* Father
* Listen to me
* I'm a lot like you
* I must live my life and live it true
* Like you said you have to do
* Mother
* Listen to me
* There's so much to tell
* It's important that you listen well
* When the pain...
Put me down, you idiots!
(EXCLAIMS)
ALL: (CHANTING) Go, Tomanski!
I'm almost there...
Hey! Hey, Tomanski!
You don't take no crap from no rich kids, huh!
(EXCLAIMING)
Monica, bring home a diploma, or bring home a husband.
The richer the better.
But don't get pregnant.
Have a little more faith in me than that, Aunt Lorraine.
I'm not you.
ALL: (CHANTING) Go, Tomanski!
I'll miss you, Monica.
Oh, I love you, sweetheart.
-You be careful, okay? -Okay.
-Who's your buddy? -You.
Yeah. Who's your buddy?
* Knowing love is all
* I am in you
* And you are in me
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Listen to me
(DOG BARKING)
* Hold me
* I will hold you
* Listen to me while I speak my heart
* You can talk to me
* We're all looking for a place to start
* Where we tell the truth again
* Tell the truth again
* Love me
* Listen to me, life is not that long
* And we don't have time to get it wrong
* Let's believe and let's begin
* Let's begin
* Won't you listen to me
* For we know how we fall
MAN: Come on, Tucker.
I got to get these chickens to the market.
Hey, Pop, (CLEARS THROAT) I got something for you.
You shouldn't spend your money on me.
Hey, come on. Open it up. It's no big deal.
* And you are in me
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Just how good our lives
* Could be
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Listen to me
Excuse me, can you tell me where the administration...
Thanks a lot, buddy.
Excuse me, can you tell me where the administration building...
Yeah, it's over by the ice hockey rink over there.
-Ice... Thanks! -Yeah, no problem.
(BAND PLAYING MUSIC)
TUCKER: Excuse me, uh... Pardon me.
Could you tell me where the ice hockey rink is?
MAN: Yeah, it's over by the pool hall.
TUCKER: Hey, thanks.
(CHEERLEADERS CHEERING)
TUCKER: Excuse me, could you tell me where the pool hall is?
No, but maybe I can recommend a nice clothing store?
-Nathan, you're mean. -Look at his hat!
It's not that bad. He's probably from the south.
Well, I don't know. Look at his haircut.
(ENGINE REVS)
(HORN HONKS)
Hey, surfer man!
I'll see you in the dorm.
-Gar! -Hi, Gar!
How you doin'?
Hey, hey Christine.
I don't suppose any of you would tell me
where the administration building is.
-GARSON: Yo! Master debaters. -That's what I thought.
-Number one. -GARSON: The inscrutable Mr. Chin.
How was your summer?
GARSON: It was all right. How was yours?
Great. Just great.
Come on, guys. Help him with his things.
-Hey, girls. -GIRLS: Hi!
How was your summer?
We have to talk about our summers.
How about some extra gravy with those mashed potatoes?
Can I have some carrots, too? I'm starving.
Anything your heart desires, just ask.
-I'm the man. -I'll remember that.
There you go.
Well, boy, looks like you could use all the fuel you can get.
Hey, man. Thanks.
Better stop giving away the extra helpings.
-The cook's got his eye on you. -TUCKER: Oh, thanks.
-Here, help me with this. -Right.
Okay.
-Oh. -There we go.
Tucker Muldowney, Watonga, Oklahoma.
-Monica, Chicago. -Hi.
Watonga?
Yeah, well, the reason you haven't heard of it is
'cause I haven't made it famous yet.
-I think you're serious. -I am.
See, I'm here on a debate scholarship,
and they only give out two a year, you know?
-Really? -No talking in the ranks.
Dishwasher duty. Move it.
(TUCKER SIGHS)
How may I help you?
TUCKER: Not too many people know this,
but 88% of our congressmen and senators
were all in their college debate teams.
You want to go into politics?
Well, actually, it's my intention
to become the President of the United States one day.
But I don't tell too many people about that.
Of course not.
-So you here on scholarship, too? -You got it.
-What for? -Debate.
You're Tomanski?
You're supposed to be brilliant.
(STAMMERS)
Look, uh, I'm sorry about...
I feel really stupid.
Hey, boss!
My name's Tucker.
Nice guy.
It's gonna be fun.
(MOANING)
(DOOR OPENING)
MIA: Who's that? Who's he?
Oh, boy, uh...
Um, I'm your roommate,
but I can leave and come back later.
No, it's cool. Come on in.
Come on, Gar.
I was almost there.
What's one last orgasm in your life on me?
Next to the threat of war in the Middle East,
-how much does that really matter? -(GIGGLES)
MIA: Well, can't we go back to my room and finish?
You have to finish by yourself.
-I have to meet my new roommate. -(MIA SIGHS)
Hey, uh, Gar...
How about I get Tasha and come back?
-GARSON: Goodbye, Mia. -Tasha?
-Bye. -(MUMBLES).
That, uh... That going all the time?
Welcome to Kenmont.
Tucker Muldowney. Pleased to meet you.
-Garson McKellar. -Hi.
How do you possibly find time to study in this place?
Coach Nichols says you're terrific.
I've been trying to figure out if he set us up as roommates
for your sake or mine.
Are you kidding? You're the best.
You know, I have studied all your big debates on video.
And for a long time, I copied your style
right down to a gnat's ass.
What kind of style do you have now?
Well, I'm kind of working on my own thing.
It's lots of home-spun candor,
my best Southern drawl,
but it's still a long, long way
from your league, believe me.
Oh, is that what you mean by "home-spun candor"?
To me, it sounded like good old false modesty.
You came here to knock me off my pedestal,
didn't you, country boy?
(LAUGHS)
All right.
SCHWIMMER: If at UCLA or Notre-Dame
the hero of the hour is the football coach,
our hero is a man
most of you know simply as Charlie.
I give you
the winningest debater in collegiate history,
the man who has coached Kenmont
to seven conference titles in 12 years,
Professor Charlie Nichols.
(ALL CHEERING)
Whoa!
TUCKER: Coming through. Excuse me.
Sorry.
Hi. Sorry, I'm late.
Atilla made me stay and clean the meat locker.
Tucker Muldowney, Donna Lumis.
-Hey, how you doin'? -Nice to meet you.
(AUDIENCE HOOTING)
Well, it's nice to be loved.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
And I should like to warn you.
A debate, as practice here, is rougher than football.
-CROWD: Ooh! -Meaner than ice hockey.
CROWD: Yeah!
Much more strenuous than wrestling.
(CROWD LAUGHING)
And because women can play at it
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
just as down and dirty as the men,
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
it's probably the scariest, most fascinating sport
on the face of the planet.
-(CROWD CHEERING) -Let's debate.
(AUDIENCE HOOTING)
Resolved. That sex education
should not be taught in our public schools.
-(FEW PEOPLE CHEERING) -Resolved!
That condoms should never be sold
on our high school and college campuses.
-(PEOPLE BOOING) -(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
Resolved. That abstinence is the best way to avoid AIDS.
(CROWD CHEERING)
The affirmative will prove that the institution
best suited to educating our nation's youth about sex
is the family.
(CROWD BOOING)
And when the schools attempt to meddle in these matters,
they are, in fact, promoting promiscuity
and undermining the values of our nation.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
I hate this school.
It's a bunch of Cretans and Neanderthals and boobs.
These have the special reservoir tip.
Who am I talking to? Why am I even talking to you?
Hey. Hey, now, watch this. McKellar is the best.
Personally, I think he's even better than
Lloynd and Shields from Harvard.
So let me understand your position.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Are you telling us that high school and college students
should abstain from having sex?
SUSAN: Yes.
-(CROWD BOOING) -(GARSON CHUCKLES)
So when the hormones start throbbing
and some young adolescent starts feeling, uh...
-Horny! -(ALL LAUGHING)
Okay, horny!
What're you suggesting they do, Susan?
What do you mean?
