Hey, eddie, you ok?
Yeah. No. I'm fine.
No problem.
Nothing.
Nothing can happen to us on the first day out, right?
That's right. Just like a.I.T.
Right. Just like a.I.T.
Holy shit!
This is it, cal! Cal! Cal!
Where you going? Cal. Cal. Holy shit, cal.
Hey! Hey!
Just like a.I.T, my ass.
Don't push me. Don't. Please.
Bravo company. Bravo company.
This is sierra tango. Bravo company, come in.
Bravo company, we're under heavy shit here.
Bravo company, some-fucking-body come in.
Come on in. Where the fuck you at, a movie?
Holy shit. Bravo, come in.
Hey, eddie. Hey, eddie. I've really got to take a shit, man.
Take a shit? What the fuck's wrong with you, cal?
Take it easy. Will ya? Bravo company.
I cannot stand up and take my pants down. Don't you understand?
Listen, man, just take it easy. Shit in your pants.
It don't matter where the shit falls now.
Bravo company. Come in, bravo company.
I'm outta here. I can't take it. I'm outta here.
Wait a minute. Kowalski!
Fuck you. Come back here.
See you, eddie. Kowalski!
Holy fucking shit!
Kowalski!
Kowalski, there's a spot back here.
Kowalski!
Hurry back here. You ain't got no toilet paper!
There's cover over here, cal.
cal!
Heh.
I, um...
This is embarrassing. Heh heh heh.
Speak english?
English?
Jesus christ, I'm...
My pants. I-I...
Can I put my pants up?
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
Ok? You understand english? Don't shoot!
I'm reaching for my pants.
My pants.
I am reaching for my pants.
Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck the pants.
All right, I understand.
I got you. Come with you, right? Sure.
Hey, look, uh, g.I. G.I. Ok? Ok?
All right. All right.
Ok. Goddamn.
Soul brother, right?
You can kill me, but you can't eat me!
Wake me up for the continental breakfast, asshole.
Hey, send some hot water out of this thing.
Hey.
How you doing, pal?
Hungry?
Check this out.
Hey...
Take a look.
Hmm?
Yeah. That's my old lady.
She's nice, huh?
How about we call you "spike"?
In honor of our vietnamese tet holiday,
Each prisoner will receive an extra ration of rice.
Hey! Captain tai, my man. You're just in time.
My compliments to the chef, sir.
I mean, this shit is starting
To taste like shit. Will you tell him that?
Isn't it time for you to sign the confession, corporal keller?
Oh, corporal keller's gonna wait.
For what?
I'm gonna wait for the rescue.
You don't think they're gonna leave us here, do you?
They have... For 2 years.
Ha.
Ha ha ha! Jesus. Captain tai!
How many times do I have to tell you guys,
I don't like my roaches this way?
I like my roaches sautéed. You know what I mean?
Little butter, little garlic sauce. Sautéed.
No sauté!
Want me to send my recipe?
Huh? You don't know how to fuckin' fix roaches!
You don't think you could get the key, do you?
Maybe shrink me down...
Let me follow your ass out of here?
Hey, spike, tell me something.
Do you get any?
You get a lot, don't you?
Come on.
Fess up.
Getting all the mouse pussy in town, aren't you?
Spike.
My friend.
Hey, look...About those little rat turds, you know...
Think you can take your tail and kinda sweep 'em up in a pile
And take 'em out with you when you leave?
Don't like to see those little droppings laying around the apartment.
You know what I mean?
Knock it off!
The arm! Would you lay off the fuckin' arm, please?!
Get out of my fuckin' life, will you, please?!
Leave me the fuck alone, please?! I told you, lay off the fuckin' arm!
Ahh, you slanty-eyed, seaweed-eating cocksucker!
You motherfucker!
Those bastards.
Yeah, yeah! Get the fuck outta here! Go ahead! Go ahead!
Assholes.
Fuck you lookin' at, asshole?
Why don't you be cool, man?
Hey, look. I got one simple rule, ok?
You stick to your side of the fuckin' cell,
And I'll stick to mine. All right?
Hey, what's eating you, man?
What could possibly be eating me?
What the fuck could possibly be eating me?!
What could it be?
I don't know. Maybe you found out you got the clap.
Let me run something to you, man. Ok?
You don't run nothin' here but your mouth.
I got a friend comes and visits.
I don't want you to fuck with him.
His name is spike. It's a mouse.
My pet.
You touch him, and I'll kill you.
I mean kill you dead.
Hey, I'm sorry.
Welcome to nam, man.
What a hellhole.
silver bells
it's christmastime
in the city
ring-a-ling
hear them ring
Aw, shit.
I thought I was gonna be home for christmas.
Fuckin' nixon.
Man, I was gonna spend my whole furlough riding ol' ginger.
You got a horse named ginger?
My old lady.
Oh. I'm sorry, man.
So am I...
Sorry my ass ain't doing what it does best.
Know what I mean?
I been thinking about old lisa.
Photograph?
My wife.
No shit. I didn't know you were married.
5 years.
Hey, to old lisa, man.
To old ginger.
Here you go.
Mmm.
we're back in the saddle again
back where a friend is a friend
Got that note.
we're back in the saddle again
Cha-cha... Cha-cha. Do it, jimmy. Yeah, baby.
signorina
oh, signorina
faccia bella
ma quest-
ooh-eee
ooh ooh ohh
Captain tai wishes all the american prisoners
A very happy fourth of July.
We congratulate you on your independence.
Morning, captain.
Will you sign the confession?
Oh, shit.
Captain, for a bowl of tomato soup,
I'd sign my name right on the dotted line.
I mean, that pumpkin soup shit
You been serving me for 8 straight days
Is driving me up the fuckin' wall.
You're putting a lot of pressure
On my great italian palate, I'll tell you that.
You are not in command of this camp, sergeant diangelo.
And you, corporal keller.
Mmm, let me see this shit.
I'll sign this fuckin' shit.
What, are you fuckin' crazy?
No, god damn it. We don't get to write no letters.
