我引你注目吗 我猥琐的微笑让你想吐吗 Do I attract you? do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
我太淫荡吗 我太风骚吗 Am I too dirty? am I too flirty?
我投你所好吗 你为何不爱我 Do I like what you like? why don't you like me?
怎么不听完我唱歌再讨厌我 Why don't you like me without making me try?
我试着学格蕾丝·凯莉那样优雅 I try to be like grace kelly
但她是一代苦情女 But all her looks were too sad
所以我又学皇后佛莱迪 So I try a little freddie
我已变成疯疯癫癫的了 I've gone identity mad!
我可以把皮肤晒成黝黑 我可以扮忧郁王子 I could be brown I could be blue
我可以更加百变 Gotta be everything more
你为何不爱我 为何不爱我 Why don't you like me? why don't you like me?
给我滚出门去 Why don't you walk out the door?
-给你 甜心 -谢谢 - here you go sweetie. - oh thanks.
我今天早上买了香蕉杏仁味的 I tried banana nut sprout this morning.
你知道的 换换口味也不错 Thought you know a little change of pace
今天某人的生日嘛 就要与众不同 Thought somebody deserves something special for his birthday.
是的 很好 Yeah. it's good.
我已经在八宝餐厅订了今晚8点半的位子了 Okay so I made reservations tonight at babbo at 8:30.
或者今晚我们可以谈谈 我们约会的事 I thought maybe we could talk about you know setting a date?
你刚才是计划着去做计划吗 Did you just make a plan to make a plan?
-难道我老毛病又犯了 -是啊 - did I just do that again? - yeah you did.
-那我道歉 -没事 - sorry. - it's all right.
好的 晚上见 好吗 All right I'll see you later okay?
-我爱你 -我也爱你 - hey hey hey! love you. - love you too.
-再见 -再见 - bye. - bye.
-生日快乐啊 -你也是 - happy birthday! - you too!
先生 你好啊 想买些小甜点吗 Hello sir. would you like to buy some cookies?
想啊 当然想啊 只是... I would. I really would. I just...
很不幸 我没钱了 Unfortunately I don't have any money.
那甜点没有了 I don't have any cookies.
杰克 Jack?
我想要钥匙 I need a key.
这... Wow. that...
要害? A key?
什么 不 我要的是 What? no! I want a key.
你家的钥匙 那样我不必常常在你家门口干等着 Like an actual key to your apartment so I don't have to wait outside
尤其是当我穿得性感火辣的时候 When I'm dressed in these little slutty outfits.
我不是要和你同居 I don't want to live with you.
并无恶意 No offense.
你要知道 我试着把这说得很委婉 And you know I mean this in the nicest possible way.
你不是认真负责的男友 更不是结婚的料 You're not exactly serious boyfriend marriage material.
对此我引以为豪 And I pride myself on that.
我要走了 下星期见 下次玩什么好呢 I gotta go. I'll see you next week. what're we doing?
性感赤裸消防员勇救被困火场的妈妈? Mother of the baby saved from the fire and the sexy shirtless fireman?
我可以把皮肤晒成黝黑 我可以扮忧郁王子 I could be brown I could be blue
我也可以羞答答的 I could be violet sky
我可以风流成性 也可以气宇轩昂 I could be hurtful I could be purple
你可以把我搓圆按扁 I could be anything you like
得变的清新自然 或者下流无耻 Gotta be green gotta be mean
我可以更加百变 Gotta be everything more
你为何不爱我 为何不爱我 Why don't you like me? why don't you like me?
给我滚出门去 Why don't you walk out the door?
我可以把皮肤晒成黝黑 我可以扮忧郁王子 I could be brown I could be blue
我可以更加百变 Gotta be everything more
你为何不爱我 为何不爱我 Why don't you like me? why don't you like me?
给我滚出门去吧 Why don't you walk out the door?
-麦娜莉 -钟 - mcnally. - chong.
稍后再说 Not now.
好了 这就对了 看上去不错 好了 Hey! hey! hey hey! here we go! yeah! that's looking good! all right!
一切顺利 继续保持 好吗 That's good form right there. let's keep that up huh?
这板切得好极了 再拿去封边就好了 That's a beautiful veneer. just throw that on the edge-band and we're set.
-好了 -杰克? - all right! - hey jack?
-知道现在几点了吗 -什么 电锯声音太大听不到 - do you know what time it is? - what? I can't hear you over the saw.
我们正忙着呢 我不想分心 We're in the zone over here. I don't want to lose focus.
走一下神 手指头就没了 That's how people lose fingers huh?
-你被炒鱿鱼了 -好的 让我们激情高昂地工作吧! - you're fired. - all right. we are fired up boys!
你被炒鱿鱼了 You are fired!
好的 All right.
我们来比赛 你赢了 我卷铺盖走人 I'll play you for it. you win I'm out.
我赢了 就给我第二次机会 I win. I get a second chance.
我给你的"第二次机会"已经多得数不清了 It's not a second chance when you've had a hundred of them.
9比7 保住饭碗啦 真爽 Oh! nine-seven! keeping my job! yeah!
好吧 Okay. all right.
-到你了 -你知道吗 - I'll give you one. - do you know what?
你肯定是做老板的料 You're supposed to be the future boss
但是你整天只知道参加派对 吃喝玩乐 But you're too busy being the life of the party.
你要变成熟点 做个顶天立地的男子汉 At some point you're gonna have to step up and be a man.
-8比9了 要失业了 -好啊 要动真格是不是 - eight-nine! unemployment! - okay man. you want to play?
9比9 食品券(美国为贫民所设的代换券) 滋味十足 Nine-nine! food stamps! tastes so good.
-那根本不算投篮 -老板赢了 老板赢了 - okay that's not even a shot. - the boss got game! the boss got game!
10比9 比赛完毕 杰克 Ten-nine. this is it jack.
-跟你说 这简直就是荒谬之极 -跟你说 这是你的问题 - you know what? this is ridiculous. - you know what? that's your problem.
你顶不住压力 You can't handle the pressure.
只要看到事态不对 你就灰心丧气 As soon as you think you're going to lose you quit.
游戏完了 杰克 Game over jack.
别误会 我待你如亲生儿子 Don't get me wrong. you're like a son to me.
-老爸 我本来就是你亲儿子 -是啊 所以废话少说 - dad I am your son. - yeah and it's time to cut the cord.
去把你桌上的东西都搬走吧 Let's go clean out your desk.
梅森还蒙在鼓里 一无所知 Mason has no idea.not an idea at all.
-说你可怜还是... -什么 你觉得我弄得太夸张了吗 - that you're pathetic or... - what do you think I went overboard?
不 不 我觉得这样恰到好处 No. no I think it's the exact right amount of board.
就像我 清醒得很 可以开始拿酒喝了吗 Which is what I am right now. can we start drinking?
当然 好的 看看这个 梅森的生日礼物 Of course. okay lookit! these are for mason.
什么东西 What's that?
维加斯? 我以为你讨厌维加斯那地方 Vegas? I thought you hated vegas.
没错 但这就是所谓的"优厚奖励" I do but you know that's why they call it a gift tip
-因为这牺牲实在太大了 -拜托 - because it truly is selfless. - oh thanks.
好的 大家 听我说 我准备把他带进来 Okay everyone listen! I'm going to bring him in
跟着开灯 然后你们就冲出来喊"惊喜" I'm gonna turn on the lights and that's when you yell "surprise!"
说得好像我们不知道似的 看来我还要记下来才行 Oh that's how a surprise party works! I'm totally gonna write that down.
好了 大家 快躲起来 躲起来 躲起来 Okay. everyone hide! hide hide hide!
-好啊 甜心 -好啊 - hi sweetie! - hey!
欢迎回来 生日快乐 好了 快进来吧 Welcome home. happy birthday. okay come inside...
-听着 乔伊 我们得谈谈 -好的 进来再聊吧 好吗 - listen joy. we need to talk. - okay. well let's do it inside. okay?
不 不 不 不行 不然我说不出口 No no no. I can't or I'll never do this.
听着 这实在是难以启齿 Look there's no easy way to say this.
既然这样就不要说了 想想就好了 Okay then don't. okay? just think it
晚些时候 我再猜猜你在想什么 And then later I'll try to figure out what it was you were thinking.
好吗 进来吧 Okay? let's just go inside.
不 不 不能晚点说 乔伊 No no no no no no! this can't wait joy.
你知道我的工作很重要 You know I have a really important job.
-对吗 -是的 - right? - yeah.
每当我回家 我希望这里是个可以舒缓压力的安乐窝 So when I come home I want this place to be an escape.
但是最近 这种感觉消失了 And as of late it's not.
没错 我们的性生活很和谐 应该说是 好极了 Yes the sex is great okay? I mean that's fantastic
尤其是你为我 And I can't tell you how much I
唱"后庭花"的时候 简直 Appreciate all the things you've been trying
让我爽呆了 With my butt.
但除此以外的 都让我很辛苦 But the rest is so exhausting.
你总是那么的精力充沛地去 You're so on all the time with all
制定计划和安排行程 The scheduling and planning it's just...
我不想娶你了 乔伊 I don't want to marry you joy.
我要离开你了 I'm leaving you.
鉴于这里是我家 所以 准确地说 要走的人是你 Well I mean this is my place so technically you would be the one
但是...你在哭吗 That has to leave but... are you crying?
惊喜 Surprise.
-真该死 -是的 - oh shitballs. - yeah.
这... Hey. here...
你知道我帮他赚了多少钱吗 Do you have any idea how much money I've made him?
你是我的律师 你说我可以告他吗 You're my lawyer. can I sue him for something?
唯一的问题就是你要告的那人是你老爸 Well the problem with suing your father is that he's your dad.
他会喜欢的 他会认为这才是父子情深 He'd love it. he'd think we were bonding.
也许吧 这很难说 你就告他吧 好极了 Maybe he would be! you don't know. take him to court. it might be nice.
-律师费怎么办 -你这才想到啊? - what am I gonna do about money? - you're just realizing that right now?
-厉害 -我有大把方法可以赚钱 - fascinating. - I could do a lot of things for money.
我很多才多艺的 I'm good at stuff.
我跟你赌5美元 就赌谁最快把这杯啤酒喝完 I'll bet you $5 I can finish this beer faster than you.
真的吗 赌就赌呗 Really? you're on.
他根本配不上我 He doesn't even deserve me.
我想到法子帮你整梅森那混蛋了 Here's my thought on what we should do with this whole mason thing.
-说吧 -一星期一次 - okay. - once a week
我们叫几个我哥的猪朋狗友 We get some of my brother's loser-ass friends
去梅森家按他的门铃 To go over to mason's house ring his doorbell
当他开门的时候 就"砰"的一下 And when he answers they're just gonna bang
对准他的小弟弟 一脚踢过去 Junkpunch him right up in his man business
然后他就跪倒在地 And then he's gonna keel over.
当他痛得一边在地上滚来滚去一边大叫"为什么"的时候 While he's writhing on the ground screaming "why?"
他们就说"你知道的" They'll go "you know why!"
这是刚想出来的吗 Wow! did you just think of that?
不是 刚才一边走一边想的 No I was thinking about it a lot on the way over.
你这乳臭未干的小屁孩 You are a child!
-这像话吗 像话吗 -翻倍再来一盘 - what is that? what is that? - double or nothing.
乔伊 你得把订婚戒指脱下来了 Joy you're gonna need to take off this ring.
不 我...我还是...我还是把它... No i... I'm just... I'm just gonna...
我还是把它带到另外一只手上好了 I'm just going to wear it on the other hand.
你被炒了 你被炒了 You're on fire. man you are on fire.
这真是...我是说 你今天真好运 This is like... I mean you're lucky.
-感觉不妙啊 -我会着重记住这句话的 - I don't feel good. - we need to capitalize on this.
你知道什么会让你好过些吗 You know what's gonna make you feel better?
什么 What?
有什么地方可以让你成熟点 做个男子汉的? Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
社区大学? Community college?
什么地方可以让你忘却烦忧 Where can you go where you can forget all your troubles
尽情狂欢的呢 And act like a total idiot?
老兄 我说的是一个地方 世上仅此一地了 I am talking about one place and one place only my friend.
别跟我说是维加斯 Do not say vegas.
请告诉我那是维加斯 Please say vegas.
-维加斯 宝贝 -维加斯? - vegas baby. - vegas?
-拉斯维加斯? -什么 - las vegas? - what?
你定定神 再慢慢想想吧 Swish it around in your mouth a little bit. think about it.
-维加斯 -维加斯 - vegas! - vegas.
-无忧无虑 -说出你的心底话 - carefree. - say it like you mean it.
-突发奇想 -我听不到 - spontaneous. - I can't hear you!
-维加斯 -维加斯 - vegas! - vegas?
-维加斯 -维加斯 - vegas! - vegas!
你好啊 拉斯维加斯! Hello las vegas!
维加斯 Vegas.
各位 实在抱歉 我们的电脑出故障了 Everyone I'm so sorry but our computers are down right now
不便之处 敬请原谅 真抱歉 So just bear with us please. I'm sorry. I know.
