(engaging dramatic music)
(keyboard taps)
(gentle piano music)
(keyboard clacks)
(keyboard taps)
- Try it in black.
(uptempo drum beat)
Maybe not full black, something a little lighter.
(percussion beats)
Maybe slightly bigger on the font.
(snare beats)
How about a different color?
(rhythmic percussion)
Oh, oh yeah, I like that.
Now, maybe a little smaller on the font.
(light percussion music)
Perfect.
Great work, Ian, great work.
How do you feel about it?
- I'm happy if you're happy.
- Thank you very much.
You know, I knew you were the right choice.
(laughs)
Oh, is there something else?
Oh, right, right, right.
I'm a bit short on time.
Mm-hm.
There's progress here.
But, it's just not what we're looking for!
- Too many notes?
- It's just a bit derivative.
(dramatic piano music)
Great work on the logo, though, truly.
- Thanks.
- [Taymour] How'd it go?
- [Ian] He really liked the logo.
(melancholic orchestral music)
(delicate piano music)
(keyboard clacks)
(stirring orchestral music)
(keyboard clacks)
(computer closes)
(Ian sighs)
(bed creaks)
(birds chirp)
(engaging piano music)
(strokes violently strike)
(uptempo piano music)
(somber piano notes)
(phone beeps)
So, what actually made you use a dating site?
I mean, I'm sure you got guys asking you out all the time.
- Well, my friend met her boyfriend online?
and our other friend did too, but my sister,
she just got engaged and she met hims online.
So, I figured I must as well give it a shot.
- You had any luck?
- A few dates, it's kind of overwhelming.
- Yeah, I know, I hear there's so many assholes out there.
- I know, the assholes are easy to deal with.
You just delete whatever crude
bullshit they say or whatever.
The racially-charged things used to bother me a bit more,
guys talking about catching Yellow Fever.
- Wait, what?
People would do that in a message?
- Yes, the overwhelming part were all the sweet messages.
You know, I would get these thoughtful,
sincere messages from guys responding
to my profile and showing general interest,
and then I'm just not attracted to the person.
I used to try to respond but it was so much.
I don't even know these people and suddenly
I'm investing so much emotional energy
just trying to let them down easy,
I just had to stop responding.
- I get it, it's exhausting.
- I feel bad about it.
- No, I send at least 10 messages a day and every
single time and get invested enough
to actually write a great message and then somehow
not be attached to whether or not they respond.
So, then I'll see like an amazing profile,
spend so long trying to write an good message,
and then nothing, no response, it...
- That seems like a lot of messages to send.
- You know, it's how it works.
- [Jessica] Well, I don't know, it just seems like a lot.
How many messages did you send today?
- Okay, totally--
- [Jessica] Ian?
- When I first started, when I first started online dating,
I would just message one person, and I'd spend three weeks
like getting to know them and building a real connection,
and then we get in person and there's nothing.
There is no chemistry.
You can learn more in five minutes of meeting someone
than you can in 100s of messages online.
- So, let me get this straight, you message what,
a dozen women a day even when you have a date that night?
- [Ian] Okay, I get that, that...
- Yeah, this was a really nice place that you brought
me to and you went out and got me flowers.
I was excited to be taken out instead of just casual coffee,
but it's pretty hard to feel special when you get the vibe--
- You are, you are special.
I don't how to say it, I don't wanna lie to you.
I don't wanna lie to you on our first date,
but okay, yes, when I like someone I go all out
and how is that any different than someone
who just goes to coffee every single time?
- Because I'm aware that coffee isn't special.
This actually felt special, but actually
it's just what you do every single time.
- All right, dinner, flowers, that stuff used
to be standard, that's not my fault,
that's other guys these days, and what's the alternative?
Casual has never worked for me.
I mean, I would go to coffee with a girl
and I'd think that she was so amazing,
and then she'd be like, "Oh, I'm sorry.
"I see you more as just a friend,"
which of course she did because
we got coffee which is what friends do.
- Or, maybe if it was truly special it would transcend
even just getting coffee, and maybe doing
all of this makes it feel more special than it is.
- Okay Jessica, I'm sorry, what,
I can't change what happened before.
- You know how some couples are right on the verge
of marriage, and then months before the wedding
they break up, usually because one person realized
it wasn't a good fit and had the sense
to back out before things got even messier?
And then, within a year the person who got broken up with
is married, and it's like when that happens the person
who got broken up with just can't adjust their life plan.
They've alread carved out a spot for a wife or a husband
and now it just feels like a big hole is there.
So, they just shove the next person that fits.
Because their plan becomes more important than the person.
When you try to make everything special,
on some level, nothing is.
- Another date?
Man, you need to be painting, not dating.
- [Ian] Dude, they're not mutually exclusive.
- For you they are.
Remember when you got rejected form CalArts?
Instead of using that for your work, everything
was suddenly about getting back together with Tina.
How she was really the one.
Listen, dude, you can do this.
I know you can.
You just gotta stop running away from your bullshit, okay?
Use that.
So, while I'm gone why don't you use my space?
- No, I don't wanna use up all your paint--
- I'm gone three months, Ian.
These paints, these brushes, they need to breathe,
they need to live, all right, so let them live.
(brush scrubs)
(paint can clanks)
(keyboard clacks)
(dramatic piano music)
- [Ian] I don't even know where to begin, from your love
of Berryman, to your preference for "The Royal Tenenbaums"
over all of the Wes Anderson movies,
to your insistence on using the oxford comma.
We have more in common than I could ever list here.
I think it is amazing that you travel the world.
It's so beautiful that you make sure
to volunteer one day no matter were you travel.
I can't imagine what an incredible
and humbling experience that must be.
You carry around "Letters to a Young Poet."
I haven't read it 100 times like you,
but it is a book that changed my life.
What's your favorite quote from it?
Mine is easily, "Perhaps all the dragons of our lives
"are princesses, who are only waiting
"to see us beautiful and brave.
"Perhaps everything terrible is in deepest being,
"something helpless that wants help from us."
Honestly, I could go on and on,
but nothing I say is gonna top Rilke's words.
I'm ian.
