-生日快乐 -别 -Happy birthday. -Don't.
-怎么了 -别提醒我 -What? -Don't remind me.
你18岁的生日 不开心吗 It's your 18th birthday. Aren't you happy?
-开心 -而且明天就是万圣节了 -Yes! -And it's the day before Halloween.
都很好啊 Yes, all of that is good.
所以啊 那有什么问题呢 So? What's the problem?
你想看看有什么问题吗 我给你看看 You wanna see a problem? I'll show you a problem.
-你看他 -什么 -Look at him. -What?
太逊了 He's so lame.
嗨 Hi.
很可爱啊 No, it's cute.
他戴着一顶生日帽呢 He's wearing a birthday hat.
他很激动 今天是你生日嘛 He's excited. It's your birthday.
他每年都这样 什么时候是个头儿啊 He does this every year. Like, when is it gonna end?
嗨 Simmons先生 Hi, Mr. Simmons.
-嗨 爸 -嗨 -Hi, Dad. -Hi.
爸 够了 从我五岁起 你每年都这样 Dad. Okay, you've been doing this every year since I was five.
-可以停下了吗 -什么意思嘛 -Can you stop now? -What do you mean, can I stop?
这是传统啊 我们必须这样做 This is tradition. We have to do it.
生日快乐 生日快乐 Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
谢谢 好了 把那顶傻帽子摘下好吗 Thanks, okay. But can you take off the stupid hat?
-这帽子不傻的 -很傻 -This hat is not stupid. Come on. -It's stupid.
快摘了 太丢人了 Take it off. It's embarrassing.
好吧 好好好 Okay, all right. Fine. Fine. Fine.
好吧 现在你该说什么呢 Okay! Now what do you say?
我不跟你玩这个 I'm not playing this game with you.
好吧 那你就得不到礼物 Fine. Then you won't get your gift.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 仔细一想 我跟你玩 Okay, you know what? On second thought, I'll play.
好的 开始吧 我就说吧 Yeah, there we go. See? See, I told you.
开始啦 开始喽 Here we go, BJ. Here we go.
爸爸 你怎么在这儿 Dad, what are you doing here?
来接你啊 I just came to pick you up.
为什么来接我啊 Why did you come to pick me up?
不为什么 No reason.
她太假了 爸 Mmm. She doesn't sound convincing, Dad.
别找事儿 可以把礼物给我了吗 BJ, stay in your lane. Can I have my gift now?
听着 我们回家后再拆礼物吧 Well, listen, why don't we just wait until you get home?
家里那么多人呢 Everybody's at the house.
我能现在就打开吗 Can't I just open it now?
家里没人 你说什么呢 Nobody's at the house. What are you talkin' about?
-家里没人 -什么意思 -Nobody's there. -What's going on?
超累人的放学后生日派对 My tired after-school birthday party.
能把礼物给我吗 Can I please have the gift now?
好吧 拿着吧 Fine. Bam! Take it.
-谢谢 -给你* -Thank you. -There you go.
是耳机 这样我们开车的时候 我就不用听到你的音乐了 It's headphones. So when we're driving, I don't have to listen to your music.
你可以带上耳机 在我的车里听你喜欢的音乐 You can just plug in and listen to your own music in my car.
等等 车呢 Wait, where's the car?
在那 It's right there.
我的吗 Mine?
我18岁的生日礼物吗 For my 18th birthday?
不 是我的 没有车给你啊 你说什么呢 No, that's mine. You're not getting a car. What are you talkin' about?
爸 不 我今年该有车了 Dad, no. This is the year I'm supposed to have a car.
我高中要毕业了 马上要上大学了 我18了 I'm graduating high school, going to college. I'm 18!
好吧 我们谈过这个的 Okay. We talked about this.
首先 你没什么责任感 还不能有车 好吗 First of all, you're not responsible enough to have a car, okay?
而且你车技超烂 And your driving sucks.
好吧 那...但问题是 Okay, that's... But here's the thing.
如果你想要车 你得自己努力去得到 If you're gonna have a car, I think you need to earn it.
不能直接给你 I don't think it should be given to you, okay?
而你的努力还不够得到车 所以抱歉了 And you haven't earned it. I'm sorry.
妈妈就让我开车 Mom lets me drive.
你现在还不能有车 Tiffany You're not ready for a car, Tiffany.
必须得等你有责任感了才行 你得好好努力 You have to be responsible. You have to learn what's going on.
我知道你妈妈让你开车 I know your mom probably lets you drive.
但是你妈妈她自己就有问题啊 But your mom kind of has a bit of an issue.
我听到了 I heard that.
天哪 来得真是时候 Damn. Like Candyman.
我不是说你判断力... I didn't mean you weren't, like, the best judge...
不用辩解了 You meant what you said.
-宝贝儿 -妈妈 -Hi, honey! -Hi, Mom.
-宝贝儿 生日快乐 -谢谢 -Hey, baby. Happy birthday. -Thank you.
不客气 You're welcome.
Calvin 你好 Hi, Calvin. How you doin'?
-嗨 BJ -你好 -Hi, BJ. -What's up?
-生日快乐 -好吧 -Hey, happy birthday. -Okay.
谢谢 Hi, thank you.
你们怎么来了 What are you guys doing here?
我就知道你爸爸会戴着那顶傻帽子在这儿 I knew your dad would be here with that old hat.
我就知道你一定会觉得丢脸 And I knew you'd be humiliated.
所以我们来进行损害管制 So we came to do some damage control.
生日快乐 Happy birthday!
-妈妈 什么 -是的 -Mom, what? -Yes!
天哪 太谢谢你了 Oh, my God! Thank you so much!
不客气 You're so welcome.
这是我和你继父送你的 This is from me and your stepdad.
谢谢 谢谢 谢谢 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
去吧 去兜风吧 Yeah, go, go. Go for a ride.
等等 等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
别毁了她的生日惊喜 Hey, hey. Don't ruin this for her.
Tiffany 跟我回家 你可以以后在开车 Tiffany, I need you to come home. You can drive later.
-你来真的吗 -是的 -Are you serious? -Yes!
就为了那个老掉牙的生日派对 For that tired-ass birthday party?
那是惊喜 别这么说 It's a surprise. Do you mind?
你连着18年都那样搞 You've been doing it for 18 years.
根本不是惊喜 It's not a surprise.
-走吧 宝贝儿 好好玩 -谢谢 谢谢 Calvin -Go on, baby. Have fun. -Thank you. Thank you, Calvin.
-拜 -不客气 -Bye! -You're welcome.
Tiffany 直接回家 Tiffany, I need you to come straight home.
拜 Simmons先生 Bye, Mr. Simmons.
好好玩 Have fun!
好吧 你有必要这样吗 Okay. Did you have to do that?
她也是我女儿啊 Well, she's my daughter.
首先 你抛弃了我们 Okay, first of all, you walk out on us.
然后又来破坏我对孩子的教育 Then you undermine everything I do.
你从不管她 现在又这样跑来当好人 Then you won't discipline her, and you walk in here like the hero.
我不跟你吵 I'm not doing this with you.
有问题的是你 You're the one with the problem.
我怎么有问题了 How am I the one with the problem?
她已经18了 你却还一直把她当五岁的孩子 She's 18, and you keep treating her like she's still five.
别告诉我怎么养孩子 好吗 Look, do not tell me how to raise this child, okay?
她现在的责任感还不够格拥有车 She is not responsible enough to have a car yet.
你得试着给她犯错的空间 You need to learn to give her some room to make a mistake.
能别吵了吗 Can we not do this, please?
别吵了 BJ看着呢 Can we not? BJ's watchin'.
那家里见 I'll see you at the house.
等等 你要去我家 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you comin' to my house?
你去我家干啥 What are you comin' to my house for?
她也是我女儿啊 It's my daughter.
上车 BJ Get in the car, BJ.
给Madea阿姨问好 Say hi to your Aunt Madea.
惊喜啊 Surprise!
只是Brian Oh, it's just Brian.
我们还得说几次"惊喜"啊 How many times am I supposed to say "surprise" for this little girl?
赶紧让那小妞回来吧 Y'all better get her ass up in here.
我可没有那么多气儿可浪费的 I don't have breath to be wasting like that.
我还得留着气儿吸东西呢 Hell, I need my breath for when I inhale.
那就别抽那些大麻了 Then you need to stop smoking all that weed.
魔鬼是个骗子 The devil is a liar.
我会抽到死 I'm gonna be smokin' till I die.
把我用大麻裹起来火葬吧 Wrap me up in weed paper and cremate me.
让参加葬礼的人都嗨一把 I'mma get the whole damn funeral jacked up.
看看我的宝贝儿 Oh, look at my baby.
宝贝儿 你看着不太好啊 Baby, you don't... You don't look good at all.
是啊 怎么了 孩子 No, he don't. What is it, boy?
-Hattie -嗯 -Hattie. -Hmm?
是你 他是因为你才不开心的 It's you. You the reason why he's not happy.
少胡说 少胡说 Bam, slow your roll. Slow your roll.
Brian超喜欢我的 Brian is into me.
懂吗 Brian爱我 Got me? Brian loves me.
不是吗 亲爱的 Don't you, boo?
过来 我让你好受点 Come on over here, and let me make you feel good.
都闭嘴 Hush all that.
Brian 怎么了 Brian, what is wrong with you?
没什么 我没事 Nothing, nothing. I'm fine.
看起来并不是啊 You don't look fine.
快说 不然我就像你小时候那样打你 Speak up before I hit you in the nut like I did when you was a little boy.
你怎么了 What is wrong with you?
我没事 大家都好吧 我没事 Yeah. I'm fine. Is everybody here? I'm fine.
过来 让我抱抱你 Brian Well, just come on over here and let me give you a hug, Brian.
不了 I'll pass.
好啊 你就这副德行吧 Brian Okay, go ahead. Act like that, Brian.
你会后悔错过了我的治愈性拥抱 You gonna wish you had let me make you feel good.
-嗯 -天哪 -Mmm. -Damn.
你这口气简直就是臭屁啊 Your breath came out your mouth ass-backwards.
臭死了 It was breech.
什么玩意儿 What the hell is that?
Joe 你也闻到了吗 Joe, you smell it too?
我就坐她旁边啊 I'm sitting right here by her.
那该死的玩意儿飘过 Hell, that damn thing came over here,
就像是在对我说 "我是恶臭的" walked past me like, "I'm funky."
都闭嘴 Oh, y'all shut the hell up.
姐妹儿 你这口气杀伤力太强了 Girl, that breath smell like it's been in the Civil War.
你可以批量生产 然后售卖 Girl, you need to just bottle that up and sell it.
反正这次是战胜了我的鼻窦炎 That cleared up all my sinuses.
任何口气这么糟糕的人 Anytime somebody got breath like that, honey, that bad,
肯定是身体内部出了问题 不仅仅是牙齿 something is going on inside. That ain't just your teeth.
是她的食道 That's her esophagus.
是下面的问题 肚脐下面 It's down, way down there, below her belly button.
不 不仅仅是食道 No, Bam, it's comin' lower than her esophagus.
还得再往下 That's comin' from down low.
都闭嘴 闭嘴 Joe Y'all shut the hell up. You shut up, Joe.
你不要再跟我说话了 I know damn well you ain't talkin' to me.
我很了解自己的口气 I know when my breath smell.
如果我的口气很臭 那是因为我吃的东西 好吗 If my breath smell bad, it's 'cause of what I've been eating. Hello?
Joe 别说了 Joe, cut it out.
Tiffany呢 你不是去接她了吗 Where's Tiffany, boy? I thought you went to get her.
我去了 我去接她了 Well, I did. I went to get her.
她妈妈和她妈妈的丈夫也去了 他们给她买了一辆车 And her mother and her husband were there, and they bought her a car.
他们给她买了一辆车 They bought a car?
真车 A real one?
等等 他们免费给了她一辆车 Wait, hold on. They gave her a car for free?
她根本不用工作就得到一辆车 She didn't have to work for it?
我就是这么说的 That's... You see, that's exactly what I'm saying.
我就是这么说的 Exactly what I'm saying.
不行 不行 Oh, hell no, honey. No.
知道我当初为了买第一辆车付出多少努力吗 Do you know how much work I had to do to get my first car?
我得在街上来来回回地跑 Oh, I had to walk up and down them streets.
我的鞋跟都是这么高的 My heels was run over just like this
我那么辛苦地在街上招揽生意 'cause I was walkin' and workin' them streets so hard.
我不是这个意思 Oh, that's not what I'm saying.
我不是这个意思 That is not what I'm saying.
不不 他们说 No, no. They say...
宠物会长得跟主人越来越像 They say like people's pets start to look like them...
如果你不好好管你闺女 I'mma tell you right now, if you give up too much ass,
那谁知道她会成为什么样儿 your ass start to look like whatever you gave it up for.
所以他才长成了这样 That's why this ass look like a Buick Electra 225.
你看到那玩意儿了 You see that shit, right there?
我都要吐了 That's gonna make me throw up.
我不是那个意思 谢谢关心 Madea, I'm not talking about that. Okay? Thanks.
亲爱的 你是说他们"免呸"给她买了一辆车 So, baby, so, you said that they bought her a car for "pree"?
-什么 -"免呸"给她买了一辆车 -For what? -A car for "pree."
不是"免呸" 是"免费" "免费" Ain't no P-R in "free," honey. "Free. Free."
她根本不用花一分钱 是的 Not one dime did she have to pay for it. Yeah.
我为了买第一辆卡迪拉克拼命拉皮条 I was pimpin' hard to get my first Cadillac.
当时街上有很多妓女都是我的 I had so many hoes out on the street,
我都数不过来了 I couldn't even keep count.
各个国家的妓女都有 I had every ho from every nation.
他们那时候叫我"NATO" Yeah, they used to call me NATO.
什么意思 What do you mean, "NATO"?
你不知道吗 天哪 You don't know what the hell NATO is? Damn, Bam.
就是国家皮条客联盟 NATO. I'm the National Pimp Association
老妓女也要的 that tolerates all the old hoes.
-哦 没错 -Oh! -Yeah, NATO.
瞎掰 What the hell?
别笑 Hush all of that.
虽然她是免费得到的 但是车毕竟是好东西 Well, baby, a car is a nice thing even though she got it for free.
不是的 不是 No, it's not. It's not a nice thing.
为什么 Why not?
她责任感不强 Tiffany不会开车 She's not responsible. Tiffany can't drive.
Brian Duh, Brian.
你应该教她啊 You supposed to teach her how to drive, honey.
我教过 我真的教过 I tried to teach her. I tried to teach her.
她表现如何 What did she do?
我教她平行停车 I was teaching her how to parallel park.
我告诉吧 反过来 倒回去 结果她撞树上了 I said, "Put it in reverse and back up," she hit a tree.
她撞树上了 为什么 She hit a tree? Why?
我也这么问她 她说"我没听到哔哔声" I said, "Why'd you do that?" She said, "I didn't hear the beeps."
哦 这样啊 Oh, yeah.
你什么意思 What you talkin' about, "Oh, yeah"?
你懂吗 What do you know about a damn beep?
现在的新车...她不懂 Mabel, the new cars nowadays... She don't know.
现在的新车 New cars nowadays, honey,
在倒车时都有哔哔声 they beep when you start going backwards, baby.
就是这样 That's all, honey.