We don't get to send none. Least I can do is sign something.
Bullshit.
Hey, why don't you fuckin' be cool, man?
You're always starting trouble. These are nice people.
We're trying to get along with 'em, ok?
Fuckin' guy's been here a year, ain't learned shit.
Who is, uh, "mr. Me-off"?
Oh, I forgot to put down my first name.
It's jack.
Jack me-off?
Pfft! Ha ha ha! Jack me off!
Ha ha ha! Jack me off.
jack me off.
Jack me- ha ha ha! Jack-ha ha!
Know what it means, captain?
It means pull your pud, baby!
You really think coming here 8:00 in the fuckin' morning
Is gonna make us do it?! Jack me off! Ha ha!
I love your black ass. Ha ha...Black...
He said...He said... "who mr. Me-off?"
Ha ha ha ha ha!
What? Hey.
Who won the world series, captain?
Hey! Where're you taking him?
Solitary.
It's ok. I could use a little variety.
I'm tired of your ugly face, corporal.
Come on, girls.
Where's the party, huh?
Hey, captain, what the fuck is going on?
Hey, take it easy!
Hang in there, vinnie!
Fuck you.
Vinnie?
That you, eddie?
Eddie, I can't move my legs.
Eddie, I can't walk.
Hey, help, eddie.
Hey, something wrong with him. How 'bout - hey, kid.
Look here.
All right.
Let him the fuck outta there, man!
The fucking guy can't walk.
Let him the fuck out of the box.
You know what I mean?
What's wrong with you, asshole?
My friend's in the fuckin' box.
Hey, vinnie! This asshole wants to play.
Give it to him. Get him good, man.
You want to play, huh?
Let him out?
I kick your ass, and you let him out, right?
It's your ass.
Hey, watch it!
Take it easy.
Take him, eddie.
Go, eddie. Come on.
Ok, baby.
Now you're doing it.
That's right. You do it to him.
Uhh!
Get him, eddie! Get him!
Son of a bitch!
I kicked his ass, vinnie. I kicked his ass.
Cold. Get me blankets.
I'll get you blankets.
I'm a shit-sicle.
Cold. Cold.
Here's your blanket, buddy. Here's your blanket.
Gonna warm your ass up, man, huh? Get y'all all warm.
Secretary of state kissinger said last night
That with a few minor exceptions,
The terms of the peace treaty are basically agreed upon.
Talks continue today.
Hey, did you hear that, vinnie?
Vinnie, did you hear that?
We're going home.
Vinnie?
Oh, man.
Guard!
Get a doctor, man.
I mean, he's turning yellow. Get a doctor!
Vinnie?
Ginger.
Vinnie.
You forgive me, ginger, don't you?
You forgive me, ginger.
Ginger. Bad.
It's bad. Vinnie.
Bad.
Guard! Hey, man. Get a doctor, will ya?
Will you move your ass and get a doctor?
I'll sign the fuckin' confession.
Now, will ya get a doctor?
"and I consider the bombing of the citizens and civilians of hanoi a criminal act."
"I have therefore signed this statement of my own accord,
Without coercion of any kind..."
"because I feel the United States
Has been engaged in an illegal and unjust war."
You're gonna do what you said?
You're gonna get him to a hospital?
I am a man of my word, corporal keller.
I'm only doing what I must for my country.
Gonna be all right, vinnie.
They're coming to take ya to the hospital.
Gonna be good as new.
Where's spike? Did he come back yet?
He came back last night.
Looks like his old lady kicked him out.
Looked real down.
Nobody gets any snatch anymore.
We're gonna get snatch up the yang-yang when we get back, vinnie.
Gonna be heroes.
Parades...
Swimming pools.
We're going home together, vinnie.
We're going home together.
Hey, do you want a beer?
No, thank you.
Fine.
Hey! Cheers!
How 'bout a beer?
Welcome home, guys.
Colonel.
Hi.
My name's colonel powers.
You're keller, aren't you? Eddie, right?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
You're the only p.O.W. We're bringing home this trip.
I understand you're one of the last of the army boys to come out.
How'd they treat you at clark?
Fine, sir. All the steak and potatoes I could eat.
Hey, let's-let's knock off that sir shit, ok?
Well, now, let's see. Where do I start?
Um...Uh...
Hey...The mets.
You remember the mets. The losingest goddamn team in baseball.
Oh, yes.
Well, they won the goddamn world series here a few years back.
That's great.
I kid you not.
The goddamn world series. Ha ha ha ha.
What a world, huh? I mean, jesus.
I know exactly how you feel. I couldn't believe it either.
The goddamn mets.
Well, uh, look, I got some, uh, notes here,
Information on your mother, your wife, your daughter.
I don't have a daughter, sir.
Oh, yes, you do, eddie.
That's right. You don't know.
She was born while those bastards held you in captivity, eddie.
Why, she's almost 6 years old now.
She's a beautiful child.
God, no.
And her name is laurie.
Oh, my god, you're serious, sir.
Yep.
You got the right color?
Gotta be.
Oh, jesus christ. I got a daughter? What's her name?
Her name's laurie.
Laurie. Jesus christ. I got a daughter named laurie.
Jesus fuckin' christ.
How 'bout that beer now, eddie?
Ow! Yeah, I want a beer!
I got a daughter!
A baby. Her name's laurie.
Excuse me. Could I...
Colonel, is it all right?
Oh, sure, soldier, go for it. Which one you want?
Ok.
Um, here's, uh...
To your daughter. To laurie.
My god!
I'm a daddy.
My wife's fine?
Sure.
Ha ha ha ha!
Whoo!
This is it, eddie.
Eddie, eddie, eddie.
How does it feel to be home, eddie?
...The american hero. How do you feel about that?
Ok, eddie. You're home.
Excuse me, sir. Can you do something about all these lights?
Consider it done.
Can you move back a little bit?
These lights, dim these.
Just turn them off, please.
Ok, eddie. Let's go.
My wife and family, sir.
She's waiting inside the hospital, I think, eddie.
My god.
