有位名人曾经说过，我们创造了自己的恶魔
这是谁说的？什么意思？
无所谓了，我说了，他也说了
既然他是名人，那么现在至少就有两个名人说过了
我不...呃，让我重新梳理一下事情的经过吧
-[钢铁侠3]-
这件事还得从头说起
听好了，有这样一个关于生活在一个蓝色世界里的小人物故事
他认为所有的日子和所有的一切，都像他一样从里到外都是蓝色
他的蓝色房子带一个蓝色小窗口，蓝就像轻武装快舰
一切对他自己，和他身边的每一个人而言都是蓝色的
因为没有人愿意倾听他
还有半个小时就跨世纪了
托尼·斯塔克，你的演讲真棒啊!
我刚刚演讲了么？
演讲怎么样？
- 引人深思 -令人费解
真的？我就喜欢这样的，好坏通吃
- 嘿，我们这是去哪儿？ -呃，来一炮，或者去你家？
我想看看你的研究
行，你可以看我的研究，但是...我不会让你“到处”都逛的
- 斯塔克先生，我是霍·银森 - 嘿，居然有人名字里带霍！
为您介绍一下我们这位客人，吴医生
- 啊，这个人 - 这是斯塔克先生
- 你好 - 你好
你是心脏科医生，她一会儿正好需要一个心脏科医生
那我们下次再聚吧
故事开始于瑞士，伯尔尼，1999年
这些过去的日子
我从们想过他们会变成日后的噩梦
我怎会想到呢？
嗨托尼！我是阿尔德里奇·基连，十分仰慕您的成就
- 我的成就？ - 他是谁？他说的是我吧
啊当然，但是
汉森小姐,我的机构从你在麻省理工的第二年起就关注着你的研究了
哇呜，他挤进来了。他成功通关了
- 你去哪层啊伙计？ - 哦，这个问题问得刚好
第一层。我有个提议---
这是一个私人智囊团，叫做先进概念力学
都给她，一张用来扔，一张留着玩
名字的简称是AIM，您明白嘛？
明白，你的T恤上不是写着呢么
姑娘们，跟着大背头走，女士优先
谢谢，我会给你电话的
我对和你合作很感兴趣
等我摆脱这些肤浅的家伙后就去找你，五分钟之后，屋顶上见
我只是要先让肌肉准备好，你懂我意思的
我就在屋顶上等你！
不见不散
- 你真行，我以为这只是个理论呢 - 呃，曾经是...
如果我的理论没错的话，我们就可以进入大脑的修复中枢，然后用药物重新编码
太不可思议了
你简直就是黑进了鲜活器官的生物基因系统
没错
- 你最好别碰我的植物 - 怎么？
- 它不.. - 她不喜欢那样...
她与众不同。来吧，让我们去卧室瞧瞧
- 哈皮，别碰她的植物 - 恩，我是认真的，千万别
- 你已经开始用植物做实验了么？ - 是的
- 我把它叫做“绝境“ -好吧，那你的目的是... - 人体运用 -没错！
这下医科学位又要热门了
疾病预防
甚至是肢体再生
- 你是我见过的最有天赋的女人 -是吗？
- 在瑞士 - 这还差不多
在这个礼拜之内
你差点就信了是嘛
- 这就是我说的小差错 - 你有检查过端粒酶算法么？
- 我们很安全 - 别动
你压住我了
那究竟是什么？
- 那是我工作上的一点小差错 - 她告诉过你，总有些小差错
- 啊，不是千年虫作怪就好...
- 嘿，新年快乐 - 新年快乐
- 新年快乐 - 好了，明早见好么？晚安
你还好么 -好得很 - 我就在外面 -好了，行了
所以，我为什么要和你们说这些？因为我刚刚创造了一个恶魔
而我甚至没意识到
你知道我是谁
对啊，那是美好的时光
然后我继续我的生活
在经历了在阿富汗山洞的遭遇后，我告别了原来荒诞的生活
也忘了我在瑞士的那个晚上
现在，我已经焕然一新了
- 46 - 变得不一样了
- 我是……你知道我是谁 - 47
先生，我还需要几个小时来……
- 校准 - 不！48
啊！
微型感应装置注射完毕！
如您所愿，先生，我还准备了一份安全简述供您忽略
我当然会
好了，开始吧
笨笨
嗨，大笨蛋，你是怎么把帽子带到头上的？你应得的
嗨！
你怎么没在面壁思过？你知道你都干了什么好事
垫子上有血迹，弄干净它
先生，我得提醒您您已经整整3天没睡觉了
注意了女士们
晚上好，欢迎来到产房
我很高兴地宣布，你们即将拥有一位精力充沛、欢腾无比的小弟弟
先特写再拉远，打上日期和时间
自我调整导航装配战衣Mark42的测试
进程初始化
贾维斯，来点音乐
真没用
好的，我觉得差不多了，都来吧
也许有点快了...慢点，就慢...一点
能对我温柔点么贾维斯？
来啊
我才不怕你呢
我是最棒哒！
一如往常，先生，看您工作真是一种享受
我本以为3天不睡觉已经够糟糕了
没想到情况还能更糟了
接着当我打开电视时
"他"出现了
有些人说我是恐怖分子
可我认为自己是个老师
美国人民...
准备好，再上一堂课了么
1864年，在科罗拉多州的沙溪镇
美军埋伏着，等到和善的夏安族勇士外出打猎后
去袭击和屠杀他们留下的家人
然后霸占了他们的土地
39个小时之前，在科威特的萨勒姆空军基地被攻击了
是的，是我干的
一个挤满了妇孺的古老的军事教堂
士兵们外出演戏
“勇士们”都出门了
艾利斯总统，你始终都不肯接受我对你的教育
而现在呢，你仍没抓到我
你知道我是谁，但不会知道我在哪里
而且你永远都无法预测我的行动
信号终于正常了，让我们重新概述一下这个恐怖事件的发展
美国广播频道被劫持了
整个国家都处于高度警戒
至今为止，所有试图捕捉满大人的行动都失败了
内阁对这次的恐怖事件有了全新的对策
在我眼里，他是詹姆斯·罗德上校
而他将以钢铁爱国者的身份为美国民众所知
而艾利斯总统的对策是什么呢？
就是把原来叫“战争机器”的家伙重新喷一遍漆
一样的战甲，就是被漆成了红白蓝色，看，就是这个
然后给它重起了个名字叫“钢铁爱国者”
你知道的，还嫌喷漆颜色的暗示不够明显
民意调查的反馈不是很好么？
- 哥是钢铁爱国者 - 听着
战争机器听起来太凶了好么，这个传达的信息更和谐
所以这究竟是怎么回事？那个满大人
说真的，我们能讨论一下么？
这都是机密信息，托尼
好吧，一共有九起爆炸事件
- 九起... - 公众只知道其中的三起
但是问题的关键是这个，没有人找到过引爆装置
- 也没有爆炸碎片 - 你知道我可以帮忙的
找我就好了
我有一堆新玩意,我有自动导航战衣，还有拆弹器
可以在半空中抓住爆炸物
- 你多久没睡个好觉了？ - 爱伊斯坦一年只睡3个小时
大家都很担心你，托尼，我也担心你
- 你开始关心我了？ - 不，嘿，我不是要当一个贱——
- 利忘义的人 - 能帮我签个名么？
- 如果理查德不介意的话，你介意吗，小贱？ - 没事，不介意
- 你叫什么名字？ - Erin
顺便一说，我觉得你像“圣诞故事”里的人物
听着，五角大楼都恐慌了
在纽约那事发生之后...外星人诶，拜托
他们需要表现得强势一点
- 阻止Mandarin是最重要的，但是这不是... - 这不是超级英雄该管的事
不，不是这样的，说实在的...
这是国家大事
你还好么？
- 我折断了蜡笔 - 你没事吧，斯塔克先生
放轻松，托尼
你是怎么从那个虫洞中逃出来的？
- 等一下，托尼 - 你说什么？
对不起...得检查一下...战甲...确保...
检查心脏...检查...是...是大脑有问题么？
没有迹象表明心脏或大脑异常
好吧那难道是我中毒了？
我的检测结果是，您有着非常严重的焦虑症
我？
- 嘿哥们，注意形象啊，出来吧 - 对不起，我得走了
胸卡，胸卡...带好胸卡
你的胸卡呢，嘿，我在洗手间都贴了告示的
Tony把它们都放在地下室，给他们戴上了派对帽，这是我们可以利用的资源
嗯哼，所以你就建议我把所有的清洁工都换成机器人么？谢谢
我的意思是，人就是我们人力资源中最薄弱的一环
我们应该立刻着手解决问题
- 什么？ - 打扰一下，斑比
- 你说什么？ - 胸卡？
哈皮，我很为你成为安全部长而感到高兴，好吧
- 这个职位很适合你 - 谢谢
- 但是 - 我很荣幸
- 自从你上任后 - 不用客气
我们的员工投诉率猛然上升了百分之三百
- 谢谢 - 这不是表扬
“这不是...”？这是表扬！很显然有人在试图隐瞒什么！
- 打扰一下 -什么事？ -波茨小姐，您四点的预约到了
- 你跟我通报了么？ - 哈皮，我们等等再说这个
而现在，我必须去解决这件麻烦事了
哪儿麻烦了？
以前的同事，总想约我出去，所以总是有点尴尬...
听起来确实不咋样
- 佩珀 - 基连？
气色不错啊...你看起来真的不错
天吶，你...你看上去也很好 我...我不...你最近都在干嘛？
没什么，就是在物理理疗师那儿呆了五年
啊还有，请叫我阿尔德里奇
- 呃，你怎么不带上发的胸卡？ - 哈皮，没事
- 是吗？ -不会有事的
- 你确定？ - 是的
- 去吧 - 我就在附近，不走远
- 谢谢 - 好吧
很高兴见到你，Killian
嘿，你的胸卡
圣诞快乐
经过多年对总统下达的“不道德生物研究”禁令的回避
我的智囊团发明了一个不起眼的小东西
我们把这个创意叫“绝境”
我得把你的灯关掉
关于人类的大脑
啊等等，稍等片刻，这是宇宙，我弄错了
但是我只需要，这样--
这才是大脑，异常得相似，不是吗？
哇，真不可思议！ -谢谢，这是我的大脑
- 什么？ - 这个...你正在我的大脑里
这是实况转播，上来，我来证明给你看
来啊
现在，掐我的胳膊，我受得住，掐一下
那是什么？ -这是初级体觉感受皮质
也就是大脑的痛觉感受区，但这个，才是我想给你看的
现在，“绝境”将生物的神经潜质完全开发控制
然后将讯号发送到...这里
这实质上是个空槽，而这告诉我们，我们的大脑，
- 我们全部的DNA，是注定要被升级的 - 哇
- 你好？ - 是安全大头么？
什么？好吧，别闹了，我有份真正的工作，你有什么事么？我在工作呢
- 我可是有事正忙着呢 - 什么？催着员工带胸卡？
我说，你知道当我告诉人们，
我曾经是钢铁侠的贴身保镖时他们什么反应么？他们居然敢笑我
我得在我还没有颜面尽失的时候赶快离开
现在我真的在干活，我在保护着佩珀
什么情况，告诉我
- 说真话？ -当然
好吧，她正在见一位科学家...有钱，又很帅
- 好吧 - 我一开始没认出来
- 你知道我对认人很在行的 - 啊对，你是最棒的
所以我调出了他的资料，认出了他，阿尔德里奇·基连
事实上我们见过他，1999年的时候？在哪来着，那个科学会议？
- 在瑞士 - 对对，没错
基连，不，我不记得他了
你当然不记得，他又不是金发大波的美女
一开始还挺正常，他们在谈着公事，
但现在变得有点，奇怪了...他在给佩帕看他的大脑
- 他的什么？ -大脑，看起来佩帕还挺开心
你自己看看吧，稍等，看见没？
看什么？看你的大脑门？把屏幕翻过来我才能看见他们
我又不是像你一样的高科技天才，相信我，赶快过来吧
- 你就翻一下屏幕我就能看见他们了 - 我不会，我哪知道怎么把它翻过来！
别再这样跟我说话了，你不再是我老板了
好吧，我只是不再为你工作了...这家伙很可疑，还带了一个贼眉鼠眼的手下
- 淡定 - 说真的？
我只是让你检查一下周围的安全，让他出去就行了，喝杯酒什么的
你知道么？你应该更留心一下这儿的事情
这个女人是上天赐给你最美好的礼物
- 而你却一直忽视她 - 是个很大的大脑？
是啊，巨大无比，还是个狡猾的家伙...
我要查查这个家伙，查查他的车牌...要是真有问题我是不会放过他的
- 我很想你，哈皮 - 我也很想你，不过是以前的你
现在你都和那帮超级英雄一起混了
真不知道你最近怎么了，世界真是越来越奇怪...
- 嗨，打断一下，你身上带着电击枪么？ - 怎么了？
好像有个女的在人事部里偷墨盒，
- 你也许应该过去看看，治治她 - 呃，好吧
想想一下，你能侵入到任何一个有机生物的体内并且可以重新编码DNA
真是不可思议
不幸的是，这在我听来是能够高度武器化的
比如超能战士、私人武装...而托尼不会...
