孔普雷中央监狱 曼谷以南37英里
坚持就是胜利
混蛋 Motherfuckers!
靠 Fuck.
尼玛 Fuck!
我们快到家了 哥们 We're almost home, buddy!
喔 Whoo!
喂... Hey...
我叫艾伦 我买了头长颈鹿 My name's Alan and I bought a giraffe!
他是我的了 He's all mine!
他超友好的 He's super friendly!
哦 哇 Oh, wow.
看那头长颈鹿 Look at the giraffe.
天啊 你觉得它要去哪儿? Oh, my God. Where do you think it's going?
喔 Whoo!
哦 我的生活棒极了 我的生活棒极了 Oh, my life is great! I have a wonderful life!
限高3.8米
我的生活棒极了 I have a wonderful life!
马路杀手 无头长颈鹿使405号高速封锁
是的 先生 当然 太感谢了 不 当然 Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will. Thank you so much. No, of course.
不 不 真的太对不起了 No, no. And again, I'm so sorry.
市长打来的 艾伦 That was the mayor, Alan.
这只是场意外 It was an accident.
你说过无论我做什么你都会爱我的 You said you'd always love me no matter what I did.
对啊 你是我的最亲的人 I know and I do. You're my best friend.
可是 艾伦 你干嘛要买头长颈鹿? But, Alan, why would you buy a giraffe?
我一直想要一头 I've always wanted one.
我能在我的树屋里喂他 I could feed him from my tree house.
而且 它们让我联想到我自己 Besides, they remind me a lot of myself.
哪方面? In what way?
它们又高又大 郁郁寡欢 They're majestic, pensive and tall.
-郁郁寡欢? -是啊 -Pensive? -Yeah.
-你从哪儿学的这词? -"跟小伙伴一起记单词" -Where'd you learn that word? -"Words With Friends."
-哪个小伙伴 艾伦? -电脑随机挑的 -What friends, Alan? -You can set it on random.
艾伦 你不仅害得一条高速公路封锁了... Alan, aside from the fact that you shut down a freeway...
还害死了一只野生动物 全国都闹得沸沸扬扬 you murdered a wild animal. It's national news.
我为摆平你这件事花的银子你想都不敢想 You don't want to know the checks I had to write to fix this.
别扯了 咱们是土豪 Oh, please. We're rich.
咱们什么也不是 艾伦 We are not anything, Alan.
我生活宽裕 你是我40岁的儿子... I am well-off. You are my 40-year-old son...
42 我42岁了 Forty-two. I'm 42!
42岁还赖在家里啃老的儿子 42-year-old son who still lives at home.
你必须回去继续接受药物治疗 不然我就不给你钱花 You are to go back on your medication or I'm cutting you off.
别装了 饭好了没? You're bluffing. When's dinner?
你妈妈和我都已经忍无可忍了 Your mother and I can't take this anymore!
-你们大概还是得忍 -我不忍了 -Well, you might have to. -I can't do it!
我受不了了 I cannot do this!
艾伦 艾伦 Alan! Alan!
天啊 他的嗓音跟天使似的 My God, he's got the voice of an angel.
简直动人心弦 It's breathtaking.
我没法相信我父亲已经死了 I can't believe my daddy is dead.
有那么多人 我宁可他们比我父亲先死 I can think of so many people I would rather have died first.
比如我母亲 Like my mother.
正如你们大多数人所知... As many of you know...
我父亲和我关系很近 my father and I were extremely close.
他曾是我的人生伴侣 He was my life partner.
他经常告诉我 几乎是每天一次... He would often tell me, almost on a daily basis...
我是他最喜欢的孩子 that I was his favorite child.
我会铭记他给我的遗言: I'll always remember the last words he said to me:
"我为你自豪 艾伦 "I'm proud of you, Alan.
永远不要改变" Never change."
是啊... Well...
我听得很清楚 爸爸 I heard you loud and clear, Daddy.
我绝不改变 I will never change.
永远不会 Never, ever.
哦 妈妈 Oh, Mom.
到你了 神父 Go ahead, chief.
习德·加纳是一位受人爱戴的丈夫... Sid Garner was a beloved husband...
父亲和邻居 father and neighbor.
难熬的一天啊 Wow, rough day.
-是啊 翠西怎么样了? -不怎么好 -Yeah, how's Tracy doing? -Not great.
她妈几乎完全崩溃了 雪上加霜的是... Her mother's totally on the edge, and if all this weren't enough...
艾伦已经放弃治疗快六个月了 apparently Alan's been off his meds for almost six months.
天啊 Oh, boy.
是啊 本来就很糟了 Yeah, it has not been pretty.
-又来了这他妈一桩长颈鹿的事 -我倒觉得挺搞笑的 -Then there's the whole fucking giraffe thing. -I thought that was pretty funny.
-什么? -得了吧 他只不过搞死了一头长颈鹿 -What? -Come on. He killed a giraffe.
又不是杀人放火 Who gives a fuck?
我本来不想说什么的 可是艾伦最近一直来我办公室 You know, I wasn't gonna say anything, but Alan's been stopping by my office lately.
你搞笑呢吧 他去干嘛? You're kidding me. What for?
我不知道 他就坐在候诊室里读"天才宝宝" I don't know. He just sits in the waiting room and reads "Highlights" magazine.
填填字谜 能做多少算多少 然后离开 Fills in the puzzles, whatever he can, and then leaves.
看 Check it out.
-哇 -天啊 你准备拿他怎么办? -Wow. -Jesus, what are you gonna do with him?
其实 我正要和你们谈这件事的 Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about that.
琳达很想给他送他去疗养院 Linda really wants to stage an intervention for him.
"疗养院"? 真的假的? An intervention? Really?
我觉得听起来很不错 I think that sounds like a great idea.
是啊 不过问题是... Yeah, the thing is...
她很肯定除非我们都在场 不然他是不会同意的 she's pretty convinced he won't agree to it unless all of us are there.
你知道他什么德行的 I mean, you know how he is.
我得考虑考虑 感觉有点过 I don't know. It seems a little extreme to me.
天啊 看他现在 Oh, God. Look at him now.
好吧 算上我 什么时候? Okay, I'm in. When are we doing it?
我们今天和翠西谈过了... So we talked to Tracy today...
她说他们发现那里的医疗设施很棒 and she said that the treatment facility that they found is really nice.
环境很好 我在网上查了查 名声也不错 It's beautiful. I checked it out online. Great reputation.
那又怎样? 那鬼地方在亚利桑那 Who gives a fuck? It's in Arizona.
开两天的车就为去那鸟不拉屎的地方? We gotta go on like a two-day drive for this shit?
又来了 Here we go.
他们应该省点钱 送他去减肥训练营 They should just save their money and send him to fat camp.
-菲尔 -怎么? -Phil. -What?
他该减肥了 减完肥 找个妹子 He should lose weight. He'll find a woman.
这才是他需要的 那家伙太孤独了 That's what he needs. The dude's lonely.
要是他这么孤独 你们俩干嘛不多陪他会儿 If he's so lonely, why don't the two of you spend more time with him?
不 相信我 你不会乐意的 No, trust me, you don't want that.
不 你绝对不会乐意的 No. You definitely don't want that.
别嘛 他也没那么坏 Come on. He's not that bad.
最糟能糟到哪去呢? 纹身? I mean, what's the worst that's happened? The tattoo?
是啊 纹身是最糟的了 Yeah, the tattoo's the worst.
对吧? Right?
绝对的 纹身是最糟的了 噩梦啊 Definitely. Tattoo was the worst. Nightmare.
说到这个 你有没有去检查过? Speaking of which, you ever get tested?
什么? Excuse me?
因为墨水 You know, because of the ink.
其实指的是上一部司徒被泰国人妖爆菊的事
进入了你的身体 That went inside you.
我没事 I'm fine.
-保重 -好吧 明天好运 -Take care. -All right, good luck tomorrow.
多谢 Oh, thanks.
-我11点来接你 -好极了 -I'll pick you up at 11. -Perfect.
多谢了 Thank you so much.
谢了 Thanks.
-再次感谢你们都能来 -应该的 -Again, thank you so much for coming. -Oh, of course.
这位是尼克 尼克是艾伦的小伙伴 This is Nico. Nico is a good friend of Alan's.
-你好啊 哥们 -你好 你好 -What's up, bros? -Oh, yeah, hey.
那是布兰卡 And that's Blanca.
布兰卡从艾伦还是个婴儿的时候就跟我们一起了 Blanca's been with us since Alan was a baby.
-你好 -你好 -Hello. -Hello.
这是提摩西 提摩西住在街对面 And this is Timothy. Timothy lives across the street.
他和艾伦一起游泳 He and Alan swim together.
-嘿 怎么样啊 小伙子? -挺好 -Hey, what's up, little man? -Hey.
-大家坐吧? -好啊 -Why don't you guys take a seat? -Yeah.
翠西和艾伦一起在回来的路上 Tracy's on her way back with Alan right now.
显然 他对此一无所知 所以气氛可能会有点紧张 Obviously, he has no idea this is coming, so things might get a little intense.
但是 无论发生什么 记住: But, no matter what happens, remember:
这都是为了艾伦好 This is all about Alan getting better.
老妈 我要雪顶奥利奥 现在就要 Mother, Oreo smoothie, now!
哦 Oh.
-嘿 大家好 -嘿 -Hey, everyone. -Hey.
嘿 提摩西 现在去游泳是不是有点冷了? Hey, Timothy. Little cold for a swim, isn't it?
哇 你今天去码头了 怎么样? Oh, wow. Look. You went to the pier today. How was that?
-我们玩得不错 -是啊 -We had a great time. -Yeah.
我在电玩城玩了大概45分钟 累坏了 I played skee ball for, like, 45 minutes. It was a pretty sick workout.
怎么回事? What's going on?
呃 先坐下来吧 哥们? 我们只是想和你谈一谈 Uh, ahem, why don't you have a seat, bud? We just want to talk to you for a sec.
好吧 Okay.
-嘿 菲尔 -嘿 好诶 -Hey, Phil. -Hey. Yeah.
-好诶 -这是干嘛呢到底? -Yeah. -What's going on?
好吧 被你耍了 Oh, you got me.
这样的 艾伦... So, Alan...
我们都在这 是为了告诉你一个酷毙了的地方... we're all here to tell you about an awesome place...
叫"新视界" called New Horizons.
是听起来挺酷的 That does sound awesome.
艾伦 这是个疗养院 Alan, this is an intervention.
什么? A what?
妈妈 Mom.
艾伦 Alan.
"我很爱你 我们都爱你 "I love you so much. We all do.
但是我们不能再自欺欺人了 But we can't keep lying to each other.
