广东绿皇香鸡虎门专卖店提供翻译 《片名：玩爆约会 》 Green Emperor Fragrant Chicken (Guangdong) Humen Store 《title：Playdate》
住手！ - 伙计 这刺激啊？ Stop it! Dude, how sick is this?
我们要死了 我们要死了 We're gonna die! We're gonna die!
哦 妈妈！ Oh, mama!
传球！ Pass the ball!
好了 伙计们 过来 All right, guys, bring it in.
好了 快点 快点 快点 All right, come on, come on, come on,
过来 聚过来 Get in here. Huddle up.
我们还剩一分钟 好吗？ 我们打平了 We got a minute left here, okay? We are tied up.
卢卡斯 你… 你在哪 Lucas, whe--where are you?
卢卡斯 你在哪？ - 我就在这 爸爸 Lucas, where are you? I'm right here, Dad.
上 卢卡斯 - 过来 Go, Lucas! Get in here.
你是队里的 走吧 - 快点 You're on the team. Let's go. Come on.
你在开玩笑吧 他太烂了 You're kidding. He sucks.
第二节没人防他 Nobody covered him in the second quarter.
我在那被三个人包夹 I'm getting triple teamed out there.
好吧 你知道吗？ 那我告诉你 嗯 Well, you know what? Then I'll tell you what. Um--
伙计 你打过长曲棍球吗？ Dude, have you even played lacrosse?
就是瞎打 失败者 Just cold play, loser.
好吧 行 你知道吗 就这么定了 Okay, fine. You know what-- that's a play.
我们要把球传给卢卡斯 We're gonna get the ball to Lucas.
什么 你疯了吗？ - 对 这就是计划 What, are you high? Yes, that's the plan.
卢卡斯 你来射门 Lucas, you're gonna take the shot.
我们会赢下这场的 好吗？ We're gonna win this thing, okay?
我们上吧 你觉得呢 Let's get in there. What do you say?
我说我们会输 - 我不在乎 I say we're gonna lose. I don't care.
伙计们 我们作为一个团队赢下这场 Let's win this thing as a team, guys.
这简直是胡扯 - 走吧 伙计们 This is bullshit. Let's go, guys.
走吧 我们是英雄 Let's go. We are heroes.
爸爸 你确定要这样吗？ Dad, are you sure about this?
我是说 要是我搞砸了 大家都会生我的气 I mean, everyone's just gonna be pissed off at me
要是我搞砸了 if I mess this up.
或许我该去坐在替补席上 Maybe I should just go sit on the bench.
坐在替补席上 Sit on the bench?
伙计 这是你的英雄时刻 Buddy, you are set up for the hero moment.
我们看那些体育电影时 When we watch those sports movies,
到了最后几秒钟 and it comes down to those final few seconds,
一切都变成慢动作 and everything turns to slow motion,
英雄就会出现 that's where the hero emerges.
哇 Whoa!
一切都慢下来 然后他们射门 Everything slows down, and they make the shot,
然后就是胜利！ and it's victory!
大家把他举到肩上 And they throw 'em on their shoulders,
大家都很疯狂 and they're going crazy.
女孩们会喊 “卢卡斯 卢卡斯” The girls are gonna be “Lucas, Lucas!”
我们就这样赢 That's how we win.
好的 - 好吗 All right. All right?
我们开始吧 - 我们实现它 Let's do it. Let's make it happen.
我爱你 爸爸 I love you, Dad.
好了 嘘 嘿 声音小点 Okay, sshh. Hey, maybe lower.
这 这是体育比赛 我们不 This, this is sports. We don't--
我们有点 这已经是默认的了 we kind of-- it's already assumed.
这是默认的 It's assumed.
卢卡斯 Lucas!
好了 求你了 好的 All right, please, yes.
哦 求你了 Oh, please.
求你了 上帝 求你了 Please, God. Please.
好的 Yes!
哦 我的上帝 Oh, my God!
卢卡斯 上 Lucas, go!
猛虎之眼（《洛奇 3》主题曲常用语 表斗志） Eye of the tiger!
他到底在干什么？ What the hell is he doing?
他为什么在慢动作移动？ Why is he moving in slow motion?
可能是我让他这么做的 I might have told him to.
不 他没权利这样 No! He had no right!
不可能 - 你太烂了 卢卡斯 No way! You suck, Lucas.
你没事 他没事 You're okay. He's okay.
你只是喘不过气来而已 You just got the wind knocked out of ya.
他只是喘不过气来而已 He got the wind knocked out of him.
他没事 很快就会缓过来 He's fine. Gonna come back quick.
帮帮我 Help me.
或许长曲棍球不适合他？ Maybe lacrosse isn't his thing?
我是说 或许他根本就不是喜欢运动的孩子 I mean, maybe he's just not a sports kind of kid at all.