你的未婚夫交到好运了 Okay your fiance is one lucky guy.
我爱维加斯 I love vegas!
是时候喝点男子汉的饮品了 Time to get a big-boy drink.
我要喝伏特加和苏格兰酒 I'll have a vodka and a scotch.
我就在这里呼呼大睡了 先脱裤子 This is where I'm passing out. pants you're out of here.
谁教你尖叫得像个娘们似的 Did we ever tell you you scream like a girl?
眼睛 痛死了 My eyes! it burns!
头啊 眼睛和头都痛死了 My head! my head and my eyes are burning!
我的背! My back!
鼻子 到我的鼻子遭殃了 My nose! my nose now!
冷静点 冷静点 Whoa! whoa! take it easy!
没事 没事 他们是同志 It's okay! it's okay! they're gay!
-什么 -他们是同志 - what? - they're gay!
不 不 不是你想的那样 This... no no this is not what it looks like.
我们只是碰巧订了同一间套房 We just... we all got booked in the same room.
我们到楼下去说吧 换间更好的 Let's just go downstairs. I smell an upgrade!
-你们不是同志? -不是 - you guys aren't gay? - no.
-让我来 -不必了 - I got this. - no.
-让我来处理吧 好吧 Just let me handle it okay?
好的 Okay.
柯蒂斯 我们可有话要说了 Curtis. you and I have a problem.
我猜 我们都知道你在耍什么鬼把戏 I think we both know how this game works.
我投诉了 你的回复是你无能为力 I complain and you tell me there's nothing you can do
我们都知道那是大谎话 But we both know that's a big fat lie
所以免除后顾之忧 So why don't you just save us both the trouble
反正你迟早都要这样做的 And type in those special codes
你还是在键盘上敲一敲 That you know you're gonna type in eventually
然后给我们找两间舒适的房间 And find me two rooms that are so nice
让我这糟透了的晚上变得好一点 That it turns my night right back around?
难以想象她那么凶 名字居然叫乔伊 She's awfully hostile for a girl named joy.
我会照着你的吩咐做的 I'm going to do exactly what you're telling me to do because
因为我有点怕你 I'm a little frightened of you.
这是顶层套房 These are penthouse suites.
除了房顶 这就是最高的房间了 You can't get any higher than that without going on the roof
但是房顶是禁止游荡的 因为有人会到那里跳楼 And you're not allowed on the roof because people jump.
顶层套房 Penthouse suites.
-爽 -太扯了 - nice! - no!
-是的 -还不赖啊 - yeah. - that's not bad.
不客气 Well you're welcome.
看我的吧 Now watch and learn.
-好啊 老兄 -你好吗 - hey buddy. - oh hi. how are you?
我猜你刚刚了见识了我的朋友 I think you just met my friend back there.
有点吓人 Kind of a scary person.
埃及棉 好极了 Oh egyptian cotton. that's nice.
对她的失态我在此道歉 在接下来的3周 I want to apologize for her. for three weeks out of the month
我们都会享受这上帝的恩赐 We get to enjoy god's most precious creation
第4周 账单来了 And on week four the bill arrives.
我明白你的意思 I know what you mean.
听着 我不是要让你难做 Look I don't want to push here
我知道以你的职位 But I know that a man in your position
有权给我们提供一些游乐设施的赠券 Is capable of producing certain amenities.
好莱坞星座 太好了 Planet hollywood. yeah.
贵宾票 Vip!
你们是纽约来的 我们也是纽约来的 Hey. so you're from new york we're from new york.
-麻烦去马戏团餐厅 -拜托了 - we're going to le cirque please! - come on.
听着 我带我朋友千里迢迢来到维加斯 Look I didn't bring my buddy all the way out to vegas
不是让他被揍一顿的 对吧 So he could get his ass kicked. right?
至少你也应该做什么让他开心点 So the least you could do is help me show him a good time.
就算开兴的事摆在眼前 你的哥儿们也笑不出来了 Your buddy wouldn't know a good time if it sat on his face.
跳脱衣舞的 给我听着 你就一副猥琐下流的样子 Okay you know what stripper? you are kind of a disgusting skank.
司机 我们在这里下车 谢谢 Driver we'll get out here! thank you!
-好啊 再见 -多谢了 - okay bye! - thank you.
-注意安全 小伙们 -再见 再见 走吧你 - use a condom boys. - bye-bye. bye. just go!
拜托了 小酌两杯啦 Oh come on. one drink.
我很风趣的 不信你打听打听 I'm a pretty fun guy. you can ask around.
谢谢 但是我们定了位子 Thanks but we have dinner reservations.
我们还要商量一下到哪里去跳脱衣舞 And we have to map out our assault on the strip.
你还计划着去计划啊? You have a plan to make plans?
你说什么 Excuse me?
我觉得你放下头发的样子美极了 I bet you look really good with your hair down.
-我头发是放下来了 -就一杯 - my hair is down. - one drink!
我保证 I dare you!
我发明了嘻哈吗 不是 但是我见证它的诞生 Did I invent hip-hop? no. but I was there.
-谢谢 -不客气 - thank you. - you're welcome.
-乔伊 -什么事 - so joy. - yeah?
为什么要来这个罪恶之城? What brings you to sin city?
只是突发奇想罢了 You know just being spontaneous
放松一下 和大家一样 那么你呢 Cutting loose like everyone else. how about yourself?
我吗 我是来这里做生意的 Yeah. me? oh I'm here on business.
事实上 是大生意 我... Big business actually. I'm...
我是个大人物 I'm a pretty important guy
在我的公司里 In my field.
真的? Really?
骗你的 No.
其实 Actually
我刚被炒了 所以 干一杯吧 I just got fired. so cheers to that.
我刚被甩了 所以 干吧 I just got dumped so salud.
我有告诉你 炒我鱿鱼的老板是我老爸吗 Did I mention that I got fired by my boss-slash-father?
我有告诉你 我在为我未婚夫办神秘派对的时候 Did I mention that I threw a surprise birthday party for my fiance? 270 00:15:26 053 --> 00:15:29 113 当我的挚友们都躲好的时候 他就在他们的面前 and the surprise was that he dumped me in front of all of our closest friends
把我甩了吗 while they hid in the closet?
好吧 你赢了 wow. okay you win.
麻烦 再来一瓶 excuse me. we're gonna need a whole bottle.
今天我奋身救了一个婴儿 虽然不算是什么英雄 i saved a baby today. i'm not a hero though.
-知道我说的意思吧 我不是... -他结婚了的 - you know what i mean? i'm not a... - he's married.
这是我的同志妹妹 谈谈你的女子垒球吧 this is my lesbian sister. tell her about your softball game.
还有女子垒球队 tell her about your softball team.
你说这个幸运骰子游戏押125美元10比1怎样? what do you say we bet 10-to-1 with $125 on the hard eight?
-买定离手 -好的 投骰子吧 - bets are right there. - all right. roll them out.
不 不 不 不了 我手气不好 no no no no no. i wouldn't... i wouldn't bet on me winning.
你来吧 我的公主 you roll princess.
好的 去啊 44! 44! all right. go 44! 44!
看啊 看我的拿手好戏 this is my party trick. here it goes.
你要干什么 你要用刀子把那个... what are you gonna do? are you going to cut...
你知道吗 你说得很对 you know you were right about me.
你把它劈开了 you just cut it off!
就好像你一直很努力 但总是让别人大放异彩 自己默默无闻 it's like you're trying to come in first but it's somebody else's race.
-就像金字塔 -爽呆了 - it's like egypt! - it's amazing!
你总是觉得技不如人 所以自动退出 you never felt good enough so you took yourself out of the game.
为被甩而干了 to everyone who's ever been dumped
为被炒而干了 and to everyone who has ever been fired
当我喊"去" 你们喊"你的" when i say "screw!" you say "you!"
-去 -你的 - screw! - you!
爽 yes!
你说我总是没有尽力 现在我明白了 i think i just got to the point where i wasn't even trying.
为什么要尽力 why should you try?
我一个星期工作80个小时也不知道为什么 i work 80 hours a week and i don't even know why.
我真的坏透了 i've been so naughty!
让开 让开 out of my way! out of my way!
我没试过这样坦白 i'm not usually this honest.
我没试过这样风趣 i'm usually not this fun.
最妙的是... the best part is...
-我们挺投机的 -很有缘 - we can really talk. - really connect.
是啊 你是世界上最后一个我想上的男人了 yeah 'cause you're like the last person on the planet i'd ever sleep with!
最后一个 ever! ever! ever!
这肯定很有趣 this is gonna be fun!
天啊 这不是真的 请告诉我这不是真的 oh god. please be fake. please be fake.
天啊 oh god.
嘿 老婆 我们在餐厅等你呢
不要啊 拜托了 不要啊 不要啊 拜托了 不要啊 no no please please please! oh please please no!
在这不能办离婚 知道吗 得回到你住的城市去办 you can't get divorced here okay? you gotta do it where you live.
除非你不想离? 你想判决无效 besides you don't want a divorce all right? you want an annulment.
瞧 这就是维加斯 回去之后你就要付出代价了 see what happens in vegas you pay for when you get back home.
就是这么回事 that's what the thing is.
那晚 was there any part of the night
不知道 也许在我正打算 I don't know maybe say the part
和那个趁虚而入的小子结婚那会 Where I was about to marry the rebound guy
你想到"我的天" That you thought "hey oh my god!
"现在是不是该管管呢"? "this is a really good time for an intervention"?
-说真的? -是啊 - seriously? - yeah.
我那时吐在自己的手袋里了 所以... I like threw up in my own purse so...
-好啊 -早上好 - hi! - good morning.
-早 -早上好 - morning. - good morning.
早 早 早 Morning morning morning.
我真得来点咖啡 I could use some coffee.
我的就是你的 Well what's mine is yours.
你不介意的话... Here well you want to uh...
鄙人的咖啡即汝的咖啡 Mi coffee es su coffee.
-橙汁不错 -对 很好喝 - this is good orange juice. - yeah. it's very good.
好喝得离谱 这橙汁不错 It's ridiculously good. the orange juice is good.
-一般我不喜欢带果肉的 你呢 -一样 - I don't usually like pulp. you a fan? - not really.
-杰克 -干吗 - jack? - yes.
-能和你谈谈吗 -好 - can I talk to you for a second? - yep.
好 谈谈 当然 Yes. yep. talk. sure.
多般配的一对啊 They're so cute together!
我要是能用意念杀人 你就死定了 If I could make someone dead with my mind it would be you.
那个 So!
-美妙的夜晚啊 -是啊 - great night huh? - yeah!
我说 你真有趣 乔伊 I mean you are a lot of fun joy.
-真的吗 -是啊 - I am? - yeah!
太有意思了...我是说昨晚真是 A lot of fun. that... I mean last night was
真是 So
棒极了 Great.
事实上 也许有... Actually you know there was like...
那么一点点瑕疵... Maybe there was one tiny little thing...
我想我知道你说的那个 I think I know what you mean.
好吧 这个... Okay this...
说这个挺难的 所以我就打算... There's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to...
等等 你.. Whoa whoa. wait. are...
你是不是 Are you
-要甩了我 -你没有... - dumping me? - you didn't...
不! 我下楼来找你就是要甩了你! No! I was coming down here to dump you!
-天...我们就没事了 -是啊! - oh! jeez... okay so we're good! - yeah!
-躲过一劫 -还用说 - okay disaster averted! - you said it!
-劫后余生 -谁说不是呢 - yeah no. bullet dodged! - you betcha!
大难不死 必有后福啊! I mean pooch unscrewed! free at last!
-感谢天 感谢地 解放了 -知道了 好吧 - thank god almighty I'm free at last. - okay. I got it okay?
-够了 -对不起 我.. - got it. - okay. I'm sorry. i...
只是你看起像那种 You just seem like the type of girl
认真的找个另一半的女孩 Who's looking for a serious relationship
但是我不是...我是说...你有点... And I'm not that... I mean you... like...
别介意 你看起来挺麻烦的 No offense but you seem like a lot of work.
男人们会排着队向你献殷勤 但我不是... Like it would take like a team of guys and I'm not...
结婚已经过时了... Marriages are an outdated concept...
你又想甩我一次? Are you dumping me again?
我现在身处很奇怪的地方... I'm in a really weird place right now...
你指什么杰克? 开始的方式吗? where's that jack? the starting line?
哥们 我可得提醒你 你那子弹早就射了 Because I have news for you buddy. the gun went off a long time ago.
好啊 说到这个 祝你工作顺利 Okay! look at that! good luck with the job huh?
"员工抗压能力差" "employee handles criticism poorly!"
好吧 那也许你该开班授课了 杰克 Well then maybe you should teach a seminar jack
你被亲爹炒了鱿鱼! Considering you can't even keep a job with your own father!
生物学上"规定"爱你的那个人 You know the one person who's biologically programed to love you
都无法忍受你! And even he can't stand you!
瞧啊 Look at that.