托尼，托尼
你知道么，我曾在13年前邀请过托尼与我们合作
而他拒绝了我
但现在不一样了,我知道执掌大权的是一个新的天才，
她不再需要对托尼俯首帖耳，也没有托尼那么自命不凡
但是...我只能说“很遗憾”,阿尔德里奇
虽然我很想帮你
我不得不说我很失望
但是正像我父亲曾说的一样，失败是一团迷雾，透过它我们就能睹见成功
很深奥啊，我甚至都听不懂这是什么意思
啊，我老头子确实有点糊涂
我们一定会再见面的，佩珀
哈皮
车准备好了，现在走么？
好的，我只是，天呐...我忘了，还有点事呢，我得...先走了
抱歉我回来晚了，我...这是什么？！
你现在在家都穿着这个了？这是哪个，马克15么？
啊，差不多，每个人都有自己的爱好嘛
哦，那你一定要在客厅里展示你的爱好吗？
只是习惯习惯，刚开始总会有点硌人，尤其是裆部那块儿
哦对了，你看见你的圣诞礼物了么？
啊当然，我都不知道怎么才能看不到那么大的一个圣诞礼物
- 那能搬进来么？ - 呃，这是个好问题，
事实上我叫了一帮人，准备明天过来把这堵墙炸了
好吧，紧张吗？累不累？
哦，肩膀有点紧，不太乖啊
别嫌我唠叨，不过...你喜欢那个大兔子吗？
- 我喜欢吗？ -很特别，不是吗？
你的好意我心领了，所以你干嘛不把面甲升起来，吻我一下呢？
啊哦，不行，打不开
要不你就吻在这个，额，嘴缝上？
没关系，等我去车库看看能不能找到一个撬棒撬开它好了
撬棒？额...对了，那儿好像有额...辐射泄漏
- 我愿意冒这个险 - 风险很大啊
至少等我给你找件核生化防护衣...
或者带个盖革计数器什么的...
- 被你识破了 -你真是达到了无聊的新境界
- 对不起 - 你约我吃晚饭却不等我？ 自己先吃了？！
- 他只是... - 你是说你
啊，好吧，我的意思是...在我完成一些工作的同时我们一起招待招待你
所以是的，我已经随便吃了几口，我不知道你今晚回不回来
或者你要去和阿尔德里奇·基连喝一杯？
- 什么？ - 什么什么？
阿尔德里奇·基连？你在监视我么？
- 哈皮很关心你 - 才不是，你在监视我
- 我去睡觉了 - 别！等等！拜托！
佩珀……
嘿，我承认！是我的错，对不起
我现在一团糟
很长时间了...我一直都没说
纽约事件之后一切都变了
哦，是吗？我完全没有注意到，一点儿也没有
你经历了这些事，尽管它们已经过去，你却还是想不明白
神，外星人，异次元，而我只是个披着铁皮的普通人
我到现在还没有崩溃，就是因为你搬了进来
这真好，我爱你，我很幸运
但亲爱的，我无法入睡
你去床上睡觉，我就下来这里，做我熟悉的事情
我敲敲打打
危机迫在眉睫
而我必须保护..我绝不能失去的那件东西
也就是你
还有我的战甲们，他们就是……
- 只是机器。 - 他们是我的一部分
是你在逃避
也许如此
我得去冲个澡
好的
你也一起来吧
- 更好
托尼！
关闭电源！
我一定是在睡梦里召唤它了……这本不该发生的
我会重新校正传感器的
能不能...让我……喘口气，好吗？
佩珀，别走行吗？
我去楼下睡，你和它敲敲打打吧
- 你能控制好吗？ - 可以，我可以控制它
- 你确定？ - 是的
这可是批好货
- 可别说我从没照顾过你 - 谢谢你
我是说，谢谢你的理解
哦真不好意思，伙计
你好吗，伙计？
你一个人出来的？在约会之夜？看着你最喜欢的花痴爱情片？
没错，一部叫做“派对结束”的小电影
由你和你磕药的女朋友出演，这就是电影票
别开玩笑，那东西可不属于你
萨万！救命！帮帮我！
一个关于幸运饼干的真实故事：
他们看上去像中国货，听起来像中国货
但实际上，它们是美国人的发明
所以它们是空心的
装满谎言
在嘴里留下的味道是这么的糟糕
我的门徒刚刚又消灭了一处没档次的美国山寨品
那就是，中国剧院
总统先生
我知道这一定让您越来越沮丧了
但这阵恐慌即将迎来尾声
别担心，压轴好戏即将开场：您的毕业典礼
- 你好 - 噢
- 能让它开着吗？ - 当然
每周日晚上PBS台的“唐顿庄园”
他最喜欢这个节目，他觉得这节目品位高雅
还有件事，让每个人都带好胸牌
他对这类事就是这么较真，而且我的保安是不会让没戴胸牌的人进门的。
我们正在等待托尼·斯塔克的到来，我们希望他能表一下态……
能就本次袭击事件表态
斯塔克先生！
我们的消息来源说这又是一起满大人的袭击事件
您还有什么要告诉我们的吗？
嘿！斯塔克先生！什么时候才能把这家伙干掉？
能谈谈么
这就是你们想要的吗？
我一直想送给满大人一点节日致意
我只是刚刚才想好如何措辞
我的名字是托尼·斯塔克，我并不怕你
我知道你就是个懦夫，所以我拿定主意了
你就等死吧，老兄
我会直接来替你收尸的
这跟政治无关，这只是老派的复仇
再不关五角大楼什么事，就在你我之间解决
尽管不太可能，但如果你还算男人的话，这是我的地址
10880号，马里布港，地区编码90265
我会给你留门的。这就是你想要的，对吧？
我赔你
我已经为您整理好了满大人的资料库，先生
资料来源包括神盾局，FBI，和CIA的数据拦截器
正在进行犯罪现场虚像重建
好吧
我们知道些什么？
他的名字来源于古代中国的官职，意思是“皇帝的参谋”
熟悉南美叛乱的战略手段
讲话像个传道士
总是排场十足，如同做戏
- 关闭 - 爆炸中释放出的热量超过三千摄氏度
任何十二码半内的物体都会被直接蒸发
- 中国剧院周围三英里内都没有发现炸弹碎片。 - 没有，先生
告诉我，哈皮
不是炸弹的炸弹，究竟是什么？
- 有军队的伤亡人员吗？ - 根据公开的数据，并没有，先生
把热学信号弄出来，以三千度为筛选条件
甲骨云完成分析
正在连接卫星，正在绘制近十二个月内的热量变化。
把所有已遭到满大人袭击的地方剔除掉
不是
是那个。你确定那不是满大人干的吗？
这件事早于所有已知的满大人的袭击
是一起使用炸弹来自杀的事件
拉近点
热信号有很高的的相似度，都是三千摄氏度
涉及到两个士兵……
你去过田纳西吗，贾维斯？
正在制定飞往田纳西州的飞行计划
怎么还有人来敲门？我们应该处于完全的安全性封锁了
拜托，我刚刚才威胁了一个恐怖分子。这是谁啊？
先生，当您把自家地址公布给全世界媒体后，我也就无能为力了
站那儿别动
你不是满大人吧，你是吗？
是你吗？
你不记得我了
- 我怎么就一点不吃惊呢 - 不是针对你，我早餐吃什么我都不记得
- 无麸质华夫饼，先生 - 哦没错
听着，我得和你单独谈谈，最好别在这儿……很紧急
通常我不会拒绝的，但现在我正处于一段恋情之中
- 和她……的恋情 - 托尼
- 来客人了吗？ - 对，是玛雅·汉森
一个过去认识的搞植物学的老朋友，我们不熟
拜托别告诉我外面有个十二岁的我未曾谋面的娃等在车里
是十三岁。不，我真的需要你的帮助
为了什么？非得现在？
因为我看了报纸，而且老实说，我不觉得你能撑过这周
我好得很
我很抱歉
- 哈皮住院了，所以没想到会有客人来 - 我们没有客人要来
- 而且是过去的 - 她不能算是……
对，确实不算，我们顶多就算一夜情而已
没错
这就是你干得好事
- 那晚确实很美妙 - 好吧，你知道吗……
- 嗯 - 你给自己省了一箩筐麻烦
- 啥？ - 相信我 - 我懂
我们要搬出去
- 我们已经讨论过这个了，不行。 - 一定要！
- 我说不去就不去 - 立刻出发，我说能回才能回
- 好主意，我们走吧 - 不好意思，这主意很烂，请别碰她的包
- 托尼，这是正常人都会做的事 - 在外面我没法保护你，我反对——
这也是正常的吗？
- 说来遗憾，这就是正常的 - 是的，它很正常！
- 相当正常 - 就是个大兔子，别大惊小怪的！
- 冷静冷静 - 这是我专门为你买的
- 我知道 - 你始终都没告诉我你到底喜不喜欢它！
- 我不喜欢！ - 我问了你三……
你不喜欢？！
- 我们得离开这房子，谈都不用谈 - 我说了，不
- 别吵了，我们能不能…… - 怎么了？
我们不需要担心那个吗？
- 我救了你 - 是我先救了你的
我就说我们不能呆在这儿
快走！我就跟在你们后面——
去救她，我会想办法绕过去
别傻站着！带她一起出去！
快！
天呐，托尼！
先生，波茨小姐已经安全离开
- 贾维斯，我的飞行动力呢？ - 正在启动，先生。这只是原型机
搞定一架
先生，战衣还没准备好投入战斗
搞定两架
托尼！！
先生，深呼吸
飞行动力已恢复
先生
先生！
好啦，关掉闹钟，我醒了
那是当能源低于5%时引起的紧急警报
下雪了？我们在北部么？
我们位于距田纳西州玫瑰山五英里处
什么？！
贾维斯！这可不是我的主意！
我们到这儿来干什么；这差了十万八千里！我得去救佩珀，我得——
这就是您要求我制定的飞行计划
目的地就是这里
谁让你准备的？
- 把战甲打开 - 我...我想我发生故障了，先生
打开它，老贾
这倒是沁人心脾
- 我大概还是进去暖和着吧 - 事实上我觉得我得休息了，先生
贾维斯
贾维斯？
别离开我，伙计
斯塔克安保服务器：向所有已知终端传输
佩珀，是我
我有无限歉意，但只有有限的时间，所以从最紧要的说起
我很抱歉让你受到伤害。
这很自私，很愚蠢，我保证这不会再发生了
还有，这是圣诞季，那兔子太大了
以上，对不起
而且我要预先道歉因为……
因为我暂时还不能回家
我得找到这家伙
而你得平平安安，我就在乎这些
我刚刚从一个印第安人雕像上顺了条披肩
让我们把你弄舒服点
现在开心啦？
不许动！
- 别动 - 你抓到我了
这土豆枪不错
枪管有点过长
再加上度量太宽，会减少你的射速
而现在你没子弹了
你胸口那是什么？
是块电磁铁。你应该知道的，你这儿有一盒子呢
它给什么提供能量？
上帝啊！
- 那是钢铁侠吗？ - 技术上来说，我才是
技术上来说，你已经死了
- 说得有理 - 他怎么了？
生活无常啊。我创造了他，照顾他
我会修好他
- 像个机械师那样吗？ - 对
如果要我造钢铁侠和战争机器的话
- 现在是钢铁爱国者了 - 那更酷了！
不，才没有
不管怎样，我会装上反——
- 反射装置控制板？ - 搞个隐形模式
- 你想搞个隐形模式？ - 高端大气，对吧？
这个主意还真不错，也许我会造一个
这主意可不好！
你干嘛啊？你要把他的手指掰断？
他会痛的；他受伤了，别烦他了
- 对不起 - 是吗？
别担心，我会修好他的
那么，有谁在家吗？
嗯，我妈去吃晚饭了，我爸去便利店买刮刮乐了
我猜他是赢了钱，因为他是六年前去的
爸爸们跑路了这种事经常发生，没必要太在意，我需要这些东西：
笔记本电脑，一块电子表，一部手机
你那个火箭筒上面的气压传动装置
小镇的地图，一根大弹簧，和一个金枪鱼三明治
我有什么好处
拯救。他叫什么？
- 谁？ - 学校里总欺负你的那个孩子，他叫什么？
你怎么知道的？
我正好有个宝贝
这是个高科技蛐蛐罐
开个玩笑。这是个厉害的武器
别把它冲着自己的脸，按顶端的这个按钮
有效驱散恃强凛弱的人
不致命，只是用来防身
- 一言为定，做个交易？你觉得怎么样？ - 一言为定
- 你叫什么？ - 哈雷
- 你是？ - 机械师
托尼
你知道我脑子里在想什么吗？
我的三明治在哪？
斯塔克安保服务器 视网膜扫描已确认
佩珀,是我
我有无限歉意，但只有有限的时间，所以从最紧要的说起
我很抱歉让你受到伤害。这很自私，很愚蠢，我保证这不会再发生了
你今天怎么会在我们家？有什么重要的事你非要跟托尼讲的？
我觉得我的老板在为满大人工作
所以如果你还想继续讨论这个，我建议我们找个安全的地方
你觉得你的老板为满大人工作，但托尼说你是个植物学家
也可以这么说，我实际上是个生物基因编码专家，
在一个私人赞助的智囊团里带领一支四十人的队伍工作
但当然，你可以说我是个植物学家
- 你这个老板，他叫什么？ - 阿尔德里奇·基连
我们把房子炸掉了，先生，但是没找到尸体
- 知道了 - 没找到斯塔克
我得挂了
老大马上就要来录影了，而且他有点……
你们知道他的
你今晚的计划别变，搞定了打给我
好了所有人。不准交头接耳，除非你们想脑袋开花
老大在路上了
好了，我们还在等什么？
三明治不错，弹簧有点生锈，其它材料我会凑合的
顺便一提，你说你妹妹有块表
-对啊 - 我以为会比这稍微成熟一点的
她才六岁！不管怎样，这可是限量版
- 我们什么时候能谈谈纽约事件？ - 也许永远不谈，别老想着它
- 那复仇者呢，你能说说他们吗？ - 我不知道。也许等会儿
嘿小鬼，别逼太紧，好吗
这件事的官方描述是什么样的？
发生了什么？
我猜这个叫做查德·戴维斯的家伙，过在附近
在军队里得了不少奖章
有天大家都说他疯了，然后造了个，炸弹
然后他就在这把自己炸飞了
- 死了六个人，是吗？ - 是的
- 包括查德·戴维斯? - 是啊
这讲不通啊
你想想看，死了六个人，却只有五个影子
是，不过大家说这些影子是升入天堂的灵魂留下的