♪ 四叶草 你愿意过来吗 ♪ ♪ Four leaf clover won't you come over ♪
♪ 宝贝 给我一个机会 ♪ ♪ Baby, give me a chance ♪
听着 运动对他很重要 Look, playing a sport is important to him.
我是说 我只知道这些 I mean, this is all I know.
我以前就是这么做的 This is what I did.
我… 我通过运动和我父亲建立了联系 I--I connected with my father through sports.
哦 亲爱的 我知道当继父这事儿不容易 Oh, honey, I know this whole new stepdad thing can't be easy
我很欣赏你这么努力想和他建立联系 and I love that you're trying so hard to connect with him.
我真的 真的很欣赏 I really, I really am.
你和卢卡斯也会找到适合你们的相处方式 You and Lucas will find your thing too,
但你们需要给彼此一些时间 but you just gotta give it time.
不能勉强 You can't force it.
过来 我爱你 Come here. I love you.
我爱你 I love you.
嘿 亨特 下次我们一定赢 好吗 兄弟? Yo, Hunt. We'll get ‘em next time, huh, bro?
别叫我 “兄弟” 伙计 Don't call me “bro,” dude.
别叫我 “伙计” 小子 Don't call me “dude,” son.
别叫我 “小子” 贱人 Don't call me “son,” bitch.
我不是贱人 你才是… - 哦我的天 别吵了 I'm not a bitch, you're a-- - Oh my God, stop.
你还好吗? You okay?
嗯 没事 就是… Yeah, fine, it's just...
对了 卢卡斯上厕所要花这么久吗? By the way, how long does it take Lucas to take a leak?
哦 你能帮我去看看他吗? Oh, can you check on him for me?
他怕羞不敢上厕所 He gets bladder shy.
好 Yeah.
哦 该死 是普卡斯 Oh, shit. It's Pukas.
怎么了 普卡斯? What's up, Pukas?
要是我做了什么让你们不爽的事 我很抱歉 Look, I'm sorry if I did anything to piss you guys off.
说真的 我只是想和你们好好相处 Honestly, I--I just want it to be cool between us.
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
嘿 别碰他 Hey! Don't touch him.
爸爸来了 Daddy's here.
我们走 卢卡斯 Let's go, Lucas.
我跟你们说 Let me tell you something.
你们再碰他一次 我就回来 You touch him again, I come back here,
亲自揍扁你们每个人 I personally kick every one of your asses.
每个人 都揍扁 Every one, every ass.
我会揍你们的 明白吗? I kick it, you understand?
我们走 卢卡斯 快点 Just let's go, Lucas. Come on.
你们知道自己差点惹上什么麻烦吗? Do you understand what you guys almost got into?
你们知道这里差点要发生什么吗 Do you have any idea the annihilation
会是一场狠狠教训 that would have taken place here?
狠狠教训 怎么 你们想试试吗? Annihilation. Wait, you want to go?
你们想找茬吗 想试试吗? You feeling frisky? You want to go?
知道吗 我奉陪? You know what? I'll go.
嗯 - 你想试试吗 Hm? You want to go?
那就来啊 - 你多大了 Let's go. How old are you?
你他妈从哪冒出来的? What the hell where'd you come from?
来啊 - 我不是… Let's go. I don't--
我不是说我不想跟你们打 I'm not saying I don't want to go.
我只是说我们可以打 I'm just saying we can go.
别废话了 老家伙 动手啊 Stop talking shit and just do it, old man.
打我啊 - 声音小点 Hit me. Bring the voice down.
我们现在在更衣室 这里回音很大 Okay, we're in a locker room. It's a lot of acoustics.
你刚才说要揍扁我们所有人 You just said you could kick all our asses.
我知道 我还没吃饭呢 I know. I haven't even eaten yet.
我们在贝尼哈纳餐厅订了位 We have reservations at Benihana.
就是那家有冒烟火山料理的餐厅 You know where they do the smoking volcano thing
还有小洋葱的 with the runyons.
没事了 我们走 卢卡斯 It's fine. Let's go, Lucas man.
走 只是… 下次最好注意点 Go. Just... better watch it next time.
知道了 Yeah.
好了 All right.
那小子叫什么名字来着? What's that kid's name anyway?
库尔特 - 库尔特 Kurt. Kurt.
该死的库尔特 Freaking Kurt.
你知道要是真打起来… 会怎么样吗 Do you realize how... how--how
会怎么样吗 - 哦 当然知道 that would have went down? Oh, yeah.
我肯定会揍扁他们所有人 I would have kicked all their asses.
对 肯定的 - 嗯 Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
我现在应该回去 我要回去 Now, I should go back there. I'm gonna go back there.
别 别 别 别 - 他可能已经不在那儿了 对吧? No, no, no, no. He's probably not there, right?
我是说 我要… - 没事的 爸爸 I mean, I'm gonna-- - It's fine, Dad.
我应该把这事了结了 伙计 I should just close this shit out, man.