但是你不知道 因为你的是破车 But you wouldn't know nothin' about that 'cause you ain't got no nice car.
她不喜欢你那辆破车 She done went off on you about your raggedy-ass car.
不许说我的卡迪拉克的坏话 You ain't talkin' about my Cadillac.
我的卡迪拉克很特别的 My Cadillac is special.
我很努力才得到的 I worked hard for that Cadillac.
在我工作的时候 That pole was bent when I leapt up off of it,
车上的那根杆都被我弄弯了 懂吗 working for that Cadillac. Do you understand?
现在都找不到那配件了 I didn't have them kind of poles back in my day.
金色银色的那种 Them silver, gold ones.
现在有电话线杆 所以有一天晚上 They had telephone poles, and I snapped it one night
我就掰了一截回来 when I was doing my somersault.
它简直可以教"直升飞机" It's called a helicopter.
我跑上跑下 Where you run up to it, and you grab it by the bottom of your legs,
都要忙飞了 then you come on down.
我就是那样辛苦地工作才得到了我的卡迪拉克 That's what I did. That's what bought my Cadillac.
所以别说我的卡迪拉克的坏话 Don't talk about my Cadillac.
我的车也很好的 And listen to me, my car is nice too.
我倒车的时候 也会听到什么声音 If I'm backing up and I'm about to hit somethin', I hear noise too.
是我马上要撞到的那混蛋发出的声音 It's from the bastard I'm about to hit.
好吧 那你给她买了什么 Okay, and so now, what did you buy her?
问得好啊 你给她买了什么 Wait, that's a good question, Bam. What'd you give her?
你的礼物肯定让她妈妈显得很逊 I know you got somethin' that just wiped her out here.
你不会让她超过你的 You ain't gonna let her outdo you.
她买了车 你买了什么 If she got a car, what you got?
耳机 I bought her some headphones.
什么 I'm sorry.
耳朵上带的耳机 Headphones like you put on your ears?
还能是...* That's what I...
是的 Yes.
Brian Oh, Brian.
你不觉得你的礼物很... Now, don't you think that... that... that made your little gift look like...
烂透了 Shit.
我也想那样说 但是我要说"不咋地" I was going to say that, but I was gonna say, "bull squat."
你怎么搞的 Boy, what the hell wrong with you?
你真是个笨蛋 You're just... You're just a dork.
给你车 给你耳机 "Here's your car." "Here's your headphones."
对啊 That's the same thing I said!
他真是太扯了 He's full of it if he thinks...
你去哪 让我看看耳机啊 Where you goin'? Come on, we wanna see the headphones!
真是没脑子啊 Keep the phone, just give me the head.
Tiffany 小心 Tiffany, look out!
慢点 Can you slow down?
我好激动 你不激动吗 I'm so excited! Aren't you excited?
你闯红灯了 That was a red light.
我好爱这辆车 Oh, I love this car.
这车是不错 Yeah, it's a nice car.
但是你爸爸是对的 你不会开车 But your dad was right. You can't drive.
我会 Yes, I can.
事实是 你真的不会 Uh, yeah. See, the thing is you actually can't.
等等 我们来这儿干什么 Wait, what are we doing here?
再来一次 It's called a do-over.
什么意思 What's a "do-over"?
去年参加万圣节时我太小了 See, last year I was too young to come to the Halloween party.
但是今年 我一定会成为焦点 But this year, I'm gonna be the life of it.
-不不不 这不是个好主意 -是的 -No, no, no. This is not a good idea. -Yes!
-不行 -好了 你呢 -No. Nope. -Oh, okay, you...
总是担心这担心那 好好活一把吧 You think everything is a bad idea. You need to live a little.
不 我不会让你把我拽入麻烦中 No. Because I am not letting you get me into trouble
就像你去年对待aday那样 like you did with Aday last year!
行了 Come on!
不不不 你太疯狂了 No! No, no. Your dad got so mad,
aday的爸爸很生气的 Madea让所有人麻烦缠身 Aday's dad was furious, and Madea got everyone into trouble,
而且还惹来了警察 and the cops were called.
-走吧 会很好玩的 -不要 -Come on. It'll be fun. -No. Nope.
走啦 跟我一起 我们一起 No, yes, you're doing this with me. We're doing this together.
我们是好朋友啊 我们要一起做 走啦 We're best friends. We're gonna do it. Come on.
抱歉 Oops, sorry.
不能这样 Not gonna like this.
等等 你爸爸肯定会不喜欢的 Wait! Your dad is not gonna like this.
我才不管 我已经是成年人了 我18了 I don't care! I'm an adult. I'm 18.
他喜不喜欢无所谓 He doesn't have to like it.
-你激动吗 -不激动 -Aren't you excited? -No.
-激动点 会很好玩的 -不要 -Be excited. It'll be fun. -No...
-我不要去 -走啦 -I don't wanna go. -Come on!
是谁 Who is it?
惊喜哦 It's a surprise!
退后 Back up!
你怎么了 What is wrong with you?
干吗搞成这样 What's with all the cloak-and-dagger?
小心为上 我认识你吗 Just being careful, you know? Do I know you?
嗯 Well...
当我没问 我又不是你爸 No. Missed me with that. I ain't the father, all right?
Jonathan在这儿吗 Um, is Jonathan here?
他也不是你爸 Oh. He ain't the father either.
等等 我认识你 I do know you. Okay.
你就是那个17岁的骗子 Yeah, you're the 17-year-old charlatan.
赶紧走 小屁孩 Go ahead, take a hike, you rug rat.
我只是来找Jonathan Look, I just wanna talk to Jonathan.
Jonathan不在这儿住了 Jonathan don't live here no more.
他搬到上海去了 All right? He moved to Shanghai.
-Dino -这儿没有叫Dino的* -Dino. -No Dino here.
我负责这个兄弟会的安保 I am the security of this fraternity.
看 看到了吗 Right here, you see these toasters?
很大块儿吧 Make bread, heat it up.
dino 走啦 得去写宾客名单 Dino, come on. The guest list isn't gonna write itself.
可以把我写上去吗 你好 Oh, can I get on it? Hi. How are you?
嘿 我没跟你说话 Hey! Yeah, I'm not talking to you.
-为什么 -不知道 -Why not? -Oh, I don't know.
也许是因为我记得 你才17 'Cause last time I checked, you're 17.
我记得 我刚刚18了 Oh, well, last time I checked, I just turned 18.
真的吗 她18了 Really? She's 18?
别被骗了 她是个骗子 Don't fall for it, dude. She's a temptress.
-嗯 -我向你们道歉 -Yeah. -I just wanted to apologize
去年的事是我的错 for last year, all right?
我想问问今年能不能邀请我们参加万圣节派对 And I wanted to see if we could get invited to this Halloween party.
"我向你们道歉" "Oh, boo-hoo, I wanted to apologize."
就是因为你我们今年才不能办万圣节派对 Yeah, you're the reason we can't have a Halloween party this year.
-什么 -我们今年不能办万圣节派对 -What? -Yeah, we can't have a party this year.
可你刚刚说要列宾客名单啊 You just said you were working on the guest list.
是 但是今年不能在这个兄弟会大楼里办派对 Well, yeah, but we can't have a party here at the frat house anymore.
为什么 因为我吗 Why not? Because of me?
不 因为全球变暖 No, 'cause of global warming.
当然是因为你了 Yeah, 'cause of you.
因为你爸爸和他那帮土匪一样的朋友 It's because of your dad and his old gangster friends.
好吧 她很抱歉 Okay, look. She's sorry.
不办派对 没关系 我们走 No party. Okay, cool. Let's go, okay?
-再见 -但是 问题是... -Bye, guys, see you later. -But see, the thing is...
不送 Adiós.
今天是我生日 明天就是万圣节 ...my birthday's today, Halloween is tomorrow.
我去年搞砸了你们的派对 I'm just sad that I messed it up for you guys.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
兄弟 Bro.
把身份证拿来看一下 ID. Fork it over. Come here.
-让我看看 -给 -Put it right there. All right, let's see. -There you go.
-嗯 -是吗 -Wow. -Is she?
-我数学不好 -她很漂亮 -I'm not good at math. -She's definitely hot.
怎么样 现在18了吗 What do you say, 18 now?
-18 -假的 -Eighteen. -Fake.
可能吧 随便啦 我不管 Probably. It's all right. Whatever. I don't care.
开始吧 Here you go.
我希望我能弥补你 I just wish I could make it up to you.
她就这样对你投怀送抱吗 She just gonna throw it at you like that?
不 她不是那个意思 No, she's not talking about it like that.
我感觉是啊 Sounds like she was to me.
你真恶心 You're so gross.
我很抱歉你们今年不办派对了 I just hate that you guys aren't having a party this year.
我可以向你们证明 You know, I could show you guys that I...
我知道怎么好好玩 I actually know how to have fun.
嗯 Well...
别那样 我来 Don't do it, dude. I'll do it.
-别哪样 -就是他反对的 -Don't do what? -Whatever he's saying not to do.
-我不知道 -是什么 -I don't know. -What is that?
我们办派对 We are having a party!
我就知道你刚刚是开玩笑的 I know. I knew you were just kidding.
我什么时间到这儿 What time should I be here?
不在这 Oh, it's not here.
-不吗 -不 -No? -Nope.
在Derrick湖 It's at Lake Derrick.
什么 What?
-是的 -是的 -Yep. -Bingo.
就是那个有人在亲热时被杀的地方吗 Are... Where the people got killed making out?
是的 Yep.
你疯了吗 Are you crazy?
天哪 会很好玩的 Oh, my God. This is gonna be so much fun.
去跟死去的那些人说吧 他们不会觉得好玩 Tell that to the people who died there. It's not fun.
说不了啊 他们已经死了 Yeah, you can't. 'Cause they're dead.
肯定会超级诡异 超级吓人 Look, it's gonna be super creepy and scary.
-但是正因如此才好玩哪 -没错 -But that's why it's gonna be lit! -Yup.
你肯定会后悔的 兄弟 You're gonna regret this, bro.
所以 我加入 And for that reason, I'm in.
-所以才会是巅峰之作 -巅峰之作 -And that's why it's gonna be epic! -Epic!
巅峰之作 Epic!
老兄 你怎么回事 Dude, what are you doing here?
怎么跟个中年大叔似的 Seriously, dude, you're like 40.
刚刚毕业 Just graduate.
-我几点到 -你知道怎么去吗 -Um, what time should I be there? -Do you know how to get to Lake Derrick?
不知道 但是我有车 有导航 Gabriella... No, but I have a car that has a GPS and Gabriella...
-Gabriella不会... -也会去的 -Gabriella won't. -...will be there.
-我不去 -你去 -I'm not going. -Yes, you are.
-会很好玩的 -不 你疯了吗 -It'll be fun! -No, no. Are you crazy?
你还没吸取上次的教训吗 Have you not learned your lesson already?
我才不要去死过人的地方玩 I'm not hanging around dead people.
好了 我会给你们发信息 告诉你们怎么去那里 All right, look. I'll text the instructions on how to get there tonight.
附带我今早拍的半裸照 Alongside a shirtless selfie that I took this morning
我只给另外两个女孩发了 你们可以做手机壁纸 and only sent to two other girls that you can save as your wallpaper.
午夜见 We'll see you at midnight.
-午夜 -是的 -Midnight? -Yeah.
12点01分 派对开始 We start at 12:01 on Halloween.
我不去 I'm not about to go to this right now.
-好吗 走啦 -到时候见 -Okay? Come on. -See you there!
跟踪狂警报 跟踪狂警报 跟踪狂警报 大家快跑 Stalker alert! Stalker alert! Stalker alert! Everyone!
快跑快跑快跑 Go, go, go!
我才不要跑 我才不要跑 I will not bitch out. I will not bitch out.
Bae Bae!
-Bae -Anna -Bae! -Anna!
宝贝儿 Bae Baby! Bae!
-Anna 冷静 -Anna Anna -Anna, calm down. -Anna! Anna!
Anna Anna!
你怎么在这儿 Why are you here?
我们刚刚被邀请去... We were just getting invited to the...
图书馆 充满书籍和知识的图书馆 Library! To the library with books and knowledge.
你们在骗我吗 Are you guys lying to me, huh?
-没有 -你们在骗我 -No. -You guys are lying to me.
没有 图书馆里的确是充满书籍和知识啊 No, there's knowledge in books which are at the library.
你好啊 停车停得不错 酷毙了 How are you? Great parking job. You crushed that.
Horse在哪 Where's Horse?
可能半裸着 在浴室自拍 Uh, probably shirtless, taking a selfie in the bathroom
抚摸他的头发 and stroking his hair?
Jonathan在哪 Where's Jonathan?
在他旁边 跟他击掌 Right next to him, high-fiving?
Mikey在哪 Byron在哪 我男朋友在哪 大家都去哪了 Where's Mikey, where's Byron, where's my boyfriend? Where's everybody?
Anna 你干吗来这儿 Anna, why are you here?
我最近每天都给Horse打电话 I've been calling Horse every single day, day in and day out.
他不回我 我想知道为什么 He won't respond, and I wanna know why.
嗯... Well...
刚刚 我不到30分钟内给他发了25条信息 I texted him 25 times in the last 30 minutes.
他只回了我三个句号 Just three bubbles.
那是什么意思 谁来告诉我那是什么意思 What does that mean? Somebody tell me what that means.
你手指功能很强大 You have really strong thumbs?
他来了 宝贝儿 There he is. Baby!
-Anna -Anna 停下 -Anna! -Anna! Stop!
惊喜啊 Surprise!
只是我 大家冷静 冷静 It's just me. Everybody calm down. Calm down.
孩子们你们可以出去一下吗 让我们单独谈谈 Do you kids mind? Mind let us talk for a second?
看来你才是需要冷静 Looks like you need to calm down.
是 都是因为离婚的事 Yeah, it's this divorce.
这么糟糕吗 Is it that bad?
我跟你说了很多年了 I've been telling you about it for years, man.
很糟糕 她就是那么恶劣 Yeah, it's that bad. She is that bad.
庆幸吧 你女儿们很爱你 And be glad that your daughter loves you.
拜托 Tiffany也很爱你啊 Come on. Tiffany loves you too.
她只是忍我 那不一样的 忍我 She tolerates me, man. There's a difference. She tolerates me.
因为是青春期嘛 It's all teenagers.
青春期 好吧 Teenagers. Yeah. Okay.
但是你的孩子们为什么那么负责任 But how'd you get yours to be so responsible?
我和Liz会坐下来跟他们聊 给他们点空间 Well, me and Liz, we sit down, give her a little space.
有时候 给他们点空间真的管用 Sometimes, space works.
好吧 她现在有无限空间 知道为什么吗 Yeah, well, she's got all the space in the world now. You know why?
她妈妈给她买了辆车 Her mother bought her a car.
给她买了辆车 Just bought her a car.
她的责任感还不足以拥有车 这个女人... She's not responsible enough to have a car. This woman...
你只需要跟她坐下来聊聊 You just need to sit down and talk with her.
会解开误会的 It'll work out.
-嗯 -车啊 -Yeah, yeah. -It's a car!
嗯 谢谢 把那个酱吃完吧 Yeah. Thanks, Dr. Phil. Finish eating that dip.
天哪* Damn.
他们给她买的那小车真漂亮啊 是红色的 That's a nice little sports car they done bought her. It's red.
红色 意味着热情似火 Red, that means fire.