Choke the chicken,
slap the dolphin, bleed the lizards,
-(CROWD CHEERING) -spank the monkey!
Yes, yes, that's what I'm saying.
If you need to, then...
Masturbate.
(CROWD BOOING)
Susan, do you masturbate?
-(CROWD LAUGHING) -I, uh, um... Well...
It's really none of your business. Do you?
-As rarely as possible. -(CROWD CHEERING)
SUSAN: Mr. McKellar, you are revolting.
I know. Isn't that awful?
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Susan, is abstinence realistic?
In light of the recent report "AIDS In The Year 2000,"
that over one-third of our nation's teenagers
are regularly engaging in sexual intercourse.
You guys might want to read that.
-(CROWD LAUGHING) -Is it realistic when we know
that after homosexuals, intravenous drug users, and hemophiliacs,
that teenagers are the highest risk group for AIDS.
Of course, it's realistic. Nuns do it all the time.
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Uh, they abstain, I mean to say.
But teenagers do not.
Research proves
that teenagers are as sexually inquisitive as they've always been,
and that the only way to protect them
is by giving them information
and providing them with immediate access to protection.
(CROWD CHEERING)
No, no! Wait a moment.
No. This sounds as if he's saying
it's okay for them to be as promiscuous as they want.
No. No, Susan, that's not what I'm saying at all.
All I'm saying is
light is better than darkness,
knowledge is better than ignorance.
And it's our duty, isn't it,
to make sure that the young people of our great nation
don't die?
(CROWD CHEERING)
(WHISTLING)
Hey, you know, Monica, I'm gonna go call my folks.
-Okay. -So, uh, I'll see ya.
My pleasure. Take care.
-Bye, guys. -Bye-bye.
Hey, what do you say you let me buy you a cup of coffee.
-Come on. -I can't. I have to study.
Chicago, what are you afraid of?
I'm not afraid of anything.
I just can't date until I'm sure I can handle the work load.
I'm sorry.
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)
-You were really good today. -Thanks.
You're welcome.
Charlie, please, nobody's trying to put you on the spot here.
We all know how tough the conference is.
My God, Charlie, we finished second at the pass two seasons.
Nobody's implying you have slipped,
but we all wanna be back on top, don't we?
You win the conferences here,
Gar could be debating for a national title
in front of the Supreme Court this spring.
And my media people tell me
there's gonna be national network coverage.
Charlie, you know what that means?
CHARLIE: Yeah, it means your son's face will be known to half the homes in America
before he even goes to law school.
-61.9% of homes. -(LAUGHING)
Senator, listen, I'd kill for a national title,
but I don't think your son can pull that miracle off alone.
We got some terrific kids on scholarship.
Maybe this will be our year, maybe it won't.
Coach, just tell me you believe we can do it.
Charlie, you know we can do it, don't you?
We can do it.
-Good man. -(CHUCKLING)
Charlie, I owe you, uh...
Well, I owe you a big thanks
for taking Gar under your wing like that.
Thank you, sweetheart.
Your son and I are good friends, but, uh,
the last time I looked in the mirror,
-I'm sure as hell didn't see any wings. -(CHUCKLES)
SENATOR: I wouldn't be surprised
if you try to bolter Gar one more time
before he graduates.
I did.
Politics
is a very scary legacy to inherit.
We all try to run from it as long as we can.
CHARLIE: All right.
When I call your name
come down and pick a subject out of this hat.
Be prepared to speak for five minutes.
Remember that we are restricted to a team of 30.
With 15 returning debaters,
that means there's only 15 open slots.
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
"Should criminal lawyers
"defend clients they believe are lying?"
Definitely not.
This kind of personal dishonesty
is destroying the very fabric of the legal profession.
It puts dangerous criminals back on the streets
where they can steal, and rape, and kill again,
but worst of all, it erodes our faith in justice.
Now take the other side.
It doesn't matter if you're guilty or innocent,
you have an inalienable right to legal counsel,
and a lawyer has a duty to provide it.
To take away this right
because some lawyer has come to some personal conclusion
about the guilt of his client
is to deny that person due process of law.
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
All right, Chicago!
I am here today, my friends,
to urge you to bring back public hangings.
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
No, seriously, ladies and gentlemen,
how else are we going to scare our criminals
into leaving us alone, unless we play for keeps?
I can see it.
Hangings on TV, the Friday night hanging of the week.
-Seriously. -(STUDENTS CHUCKLING)
I mean, close-ups on their faces,
-the instant their neck snap. -(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
Cutaways to their children's faces,
extreme close-ups of the spittle drooling
from the lips of the dearly departed. (CHUCKLES)
Now, Hugh, uh, as you can see
the color is draining rapidly from the face and the legs
which stopped jerking spasmodically,
and their eyes have glazed over.
Yes, Barbra, you're right,
but we'll have to wait for the celebrity coroner of the week
to tell us if he's officially dead.
(STUDENTS APPLAUDING)
Ms. Lumis, your resume tells me that in high school
you had some success as a public speaker.
But I should have to warn you that on the college circuit,
we don't give any points on sympathy.
No, I don't expect any sympathy.
All the handicapped I know, Ms. Lumis, thrive on sympathy.
Why should you be different?
Because I don't think of myself
as handicapped or crippled.
This happened when I was eight.
I couldn't sit upright for four years.
-I shattered my hip, man. -Uh, Ms. Lumis...
No, and I was in a full-body cast
for the first year and a half.
And my doctor said I'd never recover any feeling in my leg.
Ms. Lumis...
I lifted weights,
and I worked out with a therapist in a hot pool
80 hours a week, for seven years,
and the feeling came back, all of it.
(CANE CLATTERS)
Be careful...
No, you be careful. I'm fine.
I'll walk again, normally, someday,
and I'll ride a horse again,
and maybe I'll even dance again someday.
So, don't you
or any of the rest of you here feel sorry for me,
because I won't fucking stand for it.
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
What this little piece of paper says
is character is destiny.
Now what that means to this chicken farmer's son
from Watonga, Oklahoma,
is this.
There comes a moment in everybody's life
when they choose their character.
You never know when that moment's gonna come.
It could be when you're 15
or when you're 50.
Let's just say somebody drops a $10 bill right in your path,
and there's nobody there to hold you accountable
but you and your maker.
What do you do?
You pocket it, or do you chase after the guy who dropped it?
Whatever you decide to do in that moment,
you may well have chosen your character for life,
and thus, your destiny.
There was this kid from my school who was so poor
that he had to make his shoes out of old tires.
And his clothes were by that famous designer
Goodwill.
His diet was so deficient,
that he developed rickets
his freshman year of high school.
He took to stealing money
out of payphones and parking meters.
But he got caught one day,
and spent most of his sophomore year
in the juvenile detention facility.
The shrink said he was incorrigible,
but he came back to school his junior year
and pulled the highest marks in his class.
When he graduated, he was snapped up
by one of the best colleges in the country.
Full-boat scholarship, all the trimmings.
Tell me, country boy,
how'd he make this big change?
One dark night,
in a smelly cage full of animals,
he decided to stop listening to all the negative voices
and all the negative people,
and started believing that his own potential was infinite.
-(MUSIC PLAYING) -(CROWD CHATTERING)
-BRUCE: Hey, guys. -Hey.
-Hi. -You were great.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Can I buy you a burger or something?
-Sure, absolutely. -Great.
MAN: All right, everybody, place your bets.
Turtle race is about to start.
Come on, let's go.
MAN: Come on, everybody, place your bets.
Everybody's a winner.
Good shot.
-GARSON: Hey, you guys thirsty? -Yeah.
Mia, Tasha, what is that back there?
Hey, Gar, come back here.
Hey, you want some of this action?
Uh, yeah!
MAN: Midnite Blues, 5 to 1.
Yeah, all right. Put it all on number two.
I'll be at Garson's table.
MAN: Come on, don't be afraid to place your bets.
(YELLING) Go, baby, go!
Atta-turtle, atta-turtle.
There is no commode.