Corporal keller, I want you to know how proud I am
To welcome you to stillwell army medical center, corporal.
Thank you, sir. It's good to be home.
I'll see you all later. Thank you.
Why don't you just say a few words first?
Say a few words, sir?
Eddie, how does it feel to be back?
I-
Jesus christ. Can you say that on television?
Um...I...Feel, um... I feel a little strange.
I feel like I'm on the moon.
Really, eddie, how does it feel?
Um...The experience... I think helped me be a better person.
Heh.
A better husband.
A b-better father.
And...Uh...
I, uh, I don't- I don't hate anybody.
I'm glad to be home.
I could kiss the ground.
Go on, kiss the ground, eddie. Kiss it.
Go on, eddie, kiss the ground.
Kiss the ground.
It's good to be home. Thank you very much!
Paging pulmonary tech number 6, stat.
Pulmonary tech number 6, stat.
Oh, baby. Ah.
Lisa.
I missed you so much.
I love you so much. I love you so much.
I love you so much.
Eddie, uh...
Colonel maxwell would like to talk to you.
There's no hurry.
Take all the time you want, uh...
Oh, lisa...
Lisa.
I'm all right.
Honest, I'm ok.
I know. I, uh...
I just didn't think I was ever going to see you again.
You kiddin'? Not see the father of your baby?
They told you?
I'm a father!
Oh, eddie!
Oh!
Oh, my god, eddie.
Oh, I'm sorry, eddie.
Excuse me a second.
Colonel, whatever happened
To take all the time you want, eddie?
I-I'm sorry, eddie.
But colonel maxwell does have other patients.
He just needs to speak with you...
A few words. I-I'm sorry.
Right now, sir?
I gotta go.
But I'll be back.
Don't go away.
Stillwell military hospital.
Nurses' station.
Dr. Christopher stanton.
It'll only take a moment, son.
Your preliminary physicals from clark
Look pretty good.
Nothing so far but a little anemia
And some badly needed dental work.
But we'll be running more extensive tests,
Starting tomorrow.
Ah, when can I start my convalescent leave, sir?
Oh, a week, 10 days.
Ah, unless there are any unforeseen complications.
Is that it, sir?
That's it, eddie. See you tomorrow.
Thank you, sir.
Eddie, how's everything going? Fine.
Any problems?
No, none at all, sir.
That's terrific.
Hey, the missus.
Absolutely outstanding.
Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.
Well, uh...
Have a nice night, eddie.
Sir? Wait a minute.
You mean I can go?
I got the whole damn night to myself?
You've earned it, haven't you?
Just be back in time for your test at 1200 hours.
1200 hours. Yes, sir.
Oh, no, eddie. It's on the house.
You know what I'm gonna do, huh?
Good night.
Oh, ho, eddie.
Welcome to the ambassador hotel.
Thank you. This is for you, sir.
Thank you.
They're going to take care of our bags, right?
I've got it already, sir.
Let's have pink champagne.
You're beautiful.
I mean it. I never thought I'd see beautiful again...
Or incredible.
I'd just never thought...
Wow!
Eddie?
Eddie, I just- I just love it.
I just love this kimono.
Eddie, it's so beautiful. You're so thoughtful.
It doesn't hold a candle to you, baby.
Oh, eddie.
Eddie, let's go to bed right now, ok?
Please, can we go to bed right now?
Ok, uh, take it easy, all right?
Uh, twist my arm. That's enough.
Yeah. Come on.
Oh, eddie boy, sometimes you can really make me laugh.
I know. Come on.
And I missed that.
You missed laughing? Oh, I missed it.
You didn't miss none of this here?
You didn't miss none of these steps?
Check this out.
Come on. I thought we was going to bed.
Well, let's just have one more drink first, ok?
Ok. One more. Ok.
Here.
No, I'm ok. Ok.
Baby, you all-
Put your arms, up, baby. Put them up.
Come on. Don't die on me now.
You all right?
It went down the wrong way.
Ahem.
I know, eddie.
Let's see if you're on the late news.
Yeah. Oh...
Whoops. Oops. Oh.
Lisa, you a little drunk?
Why do you have to be drunk to be with me?
Because.
Because?
Hey, lisa, you can tell me.
I can handle it, whatever it is.
Ha. Fine.
I'm just... Not sure I can.
Eddie...
Oh, boy.
Eddie...
I think I'm in love with someone else.
I'm gonna be sick.
God, please let me be sick.
Eddie!
Eddie, I wrote you about...Things,
But I guess you didn't get my letters.
Things!
The thing's got a name, ain't he?
Yes, eddie. His name is ray. It's ray.
I don't share the apartment with a girl.
It's ray.
Oh, eddie.
I didn't look to have an affair, eddie.
It just happened.
It was christmas.
It was 2 years ago, eddie.
Bitch!
God!
Eddie, please try to understand. It was christmas.
I didn't look to have an affair. It just happened.
Try to understand.
I didn't say I didn't understand.
I said I thought I was going to be sick.
Ok?
I have heard the worst of it, haven't it?
Eddie, maybe you haven't heard the worst of it.
You know our bookstore?
Well...
Ray always wanted to open up his own place, too, see, but...
He had bigger ideas.
So, we expanded the bookstore into a card shop, eddie,
With novelties, little cards.
And it took us a year, but...
We flopped.
Bankrupt.
But...
All your money, too. And the store, all gone.
all my money gone. That's all.
I'm sorry.
Ooh...Ooh...
We'll pay you back.
We...We...
I swear to god, we'll pay you back.
We... You keep it.
We? We? Who is this we?
Is it that serious?
It's that serious.
Oh.
Do you want a divorce?
Eddie.
I need a couple of hours to think about it.
I mean, I've had a busy day, you know.
I like to take time about the big decisions.
Like getting a divorce.
Now...Don't you worry about your mama, eddie,
She's just gonna be fine.
She's getting better every day.
What? What's the matter with mama? What do you mean?
Oh, eddie. Oh, god!
What's the matter with mama!
She had a stroke.