那车真漂亮 Bought her what looks like a nice little car out there.
是啊 Yeah, it is, isn't it?
Debrah给她买了辆车 Debrah bought her a nice car.
你给她买了副耳机 You bought her some headphones.
你为什么让那贱人那样对你 Why you let that ho do that to you?
别那样说我前妻 Do not say that about my ex-wife, okay?
我不想我儿子听到 她不是贱人 I don't want my son to hear that. She's not a ho.
前妻 贱人 一回事儿 Ex-wife, old ho. Same thing.
你个臭小子好好听我说 Hear me good when I say this to your ignorant ass, boy!
你不能任由你前妻让你在孩子面前出丑 You don't let no ex-ho show you up to your child.
赶紧处理了 懂吗 You handle that! Do you understand?
听好我说的话 给她打电话 Listen to what I'm saying. Call her up.
像我一样用皮条客的声音跟她说 Do your pimp voice like I used to do back in the day.
听着 贱人 "Look here, ho."
这就是我的皮条客嗓音 音调先升高 That was my pimp voice. It had to be higher
然后当你出其不意时 他们防不胜防 so when you hit 'em low, they didn't know what was comin'.
懂了吗 You understand?
她买了辆车 你只需要找到她告诉她 She bought a car, all you gotta do is walk up to her,
不经过我同意 不许给我女儿买车 "You don't buy my daughter no damn car unless I say it's okay.
你这车从哪来的回哪去 You better take this car back wherever the hell you got it from
否则我揍扁你 or I'mma kick your ass!
把车退回去 否则我揍你 You finna take this car back. Your raggedy ass...
我当初就不该跟你结婚 I shouldn't have married you in the first damn..."
你说什么 Excuse me?
天哪 她从天而降啊 Damn, she showed up like Candyman, didn't she?
我也这么觉得 Same thing I said.
你说什么 What did you say?
你好吗 美女 I said, "Hey, baby, how you doin'?"
我很好 I'm fine.
很高兴见到你啊 You know, it's always good to see you.
爸爸 Daddy?
你只有小马 没有种马** You had the pony. You didn't have the stallion.
是啊 走 Calvin Yeah, right. Come on, Calvin.
这位是谁啊 So, uh, who the hell is this?
Hattie 那是她的新丈夫 Hattie, that's her new husband.
现在都这样吗 Oh, that's how y'all rollin' now?
现在的人都这样吗 That's how y'all doin' things?
带着新欢直接来这儿晃荡 You just gonna bring your piece up and all through here?
你就这样搞吗 That's how you go?
现在的年轻人都这样 That's what the young folks do now.
他们都这样 That's how they all do.
放在一起 这样肯定会被揍 Well, back in the day, you would have got your ass whooped.
让我理理 Let me make sure I understand this.
儿子 Boy.
你就这样傻站着 You gonna stand there
任凭这娘们带个黑鬼来这里吗 and let this girl bring this nigga up in your house?
Joe 看好你的嘴 闭嘴 Joe, watch your darn mouth, hush!
你这辈子见过有谁能管好他的嘴吗 Have you ever in your life known anybody that was able to watch their own mouth?
如果我把你的眼珠子拽出来 I bet you if I pulled your darn eyes out,
放你嘴上面 你肯定看得到(管得住)你的嘴 and turn them around have them look at your darn lips, you'll see 'em.
我看不见 I can't watch my darn mouth.
我看不见 别说话了 闭嘴吧 I can't see it. That's ignorant. Just shut up, Mabel. Hell.
看到我的嘴了吗 反正我是看不到 Do you see my mouth? I can't see it.
Joe 闭嘴 闭嘴 Joe, shut the hell up. Just shut up.
合上你的腿 Close your legs.
她合不上 知道为什么吗 她不是女的 I know she can't close them legs. You know why? Nuts.
想看点有意思的吗 看好了 You wanna see something funny? Watch this.
嗨 Calvin Hi, Calvin.
他从不跟我说话 He never talks to me.
他不回你 He ain't gonna say nothin' back to you?
他在你家里 不跟你说话 He don't speak to you when you in your own house
你还不修理他 and you won't set it straight?
你就这样吗* That's all you got to say?
你不能让女人带别的男人来你家 You don't let no woman bring no man up in your house!
给我揍他 Beat his ass!
爸爸 我们不是那种人 我们是有风度的 Daddy, we are not those kind of people. We are people with class.
贱人 听到我说的了吗 Bitch, did you hear one word that I said?
风度 我们才没有风度 我们都不知道风度俩字儿咋写 Class? We ain't never have no damn class. We didn't even go to class.
Calvin 这是我父亲 Joe Calvin, this is my father, Joe.
你好 Joe先生 Hi, Mr. Joe.
死黑鬼 别跟我说话 我跟你很熟吗 混蛋 Nigga, don't freakin' talk to me! I don't know you like that, mothertrucker!
Joe 闭嘴吧 Joe, shut the hell up.
你毁了我儿子的人生 You are ruining my son's life.
你看 站那跟个... Look at him, standin' there lookin' like a...
爸 够了 Daddy, that's enough.
别叫我 Don't you damn say no damn "Daddy" to me here.
-这个女人... -Joe 闭嘴 -This woman... -Joe, hush up!
你最好看好你闺女 否则会跟她一个熊样儿 You better watch your daughter 'cause she gonna be just like her.
-贱人* -Joe -Ain't gonna be shit either. -Joe.
哈罗 Hello.
她回来了 Oh, there she is!
惊喜啊 Surprise!
她回来了 She's here!
该死的 惊喜啊 Oh, hell. Surprise, then!
-让开 -天哪 -Get on out my damn way. -Oh, my.
让开 Move!
我需要去抽根大麻 I need a joint.
惊喜 S-Surprise!
-惊喜 -谢谢 -Surprise! -Thanks.
宝贝儿 我本来想给你买礼物来着 Oh, babe, I was gonna get you somethin',
可是我的支票迟迟不到 我... but my check was late, and I, I...
但是我的心意是带来了 But my heart was in the right place.
谢谢 Thank you.
惊喜吗* You surprised?
宝贝儿 你看起来不是很惊喜啊 Baby, you don't look too surprised to see us sittin' here
毕竟你无证驾驶 after I done drove all the way over here
开了一大圈安全回家了* to this part of town with no driver's license.
你至少应该有过惊喜的样子 You need to at least look surprised.
我有预感你们会在这儿 Well, I had a feeling you'd be here
因为每年都是这样啊 'cause it's the same people every year.
太傻了 Well, I mean, that's stupid.
谁让你每年都过生日呢 You have a birthday every year, what you expect?
好了 谁赶紧管管她 赶紧管管她 Okay, somebody... somebody better get her. Y'all better get her.
Tiffany 过来 Hey, Tiffany, come here!
看谁来了 看谁来了 Look who's here! Look who's here!
是你的朋友们 Look, your friends.
小学同学 From elementary school.
我都不搭理他们 Even I don't deal with them.
我去放音乐 肯定会超棒的 I'm gonna put some music on. This is gonna be so great.
BJ 放音乐 BJ, put the music on.
-嗨 -嗨 你也在 -Hi! -Hi, you're here too?
-生日快乐 -谢谢 -Happy birthday. -Thank you.
你爸爸给我打了好多电话 所以我只能来咯 Your dad called me like ten times. So I had to come.
抱歉 他每年都这样 I'm sorry, he does this every year.
嗯 很可爱啊 Yeah, it's cute.
姑娘们 Hi, girls.
-嗨 -嗨 Victor先生 -Hi! -Hi, Mr. Victor!
你们长得太快了 You guys are growin' up so quickly.
爸 别这样 太丢脸了 Dad, would you stop? You're so embarrassing.
他好帅啊 He's so hot.
你恋父情结太重 You have a thing with dads,
-我为你担心啊 -那又怎样 一点点啦 -and I'm worried for you. -So what? It's just a little thing.
总之 很高兴你来了 我有事告诉你 Anyways, I'm so glad you're here, 'cause I was gonna call you.
-什么 -今晚有个派对 -Why, what's up? -There's a party tonight.
在哪 Where?
嗯 Um, well,
Derrick湖 it's at Lake Derrick.
兄弟会要办派对 The frat boys are having another party,
今年该我亮相了 but it's my year to turn up!
如果我告诉我父母 他们肯定会宰了我 My parents are gonna kill me if I tell them.
别担心 我有计划 Don't worry about it. I have a plan.
那我可得听听 Oh, I gotta hear this.
好了 好了 All right, all right.
父女跳舞时间到 Time for the father-daughter dance.
-嘿 -爸 别这样 -Hey, hey, hey! -Dad, no, no. Come on!
-消防栓 消防栓 -什么消防栓 -Do the Fire Hydrant, do the Fire Hydrant. -What is the Fire Hydrant?
学消防栓 It's the dog... Do the Fire Hydrant.
喷水器 Do the Sprinkler.
马桶座圈 马桶座圈 Do the Toilet Seat. Do the Toilet Seat.
宝贝儿 我们怎么从来没跳过那种舞呢 Oh, baby, how come we can't dance like that?
太丢人了 我才不要跳 Because that's embarrassing. I'm not doing that.
-就跳一次 -不不不 -Just one. -No. No, no.
-来跳舞 -不 我不要 -Come on, dance. -No, I don't wanna dance, Dad.
来来来 Get it, get it, get it. Get it, get it.
来来来 快跳啊 Oh, get it, get it. He done told you.
来来来 快跳啊 姑娘 Come on. Get it, get it, get it. Come on, girl!
来啊 撅起小屁股 What up, what up? Get your donk on.
等着挨抽吧* Get your donkey whipped.
酷啊 Look at that! Uh, uh, uh.
厉害 Yeah, girl. Go.
受不了了 我要去喝点水 I can't do this. I'm gonna go get some water.
你不喜欢这个派对啊 You're not enjoying your party, are you, baby?
不喜欢 No, I'm not.
-没事 -Brian 这小姑娘太没礼貌了* -It's okay. -Brian, that girl's so damn rude.
-看我不宰了她 -好了 冷静 -I could just kill her! -Okay, all right. Okay.
传过去 And pass it.
传过去 传过去 Pass it back, pass it.
-接招啊 -好了 -Take it, take it! -Okay. All right, sure.
这个派对太烂了 You know what? This party is bunk.
妈妈 拜托 Mom, please.
我知道你不高兴 I know you're not happy.
所以今晚 我和Calvin带你去吃晚餐 So tonight, I think you should let Calvin and I take you to dinner.
听起来很棒 但是我今晚要参加万圣节派对 That sounds great, but I got invited to a Halloween party.
万圣节是明天 Halloween is tomorrow.
派对今晚开始 But the party starts tonight.
什么 整晚吗 What? All night?
你爸爸肯定不会 Now you know your daddy will not...
我知道 但是也许 I know, but maybe...
我可以在你那里过夜 I was thinking, I could spend the night at your place
你可以放我去 and you could just let me go.
好主意 You know what? That's a good idea.
你已经18了嘛 I mean, you're 18!
-你成年了嘛 -对啊 -You're grown! Yes! -Yeah!
你去告诉他还是我去告诉他 So will you tell him or will I?
我去吧 Oh, no, no. Let me tell him.
我就喜欢折磨他 You know I love getting under his skin.
好的 Okay!
太阳马上就落山了 你知道那是什么意思 Almost sundown. You know what that means!
游戏时间到* Pin the tail on the donkey call!
知道我们还要做什么吗 And you know what else we gonna do?
我在外面搞了个儿童爱畜动物园 I got a petting zoo outside.
儿童爱畜动物园 A freakin' petting zoo outside.
你肯定不敢相信 You are not going to believe this.
难以置信啊 I don't believe it.
-快来 -儿童爱畜动物园 -Come on, come see! -It's a petting zoo.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
这可是给18岁的孩子办的派对 This is a birthday party for an 18-year-old.
Brian应该为自己感到羞愧 Shit, Brian ought to be ashamed of himself.
太逊了 他应该羞愧 It's so lame. He ought to feel bad.
是啊 太逊了 Yeah, hell yeah, it's lame.
那姑娘根本不想在这里待着 就像月亮里的人(虚构的人物) This girl don't bit mo' wanna be here than the man in the moon.
说到月亮里的人 Hey. When I think about a man in the moon...
你身上可是有一轮明月啊 你见过吗 圆圆的明月 You got one hell of a moon on you. Have you ever seen it? It's full.
来咯 来咯 And here we go! Here we go!
看我给你准备了什么 Look what I have for you!
看哪 儿童爱畜动物园 Look, a petting zoo!
儿童爱畜动物园 A petting zoo?
这两位是Rose和Renee 他们是马戏团的 Hi. This is Rose and Renee. They were in the circus
他们也是儿童爱畜动物园惊喜的一部分 and they are a part of the petting zoo.
他们给你准备了这些马* They have these horses for you!
-嗨 -嗨 -Hi. -Hi.
我们去外面等着 等你准备好 We'll be out here when you're ready.
-好的 谢谢 -谢谢 -Okay, thanks. -Thank you.
你小的时候可喜欢这个了 You used to love this when you were little.
是啊 我四岁的时候 Yeah, when I was four.
Hattie在干吗 Lord, what the hell Hattie doing?
你看她* Look at her.
-Joe -看哪 -Joe! -Look at that!
看着 她的膝盖快不行了 Watch it. Her knee's gonna go out in a minute.
你怎么知道她的膝盖会顶不住 How you know her knee was gonna lock up, Joe?
-你真下流 Joe -我就是知道啊 -That's nasty, Joe. -That's how I know.
还是坐坐吧 我年龄大了 Time for this, here. I'm too old for this.
疼死了 That hurt like a son of a...
他肯定很难过 He ought to feel bad.
他给那孩子买了副耳机 Bought that child some headphones.
Brian 你做得很好 派对办得很好 Brian, you did a good job, baby. You did a good job with this party.
你做得很好 You did a good job.
我并不觉得 I don't feel like I did a good job.
她可喜欢这派对了 她超喜欢的 Baby, she loved this party. She loved it.
别骗他了 一点也不好 Don't be lyin' to this boy. He ain't do no damn good job.
那姑娘痛苦死了 That girl out there miserable.
Joe 闭嘴 Joe, shut the hell up.
儿子 如果你要为18岁的孩子办派对 Son, if you gonna throw a party for an 18-year-old,
是需要一些东西的 there's some things you need.
气球 五彩纸屑 小喇叭 搞什么 You got balloons and confetti and blow...
18岁的孩子想要毒品 Eighteen-year-olds want drugs.
18岁的孩子不该吸毒 Ain't no 18-year-olds supposed to be doin' no drugs.
你说什么呢 What the hell you talking about?
我从八岁起就吸毒 I, I was doing drugs since I was eight years old.
所以你才蠢得要死 And that's how you turned out as stupid as hell.
我可能什么都不记得 I may not be able to remember nothin'...
我的脑子可能不管用 但是我知道... My brain might be fried, all I know is...
我不知道 I don't know.
派对很好 Brian It was nice, Brian.
别撒谎了 这派对烂透了 You know you lyin'. This party was suckin'.
我帮你收拾 Come on, I'll help you clean up.
我该走了 Well, that's my cue to go.
你是跟我一起来的 Bam, you rode here with me.
你要怎么回去 我们一起收拾 How the hell you gonna go anywhere? Come on, let's go clean up.