自从你出生 我只想..." Ever since you were a baby, all I want... "
天啊 没人觉得这很无聊吗? Oh, my God, is anybody else falling asleep?
艾伦 听着 Alan, listen.
-不是我说 老妈 但你实在太无聊了 -艾伦先生 -No offense, Mom, but you're boring. -Mr. Alan.
你也来凑热闹? Oh, now you?
"我服侍了你30年 "I pick up after you for 30 years.
我替你打扫屋子 我看到了谁也不该看到的东西 I cleaned your room. I see things no one should ever see.
但是我依旧为你祈祷 But I pray for you.
-艾伦先生 大家..." -嘿 -Mr. Alan, everyone... " -Hey.
-把它擦干净 -艾伦 -Someone should clean that up. -Alan.
艾伦 你状态很不好 Alan. You are not well.
你放弃了治疗 现在明显很困扰你的家人 You're off your meds and you're clearly upsetting your whole family.
-胡说八道 -艾伦 要是你答应... -That's baloney. -Alan, if you say yes to this...
我们今天就开车送你去 我保证你回来以后脱胎换骨 we drive you there today, and I promise you will come back a changed man.
什么我们? 什么意思 "我们"? 我们是谁? Who's we? What do you mean, "we"? Who's we?
我们 我们所有人 司徒 菲尔 还有我和你 We. All of us. Stu, Phil, me, you.
你也去 菲尔? You going, Phil?
我爱你 艾伦 I love you, Alan.
嘿 艾伦 饿了吗? Hey, Alan, you hungry?
要不要吃麦当劳? You wanna get some Arby's?
不用了 谢谢 No, thanks.
我早就想跟你说了 你那件背心酷毙了 You know, I meant to tell you earlier, that's a really cool vest you got on.
谢了 菲尔 是我爸的 Thanks, Phil. It was my dad's.
他穿着这件死的 He died in it.
哇 Whoa.
够给力的 That's intense.
嘿 艾伦 你做得真的很勇敢 我们为你自豪 Hey, Alan, just want to say what you're doing is really brave. We're proud of you.
是啊 你会没事的 Yeah, you're gonna do great.
停车 我不干了 Stop the car. I don't want to do this anymore.
-什么? -我改变主意了 -What? -I changed my mind.
艾伦 你不能改变主意 大家都看好你呢 Alan, you can't change your mind. Everybody's counting on you.
我这样就挺好 我要回家 I'm fine just the way I am. I want to go home.
立刻掉头 求你了 我不想... Turn the car around. Now, please! I don't...
这他妈什么意思? What the fuck was that?
-天啊 他故意的 -快别挡他的路 -Oh, my God! He's doing it on purpose! -Get out of his way!
我知道 我知道 I am, I am.
-嘿 嘿 快他妈滚开 -你得跟他好好交流 -Hey! Hey, get the fuck off! -You have to exchange information.
-为什么? -天啊 菲尔 -Why? -Jesus. Phil!
-菲尔 菲尔 -妈的 -Phil! Phil! -Oh, shit!
-离他远点儿 -我尽力了 -Get away from him! -I'm trying!
-当心 -妈的 -Look out! -Oh, shit!
妈的 妈的 AW, shit! Oh, shit.
妈的 Shit!
快 快 快 Go, go, go!
锁门 道格 锁门 Lock your doors! Doug, lock your doors!
靠 怎么回事? Shit! What's going on?
他妈的... 等等 Get the fuck... Hang on!
-救命 -放手 他妈的混蛋 -Help! -Let go, fucking asshole!
-司徒 我们没事 -我们在电梯里 -Stu! We're okay. -We're in an elevator!
你在哪儿? Where are you?
这到底怎么回事? What the fuck is going on?
求你了 这是个天大的误会 Please, this is a huge mistake.
你们抓错人了 You got the wrong guys!
我他妈的抓的就是你们 I got the right fucking guys!
拎他起来 拎他起来 把他放这儿 Get him up. Pick him up. Put him here.
你是黑道格 那是黑道格 You're Black Doug! That's Black Doug!
不许这么叫我 把嘴闭上 Shut the fuck up with that. Shut the fuck up.
天啊 的确是 Oh, my God. It is.
艾伦 快告诉我 黑道格绑我们干什么? Alan, tell me right now, why is Black Doug kidnapping us?
-我都说了他妈不准那么叫我 -抱歉 -I said don't call me that shit no more. -Sorry.
-不是艾伦的问题 -多谢啊 黑道格 -It ain't Alan's fault. -Thank you, Black Doug.
-他妈的 -道格 -Motherfucker! -Doug!
道格 Doug!
-就叫道格 好不好? -好 -Just Doug, okay? -Yeah.
你为什么这么做? Why are you doing this?
因为... Because...
我命令的 I told him to.
我是马歇尔 I'm Marshall.
也许你们不知道... And whether you know it or not...
我们有一些共同点 we all have something in common.
这要从4年前这个弱智给这个傻逼卖错了药... And it all started four years ago when this moron...
开始讲起 sold the wrong drugs to this dumb fuck.
你们完全不了解那天晚上在那该死酒水店的停车场里的事 You have no idea the chain of events that were set in motion that night...
引发了多大的蝴蝶效应 in the parking lot of a fucking liquor store.
怎么样啊 黑鬼? What up, nigga?
你说什么? Excuse me?
放松 我不是条子 就是来镇上过夜的 Chill out, I'm not a cop. Just in town for the night.
我和我哥们想找点刺激 Me and my boys looking to get our freak on.
你把迷药卖给艾伦 You sold Alan roofies.
哦 妈的 我当时肯定弄混包装了 Oh, shit. I must've mixed up the bags.
我的错 艾伦 My fault, Alan.
该死 马歇尔这次肯定饶不了我 Damn. Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one.
马歇尔? Marshall?
你就是马歇尔 You're Marshall.
就因为那件事你把我们带到这鬼地方? You brought us out here because of that?
不是因为那件事 You're not here because of that.
是因为有个不知从哪冒出来的中国佬跑到我的地盘撒野 You're here because some Chinaman I never heard of strolls into my town...
还带走我的手下 and takes one of my guys off the street.
-周先生? -对 -Mr. Chow? -Yes.
就是他妈的莱斯利·周先生 Yes, Mr. Leslie fucking Chow.
是你让他这颗老鼠屎搅进了我的生活 You introduced a virus into my life.
哦 天 他都做了些什么? Oh, God, what did he do?
他爆了我的菊花 He fucked me in the ass.
哦 这事他常做 Oh, he does that from time to time.
不是真的爆菊 Not literally.
天 Jesus!
你那烂事发生过去几周之后 我收到消息... A few weeks after your bullshit, I get word...
有位阿拉伯酋长从阿布达比来 this sheik is coming in from Abu Dhabi.
他想做几笔不怎么合法的买卖 He was looking to make some less-than-legal investments.
他带着两个老婆... He brought his two wives...
还有价值四千二百万美元的金条 and $42 million in gold bars.
这一票截得易如反掌 It was a lay-up.
趴下 趴下 Get down! Get down!
我们劫走了全部金条 We took it all.
两辆车 每辆装着价值两千一百万的金条 Two vans, each with 21 million in gold.
我的人兵分两路 My guys split up.
一队顺利回来了... One of them made it back...
另一队却没有 one of them didn't.
有问题吗 长官? Is there a problem, officer?
没有了 混蛋玩意 Not anymore, motherfucker.
莱斯利·周偷了我两千一百万美元... Leslie Chow stole $21 million from me...
还是在周二 on a Tuesday.
哦 天啊 Oh, God.
我到处找他 I looked everywhere for him.
但他人间蒸发了 But he's gone, no one can find him.
直到有一天这混蛋在曼谷被抓了 Until the little cockroach got himself pinched in Bangkok.
我去监狱看他 So I pay him a visit.
给他开了个条件 I offer him a truce.
如果他告诉我金条的下落 I won't touch a hair on his head.
我不会碰他一根头发 I just want him to tell me where my gold is.
他不肯说话 He refuses to talk.
不仅不跟我说话... Not only does he refuse to talk to me...
跟外面的所有人都没有交流... he has no communication with anyone from the outside...
除了你 except you!
喂... Hey...
凭什么打我 It's unfair!
艾伦 你和周还有联络? Alan, you been talking to Chow?
-他们经常通信 -嘿 那是我的隐私 -They've been writing letters. -Hey, those are private!
"亲爱的莱斯利 麦当劳又卖烤汁猪排堡了 "Dear Leslie, OMG, the McRib is back!
真不明白为什么被停卖那么久?" Why was it ever gone?"
就是说啊 Exactly!
"亲爱的艾伦 今天我把尿撒到监狱看守身上 "Dear Alan, I threw urine on prison guard today.
然后嫁祸给了室友 真希望你也在这儿" Blamed it on cellmate. Wish you were here."
是啊 我多希望我在场 Yeah, I wish I could've seen that.
一封又一封的废话... Letter after letter of total nonsense...
除了一条线索: except for one common thread:
你们几个 You guys!
狼帮四少 The wolf pack.
额滴神啊 艾伦 Jesus Christ, Alan.
五周以前 周从安全级别最高的监狱逃了出来 Five weeks ago, Chow escaped from maximum security detention.
靠 Oh, fuck.
他偷偷藏在一艘货船里偷渡到了西海岸 He stowed aboard a shipping freighter bound for the West Coast.
-他在哪? -我不知道 -Where is he? -I don't know.
艾伦 你要是知道他在哪 现在立刻告诉他 Alan, if you know where he is, you tell this man right now.
菲尔 我发誓不知道 几个月我都没收到他的信儿了 Phil, I don't know, I swear. I haven't talked to him in months.
看来是要吃罚酒了 We gotta do it the hard way.
-不 -要干什么? 嘿 -Oh, no! -What the fuck? Hey!
-我们走 -嘿 不 在搞什么? -Let's go. -Hey! No! No! What the fuck?
你们干什么? Whoa, what are you doing?
道格是人质 我把他带走了 Doug is my insurance. He stays with me.
你们把周给我带来 要不然我爆了他的头 You don't give me Chow, I blow his brains out.
你们报警的话... You go to the cops...
我也会爆了他的头 I blow his brains out.
疯了吧你 我们怎么会知道他在哪 That's insane! We don't even know where the fuck he is!
没人知道 No one does.
但我想 要是有人能找到他 一定是狼帮四少 But I figure the wolf pack has the best chance of finding him.
你们有三天的时间 You have three days.
快去吧 Get to work.
能不能换成司徒? Can you take Stu instead?
去你的 艾伦 Fuck you, Alan.
妈的 Shit.
妈的 Shit!
-艾伦 -怎么了 菲尔? -Alan. -Yeah, Phil?
我需要你滚过来帮我咬开手上的绳子 I need you to roll over here and chew off these hand-ties.