这太疯狂了 - 别 别 别 别 This is crazy. No, no, no, no.
没事的 爸爸 It's--it's fine, Dad.
我都习惯了 I'm used to it.
你说你习惯了是什么意思? What do you mean you're used to it?
这不是… That's not...
听着 这种事不应该成为你的习惯 see, that's not something you should be used to.
这种事经常发生吗 How often does this happen?
呃 每天都这样 Uh, every day.
我是说 他根本没办法躲开 I mean, there's no way for him to escape.
你知道情况这么糟吗 Did you know it was this bad?
不知道 我们该怎么办 No. What should we do?
现在不用做什么 因为我已经制止了 Nothing now, because I slammed it down.
我已经搞定了 知道吗 我处理好了 I shut it, you know? I took care of things.
我及时制止了 知道吗 所以… I nipped it in the bud, you know? So--
你得马上给学校和校长打电话 You got to call the school and the principal right away.
什么 不行 不能这么做 What? No. You can't do that.
那样他就成告密的了 Then he's a rat.
你看过《无间道》吧 他会被报复的 You saw The Departed. He'll get whacked.
布莱恩 你现在是他爸爸了 Brian, you're his dad now.
这种事本来就该爸爸来处理 This is something a dad needs to handle.
你说得对 你说得对 You're right. You're right.
我… 嘿 看着我 I...Hey, look at me.
我向你保证 我绝不会让他出事 I promise you I'll never let anything bad happen to him.
好吗 All right?
好 - 我得回去工作了 All right. I gotta get back to work.
等我回来 我们就处理这件事 好吗? When I get back, we'll take care of this, all right?
嘿 不会再有欺负人的事了 Hey, no more bullies.
揍他啊! Kick his ass!
求你别压着我了! - 哦 哦! Please get off! Oh, oh!
抓住他 你这个小贱人! Get him, you little bitch!
伙计 我押了五千美元赌你赢! Dude, I got five grand on you!
上 上! Go, go!
克… 克莱尔说你想见我 C--Claire said you wanted to see me?
嘿 伙计 Hey, buddy.
对 进来吧 Yeah, come on in.
就… 就找个座位坐下吧 Just, uh, just grab-- grab a seat.
上 上 ！- 你能行的！ Go! Go! You can do it!
相信你自己！ Believe in yourself!
耶 哇 Yeah! Whoo!
付钱吧 Pay up, .
嘿 听着 Hey, so listen.
辉瑞那笔业务 The Pfizer thing.
你会把那些数据理顺的 对吧？ You're gonna straighten out those numbers, right?
嗯 我是说 数据本来就是那样 Well, I mean, the numbers are what the numbers are.
首先 别对我大喊大叫 First of all, don't yell at me.
好 那我没觉得我在大喊大叫啊 Okay, then. I didn't think I was yelling.
听着就像在大喊大叫 Sounded like yelling.
数据有点紧张 兄弟 Numbers are a little tight, dawg,
所以就稍微调整一下 懂吗 so just make them a little loosey-goosey, you know?
嗯 我是说 要是我们调整数据… Well, I mean, if we loosen them up--
嘿 冷静点 Hey, calm down.
要是我们调整数据 If we loosen them up,
那你基本上就是在让我做假账了 then what you're gonna do is you're basically,
你是在让我做假账 you're asking me to commit fraud.
什么！ What?!
哇 Whoa.
听着 我爸要是看到这些数据会气疯的 Listen, Dad is gonna flip out if he sees these numbers.
兄弟 你不能让我爸气疯 Bro, you can't let Dad flip out.
你不能让我爸气疯 You can't let Dad flip out.
我是说 他不是… 他不是我爸 I mean, he's not-- he's not my dad.
什么 - 你怎么敢这么说 What?! How dare you!
你闭嘴 You shut your face!
我问你个事 Let me ask you something.
你觉得你做得怎么样？ How do you think this is going?
嗯 我觉得一开始的时候还挺好的… Well, I thought it was going better when I first--
我没在问你这个 That's not a question.
但答案是 你被解雇了 But here's the answer: You're fired!
我爸一直都讨厌你 My dad always hated you.
好的 Okay.
♪ 大屁股女人 ♪ ♪ Big booty bitches ♪
♪ 你赢了 你赢了 ♪ ♪ You're winning you're winning ♪
♪ 蹲下来 ♪ ♪ Drop it down low ♪
- ♪ 对 转起来 转起来 ♪ - - ♪ Yeah, spinnin' spinnin' ♪ -
摇摆起来 女孩 Shake it, girl.
♪ 所以你不能再蹲低了 不能再蹲低了 ♪ ♪ So you can't get low, low, low ♪
♪ 大屁股女人 ♪ ♪ Big booty bitches ♪
♪ 你赢了 你赢了 ♪ ♪ You're winning you're winning ♪
所以他们叫你 “胆小鬼” 吗 So they called you a baby back bitch?