-Mabel... -别这么懒 -Mabel... -Stop being so darn lazy.
懒 Lazy?
等等 我可能有很多毛病 Now wait a minute, Mabel. I may be a lot of things,
但懒绝不是其中之一 but lazy ain't one of 'em.
我做过了髋关节手术 And you know I had hip surgery.
有什么关系呢 What that got to do with anything?
医生说我不能再做爱了 Mabel, the doctor said I can't have no sex
我不能站太长时间 and I cannot stand up for long periods of time, honey.
我喜欢站着的 I actually like it standing up.
就像马 Like horses.
闭嘴 Shut the hell up, all this.
都给我来厨房 Come on, y'all, come on, let's go on in the kitchen.
Mabel... Mabel...
谢谢 Thank you, Madea.
Mabel... Mabel...
你想收费 对吗 You wanna get paid, don't you?
没错 我想要钱 我才不免费干活儿 You're right I want some money. Hell, I don't do no services for free.
-我觉得一点都不酷 -额 -I don't think this is cool at all. -Ugh.
行了 一起去 会很好玩的 Stop, all right? You're coming and it's gonna be fun.
告诉你爸爸 你在我妈妈那儿 Tell your dad you're staying at my mom's place.
-好的 -我们要狂欢 -Okay. -We're gonna have a blast!
-嗯 -我好激动 你不激动吗 -Yeah. -I'm so excited! Aren't you excited?
天哪 真不知道该怎么让Tiffany开心 完全没头绪 Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do to make Tiffany happy. I have no idea.
青少年嘛 我也经历过 Teenagers. I've been through it, man.
Gabriella 不* With Gabriella? No.
-是 我的其他孩子 -哦 -No, with my other kids. -Oh.
Gabriella 她很乖 Gabriella? She's been nothing but a delight.
那太好了 Hmm. That's good, man.
Tiffany以前也很乖 一岁的时候 Tiffany was a delight too, when she was one.
会好的 会好的 慢慢来 It gets better. It gets better. It takes time.
好吧 听你的 Yeah, okay. If you say so.
但是她都18了 我还有多少时间 我一直... She's 18. How much more time? I've been...
感觉像是住监 不知道还有多少年 Feels like I'm in prison. I don't know how many years I gotta do this.
好了 扔掉一两样东西就行 That's all right. I'm throwing away one or two things.
就这样就行 来吧 That's all I'm gonna do. Come on.
你妈妈真是太酷了 Your mom is seriously the coolest.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
还有 And get this,
她会放我们去派对 she's letting us go to the party.
-嗯 -是吗 -Mmm-hmm. -Yeah?
等等 你父母知道吗 Wait, will your parents know?
他们知道我们在你那里 Well, they'll know that we'll be at your place.
-Tiffany -拜托 妈妈 -Tiffany. -Come on, Mom!
你很酷的 拜托 You're so cool! Please.
好吧 好吧 Okay. All right.
但是你得保证 要负起责任 But you have to promise to be responsible.
-我们会的 -嗯 -We will. -Yeah.
-我们会的 -嗯 -We will, right? -Yeah, yeah.
等等 派对在哪 Wait, hold on. Where's this party?
你不会生气的 对吧 You won't get mad, right?
你18了嘛 不会 You're 18. No.
在Derrick湖 It's at Lake Derrick.
Derrick湖 Lake Derrick?
是万圣节派对嘛 It's a haunted Halloween party.
听起来不错 Oh. Well, this sounds fun.
嗯 Yeah.
你会让我们去吗 So you're gonna let us go?
嗯... Hmm.
可以 去吧 Yeah, you can go.
人只年轻一次嘛 You're only young once, honey.
不该玩什么儿童爱畜动物园 You shouldn't be sittin' here with a petting zoo.
-嗯 -说得对 -You know? -Yeah, you're right.
好好玩去吧 So go, have fun.
-但是要小心 -我们会的 -But be careful. -We will.
我们会的 Yeah, we will.
-好的 -你最棒了 -All right. -You're the best.
-我爱你 -我爱你 -I love you. -I love you.
我就知道她没安好心 I know this girl ain't not have said...
我就知道她没安好心 I know this girl did not just come out here
我就知道她没安好心 and say what I thought she just said.
你们听到了吗 Now, I know y'all didn't just hear that. You ain't hear?
-什么 -什么 -What? -Hear what?
听到什么 他们说什么了 Who said this? What'd they say?
那姑娘 她妈妈... That girl back there, her mama...
Debrah允许她去Derrick湖参加派对 Debrah's gonna let her go down to Lake Derrick for a party.
-什么 -没错 -Mabel! -Yes!
就是死过孩子的那地方 Down there where them children died?
死了那么多人 All of them people got killed.
她居然允许她去那里参加派对 She's gonna let her go down there for some party.
他们去那里干吗 What the hell they going down there for?
派对 万圣节派对 I just said, a party. A Halloween party, Hattie.
现在的孩子怎么回事 Why do these children insist
为什么非要跟鬼玩 on playing around with the devil these days?
你说呢 谁知道 You tell me, honey. You tell me.
-Brian知道吗 -他不知道 -Does Brian know? -No, he does not know.
我们一清理完这里我就去告诉他 I'm sure gonna tell him, soon as we finish cleaning up in here.
我正要说... I was about to say...
我们一清理完这里我就去告诉他 Soon as we finish cleaning up in here.
-我正要说... -我们一清... -I was about to say... -Soon as we...
算了 我自己来 You know what? I'll do it my damn self.
-我帮不上忙 -我自己来 -I ain't gonna be able to help. -I'll do it my damn self...
-那... -我走了 爸爸 -So... -Okay, Dad, I'm off.
-走 -嗯 -You're off? -Yeah.
去哪 Where you going?
她跟我去我那儿 She's coming with me to my house.
为什么 Why?
因为我们要请她好好吃顿晚餐 Because we wanna have a nice dinner with her for her birthday.
太好了 我去拿钥匙 Okay, great. I'll get my keys.
不不不 没有邀请你 Well, no, no. You're not invited.
她想和我们一起过周末 She wants to spend the weekend with us.
-真的吗 -嗯 -Really? -Mmm-hmm.
好的 那... All right, fine. Um...
小心点 Well, be careful.
我会的 Okay, I will.
-我爱你 -我也爱你 -And I love you. -I love you too.
好的 天黑以后不许开车 All right. No driving after dark.
好的 不开 No, I won't.
马上就是万圣节了 所以小心点 And it's Halloween, so be careful.
我会的 拜 I will. Bye.
爸爸 Hey, Dad.
Tiffany要在她妈妈那办过夜派对 Um, Tiffany's having a sleepover at her mom's.
我可以去吗 Can I go?
嗯 Well...
你知道我会很乖的 Come on, you know you can trust me.
好了好了 Okay. Okay.
-谢谢 爸爸 -记得给我打电话 -Thanks, Dad. -You better make sure you call me though,
-一到那儿就给我打电话 -我会的 -as soon as you get there. -I will.
好的 Okay.
拜 Simmons先生 派对很酷哦 Bye, Mr. Simmons. Rad party.
真的吗 Really?
-等等 等等 -怎么了* -Ah, hold on, hold on. -Yes?
你没有什么要告诉Brian的吗 Ain't there somethin' that you wanna tell Brian?
没有 No.
-Debrah -干吗 -Debrah... -What?
-有的 -什么 -Yes, there is. -What?
Debrah 别撒谎 有的 Debrah, don't be sittin' there lyin'. Yes, there is.
-什么 -Brian -What? -Brian,
Debrah要让Tiffany去Derrick湖 Debrah gonna let Tiffany go up to Lake Derrick or somethin'
参加万圣节派对 for a Halloween party, and you need to know that.
什么 What?
她是那么说的 我听到了 That's what she said. That's what I heard.
-你开玩笑吗 -她已经18了 -Are you kidding me? -Look, she's 18.
18也不是大人 Eighteen is not grown.
我说了她可以去 Well, I said she can go.
你总得让她长大 You have to let her grow up at some point.
你疯了吗 那里死过人 Are you crazy? People died up there!
该死的 她走了 Damn it, she's gone.
没事的 她是成年人了 你不能再这样了 She's fine. She's an adult. You have to stop doing this!
-她怎么会没事 -我告诉你... -She is not fine. -I'm telling you...
你们自己处理吧 You know what? I'mma let y'all handle this. I'mma let you...
Brian 你来处理吧 我去坐着了 你来处理吧 Brian, y'all handle that. I'm gonna sit down. I'mma let y'all handle that.
如果你总把她当小孩 她会离你越来越远的 You're gonna push her away if you keep treating her like a toddler.
姑娘们要去玩 他们会很开心 Now the girls are gonna go, they're gonna have a great time.
他们是一起的 没事的 And they'll all be together. It's okay.
等等 我女儿也要去吗 Wait, my daughter's going too?
是的 但是没关系 Oh. Yes, but it's okay.
她骗我 She lied to me.
你女儿不会去 我女儿也不会去 Your daughter's not going, and neither is mine.
她会的 拜拜 Yes, she is. Goodbye.
Debrah Debrah...
Debrah 等等 听我说 Debrah, wait a minute. What... Listen to what I'm saying to you.
Debrah Debrah. Hey.
别告诉我 I know you aren't trying to tell me how to
-怎么养女儿 -她也是我女儿* -bring up my daughter! -She is my daughter, too.
我们得说清楚* We have got to figure this out.
我说她能去 她就能去 Well, I said she can go, so she's going.
你去哪... Where are you going...
我听到他们吵架了 I heard them arguing when I was sittin' here.
他在跟她吵 I know he's sayin' somethin' to her.
她已经是大人了 她18了 She is grown. She is 18.
-你说什么 -她没事的 -What are you saying? -I am telling you, she's fine.
结局肯定很难看 Oh, yeah. It's gonna end up on Nancy Grace.
我不管 你好好听我说 I don't care. You need to listen to what I'm saying!
知道我们为什么会分开吗 Wonder why we split up?
我不知道他会这样 I don't know he gonna... Go see out there, girl.
...你疯了 ...you and all your craziness.
让开 Move!
我听到你们吵了 Brian I heard y'all out there fussing, Brian.
怎么样 你去接她吗 What happened? Did you go get her?
-你阻止了吗 -不 他处理好了 -You put your foot down? -No, he handled it.
他可是我的种 That's my seed right there.
他当然会处理好 He went out there and handled it like a pimp
就像皮条客处理妓女 supposed to handle a ho.
你处理好了吗 Did you handle it, pimp?
爸 Daddy...
等等 你杀了她吗 Wait a minute, did you kill her?
你没杀她吧 You ain't kill her, did you?
你肯定立场坚定地阻止了 对吗 I know you put them big-ass foots down when you went out there, didn't you?
肯定的 你阻止了吗 Or somethin' else down. Did you put it down, player?
没有 No.
-为什么 -听我说 Brian -Why not? -Listen to me, Brian.
她不能去那里 That girl cannot go up there.
那里死过人的 You know all them folks that died up there?
那些孩子太疯狂了 These kids is crazy.
Debrah是疯了 Debrah lost her damn mind.
不不不 No, no, no.
他出去了 但什么也没说 He went out there, but he didn't say nothin'.
-就让她去吧 -什么 -I'm gonna let her go. -What?
Brian 千万不能让她去啊 Brian, I'm telling you right now, do not let that child go up there.
你就什么都不做吗 You ain't gonna do nothin'?
她觉得自己长大了 那就让她去吧 看看她到底长大没 Well, she thinks she's grown. I'mma let her go and see if she's grown.
真是疯话 That's crazy as hell.
万一出了什么事呢 But what if something happens to her up there in them woods?
我只好祷告不出什么事咯 I'll just pray that nothing happens, okay?
我只能这样了 That's what I'm gonna do, so...
皮条客才不祷告呢 妓女就是猎物 No, pimps don't pray. The hoes is the prey.
爸 Daddy...
你妈妈 Your mama...
你妈妈...我... Your mama was... I guess...
我一想到她就有点动情 I get sentimental when I think about her.
你妈妈是个很努力的妓女 'Cause your mama was a hard-working ho.
她立志要做最顶级的妓女 She was committed to being on top of the game.
把牙全拔了 All her teeth out her mouth,
扁桃体也割了 she had her tonsils out and everything.
她只希望自己专业 She wanted to be a professional.
够了 爸 You know what, Daddy? Okay.
你妈妈是我的第一个 也是最后一个 You know, your mama was my first, so she's my bottom.
爸 够了 Daddy, you know what? Okay, listen.
我要上楼了 各位晚安了 I'm going upstairs. I'm gonna say good night to all of you.
请自己出去吧 See your way out, please.
没人动哦 Nobody's moving.
他想让我们走 I think he wants us to leave.
有谁要走吗 Is anybody moving?
没有啊 I don't damn think so!
等等 你不是想 Wait a minute. I know damn well you ain't trying
把我撵走吧 to put me up out of this house.
我们想走才走 We ain't leaving till we good and ready to go.
你不能这样对我 You ain't gonna treat me like this, you hear?
听到了吗* You got me?
我们帮你清理了这里 We done cleaned up this place for you
你就这样谢我们吗 and this the thanks we get?
你太粗鲁了 You're so darn rude!
等我想走了才走 I will leave when I get good and ready to leave.
我的车启动也是需要时间的 It takes my car a little while to warm up anyway.
-你妈妈... -请自行离开 谢谢 -You know, your mama was my... -See your way out, please. Thank you.
你真的不管她了吗 You just gonna let her walk all over you?
他肯定是喝了"娘汁儿" He been drinking that "buice."
-Joe -什么 -Joe? -Yeah.
什么是"娘汁儿" What is "buice"?
"娘炮汁儿" Bitch juice.
你干相信吗 你看看 Do you believe this? Look. Look.
-等等 14起谋杀 -14起谋杀 -Wait, 14 murders? -Fourteen murders.
所以我才生气啊 This makes me so angry!
我可不喜欢别人骗我 I don't like being lied to.
这完全不是Gabriella的作风 This is not like Gabriella.
绝对是Tiffany的作风 她一直撒谎 Well, it's definitely like Tiffany. She lies all the time.
他们为什么非要去死过人的地方开派对 Why would they wanna go to a party where people have been murdered?
就算凶手被抓到了 Even though the killer's been caught,
也还是很吓人啊 this still is unsettling.
对 看第二段 兄弟俩 Yeah, paragraph two. Two brothers.
兄弟俩一直没被抓到 The brothers were never caught.
他们根本不知道那里发生了什么 So they don't know what's goin' on up there.
你看这里 我读给你听 Look, look, let me read it. Here.
1976年 犯罪现场调查员 It says, "In 1976, crime scene investigators
因Derrick湖的谋杀案困惑不已 were baffled by the murders at Lake Derrick.
官方认为那两人死于 Authorities believe that the two men died
湖边广袤的森林里 in the vast wilderness surrounding the lake,
但是小镇的当地人却有截然不同的观点 but locals in the small town, they take another view.
一位当地人说 我相信他们还在那里 'I believe they're still up there, ' says Ray Jones.
Connor兄弟 Jimmy Wayne Connor The Connor brothers, Jimmy Wayne Connor
和Bobby Joe Connor 一直未被抓到 and Bobby Joe Connor, were never apprehended."
我再也不坐你的车了 Honestly, I am never riding with you again.
我们到了啊 We're here, aren't we?