你大老远跑到维加斯然后嫁给个陌生人 You had to come all the way to vegas and marry a complete stranger
只是为了证明你不是个机器人 Just to prove that you're not a robot.
恭喜你乔伊! 你有人类的感觉了! Congratulations joy! that was a feeling!
我确实有感觉了 我想吐! Oh I have a feeling all right! it's called nausea!
是吗 我有感觉了 Yeah? "oh I have a feeling all right!
"好想吐" "it's called nausea!"
-你才五岁吗 -其实是六岁 六岁 - how old are you five? - six actually. I'm six.
看吧 这就是为什么咱俩没戏 You know this is why we'd never work.
因为我永远不会要一个那么不入流的女人 'cause I could never ever be with someone that's so completely broken!
-不入流? -不入流! - broken? - broken!
不入流 你知道吗 你根本不了解我 先生! Broken. you know what? you don't even know me mister!
对 我不了解你 而且我还知道你也一样 No I don't know you and I got a feeling that neither do you.
解除婚姻关系那事我打给你 You know what? I'll call you about the annulment.
不如这样 发E-mail! How about this? why don't you just e-mail me?
-维加斯与你我同在 -那是我的硬币 - we'll always have vegas! - hey! that's my quarter!
真他妈... What the...
我们是冠军 朋友们 We are the champions my friends
不到最后永不放弃 And we'll keep on fighting till the end
我真的真的有钱了 我真的真的有钱了 I'm really really rich! I'm really really rich!
我们是冠军 We are the champions
那是我的二十五美分 That was my quarter!
我们是冠军 We are the champions
-我们成功了 -世界上最富有的人 - we did it! - richest man in the world!
不理会失败者 因我们是冠军 No time for losers 'cause we are the champions
大大的支票一张 我高兴死了 从没那么... A big giant check! I'm so happy! I've never been...
我太开心了 I'm really happy!
老天 是我的硬币来的 Oh my god! that was my quarter!
恭喜你啊 你的投资翻了三番 Congratulations! you just quadrupled your investment!
什么 你以为这钱都归你了? 上帝啊 What you think this is all yours? god!
对 是我的 放硬币进去和拉手杆的人都是我 Yes it's mine. I put the quarter in the machine and I pulled the lever.
是我把硬币留机子上的 My quarter on the machine that I was
也是我一直在那机子上玩 你才有机会 Using the one I loosened up for you!
很对! 请你原谅 That's right! now if you'll excuse me
我还有个彩色大支票要存起来 I have a giant colorful check to deposit!
不是说"我的就是你的 宝贝" Whatever happened to "what's mine is yours baby"?
咱俩结婚了 记得吧 We're married now remember?
更重要的是 法官大人 More importantly your honor my
我的当事人和麦娜莉小姐刚认识四个小时 Client only knew miss mcnally for four hours
他们就"结婚"了 Before they "got married "
其中三个半小时都是 Three and a half of which were spent in a state of
完全的酒醉状态 Total inebriation.
你 另一位 You. other one.
能提供证据证明你们都是在清醒状态下结婚 You have any evidence that you both knowingly entered into this marriage
并非无意义吗 That it's not just a sham?
我想想 Let me see.
便条可以吗 Would a note do?
算一个 It's a start.
然后还有照片 And then there's a photo.
不错 Nice.
我不知道那个 I didn't know anything about that.
除此以外还有 There's also
-一段录像 -我要养她 - a video. - and I am going to provide for her
我会爱她 I'm gonna love her
我要养她 And I'm going to provide for her
-因为我们结婚啦 -结婚了! - 'cause we're married! - married!
我们都有床上了! We're all gonna get laid!
那个是你吗 胖子? 他的律师? Was that you cueball? his lawyer?
我...我没带眼镜 I didn't... I don't have my glasses on.
我不喜欢你们 I don't like you.
一个都不喜欢 I don't like any of you.
你们这一代人 你们的维加斯 因特网 Your generation with your vegas and your internet
还有你们的"及时行乐" And your "i want it right now."
要知道同性恋都没有玷污婚姻的圣洁 You know gay people aren't destroying the sanctity of marriage
你们这些人才是 You people are.
婚姻意味着爱与承诺 Marriage is about love and commitment.
听着 我结婚有25年了 Listen I've been married for 25 years
都是和同一个美妙的气死人的女人 To the same wonderful infuriating woman
就算是我曾几次想用火烧死她 And granted there are days when I want to light her on fire
但我克制住了 因为我爱她 But I don't because I love her
当然那也不合法 And that would be illegal.
知道吗 也许我守旧了点 And you know something? I might be old-fashioned
但是我说誓言的时候 我是认真的 But when I said those vows out loud I meant them.
这人真是个话唠 This guy is such a douche.
在这之前 或者说如果 Before or should I say if
要我同意你们俩离婚 I ever allow either of you out of this marriage
我必须确定你们做了所有的努力 I'm going to make sure that you try everything
我说的"所有"是认真的 先要努力尝试 And I do mean everything first to make it work.
-我抗议 法官大人 你不能这样 -抗议 - objection your honor. you can't do that. - objection!
听我说 你们哪个没有住所 Watch me. now do either one of you have a place to live?
我暂时没有 法官大人 但是会有的 I don't at the moment your honor but I will.
听着 我... You see i...
我和前未婚夫分手了... My ex-fiance and I broke up and...
富勒太太 说这些对你的案子没有帮助 You know mrs. fuller you're not helping make your case here okay?
那么帅哥呢 有地方住吗 What about you pretty boy? you got a crash pad?
-有 -很好! 新房有了 - yes. - okay great! we have a hearth!
接下来的6个月我会冻结这三百万 I am freezing the $3 million for the next six months
而且判处你们执行6个月的婚姻 And sentencing you two to six months hard marriage.
这样我能观察你们的表现 And so I can keep an eye on you
我命令你们俩进行每周一次的婚姻咨询 I'm ordering you both into weekly marital counseling.
我希望你们听好了 I want you two to listen to me.
你们最好照我说的做 You better play by my rules on this or
否则我就把这钱的冻结在起诉程序里 I'm gonna tie this money up in litigation
长期地拖着 昂贵地拖着 That is so long so protracted so expensive
你们哪个都别想见到一毛钱 That neither one of you will ever see a dime of it.
好的 还有...对了 还有一件事 All right. anything... oh yeah! one more thing.
我现在宣布你们正式结为夫妻 I now pronounce you man and wife!
他能那么做吗 Can he do that?
他是法官 他乐意怎么做都行 Yeah he's the judge. he can do whatever he wants.
他明显是拿你们俩开刀当典型 And he clearly wants to make an example out of you both.
如果你按那法官说的做 If you just do what the guy says
他就不得不同意你们离婚 He's gonna be forced to grant you a divorce.
-也就是说 -你们很可能... - in which case... - you would probably...
平分...那笔钱... ...split... ...the money...
...作为夫妻共有财产 ...equally as marital property.
你在里面什么忙都没帮上 You didn't do anything in there!
-什么 -你什么都没做 - what? - you didn't do anything!
我叫她泼妇了 我叫她泼妇了 I called her a vixen! I called her a vixen!
-那么 -那么 - so? - so.
这6个月我做什么都行 I can do anything for six months.
我可以6个月不穿内裤 但是如果你不喜欢... I can not wear pants for six months. so if you aren't up to it...
我喜欢极了 Oh I am so up to it.
如果你是在暗示 我这样就怕了 And if you're trying to insinuate that I'm the one that can't do this
那你就大错特错了 性变态 Then you are sorely mistaken short bus.
行了! 那我们就达成共识了 Whoa! okay! so it's settled then.
好的 就当这是一次商业合作 All right. think of it as a business arrangement.
结婚6个月 150万美金到手 Be married for six months get $1.5 million.
-这能有多难 -我知道有多简单 - how hard can it be? - I know how hard it isn't.
请原谅 别挡道 谢谢 Excuse me. out of my way. thank you.
-老天 是这儿 -好极了 - oh jesus. here. - great.
拍摄中 微笑 Smile for the camera.
老公 是我 开门 Hi hubby it's me. open up.
上来 最顶层 It's all the way at the top.
她来了 She's here.
别演过了 Okay don't overdo it though.
看 我给新婚老公带什么来了 Hey! look what I brought my new hubby!
我想逗他开心 而男人喜欢啤酒 'cause I want to please him and men they like the beer.
看啊 多好的老婆 Hey look who's being a good wifey
真的用心维持她的婚姻 Really trying to make her marriage work.
"凸显身材"的内裤 好棒的礼物 Oh muffin pants what a wonderful gift.
为了感谢你 我要给你买一整箱的丹碧斯卫生棉 I'm going to buy you a big box of tampax just so I can thank you
因为那是好老公应该做的 'cause that's what good husbands do.
对不起 看到你我就无法控制自己 Sorry I can't control myself when I'm around you
我真是爱死你了 I just love you so much!
我更爱死你了 Not as much as I love you!
进屋吧 富勒太太 Shall we mrs. fuller?
来 我帮你 Oh. here. let me get this.
-我帮你拿这个 -等一下 - let me get that. oh. - wait a sec.
好滑 好滑 Slippery. slippery.
干吗 What?
抱歉宝贝 你有那么一点点超重 Sorry baby just you're a little on the heavy side.
欢迎回家 甜心 Welcome home sweetheart.
你就那么在客厅中央摆了个吧台 You literally have a bar in the middle of your living room.
没那么糟啊 It's not so bad.
我肯定不会住这 死也不会 但是... I mean I would never live here ever but...
什么 我参加过纽约市的马拉松 好吧 What? I ran the new york city marathon okay?
我能忍受这个 绝对没问题 I can do this. I can totally do this.
我的天 Oh my god.
我受不了! I can't do this!
一根都不许丢 知道吗 Don't throw any of that hair away okay?
我要收集起来做个特别的东西送你 I'm saving it up to make you something special
比如帽子或毛衣 Like a hat or a sweater.
目前还没想好 I still haven't decided yet.
你在这里面养猴子吗 Do you train monkeys in here?
说真的 Seriously!
喜欢一个男人是另一码事 It's one thing if you like a guy you
能忍受这些令人作呕的东西 Put up with disgusting stuff like this
但我又不喜欢你 所以清理干净 But you I don't care for so clean it up.
法院没判我待这儿 所以我先走了 I'm not here under court order so I'm going to take off.
-回见 哥们 -回见 - later buddy. - bye.
150万美金 $1.5 million.
来 这是抗菌剂 动手吧 Here. these are antibacterial. get to work.
看起来那个睡着挺舒服啊 That looks like it's gonna be comfortable for you.
卧室在哪儿 Where's the bedroom?
-在那里边 -好梦 - uh... it's in there. - sweet dreams.
好 Yeah.
这是什么 What is this?
好险 Ooh. that was close.
-好臭 -一点点我的味道 - that stinks. - just a little bit of me.
-老天 -还有点别人的味 管他呢 - oh god! - and some other people. whatever.
-需要帮忙吗 -要 事实上 - do you need some help? - yeah I do as a matter of fact.
最好打电话找人 You should probably call somebody.
干吗 What?
-来帮你 -够了 我能睡沙发吗 - to help you. - okay can I sleep on the couch?
不成 No.
鲜榨果汁 Smoothies!
让我进去 只要一下下就好 If I could just get in there for a sec.
我马上好了 一会儿出去 I'm almost done. I'll be right out.
不 等不了"一会儿"了 No no. "be right out" is not really gonna work.
不如立马出来 Like be right out right now.
快了 I'm almost done!
好... Okay...
对 你没看错 Oh yeah this is happening.
只能怪你自己 You only have yourself to blame.
顺便说一下 今天你刷盘子 By the way it's your day on dishes.
变态 Freak.
你在哪儿买的内衣? 医院吗 Where do you get your underwear? the hospital?
-什么 -说真的 运动文胸怎么样 - what? - seriously what's up with the p.e. bra?
舒适又能给予支持 就像一个男人该做的 Well it's comfy and supportive like a man should be.
你们这些女人 You women.
一开始 都是蕾丝啊 彩虹纹和前扣什么的 In the beginning it's all like laces and rainbows and trapdoors.
一旦结了婚 As soon as you get married it's
就只剩下肉色内衣的和卫生内裤 Nothing but these flesh tones and pms pants.
你该在脖子上再贴个标签 You might as well wear a placard around your neck
-写上"拒绝做爱 永远不" -永远不! - that says "we're not having sex ever." - ever!
-永远 -永远 - ever. - ever!
维加斯那个紫色的文胸哪儿去了 那个不错 What happened to the purple bra from vegas? that was nice.
我打算留给我下个智力正常的老公看 I'm going to save that for my non-retarded husband.
好了 大人该上班了 Well the grownups have to go to work today.
-你今天打算做什么 -还没想好 - what are you going to do all day? - I don't know yet.
我宁愿什么也不做并快乐着 I'd rather do nothing and be happy
也不想"做"我不爱的 than do something I know I don't love.
你就耍嘴皮子吧 小孩儿 Words to live by yanni.
加油干 工作狂 给我带个好 Beat it worker drone. tell the man I say hi.