他们经常这么叫你吗？ Do they do that a lot?
不 没关系 不管是什么 No, it doesn't matter. Whatever it is.
我当时必须立下规矩 I had to lay down the law is what I did.
但 你知道的 是有规矩的 But, you know, there's the standards.
是有规矩的 我就是那种 There's standards. I'm just cut from the cloth
遵循更高标准的人 要是你能明白的话 of a higher standard, if that makes any sense.
我不知道你能不能明白 I don't know if it does,
但就是… 你… 你懂我的意思 对吧？ but that's--you--you get what I'm saying, right?
嗯 你说得对 No, you're right.
对 你说得对 Yeah. You're right.
什么？ What?
你太厉害了 You're such a badass.
你才不是 “胆小鬼” You're not a baby back bitch.
我们只需要削减一些开支 We'll just have to cut back on a few things
直到你找到新工作 until you find something else.
或许我们先停掉他的舞蹈课 好吗？ Maybe we pump the brakes on his dance lessons, huh?
嗯 嗯 不行 Mm-hm. Mm, mm.
我们还在付那笔钱吗 We're paying for that?
付很多呢 A lot.
你知道吗 我之前工作的律所还邀请我回去 You know, I still have that open invitation
我可以回去工作 to rejoin my old firm.
我还以为你想在家陪卢卡斯 I thought you wanted to stay home with Lucas.
我是想 但我们也需要收入 对吧？ I do, but we also need an income, right?
所以或许你可以接替我 So maybe you tag in
暂时当全职爸爸 and do the whole stay-at-home dad thing
就一段时间 for a bit.
你想让我在家陪… 陪他一整天吗 You want me to stay at home with--with him all day,
就我和他两个人 just me and him?
只是暂时的 It would just be temporary.
而且这对你和卢卡斯也有好处 Plus, it'd be so good for you and Lucas.
你们会有很多一对一相处的时间 It would give you all this one-on-one time
可以培养感情 to just like bond.
♪ 所以你不能再蹲低了 ♪ ♪ So you can't get low no more ♪
呃！ Ugh!
这样好吗？ Was that good?
非常好 亲爱的 非常好 Very good, sweetie. It was very good.
真的没办法判断 伙计 There's really no way to tell, pal.
♪ 我喜欢度假 我全身都麻木了… ♪ ♪ I love vacation, and I'm all numb--♪
嘿 伙计 Hey, bud.
你不是… 应该在上学吗 Aren't you, uh, supposed to be in school?
不用 今天是教师培训日 No, it's teacher in service day.
那是什么鬼？ The hell is that?
就是老师们学习新的教学方法的日子 It's when teachers learn new techniques
来改进他们的教学 to help them with their teaching.
所以你们就放一天假？ And you get a day off for that?
他们为什么不在自己的… Why don't they work that out on their,
比如 自己的时间里做呢 like, their own time?
嗯 我不知道 但对我们来说是好事 Well, I don't know, but it's good for us.
所以我们今天要做什么？ So what are we gonna do today?
我们 We?
给 这个给你 拼图 Boom. There you are. A puzzle.
看看这个 嗯？ Look at that. Huh?
有两万五千块碎片呢 It's 25,000 pieces.
对 是这样 Yeah, it is.
够拼好几个星期了 That's weeks' worth.
或许甚至一个月 谁知道呢？ Maybe even a month. Who knows?
其实我有点饿了 - 哦 I'm kind of hungry, actually. Oh.
我应该给你做点吃的吗 Am I supposed to cook you something,
还是… - 当然 or-- - Sure
你妈妈平时会这么做吗？ Is that what your mother would do?
嗯 - 好 那… 好 Mm-hmm. All right. Uh, yeah.
我们开始吧 Let's, uh, let's get after it.
对了 你试过间歇性禁食吗 You ever try intermittent fasting, by the way?
间歇性禁食 - 对 禁食 Intermittent fasting? Fasting, yeah.
对结肠特别好 It's amazing for your colon.
我跟你一起 我们都试试 I'm in with you. Let's both do it.
怎么样 What do you say?
好吧 那个… 对不起 Okay, well... I'm sorry.
我就是真的很饿 I'm just really hungry.
好的 - 对不起 Okay. Sorry.
行吧 那个… All right, uh...
妈妈有时候会给我做早餐三明治 Sometimes Mom makes me breakfast sandwiches
用夏威夷国王面包做的 with the King's Hawaiian rolls.
哦 这面包不错 Oh, these are cool.
真的很好吃 我喜欢 These are really good. I like them.
是吧 - 嗯 Yeah. Yeah.
好 那你知道怎么做 All right, so you know what to do with that,
这个… 真的很棒 and that's--that's amazing.
太酷了 - 我也觉得 That's really cool. Yeah, I think so.
好的 - 太好了 All right. Great.