I mean, it was rough at first,
But she's much better now.
My mama was- mama!
Eddie, this is the name and address
Of the convalescent home where she's staying.
My mama had a stroke. You didn't- you didn't-
Aah! Mama!
We don't want to force psychiatry on any of the returning men.
We-we're only here to be of...
Whatever help we can in getting you back
To a...Relatively normal life.
Do you feel there are any major problems you have to deal with?
I...
I'm sorry.
Oh...
You must be eddie keller.
Yes, ma'am.
Why, you look just like you did on the t.V. Last night.
I'm hilda munson.
Oh, ms. Munson, my mother- I sure-
Oh, she's improving every day, eddie.
Every day.
Now she is so anxious to see you.
She's just out back here. I'll show you where.
You mean, you haven't been paid for 3 months?
That's correct, eddie.
Don't worry about that. I got money coming from the army.
Back pay and bonus money.
Oh, that's wonderful, eddie.
That's just wonderful.
Um, there is, of course,
The issue of the increase.
Oh, starting in 5 days,
That's $1,200 a month.
$1,200?
Yes, and if I don't get the full amount, in the 5 days,
I'm afraid I'll have to make the bed space available.
There's monica.
Eddie?
I'm monica lewis.
How're you doing?
It is wonderful to meet you.
Uh, jesse and I met at work
And we've been best friends ever since.
Eddie, it...
It is gonna be a little hard right at first.
That's why I'm here.
I can understand jesse,
And I-I thought I might be able to help a little.
Mama?
Oohh...
Jesse?
Jesse, it's eddie.
You look nice, mama.
Sh-it.
Shit?
I thought you couldn't talk, mama.
Wouldn't you know.
That's her one good word.
I'm going to find some water for these roses.
She's a nice lady, mama.
Do you like her?
Everything's fine.
I'm in good health.
I really am. I feel good.
And the baby...
Laurie's real big.
And her and lisa, they send their love.
And they miss you very much.
I gotta call them.
Lisa. I gotta call her now,
'cause I told her I was gonna call her when I got here.
No, you wait here. I'm not gonna go away.
I'm gonna come back.
I just gotta make this call right now, ok?
And I'll be right back.
Oh, god.
Hey, eddie?
Eddie?
What exactly do you want, eddie?
Why didn't you tell me about my mother, sir?
I just didn't think the timing was right.
For that matter,
Why didn't you tell me about my wife and her boyfriend?
And the fact that they spent all of my-
Ow! Shit, doc!
The fact that they spent all my money?
What exactly do you want, eddie?
Money, mostly.
Can't you get me an advance?
Well, let me see what I can do, eddie.
"let me see what I can do, eddie?"
Is there some kind of problem?
Colonel, could you please leave the room?
You're upsetting the man.
I-I have to go, eddie.
Colonel! Colonel! I mean it. Is there-colonel?
Hold it. I got it.
Whoops. Tricky little devil, huh?
Eddie, we'll talk later. After the debriefing.
Debriefing? What debriefing?
I've been through all this shit in the philippines, sir.
Don't worry, eddie.
There isn't any question that can't be resolved.
What kind of- oh, jesus christ,
What in the hell's happening to me?
Should I have on some kind of lead stuff or something,
So I-I don't glow in the dark?
I want you to be as specific as possible.
Yes, sir.
So you did, in fact,
Sign the statement?
Yes, sir.
But by that time, the war was practically over.
Were you at all coerced into doing this?
Was there any torture involved?
We realize that every man
Has his own level of tolerance,
His own breaking point.
Jesus, my best friend was dying, sir.
I mean, right in front of me.
Nobody would do anything to help.
I couldn't just let him die like that.
To me, that was torture.
It doesn't take a great imagination
To realize that my balls were in a vise.
Uh, once again, corporal,
Let's review when you first became aware
Of sergeant diangelo's illness
Before he died.
What's going on here, colonel?
Colonel?
Colonel powers, sir?
Do you want to explain that to me?
Eddie, don't worry about all that crap in there.
It's army red tape.
Well, what are they leanin' on me for?
I haven't done anything wrong.
They're paper pushers, eddie, that's all.
Forget it, kid.
What about my money, sir?
Eddie, I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do.
But you said I could depend on you.
God damn it! You promised!
Take your hands off me, soldier.
Jesus, eddie, be reasonable.
The pay orders come from washington,
And they put a freeze on everything
Until after your discharge.
Maybe even longer.
But I need the money for my mother now, sir.
I'm not a traitor. I didn't do anything wrong.
I know that, son. But-
hell, eddie, I'm going to level with you.
We're dealing with army policy here.
Now, you signed that paper.
That's your problem.
I signed. Because I signed a piece of paper
To keep my friend alive,
I'm not gonna get the $5.00 a day I'm entitled to?
Those are the facts,
And there is nothing I can do about it.
Now these issues take time.
My mother doesn't have any time, sir!
Look, I spent 5 years in that hell hole.
I paid my dues. I want what's mine!
What do you expect me to do?
The right thing!
Damn it. Do the right thing.
No.
No? No, no. Yes, yes.
Now I have a checklist here.
But, unfortunately,
I can't even put one check on your entire list.
Do you own a home?
No. No.
Do you own a car? No.
Uh, huh...Do you have any stocks? Any bonds?
Any mutual funds? Anything...
We could laughingly call collateral?
No.
I'm sorry, mr. Keller.
But I-I can't put anything in your file.
I'm afraid you're out of luck.
Thought I was out of luck...In hanoi.
That's where I was outta luck. I'm not outta luck.
I'm gonna make my own luck.
From now on, it's gonna be straight 7s
For eddie keller.
I'm gonna get on top. You understand that?
So shove that in your file,
And put a checklist behind that,
'cause this is my lucky day.
Ok, everybody hold it.
Nobody move.
Nobody gets hurt.
On the floor, all of you.
On the floor.
Not you, soldier boy.
Lady, kiss the floor.
Get down, baby. Get down.
She's down. She's down.
Ok, soldier boy, you're gonna take that bag.