是啊 路上差点没命 Yeah, barely. We almost died along the way.
可你死了吗 But did you die?
没有 但是有只猫咪死了 No, but a kitten died.
只是只猫啊* It was a kitten.
我听到了音乐 I hear music!
我们跳舞吧 Yeah, let's dance!
我们都知道她听到音乐会怎样 We all know how she gets when she hears music.
是啊 走吧 Yes, come on!
不 拜托 听着 No, come on. No, listen.
我不喜欢我们这样撒谎 You know how much I hate all this lying.
我们对谁撒谎了 Okay, who are we lying to though?
你爸爸 还是我爸爸* Your dad, my crazy dad?
不不不 我们没撒谎 No, no, no. We did not lie.
-我们只是没跟他们说实话 -哦 -We just didn't tell them the whole story. -Oh...
有什么差别吗 Please tell me what the difference is.
差别就是 我只是没跟他们说实话 The difference is, I just didn't tell them the whole story.
简直疯了* That makes zero sense.
她怎么来了 What is she doing here?
抱歉 她跟踪我们的 我们没办法 I'm sorry. She followed us. We couldn't just leave her at home.
Tiffany 你又要毁了我的派对吗 Tiffany, are you really gonna ruin my party again?
不是的 她没事的 大家都会没事的* No, I'm not. She'll be fine. You'll be fine...
她怎么会没事 他怎么活 No, she's not fine! Not for him.
Horse Horse!
那姑娘是谁 Who is that girl?
我们并没有在一起 We are not together.
我们有 Yes, we are!
没有的 你只是 No, we're not. You got my number
从酒吧一个男生那里得到了我的号码 你干什么啊* from some random guy at a bar. What are you doing?
我说我们结束了我们才是结束了 We're over when I say it's over.
-我们根本没有约会过 -我们有 -We never even went on a date! -Yes, we did.
我根本没有跟你通过电话 I've never even talked to you on the phone.
你是我的人 永远都是 You're my man, and you'll always be my man!
我们什么都没有 你瞎说什么啊 We were never anything. What are you talking about?
Bae* Bae!
这姑娘疯了吧 That girl is mental.
-她正常吗 怎么回事 -她有病 -Is she stable? What was that? -She has issues.
-她需要帮助 -救命啊* -That girl needs help! -Help!
-你还好吗 -不好 -Are you okay? -No.
他不要我了 He doesn't want me anymore.
我... Well, I'm...
别说你很遗憾 Don't say you're sorry!
别说 Don't say you're sorry!
我没想那么说 I wasn't gonna say that.
我应该...* I think I should just...
你身后那是什么 What is that behind you?
什么 What?
嘿 这服装酷啊 Hey, man, sick costume.
-你好啊 -嘿 -Oh, hi. How are you? -Hey.
看起来不错啊 这服装... Looking good. Costume's looking...
-绝了 -谢谢 -Damn. -Thank you.
当然 Yeah, no doubt.
-你看起来也很好啊 -我知道 还行啦 -You look good too. -Yeah, I know. It's all right.
一点小东西啦 怎么样 This little thing right here. How about that?
-这个派对 酷毙了 -嗯 -This party: Rockin'. -Yeah.
胆小的可不敢来 But the weak ones are about to leave because they're scared of
他们怕警察 the sheriff comin' out here.
等等 警察不让我们来这里吗 Wait, we're not even supposed to be here?
拜托 这可是地下派对 Oh, come on! This is an underground party, baby.
可是音乐很大声 Well, the music is pretty loud.
这里离市区很远嘛 Well, we're a long way from town.
天哪 你看起来真酷 Damn, habibi, you look good!
-谢谢 谢谢 -好了 好了 -Thank you, thank you. -All right, all right.
喝酒吧 谁一起来 Abe Lincoln, shots to the dome. Who's doin' 'em?
不不不 我不喝酒 我是基督徒 Uh, no, no, no. I don't do shots, okay? I'm a Christian.
耶稣把水变成过酒嘛 Well, you know, Jesus, he turned water into wine, right?
别亵渎耶稣 Don't you dare bring Jesus into this.
把耶稣放心里就好 We should all bring Jesus into our hearts.
-没错 -姑娘们 -That's true. -Hey, ladies.
Horse 还记得我吗 Hi, Horse. Do you remember me?
当然 Of course I remember you.
你好吗 What's goin' on?
你说呢 You tell me.
我们别辜负DJ打碟这么酷 去喝一杯吧 Well, the DJ's killin' it. Let's go get a drink.
好 但是没冰了 Yeah, but we're outta ice.
这事儿我来处理 嘿 新来的 I'll take care of that. Hey, yo, pledgee!
去给我们弄点冰 Can you get us some ice?
好的 Yes, sir.
看 我做到了 See, I did that.
我们走吧 Let's go.
一直让我拿冰 自己没手吗 I'm tired of gettin' ice, man. Need to get their own damn ice.
就我一个人这么觉得吗 Is it me?
当然是你了 It's always you.
不 我们开了很长时间的车了 No. It seems like we've been in this car for a long time.
我没有感觉错吧 Is it me or we going a long way?
Joe 你是对的 的确是很长时间了 Joe, you're right. We have been in this car a long time.
-对 -Mabel... -Right. -Mabel...
为什么不回家 Why are we not goin' home?
你怎么知道这不是回家的路 How you know this ain't the way home?
这根本不是回家的路 Mabel, this ain't the way to the house.
对 我们不回家 No, we ain't goin' home.
我们要去Derrick湖 去找那小妞 We goin' up there to Lake Derrick to look after that little girl.
-什么 -你疯了吗 -What? -The hell you be...
我们就是要去* Yes, we are.
我们去那干什么 What the hell we goin' up there for?
你说呢* Madea, why?
当然是去找那个小妞 So we can go get that girl.
-什么 -没错 我们去找她 -What? -Yes, we goin' to get her.
-搞什么 -Mabel -What the hell? -Mabel.
她不该骗她爸爸 She shouldn't have lied to her daddy.
她可能会惹上麻烦 She might be up there in trouble or somethin'.
听着 她爹都不管她 Look here. Her daddy didn't care if she was goin'.
我更不要管 I don't give a damn if she goin'.
掉头 我们回家 Put this chick in reverse. Let's go back to the house.
Joe 闭嘴 我们就是要去 Joe, shut your mouth. We goin'.
那里可是死过人的 Mabel, people got dead up there for real.
那地儿跟我们年轻的时候不一样了 This ain't like that last time when we was playin' around.
那个叫Derrick的 That man named Derrick,
他杀了那些孩子 Mabel, he killed all them children up there
因为他们冒犯他的土地 for trespassing on his land.
我们不能去啊 We can't go up there.
还有Wilson先生 Please don't forget about Mr. Wilson.
Wilson先生也杀过很多孩子 You know Mr. Wilson up there done killed all them children.
他很危险的 He dangerous.
我真希望Wilson先生在那 这样他就可以把你带走 I sure hope Wilson is there, so he can take your ass away.
Hattie 闭嘴 Hattie, shut up.
那里根本没有Wilson先生 他们逗你的 There ain't no Wilson up there. They were playin' around with you.
对 Right.
你们干吗坐得离我这么近 And why you gotta sit so damn close to me?
让我下车 我说真的 Ma, you let me out this dang car right now, and I mean it.
你真的要下车吗 You sure you wanna get out right now?
-让我下车 马上 -好的 -Let me out right now! -Okay.
出去吧 Get on out.
我"海猪了" 我不下车 I "shanged" my mind. I don't wanna go out there.
你什么 You did what?
我"海猪了" I "shanged" my mind.
她说什么 她改主意了 What the hell is she saying? She's "shanged" her mind?
"改主意了" Changed her mind.
好好说话 Say "changed your mind."
把假牙戴上 And girl, put your teeth in.
你今晚又不工作 You ain't goin' to work tonight.
这森林黑漆漆阴森森的 我不要出去 I ain't goin' out there with them woods and things.
我不喜欢 You know I don't like the woods and things out there.
你不喜欢森林 我可是很喜欢"灌木丛"啊 You don't like woods, but I sure love a nice bush.
那就坐好 闭嘴 Then sit there and shut the hell up, Hattie.
-Mabel... -干吗 -Mabel... -What?
你为什么不自己一个人去 Why you didn't go up here by yourself?
对啊 说啊 Yeah, Ma, go on, answer that.
-说啊 -闭嘴 -Go ahead, Ma. -Shut up.
因为你们都坐我的车啊 Y'all was in my car, that's why.
我可不想把你们一一送回家 I didn't wanna drop y'all off at home
再自己一个人去 and then come up here by myself.
所以就带上你们一起 So I had all y'all to ride with me.
撒谎 你害怕了 That is a lie. Mabel, you scared.
-没错 -我怕什么 -Sure are. -I ain't scared of nothin', okay?
你怕了 承认吧 Mabel, you are scared. You know you are scared.
Brian不管孩子 If Brian don't wanna look after his own child,
那我们替他管 then we gonna have to look out after her.
你赶紧送我回家 Bruh, you better take me home.
还有我 And me too.
你也知道现在的年轻人开派对是什么样 You know when them children be having parties,
各种各样的毒品 they have all kind of drugs up here.
没错 所以我们需要去那里 That's right. That's why we need to go up there.
那姑娘说不定正在嗨呢 This girl might be out there strung out on that Ever C.
等等 等等** Hold the hell on. Hold the hell on.
你们说有毒品 Y'all say somethin' about drugs?
是的 各种各样的 Yeah, they be havin' all kind of drugs up there, Joe.
我们要去有毒品的地方 Wait, we goin' where the drugs at?
-各种各样的好东西 -那走吧 -All kinds of good things. -Come on, let's ride.
你怎么开这么慢 What the hell are you slowin' down for?
快点 快点到那儿 Speed up! Let's hurry up and get there, girl.
快点 不然好东西就没了 Yeah, hurry up and get over there before all the good-good is gone.
为什么会有人觉得这里阴森呢 I don't know why everyone thinks this place is so creepy.
我觉得很浪漫哪 I think it's kind of romantic.
浪漫 Romantic?
是的 Yeah.
你真是疯狂啊 You're kind of out there, aren't you?
我可以啊 I can be.
-嘿... -退后 兄弟 -Hey... -Back up, frat.
她是我的 This one here belongs to me.
放松 她不属于任何人 Hey, relax. She does not belong to anyone.
她嫉妒了啊 看到了吗 She's jealous. You see that?
别嫉妒 你还有Dino Hey, you don't gotta be jealous. You got Dino.
Dino That's capital D, capital O!
不 Oh... No.
没兴趣 谢谢 Not interested, thanks.
她会停下吗 Does she ever stop dancing?
显然不会 No, clearly not.
各位 起来跳舞啊 Guys, get up. Let's dance.
没音乐 There's no music.
那又怎样 So what?
我们真的该走了 Okay, I really think we need to leave.
等等 为什么 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, why?
你要走吗 熊猫 You leaving, Panda?
-是的 -好吧 那再见 -Yeah. -All right, then. I'll see you.
-好好玩 -嗯 -Have a good one. -Yeah.
拜 Bye.
这几乎是离开的第20对情侣了 That is like the 20th couple I've seen leave tonight.
-我们得走了 -那又怎样 我们不怕 -We need to get outta here. -So? We're not scared!
我们要彻夜狂欢 We're gonna ride this out through the night!
没错* I heard that.
别狂欢了 No one is riding anything, okay?
我们得走了 We gotta get outta here.
为什么大家都走了 Why is everybody leaving?
总是这样 人们会害怕 This happens all the time. People get scared.
所以才有了宵禁和父母的规定 They got curfews and their parents.
而且呢 害怕的通常是女孩子 And you know what? It's usually the girls.
但是别担心 我们会保护你们的 Yeah, but don't worry. We're here for you.
我一周锻炼三次 We work out, like, three times a week.
我们保护得了你 We can protect you!
没有DJ 但是有我啊 Yeah, and if there's no DJ, I'm here.
我会盯着你的 All right? I got my eye on you.
你离开前我会得到你的号码 And I'm gonna get your number before you leave.
-不 -你很性感 -No. -You're pretty sexy.
我们可以自己搞音乐啊 We can make our own music.
无所谓* I don't care.
好了 坐下 All right, well, come sit down, then.
她简直废了 She's annihilated.
你喝了多少 How much have you drank, Leah?
没喝够 Not enough.
说到这个 Speakin' of that...
-冰呢 -就是 -Where's the ice? -Yeah.
Kevin呢 我让他去拿冰 有一会儿了 Yeah, where the hell is Kevin? I sent him for ice, like, a while ago.
Dino 你去看看 All right, Dino, go check.
Horse 你去找Kevin Hey, Horse, find Kevin.
我刚刚让他去拿冰了 I sent him for ice, like, a while ago.
什么 他让你去 What? He just told you to do that.
我让你去 Yeah, and I told you.
就像打电话 接电话 horse 去拿冰 It's like telephone. Like, pick it up. "Hello, Horse, go get the ice."
好吧 Fine.
但是你陪我我才去 But only if you come with me.
走吧 帅哥 Giddy-up, Horsey.
干得好啊 Attaboy.
他在勾搭多少人啊 How many girls is he talking to?
就是 他同时调戏俩吗** I know. He's talking to two at once right now.
好了 All right.
看来我们只有一件事可做了 Looks like there's only one thing left for us to do.
是吗 什么 Oh, yeah? What's that?
三个字 Two words.
什么 What?
搞起来 Bang.
-你以为很搞笑吗 你太恶心了 -听着 -That's not funny. You're disgusting. -Listen...
他们俩归你 Look, look, you got them two.
Jonathan和Tiffany归你* You got Jonathan and Tiffany.
然后就互相交换 Then do the numbers, crunch the math...
-你是幸运赢家 -不了 谢谢 -Bingo! You're the lucky winner! -No, thanks.
-不可能的 让开 -拜托 -None of this is happening. Move. -Oh, come on!
-让开 让我坐下 -兄弟 -Move over! I'm sitting. Okay? -Bro.
我可是非常努力了 我在拿出自己的最佳水平 I'm tryin' here, man. I'm bringin' my A game. You're hearin' this.
是真的* It's true.
那跟我说说这里发生了什么 So tell me what happened here.
-你是说那些谋杀 -是的 -You mean with the deaths? -Yeah.
别说这个 不行 We are not gonna start talking about this. No.
这样说吧 Let's just say...
有几个不该来这儿的孩子来了这儿 A couple of kids came out here who shouldn't have been out here.
他们擅自进入他人领地 They were trespassing.
-就像我们现在这样 -是的 -Kind of like we are right now? -Yes.
据说 他们在这里玩儿 Legend has it, they were out here,
Derrick看到他们在车里做爱 然后就开始对他们下手 and Derrick saw them having sex in the car and started picking them off,
一个接一个的 one by one, and now...
有意思的是 That's the fun part.
我们要挺到明天 Tryin' to make it to the next day.
死翘翘 Dying.
这哪里有意思了 That's not fun.
-哪里有意思了 -你放轻松 -How is that supposed to be fun? -Will you relax?
我怎么放轻松 How am I gonna relax?
他们是故意这些吓我们 Listen, the guys do this so they can make us scared
然后他们就可以保护我们 and they can feel like they're protecting us.
-我是害怕了 -好吧 -I am scared. -Okay.
起作用了吗 Is it workin'?