是 是 - 嗯 当然 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure.
你要跟我一起做吗还是… You want to make them with me or...?
不用 你自己来就行 No, you're good.
好 All right.
要不要玩会儿橄榄球 You wanna throw the football around?
练会儿拳击 Do a little boxing?
不要 - 我们可以… Nah. We could do, uh--
不然这样怎么样 How about this?
或者你自己玩点别的也行 Or just do weird crap on your own,
没关系的 that's fine too.
♪ What up, bitch? ♪ ♪ What up, bitch? ♪
但你欠我 50 美元 But you do owe me 50 bucks,
我没跟你开玩笑 I'm not fooling around on that.
我会给你的 I'll give you 50 bucks.
别紧张 - 你才别紧张 Relax. You relax.
我要我的钱 I want my fucking money.
这男的看着像我的戒酒互助会担保人 This dude looks like my AA sponsor.
看着像我的垃圾清运工 Dude looks like my garbage man.
♪ That gold crown ain't really really relaxin' ♪ ♪ That gold crown ain't really really relaxin' ♪
♪ All twenty-six packs on taxes ♪ ♪ All twenty-six packs on taxes ♪
你是谁 Who are you?
我是布莱恩 I'm Brian.
你喜欢聚会吗 布莱恩 Do you party, Brian?
我喜欢聚会吗? Do I party?
嗯 Mm-hmm.
我是说 上大学的时候经常去 I mean, in college, I did, I guess.
我是莱斯利 I'm Leslie.
这是艾维 杰西和玛拉 This is Ivy, Jess and Marla.
我们是妈妈帮 We got the Mama Mafia here.
你好 - 你好 What's up? What's up?
你们好 很高兴认识你们 妈妈帮 Hello. Nice to meet you, uh... Mama Mafia.
你占了我的停车位吗 布莱恩? Did you take my parking spot, Brian?
哦 那是你的吗? Oh, is that yours?
所有灰色的本田奥德赛都是吗? All the gray Honda Odysseys?
全都是 都是你们的吗 All of them, are they all yours?
对 - 市面上最安全的 SUV Yeah. Safest SUV on the market
而且灰色最不容易被偷 and gray's least likely to get stolen.
有问题吗 Is there a problem?
没有 没有 我不知道 No, no, no, I didn't know.
我就是觉得有点不可思议 And it was just felt like crazy to me,
但确实很明智 but crazy sensible.
你们连颜色都一模一样 Like you got the exact same color and everything.
太酷了 It's pretty cool.
要零食吗? - 哦 非常感谢 Snack bag? Oh, thank you very much.
太感谢了 - 这是给孩子们的 I appreciate that. Those are for the kids.
我知道是给他们的 Yeah, I know they are.
还给我 布莱恩 Give it back, Brian.
还给我 布莱恩 Back, Brian.
你吃的零食已经够多了 You've had enough frickin' snacks.
你想加入我们吗? So you want to be in?
想加入妈妈帮吗? You want to join the mafia?
我想加入妈妈帮吗? Do I want to join the Mama Mafia?
对 - 不想 Yeah. No.
我甚至… 我不知道 I don't--I don't even know,
你们妈妈帮到底是做什么的 you know, what the Mama Mafia really is about.
很简单 工作日早上 10 点我们在这 It's easy. Weekdays, we're here at 10 AM,
送孩子来 他们自己玩 we drop the kids, they go apeshit.
中午 12 点 我们组队去奇利斯餐厅吃午饭 Yeah, at 12, we caravan down to Chili's, eat lunch,
然后嗨一下 and get ripped up.
不过主要是去嗨的! But mainly to get ripped up!
要喝点红酒吗 Yeah, you want some wine?
我… 我白天不怎么喝酒? I...I don't drink so much during the day, you know?
要可卡因吗? 艾维有安非他命 You want coke? Ivy's got speed.
不了 现在不行 因为我要看着我儿子 No, not now, 'cause I'm watching my, uh, son. Um--
不过你得把这件防风衣换掉 You're gonna have to lose the windbreaker, though.
哦 - 要加入我们得通过考验? Oh. You want to get jumped in?
通过考验 - 对? Jumped in? Yeah.
不用脱衣服 You can keep your clothes on.
呃 现在不行 你知道吗? Uh, not right away. You know what it is?
哦 是卢卡斯 Oh, that's Lucas.
好 那是我儿子 Okay, that's my boy.
他总爱到处跑 我妻子给他 He's a wanderer and my wife got him
装了个可穿戴的 GPS 追踪器 this wearable GPS tracker.
你这件夹克是你妻子挑的吗 - 可能是吧 Did your wife pick your jacket? She might have.
回头见 I'll see you later.
呃… - 不 你见不到的 布莱恩 Uh-- - No, you won't, Brian.
好吧 - 你绝对见不到 Okay . -You freaking won't.