You're going to go behind the counter
And get all the money
Out of all the drawers, you understand?
Ah-eee!
Easy, soldier boy. Just relax.
Now take the bag, nice and easy,
And do as I tell you, ok?
Yes. Ok, go ahead.
Ok, thank you. Cross the counter.
Got it. Move it, soldier.
Nice and easy.
Just stay calm everyone.
That's it. It'll be all over...
Fill the bag, soldier boy.
Fill it, soldier boy.
Let's go. Come on. Let's go.
Fill the bag!
That's all.
Yeah, yeah. That's it.
Good work, soldier boy.
Nobody move for 20 minutes,
Or soldier boy here gets it.
Wait a minute.
Thank you all very much. I love you.
What division, soldier boy?
1st air-cav.
Iron balls hansen? Yeah.
let me hear them clang.
Me, too, bro. 14 months. Purple heart.
And all that shit, man.
No shit? What's the matter, man?
Doing all right?
I'm doing the best I can. Yeah, me, too.
Let's go! Hey, you be good, bro.
Jesus...Christ!
Hit the alarm!
Sound the alarm.
This is sheila daniels, eyewitness news,
And I'm talking to recently returned p.O.W.
And war hero eddie keller.
Eddie, can you tell us what happened today
At the peterson savings and loan company?
Well, about, uh... 2:30...
I was in the bank, I was trying to get a loan
And it got robbed.
I couldn't get the loan,
Because they said I didn't have enough things on my checklist.
Ok, cut it. Cut it...
They have, uh... Dave.
Save it. Sounds ok.
Do you think you can give us the information
On the robbery, ok?
I think that's what the people want to hear.
Oh, I'm sorry. Ok?
Speed.
This is sheila daniels, eyewitness news,
And I'm talking with eddie keller,
A recently returned p.O.W. And war hero.
Eddie, can you tell us what happened today
At the peterson savings and loan company?
At about 2:30, uh, the bank was robbed...
By some men who claimed to be veterans.
Veterans?
Oh, yes, ma'am.
Some of us been having a real rough time
Since we got back.
Uh, I was trying to get a loan.
And, uh, it's been real hard.
Ok, dave, kill this one.
My mother's in the hospital-
Uh, ed...
This is sheila daniels, eyewitness news,
And I'm talking with recently returned
P.O.W. And war hero eddie keller.
Eddie, can you tell us what happened today
At the peterson savings and loan company?
It was robbed.
That's it?
That's it.
This is sheila daniels for eyewitness news
At the peterson savings and loan company.
Thank you sheila daniels, for your on the spot-
Bartender? Yes.
Would you please turn that off?
Sure, pal.
Change the channel or something.
Hey, no problem, man.
Jesus, that was a stupid thing to say.
I mean, you're one dumb asshole,
You know that?
All this military shit is out to lunch.
Yeah, why the uniform? The war's over.
Why did we lose the war, huh? Yeah.
Smokin' a little too much weed out there?
And talk about dumb.
I mean, how do you expect to find any action around here,
Looking like that, huh?
He just found it, schmuck.
And one more word out of you,
And the only action you're gonna get
For the rest of your life is him.
Now, that's right, jack-offs.
So like the poet said,
You just back off.
On the lady.
Oh, uh, would you get her one for me?
Thank you.
Thank you for what you did.
Forget it. I hate stupidity.
You can relax now, you know.
You-you could even take off your tie
And I wouldn't tell anybody.
You know, that's the second time
I saw you on television.
I saw you kissing the ground.
Oh, jesus.
So how does it feel to be a hero?
I thought you didn't like stupidity.
Question was that dumb, huh?
Yeah, it was kinda dumb.
I'm toni donovan.
Eddie keller, toni.
Hi.
You don't-you don't look like a p.O.W.
I don't?
Uh-uh.
What's a p.O.W. Supposed to look like?
Beat up?
You don't look beat up enough.
More stupidity?
So you got back, what... Tuesday night?
Yeah.
That must have been something
That first night, huh?
Oh, it was something all right.
That bad?
Oh, it was worse than that.
Do you want to leave?
With you?
Sure. Why not?
Jim.
Yeah, baby.
Would you tell jack that I won't make it tonight?
Sure, honey. Take care of yourself.
Uh, soldier, listen, how you, uh, fixed for money?
You ok? You got enough?
Yeah, I'm fine. Why?
Well, it's just that, uh,
Toni is one of the most expensive hookers you could find.
You sure you got enough?
Hey, toni, listen.
I, uh... I'm not interested.
Oh, shit. No, I just-
I wasn't even gonna tell-
Listen, if it's the money that you're worried about,
Uh, it-it's my night off.
Toni, you don't even look like a professional.
Oh, I don't?
Well, uh...
What's a professional supposed to look like?
Stupidity on my part, right?
Yeah, a little.
I'm sorry.
Look, why don't we go and have a drink,
Which can't really hurt.
No, one drink.
Well, then we could have another drink.
Now, that might hurt.
And, then, uh...
And-and then you could buy me a drink.
Oh, yeah, and then you could buy me one.
And then we'll be piss-faced.
When was the last time you went dancing?
Why?
Oh, I don't know.
Just wondering.
You make me feel good.
You make me feel like a groupie.
I do?
Uh-huh.
What's a groupie?
How many years, eddie?
6.
How many? 6.
I want every one of them, eddie keller.
I want every one of them.
I can't.
Yes, you can. Yes, you can.
Just don't move, and I'll do everything, ok?
Ohh.
Just relax.
Come on. Give it to me.
Come on. Ohh!
That's the best. I never. I-
Mmm!
Ooh.
Mmm.
Oh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Oh ho ho.
You killed me.
You ham.
Look, I owe you a dollar.
$1.75.
I paid you.75 already.
Ok. You owe me a dollar.
That's right. Cash money.
This is great.
I want your number because I want to see you again.
You could take me dancing, you know?
We had a real nice night.
Why don't we just leave it at that?
Leave it? Are you kidding?
Give me the number.