你敢碰我 我就在Derrick之前弄死你 Touch me, and you'll die before Derrick gets here.
我愿意为你死 宝贝儿 I'm already dyin' for you, baby.
就知道会这样* Know this.
Kevin Hey, Kevin!
他人呢 Where is he?
不知道 I don't know.
别找他了 Well, let's not keep looking for him.
这些该死的新人 These damn pledgees.
来啊 这里没人 Well, come on, no one's around.
-是这个套路啊 -对啊 -Oh, it's like that? -Yeah.
你的疯狂前女友 Especially your crazy ex-girlfriend.
你干吗* What are you doing? Oh!
-是血吗 -那是什么* -is that blood? -What is that?
到处都是 Oh, it's everywhere!
-肯定是恶作剧 -什么 -It's gotta be some kind of joke. -What do you mean?
Kevin 那个新人 肯定是他搞的恶作剧 Kevin, the pledgee, he's gotta be playing some kind of joke.
这不好玩 我们走吧 This isn't funny. Let's go.
那是什么 What is that?
不知道 I don't know.
天哪 Oh, oh, my God.
我们走 Okay, we're gonna leave.
快快快 Go! Go! Go!
快点 不然好东西全没了 Hurry up and get over there before all that good-good is gone.
Joe 闭嘴 已经很快了 Joe, shut your mouth. We goin'.
该死* Shit!
叫什么* I'm gonna knock you in your throat.
你看到了吗 Did you see that?
-看到什么 -你看到了吗 -See what? -Did you see that?
看到什么 See what, girl?
-什么 -什么 -What? -What?
那个小女孩 That little girl.
-我刚刚看到了一个小女孩 -你吓死我了 -I just seen a little girl. -Look, look, you blowin' my high.
给我闭嘴 You better shut the hell up, okay?
哪有什么小女孩 Girl, don't nobody see no little girl.
搞什么 What the hell?
Mabel Mabel!
怎么回事 What is this?
你怎么了 The hell wrong with you?
天哪 Oh, my God!
你干吗 What the hell is you doin'?
-踩刹车啊 -这个我们知道 -I hit the brakes! -We know that.
差点把我甩出去 Hell, I almost threw up all over the damn car.
我也差点吐了 All my Milwaukee's Best was almost in Bam's hair.
Mabel 你撞到什么了 Mabel, you hit somethin'!
没有 我看到了角 肯定是雄鹿 是雄鹿 No. I... No, no, I saw horns. That was a buck. That was a male deer.
我看到了白裙子 Nuh-uh. I saw a white dress.
也许雄鹿在变身 Well, maybe the deer's transitioning.
胡扯啥呢 "变身" What the hell you mean, "transition"?
雄鹿"变身"是什么 What the transition of a deer?
雄鹿怎么"变身" How the hell a deer gonna transition?
Mabel 我看到了一个小女孩 Mabel, I saw a little girl.
她是穿白裙子吗 And she had on white?
没错 白裙子 She did have on a white dress.
就是我刚刚看到的 That's the same thing I saw.
你在后排怎么看到白裙子 How the hell you see a girl that was back there, up here?
根本讲不通 她脱离地心引力了吗 That don't make no damn sense. She defyin' gravity?
我不知道 但是我确定自己看到了 I don't know, but I know what I seen.
Mabel 万一是你撞死她了呢 Mabel, what if you killed her?
那她可以结束尘世的痛苦了 Well, that little ho is outta her misery now.
-我们快走吧 -Mabel 你下车看看 -Let's get the hell outta here. -Mabel, you gotta go check on her.
我才不要下车去看 I ain't finna get out this damn car and check on nobody.
Mabel 万一那小东西受伤了呢 Mabel, what if the little thing is hurt?
那她就像鹿一样死路边好了 Then she'll die soon like a deer on the side of the road.
我才不要出去看 I'm not goin' out there lookin' at her.
就是 终结他的痛苦* Hey, that's what I say. Put 'em out their misery, babe.
远离这尘世 Put 'em out to the pasture.
闭嘴* Madea, stop it now.
你得下车去看看 Ma, you need to move this here car now!
Joe Joe!
你不是想让我下车 I wish your big ass would ask me to go out there
去看看你撞了什么吧 and check to see what you hit.
你吓死人了* Hell, you'll scare every damn thing out there,
跟大脚野人似的 looking like Sasquatch.
好吧 好吧 Fine. Fine.
你要出去吗 You gonna get out?
不然呢 我去看看那只鹿 What the hell else? I'mma go check on this... The deer.
肯定是鹿 I told y'all that was a deer.
赶紧出去看看吧 Get your big ass out and go check and see what's goin' on.
是啊 赶紧去看看吧 Yeah, go ahead, Ma. You check on that.
我知道我撞了什么东西 Yeah, see what the hell I... I know I hit somethin'.
是什么 Well, Mabel, what is it?
是什么 是什么 What is it, Mabel? What is it?
别说话 Bam, hush! Damn!
车上有点血 也就这样 It's a little blood on the car, that's all.
肯定是只鹿 肯定是 Must've been a deer. That's all I hit, was a deer.
你撞的才不是动物 Mabel, you didn't hit no animal.
赶紧上车吧 Okay, well, come on. Get back in the car.
嘘 Hush!
怎么了 What is it?
嘘 Shh!
我听到有人哭 好像是个小女孩 I hear somebody cryin'. Sounds like a little girl.
是个小... It's a little...
天哪 我看到她了 我也不知道是啥 你们快出来 Oh, Lord, I see her. I don't know. Y'all come out here.
-Joe -怎么了 -Joe? -What?
快出去帮帮她 Get outta here and go help your sister.
我不喜欢她 I don't like that dude.
-Hattie 走 -好吧 -Come on, Hattie. -Oh, uh-uh now, Bam...
-我们走 -走啦 走啦 -Here we come. -Get out, get out.
跟你们说了我不喜欢这些森林 Y'all know good and well I don't like these here woods!
你们一下车 Hey, when all y'all got up here outta this car,
这车腾一下就上来了 it raised up nine inches.
Mabel 我不喜欢 Mabel, I don't like this.
真是一群白痴 These some ignorant-ass fools right here.
我不喜欢 I don't like this!
Mabel 你看看那血 Mabel, look at that blood!
我可不想一个人待车里* Look, I ain't high enough to be dealin' with this bull.
你们去吧* You know what? Yeah, y'all... y'all do that.
过来 Hattie* Come here, Hattie. Hell.
看到了吗 You see?
小女孩 Hey, little girl.
你还好吗 小女孩 You all right, little girl?
Mabel 她可能受伤了 Mabel, I think she hurt.
你真聪明啊 我当然知道她受伤了 Oh, you a Sherlock. I know she hurt.
Mabel 她会没事的 Maybe, you know what, Mabel? She'll be fine.
如果我们给她点水 也许她就会没事 If we give her some water, she'll be just fine.
水又不是万能药 Bam, water ain't the answer to every damn thing.
我们上前看看她怎么样了吧 Let's go see about the girl.
Mabel 我不想 Mabel, I don't wanna do this.
-我不敢 -嘘 她可能... -I can't do this. -Hush! Hush! She might be...
万一她死了呢 What if she die or somethin'?
-Mabel 你已经有犯罪记录了 -闭嘴 -Mabel, you got a record already! -Hush your mouth.
我们走 Come on, let's go.
Hattie 继续这样 保持* Hattie, keep pullin' away from me. Keep pullin' away from me.
-就这样 -我们来了 -Come on! Come on! -Here we are.
继续这样 Keep pullin' away from me.
她在哭 She is cryin'.
小女孩 你没事吧 Hey, little girl. You all right?
别哭了 Don't cry though.
搞什么* The hell?
那是什么 Mabel! What the hell is that?
我要跑了 我要跑了 I'm out! I'm out!
Mabel 别乱跑 上车* Mabel, why you runnin' down there? Get in the car!
开车 Start the damn car!
Joe 你坐那儿干吗 Joe, what the hell you doin' up there?
快走 We gotta get outta here!
-这可不好 -开车* -This ain't good! -Drive!
Mabel 上帝啊 Mabel! Oh, Lord!
-怎么了 -开车 -What the hell was it? -Drive, Joe!
车启动不了 The car won't start.
不要啊 Oh, hell no!
她去哪了 Where she go to?
-不知道 -她去哪了 -I don't know... -Where did she go?
她去哪了 她去哪了 Where is she? Where's she at?
Mabel 我不知道 我真不知道 Mabel, I really don't know. I really don't know!
那小姑娘在我的车顶 I know that damn girl is not on top of my damn car!
不知道 她去哪了 I don't know. Where'd she go?
我不知道 不知道 I don't know, I don't know now!
-开车 开车 -怎么了* -Drive! Drive, Joe! -What is it?
-嘿 -看 -Hey! -Look at this!
她在那 在那 Ma, there she go! There she go!
开车 Get... Move!
开车 你知道怎么启动 Get it, Ma! You know how to get this bitch started.
Joe 开车 Joe, drive!
开车 Joe Go, Joe!
你干吗这么紧张 放轻松 Why are you so tense? Will you relax?
Leah呢 Where's Leah?
她跟Horse走了 你应该跟Dino走 She went with Horse. You should go with Dino.
我才不要理那个怪胎 I'm not going with that creep.
Gabriella... Gabriella...
好了 我要去找她 No, come on. I'm just gonna go look for her.
别别别别 Don't, don't. Don't, don't, don't.
为什么 Why not?
谁知道她们在干什么 别去 You don't know what they're doin' out in the woods. Just don't.
你应该跟dino一起 You should go with Dino.
我不要 I don't wanna go with him!
我要回家 Look, I just wanna go home.
不 为什么要回家 我们玩得很开心呢 No. Why? We're having fun.
不 我瞌睡了 No, I'm getting sleepy.
-我累了 -好好好 -I'm tired. I just... -Okay, well,
喝杯酒 跳个舞 here, have a drink and dance!
你没意识到这里有多恐怖吗 No! Are you not aware of how creepy this place is?
找个帐篷钻进去 把链子拉好 Fine. Go in one of the tents and zip it all the way up.
谁知道那些人在帐篷里做什么 People do all kinds of things in those tents.
我不去 I'm not going in one of those tents.
好吧 还有一个帐篷 Okay. Okay, listen, we got another tent, all right?
你可以待那里 You can stay in there.
就我们俩女孩吗 Just us girls?
是的 Yeah, just us girls.
-在哪 -跟我走 -Where is it? -Come on.
在那边 我带你去 It's over there. I could show you.
什么 好吧 What? Okay.
拜 晚安 Bye! Good night!
-我会回来的 -什么 -I'm coming back. -Why?
这样我们就可以一起进帐篷里 So we can go in our tent.
我要跟Jonathan留这儿 Honey, I'm staying with Jonathan.
-什么 -是的 -What? -Yes.
-你说真的吗 -是的 -Are you serious? -Yes, I'm serious!
拜 不用等我了 Bye, don't wait up.
-好吧 -好的 -Fine. -Fine!
-好吧 -走吧 -Fine! -All right, come on. Let's go.
别碰我 我不跟你一起走 Don't touch me. I'm not walking with you.
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait! Wait.
等等 我得给我爸打电话 Hold on. I need to call my dad.
你爸爸现在能怎么办 Wait, what is your dad gonna do right now?
我不知道 I don't know!
没信号 你的手机呢 给我你的手机 There's no reception! Where's your phone? Give me your phone!
手机不管用的 Leah, phones don't work out here, all right?
-我们怎么办 -快跑* -What are we gonna do? -Let's go! Let's go!
救命 Help!
不不不 No! No! No!
不 No!
我去求救 I'm gonna get help!
Joe 能不能开快点* Joe, people like you work on my nerve when they drive.
踩点油门 你这样我们会晕车的* Put a little on the gas, let up on the gas. That's how people get carsick.
闭嘴 让我好好开车 Shut up! Let me drive.
你给我闭嘴 别那样跟我说话 You better shut the hell up, talkin' to me like that.
我告诉你... I will show you how to talk back...
这车已经很老了 经不起你这样折腾 This car is old. It can't handle that.
你干嘛这么折腾我的车 Why is you tryin' to drive my car so hard?
我对人对车都这样 Damn, that's what the hell I do with a car and a woman and a ho.
使劲折腾 I drive 'em hard.
我们现在哪也去不了了 Well, now, we ain't goin' nowhere.
看来你们得下去走了 Well, look like I'm finna put all you hoes out on the streets to walk.
我才不要下车走呢 I'm not gettin' out this car and walkin' goin' nowhere.
你知道运动是什么吗 Do you know what the hell exercise is?
"运动"和"驱魔"... Exercise and exorcism, that's what the hell...
你得"运动" "驱魔" You need to exercise, exorcism...
你都需要的 And a "circumcism." You need all them things.
感觉下车运动吧 Get out and exercise sometime, Mabel.
我才不下车 I ain't gettin' out this car. I know that.
我也不下车 I know that I'm not either.
我也不下车 You know I ain't walkin' nowhere.
你们一群懒鬼 'Cause you know you ain't exercisin'.
你会是第一个死的 And you know what? You gonna be the first one to go.
你为什么这么说 Why you say that?
他们会抓到你的 You know they gonna catch you.
你跑不过他们 'Cause everybody else gonna outrun your ass
那样就够了 and that's all they need,
他们肯定会逮到你 is one little piece of meat hangin' around behind
吃了你 and they grab the low-hangin' fruit.
闭嘴 Joe Hush, Joe.
救命 Help me!
搞什么 What the hell?
我差点打你 Girl, I almost punched the hell outta you.
他们要杀我 They're trying to kill me!
这是派对上那个女孩 This that girl from the party.
别开门 Don't open that door.
他们要杀我 They're trying to kill me.
谁要杀你 Who tryin' to kill you?
-Derrick -听着 -Derrick! -Listen, baby...
这里没地方了 Ain't no room in here.
我们已经够挤了 We already are spread out in here.
拜托 让我进去吧 Please, please, you have to let me in.
我见过这美妞 让她进来 你好啊* I seen that ass. Let her in here. What's up, mama?
他们已经杀了一个人了 They already killed one man.
他们也会杀了我 还会杀了Tiffany They're gonna kill me too and they're trying to get Tiffany.
等等 他们杀了谁 Wait, who they kill?
Horse Horse!
-Horse -妓女 -Horse? -Whores, huh?
那个帅气性感的大学男孩 That fine, sexy college boy?
真是可惜 What a waste of a man.
-求你们了 -冷静 冷静 -Please. -Calm down, baby. Calm down.
别激动 爷爷在这儿呢 Ain't no need in gettin' all excited. Big Papa here.
救救我 救救我 No, please help me. Please, you have to help me.
不行 Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh!
都上来 I want both of them in here.
-什么都 -别管了 -Both of what? -Don't worry about it.
姑娘 快上车 Girl, go ahead and get in the damn car.
-哈 -谢谢* -Uh-uhh! -Thank you.
哪还有地方啊 We don't have enough room for her.
上车 Get in the car.
胖妞总想挤走性感妞 It's always the ones that's fat tryin' to keep the sexy ones out.
好了 我们得马上走 Okay, we gotta go right now!
等等 跟我说说 Tiffany呢 Wait a minute. Talk to me, honey. Where's Tiffany at?
在营地 She's at the camp still!
营地在哪 Where is the camp at?