好 Okay.
-哦 -该死 -Oh. -Damn it!
妈的 Ow. Oh, fuck!
-不小心多滚了一圈 -别压着我 -Got a little too much steam. -Get off me.
好吧 我晃下来 All right, let me just shimmy down.
-你能不能别乱动? 别动 -啊 -Would you just hold still? Hold still! -Ow.
救命啊 Help!
真他妈的 Holy shit.
我们该怎么做 司徒? What are we gonna do, Stu?
-我们得报警 -报什么警 不能报警 -We're gonna go to the police. -Oh, no, we're fucking not.
你听到他说的了吧? Did you hear that guy?
他会杀了道格 句号 He will kill Doug, period.
周真是个老鼠屎 Chow is a cancer.
从我们认识他开始就祸害我们 He's been a cancer since the first day we met him.
我们把他交给马歇尔 这样就行了 We're gonna hand him over to this guy Marshall and then it's done.
-嘿 菲尔 -艾伦 等会 -Hey, Phil. -Alan, not now.
我需要你 司徒 我一个人做不到 But I need you, Stu. I can't do this alone.
一个人做什么? 我们根本不知道他在哪 Do what alone? We have no idea where he even is.
-菲尔 -怎么了 艾伦? -Phil. -What, Alan?
我一直想告诉你 前几天我收到了一封奇怪的邮件 I was gonna say I got this strange e-mail the other day.
当时我不知道什么意思 不过现在想来很可能是周发的 I wasn't sure what it meant, but now I think it might be from Chow.
"胖子 外边的世界真美好 "Fatty, it feels good to be out.
我去找你 别告诉别人 保持联络 I'm close by. Tell no one. I'll be in touch.
周" Chow."
这写着"周" 你怎么能不知道是周发的? This says "Chow." How did you not know this was from Chow?
那时候我以为"周"是西语里"再见"的意思呢 At the time, I thought it was "Chow" like "goodbye."
就像意大利语里的"再见"一样 You know, like, "Chow, arrivederci."
-从意大利来的还有胜百诺 棒约翰 -我给他回信 -You know, Sbarro, Papa John's. -I'm writing him back.
等等 先等一下 Whoa, wait, wait. Just hold on.
告诉他你很高兴他出来了 很想见他 Gonna tell him you're happy he's out and you'd love to see him.
喔 我确实很想见他 Ooh, I would love to see him.
你知道现在什么情况吗? Do you even know what's going on?
我知道 菲尔在忙活着 我在协助他... Yes, I do. Phil's doing all the work, I'm his assistant...
-而你却傻站着 -我跟他安排碰个面... -you're standing there looking like an idiot. -I'm gonna arrange a meeting...
-然后把他拿下 -"拿下"? -and we're gonna take him out. -"Take him out"?
我们要怎么把他拿下? Who says that? How do we take someone out?
给他下药 We'll use drugs.
处方药 Prescription drugs.
那些牙医可以开的药 You know, the kind a dentist has access to.
希望你能找到一个牙医给你们开假处方 Good luck finding a dentist who will write fake prescriptions.
哦 已经找到了 他叫司徒·布莱斯 Oh, I know one. His name is Stuart Price.
现在我们去找家药房吧 Now let's go find a fucking pharmacy.
喔 你尝到厉害了吧 小子 Whoo! You just got schooled, son.
你来不来? Are you coming or not?
我觉得这个计划不好 I don't like this plan.
好吧 那再见了 Okay, then. Ciao.
我特么太有幽默感了 哥们 I got a pretty dope sense of humor, bro!
处方药
这么大剂量加上注射器太可疑了 去看看 This amount with syringes is just weird. Go check it out.
有什么问题吗? Everything okay?
你要的这些太奇怪了 Well, it's just a strange request.
这么大剂量的药物 和一包注射器 This drug in this amount and a pack of syringes.
-有些可疑啊 -嗯 -It's just a little weird. -Yeah.
是个紧急情况... It's just kind of an emergency, so...
奇怪的药方 慌张的神情 再加上你狼狈的样子 See, that right there, and you're acting all fidgety, plus you look like shit...
这些对我们来说都是危险信号 in our business, these are all red flags.
我得给你的医生打个电话 证实一下 I need to call the doctor, make sure everything's okay.
啊哈 你真走运 因为我就是开处方的那个医生 Aha. You're in luck, because I actually am the prescribing doctor.
天啊 又一个危险信号 Oh, boy. Another red flag.
上面写着你是个牙医 It says here you're a dentist.
对 牙科医生 Yeah. Doctor of Dental Science.
这简直是胡闹 This is fucked up.
嘿 老爸? Hey, Dad?
我碰到了一个活生生的瘾君子 I think we got a live one.
怎么样了? How'd we do?
很好 我拿到了杜冷丁 注射器... We did good. I got Demerol, a pack of syringes...
还差点丢了我的牙医资格证 and almost lost my dental license.
-有周的消息吗? -还没有 -What about Chow? Anything? -No.
看看这个 他大约20分钟前给我发了邮件 Oh, look at this. He e-mailed me like 2O minutes ago.
艾伦 我们已经在这儿坐了... Alan, we've been sit...
赶紧把电话给我 Give me the phone, please.
-他说什么了? -哇 -What does it say? -Oh, wow.
他想8点和艾伦见面 要艾伦一个人去 He wants to meet Alan tonight at 8. It says come alone.
-去哪见面? -一个车站 -Come alone where? -A bus stop.
在提华纳(墨西哥西北部城市) In Tijuana.
提华纳超赞的 Tijuana's the bomb.
哦 妈的 Oh, fuck.
不 这简直完美 那地方离这里大概只有三小时车程 No, that's perfect. No, it's like a three-hour drive from here.
是啊 司徒 看看地图再说话 Yeah, Stu, try reading a map.
艾伦 你自己邮件都读不好还有脸说我 Yeah, Alan, try reading anything ever.
是啊 司徒 说话的时候把你那大板牙收收 Yeah, Stu, try not having such big horse teeth.
好了 我们计划一下 All right, we need a plan.
他们要在一个公共车站的长椅那见面... They're meeting on a bus bench in a public place...
艾伦要说服周去一个隐蔽点的地方 so Alan needs to convince Chow to go someplace more private.
一个我们可以偷偷靠近他给他下药的地方 Someplace where we can sneak up on him and drug him.
比如哪里? Like where?
不知道 小巷什么的吧 I don't know, like an alley.
电影院怎么样? What about a movie theater?
靠 这个主意还真不错 Fuck, that's actually a great idea.
灯光一灭... The lights go down...
我们去他后面一排 给他来一针 就搞定了 we take the seats behind him, we jab him and it's fucking done.
我来给他打针吧 我以前给别人下过药 I'll jab him if you want. I've drugged people before.
是啊 给我们下过 Yeah, us.
没别的意思 不过我们不会让你再碰药物了 No offense, but we're not letting you handle any drugs.
你会弄出人命的 You'll kill someone.
拜托 我可是行家 Oh, please, I'm an expert.
还记得在泰国吃的棉花糖吗? Remember the marshmallows in Thailand?
怎么? Yeah?
我减小了剂量 得吃三颗以上才会致命 I made it so you could eat at least three before hitting a fatal dose.
等等 Wait.
你的意思是 如果我吃了四颗就会死翘翘? So you're saying I would've died if I had had four?
没人能吃四颗棉花糖的 司徒 Nobody eats four marshmallows, Stu.
就因为这狗屁理论 我才活到现在? That insane theory is the only reason I'm still alive?
是的 顺便说一句 不用谢 Yes! And you're welcome, by the way.
你差点杀了我 还有脸说"不用谢" Don't say "you're welcome" for almost killing me.
-好吧 -谢谢 -Fine. -Thank you.
-不用谢 -该死 -You're welcome. -Goddamn it!
距提华纳市 52英里
墨西哥
提华纳 世界旅游之都
哦 天啊 Oh, God.
你是对的 You know, you were right.
对什么? About what?
去亚利桑那州的那个疗养院 对他根本没用 That place in Arizona. It's not gonna help him.
没有地方能够治好这家伙 There is no facility that can fix this guy.
我们下辈子得一直琢磨着怎么对付他... We're gonna spend the rest of our lives dealing with him...
因为我们是他的全部了 because we're all he has now.
明白了吗? 我们别无选择 You realize that? We're it.
我靠 快看 Oh, shit, check it out.
是周吗? Is that Chow?
嘿 胖子 Hey, fat stuff.
-莱斯利 -打住 -Leslie. -Uh-uh-uh.
-淡定点 往前看 -好吧 -Act cool. Eyes forward. -Yeah, okay.
-有人跟踪你吗? -我没发现 -Anyone follow you? -No, I don't think so.
很好 很好 Good, good.
哥得保持低调 因为哥是通缉犯 Gotta keep low profile right now. Chow wanted man.
谁也不能信 Can't trust anyone.
快点 啵儿我一下 快 快 快 Quick, give me some sugar. Come on, come on, come on.
搞什么? What the fuck?
他亲了他? Did he just kiss him?
听着 我现在遇到点麻烦 艾伦 Listen, I'm in a bit of a pickle, Alan.
-我需要一个小伙伴 -我就是你的小伙伴 莱斯利 -I need a friend. -Well, I'm your friend, Leslie.
完全正确 这就是我为什么叫你出来 Exactly. That's why I called you down here.
你是这世上我唯一能相信的人 You're the only person I can trust in this shit-hole of a life.
不是这样的 司徒和菲尔也是你的小伙伴 That's not true. Stu and Phil are your friends.
哦 是吗? Oh, really?
有意思 That's interesting.
他们在哪? Where are they?
-在附近 -附近哪里? -Around. -Around where?
我不知道 I don't know.
-狗娘养的 我让你一个人来 -莱斯利 -Motherfucker! I told you to come alone! -Leslie.
靠 Shit.
-怎么了? -他要走了吗? -What happened? -Is he leaving?
我们再聊会儿 我再啵儿你一个 We'll talk more! I'll give you another kiss!
他朝我们过来了 He's coming this way.
趴下 趴下 Get down. Get down.
-靠 -莱斯利 -Fuck. -Leslie!
哦 草 Oh, fuck.
-从车里滚出来 混蛋 -莱斯利 别这样 -Get out of the car, you mutts! -Leslie, no!
-放开我 死胖子 -周 周 别冲动 -Get off me, fat clown! -Chow! Chow, calm down!
-谁派你们来的? -没人 没有人 -Who sent you? -No one! No.
-我们只是想见你 -骗子 没人想见周 -We just wanted to see you! -Liar! No one wants to see Chow!
我们想... 我们想你了 No, we... we miss you.
-神马? -我们想你了 周 -What? -We miss you, Chow!