No, I won't give you my number.
Give me your number. Come on.
No, I won't give you my number.
Ok.
Bye.
It's 555-0731.
555-0731?
Right.
555-0731.
555-0731! Ooh.
555-0731. All right.
Corporal.
Doctor, I can't seem to wake him.
Pass me the hand piece.
Hey, eddie.
Hey, terry. How ya doing?
Listen, this letter came for you.
Where you going?
I'm about to shove off, man. What?
Be honest with me. Tell me how I look.
You look good, man.
Yeah? All right.
Uh, listen...
I don't know. It's been...
It's been real good. Ha ha.
God damn, it's great to be home!
Terry. Yeah?
Don't re-enlist, man.
Ha! No way.
Hang tough, man.
You bet! Whoa!
Hey, wait for me!
Ha ha ha. Race ya.
Come on.
Wait.
Honey, what do you want to do about dinner tonight?
You want me to cook something, or can we go out?
My treat tonight.
We'll go out wherever you want.
Mommy, mommy, can we go out now to the park?
We're gonna take you to the playground.
We'll take the bike with us, too.
Owee.
But first, pick up every single one of those toys that ray gave you.
Ok.
Ok, ok.
I'll help you, ok?
I love you, daddy. I love you.
Everything's gonna be all right, mama.
I love you, mama.
I love you.
I don't have any beer.
Well, what do you got?
Uh...Dom perignon.
Don who?
It's...Foreign.
Well, let me see. Wait a minute.
Ok.
Check this out.
What do you think?
Huh?
Oh, très elegante.
Mama mia, it's a spicy, spicy meatball.
A little je ne sais quoi, you should have been a model.
Hey, now, this is nice.
No, it's terrible.
No, this...
These are feet. This is real nice.
All you gotta do is finish it.
It is finished, eddie.
Oh.
Just drink your champagne and shut up.
Oh, I'm sorry.
See, I wanted to be an artist, but, uh...
Eddie...
Yeah?
What are you gonna do about your mother?
I don't know.
I think the government owes me, you know?
It's gonna take a little time,
But they're gonna pay me.
I've got some money saved up, you know?
I could loan you about $4,000.
No.
It's only a loan, eddie.
No.
Why not?
Because I don't wanna take money from you, ok?
Shit.
Shit. Ha ha.
Why do I always fall for the goddamn pain-in-the-ass losers?
Toni, I ain't no goddamn loser.
No? What would you call it?
I call it that I think you're treating me
Like a fucking charity case.
A charity case?
Yes.
Eddie, I don't go around making loans to customers.
You didn't climb into bed with the united trust bank.
Hey, you didn't climb into bed with no goddamn loser.
Look, eddie, you can't be afraid to let people help you.
People, my ass. The government's people, the army's people.
Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself?
I'm not the government, and I'm not the army, all right?
I mean, the army didn't give a fuck about me.
My wife didn't give a fuck,
So what's some rich beverly hills hooker
Gonna give a fuck about me?
Oh, sh-toni.
Toni.
Toni, listen. Toni, what are you doing?
I'm looking for $200.
If you're going to act like a customer,
I'm going to treat you like a customer.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna get your $200.
I only got 50.
But I'm gonna get the rest, and I'm gonna come back,
'cause I'm gonna pay you.
I'm gonna pay everybody everything, you understand?
I don't know how. The army won't let me work.
But, between you and the army,
I've learned my lesson, believe me.
From now on, I'm gonna take care of number one,
And I'm gonna look out for myself, ok?
Take it easy!
I'd like to get a room for a week.
Sure.
Name?
Um...
Ted segal.
What?
Cheap stuff. Second-rate.
You want quality, right?
Oh, yeah. Quality, that's what I want.
What you want...
Is something like this.
Excellent detail,
Top-grade plastic,
Smooth trigger action.
Don't move!
Drop it. Freeze.
Get down.
get down.
Freeze, baby.
Right on.
All right, this is it.
This is it. Get-don't move.
Sucker. Ha.
You tried to move, baby.
Freeze, jack.
No, just sign the back of the check.
Right here?
Yeah.
Sir, you're next.
Hey, come on, fella. It's your up. Let's go.
Yes, what can I do for you?
S...
Do you want to make a deposit?
S...
Do you want to make a withdrawal?
Uh...Uh...
Oh, my god. How disgusting.
You should be ashamed of yourself!
Yes, sir. What can I do for you?
Is it a gift you're looking for?
No. No.
Is it something for your wife?
No.
Well, what exactly is it then?
Stick up.
I don't believe I heard you.
Stick up!
Get out of here!
You get out of here! You get out of here!
And don't you come back! Get!
Hey, buddy.
Abduct that man! Get!
What's happening?
Get out of here!
You're a bad boy! Don't you come back!
What happened?
Eddie?
Yes.
Eddie, I checked again like you asked.
There's still no word on the money.
Why not?
Well, the army takes a long time
To make up its mind, kiddo.
Eddie, uh...
When are you coming back to the base?
I, uh-ahem-
Still got some problems to work out, sir.
Well, uh, look, kid,
Now, I'm covering for you,
But I can't do it forever.
Well, why not, sir?
I mean, we covered for you guys for 5 fucking years.
Now, listen to me, eddie.
We're talking awol here,
Serious awol.
I just don't want you to fuck up your future.
Then what about the future of my money, sir?
For christ's sake, eddie,
It's the goddamn channels.
Just give it time.
Time?
Colonel...
Yes?
You're talking to a man that don't have any more goddamn time.
Can I have some stamps over here, please?
Sure.
Ho ho ho! Ohh.
Is that funny, or is that disgusting?
Hey, you laughed at it the last time.
I didn't laugh the first 4 times.
I'll see you fellas next time.
Hey, hey, remember ruthie, used to work in savings?
Silent ruthie?
Yeah.
You mean the one whose sister just died of cancer last month?
Yeah. Well, she wasn't so silent for the old tiger last night.
Get out of here.
Hee hee.
She came over to cry on my shoulder,
And I banged her veil off.