Hey, Charlie was right. You guys are terrific.
I mean, you've got something this place really needs.
Yeah, strong backs.
No, I was going to say heart.
Maybe what you think is heart is just working-class hunger.
Yeah, that's part of it.
(CHUCKLING) You guys are both hungry.
-One question, roomie. -Hmm?
How do you make shoes out of old tires?
It was you, wasn't it?
Come on, did you go to reform school?
Yeah, I did some time. So what?
What was it like?
Look, I really don't want to talk about it, all right?
Okay, I'm sorry, I was just curious.
So, um...
What kind of sports do you like?
Well, actually, my favorite is
killing spiders with the tip of my cane.
-That's a joke, right? -Yeah, that's a joke.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, come on, let's dance.
No, Bruce, you're not paying attention.
I know I came across really ballsy today at tryouts,
but if you're looking for a dancing partner...
No, come on. You said you want to dance again someday...
Yeah, right, someday. Not now.
Whoa. Why are you being so defensive?
I'm sorry.
It's just this whole scene,
all these people, I'm not used to it.
I'm sorry, um, I should've been more sensitive.
-I'm just not used to being around a... -Yeah, right.
I mean, um...
Hey, listen, I don't think this is gonna work out.
Okay? It's cool.
-Donna, I'm sorry, I... -Excuse me.
(SHRIEKING) Ouch!
-(STRUMMING GUITAR) -Yeah, right.
MONICA: I gotta get to the library before it closes.
I've been here only a week,
and I feel like I'm already a month behind.
Oh, talk to me. I've got an English lit paper due in the morning,
and I haven't even started it yet.
Come on, a couple of smart cookies like you two,
should be able to phone it in a pool of "B"s in this place.
No, we both have to pull straight "A"s.
"B"s won't get us a scholarship into law school.
I've got news for both of you.
You start winning the debate, and I can get you names
of 100 firms who'd gladly pay your way through law school.
And they'll make sure you get accepted, too,
regardless of your GPA.
Who are these people?
Political interest groups
who are looking for a future legal partner,
a lobbyist for the National Rifle Association,
maybe even a future JFK.
So, when you're ready to sell your soul to the devil,
you just let me know.
(SNIGGERS)
(CHUCKLES)
(ENGINE RUMBLING)
Where the hell have you been?
I have been creating the new Garson McKellar.
I spent the whole summer at the typewriter.
(GRUNTS)
Read 'em when you can, you know?
-No rush or anything. -Ah.
I got news for you, Gar.
This is gonna be the big year for us.
Charlie, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
I'm not too sure if I should debate anymore.
Oh, God. (SIGHS)
Do I have to put up with this shit every September?
But just listen.
If I really wanna be a writer,
if I really wanna tell my old man to shove it,
I gotta stand up to him right now, right?
Look, your old man is one thing,
debate is something else.
Is it?
Debate is a road straight into law school and politics.
Better I do, the less chance I have
of convincing him I'm serious about my writing.
How do you just walk away from debate?
Because I don't love it like you, Charlie.
What would you say if I told you
that you could be debating
in front of the Supreme Court this spring
on network television,
to decide the first true national championship in 15 years?
That wouldn't excite you just a little bit?
Just a little bit?
No, not really.
What's the issue?
Abortion.
The enemy team's debating abortion, too?
I thought you weren't interested.
I wouldn't mind a shot at Lloynd and Shields.
I'd love to knock those egotistical bastards
off their holy little mountain.
Now you're talking. (LAUGHS)
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)
You guys wanna know the resolution you'll be debating over the next three months?
ALL: Yeah!
I thought you might.
Be it resolved,
that abortion is immoral.
Hey, that's great. It's about time.
Well, this is the year for it.
That's all they're talking about back in Washington.
The Supreme Court is split right down the middle.
-Coach, I'm kinda confused... -Now, there's a surprise.
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
(TALKING GIBBERISH)
No, no, really,
the affirmative is, uh, is against
and the negative is for abortion?
I know. It sounds like it should be
just the other way around.
But the affirmative will be trying to prove
that the Supreme Court ruling,
giving women the right to abortions,
should be overturned.
The negative will be trying to prove
that it should not be overturned.
-You got it? -Yeah.
Good.
What's the name of that ruling?
BRAITHWAITE: Uh, Roe v. Wade.
Very good, Braithwaite.
Now, which side looks like the easier one to defend?
-The negative. -CHARLIE: Why?
Because nobody today,
no educated, thinking people believe abortion's wrong,
only religious fanatics, like my parents.
Uh, I have to disagree, sir.
You know, there are tons of arguments that it's wrong,
and it's not just stuff from the Bible.
I mean, some folks back where I come from
feel pretty strongly that it's a form of murder.
Only shit-kicker conservatives
believe that crap about murder.
(ALL MURMURING)
Oh, yeah? Well, that's just what I am, baby,
a shit-kicker conservative.
-Yeah. -TUCKER: And what are you?
You know, just so women
can have their cake and eat it, too,
they'll go off and kill
millions of little unborn kids.
Haven't you ever heard of pro-life?
Haven't you ever heard of the women's movement?
Yeah, but I wish I hadn't.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Let's divide up the research.
What do you know about...
-Oh. -Edwin Arlington Robinson?
Garson. (CHUCKLES)
Well, I didn't know that you were interested in poetry.
Oh, yeah.
Anybody who can teach me how to be a better writer.
Listen to this. See if it reminds you of anyone.
"Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
"we people on the pavement looked at him.
"He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
"clean favored, and imperially slim.
"And he was rich, yes, richer than a king.
"And admirably schooled in every grace.
"In fine,
"we thought that he was everything
"to make us wish that we were in his place."
It's you. (CHUCKLES)
"So, on we worked and waited for the light.
"And went without the meat,
"and cursed the bread.
"And Richard Cory,
"one calm summer night,
"went home and put a bullet through his head."
Wanna have dinner with me tonight?
I can't. I have to work.
(CHUCKLES)
I wanna know what it feels like
to really care for a girl.
-Take Monica. -(COUGHS)
What makes a girl like that tick?
You're interested in Monica?
She's just an example.
Do you wanna be really in love someday?
Of course. Doesn't everybody?
How will you know it's love and not the usual bullshit?
Well it's...
It's the same way you know if you're steak is good
or if the lobster's fresh.
You trust your senses.
(CHUCKLES)
What would you say if I told you
that I could get us both laid in about 60 minutes?
You know, you're crazy. (SCOFFS)
-You talk about love... -Yes or no?
I have to make a phone call.
Well, I gotta be to work in the next 10 minutes.
Not if I arrange otherwise.
You can get me out of working?
(CHUCKLES)
Hey! Stop you party animals, take me back to that champagne!
-Whoo-hoo! -Yeah!
(ALL SHOUTING)
WOMAN: Oh Tucker, you're so strong.
Put me down.
(SCREAMING)
Tucker, put me down!
Put me down!
GARSON: As my good buddy Dostoyevsky once said,
"Eat drink and eat drink."
-(GARSON LAUGHING) -(SCREAMING)
TUCKER: On the count of three, switch you're horses!
(SCREAMING)
(CHATTERING)
BOY: Are you gonna do it or what?
GIRL: Oh, yeah.
Will you stop it!
Sorry. Little affectionate.
-Back off. -Sorry.
Got excited.
-Professor Nichols. -Ms. Tomanski.
I don't wanna be Tucker's debate partner.
Yeah, well, I don't think I wanna be your partner either.
Coach, you know, we'd probably just end up
debating each other instead of our opponents.
Maybe.
Maybe it'll make you a better team.
Muldowney, you should be the big gun on the affirmative.
Tomanski, you should spearhead the negative.
But I was really hoping you'd team me
with one of the more experienced debaters.
I mean, this way we could be stuck in novice all season.
Look, you place in the tournament,
I'll move you up to juniors.
You win there, I'll bump you up to open.
(MONICA SIGHS)
Now, get out of here. Both of you.
MONICA: Terrific. Now what do we do?