除了那个引爆炸弹的人，他应该去地狱了，所以他没有影子
- 这就是为什么只有五个影子 - 你信嘛？
每个人都是这样说的
- 你知道这个坑让我想到了什么吗？ - 完全不知道，也不想知道
那个巨型虫洞，纽约那个
没让你想到那个吗？
别套我的话。我不想谈这个
- 他们会回来吗？那些外星人？ -也许，你能别说了吗？
我告诉过你我有焦虑症，记得吗？
- 这个东西搞得你很紧张？ - 是的，有一点
能让我喘口气吗？
有坏人在玫瑰山这儿吗？你需要对着塑料袋调整呼吸吗？
- 你带药了吗？ - 没
- 你需要吃点药吗？ - 估计是的
- 你有创伤后应激综合症吗？ - 应该没有
你会精神失常吗？我可以不说了，你要我停下吗？
我已经跟你说了别说了！我发誓你会把我逼疯的
- 哦天哪，你真把我逼疯了。现在你开心了？ - 我说什么了我？
喂，等等我！等一下！
你怎么了？
你的错，你把我搞疯了
好吧，说回正事。我们刚说到哪了？
那个死掉的那个男的……他有亲戚吗？妈妈吗？戴维斯太太在哪？
她在一直呆着的地方
终于说一句有用的了
不好意思，女士
你掉了这个
谢谢
发型不错，很适合你
- 你的表也不错 - 是啊，限量版的呢
啊，当然
祝你晚上愉快
戴维斯太太
介意我坐这儿吗？
- 你的自由 - 谢谢
行了
你想开始谈些什么？
我只想说，我对您儿子的死感到非常遗憾
我想知道，您觉得真相是什么
我给你把那该死的档案带来了。你拿上它滚吧
不管这里面是什么，都与他无关
显然你是在等别的什么人。你和谁约在这儿见面吗？
是啊
戴维斯太太，您的儿子不是自杀的；
我向您保证，他也没有杀死任何人
有人利用了他
- 什么？ - 拿他当枪使
你不是给我打电话的那个人，对吧？
事实上，我才是
喂！这是干什么？这儿发生了什么？
拘捕嫌疑犯
- 你是这儿的治安官，是吗？ - 是的，女士，你又是--？
- 国土安全局，没问题了吧？ - 不，有问题
我需要更多相关的信息
长官，我觉得这超出了您的职权范围
哈，既然这样，你干嘛不给州府打个电话授权给我呢？
好吧，本来我是希望用聪明点的方法结束这个的，但是，呃
有趣点的方法也挺好
副警长，把这个女人和——
嘿，辣妹，想开个派对？我陪你，来吧
- 真疯狂，是吧 - 是啊
再看这个
就算你非要闯进来；我和比你更辣的妞约会过
这就是你全部活计了？廉价的把戏和俗套的俏皮话？
甜心，那简直可以作我自传的标题
- 放开我！ - 救命！救命！
- 小鬼，你圣诞节想要什么礼物？ - 斯塔克先生，我真对不起
不不，我觉得他是想说“我要我那该死的档案”
这不是你的错，孩子
记得我告诉你怎么对付恶霸的吗？
喜欢这个吗，机器人乐园？这才是聪明人的做法
我们总是能保护好自己
不客气哟！
- 不客气什么？我错过了什么事吗？ - 我救了你的命
首先，我先救你的，其次，好吧，谢谢你
最后，你救完人能不能别像个白痴似的？
淡定点儿，不然就成了洋洋得意了
不是像你这样？
承认吧。你需要我，我们心灵相通
我需要你回家，和你妈妈呆一起，什么都不要告诉别人，保护好战甲
随时保持联系，因为最好我一打电话你就接，好吗？
你能感觉到吗？我俩讲完了
挪开一点，否则我会从你身上碾过去。再见孩子
我很抱歉孩子
- 你做得很棒 - 所以你现在要离开我，就像我爸爸那样？
是的
- 等等，你难道是想唤醒我的负罪感吗？ - 我好冷啊
我知道啊，你知道我怎么知道的吗？
因为我们心灵相通
起码这值得一试
画面怎么了？
整个东海岸……卫星都失灵了
出现了未授权放送
副总统先生，您得看看这个
哦上帝，又来了。总统看得到这个吗？
总统先生
还剩下两课
我打算在圣诞节的早晨到来之前结课
这是托马斯·理查德。多棒的名字，多棒的工作
这位托马斯是罗克森石油公司的会计
而且我确定他真的是个好人
我打算在三十秒之后，现场直播打爆他的头
这部座机的号码就在你手机里。激动人心，不是么？
想象一下它是如何被放进去的
美国人民，如果你们的总统在半分钟之内打了电话，汤姆就能活命
计时开始
- 他是怎么黑进我手机的？ - 我们不能允许恐怖分子来命令-
- 我必须打这个电话 - 我强烈反对您这么做
这是我们应该做的
只剩下一课了，埃利斯总统，逃吧，躲起来吧，跟你的孩子道别吧
因为没有任何人能够救你。你的军队，还有你穿着红白蓝的走狗都救不了你
我们很快会再见的
- 告诉罗德，立刻去找这个疯子 -先生，我们跟踪了电视信号
我们发现发射地点可能在巴基斯坦
爱国者准备好出击了
- 立刻行动！ - 好的，先生
别动！
呃，等一下
- 喂 - 试过跟一个女的纠缠在一起
你一抬头看到她突然全身上下散发橘色光芒吗？
- 是的，我试过，你谁啊？ - 是我，伙计
如果我没记错的话，上次我失踪时，你来找我了
- 你做什么呢？ - 到处敲门聊聊天，在巴基斯坦交几个朋友。你又在干嘛？
帮你重新设计包装战甲的公司，是叫AIM对吧？ - 是的
我现在要找一个重型的通信卫星，需要你的登陆账号。
- 一直都是那个，战争机器68. - 密码呢？
听着托尼，每次你黑完我都要改密码
现在不是八十年代，没人说“黑”了，快给我密码
"战争机器炫酷屌极"结尾是X，全大写
- 不行么 - 这比钢铁爱国者好听多了
赞，非常棒
我有一个问题想问你
你想要什么圣诞礼物？
嗯，戴维德
我们正在田纳西州的查塔努加镇，直播查塔努加小姐选美大赛
再打一次分，好的，谢谢这位小姐
这个行不通
不好意思先生，我不知道你是...
妈妈，我得先挂电话了，不可思议的事发生了！
- 托尼·斯塔克在我的车里！ - 小声点
- 托尼·斯塔克在我的车里！！ - 不，他不在
我就知道你还活着！
进来关上车门
- 天啊！我能说句话吗先生？ - 说吧
- 我是你的头号脑残粉 - 首先，这是你的车？还是会有别人进来？
- 不，只有我和你 - 你叫什么名字？
- 加里 - 嗷，天啊
- 没事，这很好，这种情况我见多了 - 我可以说句话吗？
- 可以 - 我不知道你能不能看出来
我整个造型都是学你的
我的发型有点不对，因为没擦东西
好吧
我不想让你感到尴尬，但是我想给你看……嘣！
西班牙版斯克特·拜奥？
- 我很抱歉，这是我吗？ - 是的！
这……我让他们照着一个我做的玩偶纹的
所以不如原始照片的效果，有点儿...
加里，等一下，听我说
我不想打断你，我们都有点激动过头了
我有点儿麻烦，我在追捕坏人
正试图从深度加密的数据文件里挖掘一些资料
我的网速不够快
我需要你跳到车顶上，重新校对数据网络
将它的性能提升40%
- 知道了 - 好的，这是任务
好的
托尼需要加里
- 加里也需要托尼 - 安静行事
去吧
你觉得你人生中关键性的时刻是？
我想是那回事我决定不让自己被伤痛打倒的那一刻
- 可以对着摄像机再说一次你的名字吗？ - 艾伦·布兰特
好的，注射会周期性的进行
药物成瘾是不被允许的，那些无法自控的人会被逐出这个项目
曾经残疾的、不被别人接受的你们，将会是人类进化中的下一个阶段
大家好。在我们开始之前，我向你们保证
如果你们选择放弃这次光荣的冒险，那将会是你们回首往昔时最苦涩的回忆
今天就是你们的光荣日。我们开始吧！
我们快出去！快出去！把他们带出去！带他们出去！
不是炸弹的炸弹原来是不受控制的爆炸
这种东西并非次次都正常运作，是吧，伙计？
这是个瑕疵品，但你们找到了买家，对不对？
将它卖给了满大人
发生了什么事？
给你讲个有趣的事实
在为纳粹造火箭之前
那个理想主义者冯布朗幻想过太空旅行..
他喜欢观星
你知道第一枚V2落在伦敦的时候他怎么说么？
这枚火箭的发射很完美
它只是降落到了错误的星球上
你看，我们一开始都是向往着...“纯粹的科学”
然后渐渐变得自负，陷入痴迷
而当你清醒过来时
你已经离岸太远回不了头了
别太自责了，玛雅。我是说你将自己的研究交给了一个智囊团
但基里安为军事合同组建了那个智囊团
我们过去也是这样做的
所以别急着审判自己
谢谢你，佩珀
真的非常感谢
- 嘿，晚上好 - 晚上好 - 进来
玛雅，快跑
你好，佩珀
所以你能告诉我为什么你昨晚会出现在斯塔克别墅里么？
我想解决这件事，我不知道你和老大打算炸飞那里
哦我懂了，你想救斯塔克...
- 就在他刚威胁过我们之后 - 我告诉过你，基连，我们可以利用他
- 佩珀，佩珀 - 听着，如果我们想在明年推出，我就需要斯塔克
他以前只是缺乏动机，现在他有了
这里是支援蓝组零号，正在发送疑似满大人电视信号源头的坐标
收到
不许动！
支援蓝组零号，除非满大人下一次袭击美国的计划中会用到廉价运动装，
不然就是你又搞错了
是的，你们自由了，如果你们之前不自由的话，是的，女士。
钢铁爱国者完成了使命，很高兴能帮助你们，不用谢我，这是我的荣幸
萨万，我得到了爱国者战甲。
想要这身战甲？你得先把我冰冷的死尸从里面撬出来
那正是我们的计划，上校
哈雷，告诉我现在的情况，我要一份完整的报告
对，我还在吃那种糖，你想让我继续吃吗？
- 你吃了多少？ - 两三碗吧
你还看得清东西么？
- 还行吧 - 那就表示你还没事儿，帮我接贾维斯
- 贾维斯，怎么样了？ - 非常好，先生
我刚开始念时都很好，但到了最后就开始说错致
还有，先生，你是对的。我一进入可用的AIM下载设备
就能定位满大人的放送信号了
在哪里？远东、欧洲、北美、伊朗、巴基斯坦、叙利亚？在哪里？
事实上，先生，在迈阿密
好吧，孩子，我必须得指导你重装贾维斯的语言系统
但不是现在。哈雷，他到底在哪儿？
看着屏幕，告诉我在哪里。
- 确实是在佛罗里达州的迈阿密 - 好的，重要的事情要先办，我需要战甲
- 修复的进展如何了？ - 呃，充不进去电
事实上，先生，它在充电，但电源存在问题
可能无法成功激活马克42.
电源有什么问题？好吧，那是我的战甲而我却不能...我不想...
我不想……
- 哦上帝，又来了 - 托尼
你又发作了？我甚至都没提纽约
你现在说了，在你说你没提的时候说的
好吧，额，恩
- 天啊，我该怎么办？ - 呼吸，呼吸就好
你是个机械师，对吧？
对
你这么说过
对，我说过
那你为什么不再造点儿什么呢？
好的
谢了孩子
这里怎么这么热？我告诉过你调到68华氏度
又是我的错...听着，甜心，我不是你的私人……
二十分钟之内我都不会进去的！
你俩谁是凡妮莎？
我是
啊，妮西
- 你知不知道幸运饼干根本不是中国产的？ - 那边有个人……
它们是美国人按照日本的配方做出来的
嘿！
- 该死，该死 - 别动
如果你想要什么东西，尽管拿
虽然那些枪都是假的，因为那些混蛋信不过我，不肯给真家伙
- 什么？ - 嘿，你喜欢哪个姑娘么？
够了
你不是他，不是满大人，真身在哪儿？！
满大人在哪儿？他在哪儿？ - 他就在这里。他在这里。
- 但他不在这里。他在这里，又不在这里 - 你什么意思？
这很复杂，嘿，很复杂，是吧？
- 确实 - 这很复杂
那就让它变得不复杂。女士们出去，下床，到盥洗室去
坐下。
我的名字是特雷弗，特雷弗·斯莱特里
你是做什么的？
- 你是个幌子？你是个替身，是么？ - 什么？不。候补演员？绝对不是
不要弄伤我的脸！我是个演员
你有一分钟的时间活命，解释清楚
这只是一个角色
“满大人”只是个角色，懂么，不是真的
那你是怎么到这里来的，特雷弗？
恩，好吧
我有点儿小……问题
额...毒品问题...我开始...别无选择地
在街上干了些不该干的事 - 然后呢！
然后，他们来找我演这出戏，而且他们知道我吸毒
- 他们说了什么，能帮你戒毒？ - 他们说会给我更多
他们给我很多东西，给了我这个宫殿
他们给我整容，他们给我很多东西……
你就睡着了吗？
不，还有那艘极棒的快艇。事实是，他需要某个人
为某些“意外爆炸”负责
“他”？
基连？- 基连
- 他创造了你？ - 他创造了我
- 订制的恐怖袭击 - 对！
对，他的智囊团想出来的，连环杀手病理学
巧妙的运用西方肖像学
准备好上下一堂课了吗？等等等等
当然，是我的表演赋予了满大人生命
你的表演？
有人送命的表演？
不 没人死啊
不，不，看看你周围，戏服、绿色幕布
说实话，有一半的拍摄我都不在实地。当我在的时候，那都是“电影的魔法”
抱歉，但我最好的朋友仍在深度昏迷之中，而且很可能醒不过来
你要为此负责，你依然有麻烦，伙计
好了，特雷弗，你跟他说了什么？
- 我什么都没说 - 什么都没说？
- 没 - 你该按下应急按钮
对，我是恐慌了，但我后来克服住了
- 就像以前一样，恩？ - 哦对，还带玩捆绑游戏的。这太有趣了。
- 那是我的主意 - 哦，所以你拿了基里安的名片
- 我拿了他的钱 - 而十三年后，你在一个地牢里
- 不是这样的 - 是么
- 不，是你在地牢里，而我想走就能走 - 对...