(birds chirp)
(bed creaks)
(Ian sighs)
(engaging drum music)
Who's that?
- Christina.
- What, you're not gonna see her in New York, are you?
- Maybe, maybe.
- Dude, do not go down that road again.
- Yeah, you'd do the same for the best sex of your life.
- What about Samantha?
- I don't know, I'm gone all summer, what?
- Just for weeks you wouldn't shut up about
this hilarious joke Samantha made
and this amazing conversation you had,
or how fucking hot she is.
- Look, I know it sounds messed up, but I've told you,
when a girl gets too interested, it doesn't work.
- Yeah, so back to the manipulative chick
who never really cared about you.
- Look, relax, I thought we're here to see some art?
- All right this, this is not art.
- Come on, this is why you're here.
I mean, look.
- Yeah, no, Pop Art was bad enough when it happened,
like I get it made some commentary on consumerism.
The entire movement made one point.
To see the same shit 50 years later is a waste of time.
- [Taymour] What are you so pissed about.
- You have this amazing girl who could be everything you
ever want right in front of you, thrown way, because what?
She's too interested?
- You date her then.
- I would date the shit out of Samantha.
- Then I'll give her your number okay?
- Dude, she doesn't like me,
she likes you, just like they always do.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it's not your fault.
I'm good all right?
I'm good, let's catch your flight, all right?
(light percussion beat)
(dramatic piano music)
(water runs)
(phone rings)
Fuck!
Hey.
- [Sofia] Hi, do you know who this is?
- [Ian] I was hoping.
- [Sofia] You sound out of breath.
Is this a bad time?
- Now I was just brushing my teeth
and I raced to grab the call.
- [Sofia] Wait, you raced to brush
your teeth after sending me your number?
- [Ian] Ah, maybe.
- [Sofia] You brush your teeth for a phone call?
- Okay, I realize that doesn't make any sense.
- [Sofia] It does and it's very sweet.
- Yeah?
- [Sofia] Yeah, you're racing around
to get ready for a phone call.
- Well, I was excited.
You know, calling's cool, or whatever,
I wasn't overly excited or interested after two messages
and 30 seconds of a phone call, it was whatever.
- [Sofia] Oh, well good, because I prefer my men
to be so aloof and so caught up in their own image
that I become completely expendable.
- Oh perfect, should I neg you now?
- Yes, please.
- Your voice is kind of okay, I guess.
- [Sofia] What kind of neg is that?
- I don't know, I've never done it before.
Isn't supposed to be like this back-handed compliment?
- [Sofia] I'm not sure, but that was neither.
It was just vague.
- Ah, okay, let me, let me try again.
I'm not usually attracted to voices like yours.
- [Sofia] Ouch.
Okay, that was better.
Let me try to prove to you how attractive
my voice can be in sick validation.
- Woo, we are great at this.
- Experts.
- You know, clearly we have had the best dating experiences.
- [Sofia] Oh, clearly.
- Hence, taking our talents online.
- [Sofia] Oh, did you not see my profile?
I actually have a boyfriend.
I just run a service helping guys improve
their profiles and send their messages.
- Wait, really?
- No.
- [Sofia] Oh my gosh, you believed me--
- All my hopes and dreams just flashed before my eyes.
- [Sofia] Oh yeah, but I hook.
- Amazing.
- [Sofia] Well good, you know, it's funny, I love art
but I swore I would never date an artist.
- Oh yeah and why is that, why is that?
- [Sofia] All the usual stereotypes,
which I guess is unfair.
- Hey, I'm just grateful for any
of your stereotypes or biases that kept you
single long enough for me to get my shot.
(Sofia chuckles)
What was the last piece of art that truly arrested you?
- [Sofia] Wow, now that's a question.
Are you familiar with Umberto Boccioni?
- I know the name but I don't really know the work.
- [Sofia] He was so young when he died.
He was not like these other artists
that kept painting the same things over and over,
long after art has progressed and moved on.
No, he was right in the middle of it.
I mean, who knows how many paintings we don't get now?
By the end with Pollock, and Picasso, and Ed Ruscha,
we felt like that we have seen everything that could do,
but Boccioni, gosh, he as just getting started.
And it is, "The City Rises" to answer your question.
- [Ian] Oh wow, wow, I just pulled it up.
It looks pretty cool.
- [Sofia] What, no, no, no, no, what are you doing?
Oh my God.
- Sorry, sorry, okay.
- [Sofia] No, every image whether blurs out
the brush strokes on top that make it come to life,
or they capture the brush strokes but then
the entire images loses shape.
Oh, it's like there's a vibrancy.
There's a life to this piece, like nothing I have ever seen.
It literally stopped me in my tracks.
That's why I find it so striking that you use
the word, arrested, because that's exactly
what this painted did to me.
- Well, I don't think I ever wanted
to see a painting more in my life.
- [Sofia] It's part of the permanent collection at MoMA.
- Oh, we'll have to go sometime.
- [Sofia] Yeah, yeah, we will.
- Okay, so, I don't usually do this,
but I also don't usually hit it off with people like this,
so, I was wondering, do you wanna be super spontaneous
and got out to dinner tonight?
- [Sofia] Oh, Ian, I really would love to but I can't.
- Yeah, no, yes, of course, right yeah.
I understand.
- [Sofia] No, no, no, no, you don't understand.
I'm not in LA right now.
My mom is sick, she has cancer.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- [Sofia] Don't be sorry.
She's going for a double mastectomy next week,
so I'm here to be with her.
- I can't even imagine what you're going through right now.
I'm so glad she has you.
- [Sofia] We are very optimistic.
She's a doctor, so she's getting the best care possible
and the oncologist is very confident
that they'll be able to get it all.
- [Ian] I'm sorry.
- [Sofia] Don't say that.
Sorry is for when you lose something.
This is I don't know, it's just one
of those life moments, I guess.
But, I am going to be here for a month.
- Where is here?
- [Sofia] Mexico City.
- Wow, that is far.
- [Sofia] Yeah, it is.
Look, I understand if you're not interested.
I was going to delete my profile
but then I got your message, and I wasn't even going
to respond, I had so many things going on.