We debate together, I guess.
Hey, look, I wanted a hot-shot partner, too.
Now, I'm gonna have to carry you all season.
Carry me? Nobody ever has to carry me.
-I was joking. -Especially a man.
Why is everything such a political crusade with you?
MONICA: I didn't mean it that way, Tucker.
It's just that I had such high hopes
of getting off to a good start.
Darling, you're off to a great start.
You're with me.
Maybe we can even turn out to be a good team.
Provided we get it straight upfront who's boss.
A joke. A joke.
MONICA: Okay, we have to decide who's second speaker,
and that's no joke.
I should be second speaker
because I've had more debating experience.
I think I should be second
because I'm the better speaker.
Do you honestly believe that?
Hey, I agree, you're great,
but the old wrap-up is my specialty.
I mean, I can always put my audience
right where I want 'em.
This ridiculous.
I can't wait till we start writing our case.
All right, let's compromise.
-You be the last speaker on the negative... -Hi Al.
And I'm the last on the affirmative.
Okay, I guess that'll work.
See, I'm not so hard to get along with.
You just better do you're share of the research.
Hey now, do I look like a slacker?
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, now, what was that for?
Look, nobody said we had to like or respect each other.
And what is that supposed to mean?
If you wanna date the scuzziest girls in the school,
that's your business.
Oh, you heard about that, huh?
(IMITATING OTHER GIRL) "Oh, Tucker, you're so strong,
"put me down. Stop. Oh."
You know, maybe you didn't learn as much
in reform school as you thought.
To me, you still look like a pretty flaky character.
Hey now, just wait a damn minute.
You know, if you would just stop acting like a Vestal Virgin
and go out with me
then maybe I wouldn't have to resort to these
desperate, life-threatening alternatives.
-Please. -I mean, if you look at this empirically,
you'd see that this is all your fault.
I was wondering, what do you do for Garson
in return for his little favors?
* Wop bop a loo bop a lop bom bom!
* Tutti frutti, oh rutti
* Wop bop a loo bop a lop bom bom!
* I got a girl, named Sue
* She knows just what to do
* I got a girl, named Sue
* She knows just what to do
* She rock to the east, she rock to the west
* But she is the girl that I love best
* Tutti frutti, oh rutti
Ooo!
* Tutti frutti, oh rutti
* Wop bop a loo bop a lop bom bom!
* I got a girl, named Daisy
* She almost drives me crazy
* Got a girl, named Daisy
* She almost drives me crazy
* She knows how to love me, yes indeed
* Boy, you don't know what she do to me
* Tutti frutti, oh rutti
Ooo!
* Tutti frutti, oh rutti
* Wop bop a loo bop!
* Ow!
* Oh! Tutti frutti, oh rutti
* Tutti frutti, oh rutti
These aren't clean. Do 'em again, Tomanski.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
So, um, you going home for the holidays?
-I can't afford it. You? -I can't afford it either.
I wish I could just fly away from here,
do nothing for two solid weeks,
except be irresponsible.
Uh, hey, since we don't have to work dinner, um,
maybe you wanna come over to my place afterward?
I thought maybe we could order in a pizza
or, uh, listen to some music.
You've never seen our room. It is like a five-star hotel.
Oh, you'll love it.
Well, what do you think?
This here is our computer. It cost about five grand.
And this is the sound system, cost about another five grand.
And, um, right over there is the life cycle.
Cost about two grand.
Here you go.
Is that your champagne or his?
What difference does it make?
It's his, of course, but he doesn't care.
How do you know? Did you ever ask him?
No, but he could've said something anytime.
He likes to share his things, it makes him feel good.
Did he say that?
No, but you can tell he gets off on it.
We'll have to pay him back.
I won't drink any of this unless you agree to pay half.
Are you out of your mind?
You know, a bottle of this stuff runs over 20 bucks.
If I don't teach you anything else in this life, Muldowney,
I'm gonna teach you this. Now, come on, cough it up.
Come on, dig real deep.
-(SCOFFS) You're serious? -I'm serious.
-You're serious. -Yes.
Oh, I can't believe this.
-And $10. Here you go. -Yes, yes. Good boy.
Believe me, you'll feel a lot better for doing this.
No, I won't. That $10 was for the pizza.
We'll manage. Now, what shall we toast to?
Oh, I know!
To being the number three team on the squad.
Well, couldn't you come up with something
a little more romantic?
Live with it.
-Monica. -Uh...
(SIGHS) Why won't you go out with me?
Told you, I have to put my studies
ahead of everything else.
You sure it doesn't have anything to do with Garson?
What do you mean?
Well, for a little ol' gal
from the south side of Chicago,
that would seem like a much better catch
than some poor chicken farmer's son.
You really have a chip on your shoulder, don't you?
Hey, how am I supposed to feel?
Okay, okay, if it isn't Garson, then...
Then why are you so standoffish?
I mean, look at you. You're sitting so far away.
I'd have to mail you a letter just to make contact.
I'm like this with everyone, Tucker.
I know, but, but why?
I mean, did I do something? Why?
Because that's who I am.
Listen, I knew this was a mistake.
Have a great Christmas break, Tucker, okay?
Damn!
(SHOUTING) What? Huh? What? What do you want?
(MONICA SNIFFLES)
How about just a simple hug, Chicago?
You look like somebody who needs one.
Yeah, well, knowing you,
there's got to be a trick in there somewhere, right?
Trust me.
This place is so hard.
Sometimes I think I'm not gonna make it.
Of course, you're gonna make it.
You're just tired, that's all.
How much you're working on
with about five hours of sleep.
-That's what I think. -Four.
Unless that boy on the first floor
is working on his lats,
I'd say you're shaking.
(SOBBING) Shut up, okay? I'm sort of liking this.
Oh.
I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?
Oh, no, you didn't interrupt anything.
Tucker and I were studying. Um...
We borrowed a bottle of champagne
but we wanted to pay you for it.
So, here, and I'll...
Forget about it. I'm glad you're here.
I was just heading home in a couple of hours.
How would you guys like to come spend the holidays with me?
(TUCKER AND MONICA CHUCKLING)
Is that a yes?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
* Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while *
TUCKER: Hey, how fast we going? GARSON: 80.
At 95, the turbos will cut in and she'll lay rubber.
Don't you dare!
-(WHOOPING) -Oh, man!
Oh, man, if my dad could see me now.
Hey, I don't suppose you let anybody else drive this, do ya?
-You could drive it. -Yeah?
You're not serious, are you?
-Yeah, I'm serious. Chickenman can drive. -(TUCKER EXCLAIMS)
Yeah, the Chickenman can drive.
* Can you imagine when this race is won?
* Turn our golden faces into the sun
* Praising our leaders, we're getting in tune
* The music's played by the, the madman *
TUCKER: Ah.
-MONICA: Are you nuts? -I trust the Chickenman.
Yeah, he trusts the Chickenman. (LAUGHING)
I'm gonna walk.
You know, I like walking down the beach...
-Sit down! -Sit down!
* Forever, and ever
-* Forever young -(TIRES SQUEALING)
* I want to be forever young
* Do you really want to live forever?
* Forever, and ever
* Forever young
* I want to be forever young
* Do you really want to live forever? *
Merry Christmas.
MRS. MCKELLER: Hi, Merry Christmas.
-(KISSES) -MRS. MCKELLER: Good to see you.
Meet some friends of mine, Monica and Tucker.
-Hi. -Nice to meet you.
SENATOR: Monica, Tucker.
-Hi. -MONICA: Hi.
SENATOR: Well, you two look like the real thing.
Gar used to bring home such phonies.
-(LAUGHING) -Thank you, Dad.
Well, thanks. You've got a beautiful home here.
Reminds me a lot of my own.
Really? What are the similarities?
Exact some color.
* Forever young
* I want to be forever young
* Do you really want to live forever? *
I'll tell you who the best President of the United States was.
Harry S. Truman.
Now, nobody owned him.
-He gave the finger to... -Harry did that?