-随便 笨蛋 -小心出门被车撞 - whatever loser. - hey don't get hit by a bus.
撞吧 爱咋咋的 Or do. whatever.
我相信奇迹 I believe in miracles
你来自何方 性感尤物 Where you from you sexy thing
我相信奇迹 I believe in miracles
自从性感的你出现 Since you came along you sexy thing
-麦娜莉 -你穿的什么 宝贝 - mcnally. - what are you wearing baby?
-你是谁 -你老板 - who is this? - your boss.
马上和那个拉丁妞一起上来 Get the chonger and get up here right away.
马上到 老头要我们上楼见他 Coming right up! okay. banger needs to see us upstairs.
经过15年忠心的工作 我们终于摆脱了鲍勃 After 15 years of loyal service we're dumping bob whatshisname
也就是说这间办公室归我们了 Which means that this office is gonna be up for grabs.
所以我打算提拔你们中的一个 So I'm going to promote one of you skirts out of the pit.
那可不是性骚扰 相信我查过了 And that's not sexual harassment. believe me I've checked.
你们是我的《壮志凌云》 是我的骄傲 You're my top guns girls. do me proud.
谢谢您 老板 Thank you sir.
那么 我想我是麦德林你是搭档古斯 So! I guess I'll be maverick and you can be goose.
管你要当谁 你还会是我的手下 Be whoever you want to be you'll still gonna be my subordinate.
-你说什么 -拉丁语来的 就是"我的婊子" - excuse me? - it's from the latin meaning "my bitch."
-你犯什么病 -我专吃你这样的女人 - what is wrong with you? - I eat girls like you.
-你"吃"女人 -不是那个意思 - oh you eat girls! - not like that.
-这样说得通了 -不是 - makes total sense. - it shouldn't.
-我不歧视那个的 -但是我不是... - no judgments. - but I'm not...
说说罢了 Just saying.
准备好了没 Ready to do this?
装作没有一看到你就想吐 Pretend like you don't make me vomit in my nose every time I look at you?
准备好了 Yes.
那么杰克 说说你自己 你有什么爱好 So jack tell me about yourself. what are your hobbies?
爱好 Hobbies.
你指的是除了我的婚姻 You mean besides my marriage?
我的爱好 My hobbies.
我的主要爱好就是爱她 Mostly I just like loving her.
自然的那种流露 It's just so easy.
除了这个 What else?
倾听 我喜欢倾听她的心声 只是... Listening. I love listening to what she has to say. it's just...
实际上 我随身带着这个笔记本 In fact actually I carry this notebook around with me
为了能做记录 因为太重要了 Just so I can write it down because usually it's so important.
还有呢 总之 就是支持她 What else? I think just being there for her in general.
使劲爱她 到她疼了为止 Loving her until it hurts.
疼了 It hurts.
那...我不知道 那很可能差不多就是我的爱好了 That's... I don't know that's probably most of my interests.
乔伊? Joy?
说得没错 I'd have to agree.
我得加一条 And I'd have to add you know
凝视他 Staring at him.
是的 我是说 我很喜欢凝视着他 Yeah. I mean I just love watching him be.
我喜欢他的一切 I love everything about him.
大多数人会不喜欢那些 Most people would be repulsed
比如发现他的袜子和脏内裤什么的 You know to find his socks and his dirty underwear
堆在床脚 Sort of down shoved in the bottom of the bed
半夜睡着碰到了 Touching them in the middle of the night.
你就想使劲 使劲搓了再搓 They might want to try to like scrub and scrub and scrub
就想把那些污渍和味道洗掉 但是... And try to get the stains and the scent off of them but...
我不会 我就是...喜欢! Not me. I just... I love it!
我就是...想在那些东西里面打滚 I just... I kind of want to just roll around in it!
她的蜡烛特别好闻 Her candles smell awesome!
知道吗 我拿了不少学位 You know I do have a few degrees
而且我读了一堆超级贵的学校 And I went to a bunch of really expensive schools.
总之呢 我对你们俩说的那堆屁话一点不买账 Anyway I'm not buying any of the bullshit you two are selling today.
如果你们想我和法庭报告说 Now if you want me to report back to the court
你们都为你们的婚姻而努力 That you're both working on your marriage
实际上你们必须要这么做 You're gonna actually have to do that.
爱情 我们玩的多么愚蠢的游戏 And love such a silly game we play oh!
像个五月的夏天 什么是爱 Like a summer's day in may what is love what is love?
我只是希望它变成爱情 I just want it to be love oh! oh! oh!
我能从你的亲吻中感觉到 I I I I I i can feel it in your kiss
它仅仅给我亲切的快乐 什么是爱 什么是爱 It just gives me tender bliss what is love what is love?
我只是希望它能变成爱情 I just want it to be love
对 这就是我想要在我的爆米花里放的调料 Yes that is the topping I wanted on my popcorn.
我知道盒子上写着 黄油爆米花 I know that the box said "movie theater butter "
但是你想一下 But you guessed it
我就是想要这种带有香甜的蛋蛋风味的 What I really wanted was jack's sweaty ballsack flavor.
多谢 Thanks.
谁能告诉我我迷失了 什么是爱啊 Who can tell me I am lost? what is love what is love?
宝贝 我只是给你想要的 I'm just giving you what you wanted baby.
注意 看它是如何起来和下去的 好吗 Pay attention. see how it goes up and down. okay?
它起来了 It goes up
接着它又下去了 就像这样 And then it goes down. like that.
看到了吗 不神奇吗 太让人惊讶了 See that? isn't that magical? amazing.
再看一次 再看一次 Watch one more time. one more time.
它上来了 对吧 接着它下去了 It goes up right? and then it goes down.
不! 不! 不要! 为什么 No no no no! why?
我真的真的需要进去 I really really need to get in there!
为什么不去用你的特别厕所呢 Why don't you just use your special bathroom?
这没有轻重之分 There's no heavy side!
-你拿着的是玻璃 -不 实际上它是轻的一边 - you got the window! - no that's actually the light side.
-厕所门去哪儿了 -我们家被偷了 - where's the bathroom door? - we got robbed.
他们偷走了那扇门 And all they took was the door.
150万美元 $1.5 million.
婚后的生活真是艰难 Marriage is hard!
我不知道别人是怎么做的 这绝不是人干的事 I don't know how people do this. it's unnatural.
女人和男人没有必要必须共存 Men and women are not meant to coexist.
我好久没做爱了! 好久 And I haven't had sex in forever. I mean forever!
我需要性 因为我擅长做爱 And I need to have sex 'cause I'm good at it!
这能使我找到自尊 That's a self-esteem booster for me.
-我不知道我能做这个事情 哥们 -真的? - I don't know if I can do this man. - oh really?
因为我从来没有尝过那个感觉 'cause I haven't been sensing that at all.
这就是为什么我做了一个小小的研究 That's why I did a little research.
我看过一些判例法 I've been looking through some case law
你知道 一些能帮助我们判定的先例 You know some precedent to help us get around the ruling.
我找到了一个叫拉夫蒂 v. 豪登的 And I think I found one. lafferty v. holden.
我不知道是否能这么做 You know tip I don't know if I can do this.
那我们接下来实行计划B Then we go to plan b.
我妈妈的第三次婚姻 Mother's third marriage was to this 20-year-old
嫁给了一个跛脚的有钱古巴酒保 Club-footed cuban bartender who came into a ton of money.
法院说如果他们都要钱 The court said that if they both wanted the money
就要认真去体验婚姻 并证明这个婚姻有继续的可能 They had to remain married and prove they can make it work.
对吧 Sound familiar?
妈妈证根本不在乎他的钱 Mother wasn't going to see a cent of that
不过接下来她会证明他的不忠 But then she proved that he'd been unfaithful
法院也会做出偏向她的决定 And the judge ruled in her favor.
然后把所有的钱给了她 And gave her all the money.
看到了没 法院说要你去证明 See the judge said that you had to prove
你在尽力尝试进行婚姻生活 That you were trying to make the marriage work.
如果你证明了是她没尽力呢 But if we can make it seem like she isn't...
我不明白为什么我之前没有想过这个问题 I don't know why I haven't thought of this before!
-因为你不是一个很好的律师 -天哪 - because you're not a very good lawyer. - oh my god.
应该是法律不好吧 There should be a law against how bad a lawyer I am.
但是再说了 我对它不是很清楚 But then again I wouldn't know about it!
就是说如果我能让杰克先提出离婚 So if I can get jack to end the marriage by either leaving me
或者欺骗我... Or cheating on me...
你不仅可以离婚... Not only would you get out of the marriage...
-你理所当然会拿到300万 -天哪 - you will also get the full $3 million. - oh my god.
-我爱你! 我想要吻你! -你想要吻我? - I love you! I want to kiss you. - you want to kiss me?
在你的优美的巨大的秃头中间 On your big beautiful prematurely balding man dome.
好啦 好啦 好啦 All right! all right. okay.
-游戏开始 姐们 -游戏开始 - game on sister! - game on!
-游戏开始 -开始 - game on. - game on.
破坏它 天哪 上帝 Destroy it. oh my god. oh jesus!
在南部有些石油精炼厂出了点问题 There are some refinery problems in the south
-所以让我们把目光转到原油上 -这太糟糕了 - so let's keep our eye on crude oil. - oh that's too bad.
我刚刚听到一个传闻 And I just heard a rumor
白金期货今天会非常活跃 That the platinum futures are gonna be very active today.
我的意思是我们干他妈的 上帝啊 I mean really let's do this mother! oh my god.
对吧 我是说让我们买它个狗娘养的 Right guys? I mean let's buy shit! let's buy shit!
你们看到了吗 我就是需要这样的人 Do you see that? do you see that people?
这样的精神! That's exactly the kind of spirit I'm talking about!
-你去做吧 -好的 没问题 - you go girl! - yes!
上帝 我是认真的 Oh my god seriously you guys!
上帝啊 我们在做什么 Oh my god! oh my god! what are we doing? what are we doing?
这发生什么事了 我的上帝啊 What's happening? what's happening? oh my god.
婊子养的 Son of a bitch. son of a bitch!
我们被锁在门外了 We got locked out of our apartment.
你介意我们在这里等到锁匠来吗 Would you mind if we just waited in here until the locksmith comes?
他说很快就来的 He said it would only be a few hours.
很快... A few...
当然 Sure.
-谢谢你 -太好了 - thank you! - great!
今晚我们貌似还有一些朋友要来 Also we were supposed to have some friends over tonight.
你介意他们也来这里等吗 Do you mind if they waited in here too?
我想我会非常疯狂的 I'll jump on that grenade too I suppose.
谢谢你 thank you.
-非常感谢你 -不 感谢你 - thank you so much. - no thank you. thank you.
欢迎光临寒舍 Welcome to my humble abode.
可能是我的朋友 Those are probably my friends.
我们是她们的朋友 We're the friends.
你们看起来就像朋友 -you look like the friends. you do.
这里有个辣妹聚会上演了 there is a hot girl party going on
-就在我的房间 -你在说些什么 - in my living room. - what are you talking about?
我在说有一大群漂亮姑娘... I'm talking about the fact that there are a buttload of beautiful women...
上帝 这里正在上演枕头大战 Oh my god. okay there's a pillow fight about to break out.
天哪 兄弟 这是个陷阱 Oh my god. dude it's a trap.
不 这不是 不 是事实 No it's not! no! this happens!
不 不是事实 No! it doesn't happen!
离开房子 现在就离开那所房子 Get out of the house! get out of the house right now!
她一定和我们的想法一样 She must have figured out the same thing we did.
好吧 就因为乔伊设了这个全套 Okay just because joy sets a trap
我们何不将计就计? Doesn't mean we can't play at the same game.
打给贝尔 你把所有我们认识的男人都叫来 You call bear you call every guy we know.
然后带些傻不拉几的股票经纪人过来 And get some boring stockbroker kind of guys
那种一看就想揍的 The kind of guys you and me would beat up.
越让人烦越好 The more boring the better.
她绝对没办法应付 She has no idea what she's gotten herself into.
你还好吗 You okay?
在这里 兄弟们 杰克 怎么样了 In here guys. yo jack what up?
就是这死女人我们到现在都不能动那笔钱 This chick's the reason we're not spending our money right now.
就是这死女人我到现在都不能左拥右抱 This chick is the reason I'm not having a six-way right now!
看 好像没奏效 我们要再叫些荡妇过来 So look. this isn't working. I think we need to call in some sluts.
-荡妇? 我认识荡妇 -给她们打电话 - sluts? I know sluts. - make the call.
是哪个丑八怪毁了你的生活? Which one of these ugly losers is ruining your life?
就是那个 穿粉色PARAD的那个 That one. the pink parade over there.
那是你老婆? That's your wife?
天哪 她看起来真他妈的性感 Oh my god she is so f-ing hot!
你脑子出什么毛病了? What is wrong with you?
你站在哪边 你站在哪边 Pick a team. pick a team. pick a team! right now! pick a team.
-快点 -她那儿 她那儿 - come on. - hers. hers! hers!