But it was the best message I've ever received
and I really tried to restrain myself
from responding but I couldn't.
- That was like less than 24 hours ago.
- [Sofia] I know, I got it last night
and I might have stayed up later than I would like
to admit just trying not to respond.
- I'm really glad you did.
- [Sofia] Me too.
But I'm not there.
Look, we can always try when I get back again,
if you're available, when can probably meet for coffee.
- Sofia.
- [Sofia] Yeah?
- This is something special.
Look at the way we just jumped into conversation,
skipping all of that boring small talk.
Look, maybe you don't have this problem,
because you are so damn fascinating,
but moments like this are rare,
and when I encounter it, I'm smart enough to hold onto it.
A month is nothing.
And, I know you are going through so much
and we've just met, but I'm here,
as much here as you'll want me.
- [Sofia] Wow, you are amazing.
- Me, have you seen yourself?
- [Sofia] Yeah, I have.
- You're the amazing one.
- [Sofia] Why does me being amazing mean that you aren't?
I gotta go now, but I would love to talk to you soon.
- I would love that too.
- [Sofia] Thank you, Ian.
- For what?
Sofia?
(engaging piano music)
(messages beep)
(phone rings)
Hey, I thought you with your mom?
- [Sofia] I am.
I just have to escape for a second.
Oh my God, escape it's so bad.
- Oh yeah, no, no, I think I know what you mean.
- [Sofia] I'm in this random stairwell.
Everything just feels so crammed!
I've been here with my mom so many times
when she was working, but it's like
everything just feels so phony now.
- Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, how's she doing?
How's she doing, is she doing okay?
- [Sofia] She's a tough one.
- How are you doing?
- [Sofia] I'm not quite as tough, but I am
trying to stay strong for her.
- No, you don't have to do that for me.
- [Sofia] That's quite the gift.
- All you gotta be is exactly who you are, that's it.
- [Sofia] You don't believe in God, do you?
- No, that was unexpected.
- [Sofia] I saw it on your profile, and it's just
with my mom and everything that's happening right now.
- Yeah, no, I don't
- [Sofia] I don't know how you do that.
Religion is so important in my culture.
Questioning was never even an option.
I mean, even my mom, this woman of science.
She went to confession every week.
And yes, I've always had my doubts,
but when everything around you is built on believing--
- I mean, our entire society is built on believing.
How do you ever get anyone go to die
in your war if you think this it?
How do you ever comfort their loved ones
if they think there's not some better place?
- [Sofia] You don't think there's a better place?
- Okay, I realize this is the worst time
to say it, but I don't.
- [Sofia] That scares me.
- Of course, of course it scares you.
I mean that's terrifying.
- [Sofia] Then why don't you believe?
- Me wanting something to be true
is not enough of a reason to believe it.
- [Sofia] I don't wanna believe this is it.
- Neither do I.
- [Sofia] The only way that I was able to get through
my dad passing was believing he was in a better place,
and yeah, I was 10-years-old, but now I can't get over it.
I can accept this being the only love that I get,
but how could I possibly wish that
on the people that I love the most?
- I only ever want Heaven for other people.
- [Sofia] What about for you?
- I don't know, I guess I don't need it.
I just see so many people throwing away
their entire lives just trying to get to the next one.
- [Sofia] I don't think anyone wants to find out
that something that they've spent
so long believing in just doesn't exist.
- Of course not, who wants to be wrong about that?
How do you tell some Mormon, that oh sorry,
you spent your whole life looking at the wrong book.
(Sofia laughs)
- [Sofia] You're funny.
You know, I just got this image of all these Catholics
and Muslim extremists walking up to the Pearly Gates
and St. Peter being like, "Oh, I'm sorry,
"actually Scientology was the way to eternal salvation.
"What do I tell you?"
- I love how in that image, it's still St. Peter telling
all these people that Scientology was the way.
- [Sofia] Of course it is.
He'll be like, "I know, I know, this sucks.
"They didn't let me in either.
"Why do you think I'm stuck here
"with gate duty for all eternity?"
(Ian sighs)
I gotta go check on my mom.
- Yeah, I know.
- [Sofia] I'll be thinking of you.
- Mm, ditto.
- [Sofia] Ew.
(Ian laughs)
Oh gosh, you did not just say ditto.
I am hanging up.
- Ditto.
(Sofia scoffs)
(message beeps)
(gentle piano music)
(bright piano music)
(camera clicks)
(message sends)
(message replies)
(phone rings)
Hey, what are you doing up so late?
- [Sofia] You drew me a picture!
- A sketch, but yeah.
- [Sofia] I love it.
- Oh, it's just a doodle.
- [Sofia] Oh come on, shut up and take your compliment.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
What time is there, I didn't wake up, did I?
- [Sofia] No, it's about four.
I woke up and I'm just couldn't go back to sleep.
- Right, I know that one.
- [Sofia] What are you doing up so late?
- Well, I didn't know who bell hooks was.
- Wait, were you just Googling
everything you didn't know in my profile?
- Maybe, but the point is that I could've just Googled it
and not said anything, but I'm actually admitting
that I don't know, which is a big deal
for someone who likes to hide behind their intelligence.
- [Sofia] Okay, well, so are you ready
for your feminism crash course?
- I mean, I guess.
I just, I don't know if I'd call myself a feminist.
I'm all for equality but do I have to call it fem-in-ism?
- [Sofia] Ian!
(Ian laughs manically)
Oh, you asshole.
- I'm so, sorry.
I just wish I could've seen your face.
- [Sofia] Do you know how often
I have to hear shit like that?
- [Ian] I am sorry, I am sorry.
(Ian laughs strangely)
Please, please give me my lesson.
- [Sofia] Well, clearly I'm gonna to have
to start way farther back than I thought.
- Ouch.
- [Sofia] Okay, so, first wave we have
suffragettes, right to vote, equality.
Second wave, it's the bra-burning,
claiming that men are the problem,
and sore women who want to be housewives.
We are still trying to undo the damage from the second wave.
And, then third wave is bell hooks, intersectionality.