最好别见 好了 卢卡斯 I hope not. All right, Lucas,
我们试试传螺旋球 let's just try to throw a spiral,
懂我意思吗 - 好 you know what I'm saying? Okay.
螺旋球 你要把你的手 Spiral. You want to position your hand
放在球的后半部分 on the back quarter of the ball.
来 就这样 要传得又稳又转 Here you go. It's just a nice, tight spiral.
又稳又转 Nice and tight.
好 行 你能把那个捡起来吗? Okay. All right. Can you pick that one up?
我爱你 爸爸 - 嗯 没事 Love you, Dad. Yeah, no worries.
试着接住 好吗 Try to catch those, okay?
这样才有意思 Makes it so much more fun.
不是这样传的 That wasn't it.
对不起 - 没事 I'm sorry. Okay.
对不起 是我的错 Sorry. My bad.
这肯定要搞砸 This is gonna suck.
找准角度 我看到了 Thread that needle, I see it.
这样好吗? Was that good?
这个更… 不算找准角度 That's more-- that wasn't threaded,
更像是乱甩 that was more crochet.
行吧 All right.
好了 卢卡斯 我们加把劲 All right, Lucas, let's turn it up a notch.
怎么样 好吗? What do you say, okay?
看到我怎么做了吗? See what I'm doin'?
好 你要试着接住 Okay, you try to catch those though.
必须接住 要贴在胸口接 That's what you got to do. You take it right in the chest.
嘿 给你个小技巧 Hey, give you a little tip.
传螺旋球要靠手指发力 It's these fingers for a spiral.
嗯 我知道怎么传螺旋球 Yeah, I know how to throw a spiral.
可能是因为你手太小了 It's probably because you got tiny hands.
手这么小确实不好传 It can be tricky with little mitts like that.
你得这样调整握球姿势 You just got to adjust your grip like this.
不用 那个… 我是说 稍微调一点也行 You don't, well-- I mean a little bit, yeah.
嘿 我们玩个游戏怎么样? Hey, what do you say we play a game?
不了 不用 我就是… Nah, I'm good. I'm just...
你想玩二对二吗? You thinking like a little two-on-two?
不想 我根本没这么想 No, I'm not thinking that at all.
行 真有意思 CJ 去防他儿子 Okay, fun. CJ, go cover his kid! Here.
我甚至没… - 开球 开球 I didn't even-- - Hike it. Hike the ball.
我都不知道我们在干什么 I don't even know what we're doing.
嘿 贴紧点防 贴紧点 Hey, stay tight on him. Stay tight.
我们就这么玩 - 开球 伙计 That's all we're doing. Hike it, dude.
我都不知道规则 - 准备好了吗 准备好了吗 I don't even know the rules. Ready? Ready?
你就不能听我的吗 我的天? Can you just listen? Oh my God!
哦 看 他们已经成朋友了 Oh look, they're friends already.
摇摆起来 姑娘 过来拿 Shake it, girl, come and get it.
你能别压着我吗 Do you mind, uh, getting off me?
当爸爸的感觉怎么样? Fatherhood, huh?
来吧 Come on.
好 Okay.
哦 看 你儿子在跟我儿子抓虫子呢 Oh, look, your kid's catching a bug with my little bugger.
哦 这下他们能玩一会儿了 Oh, that should keep them busy for a while.
是我错了 I stand corrected.
CJ 放开它 CJ, let it go!
不 放下它! No! Drop it!
嗯 Hmm.
这小子总爱把东西往嘴里放 Dude's always putting stuff in his mouth.
你儿子也经历过这个阶段吗? Your kid ever go through that phase?
可能一岁的时候吧 Maybe when he was one.
是啊 我们这阶段持续得久一点 Yeah, we're taking a little longer.
我叫杰夫 Name's Jeff.
呃 我是布莱恩 Uh, Brian.
好极了 Outstanding.
你有人叫你 “布布” 吗? You ever go by “Bri-Bri”?
没有 - 哦 别这样 No. Oh, come on.
“布布” 多酷啊 伙计 Bri-Bri is a badass name, dude.
我在部队的时候认识个叫 “布布” 的 I knew a Bri-Bri in the army once.
“布布” 曾经用塔利班分子的断臂 Bri-Bri once used a severed arm of a Taliban
拆除了下水道里的简易爆炸装置 to diffuse an IED in a sewer.
我好想 “布布” I miss Bri-Bri.
他是在执行任务时牺牲的吗? Was he killed in action?
不是 从墨西哥卷饼店出来的时候被货车撞死了 No, got crushed by a van leaving Chipotle.
那叫 “布” 怎么样 酷吗 What about one Bri? Is that cool?
行吧 - 好 布… Sure. Okay, Bri...
布 Bri.
好了 卢卡斯 我们走了 伙计 Okay. Uh, Lucas. Let's get going, bud.