Uh, excuse me, ma'am.
Talk to me just as you'd talk to any other man, Tucker.
(MONICA CHUCKLING)
Well, he gave the finger
to all the special interest groups.
The Unions, Congress, everybody.
His only allegiance was to the people.
So, um, is either of you
considering a career in politics?
I am, sir.
(CHUCKLES)
What about you, Monica?
Well, I never gave it much thought, ma'am,
but I see now that I might have to go into politics
to save the world from him.
(SENATOR LAUGHING)
Gar, looks like you got a little competition.
Dad, I'm sorry,
but I don't want to follow the family tradition.
I wanna start a whole new tradition.
I'm writing a play.
It's sort of a comic expose of political life.
My plans are, if Charlie likes the work,
I'm dropping out of everything.
Tennis, student council, debate.
I'm concentrating totally on my writing.
CHARLIE: If you draw a judge
who has just lost a child to leukemia,
-what do you do? -STUDENTS: Make him laugh.
Right.
If you draw a judge who's flirting with you,
what do you do?
-STUDENTS: Flirt back. -Right!
If the judges are members of the John Birch Society,
what do you do?
STUDENTS: Wear a flag and rebel.
This is the way debates,
matters of the heart,
and unfortunately, general elections are won.
Where's Garson?
Uh, he's with his dad.
Um, we have one for the computer.
How do you sell abortion to a Catholic judge?
CHARLIE: Let me tell you a story.
Before Roe v. Wade,
if a young lady found herself in the family way,
she had to resort to the lowest and seamiest people in her life
to find a back-alley abortionist.
My mother had a back-alley abortion.
She was 19.
She went to a filthy hotel on the wrong side of town.
The sleazebag doctor met her there. He said,
"Take off your dress. Drop your pants."
Then he laughed and said,
"If you hadn't dropped your pants in the first place,
"this wouldn't have happened."
Then, he said, "I want my payment in advance."
Naked, my mother walked in front of him
over to her purse.
Got the $1,000 out of it, and handed it to him.
Then, he said,
"How would you like to make $100 back?"
My mother said, "What?"
He said, "Just come over here, and kneel down, sweetheart,
"and make an old man happy."
My mother was repulsed.
She said, "Just take care of it."
So, he put her up on a wooden table,
and he took a long, cold instrument
and shoved it up into her uterus,
and began scrapping out the fetus.
Blood spurted out all over her.
My mother thought she was gonna die.
When she arrived home,
after two hours on a bus, she had lost so much blood
that they had to rush her to a hospital in an ambulance.
But she was lucky.
She lived.
I was lucky.
She lived long enough to give birth to me.
But, in the '40's,
the law was perfectly willing
to slap her into jail for 20 years,
for participating in this.
Except for the relative that told me,
she never told this story to another soul.
Um, excuse me, I don't understand.
How do you sell abortion to a Catholic judge?
Tell 'em the story of your mother.
BOY: My mother never had an abortion.
Neither did mine.
(STUDENTS APPLAUDING)
SENATOR: You think I didn't have dreams of my own?
I was a damn good musician in those days,
but my father said to me
the same thing I'm saying to you.
"Michael," he said,
"We have a responsibility as a family, to this country.
"That's why God gave us all these blessings."
But I'm not like you and Grandpa.
SENATOR: Thank you, sweetheart.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Look, Gar, you're a thoroughbred, son.
You're coming out of the gate.
Now, you take this dream of Grandpa's,
this McKellar dream,
and you bring it home.
You owe that to your family,
to your generation,
to your country.
Did you read any of my stories that I left at Christmas?
I don't need to.
Your mother read 'em. She said they were fine.
(CHUCKLES)
What do you want?
You want me to make a phone call
and get them published?
You wanna have a play on Broadway next year?
Dad, stop patronizing me.
Well, I'll do whatever you want,
but you gotta do what I want, too.
That's called manhood.
* Yeah!
(MAN VOCALIZING)
(HORN HONKING)
* Far in the sky, it don't matter
* It's all just a state of mind
* Rise up the weight of the world
* And drag it down your side
* Write up a list of your violence
* They're gonna toss it to the ground
* Oh, tomorrow
* Opening the river's run
* Come on, the night is still young
* If we can't do it, it can't be done *
SCHWIMMER: Charlie, you know how much money
the McKellar family gives to the school each year.
Or how much winning
a National Debate Championship could bring in?
Suppose... Suppose the play is brilliant.
You're not gonna let him quit.
Just listen, Schwimmer.
We're not supposed to be programing these kids into some mold
that you or I with the family think that they belong in.
I'm just telling you,
if there is any merit at all in that play,
I am going to let him quit.
Do it
and even you're tenure won't protect you.
Now what's that supposed to mean?
What it means is, I want that boy debating!
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
-How is it going, Dostoyevsky? -I just finished it, Charlie.
You gonna love it.
Hmm.
Ah, thank you.
Mmm.
(LAUGHING)
-Kid, behave yourself. -I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
(GRUNTS)
So what do you think?
Why do I get the impression
you are gonna base a life-time decision
on what I think of this play.
It's good, isn't it, Charlie?
But if I say I love it,
would you quit debate?
Maybe.
Then how do you expect me to be honest?
Because you're my friend.
I got to get out of trap before it's too late, Charlie.
If we win the conference and go to Washington
and my old man's machine cracks into action,
it's gonna be too late.
Is that play good or isn't it?
The way you've been acting,
it's like you are afraid to tell me that it stinks.
Am I kidding myself with this, Charlie,
or do I have a chance, huh?
Tell me.
You ask too much of me.
Make your own decisions.
(DOOR OPENING)
(DOOR SLAMS)
I think it's only fair to warn you up-front
that my partner and I often disagree.
That you watch,
we usually end up debating each other,
instead of our opponents.
Oh, and it gets very entertaining.
Just last week, at the Berkeley tournament,
she tried to gouge my eyes out with her fingernails.
-(CROWD CHUCKLES) -See the scratches?
Tucker can be very charming, I'll give you that.
But if you listen closely,
when it's time for his rebuttal, you'll see.
He'll give you his best Okey drawl,
two down home homilies, pile of BS.
If he gives you so much
as one piece of documented evidence,
-I'll eat my shoe. -(CROWD CHUCKLING)
The affirmative argue that the fetal viability standard,
presented in Roe v. Wade,
is on a collision course with itself.
There are three reasons why this is false.
One. Doctor Alan Fleischman,
Director of Neonatology in New York City's
Montefiore Medical Center,
stated that even at the most sophisticated hospital,
babies born before the 24th week
have no chance of survival.
I would argue, two.
Time magazine reported on July 6th 1987, page 83,
that fewer than 1% of the 1.5 million abortions
performed in the United States each year
occurred after the first 20 weeks of pregnancy.
And finally, three. Janet Benshoof,
Director of the Reproductive Freedom Project
of the American Civil Liberties Union,
concluded that Roe v. Wade
is not on collision course with itself.
-Well, wonders never cease. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
They are all kinds of abortions.
Any time life and freedom are cut short,
it's an abortion.
It doesn't matter, if you're in the first trimester,
or the second trimester,
or if you're 22 years old.
Anytime a human being denies another human being
the right to life,
liberty,
or the simple pursuit of his own special dream,
it's an abortion.
And it's an abomination in the eyes of God!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
My duty on behalf of the Cross Examination Debate Association,
to award this year's national title to
Kenmont College.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Coach! Coach! Coach!
Thank you. Thank you very much.
We have just learned that over at Princeton University,
about an hour ago,
the NDT title was won by Harvard University.
So that means it'll be
Lloynd and Shields versus Chin and McKellar
at Washington.
(CROWD CHEERING)
WOMAN: Excuse me...
WOMAN: Taxi.
Hey, I got an idea.
What you say we unload this stuff
and take a subway to Times Square?
Come on, we'll celebrate.
It's late.
Well, then let's go up to bar on the roof
and dance for half hour or so.
Take it easy, guys.
-Good night. -See you later.