听着 姐妹们 尽你们所能去勾引他 Listen up girls. do whatever you need to do to get into his pants.
无视她 不要和她有任何眼神的交流 Ignore her. don't even make eye contact with her.
去看除了她的任何一个姑娘 这会使她疯狂的 Look at every girl in here except for her. it'll drive her crazy.
把他灌醉 不要让他溜出这个房间 Get him drunk. it'll slip right out.
去吧 Go!
我知道了 Oh I get it.
我知道你们这些男人在干吗 I get what you guys are doing. okay.
好的 我要去...谢谢 抱歉 借过 Well I'm going to... thank you. sorry. excuse me.
上帝啊 Oh god!
如果你想找人聊天的话 告诉我就好了 If you need anybody to talk to you know just let me know.
-谢谢 -出去 离开这里 - thanks. - get out of here. get out of here.
离开这里 离开 你们两个都离开 Get out of here! get out of here both of you!
我会给她钱的 I'll give her the money!
-我会给她钱的 -不 不 不 不要这样 - I'll give her the money! - no no no no no.
他妈的 Oh shit.
我收到举报说这里有噪音 I'm here about a noise complaint!
有人抱怨说你们的噪音还太小 Someone called to complain that you're not making enough noise!
-这是我参加的最好的派对 -这是我见过的最伟大的派对 - this is the best party ever! - this is the greatest party ever!
我被捕了 兄弟们 我被捕了 I'm arrested! you guys I'm arrested!
抱歉 我在找个安静点的地儿 Sorry. I was just trying to find some quiet
-从疯狂中出来 -是的 我...来点啤酒? - from the craziness out there. - yeah. yeah I'm... beer?
好的 Sure.
你真的以为我会笨到对你不忠吗 Do you really think that I'm dumb enough to cheat on you?
我想这只是时间问题 I think it's only a matter of time
而且我认为你会做出比这笨得多的事 And yeah I think you're more than dumb enough.
感谢你对我的信任 Thank you for the vote of confidence.
很荣幸 I appreciate that.
这对你来说一定很难 This must be so hard for you.
-什么 -谈恋爱啊 - what? - being in a relationship.
我一直都很擅于处理人际关系 Okay. I've been in relationships before all right?
得了吧 杰克 Oh come on jack.
我了解你 不要忘了我和你在一起生活 I know you. don't forget I have been living with you.
你确实不是一个做男朋友和丈夫的料啊 You're not exactly serious boyfriend/husband material okay?
-好吧 这对你来说也很难 -真的吗 - well this must be hard for you too. - really?
和我结婚 但很明显还爱你的前男朋友 Yeah being married to me when you're so clearly in love with your ex.
-我没有爱他 -对 - I'm not in love with him. - right.
那你为什么一直戴着那枚戒指 Then why are you still wearing the ring on your finger?
因为我的现任丈夫竟然从拉斯维加斯的 Because my current husband bought me one
自动贩卖机里给我买了一枚戒指! Out of a vending machine in vegas.
我只知道如果我被狠狠地抛弃了 All I know is if I get dumped on my ass
我不会一直戴着戒指 除非我还爱着他 I'm not wearing the ring unless I'm still in love with him.
-我没有爱着他 -好 - I'm not in love with him okay? - okay! right.
事实上我很高兴再也不用见到他了 In fact I'm happy I'm not with him anymore.
过去的4年中我一直在努力 I spent the last four years of my life
成为某人眼中最完美的人 Trying to be somebody else's idea of perfect
但是你知道吗 我做的对他来说还不够好 And you know what? I still don't feel good enough for him.
我不是那个意思 我只是... Okay that's not what I meant okay? I just...
不要着急 我会小心守着这个秘密的 Hey! don't worry! your secret's safe with me.
混蛋 随便你说吧 Oh you're such an ass.
你知道吗 现在我和他没有关系了 You know what? it's irrelevant now
因为我不介意是否再见到他 Because I don't care if I ever see him again.
谢谢你 宝贝 Wow. thank you baby.
-这使你变更更更特别了 -你知道吗 什么都没发生过 - that makes me feel so so so special. - you know what? it has nothing
-按你说的做了 杰克 -顺便说下 不要担心我 - to do with you jack. - by the way don't worry about me
因为我是个已婚男人 because I'm a married man.
你也不用和我做爱 另外再跟你说 We don't need to have sex. and I'll tell you another thing.
我不会去任何地方因为我不想把这一切都搞砸了 I'm not going anywhere 'cause I am not screwing this thing up.
我也是 因为这是场持久战 杰克 Neither am I 'cause I am in it for the long haul jack.
-只有死亡才能把我们分开 -那我会先杀了你! - till death do us part. - not unless I kill you first.
-她总是干涉我! -他整天无所事事 - it's like she's always there! - he doesn't do anything all day okay?
-左 右 上 下 -他好像还没有长大一样 - left right up down! - it's like he's not even a grownup okay?
-我没有哪怕一点点空间... -他无所事事... - I don't have an ounce of space... - he does nothing...
...仅仅是我 仅仅是我自己...一整天 ...for just me! just me! ...all day long!
-我像上帝发誓... -他想让我疯掉 - and I swear to god... - I think he's trying to drive me crazy!
-有一天 我们开了这个舞会... -他还在厨房的水槽里小便! - the other night we had this party... - he peed in the sink!
-...我看到所有的地方 -简直就是个雄性动物! 在水槽里小便! ...and everywhere I look... - I mean what kind of man animal...
...只有蠢驴才会那样做! ...it's just hot tit and ass everywhere! ...pees in the sink?
-是他不想让我们的婚姻... -是她不想让我们的婚姻... - it's like he doesn't even want... - it's like she doesn't even want...
-继续下去! -继续下去! ...this marriage to work! ...this marriage to work!
很好 你们在争吵 All right. you're arguing.
现在才像是一对真正结了婚的人 Now that felt like a real married couple.
你们进步了 You're making progress.
我到底在干吗 What am I doing here?
我们可以把她绑架了直到听证会结束 Oh we could kidnap her until after the hearing.
-可以把她放到我家 -上帝 我想到了 - she could stay at my place. - oh my god I got it!
我们可以假装她让你得病了 We make it look like she gave you some kind of disease!
我可以在30分钟内弄到一些有效的传染病 I can have a vial of crabs here in 30 minutes.
首先 我们让你得病 First we give them to you
然后我们让别人把病传给她 And then you know we get somebody to give them to her
所以看起来好像是她给你的 So it looks like she gave them to you.
我们以前讨论过这个主意了 You really hadn't thought that one through had you?
我可以当那个传给她病的人 这样更简单 I'll give her the crabs easily.
-你想不出别的主意了 -我想到了 这太完美了! - no more ideas from you. - oh I've got it! it's perfect!
这太完美了 This is great!
就像这样 Like that!
-你在干什么 -什么 - what are you doing? - what?
不 不 不 放松 放松 No no no no no no. relax relax relax. relax!
配合我一次 Stay with me on this one.
该死! 不要 别这样 你误会了 God damn it! no you don't get it! dude you don't get it!
杰克 你的脸怎么回事 Jack what happened to your face?
-我摔倒了 -你摔倒了? - I fell. - you fell?
是的 Yeah.
我的头撞到了门把手上 I hit my head on a doorknob.
好几次了 A few times.
我这两天摔倒了很多次 我只是... I fall a lot these days. I'm just...
我太笨了 I'm so clumsy.
杰克 你确定刚才说的是真的? Jack are you sure that's what happened to you?
确定没有人对你怎么样吗 Sure someone else didn't do this to you?
我活该 I deserve it.
我本来... I'm supposed...
我本来应该把马桶圈放下来 但我没有... I'm supposed to line up the hand towels just so and I didn't...
我没有这么做 我很抱歉 I didn't do it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
然后她说 把马桶圈放下来 Then she said "you put that toilet seat down
要不然我把你放倒 "or I will put you down!"
我会把它插进你的脑袋里让它待在那里 上帝啊 "i'll stick your head in there and I will make it stay!" oh god!
-...要看起来像真的 但不要... -好吧 ...look real but don't like... - all right.
-上帝啊 -什么 - oh god! - what?
可以让人以为是她把你打成这样的 He's gotta make it look real so it seems like she was beating you!
这不是真的 Not that real!
来吧 来吧 Hey come on. come on.
我们能回到治疗上了吗 Can we get back to therapy now?
好的 可以 Yes.
是的 可以 Yes we can.
我们是多么快乐的一对 Hi you've reached the happy couple.
我们现在没法接电话 We can't come to the phone right now
因为我们忙着爱来爱去呢 Because we're busy loving each other.
将婚姻进行到底 And making our marriage work.
-请留言 -请留言 - leave a message! - leave a message!
这是安妮特 Hi. this is annette calling
从特威彻医生办公室打来的 From dr. twitchell's office.
你好 Hello.
-是富勒太太吗 -是的 - yes mrs. fuller? - yes.
医生要取消今天的治疗 The doctor needed to cancel today's session
她问你周五有没有时间? And she was wondering if you could do friday?
你下午3点的有空吗 Do you have anything after 3:00 p.m. possibly?
-医生4点会有空 -太好了 - the doctor can do 4:00. - oh perfect.
-这是为我准备的 -我们到时候见 - that works for me. - we'll see you then.
-好的 到时见 -非常感谢你 - great see you then. - thanks so much.
-她完全入戏了 -漂亮 漂亮 - she totally bought it. - beautiful. beautiful.
-漂亮 -你欠我的 - beautiful. - you owe me.
一起来吧 你不需要公平竞争 Come on with your come on you don't fight fair
这没什么 看我是否在意 That's okay see if I care
用你最好的手段打动我吧 Hit me with your best shot
继续下去吧 Fire away
有人吗 Hello?
杰克? Jack?
出租车 Taxi!
过来朋友 Come on man! hey!
等一下 wait a minute.
拜托 Oh come on!
特威彻...特威彻... Twitchell... twitchell...
我是特威彻医生 Dr. twitchell speaking.
-我是乔伊·富勒 -富勒太太 - yes hi this is joy fuller. - mrs. fuller.
我接到安妮特的电话 Yes. I got a phone call from annette
说我们这次的治疗取消了 Saying that our session was canceled today.
我只想确定一下 I just wanted to double-check that.
当然没有取消 your session is definitely still on.
任何缺席会被认为是藐视法庭 And any absence is considered contempt of court.
是吗 It is?
混蛋 居然想让我错过治疗 Asshole! trying to get me to miss therapy!
河边75号 速度! 75th and riverside and step on it!
好吧 Okay.
什么 what?
祝你好运 没了钱包我看你怎么付出租车费 Good luck paying for that cab without your wallet.
只有5块钱? Only five dollars?
你偷了我的钱包? You stole my wallet?
钱包没了 是吧 下车 Lost your wallet huh? get out.
拜托 你想要什么 看看有没有你需要的东西 Come on. what do you want? we can work something out here.
-让我看看你的咪咪 -什么 - show me your breasts. - what?
这种事经常发生的 You'd be surprised how often it happens.
-好的 就一边 不要得寸进尺 -没问题 - okay one breast. that's all you get. - all right.
-看起来秀色可餐 -你有毛病啊 - nothing like a nice boob. - what is your problem?
什么 我喜欢咪咪 告我吧 What? I like breasts. sue me.
这周围有没有其他的路 Is there any way around this?
这像有其他路的样子吗 Does it look like there is a way around this?
冲啊 Go!
1 2 3 拉着我的手和我一起走 So 1 2 3 take my hand and come with me
因为你看起来如此完美 我真的想把你变成我的 Because you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine
-10个多少钱 -10个2美元 - how many for 10 of these? - ten for $2.
-好的 拿着5元 -没问题 - okay. here take five. - okay.
现在你不需要钱 你看起来是那样 宝贝 Now you don't need that money when you look like that do ya honey
我知道我们无需多说 I know we ain't got much to say
在我将你带走之前 Before I let you get away yeah!
这是布鲁克林 真有意思 大家上车了 There's brooklyn. very exciting. everyone back on the bus!
天气不错啊 What a day huh?
这个座位有人吗 Is this seat taken?
再说一遍 打扰了 抱歉 Pardon. excuse me. sorry.
-你太幼稚了 -拜托 - you are so immature! - please woman!
走开 Go away!
-疼死了! -你把我弄疼了! - that really hurt! - oh no! you're hurting me!
现在我们来到了中央公园 And here we are central park.
是啊 太美了 Yes isn't it beautiful?
朋友们 半个小时以公制换算 也就是30分钟 Half an hour people. that's 30 minutes for those on the metric system.
这个我拿了! 你不介意吧 I'll take that! you mind?
-怎么回事? -谢了! - what? - thank you!
我知道你肉体离我很近 Well I could see you home with me
心却随另一个男人去了 But you were with another man yeah!
我知道我们共同话语不多 I know we ain't got much to say
蠢货! Idiot!
在我放飞你之前 Before I let you get away yeah!
我说你愿意做我的女孩吗 I said are you gonna be my girl?