怎么样 懂吗? - 现在就走吗? What do you say, you know? Already?
对 - 我们才刚到这儿 Yeah. We just got here.
我知道 但你妈妈希望我们回去 Yeah, I know but your mother wanted us back
吃晚饭之类的 for dinner and things.
我们得准备一下 We got to get ready.
爸爸 现在才早上 10 点 - 我… Dad, it's 10 in the morning. I...
而且 CJ 邀请我去他家了 But CJ invited me over his house.
他刚搬来这儿 He just moved here
他说他家后院有棵树 and he said there's a tree in his backyard
长得特别像马克・鲁法洛 that looks just like Mark Ruffalo.
像得不可思议 Freakin' uncanny.
我们就是因为这个才租这儿的 It's why we rented the place.
所以我们能去他家吗 求你了? So can we go over their house, please?
CJ 人很好的 CJ's cool.
他说我的连帽衫超酷 He said my hoodie's dope.
这连帽衫确实挺酷的 It is a pretty dope ass hoodie.
求你了 Please?
行 行 好吧 为什么不呢 Sure, sure. All right. Why not.
太棒了 伙计 !- 嗯 好 Hell yeah, dude! Yeah, okay.
太赞了! Fuck yeah!
CJ 游戏开始了! CJ, game on!
他们要来我们家了 兄弟 They're coming to our place, bro.
击个掌 Up high.
哦 - 嗯 Whoa. Mm.
他还不太会击掌 Doesn't totally get high fives.
你想跳舞吗 You wanna dance?
我说认输 I said submit!
认输 Submit!
不 CJ !不 放开 No, CJ! No! Release.
CJ 住手 CJ, stand down!
CJ 别这样! CJ, stop it!
这小家伙力气真大 Little dude's super strong.
哦 是啊 Oh, yeah.
你们先过去 我先让他安静下来 You guys go on ahead while I put him out real quick.
好 行 - 好 行 Okay, yeah. Okay, yeah.
睡吧 睡吧 - 我们先走了 Go to sleep. Sleep. We're gonna go.
我太兴奋能来这儿了 I'm so excited to be here.
是啊 别太放松 好吗? Yeah, don't get too comfortable, all right?
我把我们的位置发给你妈妈了 以防万一 I texted your mom our location, you know, just in case.
以防万一什么? Well, just in case what?
以防这男的杀了我们 In case the guy murders us.
嘿 - 嘿 Hey! Hey.
进来 进来 - 嘿 CJ 怎么样? Come in, come in. Hey, CJ. What's up?
好 - 别放手 Okay. Don't let go.
好 All right.
好了 - 嗯 There we go. Yeah.
嘿 我没事 Hey, I'm good.
想你了 伙计 - 嗯 很高兴见到你 Missed you, buddy. Yeah, nice to see you.
我们还在收拾 We're still unpacking,
但我已经为你们打扫过了 but I did clean the place up for you.
对不起 我太累了 伙计 Sorry. I'm beat, man.
嗯 - CJ 几乎不睡觉 Yeah. CJ barely sleeps.
每晚能睡两小时就不错了 Lucky if he gets two hours a night.
两小时 这肯定不健康 Two hours? That can't be healthy.
嗯 没事的 Yeah, it's fine.
有句老话说得好不是吗 What's that old saying?
小孩就像马一样 Kids are like horses?
不 从来没人这么说过 No, no one's ever said that at all.
哇 你当过兵吗 Wow. Were you in the Army?
当过 I was.
这是我和库尔特兹上校的合影 Well, that's Bri-Bri with Commander Colonel Kurtz.
第一特种作战分遣队的 First Special Forces Operational Detachment.
三角洲特种部队 Delta Force.
哇 三角洲特种部队 Whoa. Delta Force?
对 你知道吗 有一次 Yeah. You know, one time,
我亲眼看到两个人脑袋被炸飞 I saw two guys get their heads blown off.
有个人死在我怀里 One guy bled out in my arms
我眼睁睁看着他慢慢死去 while I slowly watched him die.
很恶心对吧 Sick, right?
是吧 - 嗯 Right? Mm-hmm.
我的天 - 哇 Jesus. Wow.
真是疯狂的故事 Pretty crazy story.
我肯定你还有很多这样的故事 但如果你说了 I'm sure you got a lot more, but if you tell me,
你就得杀了我 对吧 you're gonna have to kill me, right?
我确实得杀了你 I am gonna have to kill you.
嘿 嘿 嘿 别激动 Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy!
嘿 Hey!
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
哦 我的天 对不起 里面还有剩的 Oh, my God. I'm sorry. There was some left in there.
哦 天呐 Oh, God.
这是番茄酱分配器 It's a ketchup dispenser.
还配了个芥末枪 Came with a matching mustard gun.
是不是很有趣 Isn't that fun?
我去给你拿张纸巾 Let me get you a paper towel.