-就是这样 -对 -That's it. -Yeah.
我们想你了 We miss you.
你们想我了? You miss me?
很想 So much.
你想周 You miss Chow.
没错 哥们 Yeah, buddy.
我们爱你 周 We love you, Chow.
我他妈在看些什么啊? What the fuck am I watching?
-够了吗? -够了 -Is that gonna be enough? -Oh, yeah.
大概一分钟起效 我们可以告诉服务员他喝醉了 This will take about a minute to kick in. We'll tell the waitress he's drunk.
等我们到车里的时候 他会彻底失去知觉 By the time we get to the car, he'll be out cold.
艾伦 坐下 Alan, sit down.
唱得真好 周 That was really nice, Chow.
谢了 菲尔 Thanks, Phil.
关键是要用心唱 The key is to sing from your heart.
墨西哥是个好地方啊? 你在这里做什么? So Mexico, huh? What are you doing down here?
打炮 吹箫 老样子 老样子 You know, fucking, doing blow. Same old, same old.
喔 我还迷上斗鸡 Ooh, I got into cockfighting.
-哦 斗鸡 听起来很不错 -没错 -Oh, cockfighting. That sounds wonderful. -Yes.
基本上来说 我在这爽翻天了 Basically, been killing it down here.
那样真不错 对吧? That is just terrific. Right?
我是说 那样很不错 我觉得我们得干一杯 I mean, that's terrific. I think that calls for a toast.
好主意 I like that.
-为爽翻天干杯 -干杯 -To killing it. -Killing it.
没错 为爽翻天干杯 Yeah, to killing it.
嗯 Mm.
你还好吗 周? You okay, Chow?
我不知道 不如你来告诉我 I don't know. You tell me.
你有多少公鸡 周? So how many rooster birds do you have, Chow?
-啊 -嗯? -Aah! -Huh?
-嘘 不准动 否则我割开他的脖子 -天啊 -Shh. Act cool or I open his vein. -Oh, my God.
你们为什么要给可怜的周下药? Why you wanna drug poor Chow?
不是 不是 不是你想的那样 有个人叫马歇尔 No, no. It's not what you think. There's this guy Marshall.
马歇尔? 你们怎么认识那个死胖子的? Marshall? How you know that fat fuck?
他说你拿了他的金条 他抓了道格 He says you took his gold. He's got Doug.
除非我们带你回去 否则他就要杀了道格 He'll kill him unless we bring you back.
这是真的 我发誓 这是真的 It's true! I swear to God, it's true!
周 周 这是真的 Chow. Chow, that's the truth.
去他妈的 God damn it!
那个混蛋 That motherfucker.
司徒 你还好吗? Stu, you okay?
-你还好吗? -不好 -You all right? -No.
对不起 周 We're sorry, Chow.
对不起 We're sorry.
-我们不知道还能做什么 -下次别对周撒谎 -We didn't know what else to do. -Next time, don't lie to Chow.
说得对 你说得非常正确 我们犯了一个巨大的错误 You're right. You are so right, and we made a huge mistake.
那么 我们现在该怎么办? So, what do we do now?
那得视情况而定 That depends.
我能相信你们吗? Can I trust you?
这是哪里 周? What is this place, Chow?
我家 My house.
周曾经是这世上首屈一指的土豪 Chow used to be on top of the world.
他有三套别墅分别位于三个不同的国家 Had three beautiful homes in three different countries.
但这一套 我在墨西哥的别墅... But this one, my Mexican villa...
是我的最爱 this was my favorite.
但一切全他妈完了 And everything got fucked.
周进了监狱 我所有的财产都被没收了 Chow go to prison, all my property seized.
我的房子... My homes...
则拍卖给了出价最高的买家 sold at auction to highest bidders.
但我知道一些别人不知道的事 But I know something no one else knows.
这套房子就是我藏金条的地方 This house is where I stashed the gold.
-马歇尔的金条? -没错 -Marshall's gold? -Yep.
藏在地下室的墙里 Hid it inside the basement wall.
没人知道那里有金条 No one knows it's there.
我们得去把金条拿出来 We're gonna go get it.
等等 你是说要破门而入? Wait. You mean break in?
听着 马歇尔想要他的金条 Look, Marshall wants his gold.
他会一直追捕我直到他拿到他的金条 And he's gonna hunt me down until he gets it.
如果我们见到他时拿不出金条 他肯定会杀了我 If we show up without it, he'll kill me.
我们不做破门而入的事 We're not breaking in anywhere.
不是破门而入 司徒 是去我家 Not anywhere, Stu. My house.
这很简单 It's a piece of cake.
我对这地方了如指掌 I know every square inch of this place.
最妙的是 房子的主人甚至都不知道金条就在那里 The best part, the guy we're stealing it from doesn't even know it's there.
所以他也永远不会知道金条消失了 So he'll never know it's gone.
你们都知道要做什么 对吧? You guys know what's going on, right?
你什么意思? What do you mean?
如果我说错了请纠正我 我们不会闯入这套房子 Well, and please correct me if I'm wrong, we're not breaking into this house.
这套房子太小了 This house is too small.
我们要闯入另一套房子 这就是个模型 对吧 周? We're breaking into another house. This is just a model, right, Chow?
什么? 艾伦 不 What? Alan, no!
我的鸡 My chickens!
该死的 Oh, shit!
周 这他妈怎么回事? Chow, what the fuck?
小心爪子 它们受过训练 很凶猛 Watch out for the claws! They're trained to kill!
他的嘴好锋利 His beak is so sharp!
噢 噢 Ow! Ow!
-他妈的 -别动 我来帮你们 -Oh, fuck! -Stay still, I'm trying to help.
-别开枪 -给我下去 -Don't! -Get it off!
-真他妈的一枪一个准 -你疯了吗? -Fucking bull's-eye! -Are you out of your mind?
打死它 打死它 打死它 Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it!
司徒 开窗 Stu, the window!
-把它丢出去 -好的 好的 -Get it out! -Okay, okay!
丢出去 Get it out!
嘘 嘘 嘘 Shh, shh, shh.
别挣扎了 就这样去吧 Don't struggle. Let go.
你赢了很多次 华莱士 You won a lot of fights, Wallace.
但这次你赢不了的 Not this time.
-这些鸡他妈的怎么回事? -他们很暴躁 -What the fuck is wrong with those chickens? -They're angry.
我只给他们喂海洛因 All I feed them is cocaine
和鸡肉 and chicken.
这套房子真不错 周 That's some house, Chow.
它是我的香格里拉 可惜现在不是我的了 It was my Shangri-La. Now it's gone.
你能别在我的车里吐痰吗? 我了个去 Could you not spit inside my minivan, please? Jesus.
现在谁住在那里? Who lives there now?
一个网络公司的百万富翁 他从来不住这里 Some dot-com millionaire. He's never here.
这只是个度假用的房子 This is a vacation home.
管家在星期天从不出现 The help doesn't show up on Sundays.
除了看门狗没人在那里 司徒? No one there but the guard dogs. Stu?
我们把汉堡丢进门里 等着杜冷丁起作用 We'll toss these burgers over the gate, wait for the Demerol to kick in.
多放点 得把狗杀死 Make sure you put in enough to kill them.
我们不会杀狗 周 We're not gonna kill the dogs, Chow.
这会让它们昏睡几小时 This will knock them out for hours.
哦 不好意思 我忘了你在善待动物组织工作过 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you worked for PETA.
-真娘们 -哈哈哈 -What a pussy. -Ha-ha-ha.
艾伦 拿着这个 Alan, take that.
啊 Aah!
-你要去哪里? -你会知道的 -Where are you going? -You'll see.
对不起了 小蠢蛋 Pardon me, little loser.
原谅我 小混蛋 Excuse me, fucking asshole.
跟我来 Follow me.
好 情况是这样的: 里面有两个安全面板 Okay, here's the deal: two security panels inside.
如果你剪断一根线 它就会拉响警报 If you cut only one wire, it triggers alarm.
警察就会蜂拥而至 Place will be crawling with cops.
但如果你同时剪断两个面板的线 警报就会失灵 But if you cut wire on both panels at same time, alarm disabled.
但我们没破坏警报 怎么才能进去呢? Yeah, but how are we gonna get inside without tripping the alarm?
试试这个 Check this out.
-还有其他愚蠢的问题吗? -哇 -Any more stupid questions? -Whoa.
现在 谁和我一起去? Now, who's coming with me?
我来 I'll do it.
你来告诉他? You wanna tell him?
哦 嗯... Oh, um...
艾伦 你太胖了 Alan, you're just too fat.
收到 Roger that.
噢 啊 OW. Ahh.
你踢到我了 你个混蛋 You kicked me, you motherfucker.
别 别 别站起来 会碰到动作检测器的 No, no, no. Don't get up. Will trip motion detectors.
趴下就像狗一样 Stay low like dog.
好的 好主意 Okay. Good idea.
-哪边? -在厨房里 -Which way? -In there. The kitchen.
啊 你他妈在干什么? Aah! What the fuck is that?
哈哈 我在问你好啊 我们是狗 不记得了吗? Ha, ha. I'm saying hello. We're dogs, remember?
嘿 司徒? Hey, Stu?
试试这个 Check it out.
天啊 太恶心啦 Oh, my God! So gross!
天啊 周 别恶心我了 God! Chow, cut it out!
好了 我到了 Okay, I'm here.
现在怎么做? Now what?
把盖子拿掉 然后就能看到线了 Pull the cover off so you can see the wires.
好的 Okay.
好的 拿掉了 Okay. Done!
好的 数到三 剪断灰色的线 Okay, on three, cut the gray wire.
一 二... One, two...
等等 等等 等等 Wait. Wait, wait, wait!
我这里没有灰色的线 只有红色的 绿色的和黄色的 I don't have a gray wire. I have red, green and yellow.
真奇怪 我有浅灰色 灰色 深灰色 That's weird. I have light gray, medium gray, dark gray.
真的? You do?
混蛋 Motherfucker.
我的错 我是色盲 My bad. I'm colorblind.
你是什么? You're what?
尼玛 就剪中间那根 Fuck it, just cut the middle one.
不行 我的中间那根可能和你不一样 No, my middle one could be different.
这些线都缠在一起 The wires are all twisted.
-数到三 一 二... -周 别剪 -On three. One, two... -Chow, stop!
天啊 God.
等一下 我去找你 Hold on, I'm coming to you.
怎么他妈的这么久还没好? What the fuck's taking them so long?
你在哪里买的这件T恤 在迪赛专卖店买的? Where'd you get that shirt, the Diesel store?
菲尔 Phil.
什么? What?
这件上衣很好看 你在哪里买的? It's a cute top. Where did you get that shirt?