发生了很多事，托尼
我就要成功了
- 绝境生物很稳定 - 我告诉你根本不稳定
我在街上看到了，人们会“砰”的一声爆炸
鲜血溅得满墙都是。玛雅，你在骗自己
那就帮我改进它
那是我写的？
- 是的 - 我只记得晚上的事，不记得第二天早上
这就是你一直在追求的吗？
- 你不记得了吗？ - 我没法帮你
你曾经有道德观
你曾经有理想
你曾乐于助人
看看现在的你
而我每天清晨和一个仍然拥有美好心灵的人……一同醒来
帮助我逃出这里
来吧
你知道我老爹曾对我说过什么吗？
他最喜欢的谚语之一是
早起的鸟儿有虫吃，第二个起床的老鼠有奶酪
- 你仍然为瑞士的事生气，是不是？ - 我怎会生你的气，托尼？
我想要感谢你，你给了我别人没给过的最棒的礼物
绝望
如果你回想瑞士的事。你说过你会在天台见我，对吧？
开始的二十分钟我确实以为你会来。
但是接下来的一小时，我……
我考虑过迈出一步直接走捷径到大厅
如果你知道我的意思
说实话，其实我还在想第一个起床的老鼠身上发生了什么
但当我俯瞰整个城市
没人知道我在那儿，没人得看见我，甚至没人会抬头看我一眼
我有了一个想法，它在接下来的许多年中指引着我
幕后黑手，托尼
多亏了你，这个词变成了我的口头禅
你只要在幕后掌控一切就好
因为当你给了恶魔一张脸
像本拉登
卡扎菲，满大人
- 就等于给了人们一个仇恨的对象 - 你真是出类拔萃
- 我猜你已经见过他了对吧？ - 嗯，劳伦斯·奥利维尔男爵
我知道他有时有点过火……不全是我的错
他有这种倾向……他是个舞台演员
他们说他演的李尔王是克里登地区最棒的，随便啦
总之，重点是自从那个举着大锤子的家伙从天而降
含蓄就不再流行了
你的接下来想怎样？
我想把当初你慷慨送我的礼物送还给你
绝望
这是现场直播。我不知道你发现没有
在这一刻她的身体正在决定成为绝境生物还是就此放弃
如果它放弃了
我不得不说场面一定很壮观
但是在那一刻之前，过程真的非常痛苦
我们甚至还没有谈报酬
你打算付我多少小费？
放他走
冷静，冷静
- 玛雅 - 我说，放他走！
你在做什么?
一千两百毫升，一半的剂量足以杀死我
这种时刻真是考验我的脾气
玛雅，把注射器给我
如果我死了，基连
你的士兵和产品怎么办？
- 我们别玩这套，好吗？ - 你怎么办？你过热了怎么办？
好消息是
一个高级职位刚刚空出来
- 你是个疯子 - 不，我是个野心家
但是我手里确实有个疯子
今晚他将登场
当我们拿到钢铁爱国者，我只要九到十分钟便完成任务
说得真好，但上次我看到里面还有个人
先生们，下午好
你好，上校
让开
- 别担心，我们会把你弄出来的 - 你会破坏战甲的
是的我会，但是你可以修好它吧？
我要把战甲带到大本营去，波茨也要跟我一起走
她还在第二阶段呢
你没变聋子吧?
小心点儿，那可是限量版的
嘿，嗯，扎马尾辫的
- 从田纳西到迈阿密有多远 - 832英里
很好
我就是在这方面很在行
- 你能把它关上么 - 弄坏了你得赔
好吧，那其实不是我的表，是我朋友的妹妹的
这就是为什么我要先杀你了
- 你能把我怎么着 - 你会知道的
- 你可是被塑料扎带绑在床上呢 - 这样
那样
你还出来啊？
- 别打开，别打开，别别别 - 好了，来吧
你...你会喷火？ 好吧
萨万，这真是荣耀的一天
明天的这个时候，我就能一手掌握着西方世界最有权利的领导人
另一手控制着全世界最令人畏惧的恐怖分子了
我将会控制反恐战争
为你和你的兄弟姐妹们创造供求
相信我，你马上就要倒在一滩血水里了 五 四 三 快出现啊！二
我们怎么摊上这么一个活宝
好吧，我给你们一个逃命的机会，把你们的武器放下
然后自己把自己绑在椅子上，我就放你们一条生路 我给你们五秒钟，四秒 嘭
- 你们现在应该已经跑了才对 早就该跑了 - 我吓得都不敢跑了
马上要就来了啊
三，四
- 闭嘴 - 五四三二一
我早说过
剩下的都去哪儿了
说实话，我讨厌在这儿工作...他们太奇怪了
晚来总比不来强
别又来一次！不要又是面具出错！
- 呼，回来真好 顺便说一句，你好 - 哦，你好，先生
所有人员注意，斯塔克逃到了院子里
重复：斯塔克逃到了院子里
啊，废物
- 托尼 - 罗迪，告诉我在战衣里那个人是你
- 不是，你拿回你的了 - 嗯，算是吧 主楼见面，越快越好
我想让你见个人
你还有你，出去！出去！
- 房间安全 我看住满大人了 - 这是什么？我拿到了赢家的拍子
- 你来干嘛 - 你敢乱动我就打穿你的脸
我没想过有人会受伤 他们骗了我
- 这就是满大人 - 我懂，这，这挺尴尬的
你好，我叫特雷弗，特雷弗·斯莱特里
我知道我本人看起来比较矮，体型有点儿小，大家都这么说，但是呢，嗯，嘿，
如果你是来抓我的，我想供几个人出来
不如这样，大演员 你告诉他佩珀在哪儿，他就会停下来
停下什么 ？啊，好疼啊！我知道了，知道了
我不知道佩珀的事，但我知道他们的计划 I do not know about any Pepper， but I know about the plan
- 说吧 - 你知不知道他们把我的战甲怎么了
你说什么 不知道，但是我知道他们要在海岸动手
计划和一艘大船有关系 我可以带你们去
啊呀呀球进了！！！！
托尼，我跟你发誓，我非把他整张脸轰了不可
哦，他们的下一步应该是跟副总统有关
这算重要么
- 算吧 - 好吧，有一点儿
- 所以呢 - 我们能怎么办 我们连交通工具都没有
嘿，英国佬，你刚才是不是提到过一艘"可爱的快艇"
如果他说的地址没错，我们离佩珀的所在地还有20分钟的路程
但是副总统的事我们也得查一查，对吧
正想着我是在给谁打电话呢... 噢，原来是副总统啊
- 你好 - 先生，我是托尼史塔克
很高兴听见你还活着
我们相信您将要被卷进满大人的计划里了
我们得尽快把你送到安全的地方去
斯塔克先生，我正被最优秀的特工们保护着，准备吃蜂蜜烤火腿
总统在空军一号飞机上安全地跟罗德上校在一起
- 我觉得我们没什么危险 - 先生，我是罗德上校
他们打算把钢铁爱国者当特洛伊木马，然后绑架总统
我们要立刻向飞机上发出警告
好吧，我马上去 我会让安全局采取措施
如果需要，F-22在三十秒内就能就能升空 谢谢你，上校
罗德和斯塔克通话完毕
一切都好么，先生
好得不能再好了
我爱你，小宝贝
罗德上校 很高兴看见你来了，年轻人
我现在就觉得安全多了
我们得做个决定 总统和佩珀不能兼顾
先生，有一条来自马里布的更新消息
起重机总算到了，他们现在正在清理地下室的门
- 我的战甲情况怎么样 - 能量补充已完成92%
这不够也得凑合了
- 哦，他来了，他来了，快给我拍张照 - 没问题
有什么事吗，上校？
见到您是我的荣幸，总统先生
如果你要动手就动手吧
别急啊，总统先生
这可不是满大人的风格
长官
空军一号被劫持了
- 机舱内发生抢战，温度升高 - 马上给我看
正在传输图像，长官
那是罗德么
有人吗？
放我们出去！
总统在哪儿 说！
他不在这儿
尝尝急流的滋味吧 说到这，去钓个“鱼”试试看
你不是很厉害么，混蛋
- 空中有多少人 - 13个，先生
- 我能带起几个 - 4个，先生
慢点慢点，放松 你叫什么？ 海瑟
听着 看见那个人了么 我会从他旁边飞过 你只要拉住他就行了
- 明白了么 - 什么
我会给你的胳膊通电 这样你就不会松手了 我们能做到的，海瑟
很简单，对吧 就剩十一个了
记得那个叫猴子捞月的游戏么 我们就是要照那样做
一万八千英尺
来吧，大家，抓住你的猴子
干得好
一万英尺
六千英尺
加油，各位
加油，加油，加油
太棒了
一千英尺
八百英尺 四百英尺 还有两百英尺，先生
那是只胖胖的猴子，我们去抓住他
你好啊
干得好，伙计们 棒极了 很好的团队合作 我们太棒了
好了，贾维斯，但是任务只完成了一半 我们还得去救佩——
那是从哪儿冒出来的
- 告诉我点好消息吧，伙计 - 我觉得他们都获救了
- 谢天谢地 - 没错，但是我没找到总统
你穿着战甲都救不了总统，现在什么都没了要怎么救佩珀
- 嗯，贾维斯，到时候了么 - 先生，您是指"家庭大派对"吗？
没错
嗨
你以为他会帮你么...
他不会的
抓你来不仅仅是为了刺激托尼·斯塔克
实际上比那要尴尬得多
你在这是要当我的，嗯……
战利品
晚上好，先生
欢迎登船，总统先生
你听说过大象墓地么
两年前，这艘船就是那头大象
这是劳克森油船
你一定记得她在彭沙科拉泄露了1亿加仑的原油吧
多亏了你，没有一个责任人因为这件事被告上法庭
你到底想怎么样
嗯，不想怎么样，先生
我只需要一个漂亮的理由在电视里公开处决你
你看，我已经重新开始了 我找到了另一个政治靠山
明天的这个时候他就会接替你的职务了
把他吊起来
快来
- 你不会在这儿犯焦虑症吧？ - 希望不会
哦，天啊
- 总统被吊在储油罐上面 他们要烧死他，伙计 - 维京式葬礼
- 公共处决 - 是啊，被石油烧死
直播马上开始，各就各位
好了，棒极了 现在把摄影机A-E的画面都调出来，来一遍全程技术彩排
你的枪上膛了没有
上了，我该做什么?
- 呆在我六点钟的方向，掩护高处，别朝我开枪 - 六点方向，高处，背后 好吧
- 看见没？我打中了 - 是啊，你是把玻璃打掉了
我是在瞄准灯泡呢 这种距离很难打到灯泡的
- 我没子弹了，你有多余的弹夹么？ - 弹夹不是通用的，托尼
我知道我在做什么 我就是做这东西的 再给我一匣子弹
- 我没有能配那把枪的 - 你有五个弹夹呢
好吧，我的计划是这样的 我要观察一下他们 准备好了么
- 看见什么了 - 太快了，什么都没看见 再来一次
三个男的，一个女的，都有武器
天呐，我现在真想要身战甲
- 你说的没错 我们需要后援 - 是啊，需要很多
你知道么
- 是那个吗？ - 没错
- 全部都是？ - 对
圣诞快乐，老兄
贾维斯，瞄准绝境生物的热源讯号，进行毁灭性摧毁
遵命
你还等什么，圣诞节到了
送他们上西天
先生们
贾维斯，让伊戈尔稳住平台
- 这就是你没事做的东西啊? - 谁都得有个爱好嘛
破心者，去帮帮红鲤鱼好么？
- 时间刚好 - 哦是啊，棒极了 给我一套盔甲吧，好吗？
不好意思，这是量身定做的
- 那是什么意思 - 我来掩护你
- 晚上好，上校 我能载你一程么 - 真有趣
- 先生，我定位到波茨小姐了 - 是时候了
停下，把它放下，放下
跟我的前女友一起玩就是这个下场
- 你真是个混蛋 - 好吧 晚饭的时候再讨论这个
来吧，再加把劲，宝贝儿
这家伙是在骚扰你么
别起来
里面热不热？
卡住了？觉得被困住了？
象一只小乌龟一样 缩着头躲在他的小龟壳里
托尼……
她正看着呢
我觉得你应该闭上眼睛
闭上眼睛
闭上吧，你不想看到这些的
没错，你休息一会儿吧
贾维斯，马上给我一套战甲
啊，拜托
总统先生！坚持一下好吗？我马上来
坚持一下，坚持住
再见
准备好
总统先生 ，你看起来帅毙了，但我得拿回那套战甲
托尼，总统先生安全了，我准备撤离了
干得好
- 准备好了么，先生 - 准备什么
佩珀，我来了。放松，我来了。看着我！
亲爱的，我够不到更远的地方了，你不能呆在那儿，你得放手
你得放手，我会接住你的，我保证
不！
真可惜啊 要是我的话肯定能接住她
弹出!