Will you stop?
Do you believe this guy?
Ruth polaski, right? Polish ruthie?
Yeah. Hee hee hee.
Hey, and wouldn't you know my wife wanted it Saturday morning,
And I could hardly get it up.
What else is new?
Hey, everyone who got it over the weekend,
Raise their hands!
You're terrible, tank.
Hey, jeanette, remember ruth polaski, huh?
Yeah, well, I got into her mourning clothes the other night.
All the way in.
Listen to this guy.
I don't want to hear anything about her, tank.
It's all a bunch of lies anyway.
She's got your number. You're right.
See you Wednesday.
Yeah. Take care.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
"everybody who got laid, raise their hand."
Honest to god.
I told you we were gonna have a great time.
Hey, wait till you see that margie over there.
Now, let me tell you about her.
Marge, that's another one.
Hey, you want me to fix you up with, uh...
You couldn't fix me up with a set of wrenches, for christ's sake.
I saw that. Nice.
Hi. Lovely, lovely.
These damn tights are raveling on my leg.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Let's get the one with the blond in it, man.
Ok, cool.
See you tomorrow, ralph.
Jesus, my stomach. Lunch sit good with you?
Ok.
Yeah, yeah. Ha ha ha ha.
I think this one's next.
Hey, would you do me a favor?
Would you drop off the cash to margie?
Pick me up in a couple, will ya?
I gotta go take a crap, ok?
Don't fall in.
Yeah. Ha.
Hey, mickey, is that you?
Ha ha ha.
Hey, mickey, is that you?
Hey, mickey.
Freeze.
Oh, shit. Don't shoot, man.
Open this door, man, real easy.
Ok. All right. You got it.
Easy.
All right. Give me your gun.
You got it.
Give me your gun! Here.
Jesus christ, man.
All right, all your clothes off.
Take 'em off and throw 'em out.
Ok, don't shoot, man. I got a wife and 3 kids.
I heard that 3 times this week already, man. Come on!
I'm doing it. Move it!
I'm doing it!
Yeah, well, you're not doing it fast enough.
Come on with the pants.
Holy shit!
What the fuck's this green fog?
Somebody die in here?
Mickey, quick, use your gun, asshole!
On what, asshole?
On me, asshole.
Oh, shit.
"oh, shit" is right, man.
Now, I want you to take off your clothes.
Take off my clothes?
Take 'em off! I did!
Shut up, el stinko.
Get 'em off, man.
Now, get your ass in this stall
And get your clothes off.
Come on. Move it, man!
What the shit is this?
It's a robbery, motherfucker.
Now throw the clothes out, man.
You're making me nervous!
Hurry!
And listen up.
I got a friend outside.
When I leave,
If you don't wait for 10 minutes
And you stick your head outside that door,
He gonna blow it off.
You understand? You understand?
Ok.
Now throw me your shorts.
Our shorts, too?
Yeah, asshole,
The shorts.
What is this, ducks?
It's a gift.
Jesus.
Now, remember what I said about 10 minutes.
You understand?
Right.
You got it?
Yeah, uh-huh.
You stick your head outside that door,
And my friend's gonna start shootin'.
Somebody's gonna get hurt real bad.
You're gonna think you was in a war. You got it?
Yeah. Yeah.
You got it? Yeah. Yeah.
And I want you to get to a doctor, fatso,
'cause something done crawled up inside of you and died.
Whew! God!
Hey, vinnie, I'm coming out!
It's me, vinnie! Don't shoot!
Not now, vinnie! Take it easy, ok!
Don't do anything yet, vinnie.
Take it easy, vinnie!
Who is it?
It's me, eddie. Open up, please.
Open the door.
I just became a winner, toni. I'm a winner!
I'm a big winner.
Eddie.
What?
Eddie, what did you do?
What did I do?
There's $100,000 in here.
$100,000 in cash.
I saw them put it in here, baby.
Wait till I open this up.
I'm gonna show you that long, green-
Toni, what the hell's the matter with you?
I'm talking about I made the big score, baby.
I hit it.
You understand me?
Toni.
Come on.
And when I open this up, baby,
I'm gonna show you some long green.
Wait till you see. Lincoln, jefferson, and washington.
I mean, my favorite white people.
Wait a minute.
Where's the money?
Treasury notes.
They're negotiable. Damn.
20...35...
There's over $100,000 worth of them.
Ok.
Gotta turn this into cash.
Toni. Toni. Come on.
You gotta know some people
Can help me unload this stuff.
Toni, I didn't hurt anybody.
Nobody got hurt.
Did you have a gun?
Yeah, I had a gun.
Was it loaded?
Yeah, to the top.
Eddie, you could have killed somebody.
With this?
You're a thief now. You've made it worse, not better.
But you're gonna feel different
When I change this into cash.
No, I'm not! It's not the money!
I don't believe you, man.
Look, you're gonna end up in jail, in an alley, or dead.
Toni, I'm different.
Oh, yeah. Right, sure. Yeah, you're really different.
Yes! I can take care of my problems.
I don't believe you can take care of yours, though.
I mean, look around.
You whore for a living.
You walked out on me last time, eddie.
This time, I'm walking out on you.
And when I get back, I want you gone.
Yes, he did, I'm telling you.
Yeah, what'll it be?
Uh, beer.
Coming up.
Toni sends her love.
Toni. Oh, yeah. Great girl, toni.
Oh, wait a minute. I remember you.
You're the war hero, right?
Wait a minute. Don't tell me. It's, uh, eddie.
Eddie keller.
Yeah. How ya doin'? What are you up to, eddie?
I'm looking for someone else.
Toni said you might be able to help me.
Toni said that?
Uh-huh.
Well, maybe. I don't know, though.
It depends on what you're looking for. Who you looking for?
Somebody with connections, big connections.
I got something to unload, and, uh...
I need some help. It's a money matter, financial.
I'm not sure I quite understand you.
Big.
Communication is the essence of a bartender's life.
I know one number in nevada.
Guy's name is tommy morelli.
But I gotta level with you, eddie.