怎么了? What's the problem?
指给我看你想让我剪的那根线 Just point to the wire you want me to cut.
-这根灰色的 -好的 -This gray one right here. -Great.
仅供参考 这是绿色的 For your information, that's green.
噢 啧 啧 啧 Ooh, tsk, tsk, tsk.
哪根是红色的? Which one's red?
你左手边的那根 The one in your left hand.
等等 那是哪只手? 我左右不分 Wait, which hand is that? I'm also dyslexic.
你他妈的在耍我 What the fuck?
你在哪买的? Where'd you get it?
不知道 我回去看看 然后给你买一件 I don't know. I'll find out, I'll get you one.
在我喜欢去的商场里有一家很棒的迪赛专卖店 There's a cool Diesel store in the mall that I like to go to.
就在就餐区的边上 Right next to the food court.
我不知道这是不是迪赛的 I don't know if it's Diesel.
看上去像是迪赛的 Looks like a Diesel.
你怎么回事? What's the matter with you?
好了 你还拿着那根我指给你的线 对吧? Okay, you're still holding the one I left you with, right?
拿着呢 嘿嘿 Pretty much. Heh, heh.
尼玛 Oh, fuck.
好了 数到三 All right. On three!
一... One...
二... two...
三 three.
报警系统已解除
天啊 成功了 Holy shit, it worked.
一切顺利? All good?
-超简单 -好的 -Easy peasy. -All right.
你根本不知道有多麻烦 You have no idea.
来吧 Come on.
哎呀 Whoops.
-天啊 小心点 周 -哈哈 -Jesus, be careful, Chow. -Ha, ha.
这家伙真他妈操蛋 Fuck this guy.
住在我的房子里 过我的生活 Living in my house. Living my life.
我们能按计划来吗? Can we just stick to the plan?
好 Fine.
哈哈 毁了 Ha, ha. Ruined.
他完全不受控制了 He is completely out of control.
赶紧把这事办完吧 Let's just get this done.
这里 跟上 跟上 This way. Come on, come on.
就埋在这堵墙的后面 It's buried behind this wall.
-艾伦 -给你 老大 -Alan. -Here you go, boss.
啊 Aah!
该死的 Fuck!
-你还好吗? -我没事 -You okay? -Yeah, I'm okay.
先热热身 Just warming up.
它太重了 有轻一点的吗? It's so heavy. Do we have a lighter one?
-不如让我来 周? -好吧 反正都一样 -Why don't you just let me do it, Chow? -Okay. Either way, you or me. Same thing.
把衣服脱了怎么样 更容易些 You might wanna take your shirt off. Makes it easier.
-什么? -我也这么觉得 -What? -I've heard that too.
看到了吗? 周为了你们回来了 See that? Chow come back for you.
这是最后一块了 That's the last of it.
你确定? You sure?
-确定 -你百分之三百确定? -Yeah. -You triple sure?
-确定 -好的 嘿嘿嘿 -Yes! -Good! Heh-heh-heh.
周? Chow?
周 Chow!
周 马上把这扇该死的门打开 Chow, open this fucking door right now!
周 Chow!
司徒·布莱斯 Stuart Price.
无重罪记录 一次被捕记录: No felonies. One arrest:
在内华达州拉斯维加斯 Las Vegas, Nevada.
菲尔·维奈克 Phil Wenneck.
无重罪记录 一次被捕记录: No felonies. One arrest:
也是在内华达州拉斯维加斯 Also Las Vegas, Nevada.
爱伦·加纳 Alan Garner.
这个档案准确吗? Is this record accurate?
呃 Uh-huh.
是我干的 嗯 I did that. Mm-hm.
没错 Yeah.
在市区公交车上打飞机 对 是我干的 Masturbating on a city bus. Yep, that was me.
我们已经在这呆了五个小时了 Look, we've been here for 5 hours.
我们已经将一切都告诉你们了 We already told your guys everything.
不 No.
你只给他们讲了一个小中国佬的故事 You told them a story about a little Chinese man.
莱斯利·周 他是个国际通缉犯 你可以查查 Leslie Chow. He's an international criminal. Look it up.
一个城里的人都没听说过也没见过的小中国佬 A little Chinese man that no one in town has seen or heard of.
还有你们说他住的那个酒店? 里面没有这个人 The hotel where you say he's staying? No one there.
他可能离开城里了 Probably because he left town.
这只是一种说法 That's one theory.
还有另一种说法是你们在撒谎 Another theory is that you're lying.
"圣诞节前夕 在拜瑞尔商店 举止下流" "Lewd behavior, Cracker Barrel, Christmas Eve."
失陪一下 Excuse me.
我们死定了 We're fucking dead.
为什么周先生要这么对我们? Why would Mr. Chow do this?
因为他是个贪婪的混蛋 把我们利用了 Because he's a greedy piece of shit who used us.
-是 但他是我们的朋友 -哦 -Yeah, but he's our friend. -Oh.
成熟点吧 艾伦 Grow up, Alan.
你们可以走了 You're free to leave.
所有指控都被撤消了 All the charges have been dropped.
谁撤销的? By who?
你们今天走运 It's your lucky day.
门口有辆车等你们 There's a car waiting for you out front.
起来 走吧 Come on, let's go.
哦 我去 Oh, Jesus.
什么情况? What?
请问 I'm sorry.
这是什么情况? What is this?
上车 Get in the car.
先生 请问 Excuse me, sir?
我们去哪啊? Where we headed?
欢迎回来 Welcome back.
-怎么回事? -走起来 同志们 -What the fuck? -Let's go, guys.
到后面去 Out to the back.
-道格? -兄弟们 小心 -Doug? -Guys. Careful.
你给我过来 Get your ass back over here.
莱斯利·周从没住过这 Leslie Chow never lived here.
你们闯进的不是他的老房子 You didn't break into his old house.
而是我的房子 You broke into my house.
我不明白 I don't understand.
你们不但没把他偷走的那半金子找回来 You didn't get back the gold he stole from me.
还帮他找到了他之前没偷走的那半 You got the other half that he didn't.
额滴神啊 Oh, my God!
你说他之前没偷走的那半是什么意思? What, you mean the half he never had?
他是个世界顶尖级小偷 而你们三个成了他的帮凶 He's a world-class rat, and you three were his accomplices.
-不 -我们完全不知情 -No! -We had no idea.
我们是想帮你 以为这样能让你高兴 We were trying to help you. We thought you'd be happy!
真是谢谢了 Thank you so much.
谢谢你们把我洗劫一空 Thank you for ripping me off.
谢谢你们祸害我的房子 Thank you for desecrating my home!
还要他妈的谢谢你们杀了我的狗 And thank you for killing my fucking dogs!
我们没杀你的狗 它们只是吃了点镇静剂 We didn't kill your dogs. They're just tranquilized.
哦 是吗 Oh, right.
你们不知道 You don't know.
-周出来的时候把狗的脖子扭断了 -什么? -Chow snapped their necks on his way out. -What?
总得有人付出代价 And somebody's gotta pay.
-他说的对 -不 不 不 啊 -He's right. -No, no, no! Aah!
我的保镖头头 My head of security.
连三个臭皮匠和一个拿着钳子的中国佬都挡不住 Couldn't stop three fuckups and a Chinaman with a pair of wire cutters.
太不靠谱了 Unreal.
啊 我去 Aw. Man.
没关系 我知道很吓人 That's okay. I know it's scary.
赫克托 去楼上给艾伦找一条运动裤 Hector. Run upstairs and grab a pair of sweatpants for Alan here.
我穿44号的 I'm a 44 slim.
你能多拿几条让我挑挑吗? Can you bring me a few options?
你们能找到周一次 就能找到他第二次 You found Chow once. Find him again.
还有我的金子 And my gold.
等等 Wait.
我们连车都没有 周偷走了我的小货车 We don't even have a car. Chow stole my minivan.
开那个豪华轿车 赫克托有钥匙 Take the limo. Hector has the keys.
行动吧 And get going.
今天一过我连他一起杀 I'm killing Dougs today.
-我从来没看过杀人 -是吧? -I never saw anyone get killed before. -Right?
我的神啊 太吓人了 My God, that was so intense.
他就那样倒下去 然后就死了 I mean, he just fell and then he's dead.
我觉得恶心 I feel sick.
我也是 Me too.
也许我们应该吃点东西 兄弟们 Well, maybe we should get some food, guys.
我们怎么办? 我们根本不知道周在哪 What are we gonna do? We have no idea where Chow is.
我也不知道 I don't know.
他开走了你的小货车 我们可以报失... He took your minivan. We could report it stolen...
然后让警方追踪他? and then they could track him down?
值得一试 It's worth a shot.
我擦 Oh, fuck!
我把手机落在小货车里面了 I left my phone in the minivan.
菲尔 我手机里有个手机定位软件能找到你丢失的手机 Well, if you lost your phone, Phil, I have that Find My Phone app.
我们现在有更棘手的问题 艾伦 We have bigger problems than that, Alan.
不 等等 如果你的手机在小货车里... No, wait, wait, wait. If your phone's in the minivan...
周开着那个小货车 那你的手机也在周身边 and Chow has the minivan, then your phone's with Chow!
你听见了吧 我们现在有更棘手的问题 司徒 You heard him. We have bigger problems than that, Stu.
艾伦 把你手机给我 快 Alan, give me your phone. Quick.
-太有才了 -没错 -That's brilliant. -Yes.
-等一下 你密码是什么? -"嘿 菲尔" -Wait, what's your password? -"Hey Phil."
-啥事? -不 那就是密码 -Yeah? -No, that's it.
-什么? -那就是我的密码 -What? -That's my password.
"嘿 菲尔" "Hey Phil."
确实是 It is it.
菲尔现在懂了 Phil gets it.
没有比丢手机更糟糕的事了 Nothing worse than losing your phone.
你刚刚目睹了一个人被杀 你姐夫还被绑架着呢 You just saw a man get murdered. Your brother-in-law is kidnapped.
你确定没有更糟糕的事了吗? You sure there's nothing worse?
你不明白 司徒 You don't get it, Stu.
你就是不明白是吧? You just don't get it, do you?
我手机里有60多个软件 I have over 60 apps on that phone.
我要是把手机丢了可怎么办? What if I lost my phone?
你知不知道要花费多少时间和人力... Do you have any idea how much time and man-hours it would take...
来重新下载那些软件? to re-download those apps?
你说得对 我没想到 谢谢你告诉我 You are right. I had not thought of that. Thank you.
神啊 地球不是总围着你转 司徒 Oh, God, it's not always about you, Stu!
在定位呢 It's locating.
-哦 神啊 当然在那 -怎么了? -Oh, God, of course. -What?
他在哪? Where is he?
这孙子在拉斯维加斯 He's in fucking Vegas.