我们总算是在楼顶见面了
-马克42归队 - 真不容易
浪子回头啊
太不争气了
你真配不上她，托尼
太可惜了 我差一点儿就能让她...完美了
等等等等，冷静，冷静
你是对的 我配不上她
但有一件事你是错的
她已经是完美的了
贾维斯
帮我炸了马克42
不！！！
没有所谓的替身
你说你想要找满大人，他就在你的面前
一直都是我，托尼，一开始就是 我就是满大人
我词穷了
贾维斯，我十二点方向的不是目标，解除目标
干嘛？ 哦，你生我气了？
亲爱的
我的天啊
我刚才真是太暴力了
你刚才吓死我了 我以为你已经……
我已经死了？为什么？因为我从两百英尺高的地方掉下去了？
- 现在我俩的情况谁更糟？ - 不分上下
可能更倾向你那边 你在家怎么不这么穿
嗯？运动内衣什么的
你知道么，我想我现在能理解你为什么不愿意放弃战甲了
我现在还有什么可抱怨的
都怪我啊
你会想出点什么来抱怨的
- 别碰我，我会烧伤你的 - 不会的
你不烫
我会没事的吧
不，只要你还是我女朋友，就不可能会没事
但是我觉得我能解决这事
二十年前我喝醉的时候就研究过这个 我想我能治好你
我就是干这个的嘛 修理东西的
就像你修理那些“消遣”
我会减少一些了
贾维斯
- 嘿 - 全部都搞定了，还有什么要吩咐的吗？
你知道要做什么
启动清理程序么，先生
不管了，这是圣诞节嘛 是的，去做吧
现在怎么样 你喜欢么
喜欢
于是，当圣诞节的早上开始时，我的旅程就此走到了尽头
开始都是都很单纯，很令人兴奋的东西
然后出现了错误
妥协
我们创造了自己的恶魔
见到你们很高兴
就像我承诺过的一样，我花费了不少功夫治好了佩珀
但是之后我想
“为什么在这儿停下呢？”
当然，有人会说手术过程是危险的
但我打赌那些蠢货们没有一个胸口插满了弹片活过
而现在...我也没有了
让我告诉你吧：那是我这几年来睡得最香的一次
没事的，没事的
所以，如果让我做个总结的话
我想，我得说我的战甲从来都不是一种消遣或者爱好
它是一个茧
现在
我是个全新的人了
你可以夺走我的房子
还有我所有的把戏和玩具
有一件事你无法改变
电影最后有彩蛋，请不要错过~
真是谢谢你一直听着我发牢骚
把这些从心里抒发出来
把它吐露出来而不是憋在肚子里感觉真好
我的意思是，憋着总是很让人不爽，你知道么？
哇呜，我以前都没觉得你是这么好的一位倾听者
能把我的个人想法和经历分享给其他人
着实让我轻松不少
就像是蛇吞下自己的尾巴一样，一切都成了一个循环
而且...事实上你能帮我理清...
- 然后呢...呃？ - 你还在听我说么？
当然，呃，咱们刚才说到...呃...
- 你是故意在打盹吗？ - 我...我刚刚...呃...我走神了
你从哪儿开始睡着的？
你讲到在瑞士的电梯里的故事...
所以你就是什么也没听到对吧！
对不起，我不是医生是博士，我不是治疗师
- 那不是我的专业 而且我也没有...- 所以呢？
- 没有什么？时间？ - 那种好脾气
啊，我现在想起来了，我最初的创伤...在1983年，是吧？
- 是... - 我都14岁了，居然还有个保姆？那可真怪...
A famous man once said we create our own demons.
Who said that? What does that even mean?
Doesn't matter, I said it cause he said it.
So now he was famous and that's basically get said by two well known guys.
I don't, uh...I'm gonna start again.
IRON MAN 3
Let's track this from the beginning.
Yo listen up, here's a story about a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue like him inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window and a blue Corvette
and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen
Half-hour 'till the ball drops.
Tony Stark, great speech man!
I gave a speech?
How was it?
- Edifying. - Unintelligible.
Really? That's my favorite kind, a winning combo.
- Hey, uh, where are we going? - Uh, to town on each other, probably back at your house.
I want to see your research.
Okay, you can see my research, but that's... I'm not going to show you my "town".
- Mr. Stark, Ho Yinsen. - Hey, I finally met a man called Ho.
I'd like to introduce you to our guest, Doctor Wu.
- Oh this guy. - Mr. Stark.
- Hey. - Ni Hao
you're a heart doctor, she's going to need a cardiologist
Perhaps another time?
It started in Bern, Switzerland 1999
The old days
I never thought they'd come back to bite me
Why would they?
Hey Tony! Aldrich Killian, I'm a big fan of your work.
- My work? - Who is he? He means me.
Well, of course,but
Miss Hansen,my organization has been tracking your research since year two of M.I.T.
Oh wow, he made it. He made the cut.
- What floor you going to, pal? - Well now, that is an appropriate question.
The ground floor, actually. I've a proposal I'm putting together myself.
It's a privately-funded think tank called "Advanced Idea Mechanics"
She'll take both. One to throw away and one to not call.
"Advanced Idea Mechanics" or AIM for short, you get it?
I see that 'cause it's on your t-shirt.
Ladies, follow the mullet. Ladies first.
Thank you. I'll call you.
I am titillated by the notion of working with you.
I'm going to ditch these clowns; I'll see you up on the roof in five minutes.
I'm just going to try to get my beef wet real quick if you know what I'm talkin' about.
I'll see you up there!
Damn betcha.
- Come on; I thought that was just a theory. - Well... it was
If I'm right, we can access the area of the brain that governs repair and chemically recode it.
That's incredible.
Essentially, you're hacking into the genetic operating system of a living organism.
Exactly.
- Can you not touch my plant? - What?
- It's not... she doesn't like it. She perfers
She's not like the others. Come on, let's go to the bedroom.
- Happy, leave her ficus alone. - No, seriously, don't
- And you're starting with plants? - For now, yes.
- I'm calling it "Extremis" - Well, its - human application - Exactly!
It's dentra-degree vitalization
Disease prevention
Even limb regrowth
- You're the most gifted woman I've ever met - Wow...
- In Switzerland - That's better.
This week
You almost bought it, didn't you?
- This is what I'm talking about, the glitch. - Have you checked the telomerase algorithm?
- We're good. - Stay down
You're right on me...
What the hell was that?
- It's a glitch in my work... - She was just talking about it. Glitches happen.
- Oh, it's not Y2K...
- Hey, Happy New Year - Happy New Year
- Happy New Year - Alright, I'll see you in the morning, okay? Good night.
You good? - Yep. - I'll be right outside. - Okay, cool.
So, why am I telling you this? Because I had just created demons
And I didn't even know it.
Yeah, those were good times.
Then I moved on.
After a brief soiree in an Afghan cave, I said "Goodbye" to the party scene.
I forgot that night in Switzerland.
These days I'm a changed man.
- 46 - I'm different now.
- I'm... well, you know who I am. - 47
...Sir, please may I request just a few hours to
- calibrate - Nope!48
Ah!
Micro-repeater implanting sequence complete!
As you wish, sir. I've also prepared a safety briefing for you to enitrely ignore.
Which I will.
Alright, let's do this.
Dummy
Hi Dummy. How did you get that cap on your head? You earned it.
Hey. Hey!
What are you doing out of the corner? You know what you did.
Blood on my mat; handle it.
Sir, may I remind you that you've been awake for nearly 72 hours
Focus up ladies.
Good evening. And welcome to the birthing suite.
I am pleased to announce the imminent arrival of your bouncing, badass baby brother.
Start titan and go white. Stamp date and time.
Mark 42 autonomous prehensile propulsion suit test
Initialize sequence.
Jarvis - drop my needle
Crap
Alright, I think we got this. Send them all.
Probably just a little fast... slow it down. Slow it down just a... little bit.
Cool it, will you Jarvis?
Come on.
I ain't scared of you.
I'm the best
As always sir, a great pleasure watching you work.
I guess 72 hours is a long time between siestas
Didn't think it could get any worse
Then I had to go and turn on the TV.
That's when 'He' happened.
Some people call me a terrorist
I consider myself a teacher
America...
Ready for another lesson.
In 1864 in Sand Creek, Colorado,
The U.S. military waited until the friendly Cheyenne Braves had all gone hunting
Waited to attack and slaughter the families left behind
And claim their land
39 hours ago, the Ali Al Salem Air Base in Kuwait was attacked.
I...I did that.
A quaint military church, filled with wives and children of course
The soliders were out on manuvers.
The "Braves" were away.
President Ellis, you continue to resist my attempts to educate you, sir.
And now, you've missed me again
You know who I am. You don't know where I am
And you'll never see me coming.
and now that we seem to be back, let's recap some of the frightening developments in this story.
American airways were hijacked.
The nation remains on high alert.
All attempts to find the Mandarin have so far proved unsuccessful.
Central to my administration's response to this terrorist event is a newly-minted resource.
I know him as Colonel James Rhodes.
The American people will soon know him as the Iron Patriot.
And how is President Ellis responding?
By taking the guy they call "War Machine" and giving him a paint job
The same suit but painted red, white, and blue, look at that
And they've also renamed him Iron Patriot
You know, just in case the paint was too subtle
It tested well with focus groups, alright?
- I am Iron Patriot.Son. - Listen.
War Machine was a little too aggressive, alright. This sends a better message.
So what's really going on? The Mandarin
Seriously, can we talk about this guy?
It's classified information, Tony.
Okay, there've been nine bombings
- Nine... - The public only knows about three.
But here's the thing... nobody can ID a device.
- There's no bomb casings - You know I can help
Just ask.
I got a ton of new tech.I got a prehensile suit. I got bomb disposal.
Catches explosions mid-air
- When's the last time you got a good night's sleep? - Einstein sleeps 3 hous a year.
People are concerned about you, Tony. I'm concerned about you.
- You gonna come at me like that? - No, look, I'm not trying to be a dic-
- tator. - Would you mind signing my drawing?
- If Richard doesn't mind. You alright with this, Dick? - Yeah,fine with me.
- What is your name? - Erin.
I loved you in "A Christmas Story" ,By the way.
Listen, the Pentagon is scared.
After what happened in New York... aliens, come on.
They need to look strong.
- Stopping the Mandarin is a priority, but it's not - It's not superhero business.
No, it's not, quite frankly.
It's American business.
Are you okay?
- I broke the crayon. - Are you okay, Mr. Stark?
Take it easy. Tony...
....How did you get out of the wormhole?
- Wait a minute, Tony - What'd you say?!
Sorry. Have to check on the suit... make sure...
Check the heart, check the, check the, is it the brain?
No sign of cardiac anomalies or unusual brain activity
Okay, so I was poisoned?
My diagnosis is that you've experienced a severe anxiety attack.
Me?
- Come on man, this isn't a good look. Open up. - Sorry, I gotta split.
Badge... badge... badge
Badge, guys. I put a memo in the toliet; come on.
Tony has got them in his basement, they're wearing party hats, this is an asset we can put to use
Uh-huh. So, you're suggesting that I replace the entire janitorial staff with robots? Thank you.
What I'm saying is that the human element of Human Resources is our biggest point of vulnerability
We should start phasing it out immediately.
- What!? - Excuse me, Bambi
- Did you just say that? - Security
Happy, okay, I am thrilled that you're now the Head of Security,
- okay; it is the perfect position for you. - Thank you
- However, - I do appreciate it
- Since you've taken the post, - You don't have to thank me.
We've had a rise in staff complaints of 300 percent
- Thank you. - That's not a compliment.
"That's not a compliment"? It is a compliment! Clearly somebody is trying to hide something.
- Excuse me. - Yes? - Miss Potts, your four o'clock is here.
- Did you clear this four o'clock with me? - Happy, we'll talk about this later
But right now I have to go deal with this very annoying thing.
How so?
I used to work with him, and he used to ask me out all the time, so it's a little awkward.
I don't like the sound of that.
- Pepper. - Killian?
You look great... you look really great.
God, you look great. I... I... I can't... what on Earth have you been doing?
Nothing fancy, just five years in the hands of physical therapists
And please, call me Aldrich.
- Uh, you were supposed to be issued a security badge - Happy, it's okay.
-Yes? - We're good.
- You sure? - Yes.
- Stand down. - I'm going to linger.Right here
- Thank you. - okay.
It's very nice to see you, Killian.
Hey, guy
Merry Christmas
After years dodging the president's ban on "immoral biotech research",
My think tank now has a little something in the pipeline.
It's an idea we like to call "Extremis".
I'm gonna turn your lights down.
Regard the human brain
Uh, wait, hold on, hold on; that's, that's the universe, my bad.
But if I do that...
That's the brain, strangely memetic though, wouldn't you say?
Wow, that's amazing! - Thanks, it's mine.
- What? - This... you're inside my head.
It's a live feed. Come on up, I'll prove it to you.
Come on.
Now, pinch my arm. I can take it. Pinch me.
What is that? - It's the primary somatosensory cortex
The brain's pain center, but this... is what I wanted to show you.
Now, "Extremis" harnesses our bioelectrical potential
And it goes... here.
This is essentially an empty slot, and what this tells us is that our mind,
- our entire DNA in fact, is destined to be upgraded. - Wow.
- Hello? - Is this forehead of Security?
What? You know, look, I got a real job. What do you want? I'm working;
- I got something going on here. - What? Harassing interns?
Let me tell you something, you know what happened
when I told people I was Iron Man's bodyguard? They would laugh in my face.
I had to leave while I still had a shred of dignity.
Now I got a real job; I'm watching Pepper.
What's going on? Fill me in.
- For real? - Yeah.
Alright, so she's meeting up with this scientist... rich guy, handsome
- Right. - I couldn't make his face at first
- And you know I'm good with faces. - Oh yeah, you're the best.
Yeah, so I run his credentials, I make him. Aldrich Killian.
We actually met the guy... where were we in 1999? The science conference?
- Switzerland. - Right, right, exactly.
Killian,not, I don't remember that guy
Of course you don't remember; he's not a blonde with a big rack.
At first it was fine, they were talking business,
but now it's like getting weird... he's showing her his big brain.
- His what? - Big brain, and she likes it.
Here, let me show you. Hold on. See?
Look at what? You watching them? Flip the screen and then we can get started.
I'm not a tech genius like you, just trust me, get down here.
- Flip the screen, then I can see what they're doing. - I can't, I don't know how to flip the screen!
Don't talk to me like that anymore. You're not my boss.
Alright, I don't work for you, and I don't trust this guy. He's got another guy with him; he's shifty.
- Relax. - Seriously?
I'm just asking you to secure the perimeter. Tell him to go out for a drink or something.
You know what? You should take more of an interest in what's going on here.
This woman is the best thing that ever happened to you
- And you're just ignoring her. - A giant brain?
Yeah, there's a giant brain, there's a shifty character...
I'm going to follow this guy. I'm going to run his plates and if it gets rough, so be it.
- I miss you, Happy. - Yeah, I miss you too but the way it used to be.
Now you're off with the 'superfriends'...
I don't know what's going on with you anymore.The world's gettin' weird
- Hey I hate to cut you off, do you have your taser on you? - Why?
I think there's a gal in HR who is trying to steal some printer ink.
- You should probably go over there and zap her. - Yeah, nice.
Imagine if you could hack into the hard drive of any living organism and recode its DNA
It would be incredible.
