowsy.
Yeah.
You feel so very sleepy
and calm and peaceful.
Yeah.
Relax.
That's a good girl.
Right down there.
Um...
oh, uh...
let's put little "Tommy" to bed, shall we?
Now, Mrs. Ricardo
why don't you tell me
how you got started
in this life of crime?
Go back.
Go back into your childhood.
Go back.
Back.
Well, it all started when I was a little girl.
I was riding on the streetcar one day
and I looked up and I saw a box and it said, "take one."
So I took one.
There was nothing wrong with that.
Oh, yes, there was.
From then on, I took anything that came into my pretty head
even though it didn't say, "take one."
I took a bright, new penny.
I took a bicycle.
I took a little boy.
You took a little boy?
Yeah.
But my mother made me give him back.
And then... then you grew up.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I began picking pockets.
I picked a peck of pockets.
Pretty soon I graduated to purse snatching.
Would you like to see my collection?
Well, uh... I don't believe I have time.
Where's my watch?
Right here, sonny.
Come on, dead end.
Okay, brains.
Oh, Ricky, this is much more serious than I realized.
Oh, do you think there's any hope?
Do you think you can do something?
I don't know.
Hey! That's a lot of purses!
I got purses here
I ain't never opened yet.
Get a load of this loot, sonny.
Get a load of that, will you?
Boy, I been snatching purses
for nigh unto 12 years.
Whoa, boy!
I grabbed this one quicker than I thought.
I remember now--
snatched this off a dummy in a store window.
Mrs. Ricardo.
Yeah?
I'm not just a friend of your husband's.
No?
No, I'm a doctor, a psychiatrist.
Now, if you'll undergo treatment with me
I think I can cure you of all this.
Well... I think I'm cured completely.
I don't think I'll ever steal anything
as long as I live.
Oh, why?
Well, what is there left?
This morning I achieved my highest desire--
a kleptomaniac's dream.
What do you mean, Mrs. Ricardo?
Well, I... sandpapered my fingertips
put on my big coat with the big, secret pocket
went down to Clyde Beatty's circus.
Down to Clyde Beatty's circus...
What could she possibly get at the Clyde Beatty circus?
Oh!