-我坐前排 -哦 -Shotgun. -Oh.
哦 不 Oh, no.
嘿 司徒? Hey, Stu?
我不喜欢那样跟你讲话 I don't enjoy talking to you that way.
但我不明白你为什么老是让我脸红脖子粗 I don't know why you insist on making me blow my top.
我们一起经历了很多风雨... We've been on a lot of adventures together...
但你好像一点长进也没有 but it seems like you haven't learned anything.
一点都没有 Anything!
你自己好好想想吧 You think on it.
我在车里等你 I'll be in the limo.
他听明白了 He's okay.
真该有人把这个地方烧成平地 Someone needs to burn this place to the ground.
我对自己说过 再也不要回来了 I told myself I would never come back.
别担心 Well, don't worry.
今晚过后一切都结束了 It all ends tonight.
这上面说再向右走200码 It says 200 yards up on the right.
就是那了 And there it is.
太神了 Amazing.
他好像弃车了 Looks like he ditched it.
-门开着 -还真是 -It's open. -No shit.
好好找找 Well, look around.
看他落下什么东西没 Let's see if he left anything in here.
-我找到杜冷丁了 -好 留着 我们能用上 -I found the Demerol. -Good. Keep it, we're gonna need it.
我找到我的电话了 但该死的钥匙不见了 I got my phone. No fucking keys, though.
-艾伦 找到什么了吗? -没有 连金子都没有 -Alan, anything? -No, not even the gold.
-周为什么要来这? -很奇怪对吧? -Why the fuck would Chow come down here? -I know, right?
为什么要来这呢? Why here?
黄金换现金
你根本无法单纯跟约翰·西纳的... You can't match the pure strength and power...
体力和力量抗衡 of John Cena!
-西纳放倒了朋克 -哦 万岁 -Cena puts Punk down! -Oh! Ha, ha.
漂亮 Nice!
请问 你有没有看到那个小货车的司机... Excuse me. Have you happened to see the driver...
停在门口那个车? 司机是个矮个子的亚洲人? of that minivan that's out front? Short Asian guy?
是 他们都很矮 Yeah, they're all short.
哈 哈 说得太对了 Ha, ha. That's so true.
对 但他可能是来当金子的 Right, but he may have been trying to pawn some gold.
那是我自己的事 是吧? That would be my business, wouldn't it?
我喜欢你的T恤 I like your T-shirt.
我在节目里看到那场演出了 I saw that show at the Forum.
他弹了"杰克船长" He played "Captain Jack."
是 我听说那是个传奇一般的演出 Yeah, I heard that was legendary.
美女... Woman...
你绝对想象不到 you have no idea.
我试试 Try me.
凯西 我饿了 我以为你订了中国菜呢 Cassie, I'm hungry. I thought you ordered Chinese.
妈 我跟顾客谈生意呢 Mom, I'm with a customer!
-我说该吃饭的时候你才能吃饭 -但医生说... -You'll eat when I say it's time to eat! -But the doctor...
你要是再不打住的话 一会要你好看 If you don't reverse that right now, there's gonna be hell to pay.
她真没礼貌 She's rude.
谢谢 Thank you.
你听见了吧 妈? 没人喜欢你 Yeah, you hear that, Ma? Nobody likes you!
没错 把嘴给我闭上 Yeah, keep your mouth shut!
哇哦 Whoa.
你真聪明 You're smart.
之前一个中国佬来过 A Chinese guy came in here earlier.
举止很奇怪 It was pretty weird.
他当了一块金砖 He pawned a gold brick.
那块金砖值40万 他只要了一万八 The thing's worth 400 grand, he took 18,000.
-他说他要去哪了吗? -对不起 我跟你说话了吗? -Did he say where he was going? -I'm sorry, was I talking to you?
他说他要三样东西: He said he wanted three things:
一些女孩 一些男孩 和一些浴盐 He wanted some girls, some guys and some bath salts.
我给了他一张三陪服务的卡片 他就走了 I gave him a card for an escort service and he took off.
都是高级服务 估计很难从他们嘴来套出话来 Pretty high-end, so good luck getting anything out of them.
谢谢 Thank you.
我们得走了 我们该走了 We gotta go. We should go.
-是 -没错 -Yeah. -Yeah.
我收拾 我收拾 I'll get it, I'll get it. I'll get it.
打通了吗? Anything?
没 还是等候接听 No, I'm still on hold.
哦 看这傻帽多开心啊 Oh, look how happy this fucking guy is.
你见过那么火热的场面吗? Have you ever witnessed a moment with that much heat?
白热化级别的 哥们 I mean, white-hot heat, bro!
没见过 确实很火热 No, it was pretty intense.
是啊 Yeah!
是 其实出了一个紧急情况 Yeah, it's actually an emergency.
他有很重的亚洲口音 He has a thick Asian accent.
我完全理解... I totally get it...
但这是个很特殊的情况 而且... but this is a highly unusual circumstance and...
好 好吧 Okay. All right.
这只是个三陪联系人 It's an escort service.
他们什么也不知道 They're not gonna tell us shit.
也许一个三陪能告诉我们 Maybe an escort would.
-你还有她电话吗? -有 但是... -You still have her number? -Yeah, but...
场面会很尴尬的 it'd be pretty awkward.
我们只能找她了 It's all we got.
她又对我笑了 从玻璃里面 She smiled at me again, from inside the shop.
哈哈 这是我人生中最美好的一天 Ha, ha. This is the best day of my life.
嘿 Hey!
天啊 你们几个... Oh, my God, you guys...
好久不见啊 It's been so long.
-进来 进来 -谢谢 -Come in, come in. -Thank you.
-你看起来不错 -你也是 你怀孕了 -You look great. -So do you! You're pregnant.
我觉得自己很胖 I feel so fat.
哦 一点也不 Oh, please.
你们几个介不介意把鞋脱了? 我有点洁癖 Do you guys mind taking your shoes off? I'm a germ freak.
-不介意 -当然不介意 -Yeah, sure. -Of course.
艾伦 Alan.
艾伦 你干嘛呢? Alan, what are you doing?
抱歉 Sorry.
-哇 你家真漂亮 -谢谢 -Wow, you have a great house. -Thank you.
我一年前跟一个外科医生结婚了 I got married a year ago to a surgeon.
-又是一个医生 你相信吗? -又是一个医生 -Another doctor, can you believe it? -Another doctor.
他叫杰夫 你们会喜欢他的 His name's Jeff. You guys would love him.
泰勒 跟妈妈的朋友打招呼 Tyler, say hi to Mommy's friends.
嗨 Hi.
嘿 Hey!
等一下 这就是那个小孩吗? Wait, is that the baby?
是啊 时光飞逝吧? Yeah, time flies, huh?
哇哦 Wow.
婕德 我们能不能去人少一点的地方谈一谈? Jade is there a place we could talk that's a little bit more private?
咱们去厨房吧 你们想喝咖啡吗? Let's go in the kitchen. You guys want coffee?
好啊 Perfect.
嘿 你要一起来吗? Hey, you coming?
嘿 婕德 我能和那小家伙打个招呼吗? Hey, Jade. Is it okay if I go say hello to the little guy?
当然了 Of course.
东西不错 Nice stuff.
谢谢 那是杰夫买给我的 Thanks. Jeff bought it for me.
杰夫是谁 你的假爸爸吗? Jeff. Who's that, your fake dad?
你以前名字叫卡洛斯 Your name was Carlos once.
你知道吗? Did you know that?
不知道 No.
好吧 以前是 Well, it was.
而且坦白地说 它更适合你 And, frankly, it suits you better.
好吧 Okay.
你记得我吗? Do you remember me?
不记得 No.
你是我的亲爸爸吗? Are you my real dad?
是的 Yes.
我不知道 你们要明白 我离开那个圈子好几年了 I don't know. You gotta understand, I've been out of that world a few years now.
是 当然了 我们完全明白 Yeah, of course. We totally get that.
我是说 杰夫知道一切 也不在意 但是... I mean, Jeff knows everything and he's cool, but...
我们只是想问问你能不能打打电话... We're just asking if you can call around...
看看有没人知道他在哪 just find out if anybody might know where he is.
我们真的需要你帮忙 We could really use your help.
你以前喜欢我带着你走 You used to love it when I would carry you around.
有时候我胸口还会感觉到你的小脑袋 Sometimes I can still feel your little head on my chest.
那么你喜欢这个新的杰夫吗? So do you like this new Jeff guy?
喜欢 他人不错 Yeah, he's nice.
以前我父亲也很好 我们什么事情都一起做 My dad was nice too. We did everything together.
他是我的人生伙伴 He was my life partner, heh.
我真的让他失望了 I really let him down.
好 哇 Okay. Wow.
相信我 你不会想去那里的 好吧? 这个不行 Just trust me, you don't want to go over there, okay? Not this one.
我也爱你 I love you too.
她说有这么个中国疯子... She says there's this crazy Chinese guy...
他住在凯撒宫的顶层套房 and he's holed up in the penthouse suite of Caesars Palace.
那儿女人进进出出 到处都是毒品... There's girls going in and out, drugs everywhere...
听起来很糟糕 It sounds like a bad scene.
嘿 艾伦? Hey, Alan?
我们要走了 We gotta go.
我要走了 小子 I gotta go, little man.
和你谈话很愉快 It was great talking to you.
击掌 High five.
-见到你很高兴 -我也很高兴见到你 婕德 -It's great to see you. -You too, Jade.
-很感谢你的帮助 -是啊 -Thanks so much for your help. -Yeah.
这小孩很棒 That's a great kid you got there.
他是最棒的 He is the best.
艾伦 Alan.
等等 我有东西给你 Oh, hold on. I have something for you.
真完美 Perfect.
拜托 Oh, please.
再见 卡洛斯 I'll see you around, Carlos.
-喂 -我们找到他了 -Yeah. -We got him.
-好 他在哪? -凯撒宫 -Great. Where is he? -Caesars Palace.
计划有变 和机长说我们去维加斯 Change of plans. Tell him we're going to Vegas.
我在路上了 I'm on my way.
在城外有一个地方 There's a spot just outside of town.
我会把具体位置发给你 明早六点到 I'll text you the details. Be there at 6 a.m.
一定要把那混蛋东西绑起来 And make sure the little fucker's tied up.
我们没抓到他 We don't have him.
嘿 马歇尔 我是菲尔 Hey, Marshall, it's Phil.
可能司徒没说清楚 Maybe Stu wasn't clear.
我们没真正抓到周 我们只是知道他在哪 We don't actually have Chow, we just know where he is.
对 我们希望你和你的手下... Yeah, and we were hoping that you and your guys...