Unfortunately, to my ears it also sounds highly weaponizable
As in enhanced soldiers, private armies, and Tony is not-
Tony, Tony
You know, I invited Tony to join AIM 13 years ago
And he turned me down
But something tells me now there is a new genius on the throne,
who doesn't have to answer to Tony anymore and who has slightly less of an ego.
It's going to be a "no", Aldrich...
as much as I'd like to help you.
I can't say that I'm not disappointed,
but as my father used to say"Failure is the fog through which we glimpse triumph."
It's very deep, and I have no idea what it means.
Well, he was kind of an idiot, my old man.
I'm sure I'll see you again, Pepper.
Happy
The car is ready... if you're ready to go.
Yes, I just um, God, I forgot my other thing so I'm just gonna...
I'm sorry I'm late. I was... what is that?!
You're wearing this in the house now? What is that, like Mark 15?
Yeah, something like that. You know everybody needs a hobby.
Oh, and you have to wear your hobby in the living room?
Just breaking it in, you know, it's always a little pinchy in the gooey bag at first.
Oh hey, did you see your Christmas present?
Yes, I did. I don't know how I could have missed that Christmas present.
- Is it gonna fit through the door? - Well actually, uh, that's a good question,
I got a team of guys coming tomorrow. They're gonna blow out that wall.
So, uh, tense? Good day?
Oh shoulders, a little naughty. Naughty girl.
I don't want to harp on this, but did you like the custom rabbit?
- Did I like it? - Nailed it, right?
Wow.I appreciate the thought very much. So why don't you lift up that facemask and give me a kiss.
Huh, yup, damnit. No can do.
You want to just kiss it on the, uh, facial slit?
Why don't I run down to the garage and see if I can find a crowbar to jimmy that thing open?
A crowbar? Yeah... Oh, except there's been a radiation leak.
- I'll take my chances. - That's risky
At least let me get you like a Hazmat suit
or a Geiger counter or something like that
- Busted. - This is a new level of lame.
- Sorry. - You ate without me, already? On date night?
- He was just - You mean you
Well yeah, I just mean we were just... just hosting you while I finished up a little work.
And yes, I had a quick bite. I didn't know if you were coming home
Or you were having drinks with Aldrich Killian.
- What? - What?
Aldrich Killian? What are you checking up on me?
- Happy was concerned - No, you're spying on me.
- I'm going to bed. - Hold on. Come on.
Pep-
Hey, I admit it! My fault. Sorry.
I'm a piping hot mess.
It's been going on for a while... I haven't said anything.
Nothing's been the same since New York.
Oh really? I didn't notice that, at all.
You experience things and then they're over and you still can't explain them.
Gods, aliens, other dimensions... I'm just a man in a can.
The only reason I haven't cracked up is probably because you've moved in.
Which is great. I love you; I'm lucky.
But honey... I can't sleep.
You go to bed, I come down here. I do what I know;
I tinker.
The threat is imminent.
And I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without...
That's you.
And my suits; they're uh...
- Machines. - They're part of me.
A distraction.
Maybe
I'm gonna take a shower.
Okay.
And you're going to join me.
- Better.
Tony!
Power down!
I must have called it in my sleep... that's not supposed to happen.
I'll recalibrate the sensors.
Can we just...Just let me...
catch my breath, okay? Don't go, alright? Pepper?
I'm going to sleep downstairs. Tinker with that.
- Can you regulate? - Yes, I can regulate.
- Are you sure about that? - Yes.
It's a decent batch.
- Don't say I never did nothing for you. - Thank you...
I mean for understanding.
Ah, I'm sorry, buddy.
How ya doing, buddy?
You out by yourself? A little date night? Watching your favorite chick flick maybe?
Yeah, a little movie called "The Party's Over"
Starring you and your junkie girlfriend, and here's the ticket
No kidding... that doesn't belong to you.
Savin! Help! Help me!
A true story about fortune cookies
They look Chinese. They sound Chinese.
But they're actually an American invention
Which is why they're hollow,
full of lies,
and leave a bad taste in the mouth
My disciples just destroyed another cheap American knock-off
The Chinese Theater.
Mr. President,
I know this must be getting frustrating
But this season of terror is drawing to a close
And don't worry... the big one is coming: your graduation.
- Hi. - Oh, uh
- Mind leaving that on? - Sure.
Sunday night's PBS "Downtown Abbey"
That's the show. He thinks it's elegant.
One more thing... make sure everyone wears their badges.
He's a stickler for that sort of thing, plus my guys won't let anyone in without them.
We're awaiting the arrival of Tony Stark. We're hoping he'll give us the reaction...
His reaction to the latest attack.
Mr. Stark!
Our sources are telling us that this is another Mandarin attack.
Anything else you can tell us?
Hey Mr. Stark! When is somebody going to kill this guy?
Just sayin'.
Is that what you want?
Here's a little Holiday greeting I've been wanting to send to the Mandarin.
I just didn't know how to phrase it until now.
My name is Tony Stark and I'm not afraid of you
I know that you're a coward so I've decided
That you just died, pal.
I'm gonna come get the body.
There's no politics here; it's just good, old-fashioned revenge.
There's no Pentagon; it's just you and me.
And on the off-chance you're a man, here's my home address:
10880, Malibu Port, 90265.
I'll leave the door unlocked. That's what you wanted, right?
Bill me.
I've compiled a Mandarin database for you, sir,
Drawn from S.H.I.E.L.D., F.B.I., and C.I.A. intercepts.
Initiating virtual crime scene reconstruction.
Okay,
what do we got here?
His name is an ancient Chinese war mantle, meaning "advisor to the King"
South American insurgency tactics
Talks like a Bapist preacher
There's lots of pagentry going on here... lots of theatre.
- Close. - The heat from the blast was in excess of 3000 degrees Celsius.
Any subjects within 12.5 yards were vaporized instantly.
- No bomb parts found in a 3-mile radius of the Chinese theatre. - No, sir.
Talk to me, Happy.
What is a bomb not a bomb?
- Any military victims? - Not according to public records, sir.
Bring up the thermogenic signatures again, factor in 3000 degrees
The oracle cloud has completed analysis.
Accessing satellites and plotting the last 12 months of thermogenic occurances now.
Take away everywhere that there's been a Mandarin attack.
Nope.
That. You sure that's not one of his?
It predates any known Mandarin attack.
The incident was the use of a bomb to assist a suicide.
Bring it around.
The heat signature is remarkably similar.Three thousand degrees Celsius.
That's two military guys...
Ever been to Tennessee, Jarvis?
Creating a flight plan for Tennessee.
Are we still at "ding-dong"? We're supposed to be on total security lockdown.
Come on, I threatened a terrorist. Who is that?
There's only so much I can do, sir, when you give the world's press your home address.
Right there's fine.
You're not the Mandarin, are you?
Are you?
You don't remember.
- Why I am not surprised? - Don't take it personally, I don't remember what I had for breakfast.
Gluten-free waffles, sir. - That's right.
Look, I need to be alone with you, someplace not here... it's urgent.
Normally, I'd go for that sort of thing, but now I'm in a committed relationship
- It's... with her. - Tony,
- Is somebody there? - Yeah, it's Maya Hansen.
Old botanist pal that I used to know, barely.
Please don't tell me that there is a 12-year-old kid waiting in the car that I've never met.
He's 13. No, I need your help.
What for? Why now?
Because I read the papers, and, frankly, I don't think you'll last the week.
I'll be fine.
I'm sorry.
- With Happy in the hospital, I didn't know we were expecting guests. - We weren't.
- And old girlfriends - She's not really.
No, not really. It was just one night.
Yep.
That's how you did it, isn't it?
- It was a great night. - Well... you know
- Yeah. - You saved yourself a world of pain.
- What? - Trust me. - I'm sure.
We're going out of town.
- Okay, we've been through this. Nope. - Yep!
- The man says no - Immediately and indefinitely.
- Great idea. Let's go. - I'm sorry. That's a terrible idea. Please don't touch her bags.
- Tony, this is how normal people behave. - I can't protect you out there. I challenged-
Is this normal?
- Sadly, that - Yes, this is normal!
- Is very normal - It's a big bunny, relax about it!
- Calm down! - I got this for you.
- I'm aware of that. - You still haven't even told me that you liked it!
- I don't like it! - I asked you three-
You don't like it?!
- We are leaving the house; that's not even up for discussion. - I said no.
- Guys... do we umm... - What?
Do we need to worry about that?
- I got you. - I got you first.
Like I said, we can't stay here.
Move! I'm right behind-
Get her, I'm going to find a way around.
Stop stopping! Get her; get outside!
Go!
Oh my God. Tony!
Sir, Miss Potts is clear of the structure.
- Jarvis, where's my flight power?! - Working on it, sir. This is a prototype.
That's one.
Sir, the suit is not combat-ready.
That's two.
Tony!!
Sir, take a deep breath.
Flight power restored.
Sir.
Sir!
Alright, kill the alarm.I got it.
That's the emergency alert triggered by the power dropping below 5%.
Snow? Where are we, upstate?
We are 5 miles outside of Rose Hills, Tennessee.
Why?!
Jarvis! Not my idea!
What are we doing here;this is thousands of miles away, I've gotta get Pepper, I've got to-
I prepared a flight plan.
This was the location.
Who asked you?
- Open the suit. - I think I may be malfunctioning, sir.
Open it, J
That's brisk!
- Maybe I'll just cozy back up for a bit. - I actually think I need to sleep now, sir.
Jarvis.
Jarvis?
Don't leave me, buddy.
Stark Secure Server: Now transferring to all known receivers.
Pepper, it's me.
I've got a lot of apologies to make and not a lot of time,
so first off I'm so sorry I put you in harm's way.
That was selfish and stupid and it won't happen again.
Also, it's Christmas time. The rabbit's too big.
Done. Sorry.
And I'm sorry in advance because...
I can't come home yet
I need to find this guy.
You gotta stay safe. That's all I know.
I just stole a poncho from a wooden Indian.
Let's get you comfy.
You happy now?
Freeze!
- Don't move. - You got me.
Nice potato gun.
Barrel's a little long.
Between that and the wide gauge, it's going to diminish your FPS
And now you're out of ammo.
What's that thing on your chest?
It's a electromagnet. You should know, you've got a box of them right here.
What does it power?
Oh my God!
- Is that Iron Man? - Technically, I am.
Technically, you're dead.
- A valid point. - What happened to him?
Life. I built him; I take care of him.
I'll fix him.
- Like a mechanic. - Yeah.
If I was building Iron Man and War Machine,
- It's Iron Patriot now. - That's way cooler!
No, it's not.
Anyway, I would have added in the retro-
- Retror flective panels? - To make him stealth mode.
- You want a stealth mode? - Cool, right?
That's actually a good idea.Maybe I'll build one.
Not a good idea!
What are you doing? You're going to break his finger?
He's in pain; he's been injured. Leave him alone.
- Sorry. - Are you?
Don't worry about it; I'll fix it.
So, uh, who's home?
Well, my mom already left for the diner and dad went to 7-11 to get scratchers.
I guess he won 'cause that was six years ago.
Which happens, dads leave. No need to be a pussy about it. Here's what I need:
a laptop, a digital watch, a cell phone,
The pneumatic actuator from your bazooka over there,
a map of town, a big spring, and a tunafish sandwich.
What's in it for me?
Salvation. What's his name?
- Who? - The kid that bullies you at school, what's his name?
How'd you know that?
I got just the thing.
This is a pinata for a cricket.
I'm kidding; it's a very powerful weapon.
Point it away from your face, press the button on top,
It discourages bullying.
Non-lethal. just to cover one's ass.
- Deal. Deal? What'd you say? - Deal.
- What's your name? - Harley
- And you're? - The mechanic
Tony
You know what keeps going through my head?
Where's my sandwich?
Stark Secure Server - Retinal scan verified.
Pepper, it's me.
I've got a lot of apologies to make and not a lot of time, so first off
I'm so sorry I put you in harm's way. That was selfish and stupid and it won't happen again.
Why were you at the house tonight? What was so important that you had to speak to Tony?
I think that my boss is working for the Mandarin.
So if you still want to talk about it, I suggest we get ourselves someplace safe
Your boss works for the Mandarin you think, but Tony says you're a botanist
That figures. What I actually am is a biological DNA coder
running a team of 40 out of a privately-funded think tank,
but sure you can call me a "botanist"
- This boss of yours, does he have a name? - Yeah,Aldrich Killian.
Well we took the house down sir, but there's no sign of a body.
- I see. - No Stark.
I have to go.
The Master is about to record and he's a little...
Well you know how he gets.
Keep your appointment tonight and call me when it's done.
Alright everybody. No talking and no eye contact, unless you wanna get shot in the face.
The Master is travelling.
Well then, what are we waiting for?
The sandwich was fair, the spring was a little rusty, the rest of the materials I'll make do
By the way, when you saidyour sister had a watch
-Yeah - I was kinda hoping for something a little more adult than that
She's six! Anyway, it's limited edition.
- When can we talk about New York? - Maybe never, relax about it.
- What about the Avengers, can you talk about them? - I don't know; later.
Hey kid, give me more space.
What's the official story here?
What happened?
I guess this guy named Chad Davis, used to live roundabouts
Won a bunch of medals in the army,
One day, folks said he went crazy and made, you know, a bomb
Then he blew himself up right here.
- Six people died, right? - Yes.
- Including Chad Davis? - Yea.
Doesn't make sense.
Think about it. Six dead, only five shadows.
Yeah, but people said these shadows are like the mark of souls gone to Heaven
Except the bomb guy, he went to Hell on account of he didn't get a shadow.
- That's why there's only five - Do you buy that?
That's what everyone says.
- You know what this crater reminds me of? - I have no idea; I don't care.
That giant wormhole, in um, in New York.
Does it remind you?
That's manipulative. I don't want to talk about it.
- Are they coming back? The aliens? - Maybe, can you stop?
Remember when I told you that I have an anxiety issue?
- Does this subject make you edgy? - Yeah, a little bit.
Can I just catch my breath for a second?
Are there bad guys in Rose Hills? Do you need a plastic bag to breathe into?