-Tuck, bye. -Good night.
(MONICA SIGHS)
What was that for?
For not giving up.
Good night, Tuck.
(SIGHS)
Hey, lady, you ever heard about lifting cars?
You know, that I lift cars every damn night
waiting for you.
What does that mean, "lifting cars"?
Ask any guy.
Hey, what do you mean by about "not giving up"?
It's me, okay? It has nothing to do with you.
I'll see you at breakfast.
MONICA: You look beautiful.
Thank you.
What's wrong?
Bruce wants me to meet him up at the roof
to watch everybody dance,
-and I'm scared. -Why?
Because I don't know what he expects from me.
Maybe he doesn't expect anything.
Maybe he's just in love with you.
Maybe that's what I'm scared of the most.
-You want to come with me? -(SIGHS) I am too tired.
Besides, I didn't bring anything else to wear
except my debate clothes.
Well, if you change your mind
then you can use anything in my closet.
Thank you.
Here goes nothing.
Wish I had half your guts.
Oh, believe me, I wish I had half my guts.
(CHUCKLES)
Donna, I was wondering,
what did Tucker mean when he said
"lifting cars"?
(LAUGHING)
Um, he meant that he is dying of terminal horniness.
Guys say that they lift cars
to relieve the ache in their balls.
Oh!
Oh. (CHUCKLING)
Bye.
(CHUCKLING)
* Around your love
* I wanna go where no one's ever been before
* I'm satisfied this...
-Want to get out of here? -What does that mean?
You know what that means.
Sorry.
Hey, Nath!
How about letting me dance with Susan, huh?
-It's up to her. -I'd love to.
What?
You said I could dance with anyone I wanted to.
Within our species.
Bruce, if you want to dance, go ahead and ask anyone.
It's okay.
Go ahead.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
May I have this dance?
Don't you ever hear anything I say to you?
I can't do this! I can't dance!
Bruce, what are you doing?
(CANE CLATTERS)
Donna Lumis...
I love you.
Aw. (LAUGHING)
DONNA: I love you.
(LAUGHING)
* The feel in the air gets tighter
* The fire in your eyes gets brighter *
(GRUNTING)
* Nobody's better Making it look easy
* You're slowly driving these boys crazy *
(GARSON CLEARS THROAT)
Garson, hi. Have you seen Tucker?
-No. -(MONICA SIGHS)
Look at you.
Do you want a drink?
Okay.
This is a Cordon Bleu. Would you like to try some?
Sure.
-Whoa! (CHUCKLES) -(COUGHING)
You have to take it easy with that stuff.
Oh. Ah, that's good. Can I get another one?
Could I have another one?
She's the boss. Two, please.
So, uh...
What's with you and Tucker anyway?
You two getting it on?
Tucker and me? Be serious.
You sure about that?
Why should it matter to you?
Whoa, hang on. I'm asking the question, here.
Oh.
So if you're not into Tucker
then what's the deep, dark reason
why you never go out on a date?
Garson, I've had enough cross ex for one day.
How would you like it if I asked you
why such an intelligent man, as yourself,
dates such shallow people?
No, I don't mind answering that.
It's because I don't know
the first thing about real love.
All I've ever seen are abortions of love.
Love of power, the love of money.
Hasn't anyone ever dated you for you
and not all that other stuff?
(CHUCKLES)
Well, if they were that way when they walked in door,
they sure didn't leave that way.
You see, I have this incredible knack
of bringing out the worst in people.
-Nice quality. -(CHUCKLING)
Now you.
Why do you work so hard
to hide this beauty from the world?
Well for one thing, I'm not a big exhibitionist.
Oh, no, you don't.
The affirmative is convinced
that there is more to it than that.
Resolved. Some boy hurt you.
You tell me what his name is and I'll break his kneecaps.
You're wrong. No boy ever hurt me.
Then who did?
Garson, would you like to dance?
-Sure. -Okay.
* Every woman here can see Every man would kill to be
* Who's gonna love you tonight
* Who's gonna love you
* Who's gonna love you tonight
* Who's gonna love you
* Who's gonna love you tonight
* Every woman here can see
* Every man would kill to be
* Who's gonna love you tonight
* Who's gonna love you tonight *
Uh, do you want to come in and listen to some music?
It's after 1:00, and we have to catch a plane tomorrow.
Come on, Tomanski, would you just relax for once in your life?
(LAUGHING)
If I get any more relaxed, you'd have to carry me into my room.
Okay. Just for a little while, all right?
Just for a... Just for a little while.
Okay. (LAUGHING)
Garson, it's really late,
and I'm feeling kind of dizzy from those cognacs.
Relax for a bit, you can leave whenever you want.
Okay.
Look at you. What are you afraid of?
-It's just me. -Oh, I know.
It's just, um...
I feel like I shouldn't be here, I guess.
Why, 'cause you afraid you might want to seduce me?
No.
Well, you don't think I'm out to
seduce you, do you?
I don't know, are you?
No, but I want to know you better.
What I said to you upstairs was true.
I know absolutely nothing
about how to relate to nice girls.
Girls that don't always want something from you.
But you like me for me, right, Monica?
Of course.
I got to get to bed. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
Wait, there's so much on my mind right now,
don't leave me yet, please.
What is it, Garson?
Monica, I feel so trapped.
You know, I wish I had your confidence or Tucker's,
the way you guys both seem to know
exactly where you're going.
Maybe you see things in Tucker and me
that aren't really there.
No.
You see things in me that aren't really there.
You going to way beyond anything
I ever did at debate, Monica, I'm sure of that.
That's very sweet of you to say.
I hope you're right. (CHUCKLES)
I got to go.
Wait, Monica.
If I had someone like you who believed in me,
it would be so much easier.
Garson, you are hurting my arm.
Wait, Monica, wait.
What do you want?
I've given you the wrong impression.
All I want is a friend.
I'm not coming onto you, Monica.
Garson, you are drunk.
No, I'm not drunk.
(MONICA GASPS)
(SOBBING) Let me out.
No. Not until I'm sure you understand.
There's nothing to understand.
We both just drank too much, okay?
Then why are you running away?
Because I'm afraid.
So am I.
(SOBBING) I want you, Monica, I need you so much.
Stop! Oh God, let me out!
-Stop! -What the hell's the matter with you?
-Stop it! -What have I got to do with you?
-Help me! Somebody help me! -Shut up!
Monica, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.
-I'm sorry. -(SOBBING) Don't touch me.
-Please, don't touch me. -I'm not going to hurt you.
Wait, let me get a washcloth.
Oh, God.
Monica!
Hey, Monica?
Monica?
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
(SCREAMS)
-Monica? -(SCREAMS)
-Help me! -Hey, hey, it's okay.
It's me. It's Tucker.
-Oh, Tucker. -Easy, easy.
You're going to okay. Calm down.
You're all right. You're okay.
Here, take my coat.
Hey, you kids okay?
Yeah, how much to Tearton hotel?
Our minimum's $40.
Okay, that's fine.
Monica, what happened? Who did this to you?
It's going to be all right.
Come on, I'll help you to you room.
I really want to be alone, okay?
I got to go, all right.
Hey, my 40 bucks?
Thanks.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Garson, I want to talk to you.
Hello, country boy.
I'm just here having a drink with my buddy Dostoyevsky.
What did you do to her?
Now there's a writer.
His family tried to force him into being an engineer,
and he said...
What did you do to her, man?
Hey, what she do, make up some story?
Monica never made up a story in her life, and you know it.
So now what happened, damn it?
Nothing happened, all right?
Why don't you just settle down. You want a drink?
No.
Look, I don't want anything from you,
I just want you to be straight.
I'm being straight!
Nothing happened, all right?
We had a little misunderstanding.
That girl's got real problems. You know, she imagines things.
So what did she imagine?
She's crazy, all right, Tucker?
She actually thought that I was trying to rape her.
Can you imagine that?
Me, the next President of these United States.
-(CHUCKLES) -You bastard!
WAITER: Hey, stop. Stop!