-能去凯撒宫抓他 -我才不管你希望什么呢 -could go to Caesars and get him. -I don't give a fuck what you were hoping.
说好了 你把周交给我 The deal is you bring Chow to me.
-他妈的 -明早六点 不然你朋友就死定了 -Oh, fuck. -6 a.m. Or your friend is dead.
操 Shit.
天啊 Oh, God.
这地方让我害怕 This place gives me the chills.
我明白 好吧? I know, right?
回来这真好 It's great to be back.
-那么多美好的回忆 -你在和我开玩笑吗? -So many good memories. -Are you kidding me?
好 情况是这样的: Okay, so here's the deal:
你要钥匙才能到他的那一层 You need a key just to get onto his floor.
一到那里 门口又有保安 And then once you're there, he's got security posted at the door.
这太愚蠢了 It's ridiculous.
我猜猜 那是他? Let me guess, that's him?
是 开着闪关灯的那间 Yep. The one with the strobe lights.
我有个主意 I got an idea.
但你们不会喜欢的 But you're not gonna like it.
这不成 It's not gonna work.
以你这态度肯定不能成功 Not with that fucking attitude.
你知道这地方全是用大理石建的吗? You know this whole place is made out of marbles?
快 走 走 走 Come on. Go, go, go.
员工通道
抓到周以后 艾伦和我会带他从大厅出去 After we stick Chow, Alan and I are gonna take him down through the lobby.
好好等着 开着引擎 随时准备离开 Be waiting in valet. Engine running, ready to go.
你有把握吗? Are you sure about this?
麻醉剂给我 Give me the Demerol.
20分钟后见 See you in 20 minutes.
-嘿 菲尔? -什么? -Hey, Phil? -Yeah?
不要死 Don't die.
好了 All right.
你准备好了吗? Are you ready to do this?
准备好了 Yeah.
等等 我们要做什么? Wait, what are we doing?
天啊 Holy shit.
我们要往下爬... We're gonna climb down...
之后离阳台还有八英尺 and then it's about an 8-foot drop to the balcony.
-好了吗? -好了 -All right? -Yeah.
不行 你要自己朝手上吐 No, you spit in your own hand.
好吧 Oh, yeah.
沙漠空气太干燥了 Dry desert air.
-艾伦 没事 没必要 -好的 -Alan, it's fine. You don't need it. -Okay.
天啊 Oh, God.
-啊 -小心 -Unh! -Careful!
-菲尔 -我没事 -Phil! -I'm all right.
我很好 I'm okay!
-嘿 菲尔 -什么事? -Hey, Phil. -What's wrong?
等一下 Hold on a second.
-什么? -等等 -What? -Hold on!
把自己踢出去点 Like, kick yourself out a little bit.
艾伦 Alan.
-别动 -艾伦 -Stay still! -Alan!
你拍到了吗? Did you get it?
没有 等会 No. Hold on.
哈 太酷了 哈哈哈 Ha, that's cool, ha-ha-ha.
操 Oh! Fuck me!
一切都好吗? Everything all right?
没事 It's okay!
没关系 It's all right!
我快到了 哇 I got it! Whoa.
你还好吗? Are you okay?
艾伦 现在到你了 Alan, it's your turn.
没错 That's it.
菲尔 我做不到 做不到 Phil, I can't. I can't.
来吧 Come on.
哇 Whoa!
艾伦 你还好吗? Alan, you all right?
菲尔 叫保安 Phil, call Security!
-我想它在下滑 -抓紧就好 -I think it's slipping! -Just hold on!
天啊 Oh! God!
-你需要冷静点 -我在下滑 菲尔 -You need to calm down. -I'm slipping, Phil!
操 Oh! Fuck!
操 你没事吧? Oh, shit! You okay?
救命啊 Help!
不会吧 Oh, no.
我就要死了 菲尔 I'm gonna die, Phil.
不会的 你还好 只要... No, you're fine. Just...
朝我跳下来 Drop down to me.
不可能 No chance.
我在这很好 I'm good up here.
艾伦 你做得到的 我会接住你 Alan, you can do this. I'll catch you.
只要... Just...
放手 let go.
就这样 就这样 就直直地跳下来 That's it. That's it. Just drop straight down.
但是别推墙 But don't push off.
不要 No!
-天啊 -过来 -Oh, God! -Come here!
天啊 Holy fuck!
你没事吧? You Okay?
没事 Yeah.
操 Shit. Oh, fuck.
我差点就死了 菲尔 I almost died, Phil.
算了吧 我不会让你死的 你是我哥们 Come on. I wasn't gonna let you go. You're my boy.
你是我的男人 And you're my man.
艾伦 你干嘛呢? 艾伦 Alan, what are you doing? Alan.
好了 Okay.
现在去抓这个混蛋 Let's go get this fucker.
嘿 Hey!
你有没看到我的...? Have you seen my...?
什么? Huh?
菲尔 Phil!
狗娘养的 Motherfuckers!
去捡枪 Grab the gun!
-他妈的 -菲尔 -Oh, fuck! -Phil!
噢 Oh.
菲尔 你还好吗? Phil, you okay?
周 Chow!
周 快开门 Chow, open the fucking door!
他妈的 Fuck.
周 别动 Chow, stop.
混蛋 You motherfuckers!
莱斯利 快下来 拜托了 你会受伤的 Leslie, get down from there! Please! You're gonna hurt yourself!
没什么伤得了周 Nothing hurts Chow.
我是隐形的 I am invisible!
是"无敌的" 而且你也不是无敌的 你只是疯了 It's "invincible," and you're not. You're just out of your fucking mind.
在你摔死前从那下来 Now get down from there before you die!
死? Die?
你怎么样杀死已死的人呢? 嘿嘿嘿 How do you kill what's already dead? Heh... heh... heh.
他妈的 Oh, fuck!
天... Holy...
呜呼 Woo-hoo!
-嘿 你还好吗? -不好 -Hey. You okay? -No.
往上看 Look up.
这他妈是什么啊? What the fuck is that?
-那是周 -什么? -That's Chow! -What?
跟着他 Follow him.
呜呼 Woo-hoo!
呼 Whoo!
我爱可卡因 I love cocaine!
让开 Out of the way!
怎么会这样? How did this happen?
我们把他困住了 然后他就跳了 We had him trapped, and then he jumped!
他真他妈疯了 He's out of his fucking mind!
我疯啦 I'm out of my fucking mind!
哇 Wow.
好美啊 So beautiful.
司徒 别跟丢了 Stu, do not lose him.
我尽力 I'm trying.
哇 Whoa!
操 Oh, shit.
我们要把这些黄金装起来 把它们带走 We gotta pack up all this gold. We're taking it with us.
怎么样了 司徒 Talk to me, Stu.
我看到他了 I got him.
哈 哈 我看到他了 Ha, ha. I got him!
操 Oh, shit!
啊 啊 啊 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
操 Shit.
他妈的 我跟丢了 Fuck! I lost him!
别和我说这个 你不能跟丢 Don't tell me that. You can't lose him!
这比你想的难多了 菲尔 This is so much harder than you realize, Phil.
我只是一个牙医 I'm just a dentist!
不 司徒 你是个医生 现在去抓他 No, Stu, you're a fucking doctor. Now go get him.
他到底去哪了? Where the fuck did he go?
我操 Fuck me!
我本应该想到的 I should have thought this through!
操 Shit!
走开 Move!
-啊 -司徒? -Aah! -Stu?
-周? -停车 -Chow? -Stop the fucking car!
-司徒 -我没法停 刹车卡住了 -Stu. -I can't! The pedal is stuck!
-什么? -司徒? -What? -Stu?
-我看不见 -停下 混蛋 -I can't see! -Stop, motherfucker!
-下来 -靠边停 -Get off! -Pull over!
-停不下来 -啊 -It won't stop! -Aah!
滚下车 Get off the car!
我什么都看不见 I can't see anything!
哈哈哈 我们终于要死了 Ha-ha-ha. We're gonna die finally.
天啊 Holy shit.
司徒? 司徒 发生了什么事? Stu? Stu, what happened?
司徒 怎么了? Stu, what's going on?
我们出了交通事故 我想他死了 We had an accident, and I think he's dead.
等等 不会吧? Wait, what?
我想我杀了他 I think I killed him.
天啊 Holy shit.
他不动了 He's not moving.
糟糕 Oh, fuck.
周先生? Mr. Chow?
周 Chow.
司徒亚特? Stuart?
他还活着 他没事 He's alive. He's okay.
好极了 Oh, great.
把他塞到车里 然后过来接我们 我们停车区见 Put him in the limo and come get us.We'll meet you at valet.
嗯 好的 Yeah, okay.
司徒 Stu.
刚才开得够爽的 老兄? That was some ride, huh, pal?
是啊 太刺激了 Yeah, it was pretty wild.
我感觉不到蛋蛋了 I can't feel my nuts.
能不能帮我摸摸 看看它们还好吗? Would you rub them and make sure they okay?
别闹了 莱斯利 It's over, Leslie.
等等 Wait.
我们做笔交易吧 Let's make a deal.
要周给你吹萧吗? Want Chow to blow your dick?
来吧 司徒 Come on, Stu.
我会让你爽死的 I could be a good wife to you.
-没得商量 -不 等等 -No more deals. -No, wait!
把袋子放到后座上 Let's put the bags in the back seat.
后备箱里有人了 Trunk's full.
嘿 伙计们? 我现在感觉好多了 Hey, guys? I'm feeling better now.
好的 下个路口出去 往前开四英里就到沙漠了 All right, it's the next exit, then four miles straight into the desert.
这样吧: Tell you what:
放我出来 我们四个把金子分了 每个人都赚到了 Let me out, we split the gold four ways. Everyone wins.
马歇尔会杀了我的 Marshall gonna kill me!
你们的双手会沾满我的鲜血 My blood will be on your hands!
你想周一辈子阴魂不散吗 司徒? You want Chow's ghost haunting you for rest of your life, Stu?
飘在你旁边 看你和老婆做爱? Floating over you while you make fuck on your wife?
他不会杀了你的 周 他只想要回他的金子 He's not gonna kill you, Chow! He just wants his gold back!
金子都没了 我在曼谷花了2000万 It's gone. I blew the first 2O million in Bangkok.
-所以我才回来拿另一半 -够了 周 都结束了 -That's why I had to get the other half. -Enough, Chow! It's over!
混蛋 You motherfucker!
要是我没事 我会把你们几个开膛剖肚 When I get out of this, I'm gonna rip out your fucking lungs!
听到没? 你们死定了 你们都完蛋了 You hear me? You're dead! You're all dead!
我不是这个意思 I didn't mean that.
周有时候会发脾气 Chow loses temper sometimes.
求你了 我需要帮助 Please. I need help.
我知道错了 I know that now.