You call this number, it's on your head, man.
These are people I wouldn't turn my own mother onto.
Ok.
Beer's on me.
Good luck.
So where's the guy?
Told him we'd be here.
He believed you.
I'm tommy morelli. This is sal.
Sorry to get you guys away from the table.
I like to roll 'em myself sometimes.
Well, let's see what you got, friend. It's your roll.
I like that.
How much total?
200 plus the 10.
80 thou cash, best I can do.
You can do better than that.
We're talking 80,000 cold cash, my friend.
What the fuck you want, pal?
I'm not your pal. I'm a thief.
And I'm selling to thieves. I wanted a thief's price.
Have a nice trip home.
Wait. Whoa. Ah...
50 cents on the dollar, my best offer,
And you can't do no better. Thief's word.
Do we deal?
5o cents on the dollar?
I didn't bring them with me.
I'll have to call you and tell you where and when.
Can you wait 10 minutes till after I leave, and, uh...
I'll call you in a couple of hours
And give you the final information?
Have a nice day.
Hello. Morelli?
Go.
It's the cromwell hotel.
It's room 205.
In about a couple of hours, ok?
It's on the corner of garland and 7th.
Got it. Sal'll be there with the cash.
So will vinnie and I.
Vinnie?
Vinnie's my friend.
See you there.
Jesus christ, vinnie.
What the hell are we doing here?
Hey.
Hey, man.
Anybody been asking for me?
Pops.
No.
I'm serious, man. You sure?
I said no.
You're no help. You know that?
No shit.
Shit.
Jesus.
I fucking blew it.
I, uh...
Be about 5 or 10 minutes, all right?
Right.
205, sal.
Hello.
Toni?
Eddie. Oh, eddie, I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Come on, palo.
I really blew it.
I mean, I fucked up bad.
What are you talking about?
I think there's a couple of guys on their way up here,
And they're gonna kill me.
Hey, eddie, I don't know what the hell's going on,
But get out of there fast. Just run.
Run? That's the best idea I heard all day.
That's just what I'm gonna do, baby.
I'm gonna run my ass right out of here.
Now, good-bye.
Bye.
She's smart.
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
You guys are late. How about I get some ice for a drink?
Nothing for me, thanks. I'm driving.
Hi, kid. Merry christmas.
Well, come in.
I thought your buddy was gonna be here.
What's his name? Vinnie?
He's, uh... Playing it cool.
He doesn't want to be seen, so...
Playing it...Cool.
You know, playing it cool.
He's not coming?
He's not coming, but he's watching.
Thought you was coming alone, sal.
Palo, he's here to watch the money.
It's a dangerous hotel, kid.
Are you nervous, sal?
Of course not. You?
What you got in the bag?
What do you think?
100,000.
Can I see it?
Sure thing, kid.
Now, where's my present?
It's all here, just like you said.
So is this.
I guess that concludes our business.
Any questions, kid?
Yeah, I got one question.
What's that?
Do I get out of here alive?
What do you think, kid?
Palo...
It's a long way down. A guy could get hurt.
You...
You guys...
You 2 guys are assholes.
What do you think, I'm a fucking cheerleader?
Think I didn't see the cars outside?
I saw the van.
I don't understand. I mean, the army fucks with me,
The v.C. Fucked with me,
And now you 2 pricks are gonna fuck with me.
What is this, hump eddie week?
You guys aren't listening to me! I'm telling you-
Ow!
Uhh!
Get...
Get the door, sal. I got him.
Aah!
¿que paso, amigo? Everything all right?
Everything's all right.
You sure?
Ok.
What the fuck is taking so long?
Police department, operator 24.
Help. Please help.
Who is this?
I'm in room 205-I mean 207 of the cromwell hotel,
And I just shot my girlfriend...
And her dog.
I'm gonna shoot myself if you don't get here quick.
Hey, you didn't tell me you was in the army, mr. Segal.
Don't go expecting no discounts, now.
Don't worry.
Checkin' out?
No, I'm just going back to the base for the night.
Some city we live in.
No shit.
Oh, excuse me.
Give me the key to room 207.
What? Why you here?
Come on.
That room ain't even occupied.
Is now, with a corpse.
Your car, would you move it, please?
Please get back.
Officer, I gotta talk to that fella.
Wait a second. See that fella with that duffel bag?
He ain't a soldier. Wait a second.
What the hell's going on?
Somebody's trying to blow up the hotel.
I never did like the hotel in the first place.
Got no class.
Paramedics coming through.
Coming through, please.
Stand back.
Hey, mike, what happened over there?
Hey.
Wait a minute!
Hold it there.
Lady, move the car!
Move it. Move it. Just move it.
Have a nice day!
Jesus christ, you let him get away!
Look at this.
Eddie.
What do we do now?
We take care of business...
And then we take care of business.
You think your father will like me?
I think daddy's gonna get a big kick out of you.
Yes?
Special delivery package. It's marked "urgent."
God damn it, eddie. You did it.
It's come. Ohh!
Monica, we can't have such a noisy porch.
Mrs. Munson, here is your damn money.
Look, jesse, there's enough for the house.
get up
get down
till my poor world is spinnin' round
and it goes so fast
that nothin' lasts, you know
I know a lot, but I don't know what this is
this ain't no way of takin' care of business
there ain't no way of takin' care of business
get up
go on
this is no time to be alone
'cause it gets so long
when dreams are coming slow
I'll have to find me somethin' good to fall in
I'm oh, so good until they put the wall in
baby
you've got to be some kind of hero
just to live the life
that we are livin' now
we are livin'
but guess I'll just learn how
baby
don't be afraid to just let me know
if you need some kind of hero
I'll learn how
here and now
get it
get on
like I know what it's all about
and if you weren't there
I would not care at all
this ain't no time for lovin' it and leavin'
just hold me tight and try to keep believin'
baby
you got to be some kind of hero
just to live the life
that we are livin' now
we are livin'
but guess I'll just learn how
baby
don't be afraid to just let me know
if you need some kind of hero