‫In this module, we're going to talk about how and what to communicate when you say no.
‫So I have seven guidelines for you, and the seven guidelines will help you in saying no and making
‫sure that, you know, is being not being perceived as a bad no, but as a good no, let's say it like
‫that.
‫So first, it's important that you make sure that you understand the request.
‫And later we go into these points in more detail.
‫Another important point is that you have to ask yourself What are your personal but also your company's
‫goals and vision?
‫It's also important that you respond relatively quickly and you have to make sure your words are non
‫defensive but clearly, clearly is important.
‫Number five of these guidelines is you have to say yes and be appreciative to the person and say no
‫to the request.
‫So you say yes to the person and no to the request and be transparent and explain your why.
‫If you explain your why, the what is easier to deal with for the requester.
‫Then number seven be as resolute as they are pushy because sometimes we will meet pushy people who want
‫you to say yes.
‫All right.
‫Let's go to the first one.
‫Understand the request.
‫So exactly what do we mean with that?
‫So hardly anyone will request or propose something without a solid reason.
‫So when they come to you and they have a request, they do that for a reason.
‫It's not just because they have too much time on their hands.
‫No, they selected you and they thought about you because you would be a solution to one of their problems
‫or something.
‫So it's meaningful to them and successful managers.
‫They take the time to understand why each request is important to the person asking, And why do we
‫do that?
‫Because it shows that we are the managers.
‫They care even if they are going to say no.
‫Total immersion in the request for even a short period of time is very important because this tells
‫something to the other person.
‫It tells the other person that you value them and what they are trying to achieve.
‫And that is, of course, what every, every requester wants to have acknowledged that they are respected.
‫So that is an important part of it, that you make sure that you listen to them carefully and immerse
‫yourself into their requests.
‫Okay.
‫Point number two was what are your or your company's goal or visions?
‫It's important to understand your objectives.
‫Your personal objectives may be departmental or your company's objectives before you can decide.
‫So successful people, they take a goal first approach.
‫So these successful managers, they have defined for themselves their major goals, and they only agree
‫with projects that work towards these goals.
‫So they will say no to all other things that are not aligned with the major goals on a personal or a
‫company level.
‫And of course, if your boss asks you something which is maybe not aligned with your major goals, you
‫have to say yes.
‫But mostly you want to think from the perspective of Does this help me to achieve my goals or objectives?
‫So adopting this practice will help you focus on what's most critical at the time, because in the end,
‫if you don't know where you want to spend your time, you won't know where you don't want to spend your
‫time.
‫And that's why sometimes people say yes to things they should have said no to, because they don't know
‫exactly where they want to spend their times because their goals are not clear.
‫So make sure that you have clear goals in your mind what you want from your personal life, business,
‫life, and what your company wants you to achieve.
‫Another point is you have to respond quickly.
‫And what do we mean with that?
‫You know, you don't want to wait too long to answer a request promptly.
‫Give a yes or no answer.
‫You know, marinating on request wastes everyone's time, because if somebody requests something of
‫you and you wait for one or two weeks, that means in that time that that project or that idea or that
‫proposal doesn't move forward because you haven't said yes or no.
‫So don't marinate too long on requests.
‫So gain more respect, making decisions in a timely manner, even if not everyone likes your choice.
‫Because sometimes people will not like your choice.
‫But that's up to them.
‫If you know why you've chosen, then that is okay.
‫Then it's important while you're saying no, that you're using non defensive but clear words.
‫So your words are non defensive, but clearly stated because in the end no one wins when a requester.
‫So the person who wants you to do something which your softly spoken know as a yes or maybe so maybe
‫you say no, but you say it so hesitant that the other person thinks, oh, that is a maybe or yes.
‫So be very clear.
‫Also important, it is not to use long detailed explanations because these long, detailed explanations
‫are usually read as defensive or confrontational.
‫So, yes, you should give an explanation, and we come to that later.
‫But it doesn't have to be very long and very detailed.
‫The answer should be strong and non-emotional and just say no clearly and smile as you say it.
‫So in the end, you want to give the person the feeling that you say yes to the person, but you say
‫no to the request.
‫So say yes and be appreciative to the person and no to the request to say no.
‫It's almost never an insult when people make requests of you.
‫You know, the thing is they are asking for your help or approval.
‫So thanked them for thinking about the request.
‫All right.
‫Point number six, be transparent.
‫It is important to be transparent and explain your why.
‫Let people understand why you respond to where you do.
‫You know, explaining the why makes the what simple to digest for people.
‫So you need to be more than just nice.
‫Being nice does not help you to see it from your perspective.
‫Share your why, share your assumptions and motivations.
‫And then, even if they are wrong, the other will have a chance to help you because maybe he or she
‫requested something of you.
‫You say no, you explain yourself.
‫And then the other person says, Oh no, but you misunderstood me.
‫I then this and this and this, and that might be maybe then yes.
‫So also giving a motivation will help the other person to understand if you're on the same line of thought.
‫All right.
‫Another point is that sometimes people are pushy and you say, no, you have to be as resolute as they
‫are pushy.
‫So some people don't give up easily and that's their right.
‫But you have to be just as pushy as they are.
‫So if they are more pushy, you are more pushy with saying, you know, another important point is establishing
‫a preemptive no.
‫So there are people who always come to you and have many requests.
‫So there are people who make repeated, sometimes difficult requests.
‫In those cases, it's better to say no before the request even comes in.
‫So if it's your boss who tends to make the requests, agree upfront about where you should be spending
‫your time.
‫So then when your boss comes with a request and the request comes in, you can refer to your earlier
‫conversations you can mention, okay, thanks for the request boss, but remember our conversation a
‫month ago.
‫My priorities are A, B and C and this is not on that list, so maybe it's a good idea.
‫You give that to somebody else.
‫So saying, no, it's not always an easy thing.
‫You have to gather your courage.
‫I understand that.
‫But it becomes easier the more often you do it, the easier it becomes, and preparing for it will help
‫you a lot.
‫So sometimes it will take courage to say no.
‫And you might feel like you're letting someone down and not living up to expectations.
‫But you have to remember, in the end, if the request doesn't fit your personal and company goals,
‫you have to say no.
‫All right, that's the end of this module.
‫Let's go into the next module.