出口在那儿 That's the exit.
他们在那儿 They're here.
艾伦 他们来了 把最后一袋提过来 Alan, they're coming, grab the last bag.
求你了 艾伦 Please, Alan.
-道格 -道格 -Doug! -Doug!
离袋子远点 我们走 Step away from the bags. Let's go!
没我们的事了? We good?
-金子都在那 我保证 -不全在 -It's all there. I promise. -Not exactly.
原来那一半还没还给我 I'm still missing the original half.
但就剩这么多了 周说他在曼谷把那一半花光了 But, no, that's all we have. Chow said he blew the other half in Bangkok.
他人呢? Where is he?
后备箱里 He's in the trunk.
我信守诺言 Deal's a deal.
-道格 -把钥匙给我 -Doug. -Give me the keys.
你要怎么处理周? What are you gonna do with Chow?
我只想和他聊聊 I just wanna talk to him.
滚开 Move.
你还好吗? You all right?
搞什么啊? What the fuck?
聊天结束 End of conversation.
你为什么要这么做? Why would you do that?
莱斯利·周是个疯子 Leslie Chow is madness.
人们不和疯子聊天 You don't talk to madness.
幸运的话 你把他困在轿车的后备箱里 然后杀了他 If you're lucky, you trap it in the trunk of your limo and you kill it.
你们今晚干得很漂亮 You did a great thing tonight.
应该感觉不错 You should feel good about this.
搞什么? 你们觉得这样好玩吗? What the fuck? You think this is a fucking game?
不 不 别 Don't, don't, don't!
天啊 Oh, shit!
说再见吧 王八蛋 Toodle-loo, motherfuckers.
周 Chow.
周 周 等等 Chow. Chow, wait.
现在想聊啦 蓝眼睛帅哥? Oh, now you wanna talk, blue eyes?
不再沉默是金了? No more silent treatment?
莱斯利 别这样 Leslie. No.
胖子 别掺和 Stay out of this, fatty.
不 莱斯利 No, Leslie.
你要杀菲尔 先把我杀了 You shoot Phil, you gotta go through me.
什么? What?
-艾伦 -别吵 -Alan. -Quiet.
我们在眼神交流 I'm in a stare-off.
今天留你们一条命 Today you all live.
是因为你们中的一个是我的朋友 Because one of you was a friend.
艾伦 你做什么了? Alan, what did you do?
我把后备箱和后座间的阀门打开了 I unlocked the latch between the back seat and the trunk.
还给他留了把枪? And left him his gun?
嗯 我也没料到会有那玩意 Yeah, I didn't think it all the way through.
他给了周一个反击的机会 He gave Chow a fighting chance.
这就是我要的 That's all I ever need.
死胖子 Fat fuck.
不容易啊 对吗? It's never easy, is it?
没人想看到这种结果 No one wants to see that.
除了我 我天生就是个坏蛋 Except for me, but I was born bad.
等等 我有东西要给你 Hold on. I have something for you.
为了你的忠心 For your loyalty.
噢 不 我不想要这个 周先生 Oh, no, I don't want this, Mr. Chow.
好的 还给我 快点 Okay, give it back, then. Come on.
快 别让司徒看到了 Quick! Before Stu smells it.
我也不想要 周 I don't want it either, Chow.
别装了 好像都不爱财一样 Oh, please. Like a squirrel doesn't want a nut.
他肯定是犹太人 It funny because he's Jewish.
你又没听懂笑点? Don't you get it?
该死的 Goddamn it.
好吧 你们都给我滚蛋 Okay, go on. Get out of here, all of you.
嘿 胖子 一周后联系你 我们再聚聚 Hey, chubster, I'll call you in a week. We'll get together.
不 莱斯利 我们不能做朋友了 No, Leslie, we can't be friends anymore.
什么? What?
你对我影响很恶劣 一点也不健康 You're not good for me. It's not healthy.
艾伦 你现在头脑不清醒 Alan, you're not thinking straight.
明天再聊吧 Let's just talk tomorrow.
莱斯利 你是我见过的最棒最酷的人 Leslie, you're one of the coolest and nicest guys I've ever met.
你很聪明 你很幽默 大家都爱你 And you're smart and you're funny and everybody loves you.
艾伦 你想说什么? Alan. What is this?
只要我们一起 就会有坏事发生 有人会受伤 When we get together, bad things happen and people get hurt.
是啊 这才是关键 这才好玩 Yeah, that's the point. It's funny.
我想为我的人生做些改变 这就是其中之一 Well, I've gotta make some changes in my life, and this is one of them.
对不起 I'm sorry.
再见了 莱斯利·周 Farewell, Leslie Chow.
你真冷血 You're cold as ice.
我坐前排 Shotgun.
大家都还好吗? Everybody okay?
是的 Yeah.
艾伦 你呢? Alan, you okay?
嗯 Yeah.
好的 我们回家吧 Good. Let's go home.
天啊 Jesus Christ.
兄弟们 知道吗? You know what, guys?
你们先走吧 我还有些事情要处理 You can go ahead without me. There's something I need to do.
你知道怎么回家吗? Do you even know how to get home?
当然啦 我是个成年人 Of course I do. I'm a grown man.
我会问路的 I'll ask a stranger.
祝你好运 艾伦 Good luck, Alan.
回头见 We'll see you soon.
你知道离这几个街区的距离... Did you know that just a couple blocks from here...
有个地方看起来和法国巴黎差不多? there's a place that looks exactly like Paris, France?
我不记得叫什么了 但应该高端大气上档次 I can't remember what it's called, but it's supposed to be magnificent.
那地方叫巴黎赌场 确实非常宏伟 It's called Paris Hotel and Casino, and it is magnificent.
对 就是它 Yeah, that's it.
我想请你去那儿吃晚餐 就今晚 Well, I'd like to take you to dinner there. Tonight.
噢 抱歉 我去不了 Oh, sorry. No can do.
噢 好吧... Oh, well...
我这辈子不能再去赌场了 I'm banned from the casino for life.
再加10年 Plus 10 years.
上次我妈妈过生日 我带她去那玩二十一点 I took Mom there for her birthday, played a little blackjack.
她把两张十给分了 She split 10s.
-噢 -我非常生气 -Oh. -I may have overreacted.
他们说我虐待老年人 They said it was abuse of an elderly.
哈哈 我也这么做过 Ha, ha. I've done that.
嘿 是吗? 管他的 Heh. Right? Whatever.
我不能再回去了 I can't go back there.
不过... But, uh...
金砖赌场有这儿最好吃的牛排 如果... Golden Nugget has the best prime rib in town, if that's...
听起来很棒 Well, that sounds glorious.
我八点来接你 I'll send for you at 8:00.
就这样? Is that it?
我在色情片里看过别人这么做 I saw it once in a pornography.
噢 Oh.
姿势不错 It's a nice gesture.
或许我们该等等 But maybe we should wait.
噢 好的 对 Oh. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
8点见 I'll see you at 8.
六 个 月 后
你真帅 艾伦 You look great, Alan.
你觉得呢? 戴不戴帽子? What do you think? Hat or no hat?
呃... Uh...
-戴上好 我确定 -好 -Hat. For sure. -Oh, yeah. Okay.
哇 这家伙是谁? Wow. Who's this guy?
穿上马甲 拿着手杖? 我觉得超赞 The vest and the cane? I love it.
谢谢 凯西给我选的 Thank you. Cassie picked it out for me.
你看起来像花生先生 You look like Mr. Peanut.
我知道 好吗? 这就是我要的效果 Yeah, I know, right? That's what I was going for.
-还是不要吧 -嗯 -Maybe we'll just lose it. -Yeah.
艾伦 我刚刚和凯西聊了会 她是个很棒的女人 Hey, Alan, I was just talking to Cassie. She's an amazing woman.
谢谢你 她确实很棒 Oh, thank you for saying that. She is an amazing woman.
我觉得她比你们的老婆强多了 I find her much better than your wives.
真甜蜜 Aw. That's sweet.
我想起来了 我们得聊聊 道格? Which reminds me. Um, we need to talk. Doug?
听着 伙计们 All right, listen, fellas.
我要结婚了 我要多陪陪卡桑德拉 Now that I'm getting married, I'm gonna be spending a lot more time with Cassandra.
是啊 就该这样 Of course. It's the way it should be.
不 先别说话 菲尔 好吗? No, you slow your roll, Phil, okay?
我还有话要说 There's more.
下面要说的 你们可能不爱听 And you're not gonna like this part.
我要退出狼帮了 I must resign from the wolf pack.
艾伦 这是件大事啊 Wow, that's a big step, Alan.
我知道 I know.
但她是我的灵魂伴侣 But she's my soul mate.
也是我最好的朋友 And my new best friend.
而且 她让我上她... Plus, she lets me mount her...
我很享受这个 which relaxes me.
天啊 Oh, my God.
艾伦 能不能略过这个部分 Alan, maybe never say that part again.
淡定 道格 都是成年人了 Chillax, Doug, we're all adults here.
我知道你上我姐姐 我看到好多次了 I know you mount my sister. I've seen it. Many times.
什么? What?
艾伦 你是最棒的 Alan, you are the best.
重点是: The point is:
你们得让我走 You need to let me go.
尤其是你 You in particular.
我再也不是你的英雄了 I can't be your hero anymore.
好吧 没问题 Okay. Sure.
虽然说了这么多... Having said all that...
我还是想每周二大伙一起去打保龄球... I still would like to get together on Tuesdays for bowling...
隔个周日 都一起热闹热闹 and alternating Sundays for general horseplay.
-随意点怎么样? -艾伦 到时间了 -How about we play all that by ear? -Alan, it's time.
我们走吧 Here we go.
准备好了吗? Ready?
好了 I'm ready.
搞什么啊? What the fuck?
噢 Oh.
天啊 Oh, my God.
你们 You guys.
我们太疯狂了 We're so crazy.
我穿着女人的内衣 哈哈哈 I'm wearing women's underwear. Ha-ha-ha.
天啊 哈哈哈 Oh, my God. Ha-ha-ha.
司徒 别害怕 你得往下看看 Stu, don't freak out, but you need to look down.
什么? What?
噢 天啊 Oh, my God!
-呵呵呵 -啊 -Ho-ho-ho. -Aah!
该死的 Oh, fuck!
我有大胸啦 I have boobies now!
天啊 Holy shit!
这一点也不好笑 It's not funny!
艾伦 你刚干嘛了? Alan, what did you do?
你做了什么 艾伦? What did you do, Alan?
婚礼蛋糕 The wedding cake.
莱斯利送的 It was from Leslie.
天啊 Oh, my God.
昨晚真是疯得够爽 贱人们 嘿嘿嘿 We had a sick night, bitches. Heh-heh-heh.