- Do you have medication? - Nope.
- Do you need to be on it. - Probably.
- Do you have PTSD? - I don't think so.
Are you going completely mental? I can stop, do you want me to stop?
Remember when I said to stop doing that? I swear to God, you're going to freak me out.
- Ah man, you did it, didn't you? You happy now? - What did I say?
Hey, wait up! Wait, wait.
What the hell was that?
Your fault, you spazzed me out.
Okay, back to business. Where were we?
The guy who died... relatives? Mom? Mrs. Davis, where is she?
Where she always is.
See, now you're being helpful.
Sorry. Lady
this uh,
Thank you
Nice haircut, suits you.
- Nice watch. - Yeah, limited edition.
Oh, I don't doubt it.
Well have a good evening.
Mrs. Davis,
Mind if I join you?
- Free country. - It sure is.
Alright
Where'd you like to start?
I just want to say I'm sorry about your loss.
I want to know what you think happened
I brought your damn file. You take it and go.
Whatever was in here, he wanted no part of it.
Clearly, you were waiting for someone else. Supposed to meet someone here?
Yeah.
Ms. Davis, your son didn't kill himself;
I guarantee you he didn't kill anyone.
Someone used him.
- What? - As a weapon
You're not the person who called me after all, are you?
Actually, I am.
Hey, hey! What's all this about? The hell's going on here?
It's called an arrest.
- Sheriff, is it? - Yes ma'am, it is. And you are?
- Homeland Security. We good here? - No, we're not good.
I need a little more information than that.
Well, I think it's a little above your pay grade, Sheriff.
Yeah, well, why don't you get on the horn to Nashville and upgrade me?
Alright, you know what, I was hoping to do this the smart way, but uh,
The fun way's always good
Deputy, get this woman and-
Hey hot wings, you wanna party? You and me, let's go.
- Crazy, huh? - Yeah.
Watch this.
You walked right into this one; I've dated hotter chicks than you.
That's all you got? Cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?
Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.
- Let me go! - Help me! Help me!
- Hey kid, what would you like for Christmas? - Mr. Stark, I am so sorry.
No, no, I think he was trying to say "I want my goddamn file."
It's not your fault kid.
Remember what I told you about bullies?
You like that, West World? That's the thing about
We always cover our ass.
You're welcome!
- For what? Did I miss something? - Me saving your life.
A: Saved you first, B: Thanks, sort of
And C: If you do someone a solid, don't be a yutz alright,
just play it cool otherwise you come off grandiose
Unlike you?
Admit it: you need me. We're connected.
What I need is for you to go home, be with your mom, keep your trap shut, guard the suit.
And stay connected to the telephone because if I call you better pick up. Okay?
Can you feel that? We're done here.
Move out of the way or I'm going to run you over.Bye kid.
I'm sorry kid.
- You did good. - So now you're just going to leave you here, like my dad?
Yeah.
- Wait, you're guilt-tripping me, aren't you? - I'm cold
I can tell. You know how I can tell?
'Cause we're connected.
It was worth a shot.
What happened to the picture?
The entire East coast... the satellites are down.
We have an unauthorized broadcast
Mr. Vice President, I think you should see this
Oh my God, not again. Is the President getting this?
Mr. President
Only two lessons remain.
I intend to finish this before Christmas morning.
Meet Thomas Richards. Good strong name, good strong job.
Thomas here is an accountant for the Roxxon Oil Corporation
And I'm sure he's a really good guy.
I'm going to shoot him in the head, live on your television, in 30 seconds.
The number for this telephone is in your cell phone. Exciting, isn't it?
Imagining how it got there
America, if your president calls me in the next half-minute, Tom lives.
Go.
- How did he hack my phone? - We can't allow terrorists to dictate-
- I have to make this call. - I'd strongly advise against that.
This is the right thing to do.
There's just one lesson left, President Ellis, so run away, hide, kiss your children goodbye
Because nothing, not your army, not your red, white, and blue attack dog can save you.
I'll see you soon.
- Tell Rhodes, find this lunatic right now - Sir, we tracked the broadcast signal.
We have a possible point of origin in Pakistan
and the Patriot is ready to strike.
- Right now! - Yes, sir.
Don't move!
Uh, hang on a second.
- Hello. - Ever have a chick straddling you
and you look up, and suddenly she's glowing from the inside out, kind of a bright orange?
- Yeah, I've had that. Who is this? - It's me, pal.
Now last time I went missing, if I remember correctly, you went looking for me.
- What are you doing? - A little knock and talk, making friends in Pakistan. What are you doing?
Your re-design, your big re-brand, that was AIM, right? - Yeah.
I'm gonna find a heavy-duty comsat right now, I need your login.
- Same as it's always been, War Machine 68. - And password please?
- Well, look, I gotta change it every time you hack in, Tony
It's not the eighties, nobody says "hack" anymore, give me your login.
"War Machine Rox" with an X, all caps.
- Yeah okay. - That is so much better than Iron Patriot.
Very Nice, very nice
One question for you.
What would you like for Christmas this year?
Well, David.
We're broadcasting live Miss Chattanooga Christmas Pageant here in Chattanooga, Tennessee
One more time, Miss xxxx, everybody
That ain't gonna cut it.
Excuse me sir, I don't know who...
Mom, I need to call you back, something magical is happening.
- Tony Stark is in my van. - Keep it down.
- Tony Stark is in my van! - No, he's not.
I knew you were still alive!
Come on in and close the door.
- Wow, can I just say sir? - Yeah.
- I am your biggest fan. - First, is this your van or is anyone else gonna come in?
- No, no, it's just us. - What's your name?
- Gary. - Oh wow.
- Right there's fine. I get a lot of this, it's okay. - Can I just say?
- Yeah. - I don't know if you can tell but I have like
Patterned my whole look after you.
My hair's a little, it's not right because there's no product in it
Right.
I don't want to make things awkward for you, But I do have to show you... boom!
Hispanic Scott Baio?
- Oh, I'm sorry, is that me? - Yeah.
It's... I mean. I had them do it off a doll that I made,
so it's not like it's off a picture. So it's a little bit-
Gary, for a moment, listen to me here.
I don't want to clip your wings here; we're both a little over-excited.
I gt an issue. I'm chasing bad guys,
trying to grapple with something from some hard-crypt data files.
I don't have enough juice.
I need you to jump on the roof, recalibrate the ISDNs
Pump it up by about 40%.
- Got it. - Alright, it's a mission.
Yeah.
Tony needs Gary
- and Gary needs Tony - Be quiet about it.
Go.
What would you regard as the defining moment of your life?
Well uh, I think that would be the day I decided not to let my injury beat me.
- Can you please state your name for the camera? - Ellen Brandt.
Okay, so, the injections are administered periodically.
Addiction will not be tolerated and those who cannot regulate will be cut from the program.
Once misfits, cripples... you are the next iteration of human evolution.
Hi everybody. Before we start, I promise you, looking back at your life
There will be nothing as bitter as the memory of that glorious risk that you prudently elected to forego
Today is your glory. Let's begin!
We gotta get out of here! Gotta get out of here! Get 'em out! Get 'em out of here!
A bomb is not a bomb when it's a misfire
This stuff doesn't always work, right, pal?
It's faulty, but you found a buyer, didn't ya?
Sold it to the Mandarin.
What happened?
Fun fact.
Before he built rockets for the Nazis
The idealistic Werner von Braun dreamed of space travel...
he stargazed
You know what he said when the first V2 hit London?
The rocket performed perfectly
It just landed on the wrong planet.
See we all begin wide-eyed... "pure science"
Then the ego steps in, the obsession
you look up,
you're a long way from shore
You can't be too hard on yourself, Maya. I mean you gave your research to a think tank.
Yeah but Killian built that think tank on military contracts
That's exactly what we used to do
So don't judge yourself
Thank you, Pepper.
I really appreciate that.
- Hi, good evening - Good evening. - Come on in.
Maya, run!
Hi Pepper.
So you want to tell me why you were at Stark's manison last night?
I'm trying to fix this thing. I didn't know you and the Master were gonna blow the place up.
Oh I see, so you were trying to save Stark...
- when he threatened us - I told you, Killian, we can use him.
- Pepper, Pepper, Pepper - Look if we want to launch product next year, I need Stark.
He just lacked a decent incentive. Now he has one.
This is Support Team Blue 0, sending coordinates for suspected Mandarin broadcast point of origin.
Copy.
Nobody move!
Support Blue 0, unless the Mandarin's next attack on the U.S. involves cheaply-made sportswear,
I think you messed up again.
Yes, you're free, if you weren't before. Yes ma'am
Iron Patriot on the job, happy to help, no need to thank me, it's my pleasure.
Savin, I've acquired the Patriot armor.
You want this suit? You're going ot have to pry my cold, dead body out of it.
That's the plan, Colonel.
Harley, tell me what is happening, give me a full report
Yeah, I'm still eating that candy, do you want me to keep eating it?
- How much did you have? - Two or three bowls.
Can you still see straight?
- Sort of. - That means you're fine, give me Jarvis.
- Jarvis, how are we? - It's totally fine sir.
I seem to do quite well for a stretch and then at the end of the sentence I say the wrong cranberry.
And sir, you were right. Once I factored in available AIM downlink facilities
I was able to pinpoint the Mandarin's broadcast signal.
What're we talkin'? The Far East, Europe, North Africa, Iran, Pakistan, Syria, where is it?
Actually, sir, it's in Miami.
Okay, kid, I'm going to have to walk you through rebooting Jarvis' speech drive,
but not right now. Harley, where is he really?
Just look on the screen and tell me where it is.
- It does say Miami, Florida - Okay, first things first, I need the armor.
- Where are we at with it? - Uh, it's not charging.
Actually, sir, it is charging, but the power source is questionable.
It may not succeed in revitalizing the Mark 42.
What's questionable about electricity? Alright, it's my suit and I can't... I'm not gonna...
I don't wanna...
- Oh God, not again. - Tony
Are you having another attack? I didn't even mention New York.
Right, and then you just said it, by name, while denying having said it.
Okay, um, uh
- Oh God, what am I gonna do? - Just breathe, really just breathe
You're a mechanic, right?
Right.
You said so.
Yes, I did.
What don't you just build something?
Okay.
Thanks kid.
Why is it so hot in here? I told you to put it at 68.
My fault again... let me tell you something sweetheart, I am not your personal-
I wouldn't go in there for twenty minutes!
Now, which one of you is Vanessa?
That's me.
Ah, Nessie
- Did you know that fortune cookies aren't even Chinese? - There's some guy over here-
They're made by Americans, based on the Japanese recipes
Hey!
- Bloody hell, bloody hell - Don't move.
If you want something, take it,
although the guns are all fake because those wankers wouldn't trust me with the real ones.
- What? - Hey, do you fancy either of the birds?
heard enough.
You're not him, the Mandarin, the real guy, where?!
Where's the Mandarin?! Where is he?! - He's here. He's here.
- But he's not here. He's here but he's not here. - What do you mean?
It's complicated, hey, it's complicated, alright?
- It is? - It's complicated.
Uncomplicate it. Ladies out, get out of the bed, get in the bathroom.
Sit.
My name is Trevor, Trevor Slattery.
What are you?
- What're you? A decoy? You're a double, right? - What? No. An understudy? Absolutely not.
Don't hurt my face! I'm an actor.
You got a minute to live, fill it with words.
It's just a role.
"The Mandarin", see, it's not real.
Then how did you get here, Trevor?
Um, well, uh,
I have a little problem
with, um, substances, and I ended up doing things... no two ways about it
In the street that a man shouldn't do - Next!
Then, they approached me about the role and they knew about the drugs
- What'd they say they'd get you off them? - Said they'd give me more
They gave me things. They gave me this palace.
They gave me plastic surgery. They gave me things.
Did you just nod off?
No, the lovely speedboat! And the thing was, he needed someone
To take credit for some "accidental explosions"
"He"?
Killian? - Killian.
- He created you? - He created me.
- Custom-made terror threat - Yes!
Yes, his think tank thinked it up, the pathology of the serial killer
The manipulation of Western iconography
Ready for another lesson? Blah blah blah.
Of course, it was my performance that brought the Mandarin to life.
Your performance?
Where people die?
No, they didn't.
No, no, look around you, costumes, green screen
Honestly, I wasn't on location for half this stuff, and when I was, it was movie magic, love
I'm sorry but I got a best friend who's in a coma and he might not wake up
So you're going to have to answer for that. You're still going down, pal.
Okay, Trevor, what'd you tell him?
- I didn't tell him anything. - Nothing?
- No. - You should have pressed the panic button.
Well I panicked, but then I handled it.
- Just like old times, huh? - Oh yeah, with zip-ties. It's a ball.
- It wasn't my idea. - Okay, so you took Killian's card
- I took his money. - And here you are 13 years later in a dungeon
- No. - Yeah.
- No, you're in a dungeon. I'm free to go. - Yeah...
A lot's happened Tony
and I'm close.
- Extremis is pratically stable. - I'm telling you it isn't.
I'm on the street, people are going 'bang',
they're painting the walls. Maya, you're kidding yourself.
Then help me fix it.
Did I do that?
- Yes. - I remember the night not the morning.
Is this what you've been chasing around?
- You don't remember? - I can't help you.
You used to have a moral psychology.
You used to have ideals.
Wanted to help people,
now look at you.
I get to wake up every morning with someone who... still has her soul.
Get me out of here,
Come on
You know what my old man used to say to me?
One of his favorite of many sayings
"The early bird gets the worm; the second mouse gets the cheese"
- You're not still pissed about the Switzerland thing, are you? - How can I be pissed you, Tony?
I'm here to thank you. You've given me the greatest gift that anybody's ever given me.
Desperation.
If you think back to Switzerland, you said you'd meet me on the rooftop, right?
Well for the first 20 minutes, I actually thought you'd show up.
For the next hour, I uhh
Well I considered taking that one step shortcut to the lobby,
if you know what I mean
Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out what happened to the first mouse.
But as I looked out over that city,
nobody knew I was there, nobody could see me, no one was even looking
I had a thought that would guide me for years to come.
Anonymity, Tony.