不 你错了 你什么都不记得了 No you're wrong. you can't remember anything.
你想起的是跟另一个人的第一次约会! You're remembering your first date with somebody else!
不! 那不是我们的第一次约会! No! it was not our first date!
你总是那样想 你总是那样 你神经错乱了! You keep thinking that. you always did. you are demented!
-不是的! -是的! It was not! - it was!
你记性... Your memory...
我记性差? 你连我们第一次约会都不记得! Mine? you can't remember the date!
是的 是你的... Yes it's your...
宝贝! 欢迎回家! Hi honey! welcome home!
妈! 爸! Mom! dad!
你们怎么到这儿来了? What are you doing here?
我听到你父母的留言 Well I got a message from your parents
于是我决定邀请他们过来晚餐 给你个惊喜 And I thought I'd surprise you and invite them over for dinner.
我从未被邀请到这儿 You know that I've never been invited over here?
不会吧! 真的? No! really?
你为什么不告诉我们结婚的事? Why didn't you tell us you got married?
我知道你还在气我开除了你的事 I know you're still mad at me about the firing
但也不能连结婚都不告诉我们吧 But you get married and you don't tell us?
那实在是太让人伤心了 That is very very hurtful.
-特别是... -爸 我... - especially... - dad i...
特别是当你娶了乔伊这样一个美女 Especially when it's a catch like joy here.
什么 what?
我们为你骄傲 杰克! We're so proud of you jack!
我们以为你永远都不会结婚了呢 We didn't think you'd ever settle down.
直到我们遇到这么个好姑娘 干的太好了! But then we met this wonderful girl. you couldn't have done better!
我们为你感到无比自豪 儿子 We are very proud of you son.
-好吧 宝贝? -怎么了 甜心? - okay. love biscuit? - yes tinkle monkey?
我能跟你说几句话吗 Can I speak to you for one second?
当然啦 Of course!
他大概是想给我个香甜的吻 He probably just wants to give me a big smooch.
我们一天都没见面啦 We haven't seen each other all day!
天哪! 要是出庭的时候你父母给我当目击证人 My god! how weird is it going to be in court
那也太奇怪了吧 When your parents are character witnesses for me?
很明显 你还没有向他们全盘托出 Well obviously you haven't told them everything.
没有 我在等你说呢 No I was waiting for you to do that.
要是我不呢 What if we didn't?
要怎么样你才愿意 What would it take for you to just keep
守住我们这个小秘密? This our little secret for a little bit?
我要你把厕所门装上 I want the bathroom door back.
而且我还希望马桶圈一直放下来 And I want the toilet seat left the f down.
不 No.
-一旦有一次没放下来... -我懂了 - one time up... - I got it.
我来打电话 ...and I make the call.
-就这么定了 -好的 - done. - okay.
爸 你知道 这次跟你相聚我真是太高兴了 Well jack sr. you know it is just so nice
因为是你教会了杰克一切 To finally meet the man who has taught jack everything he knows.
-我试过了 -肯定是有原因的 - I tried. - well something must've stuck.
你知道这个吧台是他亲手做的吗 Do you know he made this bar we're sitting at?
太美了 不是吗 看哪 Isn't it beautiful? I mean look.
拐角处楔形榫头合上了 Dovetail's off on the corner.
合上了! It's off!
我觉得它很不错 Well I think it's great.
事实上 我觉得杰克的家具可以拿去卖 I actually think that jack could sell his furniture.
我不知道 那他就得先把家具完整地做出来 I don't know. that would require actually finishing it.
也许你要是告诉杰克你不想让他把家具做好 Maybe you should try telling jack you don't want him to finish it
他反而会做好 Then maybe he would actually do it.
你周末有事吗 What are you doing on saturday?
你可以跟我们一起去公园啊 You've got to come to uncle pat's birthday
帕特叔叔在那举行生日宴会 in the park with us.
我很乐意 I would love to.
她对我的家人紧咬不放 She went after my family!
老兄 你让那个女人进入了你的内心 Dude you're letting this chick get in your head.
是啊 我知道 Yeah I know.
现在我要想办法进入她的 Now I'm going to figure out how to get into hers.
你永远都不应该让一个女人进入你的内心 You should never let a chick get in your head.
所以我从不跟我约的那些女孩儿谈心 That's why I prefer not to even talk to my dates.
有了! Yes!
我以前怎么没想到这个? 她玩儿阴的 我奉陪 Why didn't I think of this before? if she's going to play dirty so am i.
-你好 -尊美醇(一种威士忌) 加冰 - hi. - hey. jameson on the rocks.
-你是梅森吧 -是啊 - you're mason right? - yeah.
我是杰克·富勒 乔伊的朋友 I'm jack fuller. I'm a friend of joy's.
-乔伊的? -是的 - joy's? - yeah.
我只是想把这个还给你 I just wanted to give you this back.
她把它扔进了垃圾桶 She threw it in the trash.
但是 男人要讲义气 我可不能让它烂在垃圾堆里 But you know guy code I couldn't just let it end up in the trash.
我意思是 你买这个东西花了有5、6千吧 I mean you spent what like five six thousand on this thing.
实际上是3万 Actually thirty grand.
我拿好了 I got it.
好吧 谢谢 All right. well thanks.
不用 Okay.
她现在怎么样? Hey how's she doing?
不错 You know she's good.
她应该长胖了点 是吧 She's probably put on some weight though right?
因为分手后都要暴饮暴食一番 From all the emotional eating due to the break-up?
你还真是名不虚传 You really lived up to the billing. you know that?
乔伊告诉过我 你是个很棒的家伙 Joy told me what an impressive guy you are.
是吗 Oh! yeah.
她说她之所以尽力让自己完美是因为 She said she was trying to be so perfect because
内心深处 她从未觉得自己配得上你 Deep down she never really felt like she was good enough to be with you.
但那些不安全感已经成为历史了 But those insecurities are long gone now.
她现在找到自我了 她激情四射! She's really come into her own. she's on fire!
估计不久她就会名花有主了 I'll tell you what she not gonna be on the open market for very long.
-追她的人就像贪吃鱼一样贪婪! -贪吃鱼? - it's a feeding frenzy out there! - a feeding frenzy huh? yeah.
我要走了 Well I gotta get going.
帕特叔叔明天在竹林园有个生日宴会 My uncle pat is having a birthday party tomorrow in grove park.
乔伊和我都去 Joy and I are going.
好了 我要去拿她挑的生日礼物了 一包大麻 Anyway I gotta go pick up the present she got for him. bag of weed!
-她的主意 -真的? - her idea! - really?
她激情四射 she's on fire!
激情四射 On fire.
再次感谢 Well thanks again.
脱衣舞娘 你好啊 Stripper! hiya!
-我真想狠狠揍那家伙一顿 -你怎么老是想狠狠揍别人 - I so want to junkpunch that guy. - what's with you and junkpunching?
乔伊? joy?
你能来我真高兴 甜心 I'm so glad you could make it. hey sweetie.
-这是我朋友 蒂帕 -你好 蒂帕 我是朱迪 - hi! this is my girlfriend tipper. - hi tipper. judy.
-欢迎光临 -杰克在哪儿 - thanks for calling. - where's jack?
他在那边给那个孩子队当教练呢 He's over there coaching the little league.
你知道摔倒在地是什么感觉吗 Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor?
哭到勇气尽失 And cry your guts out till you got no more
来吧 宝贝 我想让我的儿媳 Come on sweetheart. I want my new daughter-in-law
-见见我们的家人 -要笑哦 - to meet the whole family. - smile!
1 2 3 One two three
-火箭队 -火箭队 - rockets! - rockets!
谁想吃糖? 冲啊! Who wants sugar? let's go!
这是什么 5英尺长的潜艇三文治? What is this like a five-foot hoagie?
这是我的侄女兼"永远的最好朋友"珊米·苏沙 This is my niece and bff the great sammy sosa.
珊米 这是你婶婶乔伊 Sammy this is your aunt joy.
-很高兴见到你 珊米 -你好啊 乔伊 - nice to meet you sammy. - hi joy.
我不知道你还给孩子队当教练呢 I didn't know you coached little league.
你不知道的还多着呢 Oh there's a lot of things you don't know about me. isn't that right?
杰克曾经戴着软尼帽 穿着皮夹克去学校 Jack wore a little fedora and a leather jacket to school
整整6个月 Every day for six months.
谁不想当印第安纳·琼斯? Who wouldn't want to be indiana jones?
我完全赞同 我是说 I agree completely. I mean
夺宝奇兵3是有史以来最好的电影 Raiders of the lost ark may be the greatest movie ever made.
-我不喜欢现在这个情形 -干吗 想跟我交心? - I don't think I like what's going on here. - what are we bonding now?
她看起来不错哦 杰克叔叔 She doesn't seem so bad uncle jack.
我觉得你们俩应该把钱一分 I think you guys should just split the money and stay married.
继续做夫妻 再生一大群宝宝 Make a hundred pretty babies.
你告诉她了? You told her?
是啊 我从不向珊米隐瞒秘密 我什么都告诉她 Yeah I don't have secrets from sammy. I tell her everything.
老兄 这才是生活 Hey man now you're really living
我刚看见太阳从山边升起 Well I just saw the sun rise over the
这从未给过我惊喜 Hill never used to give me much of a thrill
但 老兄 这才是生活 But hey man now you're really living
好了 女士们 我想我们该在这分手了 Well ladies I believe this is where we go our separate ways.
谢谢 Thank you.
大家一起唱 People sing
你知道摔倒在地的感觉吗 Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor?
哭到勇气尽失 And cry your guts out till you got no more
老兄 这才是生活 Hey man now you're really living
乔伊! Joy!
梅森 Mason.
-你来这干什么 -我过来看几个朋友 - what are you doing here? - I was just visiting some friends.
-在布鲁克林? -是的 是的 - in brooklyn? - well yeah. yeah.
布鲁克林 布鲁克林人 我很喜欢这儿 Brooklyn. the b.k. love it here.
是啊 他们是艺术家 Yeah they're artists. yeah.
你想去喝杯酒吗 顺便叙叙旧? Hey you want to go grab a glass of vino? maybe chat up for a bit?
现在不行 抱歉 I can't right now. sorry.
-好吧 也许下星期可以 -下星期我有聚餐 - okay all right. well maybe next week. - I have my retreat.
你看起来一切无恙 You seem fine.
不 我意思是你看起来棒极了 你看起来很棒 No I mean you look great. doesn't she look great? you look great.
谢谢 thanks.
我... I... yeah.
-我要走了 -我也是 我也是 - I gotta go. - yeah me too. me too.
-好 也许以后还有机会聚聚 -对 - all right well maybe some other time. - yeah.
很高兴见到你 这样的邂逅感觉真好 奇怪 Good seeing you. good bumping into you like that. weird.
保重 Take care.
-天哪 你爱上她了 -什么 - oh my god. you're falling for her. - what?
-你爱上你老婆了! 你这个蠢货! -你在胡扯什么 - you're falling for your wife! you idiot! - what are you talking about?
-她是个迷惑人的妖精 -"迷惑人的妖精" - she's a wily temptress. - "a wily temptress."
-是的! -你刚刚说"迷惑人的妖精" - yes! - you just said "wily temptress."
是的 我说了 因为那是事实 Yes I did because that is what she is.
迷惑人的妖精都干什么 杰克? And what do wily temptresses do jack?
她们都以一种迷惑人的方式让人上钩 然后再玩弄你 They tempt in a wily fashion. and then they play you.
先迷惑再玩弄 先迷惑再玩弄 她现在在玩弄你 我的朋友 Tempt play tempt play. and she's playing you my friend.
别让她迷惑了你 再夺走本来属于你的东西 Don't let her play you out of what is rightfully yours.
把注意力放在钱上 杰克 一切向钱看 Keep your eyes on the prize jack! eyes on the prize.
麦娜莉 你要干吗 周末休息? Hey mcnally. what'd you do take the weekend off?
找乐子去? have fun?
不 我也记得我不把工作放在心上的时候 No I remember when I didn't care about my career either.
很抱歉 只是周末我和我丈夫有事 I'm sorry I just had this thing this weekend with my husband's family...
你丈夫? 你结婚了? Your husband? you got married?
非常感谢你的邀请 你有男朋友的时候我都不知道 Well thanks for the invite. I didn't even know you had a boyfriend.
是啊 不 我结婚了 我没告诉你? Yeah no I'm married. I didn't tell you that?
没有 我想你不太爱跟别人分享喜悦 No you didn't. I guess you're not a big sharer.
好的 现在听着 乔伊 我在这一行干了很久了 Now listen joy I've been in this business for a long time.
我最欣赏员工的一点就是他们的诚实 And the thing that I value most in my employees is honesty.
所以我也跟你说实话 你现在跟钟不分胜负 So I'm gonna be honest with you. right now you and chong are tied.
钟准备带她丈夫参加公司聚餐 Now chonger is bringing her husband to the retreat.
-我觉得你也应该把你丈夫带来 -他会来的 - I think you should bring yours too. - he will be there.