一直往前走 It's all the way up there.
-我们去接她 -嗯 -Well, we gonna have to go get her. -Yeah.
-不行 -嗯 -No, we don't. -Uh-uh!
-嗯 -投票决定吧 -Mm-hmm. -Let's put it to a vote.
我们去接她 Well, look here. Go on and get her.
英雄就落难少女 You know, they always need a man to come rescue a damsel.
出发吧 So go on, damn man.
真是受够了 等车不再冒烟再走吧* I'm so sick of this. Wait till this car stops smokin'.
-然后再回去接她 -什么 -We will drive back there and get her. -We'll what?
你什么毛病 What the hell wrong with you?
你什么毛病* What the hell's wrong with you?
看看看看 Look, look, look, look, look!
不不不 Oh, no, no, no!
好久没见这家伙了啊 I ain't gonna see him for a long time.
我才不担心 Yeah, you know what? I ain't worried.
肯定是兄弟会的人假扮的 That ain't nothin' but them damn frat boys from that college.
不不不 不是 No, no, no. It's not!
-你确定 -确定 -You sure? -Yes, I'm sure!
搭档 Look here, partner.
你出去看看 出去看看 Go on out there and see if that's them. Go on out there.
不是的 No, that's not them!
我不玩了 真是受够了 You know what? I'm not playing around. I'm tired of this.
-不不不 -Mabel -No, no, no. -Mabel...
去它的 我来 你们好好坐着 To hell with it. I got this. Y'all sit there and hush.
他可不会喜欢你 He is not turned on by you.
我就说一次 你听好了 I'mma tell you this one time, okay?
我受够你们这样了 I'm not gonna deal with none of this bull from y'all.
我不想再来万圣节这套了 I don't deal with this Halloween bullcrap!
好吗 Okay?
所以我给你说清楚 So let me make this perfectly clear.
我知道你们这些兄弟会的人在假扮... I know it's y'all frat boys up in there playing with this fake...
你干什么 Joe What the hell are you doing, Joe?
准备启动啊 I'm getting ready to drive off.
你不管你妹妹了吗 You gonna leave your sister?
我从来都不喜欢那哥们 I don't like that dude.
你的眼呢 Where your eyes?
Mabel 他来了 Mabel, here he come.
Mabel Ma!
开车啊 Joe Drive, Joe!
Joe 你赶紧开车吧 Joe, I think you better drive.
他去哪了 他往哪走了 Mabel, where did he go? Where did he go?
不知道 不知道 I don't know. I don't know now.
开车啊 Joe Drive, Joe!
我说了 轮胎瘪了 I told you, the tire flat.
我告诉你 Let me tell you somethin'.
不想看我发飙 You ain't never seen me run from the po-po.
就赶紧开车 开车* You better drive this son of a... Drive!
就是这个帐篷了 So, uh, this is the tent.
你已经说20分钟了 You've been saying that for the past 20 minutes, okay?
嗯 Yep.
你确定不想让我留下来 Sure you don't want me to stick around?
-不用了 谢谢 -帮你看看有没有蜘蛛 -No. I'm good, thank you. -Check for spiders?
你可以走了 You can go.
你在这里会孤单的 It gets kind of lonely in here.
我可以保护自己 你走吧 I can protect myself. Can you just go?
如果Derrick来了呢 What if Derrick comes?
我不管 我没事的 I don't care. I'm fine!
好吧 就算Derrick来了也没事 我知道了* Okay, so it's cool if Derrick comes in. I see how it is.
你有点紧张啊 You know you're a little uptight?
-我不管 -很好玩的* -I don't care. -Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
你听到了吗 You hear that?
你听到了吗 他们多开心哪 You hear that right there? How much fun they're having out there?
-而我们这么无聊 -不 听起来是小孩子的声音 -That we're not? -No, that sounds like little kids.
什么 The hell?
-那是什么 -我出现幻觉了* -What is that? -I think I'm tripping out.
你听到了吗 绝对是幻觉 Yeah. You hear that? Definitely tripping.
我听到了 听起来是小... Yeah, I hear that. That sounds like little...
天哪 那是Derrick的女儿们吗 Oh, my gosh. Do you think those are Derrick's daughters?
我要离开这儿了 I'm getting out of here, okay?
我要去叫上Tiffany 我要离开这儿 I'm grabbing Tiffany, I'm getting out of here.
-问一句 -什么 -Hey, quick question. -What?
你能跑多快 How fast can you run?
-干吗 -那个 -Why? -That.
天哪 快跑 快 Oh, my God! Run! Go!
让开* Get out of my way!
知道我想要什么生日礼物吗 So you know what I want for my birthday?
不知道 No.
你 You.
你把衣服脱了吧 You should take your clothes off.
-就现在吗 -对 现在 -Right now? -Yeah, right now.
-dino告诉我会这样的 -不不不 -Dino told me this was gonna happen. -No, no, no.
-不不不 -怎么 我看起来很肥吗 -No, no, no, no! -No? Do I look fat?
-看看看 -今天是我的放松日 -Look, look, look! -It was my cheat day!
不不不 Oh, no, no, no!
天哪 Oh, my God!
不不不 No, no, no!
-怎么了 -我们得去找Leah和Gabriella -What? -We have to look for Leah and Gabriella.
不 Tiffany 他们只能靠自己了 No, Tiffany, they're on their own!
我们把他们带来的 不能丢下他们 We came here with them. We can't leave them.
-Tiffany 我不想死啊 -我们必须找到他们* -Oh, Tiffany, come on. I don't wanna die! -We have to find them!
我也不想死 可是他们也不想啊 I don't wanna die either, but they don't wanna die!
Gabriella 天哪 Gabriella! Oh, my God!
我们得走了 We gotta go.
-我们得走了 -我们得走了 -We gotta go. -We have to go.
-这里不对劲 -我知道 我们得走了 -There's something going on here. -I know. We need to leave!
那边有条路 我们走 I saw a road over there. Let's go.
谁有电话 All right, who has a phone?
我有 在衣服里 等等 Um, uh... It's in my boobs. Hold on.
有信号 有信号 我打个电话 I have reception. I have reception. I can make a call.
-你打给谁 -警察啊 -Who are you gonna call? -I'm gonna call the police!
不行 不能再惹麻烦 No! We don't wanna get in trouble again!
我给我妈妈打电话 她会知道该怎么办 I'll call my mom. She'll know what to do.
我们快死了 你还担心惹麻烦 You're caring about getting into trouble when we're gonna die?
-对啊 -天哪 -Yeah! -Oh, my gosh.
-喂 -喂 妈妈 -Hello? -Hello? Mom? Mom?
-玩得好吗 -不好 -You havin' a good time? -No!
-你快来接我们 -怎么了 -You need to come and get us! -What's goin' on?
出事了 有个拿着电锯的家伙 There's something happening. There's a guy with a chainsaw.
-什么 -我也不知道 -What? -I don't know!
-有鬼 -Tiffany 你在哪 -There's ghosts. -Where are you, Tiffany?
我也不知道 就是树林里 有人要杀我们 I don't know. I'm in the woods. Someone's trying to kill us!
-哪里 你在哪里 -我不知道 -Where? Where are you? -I don't know!
别挂电话 Stay on the line.
喂 喂 Hello? Hello?
电话断了 The call dropped.
-怎么办 我们得离开这儿 -我也不知道* -What do we do? We gotta get outta here. -I don't know.
-Mabel 看起来不太好啊 -小心 Joe -Mabel, doesn't look good. -Be careful, Joe. Hell.
又来了 想说服... Here we go again. Tryin' to tell a man...
Joe 靠边停车 Joe, pull over there.
你开得太快了 You're going too damn fast.
-停车 -你看 -Pull right here. -Look here, bruh.
-停车 -闭嘴 -Pull up, Joe. Hell. -Shut up, dude.
停车 别让其它车撞上我的卡迪拉克 Get off the damn road before somebody hit my Cadillac.
-Shut up, sir. -Pull up right here.
Pull up. You got to let it cool off, Joe.
-Let a man drive. -Pull up here.
We all know you wanna be a man.
Stop, stop, stop! Damn!
-Turn the car off. -Can't run with y'all.
-Turn it off. Hell. -They have a car out here!
Is this where they supposed to be?
-They were. -Need some air freshener up in here.
The hell? This girl got me out here lookin' all over for her.
Get on out the car, y'all.
Ma, you sure?
Yes, hell.
We gonna get out here?
Yes, this girl got me out here lookin' for her.
Come on, Bam!
There's another sign, Mabel. Why, we need to...
Why, we don't need to be out here at all.
I just want you to know.
If they don't come back, I'm here for you.
-Uh... -Good girl.
Look here, I'm just trying to be me, you know?
It's okay.
Yeah, you, you over 18, ain't you?
No. Mmm-mmm.
Oh, hell. Well, never mind.
-No. -I was just gonna make you feel like a...
-Nope. -...a woman.
Where is she at? Come on down here!
-Ma! -Come on down here!
We need to get on up outta here
before these here people get back, Ma.
Which is another sign
why we need to get outta here, Mabel.
-Where is everybody at? -We need to go!
-Ma? -What?
I gotta use the bathroom.
Well, do like Bam here. Go on, squirt and just piss on yourself.
I do not piss on myself.
Okay, well, do like Bam and squirt a little pee then.
-Squirt a little pee. -Mabel...
Who you know don't squirt?
I don't squirt. I shakes.
I'm gonna need y'all to quit this here now.
I said I got to go to the bathroom.
-Well, where the... -Look it.
That look like an outhouse over there.
Go on over there and use it. We'll be right here.
-Say what? -That outhouse.
-That's where the bathroom's at? -Yes.
Over across the waters over there?
Yeah, girl, go on.
Ma, you, you want...
What if that little girl over there?
What?
What if that little girl over there, Ma?
I ain't in the mood for this tonight, I ain't lyin'.
God, we left that little girl way back there.
She ain't round here nowhere. Go on over there to use the bathroom
so we can get the hell outta here.
Ma, you'll go with me?
Why the hell I gotta go? I don't gotta pee!
Ma, I'm scared to go over there by myself, Ma.
I don't wanna go over there.
Look, I just need to find this girl, let my car cool off,
try to put some air in my tire so I can get the hell up outta here.
Come on. Go with me, Ma, please.
Hell, come on, then. Hell, come on.
I know I ain't goin' over there with y'all.
-I'll be right here when ya'll... -We know, Bam.
I love your little outfit you got on.
You see... What is that? A pussycat?
I'm a leopard.
You're a leopard? Oh, okay, if you're a leopard,
then I will make sure your stripes get in order.
Shit.
I know you want me.
They say once you go black, you never go back.
Once you go old,
you might get mold.
Molded into what I want you to be.
Ugh.
Yeah. You know, they call me a mule.
No! No, no, no!
No! Ah!
That's pretty much what happens
every time I tell a woman that, that I'm...
They call me "mule."
'Cause I'm hung.
I know she run.
You better run, 'cause once you go old...
Little girl,
I don't know where your mama and daddy at,
but I'm not the man you wanna mess with.
They should have warned you about me.
I'm a pimp from back in the day.
I would slap your ass silly.
Go on somewhere with that bull, little girl.
That's just what the hell I thought.
Come on, Hattie. Hell.
Walk on over here to the bathroom.
Ma, that sure is a long way
-across the bridge. -Go on across the bridge! Hell!
Scared of everything.
Ma, this here water look kind of spooky here.
Ain't nothin' wrong with it.
Just an outhouse over here.
We used to have these back in the country.
Outhouse? Well, I don't know nothin' about that.
Go, come on! Go ahead. This bridge bouncing.
I don't like the looks of things around here.
This here... What is that?
Uh-uh, I play about a lot of things, but my life ain't one of them.
Ma, make sure you stand here with me, hear?
Fine, there, the outhouse is there.
All right.
You stay here. You wait right here for me.
I'mma wait right here. Go on in there.
-All right. -I'mma wait right here.
-Go on in. -All right.
I'm right here, Hattie.
-Don't go nowhere, Ma. -Go on in the outhouse.
-I'll be right back, Ma. -Go on in there. Hell.
All right, Ma. I'll be out directly.
-Yes, okay. Go on in. -All right.
Okay. Ma?
-Yes? -You still there?
If I wasn't out here, Hattie, would I be saying "yes"?
All right, I won't be a long time. Be out in a while here.
In a minute. Just give me a minute.
Just hurry the hell up.
All right, Ma.
It's crazy out here.
All right.
You still there, Ma?
Ma?
Ma, you still there?
Madea?
Help me, Jesus! Help me!
You still there, Ma?
Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jesus!
Help me, Jesus!
-Help me, Jesus! -Madea?
Help me, Jesus! I need you, Jesus!
-I repent all my sins! -Madea?
Help me, Jesus!
Ma?
Madea?
Madea!
Ma!
Madea!
Yeah, Bam. Hell. That's what I know.
So, you know, if it don't work out with them, you know...
Just, I got you covered. Don't worry about it.
Mabel!
-Get in the car. Get in the car. -Joe...
-What? -Uh, I need you to go check on Hattie.
Why you ain't help out, bruh?
We got to get the hell outta here.
What happened?
I saw him, girl. He out there.
I saw Derrick, baby. He out there. He real.
What?
-What the hell happened? -I saw him.
Mabel, what?
I know this gotta be them dumb college kids
playing a game, I know it.
Madea! Madea!
-Madea! -What the hell is wrong with her?
Madea! Ma, open the door!
-Madea! -The hell is wrong with you?
-Madea! -What?
Ma!
You didn't have to leave me like that, Ma.
I sure the hell did.
You should've seen him comin' out that damn water.
I had to get the hell outta there.
Around here, it's every man for himself.
Ma, Ma.
-I saw her, Ma! -Saw who?
-That little girl. -That little girl's back there.
How the hell you see her over there?
Joe, that little girl. I just seen that little girl.
And she tried to get me!
-You say she was what? -She was...
She was watchin' me piss!
I saw him too.
Nah, Ma.
Uh, uh, uh.
Joe, don't start nothin'.
Uh, oh... Hell no.
I ain't finna look back there, Joe. Somethin' back there,
I'mma punch you dead in yo' face.
Look! Look!
Look!
-Oh, hell. -Go, Joe! drive, Joe! Drive!
Sheriff? Sheriff.
Calm down.
My daughter is at Lake Derrick.
We told those kids not to go up there and they sneak up there all the time.
Okay, well, she needs help because she says she's in trouble.
Well, I've got a deputy up there and I'll look in...
No, no, no. I need help now, Sheriff.
I'm working on it.
Have a seat.
I'm not gonna sit down. This is my daughter.
Well, there's nothing you can do.
Oh, God, I shouldn't have let her go.
I shouldn't have let her go up there.
No, you should not have let her go.
I know. I'm sorry, Brian.
But can you please help?
-I don't know what I can do. -Please.
Do something!
-How are you this calm? -Okay, fine. All right.
Sheriff, do you think...
Okay, come on. I'll take a ride.
I appreciate it. Thank you.
Calvin, it may be, uh...
A little dangerous up there. Do you wanna go with us?
Uh, no, no, it's okay. You guys got this, right?
I'll stay and, you know, comfort her, okay?
-Yeah, okay. -Yeah, thanks.
Really, she needs me, you know?
My dad calls it "buice."
"Buice."
Thank you, guys. You got this, you know?
Joe, this car ain't gonna make it.