Both out of here. Get out!
Cool down...
-Get out of here. -Stay out.
You snake! You're not a friend.
You're just like every other rich asshole in this world.
You use people like us for kicks.
Don't give your poor-boy bullshit.
I never did for any friend in this world,
and you took it to use me every chance you got.
That's a lie. No, I didn't!
Don't tell me you don't go home at night
thinking of ways that I could help you
in your political career.
I think Monica was right.
I overestimated you, Muldowney.
You and your smelly cage full of animals,
you're full of shit.
-Get out! -(HORN HONKING)
All right, I bought into it.
Like everybody else, I wanted to be just like you.
I wanted to have it all.
Did it ever once occur to you
that maybe I envy you as much as you envy me?
Did it?
That's crazy, man. I don't have shit.
No, you're wrong, Chickenman.
You've got it all, but you don't even realize it.
I'm the one who's got shit.
Outside of Charlie Nichols
there's not a single goddamn person in this world
I can trust.
Well, you can't even trust him, homey.
What are you saying?
Your beloved Charlie Nichols,
he's been controlling you for years.
Your father has been using him to keep you in line.
You're lying!
Bastard, I'm going to kick your ass.
(HORN HONKING)
Tuck, look out.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Garson!
Oh, God! God help me.
Somebody get an ambulance!
Get an ambulance!
Don't die.
Garson, don't die.
CHARLIE: No.
Jesus!
Garson.
CHARLIE: The Dean is issuing a formal statement of default
to the NDT today.
I said that was all right with me,
but I wanted to talk to you first.
Why us?
The rules say, if the first team can't go,
the second team takes its place.
That's you.
You beat out Gore and Hooper by one point in New York.
We never debated open, we wouldn't stand a chance.
TUCKER: Ah, come on, we don't deserve to go.
I shouldn't even be alive.
We're not Garson and Chin.
Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
That's a lot of crap.
What if I told you you were better than Garson,
and he knew it.
You the best freshman team I've ever coached.
You're not saying we go to Washington.
I mean, those guys...
Those guys have debated together for last eight years.
They've won the NDT title for last three years straight.
So what?
Let's get something straight about Garson, too.
I know you loved him as much as I did,
but he wasn't a God.
He was just a kid
wanting to live out his own dream
and nobody would let him, especially me.
That's my problem.
Your problem is,
are you going to cut short your own dreams,
just quit,
default to Harvard,
or try to live up to the potential
that Gar saw in you, and put up a fight?
I thought the Dean was planning on defaulting us.
You face-up to your fears
I'll face up to mine.
What do you say, Tomanski?
What's it going to be, Muldowney?
What you got to lose?
(MONICA SNIFFLES)
-Okay. -All right.
Good.
Good...
Miriam, ring me as soon as the NDT call comes through.
They don't want to quit Wilson,
and I don't want to quit either.
(PHONE RINGING)
You pick up that phone
and I'm going to shove it right up your pompous ass.
I'm asking for investigation into this mess,
and it's going to cost you your professorship!
-Who cares? -(PHONE CLATTERS)
I'm going to tell the whole world
how we kept that kid captive here,
how we took away his God-given freedoms
-for our selfish motives. -Not me.
Oh, not you. Oh, no.
What happened is New York was your responsibility.
Everything I've ever done
I've done for the good of the school.
Bullshit!
You and I killed that boy.
And I'm going to be around to remind you of that
every time you look over your shoulder.
All right, go ahead take them.
-Send the freshmen. -I'll do that.
But you know as well as I they don't stand a chance.
Don't be too sure of that!
REPORTER: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
We're in an anteroom to the Supreme Court
for the first true
National Debate Championship in 15 years.
Judging today's debate are five of the nine-members
of the Supreme Court of the United States.
Representing the NDT, the National Debate Tournament,
Harvard College.
Representing the CEDA,
the Cross Examination Debate Association,
Kenmont College.
Call it, Kenmont.
Uh, heads.
Tails.
Harvard, do you wish to debate
the affirmative or the negative?
Harvard will debate the negative.
CHARLIE: Your flying low won't do any good.
Oh, jeez! I went on television like that.
MAN: All rise.
Be seated.
Kill 'em.
All right, here we go.
These Harvard boys have egos bigger than their brains.
Feed those egos, don't fight them.
Maybe we get them to lower their guard a bit.
Okay, let's kick ass.
Let the debate begin.
(AUDIENCE CLAPPING)
Go Kenmont! (HOOTING)
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
The affirmative will prove
that abortion is neither legally,
nor philosophically justified.
Legally we will argue that the Supreme Court's proper role
is to uphold and interpret the constitution.
Not arrogantly legislate their private moral views into law,
as they did in Roe v. Wade.
Besides, condemning judicial activism,
we will also argue that
that this decision has promoted
sexually irresponsible behavior,
by making abortion so accessible and morally sanctioned,
that it has become our nation's
main form of birth control.
Philosophically, we will suggest that abortion is a cancer,
eating away the moral fabric of this society
and that it places unfair responsibilities on women.
But before I continue,
I'd just like to say on behalf of my partner and myself,
that this is the greatest honor of our lives.
To be standing before you esteemed ladies and gentlemen
of the highest court in this land.
And to be debating the renowned Harvard team
of Lloynd and Shields.
We expect to learn a great deal
from you today, gentlemen.
-Tell me, Miss Tomanski. -MONICA: Yes.
Would you deny an abortion to the victim of incest or rape?
To a woman whose life or health were in danger?
Absolutely not.
We are simply saying that Roe v. Wade is unjustified
because it is improper for the Supreme Court
to create laws.
That's why we have legislatures.
Have you offered these judges any evidence
that all 50 states
would grant women their right to abortion?
How could I? There's no way of knowing for sure
what each state would do.
The Washington Post has stated,
"The returning the regulation of abortion back to the state,
"would result in bitterness and divisiveness,
"legislative struggle, litigation,
"women forced to long distances for legal abortion.
"And poor people forced into having
"dangerous back-alley abortions."
You have the counter evidence to these conclusions?
I have one last question, Miss Tomanski.
You claim that you support a woman's right to abortion,
but that it should be voted on by the state, right?
Right.
If you are so willing
to let a male dominated state legislature,
vote on whether or not you have the right to abortion,
will you let them vote next year on whether or not
you have the right to free speech?
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
No more questions.
Before Roe v. Wade, there were only, uh,
98,000 illegal abortions
performed in the United States.
Now, compare that with the current rate of
1.5 million legal abortions per year,
and you can easily see that that would leave us with
1.4 million babies that could be adopted immediately.
We'd like to know the source and date
of those statistics, Mr. Muldowney.
Yeah, well, that would take us a little while to dig out of our files.
Go digging, Mr. Muldowney.
(SIGHS) Help me. I don't know where I put it.
The evidence is from Thomas H. Hilder.
-Thomas H. Hilder. -Yes.
Isn't it a fact that
professor Carl Djerassi of Stanford University,
wrote in the April 1986, Bulletin of Atomic Scientists,
that Hilder's illegal abortion estimates
are based on exaggerated maternal mortality figures?
I'm not gonna con you, they're killing us.
-Professor Nichols... -Please!
Please, not now, not now.
But remember, to pull this thing out,
we only have to win one of our two arguments.
The legal or the philosophical.
And we only need three of the five judges
to go along with us.
-Oh, is that all? -Be serious, this is hopeless.
It's not hopeless!
It's just one of those moments in life
you're always talking about, Muldowney.
Have we got a pocket for $10,
or go chasing after the guy?
Then what are we supposed to do?
I want you to pick an argument you think you can win.
But we're certainly not winning with the legal.
CHARLIE: Then go for the philosophical.
Give them your best rhetoric.
We can't win this thing on facts,
then we damn well better win it on drama.
What drama?
You'll have to find that in yourselves.
(LAUGHING)
This is ridiculous.
(HUFFING)
Hey, forget that junk.
It's not in there.
Then where is it?