-你放心吧 先生 -那就好 - you can count on it sir. - good.
直说吧 So let me get this straight.
她让你去参加她的公司聚会 She asked you to come to a retreat for her job.
是的 Yeah.
对她来说 没有什么事情能比那更重要了 The most important thing to her in the world.
你相信吗 我觉得"不会吧!" Do you believe that? I was like "no!"
我想说的是"你还待在这干吗" 'cause I'm like... I'm like "hey what are you still doing here?"
杰克! 你得去参加那个聚会 Jack! you have got to get your ass down there
扮成最完美的老公 迷倒他们 然后 Pretend to be the perfect husband charm them all and then
当你让他们全臣服于你的时候 When you have them eating out of the palm of your hand
你就让她签了这个 You make her sign this.
-这是什么 -这是份文件 - what's this? - this is a document okay
放弃对钱的所有权 Relinquishing all the rights to the money.
是吗 Right?
你告诉她要是她不签的话 You tell her if she doesn't sign it
你就让她在所有人面前下不了台 You're gonna out her in front of everybody.
这样做...你知道... I mean that's not you know...
这看着很寒碜 但我们可以... It's not pretty but we can...
把它裱一下 I can laminate it.
-我不知道 -听着 杰克 一周后就是听证会了 - I don't know. - okay look jack the hearing's in a week.
知道吗 这是我们最后的机会了 Okay? this is our last shot.
-麦娜莉 -班格先生 - hey mcnally. - mr. banger.
你丈夫在哪儿呢 So where's this husband of yours?
我刚见了钟的丈夫 很聪明的家伙 I just met chonger's husband. he's a very smart guy.
他很有手段 但很聪明 He's a tool but he's smart.
他在... He's...
于是这个宇航员说"我都没有阴道!" So the spaceman says "i don't even have a vagina!"
他在那儿! He's there!
我正要把这个拿给他 I'll just take this to him.
班格先生 我想借这个机会 Mr. banger I just wanted to take this moment
向你表示我的感激之情 To express to you my gratitude.
待会... I'll be seeing you at the...
餐桌上见 The dining table.
见到你太高兴了 I'm so glad to see you.
宝贝 我到处找你呢 Muffin I've been looking everywhere for you.
所以大家都应该在妻子身上安装防盗软件 This is why everyone should have their wife on lojack.
我来介绍一下我的朋友 这是大卫·杨 你的财务总监 Let me introduce you to my friends. this is david young your cfo.
杨先生 很高兴见到你 Mr. young. an honor. hi.
这些是你的其他上司 And this is the rest of your board actually.
他们都是大好人 大富翁 坐吧 快坐下来 Great people. wealthy people. sit down sit down sit down.
你就是那个幸运的小伙子 So you're the lucky guy.
-你好 我是杰克·富勒 -我是理查·班格 - hi. jack fuller. - I'm richard banger.
你坐在我的位子上了 You're in my seat.
等下 你叫理查德·班格? Wait your name is richard banger?
还不如叫勃起先生呢(banger有歧义) Your name is dick banger.
勃起先生! 勃起先生? Dick banger! dick banger?
先生 你这个笑话够我们笑一个星期了! You sir have just provided us with jokes for the whole weekend!
你一定是杰克·滚蛋了! Well you must be jack... off!
杰克·滚蛋! 来抱一个! Jack-off! give it to me baby!
-杰克·滚蛋 老兄! -他反击成功! - jack-off buddy! - he has a comeback!
麦娜莉 你都把这家伙藏哪儿了? Mcnally where have you been hiding this guy?
我都独自享用他! You know I've just been keeping him all to myself!
你得学会同别人分享 Well you gotta learn how to share.
好了 大家们 请坐吧 聪明人 钟 往那边挪挪 All right everybody let's sit down. brainiac chonger move over.
"杰克·滚蛋" 不错吧? 天哪 "jack-off." how about it? oh boy.
我不知道是什么让你改变主意的 I don't know what made you change your mind
我也不需要知道 我只是... and I don't need to. I just...
谢谢 Thank you.
-"杰克·滚蛋" 我喜欢那个名字 -是啊 我也喜欢 - "jack-off." I love that. - yeah I do too.
我喜欢你说那名字时候的感觉 因为... I love that that you said that. because it was...
当时 我... For a moment there i...
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
乔伊 快过来! 乔伊 Joy come on over! joy!
我来了! I'm on it!
-来了! -我来了 - yeah! - I'm on it.
好耶! 好耶! Yeah! yeah!
有人追求幸福 有人想找到人生伴侣 One looks for happiness one longs to find a partner
有人知道有一天爱情会来到 One knows that nowadays one love will be the answer
有人觉得世界很疯狂 有人需要换一种思维方式 One sees a crazy world one needs a fresh perspective
怎么样了? 她签了没? so what's up? she sign it yet?
没 还没呢 No not yet.
你别吓唬我了! You better not be pussying out on me!
别那么大惊小怪 Don't get your panties in a bunch.
我正在等她过来 I'm just waiting for her to get down here.
我现在要去给这些人热热身了 知道吗 Got to warm these people up you know?
好的 搞定了给我电话吧 All right well call me when it's done okay?
我在家等你消息 I'm holding down the fort in the meantime.
好的 yeah. all right
薰衣草 Lavender.
你太懂我了 You get on my head.
老天 这好滑 太特别了 Oh my god. that is slick. that is something else.
-你能相信吗 -不 - can you believe this? - no.
我想我错了 你确实打扮得干干净净的 I guess I was wrong. you do clean up pretty well.
怎么了 What?
没怎么 只是你...你... No you just... you...
我喜欢你头发这样弄 I like your hair like that.
谢谢 Thanks.
给我来两杯酒 Can I get two shots?
三杯吧 You know what? make it three.
你好 麦娜莉 杰克·滚蛋 你怎么样? Hello mcnally. jack-off how are you doing?
-班格先生 -你好吗 - hey mr. banger. - how are you?
很好 Good.
干杯 Cheers.
"大家好 我叫'乔伊的婊子'" "hello my name is joy's bitch."
今晚怎么样? 你们玩的高兴吗 How's it going tonight? you guys having fun?
干得好 麦娜莉 我以前不知道你这么有意思 That's a good one mcnally. I had no idea you were so much fun.
她工作时十分严肃 She's very serious at work.
你还对她了解的不够多 她就是一只性感小野猫 You don't know her that well. this one's a wildcat.
-我不会对你说谎的 大家伙 - I wouldn't lie to you big dick.
-你要是说谎的话 我就杀了你 - well if you did I'd have to kill you.
-说真的 -这个女人最爱的 - seriously. - there's nothing this woman loves
-莫过于冒险了 -是吗 - more than a good dare. - really?
是的 你看过她怎么打开香槟吗 Yeah. you ever see what she can do with a champagne bottle?
太不可思议了 绝对令人吃惊 unbelievable. shocking.
不 这只是...聚会上玩的小把戏罢了 no it's just... it's a party trick.
不是... It's not...
我打赌你不敢 I dare you.
-我讨厌你 -你爱我 - I hate you. - you love me.
太棒了! 太棒了! Very good! very good!
太精彩了! 要是我以前知道你有这样一面 Terrific! you know had I seen this side of you before
我可能早就提拔你了 I probably would have promoted you a long time ago.
跳进舞池 Get down on it
-这太多了 -该你了 - that's a lot. - your turn.
我说 你不应该这样做 You know what? you shouldn't do that.
你一定得这样 好吗 You've got this okay?
扔骰子 Throw the dice.
你一定得扔 You've got this.
-我们需要多少? 7? -7! - we need what a seven? - a seven!
-好的 -扔个7 - okay. - throw a seven!
7 Seven.
天哪! Oh my god!
-谢谢 谢谢 -不用 - thank you. thank you. - you're welcome.
我们搞定了 就到这为止吧 行吗 我们...好吧 We're done. can we quit? can we quit? we're... okay.
扔这儿 Throw it in there.
谢谢 女士们先生们 请大家站到一起好吗 Thank you. ladies and gentlemen would you please gather round?
过来吧 别紧张 Come on. don't be afraid.
获得今年"握手金奖" this year's golden handshake award
的最佳团队精神 是一个新面孔 For best team spirit goes to a new face
也是我很高兴认识的 And one of the funniest son of a
最搞笑混球 Bitches I've ever had the pleasure to know.
你们应该知道我说的是谁 And I think you know who I'm talking about.
杰克·混蛋 jack-off!
上来吧 快点 Get up here! come on!
恭喜你 杰克·混蛋 Congratulations jack-off.
谢谢各位带来这么美妙的周末 我... Well thank you all for an amazing weekend. i...
我要感谢我的妻子 乔伊 I have to thank my wife joy.
她应该没有告诉你们 She probably never told you
我们是怎么认识的 all the story about how we met.
在座各位可能会觉得很惊讶 It might come as a surprise to many of you
我们认识没多久就结婚了 That we didn't know each other for very long before we got hitched.
我能说什么呢 你知道 What can I say? you know?
你明白的时候 自然明白 when you know you know.
新婚之夜 On our wedding night.
我们都急着跑回蜜月套房 we were so busy running back to the honeymoon suite
我们都没来得及跳第一支舞 That we never really got a chance to have a first dance.
所以... So...
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen
有请杰克·富勒夫妇献上他们第一支舞 For the first time mr. and mrs. jack fuller!
最初 一无所有 First,when there's nothing
但梦想慢慢点燃 But a slow glowing dream
驱散你的恐慌 That your fear seems to hide...
你听到了吗 You hear that?
-他们都在敲杯子 -是的 他们都在敲杯子 - they're clinking. - yeah. they are clinking.
他们想让我们接吻 I think that means they want us to kiss.
如果这是群众想要的... Well,if that's what the crowd wants...
你不接受的话没必要 没关系 Yeah.but if you're not up for it you don't have to. it's fine.
在一个钢筋世界 In a world made of steel
水泥世界 Made of stone
我听到乐声 Well I hear the music
闭上双眼 感受旋律 Close my eyes feel the rhythm
萦绕四周 Wrap around
填满我内心的空虚 Take a hold of my heart
感觉真妙 What a feeling!
感受真切 Being's believing
我不禁为生活翩翩起舞 I can't have it all now I'm dancing for my life
点燃激情 Take your passion
创造奇迹 And make it happen
好了 All right.look.
你上一次感到真正开心是什么时候? When's the last time you were like really happy?
-真正开心? -别说是维加斯 - really happy? - and don't say vegas
因为你说是的话 我会...我会哭的 Because if you do,I'll just...I'll have to cry.
好的 Okay.
有那么一天 There was this one day
在没有改变 认识梅森之前 Before the exchange,before mason.
我觉得很刺激 我搭船 I was feeling really adventurous so I took the ferry
去市东大概30里外 about 30 miles east of the city.
那里有一座很高的灯塔 There was this great lighthouse.
就在沙滩边上 木板路旁 I mean it was just right on the beach off the boardwalk.
你一个人去的? you went there by yourself?
我就坐在沙滩上 You know.I just like sat on the beach
听着海浪声 看日落 Listened to the waves watched the sunset.
天啊 我觉得无忧无虑 没有负担 God! I had no concerns you know? I had like no responsibilities
没有工作压得我喘不过气 No job stressing me out.
不用去讨好其他人 只有我自己 I had no one to please but myself.
-就是你的那张照片 -对 - that's that photo you have. - yeah.
那是美好的一天 That was a great day.
我确实退出游戏了 I did take myself out of the game.
只要不赌下去 If you stop betting
就不会输 You never have to lose.
我会跟你赌 杰克 I'd bet on you jack.
漫长的一天 是吧 So long day huh?
是的 Yeah.
我们还是睡觉吧 So we should probably get to bed.
对 Yep.
你能帮我解拉链吗 Can you undo my zipper?
-它卡住了 -行 行 - it gets stuck. - yeah! yeah.
当然 Absolutely.
好的 All right.
好了 解开了 All right. okay. there it is.
谢谢 Thanks.
我...这些... Hey.i... these...
-我没有翻你的东西 -没关系 就放那吧 - I wasn't in your things. - it's okay. just leave them right there.
我可以放回去 I can put them back.
晚安 富勒先生 Good night.mr.fuller.
晚安 富勒太太 Good night.mrs.fuller.
无所谓 It's all right.
没关系 It's okey.
一切都无所谓 Everything's all right.
无所谓 It's all right
一切都无所谓 Everything's all right
没关系 It's okay
好的 我在路上了 我知道 Okay.I'm on my way. I know.
马上就结束了 我就快恢复自由了 It's almost over. I'm about to be a free woman.
-乔伊 乔伊 -干吗 - joy. joy! - what?
我要挂了 I have to go.
-梅森? -是我 - mason? - yeah.
我现在没空聊天 对不起 I can't talk right now. I'm sorry.
我得走了 我... I have to get going. I just...
我想跟你复合 乔伊 I want you back,joy.
-什么 -跟你分手是我最大的错 - what? - I made a huge mistake letting you go.
我现在明白了 I see that now.