Mabel...
I don't know what's goin' on, but I don't believe it's gonna make it.
That's what I mean about this not a nice car.
We need to take cover, Ma.
Hell no.
What the hell you stoppin' for, Joe?
This car. That's what she was talking about.
You ain't got no nice car.
Joe, come on, y'all. Let's go!
Do you know what a woman's car say about her?
It tells you if she any good in the bed.
If a woman got a nice car, that means a man done put down some money
and got her a nice car.
You know what this car say about you?
Don't nobody give a nuts!
You bitch ass!
Look here. We gotta take cover, I say.
What?
Yes. That's what I did when I was in the military.
Joe, you was a cook in the army. What you taking shelter for?
How the hell you know what I was doin' in the army?
Was you there, bruh?
They only allowed dudes in there.
Was it you who was in the platoon?
And where the hell is we supposed to take some shelter?
-Right. -There.
Ain't no way I'm goin' up there.
Now, first of all, Bam don't climb no steps. Number one.
And she ain't goin' up in that raggedy-ass house.
Look at that. Uh-uh.
Haunted house. No.
Bam, somebody tryin' to kill your ignorant ass,
and you won't walk up five steps?
-Joe. -That's somethin', man.
You'll walk up them steps for a honey bun. I know that.
Your ass'll get up there for a damn honey bun.
Ain't no dang way I'm goin' up there.
Fine. Sit here and be goat meat for one of these killers.
You think somebody livin' up in there?
Hattie, that's just ignorance fallin' out your darn lips right now.
That is ignorance fallin' from your lips through your brain.
That don't make no sense to me at all.
Look at that house. Do you believe anybody lives up in that house?
I know all that, Ma. But doggone!
Will you just hush?
Please!
Y'all think they got a telephone in there?
Is she serious?
Why the hell would they have a telephone up there?
-They windows is boarded up. -Right, if they can't afford a window,
how the hell are they gonna afford a telephone?
I don't care if they got a phone in there.
That's shelter. Y'all better go on.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Joe, why don't you just go up there and knock on the door?
Right. Then why don't you go knock?
Go on up in there and knock?
You go knock. I think a man should go up there and knock.
Yeah, you just answered your own question.
Go on up there and knock. You know you got a scrotum.
Hattie, you gonna have to stop that!
That's that little bim!
That's that little bim! What's that, little bim?
Ma, look at that little bim!
That's that little bim!
-Hattie! -Get off, get off!
Get out! Get out of here, Bam!
Here I go!
Oh, lordy! Oh, these steps!
-My knees! My breasts! My back! -We gonna need a bottle.
Mabel, I can't take...
Yeah, got rid of them asses.
I told my dad and uncle the awful things you said to me.
And they wanna talk to you.
Hurry up! Get the hell in here!
-Why the hell are you so slow! -Mabel!
Mabel! Slow, nothin'.
Y'all tryin' to kill me, ain't you?
Hell, somebody tryin' to kill all of us. Damn!
Where they at?
Behind me.
Oh, okay, I'll talk to 'em.
'Cause I'm sick of y'all and this bull.
I saw this movie,
and I'mma show you what they do to this kind of...
Good luck.
I changed my mind.
Where the hell is Joe?
I don't know and I don't give a damn where he at!
We need a phone!
Old people, we don't have reception!
Why are you screaming?
The hell y'all doin' up in here?
We've been hiding out here!
You scared me!
I'm scared!
Who the hell else in here with y'all?
Me and...
Jonathan.
And your boy.
-Your boy's here. -And me.
Are you pranking us?
Hell no, ain't nobody pranking you. Hell.
I thought y'all doin' this to us!
No, it's not us!
And it sure the hell ain't us.
Oh, hell no!
-What is it? -Ma, look!
What is it?
What is it? What is it?
Joe!
Aah, look!
-Joe! -Look!
They got my baby now! That's my baby!
Oh, Hattie, that's too much damn drama.
Not my baby! That's Joe! They got him, Ma!
You not gonna go out there and help your brother?
Hell no, I ain't goin' out there to help him at all.
He on his own now.
He been on his own for a while.
Mama always said he was special.
Damn. Cold-blooded, sister.
Well, he dead now. We'll look for him in the daylight.
-Praise the Lord. -Mabel,
if he dead now, what the hell we gotta look for him for in the morning?
You know what? That's right. When you're dead, it don't matter.
We'll let Jesus find him when he comes. Praise Him!
Right! Right.
That's your boyfriend.
You carry your ass out there and you look for him!
Well, I'm just gonna pray and ask God for me another one.
I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna be runnin' from no man!
Do I look like I'mma be runnin' from a damn man?
Let him come his ass over. Let him come his ass over here.
-You know what I'm gonna do? -What?
Go out there and I'mma beat his ass!
Okay, so I get it.
You are big and bad and everything, Ma.
You just got to beat his ass.
That's all you gots to do.
That's right, that's right. I'm goin' out there.
Soon as I catch my breath.
Them brownies ain't sittin' right.
I shouldn't have eat them little brown doughnuts.
Well, there he is!
Where? Where? Who?
What is he doin'?
Is that a chainsaw?
Yes, ma'am.
Is he about to saw up my car?
He can't hear me, can he?
You better leave my car alone!
-Look here, Lake Derrick man! -Mabel...
-What is it? -Oh, no, no, no.
Bam, don't start that wiggle.
Mabel, I gotta...
I gotta teet...
I gotta tinkle. I gotta tee-tee.
-Bam. -Mabel, I gotta pee.
-Come on. -Bam.
Tinkling is for little people.
Pissin' is for big-ass people like us.
Well, Mabel.
Lord have mercy.
You better damn hold it!
Well, now, Ma, you know good and well she ain't able to do that.
Just hush. I gotta figure out what we gonna do.
-Guys, we can make a run for my car. -Yes!
Girl, how the hell all of us gonna fit in a damn Mini Cooper?
Well, I was hoping that you'd stay here and we'd go for help.
-Yes. -You know what?
That's what we gonna do. We that damn stupid.
We gonna stay here and let you go get in the car and leave.
Y'all need some help.
I'll go for help.
God almighty!
Hattie, stop swinging that damn purse before you hit me!
-Dad? -Hey!
-Dad. -Gabriella.
-I'm so happy to see you. -What's goin' on?
-There's people coming. We have to go. -What?
We gotta go! To the other side. Other side!
-Run, run, run. -What is goin' on? What...
There's people in the house.
They're killing us! And then the little girl!
Look!
Yes!
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You mean this little girl?
-Yes! Yes, that's her! -Yes! Obviously, that one!
-I'm just gonna talk to her. -No!
Everybody, calm down. I'm just gonna talk...
-Come on, bro! -He talkin' to her!
Look at him! He's crazy as hell!
Look at that girl.
He's the ghost whisperer.
Cool. Cool.
He bringin' her over here!
No, no, no!
Hold the hell on, Brian. Why this little girl not attacking you?
Why you got all that damn mud on your shoe?
What you and Victor been doin'?
Well...
-Dad, did you do this? -Uh...
Well...
It's a good one.
Look. We got you!
So you think this is funny, right?
No. I did not think it was funny.
No, you wanna sneak up here and come up to Lake Derrick
without talking to me. This is not good.
This place is dangerous, as you can see.
Really dangerous.
This was not funny.
I thought it was funny. Didn't you, Victor?
I really did.
Seeing that you lied to me.
I'm sure you're sorry now though.
Look, I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to lie to you.
Wait, so where are all the other people that were here?
Um, uh... Don't worry about that. And you, son.
You wanna date my daughter? Let me explain something to you.
You have to come and knock on my door and say you wanna take her out.
-Do you understand? -Yes, sir.
You don't just sneak up here with her.
-Yes, sir. -Hey.
You remember Rose and Renee who brought the ponies?
This is Rose and Renee.
Come on, let's go. Come on!
All right, everybody. Come on.
You wanna know where they are? Get in the car.
-Okay. -All right. Shotgun.
Get in the car. Come on, let's go.
Yeah, let's get out of here. Scoot all the way over.
-Sheriff... -Listen,
I told you I have a deputy up there.
But something needs to happen. I've been waiting for hours.
You give me no information.
-Come on! -Mom!
Oh! Oh, baby!
-Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm okay.
Oh, my God! You scared me to death.
I was scared to death. But it was Dad.
What do you mean, it was Dad?
Dad and Mr. Vic tried to prank us.
-Hey, don't... -Now you know better.
Do not start with me. You shouldn't have let her go up here.
I know, I know.
You what?
You're right.
I know. I'm sorry.
She said I was right.
Yes, I am right. You're right. I am right.
I'm right!
And we have to co-parent.
And we have to co...
-That's right. -That's right.
She's 18, but we've got one more to go, and we should co... we should co-parent.
But I'm sorry.
I'm gonna do better, okay?
I'm gonna do better.
-Come here. -Okay.
That's all right.
Hey, man.
You came to bail us out, right?
What? Everybody's locked up?
Yeah, trespassing.
Boo! Happy Halloween!
You were in on this, Anna?
Sure was.
Thought it would teach him not to cheat on me!
I know you want it. I know you want it. You still want it!
You can't hide from me!
Dad, are you serious?
What? They all had drugs on them.
We thought they were all dead.
Well, you happy they're alive?
Although, that one,
he'll be staying here a little longer.
Wait, me?
Why... Why me?
You were hittin' on my daughter!
But wait till you get out here.
'Cause I'm gonna braid your hair
and then I'm gonna mousse it.
I'll bail you out, baby.
Yeah, don't take that deal, dude.
Uh, you're just, uh... You're better off in jail.
Just spend the night there. I think you're safer.
You sure about that?
I'll stay in here. No, it's okay.
Hattie!
Leave that baby alone before you give him worms.
Girl, I ain't got nothin' but some gummy worms for him.
-Mabel... -Shh!
Don't call my damn name. The government up in here.
Oh, Madea.
That's what the hell they know me by. What?
What is you duckin' down for?
Hush, I'm trying to be inco-gragrigo.
Inco-gragrigo?
Shut... Girl, yes.
We ain't goin' to no inco-gragrigo this weekend.
Bam, hush.
I have to be on the low.
On what kind of low?
I have to be on the low 'cause I'm on the wall.
Look. Look on the wall.
-Mabel! -Bam!
Shut the... Hi, Officer.
Shut up. Don't be temptin' my damn anger.
As soon as I can run the hell up outta here,
I'm gettin' the hell up out this bitch. I'm telling you right now.
That is a beautiful picture.
You look so pretty.
Do I? That was my good side.
That's one of them old ones from back in the day, honey.
That's one of my early mug shots
when I was in the Black Panthers.
Is that right?
Yeah, they used to call me Pussy Panther.
But Mabel, they got you down for check fraud.
That ain't all. You didn't read all of them.
"Check fraud, criminal trespassing..."
Yeah, attempted murder.
Assassination.
-Deadly weapon. -Deadly weapon.
Wait! This is a joke, right?
No, no. Our work here is done.
You gotta bail us out. Please! Please!
You guys figure it out,
and get everybody outta jail.
All on you.
-We're done. -We got 'em.
-We got 'em. -That's it!
-Nice when a plan comes together. -Yeah, man.
And that thing with the water that you did was really, really great.
-The water? -Yeah.
That wasn't me.
Come on.
That was you.
No, that...
Hey, partner.
They tell me you killed your whole family.
That right?
Well, look, I got this sister of mine
that I've been wantin' dead for a long time.
She's a big old dude.
You think you can help me with that?
I'll share some of that good-good with you.
40-Baker, take one. Mark.
Hold on. Come on, Brian. Wait a minute.
Wait, wait for "action." Damn.
40-Baker, take one.
He ready to go. And action.
Them drugs done mess you up. Y'all know he 32?
Thirty-two years old, sittin' there, lookin' like he 99.
Mabel, anybody ever tell you you just look like a man?
I mean, you just look like a man in a dress.
Ain't nothin' soft, ain't nothin' feminine, ain't nothin' pretty.
You just look like a dude.
What is wrong with you?
Ma! Ma!
Madea!
Okay. One more time.
One more time.
-Deadly weapon. -Deadly weapon.
On the White House grounds. Treason.
Let's try it again.
What the hell is a car beepin' for?
'Cause it's a...
Oh, Lord. She don't know nothin'.
When your ass gets up in the morning,
you back up out the bed... I hear, "Beep, beep, beep."
It let people know that a wide load is comin' through.
Oh, damn.
Wait till you get out here!
Great. One more time.
"I'm gonna braid your hair and I'm gonna mousse it!"
One more time, okay? Here we go.
All right, here we go.
-Ready? -Only for you.
-Man, that's crazy. -All right, cool.
Here we go.
Action.
What the hell, girl?
Are you all right?
Mabel!
And we cut. Check the gate.
So go this way. This way a little bit.
Do you have her?
Get your ass outta here.
And your corn wasn't even bread.
Did you say, "And your corn..."
"And your corn wasn't even bread?"
Madea!
What?
You know what?
-Action. -You ju...
Mabel. You know what?
Yes, I know what. This is the real...
Yes, I know what.
Bae! One minute!
Anna! Anna! Anna!
Cut. All right, let's...
I'm sorry!
-You did that? -Yeah, I guess so.
That's a great voice, there.
I'm gettin' ready to go out there.
-You know what I'mma do? -What?
Beat his ass.
Okay, Mabel. Well, come on, let's go. Let's go.
The door this way. Why you pointin' that way?
'Cause something's gonna happen over here and you need to cross.
You do it too much. You know what I'mma do?
Drive. Drive. Drive.
The door's locked. Door's locked.
Oh, my God!
It's four o'clock in the damn morning.
We gonna lose...
We over here with my cousins.
They like, "Go on, TP, do what you need to do."
When y'all hear the gunshots, just get low.
It's way down there...
behind her belly button.
It's just in there. It's desecrated in there. That's all.
That breath done marched up outta your mouth like the Confederates.
Don't do that no damn more.
Walking dead comin' up outta your lips.
Don't spray it now.
Wait, get a little wider there. Back there.
You dial 1-800-CHOKE-THAT-HO,
and we sent out pimps from all across the nation
to come handle your situation.
No, it was good.
That's a wrap on Boo 2, guys.
All right, guys. Thank you so much.
Thank you, crew. Great job, everybody.
#What are those footsteps behind you?#
#What creature lives under your bed?#
#A ghoul or a creep#
#And he comes when you sleep#
#A chill when you wake up the dead#
#What is that howl from the woods#
#What shadows that lurk on the ground#
#It's much too late Just make your escape#
#Can't fight it, you can't stop it now#
#Your heart falls, don't turn around#
#All the ghosts arouse in a metal room#
#Through the streets and all over town#
#On the dirt that day They come out to play#
#Don't try to run, you can't get away#
#So, lock up your doors And don't go outside#
#But, darlin' there's nowhere to hide#
#Every scream and cry Feeds their appetite#
#All because there's a full moon A full moon tonight#
#All the ghosts arouse in a metal room#
#Through the streets and all over town#
#On the dirt that day They come out to play#
#Don't try to run, you can't get away#
#So, lock up your doors And don't go outside#
#But, darlin' there's nowhere to hide#
#Every scream and cry Feeds their appetite#
#All because there's a full moon A full moon tonight#
#Yeah#
#There's a full moon A full moon tonight#
#Yeah#
#There's a full moon A full moon tonight#