- And intersectionality is the idea
that you can't separate race from gender,
from class when you discuss these things?
- [Sofia] Mm hm, yeah, exactly.
So, first wave we would like to have a choice.
Second wave, this is the only choice that you can make,
or you're part of the problem.
Third wave, all of the choices.
- Smash the patriarchy!
- [Sofia] But the patriarchy does not mean men.
- Yeah, I know, I read bell hooks' essay
"Understanding Patriarchy."
- [Sofia] You did?
- Yeah, the part about a man's value being measured
by his willingness or ability to do violence,
well really hit me, no pun intended.
- [Sofia] Men are only allowed to have one emotion, rage.
- Yeah, that was my Dad.
My dad was, he was the kind of guy, I don't know.
You feel weird using certain words,
but he was the kind of guy that thought
it was okay to beat up your kids,
and we would get beat up for all kinds of things.
Like, one time I got beat up for putting the pizza
in the fridge while it was still in the box,
as opposed to taking it out and putting
each piece into individual bags so it'd stay fresher.
I, saw this one show where the kid stands up to his dad
and his dad backs down, and every time I tried
to do it, but I wasn't able to.
But this...
Sorry, one second.
This one time, I was in the den watching TV
and he came into the back and he just slammed me
in the shoulder, I didn't even know what the fuck I did.
He just...
And, I told him he didn't get to hit me anymore.
He said, "What was that?"
And I said it again.
And he got so calm and he walked out of the room,
and he walked into my bedroom, and he took all my paintings
and my drawings, and he just started tearing them,
and I screaming for him to stop,
and he went into the kitchen and he grabbed
the ones off the fridge, and he ripped
those up too, like fucking things from when I was like four,
and he shoved all the pieces under my pillow,
and he forced me into the bed
and he told me to fucking sleep on it.
- [Sofia] Ian.
- And, the thing they never show you about people
like that is how nice they are in between.
Just so nice to all my friends and no one believed me,
and it makes you feel like if you didn't keep messing up,
that maybe they'd still be nice to you.
So, I tried to do anything I possibly could
to prove that I had value, I'd win all these contests
for my art in the newspaper, and the county fairs,
and at school, and every painting was like the only,
and just like that he ripped 'em all up.
And, I let him hit me whenever he wanted after that.
- [Sofia] You didn't deserve that.
- Yeah, I know.
Sorry, I changed the subject.
It all connects in my head.
- [Sofia] No, I see it.
Don't ever apologize for being open with me.
What I hold onto all this time is
this longing for my dad to see me now,
to have all those moments that I didn't
get to have with him, but--
- What?
- [Sofia] I realized that was gonna come up wrong.
- You were gonna say something about your dad
and being glad he wasn't like mine.
- [Sofia] I didn't mean it like that.
- No, it's okay, it's all right.
- [Sofia] My dad used to go out every night.
He was never gone for long, maybe an hour,
it just felt way longer back then.
I always wanted to go with him.
My mom got mad at him and told him to just go after work
instead of coming home and then leaving again.
But he said he always wanted to see us first.
It was always the same routine.
He would go get his shoes on,
I would stand in front of the door trying to block it,
and he would just come up to me and kiss me
on the head and told me that he loved me.
But one day, he said, "Okay, let's go then."
He took me out on this windy road by the coast
and we watched the waves and the birds.
Then, we got out of the car and he carried me
in his arms and I remember thinking
I was too big for this but I loved it.
He carried me until the sun sat and the waves
and the tide came up to his ankles.
Then we went back to the car.
He put me in the back seat.
He said he was going to take a picture.
He went to the back and grabbed the bag.
He told me to stay right there and keep the car locked.
Then he walked away.
I heard the bang.
I don't know if he thought I would hear it, but I did.
I just didn't know what it was.
- Sofia?
- [Sofia] Yes.
- Did you feel that?
- [Sofia] Yes?
(Ian sighs)
(engaging piano music)
(upbeat orchestral movement)
(messages beep)
(gentle piano music)
(video call rings)
(phone rings)
- [Sofia] Hey, you accidentally video called me.
- I know, it was on purpose.
- [Sofia] Oh.
- It was date night, I wanted to make it special.
- [Sofia] I'm sorry, I can't.
Video-calling is so expensive here
and I really need to save money when I'm not working.
- It's okay, I just got dressed up, I wanted to show you.
- [Sofia] Oh really?
So did I, just give me one second.
(phone dings)
- Damn.
Damn.
This would've been, woo.
This would've been your view.
(camera clicks)
- [Sofia] Oh wow, you are so handsome.
A suit is literally like the equivalent of male lingerie.
- Well, if you wanna send a lingerie photo
to even us out, I won't object.
- [Sofia] I'm sure you wouldn't.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah.
Are you lying to me?
- No, I'm good, how was your day?
(engaging drum beats)
(intense drum beats)
(engaging drum beats)
(shower runs)
(engaging dramatic music)
(phone rings)
- [Sofia] Hey, I was getting a little worried.
- Yeah, I was working out.
- [Sofia] Hmm, thanks for the visual.
- [Ian] You said you were Colombian.
What are you doing in Mexico?
- [Sofia] My dad was from Mexico City.
My mom is from Colombia.
So, they moved to Mexico after I was born.
- You have Colombian citizenship?
- [Sofia] I am indeed dual.
My mom would always get mad at me for speaking
Mexican-Spanish instead of real Spanish.
- Don't wanna be cliche, but would you mind--
- [Sofia] Saying something right now.
- Yeah.
- [Sofia] Do you speak Spanish?
- No.
- [Sofia] (speaks Spanish)
- Damn, that was, that really does it for me.
Certain things just--
- [Sofia] Just do it for you, like accents, right?
- Yeah.
- [Sofia] And what else?
- Asses, I have dealt with way more than I should've,
abandoned something that was way better
than it was, just for a great ass.
- [Sofia] You are such a man.
- Yeah, despite my best efforts.
Why won't you video chat with me?
- I told you, it's expensive here.
- I know you have Wifi.
- [Sofia] I don't have a webcam.
- Come on.
- [Sofia] What if when we meet it's not the same
and then we never speak again?