那天见到你 浑身散发着光彩 Seeing you the other day you had this glow about you.
不是说你以前没有... Not that you didn't before it's just...
有时 只有失去了 Sometimes it takes losing something
才会懂得去珍惜 For you to realize what you had.
我想弥补我所犯的错 I want to make up for the wrong I did to you.
这是你的 This is yours.
我以前给你的 我希望你能带着它 I gave it to you and I want you to have it.
-你从哪儿拿的? -而且 乔伊 - where did you get this? - and joy
对我来说 你已经够好了 You are good enough for me.
我是认真的 I mean that!
现在开庭 Court is called to order.
瞧瞧 瞧瞧 开心的一对 Well,lookie here,lookie here!the happy couple!
6个月下来 你们学到什么了吗 Six months down the road. did you learn anything?
我们来看看 We'll see.
特威彻医生 在你看来 这对夫妇 Now,dr.twitchell,in your opinion did the couple
杰克·富勒和乔伊·麦娜莉 Jack fuller and joy mcnally
遵从法院的指令 以夫妻关系共同生活 Obey the court order to live together as man and wife
您认为他们有充分努力经营他们的婚姻吗 And do you believe they put sufficient effort into the marriage?
他们两个 These two have
有一大堆问题 A lot of issues.
一大堆很不稳定的问题 A lot of deeply unsettling issues
各自都要认真努力改变的问题 That as individuals they seriously need to work on.
真的 Seriously.
但在一起 But together
我真的认为 in my honest opinion
他们是天造地设的一对 They're perfect for each other.
这是事实 It's the real thing.
好好想想 Go figure.
谢谢 医生 Well,thank you,doctor.
你可以退席了 you may step down.
蒂帕 Tipper!
你好 法官大人 Hi,your honor.
你减肥啦? Have you lost weight?
我知道了 开始吧 Gotcha. let's begin.
虽然 Although ms.
麦娜莉小姐给我的当事人增加了2.5万美元信用卡债务 Mcnally ran up $25000 in credit card debt in my client's name
我的当事人近期也在购置 My client recently spent the same amount
家私生意材料上花费了同等金额 For materials for his new furniture business.
因此 我们提出以下解决方案 法官大人 Therefore,we propose the following settlement your honor.
原本的300万奖金 扣除一半的税收 The original $3 million deduct half for taxes
和已花费的5万美金 And $50000 that's already been spent
仅剩145万美金可以分配 That leaves $1.45 million to be divided...
平分 Equally.
这才是精髓 你们学会了分享 Now that's the spirit! you've learned to share!
你们接受吗 do you accept?
不 法官大人 我们不接受 No,your honor.we do not.
贪财的女人 Gold-digging whore.
我的当事人刚提出 My client has advised me that
她不要一分钱 she doesn't want any of the money.
只要离婚 She just wants a divorce.
麦娜莉小姐 你确定吗 Miss mcnally,are you sure?
是的 法官大人 我确定 Yes,your honor.I am.
那我现在宣判准予离婚 Well,then I hereby grant the divorce
且奖金归富勒先生所有 and award all the monies to mr.Fuller.
休庭 Court adjourned.
你赢了 杰克 You win,jack.
我不会要你任何东西 I officially want nothing from you.
我的天啊 Oh,my god.
我赢了一场官司 上帝 I won a case! jesus christ!
兄弟 我们赢了 Dude,we won!
我赢了 I won!
我是律政狂人 Yeah! I'm the law bitches!
我是律师了 I'm a lawyer!
敬我的 To me!
有人要请律师吗 Anybody need a lawyer?
今晚我要离去 And tonight I have to leave it
时间能治好所有伤痛 Time heals all wounds.
你们现在正式吹了 Now that you guys are officially
我现在能要她的电话号码吗 Done I was hoping to maybe get her number.
没错 今晚我要离去 Yes,tonight I have to leave it
为何不跟我说你喜欢我 Don't you come up to me and say you like it
好吧 Yeah,okay.
你不必现在就回答我 You don't have to answer that right now.
我要问个问题 Hey,I have a question.
买一个小岛要多少钱 How much does an island cost?
今晚我要离去 And tonight I have to leave it
没错 今晚我要离去 Yes,tonight I have to leave it
现在决定议程的最后一个项目 Now we come to the final item on our agenda.
恭喜你 麦娜莉 Congratulations,mcnally.
谢谢你 先生 我不会让你失望的 Thank you,sir. I won't let you down.
我想我会令你失望的 Okay,I think I'm gonna have to let you down.
要不把这个工作给钟吧 Why don't you just give it to chong you know?
她很能干 她应得的 She's good,she deserves it
除此以外 我觉得她很享受这种痛苦 And besides I think she just enjoys being miserable.
-太好了 -你确定自己在做什么吗 - yes! - you sure you know what you're doing?
不 我不知道 No,I don't.
但我觉得这才是重点 but I think that's the point
我宁愿快乐的无所事事 I would rather do nothing and be happy
也不要做我不喜欢做的 Than do something that I don't love.
那就让她快乐去吧 Well,I lost her at happy.
反正我也不知道她想说什么 I don't know what the hell she was trying to say anyway.
好样的 钟 工作是你的了 Well done,chonger. the job is yours.
谢谢 Thank you.
杰克做了一件家具 So! jack made a piece of furniture.
他做完了 He finished it.
好了 说吧 老爸 又有什么毛病 Okay. go ahead,dad. what's wrong with it?
没有 很好 Nothing. it's good.
真的很好 It's really good.
我为你感到骄傲 I'm proud of you.
-谢谢 -但是... - thank you. - but...
又来了 Here we go.
那个女孩子的事 你却搞得一塌糊涂 you royally screwed up when it comes to that girl.
这完全是个愚蠢至极的误会 It was a big stupid mistake.okay?
整个婚姻都只是个谎言 the entire marriage was a lie!
婚姻可能是误会 但绝不是谎言 The marriage might have been a mistake but it was not a lie.
而且任何和你们相处过的人 And I think that anybody who has spent time with you two recently
都会这么说 Could tell you that.
你为什么不清醒一点 So why don't you get your head out of your ass
想想办法弥补 And go do something about it?
或者我该说你不要去 而你又会去? Or should I tell you not to and then maybe you will?
-她走了 老兄 -走了? 什么叫走了? - she's gone,man. - gone? what do you mean gone?
她有点迷失了 She like lost it.
她辞职了 手机也关了 she quit her job shut off her phone.
就走了 she took off.
听着 我可不关心你 Look,I don't really care much for you
而且我要和你朋友海特划清界限 真的 And I want to cut your friend hater.seriously.
但出于某些原因 But for some reason
你是唯一能让乔伊找到自我的男人 You're like the only man that joy can actually be herself with
所以我也想告诉你她在哪儿 So I wanna tell you where she is I really do.
但我不知道 I just don't know.
-那你知道什么 -我不知道 你要是痛不欲生 - what do you know? - I don't know. if you were miserable
想开心起来 你会去哪儿 And you wanted to get happy again where would you go?
怎么了? What?
谢谢你 Thank you.
好吧 我跟你说 我们一起去 Okay tell you what.we both go.
她见到我们时 That way when she sees us both
她就能下定决心跟谁了 She can make up her mind on who she wants to be with.
我把带锯押给你了 I've loaned you my band saw
我还把啤酒龙头押给你了 I've loaned you my beer tap.
你知道怎么开车吗 Do you even know how to drive an automatic?
钥匙 把钥匙给我 The keys. give me the keys.
给 对不起 Here. sorry.
去找你的未来前前妻吧 Go get your future ex-ex-wife.
突然发觉我浪费太多时间 What a waste of time the thought crossed my mind
但我不会错失良机 But I never missed a beat
无法解释过去的我 Can't explain the who or what I was
试着相信 Trying to believe
该怎么办 What would you do?
该怎么办 你可知 What would you do? do you know?
我曾紧紧抓住一切 I once had a grip on everything
现在更觉应该放手 It feels better to let go
我无法忘记 I'm not over
我还无法忘记你 I'm not over you just yet
无法隐藏 Cannot hide it
你太不容易忘却 You're not that easy to forget
我无法忘记 I'm not over
你找到我了 You found me.
你把这个落下了 You left this behind
我想把它还给你 And I wanted to bring it back to you.
你知道市东30里内有几个灯塔吗 Do you know how many lighthouses there are 30 miles east of the city?
-几个? -5个 - how many? - five.
-真的吗 -是的 你可能不知道 - really? - yeah,just in case you're wondering.
那么 So.
你大老远过来就只想把这个还给我? Did you come all the way out here just to give this back to me?
是的 所以我现在就走 I did. so I'm going to get out of here.
好了 是这样的 All right.here it is.
我们结婚时 When we were married
我很糟糕 I was horrible.
病态 什么都错 Sick. just wrong.
但那是我最享受的时光 And it's the best time I've ever had.
你跟我赌 乔伊 You bet on me,joy
你也让我想跟自己赌 And you made me want to bet on myself.
所以 不要想其他人 So don't think about anyone else
只为你自己回答这个问题 And just answer this for you.
你愿意嫁给我吗 Do you want to be married to me?
再次 Again?
知道吗 You know
这么久以来 我只想尽量讨好每个人 For so long,I've just...I've tried to please everybody.
而且尽量不讨好你 And by not trying to please you
我觉得又找到自我了 I think I became myself again.
我真的 I do
愿意再嫁给你 Want to be married to you again.
我辞职了 I quit my job.
我听说了 I heard.
我完全不知道接下来该做什么 没头绪 I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do. no clue.
还好我有... Well,it's a good thing that I have...
我们有一大笔钱 that we have a ton of money.
天啊 Oh,my god!
没错 我们摇中了头奖 That's right. we hit the jackpot.
没错 我摇中的 Yeah,I did.
现在 乔伊 你愿意嫁给他 Now,joy do you take this young man
作为你的合法丈夫 To be your lawfully wedded husband
不论生病还是健康 in sickness and in health...
不论富有亦或贫穷 for richer or for poorer
我愿意 我嫁他 I do. I take him.
下流 下流 Naughty! naughty!
杰克 你能给她带上戒指吗 Jack.would you put the ring upon her finger?
-是这支手指吗 -就是这支 天啊 - was that the one? - that was it! oh my god!
你可以吻新娘了 You may kiss the bride.
这是我这辈子最棒的一天 This is the greatest day of my life!
-这是我这辈子... -怎么了? 怎么了? - this is the greatest day of my... - what? what?
天啊 Oh my...
这真不可思议 简直不可思议 This is marvelous.simply marvelous.
-再见 谢谢 -再见 - bye! thank you! - bye-bye.
你们玩得开心点 Have fun you guys!
那里太好玩了 你们肯定喜欢 It's so much fun in there! you guys are gonna love it!
-娘儿们 -见鬼 - woman! - holy shit.
-娘儿们 -来啦 - woman! - I'm coming!
这里没人喜欢你 走开 找条路 No one here likes you go away get a clue
回你的动物园去 Go back to your... zoo
我们面面相觑 And now we're standing face to face
世界如此疯狂 Isn't this world a crazy place
为什么 Why?
你知道为什么 You know why!
这里没人喜欢你 走开 找条路 No one here likes you,go away,get a clue
回你的动物园去 随便你干什么 Go back to your... zoo or whatever it is you do
我不知道为什么我不喜欢你眼中的世界 I don't know why I don't like what's in your eyes
且我喜欢把它们远远分开 And I'd love to split them wide
我可以假装 I could pretend
难道你不明白 我恨你 朋友 Can't you understand I hate you my friend
有人说这是狂妄 Some call it an obsession
也有人说这是良性憎恨 And some call it a good hate
而我只称它为怜悯 And I'll just call it pathetic
但有人完全认同 But some totally relate
我宁愿下地狱 也不想和你握手 或祝福你 I'd rather go to hell than shake your hand or wish you well
除非你不明了 In case you couldn't tell
继续喝你的酒 小子 继续做你的事 Go ahead boy drink your drink go ahead boy do your thing
你能明白我唱的是什么吗 Can you learn the words to every song I sing
我可以假装 I could pretend
难道你不明白 我恨你 朋友 Can't you understand I hate you my friend
有人说这是狂妄 Some call it an obsession
也有人说这是良性憎恨 And some call it a good hate
而我只称它为怜悯 And I'll just call it pathetic
但有人完全认同 But some totally relate
这里没人喜欢你 走开 找条路 No one here likes you go away get a clue
回你的动物园去 随便你干什么 Go back to your... zoo or whatever it is you do
我可以假装 I could pretend
难道你不明白 我恨你 朋友 Can't you understand I hate you my friend
我恨你 朋友 I hate you my friend
你一会儿干吗 今晚有流星雨 What are you doing later? you know there's a meteor shower tonight.
你知道吗 You know what?
杰克是我们的粘合剂 Jack was our glue.
我感觉他走了让我们更亲近了 I feel like the fact that he's gone makes us a little closer.
不 让我们有点... No.it makes us a little bit just...
距离更远了 The opposite of that.
想跟我去派对吗 You like to party?