Thanks to you, it's been my mantra ever since, right?
You simply rule from behind the scenes.
Because the second you give evil a face
Bin Laden,
Gaddafi, The Mandarin
- You hand the people a target - You're something else
- You have met him, I assume? - Yeah, Sir Lawrence Oblivion.
I know he's a little over the top sometimes... it's not entirely my fault
He has a tend... he's a stage actor.
They say his Lear was the toast of Croydon, wherever that is.
Anyway, the point is ever since that big dude with the hammer fell out of the sky
Subtlety's kinda had its day
What's next for you and your world?
Well, I wanted to repay you for the same gift you so graciously imparted to me
Desperation.
Now, this is live. I'm not sure if you can tell
But at this moment the body is trying to decide whether to accept Extremis or just give up
And if it gives up,
I have to say the denotation is quite spectactular
But until that point, it's really just a lot of pain.
We haven't even talked salary yet.
What kind of perk package are you thinking of?
Let him go.
Hold on, hold on.
- Maya - I said let him go!
What are you doing?
1200ccs, a dose half of this size and I'm dead
It's times like this my temper is tested somewhat
Maya, give me the injector.
If I die Killian,
what happens to your soldiers? What happens to your product?
- We're not doing this, okay? - What happens to you? What happens if you go too hot?
The good news is,
a high level position has just been vacated
- You're a maniac. - No, I'm a visionary
But I do own a maniac,
and he takes the stage tonight
Once we get the Iron Patriot installed, it'll take me nine to ten minutes for take-down.
That's great. The last time I looked there was somebody inside of it.
Afternoon, gentlemen
Hello Colonel
Step aside.
- We'll get you out of there, don't worry. - You'll damage the armor.
Yes, I will, but you can fix it, right?
I'm going to take the suit up to base camp, and I want Potts with me.
She's still in Phase 2.
You're not going deaf, are ya?
Careful there, it's a limited edition.
Hey, uh, ponytail express
- What is the mileage count between Tennessee and Miami? - 832 miles
Very nice.
I'm good like that
- Are you gonna stop that? - Break it you bought it
Okay, that wasn't mine to give away, that belongs to my friend's sister,
and that's why I'm gonna kill you first.
- What're ya gonna do? - You'll see.
- You're zip-tied to a bed. - This.
That.
Are you comin' out?
- Do not open, do not open, don't open, don't open, don't - Alright, let's go.
You breathe fire? Okay.
It's a glorious day, Savin.
This time tomorrow I'll have the West's most powerful leader in one hand
And the world's most feared terrorist in the other.
I'll own the War on Terror
Create supply and demand for you and your brothers and sisters.
Trust me, you're gonna be in a puddle of blood on the ground in 5, 4, 3, Come on!, 2
How did we get this shift?
Alright, I'm going to give you a chance to escape, put down your weapons
And tie yourselves into those chairs and I'll let you live. In 5, 4.... Bang
- You should be gone by now, you should have already been gone. - I'm just beyond terrified.
Here it comes.
3, 4
- Shut up. - 54321
I told you.
Where's the rest?
Honestly, I hate working here... they are so weird.
Better late than never.
Not this time. Not the face.
- Phew, it's good to be back. Hello, by the way. - Oh, hello sir.
All personnel, Stark is loose and somewhere in the compound.
Repeat: Stark is loose and somewhere in the compound.
Ah, crap.
- Tony - Rhodey, tell me that was you in the suit.
- No, you got yours? - Uh, um, kind of. Main house as fast as you can,
Somebody I'd like you to meet
You, you. Move! Get out!
- The room is secure. I have eyes on the Mandarin. - What's this? I had the winner's.
- What've you come as? - Make a move and I'll break your face.
I never thought people had been hurt. They lied to me.
- This is the Mandarin? - I know, it's, it's embarrassing.
Hi, I'm Trevor, Trevor Slattery.
I know I'm shorter in person, a bit smaller, everyone says that, but, uh, hey,
if you're here to arrest me, there are some people who I'd like to roll on
Here's how it works, Meryl Streep, you tell him where Pepper is and he'll stop doing it.
Stop what? Well, that hurt. I get it, I get it
- Spill - Do you know what they did to my suit?
What? No, but I do know it's happening off the coast.
Something to do with a big boat. I can take you there
Ah, Ole ole ole ole
Tony, I swear to God, I'm going to blow his face off.
Oh this next bit may include the Vice President as well.
Is that important?
- Somewhat. - Yeah, a little bit.
- So? - Uh, what are we gonna do. We don't have any transport.
Hey, Ringo, didn't you say something about a "lovely speedboat"?
If he's right about the location, we're 20 minutes from where Pepper is.
But we also have to figure out this Vice President thing, right?
I wonder who I'm calling right now. Oh, that's the Vice President.
- Hello. - Sir, this is Tony Stark.
Welcome back to the land of the living.
We believe you're about to be drawn into the Mandarin campaign,
and we've got to get you somewhere safe as soon as possible.
Mr. Stark, I'm about to eat honey roast ham surrounded by the agency's finest.
And the President is safe on Air Force One with Colonel Rhodes
- I think we're good here. - Sir, this is Colonel Rhodes!
They're using the Iron Patriot as a trojan horse; they're gonna take out the President somehow.
We have to immediately alert that plane.
Okay, I'm on it. I'll have security lock it down.
If need be, they can have F22s in the air in 30 seconds. Thank you, Colonel.
Rhodes and Stark out.
Everything okay, sir?
- Couldn't be better.
I love you, little one
Colonel Rhodes. Glad to see you could make it, son.
I feel safer already
We gotta make a decision. We can either save the President or Pepper. We can't do both.
Sir, I have an update from Malibu.
The cranes have finally arrived and the cellar doors are being cleared as we speak.
- And what about the suit I'm wearing? - The armor is now at 92%.
That's gonna have to do.
- Oh, here he comes, here he comes, get a quick picture. - Sure.
Everything all right, Colonel?
It is an honor, Mr. President
If you're gonna do it, do it.
Woh. Cool your boots, sir
That's not how the Mandarin works.
Sir.
Air Force One's been compromised.
- Internal shots, temperature spikes. - Get me eyes on it now.
Image coming through now, sir.
Is that Rhodes?
Any one there?
Let us out.
The President. Now.
He's not here.
Try the jet stream. Speaking of which, go fish!
Walk away from that, you son of a bitch.
- How many in the air? - Thirteen, sir.
- How many can I carry? - Four, sir.
Slow down, slow down. Relax, what's your name? Heather..
Listen to me, see that guy? I'm going to swing by him and you're just going to grab him.
- You got that? - what?
I'll electrify your arm; you won't be able to open your hand. We can do this, Heather.
Easy, see? Eleven more to go.
Remember that game called Barrel of Monkeys? That's what we're going to do.
18,000 feet
Come on,people, everybody, grab your monkey!
Nice!
10,000 feet.
6,000 feet
Come on, people.
Come on, come on, come on
Yeah!
1000 feet.
800 feet. 400feet,200 feet, sir.
It's a chunky monkey, let's get him.
Hello.
Nice work guys. Excellent. Good team effort all around. Go us.
Alright, Jarvis, but it's only half done, we still gotta get Pepp-
That came out of nowhere.
- Give me some good news man. - I think they all made it.
- Thank God. - Yeah, but I missed the President.
You couldn't save the President with the suit, how are you gonna save Pepper with nothing?
- Uh, say Jarvis, is it that time? - The "house party" protocol, sir?
Correct.
Hi.
You think he's gonna help you...
he won't.
Having you here is not just to motivate Tony Stark;
It's actually more embarrassing than that.
You're here as my, um
Trophy.
Good evening, sir.
Welcome aboard, Mr. President.
You ever heard of an elephant graveyard?
Well, two years ago, the elephant in the room was this gal.
This is the Roxxon Norco.
Of course you remember when she spilled 100 million gallons of crude off Pensacola.
Thanks to you, not one fat cat saw a day in court.
What do you want from me?
Uh, nothing, sir.
I just needed a reason to kill you that would play well on TV.
You see, I've moved on. I've found myself a new political patron, and
At this time tomorrow, he'll have your job.
String him up.
Come on.
- You're not gonna freak out on me, right? - I hope not.
Oh my god.
- He's strung up over the oil tank; they're gonna light him up, man. - Viking funeral.
- Public execution. - Yeah, death by oil.
Broadcast will commence shortly. Take final positions.
Okay, that's good. Now give me cameras A through E and do a full tech rehearsal.
Is your gun up?
Yup, what do I do?
- Stay on my six, cover high, and don't shoot me in the back. - Six, high, back. Alright.
- You see that? Nailed it. - Yeah, you really killed the glass.
I was aiming for the bulb? You can't hit a bulb from this distance.
- I'm out. Gimme, gimme, you got an extra magazine? - They're not universal, Tony.
I know what I'm doing, I make this stuff. Gimme another one
- I don't have one that fits that gun. - You've got like five of them.
Alright, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna spot. Ready?
- What'd you see? - Too fast, nothing. Here we go.
Three guys, one girl, all armed.
God, I'd kill for some armor right now.
- You're right, we need backup. - Yeah, bunch.
You know what?
- Is that? - Yep.
- Are those? - Yeah.
Merry Christmas, buddy.
Jarvis, target Extremis heat signatures. Disable with extreme prejudice.
Yes, sir.
What are you waiting for? It's Christmas.
Take 'em to church.
Gentlemen.
Jarvis, get Igor to steady this thing.
- This is how you've been managing your downtime, huh? - Everybody needs a hobby.
Heartbreaker? Help Red Snapper out, will ya?
- Nice timing. - Oh yeah, that's awesome. Give me a suit, okay?
Oh, I'm sorry. They're only coded to me.
- What does that mean? - I got you covered.
- Good evening, Colonel. Can I give you a lift? - Very funny.
- Sir, I've located Miss Potts. - About time.
Stop, put it down, put it down, put it down.
See what happens when you hang out with my ex-girlfriends?
- You're such a jerk. - Yup, we'll talk about it at dinner.
Come on, a little more, baby.
Is this guy bothering you?
Don't get up!
Is it hot in there?
Stuck? Feel a little stuck?
Like a little turtle, cooking in his little turtle suit?
Tony
She's watching.
I think you should close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes; you don't want to see this.
Yeah, you take a minute.
Jarvis, give me a suit right now!
Aw, come on!
Mr. President! Just hold on, alright? I'm coming.
Just hold on. Hold on.
Buh-bye.
Brace yourself!
You look damn good, Mr. President, but I'm gonna need that suit back.
The President is secure, Tony. I'm clearing the area.
Nice work.
- Ready sir? - What do you mean "ready"?
Pep, I got you. Relax, I got you. Just look at me.
Honey, I can't reach any further, and you can't stay there, alright? You gotta let go.
You gotta let go. I'll catch you, I promise.
NO---
What a shame; I would have caught her.
Eject!
Well here we are, on the roof
- Mark 42 inbound. - Well I'll be damned.
The prodigal son returns.
Whatever.
You really didn't deserve her, Tony.
It's a pity. I was so close to having her... perfect.
Okay, okay, wait, wait, slow down, slow down.
you're right. I don't deserve her.
But here's where you're wrong:
She was already perfect.
Jarvis,
do me a favor and blow Mark 42.
NOOOO!!
No more false faces.
You said you wanted the Mandarin. You're looking right at him.
It was always me, Tony, right from the start. I am the Mandarin!
I got nothing.
Jarvis, subject at my 12 o'clock is not a target, disengage!
What? Oh what, are you mad at me?
Honey.
Oh my god.
That was really violent.
You just scared the devil out of me. I thought you were
I was dead. Why? Because I fell two hundred feet?
- Who's the hot mess now? - Still debatable.
Probably tipping your way a little bit. Why don't you dress like this at home?
Hmm? Sports bra, the whole deal.
You know I think I understand why you don't want to give up the suits.
What I am gonna complain about now?
Well, it's me.
You'll think of something.
- Don't touch me. No, I'm gonna burn you! - No, no
You're not hot.
Am I gonna be okay?
No, you're in a relationship with me, everything will never be okay.
But I think I can figure this out, yeah.
I almost had this 20 years ago when I was drunk. I think I can get you better.
That's what I do. I fix stuff.
And all your distractions?
Uh, I'm gonna shave them down a little bit.
Jarvis,
- hey. - All wrapped up here, sir. Will there be anything else?
You know what to do.
The "clean slate" protocol, sir?
Screw it, it's Christmas. Yes, yes.
Okay so far? You like it?
It'll do.
And so, as Christmas morning began, my journey had reached its end.
You start with something pure, something exciting
Then come the mistakes
The compromises
We create our own demons.
It's great to see you.
As promised, I got Pepper sorted out; it took some tinkering.
But then I thought to myself,
"Why stop there?"
Of course, there are people who say progress is dangerous.
But I'll bet none of those idiots ever had to live with a chest full of shrapnel.
And now... neither will I.
Let me tell you: that was the best sleep I'd had in years.
It's okay, it's okay.
So if I were to wrap this up tight with a bow or whatever,
I guess I'd say, my armor, it was never a distraction or a hobby.
It was a cocoon.
And now,
I'm a changed man.
You can take away my house,
All my tricks and toys
One thing you can't take away...
You know,and thank you,by the way,for listening.
There's just something about getting it off my chest and
putting it out there in the atmosphere instead of holding this in.
I mean, this is what gets people sick, you know?
Wow, I had no idea you were such a good listener.
To be able to share all of my intimate thoughts and my experiences
with someone,it just cuts the weight of it in half, you know.
It's like a snake swallowing its own tale. Everything comes full circle.
And...and the fact that you've been able to help me process...
- So,uh...? - You with me?
I was, yeah. Mm-hmm. We were...uh, we were at, uh...
- You're actively napping? - I...I was...I... I... I drifted.
Where did I lose you?
Elevator in Switzerland.
So you heard none of it?
I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of doctor.I'm not a therapist
- it's not my training.I don't have the...- So?
- What? The time? - Temperament.
You know what?Now that I think about it,oh god,my original wound...1983,alright?
- Yes. - I'm 14 years old, I still have a nanny? That was weird.