- What are you talking about?
Of course it will be the same.
It'll be fucking better!
- [Sofia] Did you ever think that you found the one?
- Once, but it was in high school.
- [Sofia] Mine was more recent.
He was from England and had joined the Peace Corps.
His Spanish was bad so we mainly
spoke in English, but he would try.
That was important.
We fell in love and then he went back to England
to take care of his visa and visit his family.
He was supposed to back in a couple months,
but I never saw him again, never heard
from him again, not a text, nothing.
I don't understand that.
How can you tell someone that you love them
and then you never text them again?
I mean, I get it that if it's hard
and I understand if he couldn't come back, but nothing?
Never knowing, even to this day, I can barely think
about it, it just eats me up inside.
- Yeah, I can't even imagine.
- [Sofia] Your biggest fear is I'm not who I say I am,
that all this will be for nothing.
- Yeah.
- [Sofia] I understand, that's exactly what I went through.
My biggest fear is all of a sudden you're
just gonna disappear and if I get on video with you,
all of a sudden all of your fears are gone,
but I still wake up with mine every morning.
But, I'll do it, if that's what it takes.
I'll do it.
- Ah, you know they say the opposite of love isn't hate,
it's fear, I don't wanna come from a place of fear,
so, like every time someone you're with,
they go out to dinner, or they work late,
you gotta choose trust, so that's what I'm gonna.
It's only what, 10 more days?
I choose trust.
(delicate piano music)
(audio instructor speaks in Spanish)
(Ian speaks Spanish)
(audio instructor speaks in Spanish)
(Ian speaks Spanish)
- [Audio Instructor] Excellent, now, where is my hotel?
- (Ian speaks Spanish)
- [Audio Instructor] That's right.
(speaks Spanish)
(phone rings)
- [Ian] Hey, you.
- [Sofia] Hey.
- [Ian] What's up?
- [Sofia] Just getting home from a meeting.
- Yeah, what kind of meeting?
- Is this a bad time?
- No, I was just getting some work done,
you know, painting, I'm on a roll.
- [Sofia] Well, I can call you back.
- It's okay, just trying to squeeze
some in before I gotta go.
- [Sofia] Okay, why don't you just
call me back from the car then.
- All right.
- [Sofia] I'm nervous for you.
- Don't be, I'll be fine.
- [Audio Instructor] Excellent.
Now, where is my hotel.
(speaks in Spanish)
- [Sofia] When was the last time you were home?
- Oh, maybe six months ago.
- [Sofia] Wait, how long is your drive?
- It's only two hours?
- [Sofia] And you haven't been home in six months?
- Yeah, just with my dad and everything.
- [Sofia] Oh sorry, I know.
I just thought you wanted to see everyone else.
So, you're brother just graduated med school.
You must be super proud of him.
- Yeah, I am.
Earlier it seemed like there was
something you wanted to tell me.
- [Sofia] Yeah, do you want the good news or the bad news?
- Bad news first, always bad news.
- [Sofia] Can I do the good news first?
- Yeah, of course.
- [Sofia] I got offered an internship at Google.
- Wait, what, that's incredible, for coding?
- [Sofia] Yes.
- Oh my God, that's amazing.
What's the bad news?
- [Sofia] The job is here in Mexico City.
- Oh.
- [Sofia] It's only three months
and it would give me more time with my mom
and I'd actually be making money.
- Yeah, right, of course.
- [Sofia] But also, I really care about you
and I know this isn't what you signed up for.
- I mean, it's Google, you don't say no to Google.
Also it's your mom.
I wouldn't want you picking me over either of those things.
When do you start?
- [Sofia] In two weeks, why?
- Well, maybe we still use that ticket you have back,
spend a weekend together, and then
I pay for you to fly to Mexico.
- [Sofia] That is so sweet of you,
but I would never let you pay for my ticket.
I really wanna see you.
I just have to figure this all out.
- Yeah, of course.
- [Sofia] Are you sure you're okay?
- I'm sorry if it seems like I'm not.
I really am happy for you.
I was just also really excited to see you.
- [Sofia] I know, you will soon.
- Yeah.
- [Sofia] I gotta tell my mom.
- Oh, you told me first?
- [Sofia] Of course, (speaks Spanish)
- Sofia?
- [Sofia] Yeah.
- I truly am happy for you.
(door knocks)
- [JD] What's up sis?
- [Ian] Congratulations, buddy.
- Hi, Ian.
- [Ian] Hey mom.
- I missed you.
- I missed you too.
Where's Dad?
- He's in the kitchen.
- [DJ] You see that Allison?
- Hey Ian.
- [Ian] Hey Allison.
How's nursing school?
- It's tough but worth it.
Just one more year until I'm a RN.
- [Ian] That's really awesome.
I gotta find my dad.
(knives chop)
- There you are.
- [Ian] Hiya, Dad.
- You were cutting it a little close don't you think?
- [Ian] There was traffic.
- There's always traffic.
- [Ian] You need a hand?
- No, no, I got that, you get that.
(light percussion)
So, did you hear back from the art gallery?
- [Ian] I did actually.
They're all booked up but they liked my stuff.
- Congratulations.
- [Ian] And they want me to submit again.
- Well, of course they did.
- That's so awesome.
I'd love to see some of your art.
- He did the one in the hallway you said was weird.
- I didn't say it was weird.
I just didn't know what it was.
- [Ian] It's not supposed to be anything.
It's supposed to make you feel something
more than it's supposed to be something.
- And what is this one supposed to make you feel?
- [Ian] I mean, it varies for each person.
I'm not gonna tell someone what they're supposed to feel.
- Seems to me if you knew what you were saying,
the art galleries would respond to you more, favorably.
I mean, your brother always knew what he wanted to be.
Since he was 13-years-old, wanted to be
an orthopedic surgeon, not a doctor like the other kids,
but something very specific, he always knew
what he wanted to be and look at him now.
- [JD] Same thing I did with Allison.
- I need to use the restroom.
(light percussion)
(messages beep)
(drums play more intensely)
(toilet flushes)
- [Jonathan] What on Earth took you so long, man?