What I am about to tell you is something
I haven't told anyone in four very long years.
Not my parents.
Not a single friend.
No one.
The reason I'm telling you this today, is because I realized, very recently,
that life may not be the long ride we think it will be.
And because there's obviously no other way to cut through
these cold statistics and rational opinion and give you,
men in particular,
a true look into the hearts of women.
When I was 14 years old,
I was raped by one of the bartenders who worked in my father's bar.
I got pregnant,
and I had an abortion.
(DEEP SIGH) Afterwards, I couldn't trust men at all.
I couldn't relax. (BREATHES DEEPLY)
Or feel anything.
And I carried around with me this deep depression about life.
And I blamed it, with all the rest, on the rape.
But this year I realized that the abortion had affected me just as much.
You see, abortion is a deceptive issue.
When it's happening all loaded up on Demerol, it doesn't seem like such a big deal.
Just a minor operation to remove a major problem.
But later,
sometimes, years later,
it hits you what you've done.
It doesn't just hit you, it devastates you.
For some women, this awareness comes
when they watch a movie, when they see kids playing in the park.
For me it came when I saw a close friend of mine dying.
(SOBBING) Yes, I had an abortion.
And I'd do it again if I was raped.
(SNIFFLING) But what I realized,
the night that my friend died,
was that life,
born and unborn, is precious.
And waste even one life,
(VOICE BREAKING) even the life that I wasted,
is so very sad.
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
Don't you see the bind we women are in?
With Roe v. Wade you gave us the freedom we needed.
The freedom we deserved!
To be the final voice of what happens to our own bodies.
But on the other hand, you gave us a cross too heavy
for any woman or man to carry alone.
Because you gave us the God-like power, to terminate life.
Biologically, this responsibility falls on the female,
but ethically, it should fall equally on the male.
(WHISPERS)
You men in general don't want to know anything about this, do you?
You women, most of you, wouldn't mind
sweeping all these questions under the carpet, but you're both wrong.
You're both running from the responsibility we all have
in matters where human life is at stake.
And the day we stop running and fighting,
and we start talking to each other about it,
is the day that we can finally call ourselves a civilized nation.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Oh, that was brilliant! You were fantastic!
If you believe that one, I've got one hell of a bridge
to show you that just happens to be for sale.
(LAUGHING)
I quote, "If you are losing a debate, be prepared to say anything to turn it around."
End quote.
We've all read your brilliant text book, coach Nichols.
So let's nudge this debate back onto a more factual foundation.
Shall we?
Harvard has dismantled the affirmative position on every key issue.
We have defended freedom of choice for women.
And stressed the right of individuals not to be coerced by government
on sensitive personal issues, like abortion.
Kenmont's failure to offer any kind of a plan
that would improve on the status quo,
is the greatest indication of all, that what we've been hearing all day
from our worthy opponents,
is just a lot of hot California air.
(LAUGHING)
We are very confident that you will vote negative.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
What we need is a plan!
-Then give them one. -I don't have one!
Of course you do.
You're the wrap up specialist, aren't you?
So go wrap it all, Muldowney.
Mr. Muldowney, your time has already started.
At the start of the season, Coach said that we would have
to learn to see and feel the other side as if it were our own.
I thought he was out of his mind.
See, I thought the rich were to blame for all the country's problems.
And I thought that women were the bad guys in the battle of the sexes.
But then I met a young man who was very rich,
and he taught me that
the rich have problems just like everybody else,
and that being poor is no excuse for anything.
And then, I met this young lady,
who thought me that I don't know the first thing about women,
or what they're going through today.
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
And the conclusion I came to is this.
We are all in this boat together!
Rich and poor!
Old and young.
Men and women!
And we are all scared and unsure today,
because our whole moral structure, as a nation, is crumbling.
And we don't know what to do about it.
You want a plan?
Well, the first step is to realize that decisions like Roe v. Wade,
have inadvertently contributed to an overall breakdown in this nation's character.
I mean, look around! We have lost the backbone of our founding fathers!
Their pride and passion!
About work and the family.
And replaced it with a consumer culture,
that we are all hooked on like junkies.
Everything is too easy for us!
If we can't make our marriages work,
we'll go and get a quickie divorce.
If we can't afford something,
we'll put it on credit and leave a legacy of debt for the next generation.
And if we get a little sloppy about our birth control,
we'll walk in and get an abortion.
The next step in this plan, is a nationally funded education effort.
Aimed at making all of us aware of how we have been abusing our freedoms,
and what we need to do to regain our integrity as human beings.
You see, I am not saying that abortion is wrong.
But not training the young to approach sex and contraception
as everybody's sacred responsibility, is wrong.
Making one gender pay the price for our sins, is wrong!
Not valuing human life, born and unborn, is wrong!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Mmm.
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
(SHUSHING)
I'd like to close with a quote
from a good buddy Dostoyevsky
that pretty well sums up the affirmative position,
"Imagine that you are creating a fabric of human destiny
"with the object of making men and women happy in the end,
"giving them peace and rest at last.
"But that it was essential and inevitable to torture to death only one tiny creature..."
That little baby beating its breast with its fist, for instance.
"And to found that edifice,
"that wonderful new world..."
On that child's unavenged tears.
"Would you consent to be the architect on those conditions?
"Tell me.
"And tell the truth."
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
-He did it! -Yeah!
I'm so proud of you.
Now you didn't faint.
Respect, sir.
The judges will give their decisions
based on their seniority.
Justice Patterson?
I thought that Harvard dominated the debate
with their research and polish as a team.
Negative.
Justice Goodman?
I found the West Coast team very appealing.
Very sympathetic.
This national character issue is a fresh, new approach.
Affirmative.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
CLERK: Justice Tarlton?
Well, uh, I thought both teams did a very nice job with the women's right issue.
But it seemed to me that, uh,
Harvard was the more persuasive.
Negative.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Justice Brooderworth.
Don't read more into this, boys, than it's worth.
This is a collegiate debate, not a true vote.
I believe in Roe v. Wade.
But I believe this Kenmont team is right
about a national educational campaign on abortion.
I also think it's time we got back to a deeper value system in this nation.
Kenmont.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) -It's two on two, I don't believe it.
Justice Blyleven.
(SIGHING)
Kenmont.
-(SCREAMING) -(RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE)
Yes!
TUCKER: We did it!
We better get outta here before the press gets here.
-The press? -Come on, Muldowney, let's get out of here.
Unbelievable! Oh, God!
Tucker, do you realize what just happened?
We just beat the best collegiate debate team in history.
And I wish he could have seen it.
Oh, he would have been so proud.
(SIGH)
-I just got one question for you... -I feel so free!
I never thought people could feel this free.
You didn't make that up, did you?
No wonder you never trusted me.
I trust you now.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
* Hold me
* I will hold you
* Listen to me while I speak my heart
* You can talk to me
* We're all looking for a place to start
* Where we tell the truth again
* Tell the truth again
* Lover
* Life is closing in from everywhere
* There's so little time to show we care
* Say the words that show our hearts
* Won't you listen to me
* Knowing how we fall
* Listen to me
* Knowing love is all
* I am in you
* And you are in me
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Listen to me
* Hold me
* I will hold you
* Listen to me while I speak my heart
* You can talk to me
* We're all looking for a place to start
* Where we tell the truth again
* Tell the truth again
* Love me
* Listen to me, life is not that long
* And we don't have time to get it wrong
* Let's believe and let's begin
* Let's begin
* Won't you listen to me
* Knowing how we fall
* Listen to me
* Knowing love is all
* I am in you
* And you are in me
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Listen to me
* Won't you listen to me
* For we know how we fall
* Listen to me
* Knowing love is all
* I am in you
* And you are in me
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Won't you listen to me
* For we know how we fall
* Listen to me
* Knowing love is all
* I am in you
* And you are in me
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Listen to me
* For we know how we fall
* Knowing love is all
* I am in you
* And you are in me
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Just how good our lives
* Could be
* Through each other's eyes
* We see
* Listen to me