- He was probably taking a shit.
- [Sandra] JD!
- I was texting a girl.
- [JD] What's his name?
- [Sandra] Quiet.
- Her name is Sofia.
- [Sandra] So, do you have any pictures?
- Yeah.
- Oh, she's beautiful.
- Let me see.
Dude, she's hot.
What are you texting Tina for?
- Who is that, your new girlfriend?
- [Sandra] His ex-girlfriend.
- [JD] Trying to reignite an old high school fling?
- JD!
- [Ian] No, I'm with Sofia.
- Then why isn't Sofia here?
- She's in Mexico.
- Your girlfriend lives in Mexico?
- Her mom has cancer.
- Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
- How did you two meet?
- [Ian] Online.
- [JD] You have met her though, right?
- Yeah, no, of course we want on a great date
and then her mom get sick.
I'm not gonna call it off just because her mom's sick.
- That is so sweet of you.
- [JD] You have any pictures of you two?
- [Ian] Stop it, give me my phone.
- Man, come on share your phone.
Your brother doesn't have any secrets.
- It's my phone.
- If I recall you're on my phone plan.
- [Ian] That's because you won't take
the money whenever I try to give it to you.
- That's not the point.
- The point is you can't hold it
over my head and also refuse it.
- It's my house, I can do what I want.
- [Ian] Yeah, you made that clear.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Don't start with the Dad was abusive shit, again.
- [Allison] What?
- [JD] Ian he likes to say--
- You don't know what it was like.
- We don't know what it was like, huh?
Well, then tell us.
Tell us little buddy, what was
it like to be such an abused child.
- [Sandra] Okay, Jonathan, let's just drop it.
- No, I wanna hear it from the artist here.
Come on tell us.
Congratulations, you made what was
supposed to be JD's night all about you.
I put a roof over your head ever day.
I put food on your plate every day, every day, every day.
- I don't have to take this.
- I love you all, but I don't have
to take this just because I love you.
- [Sandra] Ian?
- Hey, hey asshole.
You get your ass back in this house,
you apologize to your brother, and your mother.
- [Ian] I'll call 'em later, I'm leaving.
- No, no, no, no, no.
(tense dramatic music)
You think life is so hard, it isn't.
When I was in high school I wanted to be a rock star,
but I manned up, your mother got pregnant so I married her.
- Oh, I'm sorry I stopped
the Red Eye Ducks from international fame.
(slaps)
- That remind you of how I abused ya?
Let me remind you again.
(slaps)
You don't say a word.
You don't get to say shit til you walked a mile in my shoes.
Following your dreams is easy, manning up is what's hard.
- That's what being a man is?
You coulda kept playing.
- [Johnathan] It hurt too much.
- Where do you think all that pain went?
(tense dramatic music)
- Oh my God, I almost thought you weren't gonna show.
Are you okay?
- [Ian] Why didn't we work out?
- You mean 'cause I was going to school
in Boston and then you went to LA?
- No after that, when you came back?
- Do you really wanna do this again?
- I gave you everything.
I gave you all of myself.
- Congratulations, so what?
- So what?
You're saying so what to me giving you everything.
- Okay, what the hell happened at your Dad's?
Hey, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Hey, come here.
Hey, hey.
Do you remember when we snuck into that construction site
and we climbed the scaffolding,
and you packed all that stuff, and you had
this whole little picnic thing planned,
but when you pulled the blanket out
you sent all the food flying off the side of the building?
- Yeah, that really sucked.
- And then the boombox wouldn't work.
- Yeah, stupid JD took the batteries.
- Yeah, so you sang to me instead.
- Yeah, but I didn't know any of the lyrics.
- So you just kept singing.
♪ I don't wanna wait ♪
Over, and over, and over again.
(Ian hums)
It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever had.
- That is not true.
- Hey, are you okay?
- Yeah.
(engaging music)
(panting)
- They really did a number on you, huh?
Shh, it's okay.
(bright music)
Hey, where'd you go?
Come back.
(bright music)
(panting)
(bright music)
- I'm sorry, okay Tina.
- [Tina] What?
- I can't, I can't.
- What?
Where are you going?
Hey!
(phone rings)
- [Sofia] Hey, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm so sorry about earlier.
- [Sofia] What are you sorry for?
- I wasn't as excited as I should have been.
You are so amazing.
You're going through such a hard time.
You get this incredible news about thing you worked
so hard for and that you completely deserve,
and I made it all about me, and you deserve
better than that and I am so sorry.
- [Sofia] I really appreciate you saying that,
but it's okay, I get it.
- It isn't okay, I'm going to be better.
- [Sofia] You're already amazing.
- Still, it frustrates me so much sometimes.
Like, what if something happened to you?
Would anyone even know to call me?
Would I get to talk at your funeral?
- [Sofia] Jesus, how often are you thinking
about something terrible happening to me?
- I didn't mean it like that,
but does anybody even know about me?
It's just so hard not having anything
I could literally hold on to.
- [Sofia] Do you think it's easy for me?
I take care of my mom.
I spent all night refreshing myself
on Python and C++ and then I'm distracted the whole time,
because the guy that I'm super into went from texting me
all the time to not texting me at all.
- I'm really sorry about that?
- [Sofia] And meanwhile, I have this other guy
hitting me up that I was talking to before I met you.
- Wait, wait, wait, what other dude?
- [Sofia] It doesn't matter.
Some guy I went with on a couple dates.
- Wait, what happened?
- [Sofia] You happened, dummy.
- I'm sorry I didn't mean to--
- [Sofia] That's not what I'm trying to say.
What I'm trying to say is you are my life now
and if I hadn't met you I probably would have
gone out with him and it would have been okay,
and who knows, maybe it could've been something more,
because I'm 30 and I didn't find what I was looking for,
that thing that I thought was out there.
But then I met you and I realized
I didn't have to give up on that hope,
and I'm not trying to make you feel bad
for not texting me and me being distracted.
It's not that, it's just I'm revealing to you
what I'm not supposed to reveal,
that I'm upset when we're not talking.
I miss you and I'm--
- I missed you, I missed you too.
Okay, I have never felt anything like this
and I am terrified of losing you.
- [Sofia] I thought you gonna choose trust.
- Yeah, yes, I am.
You're able to video chat aren't you?
All that other stuff is just--
- [Sofia] Ian, I--
- No, no, no, no, hey, I get it.
I do, I just, I wanna show you me.
I want you to see the look in my eyes.
- [Sofia] You don't have to do this.
- I know, I want to.
Hey.
- [Sofia] Hi, it's your face.
- It is.
- [Sofia] I love it.
- You've seen it before.
- [Sofia] It's different in action.
I didn't realize how nice your jaw is.
- A girl told me once that's how
she knew I was a good kisser.
- [Sofia] Subtle brag.
I can always judge by lip size.
- Well, I'm not winning there.
- [Sofia] Oh shush, you're lips are prefect.
- I really wish I could kiss you.
- [Sofia] Where are you?
- The side of the road.
- [Sofia] Isn't it late and you can just go home?
We can talk later.
- I wanted you to see me.
- [Sofia] I see you.
Ian.
- Yeah.
- [Sofia] Kiss me.
(engaging music)
(lips smack)
She was right, you are a good kisser.
- I want you.
- [Sofia] I need you too.
- Imagine my lips kissing down your neck, gently,
gently down over your body.
- [Sofia] Mm hmm
- Down in between your breasts,
down your belly, down your legs.
- [Sofia] I can feel that.
- Do you feel that?
- [Sofia] Yes, I can feel that.
- Feel my hands rubbing up your leg.
Feel me when I was between them.
(panting and moaning)
Feel the way you make me grow.
- [Sofia] Oh God, I'm waiting.
- I'm gonna get inside you.
- [Sofia] I need you inside me right now.
- Oh yes, please, yes, yes.
- [Sofia] Just like that, oh God, it's amazing.
- Sofia.
- [Sofia] Oh give it to me, just like that, just that, yeah.
Ian, Ian.
- Yes, yes, yes Sofia.
- [Sofia] Oh my God.
(screaming and grunting)
(laughing)
Oh my God.
- I made such a big mess.
- [Sofia] In the car?
- No, all over the side of the road.
(laughing)
- [Sofia] I don't think I've ever orgasmed this hard.
- I know I haven't.
Sofia?
- [Sofia] What is it?
- I--
- [Sofia] Ian.
- Yeah?
- [Sofia] I love you.
- I love you too.
- You really turned a corner here, Ian.
There is something so fresh and raw about these paintings.
These are all the same woman, right?
It's like you couldn't get all of her in one painting,
so you had to do more to get all of her sides.
Wow.
This is the one, right?
This is it, you know what?
The feature artist that we were gonna show next month got
snatched up by MOCHA, would you be interested in the slot?
- [Sofia] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
I'm so happy for you?
I want you to tell me everything.
I haven't even seen one of the paintings.
- They're a surprise.
- [Sofia] Oh my God, you are such a tease.
- Okay, okay, here.
- [Sofia] Wait, is that one of the paintings?
- Yeah.
- [Sofia] It's of me.
- [Ian] Yeah, I know.
- [Sofia] You showed a curator
a painting of me before you showed me?
- Do you know how difficult you are to paint?
Do you know how many times I had
to start over just trying to get it right?
- [Sofia] What are the other paintings?
Ian?
Ian, are you gonna fill a gallery with paintings
of me when I can't even be there?
- I thought it'd be a surprise.
I thought I could fly you out.
- [Sofia] Let's just drop it.
- No, I don't want this hanging between us.
- [Sofia] You are filling a a gallery with paintings
of me without my permission and then you're guilting
about not being able to be there, so let's just drop it.
- I'm sorry.
- [Sofia] Ian--
- Look, I'll cancel, I'll cancel the show, okay?
I'll cancel the show, it's not worth it.
I don't wanna fight with you.
- [Sofia] No, no, you will not do such a thing.
Look, it's okay, I'm fine, I promise.
I am really flattered.
I just wish you would have told me.
And, what's your schedule like next week?
- Why?
- [Sofia] I know it's your birthday, so I figure you're
gonna be with friends and everything,
but I would love to have one of those days.
- The whole day?
- [Sofia] Yep.
- I would really love that.
- [Sofia] Good.
(phone rings)
- Good morning.
- [Sofia] Happy day, we're celebrating your birthday!
Aftofore to be shortened to, Happy Birthday?
- Aftofore?
- [Sofia] The opposite of heretofore.
Try to keep up, we have a very very, busy day.
- Oh yeah.
- [Sofia] Happy Birthday, get up, get up, get up.
Go check your computer.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- [Sofia] Check your email.
- Okay, what is all this?
- [Sofia] Our itinerary.
(bright engaging music)
- [Ian] This looks so good.
- [Sofia] You said you always wanted to go.
- You remembered.
Oh my God, it's so good.
- [Sofia] I told you.
- Wow, what have I been doing?
(Sofia laughs)
- [Sofia] Pick out a book, anyone you want.
It's your birthday.
So, I want you to really treat yourself.
Read me one.
- "I could scream down 90 mountains
"to less than dust
"if only one living human had eyes in the head
"and heart in the body,
"but there is no chance,
"my god,
"no chance.
"rat with rat dog with dog hog with hog,
"play the piano drunk
"listen to the drunk piano,
"realize the myth of mercy
"stand still
"as even a child's voice snarls
"and we have not been fooled,
"it's only that we wanted to believe."
- [Sofia] You already knew that one, didn't you?
- Yeah, it's one of my favorites.
- [Sofia] Pick up a book full of ones
that you have never read before.
- Okay.
- [Cashier] Will that be all for you?
- [Sofia] Tell them you're Ian.
- What?
- [Sofia] Tell them you're Ian.
- I'm Ian.
- [Cashier] Oh, well this is all taken care of then.
Happy Birthday.
- Thank you, how did you--
- [Sofia] Next place.
(bright engaging music)
- The swan?
- [Sofia] I know, I know.
- Seriously?
The swan?
- [Sofia] You love it anyways.
- Do you have any idea how ridiculous I look.
- [Sofia] It's your birthday.
You're allowed to look ridiculous.
- [Ian] Wow.
- [Sofia] This is my favorite place in LA.
- It really is beautiful.
- [Sofia] If you look under the tree
you're gonna find pen and paper to write with.
I wrote you something.
- Wait really?
- No, not there silly, I don't want anyone to get it?
- Still, that means so much to me.
No one's every written something for me before.
- [Sofia] Shut up and let me read it.
- Okay, okay.
- There's something that happens when we get up high enough.
The things once important suddenly so small,
like the world of ants bustling beneath us,
that never gives us pause as we tread on homes.
You were the first thing that lifted me high enough
to make ants of my troubles and sand for my fears.
You took all my tomorrows and turned them into years,
for the first breath of air after wishing in a tunnel,
the excitement of an ice cream truck
when you just got your allowance,
you snow-fallen Christmas, rain in the desert.
You bring thanks to people on a daily basis,
but most of all you mean the world to me.
- Thank you.
- [Sofia] What is it?
- My battery's dying.
- [Sofia] Oh it's okay.
That was the last thing on the itinerary
and I have to go soon anyway.
- I just thought there was maybe something else.
- [Sofia] Like what.
- Well, it is my birthday.
- [Sofia] Oh, I see, well we can have sex
later tonight after I get my mom into bed.
- I wasn't talking about sex.
- [Sofia] Oh, Ian, I can't.
- Yes you can.
- [Sofia] I told you.
- Yeah, but just because you told me before
doesn't mean we can't do this.
- [Sofia] So what, you just presumed
that because it was your birthday I would get on camera
with you and now you're mad at me because I didn't--
- I'm not mad, it's just--
- [Sofia] After the entire day that I planned for you,
all you can focus on is that I did not get on camera
with you after you told me that you were okay with my--
- It's weird, okay, it's okay.
Like, I get in the beginning but you know me.
I've given you everything.
When will it be enough?
When will I be enough?
- [Sofia] Enough for what?
You have me.
- No, I don't!
- [Sofia] You're right, you don't.
- Sofia, Sofia?
(drums play)
- [Machine] Your call has been
forwarded to an automated.
Your call has been forwarded to an.
- Fuck.
(intense percussion plays)
Come on, come on.
- [Machine] Your call has been forwarded
to an automated voice messaging.
When you finish recording you may hung up
or press one for more options.
- Hey, it's me.
I know that was bad.
Call me back when you can, please.
My text messages aren't going through.
I don't know if it's the service out here.
I'm sorry, okay, I love you.
(drums play)
(message beeps)
Hey, just call me please, please.
Hey, Sofia, it's me, sorry about the other voice mails.
I really don't wanna sound like a crazy person.
It's me, it's Ian.
I just don't even know.
I love you.
Call me back.
I guess I should say.
I don't know if something happened.
Hey, it is your daily call from Ian, day number four.
Sofia, please pick up, please.
It was nothing that bad.
I mean, are we really going to end this over something
like that, come on that's stupid.
Sofia, Sofia, Sofia, Sofia.
(drawer creaks)
Hey, it's me.
It's been nine days.
Voicemail number 127.
I hope it's not that many.
I don't know what else to say.
♪ But of all these friends and lovers ♪
♪ I really ♪
You don't even like "The Beatles," I know.
It still makes me think of you every time.
♪ In my life I loved you more ♪
Call me, please.
(shower runs)
(phone rings)
Hello.
- [Grandma] Hi, honey.
- Hey, Grandma.
- [Grandma] Are you okay?
- Yeah, no, I was just showering.
- [Grandma] Well, that's okay.
I just wanted to see if you got my birthday card I sent.
- I did, I just, I'm sorry.
- [Grandma] Are you sure you're okay?
You always call right away.
I sent it weeks ago.
- Yeah, no, I am.
I should've called, I'm really sorry.
Can I call you back, Grandma?
- [Grandma] It's okay honey, I love you.
- I love you too.
(door bell rings)
(Ian sighs)
(knife cuts)
- [Sofia] Hey handsome, I know this is late.
I know because I'm sending it the day before your birthday
and overnight shipping from Mexico costs a million dollars.
So, you're just going to have to deal with the lateness.
Anyway, by this point we will have spent
an amazing day together, and anything
I can say will be out-of-date,
but know that I love you and I am always with you.
Your Sofia.
(keyboard clacks)
(crickets chirp)
(engaging dramatic music)
(uptempo engaging music)
(announcements in Spanish)
(uptempo engaging music)
(Pilot speaks in Spanish)
(bright engaging music)
(birds chirp)
- [Ian] Gracias.
(Ian sighs)
(door knocks)
(traffic blares)
(door knocks)
Ingles?
- Si.
- Si, si?
- Si.
- Muchas gracias.
(bright orchestral music)
(phone rings)
Hey.
- [Sofia] Hey.
- How are you?
How have you been?
What are you up to?
- I'm just getting home from work.
(engaging dramatic music)
What are you up to?
- I'm...
Just getting home from work too.
- [Sofia] I've missed you.
- [Ian] I've really missed you.
(children chatter)
(engaging piano music)
♪ I could paint you a portrait ♪
♪ I could paint you an ocean ♪
♪ You could say that I've lost my faith in it ♪
♪ I could give you the desert ♪
♪ I could give you the mountains ♪
♪ But I don't know how to make them fit ♪
♪ This could be the real thing ♪
♪ We need a room to find out ♪
♪ If this could be the real thing ♪
♪ And it's too soon to have these doubts ♪
♪ Oh, I will get to you somehow ♪
♪ Somehow ♪
♪ 'Cause it tasted like a promise ♪
♪ 'Cause I feel like a bargain ♪
♪ Would you break it off to let me see ♪
♪ Does it break like a window ♪
♪ Does it break like a spirit ♪
♪ Well at least I tried to make it be ♪
♪ This could be the real thing ♪
♪ But we need to a room to find out ♪
♪ This could be the real thing ♪
♪ And I don't wanna have these doubts ♪
♪ Will you get to me somehow ♪
♪ Somehow ♪