嘿 爸爸 爸爸 Hey, Dad. Dad.
杰夫是不是超酷超强壮 Isn't Jeff super cool and strong,
你看他多高大 and look how big he is.
是 他是很高大 但那是遗传 懂吗 Yeah, he's big, but it's-- it's genetics, you know?
我是说 他爸爸肯定也很高大 I mean, I'm sure his dad was very big,
他妈妈可能是头美洲野牛 and his mother was an American bison.
而且 人长得这么高大 寿命通常不长 Plus, when you get that big, you don't live that long.
行了 随便你怎么说 Okay, whatever.
呃 CJ 要不要去外面 Uh, CJ, want to go outside
我再给你展示些舞蹈动作 so I can show you some more dance moves?
太好啦 Hell yeah!
哦 你不介意他这么说脏话吗 Oh, you're okay with him cursing like that?
介意什么 言语又伤不到人 Yeah, words can't hurt anyone.
最坏的情况就是 我让他去睡觉 Worst case, I tell him to go to bed,
他骂我是龅牙贱人 he calls me a buck-tooth bitch.
好吧 All right.
要是你不介意我问的话 CJ 的妈妈在哪 If you don't mind me asking, I mean, where's CJ's mom?
哦 她几个月前去世了 Oh, she passed away a few months ago.
对 她之前病得很重 Yeah, she was real sick.
听到这个消息我很抱歉 Sorry to hear about that.
没事 她反正也活不久了 That's all right. She was gonna die anyway.
所以我们才搬到这个新镇子 That's why we moved to a new town.
重新开始 懂吗 Make a fresh start, you know?
之前做安保工作攒了些钱 Had some money saved up from a security gig.
我想趁 CJ 适应的这段时间 Thought I'd do the stay-at-home-dad thing
做个全职爸爸 while CJ gets acclimated.
你呢 What about you?
你妻子也去世了吗 Your wife croak too?
没有 她还好好的在上班呢 No. She's alive and well at work.
哦 - 嗯 Oh. Yeah.
她是个律师 我是法务会计 She's a lawyer. I'm a forensic accountant.
哦 法务相关的 Oh, forensics?
像验尸之类的吗 Like autopsies and stuff?
是法务会计 Forensic accountant.
哦 那可真无聊 Oh, that's boring.
对了 CJ 这两个字母代表什么 So what does CJ stand for anyway?
克里斯托弗・吉夫 Christopher Jif.
像那个花生酱品牌吗 - 嗯 Like the peanut butter? Uh-huh.
就像这罐花生酱吗 Like this peanut butter?
就是你说吉夫之前盯着看的那罐 The one you looked at right before you said Jif?
是 我看花生酱是因为 Yeah, I looked at the peanut butter
我在想给我们做些花生酱三明治 because I was thinking of making us
那是 CJ 妈妈最爱的食物 some peanut butter sandwiches,
所以他的中间名才叫吉夫 which was CJ's mom's favorite food,
就是这个原因 which is why his middle name is Jif.
哦 嘿 看这个 这是我列的清单 Oh, hey, look at that fun list of stuff I did for me and CJ
写的是他妈妈去世后我和他要做的事 to do now that his mom went tits-up.
第一条 交新朋友 - 已完成 One, make new friends. Check.
去巴克奶酪店 - 哦 我爱去巴克奶酪店 Go to Buckee Cheese. Oh, love Buckee Cheese.
在沙漠里喝死藤水 Do ayahuasca in the desert.
他肯定会喜欢的 He's gonna love that.
吓唬街对面的胖女人 Freak out the fat lady across the street.
爸爸 爸爸 Dad? Dad?
后院有个人在盯着我们看 There's a guy in the backyard watching us.
在哪 Where?
卢卡斯只是在开玩笑 Lucas is just kidding.
没有 我没开玩笑 我说真的 No, I'm not. I'm serious.
外面真的有个人 There's a guy out there.
他就那样盯着我们 - 别闹了 卢卡斯 He's just staring at us. Come on, Lucas.
嘿 我有个主意 Hey, I got an idea.
我们去吃午饭怎么样 Why don't we go get lunch?
你们喜欢巴克奶酪店吗 - 喜欢 You guys like Buckee Cheese? Sure.
你们可以帮我们把这条划掉 You can help us cross it off the list.
我们能去吗 爸爸 - 当然可以 Can we, Dad? Of course we can.
呃 他还有舞蹈课要上 Uh, you know, he's got a dance lesson.
没有 我没有 No, I don't.
希望没人对乐趣过敏 Hope no one's allergic to fun.
反正我不过敏 I know I'm not.
好 孩子们 上车吧 Okay. Pile in, boys.
怎么全是灰色的奥德赛车啊 What the hell is with all the gray Odysseys?
这太好玩了 对吧 This is awesome, right?
你真烂 - 变态 You suck. Creeper.
天呐 这孩子真大胆 Man, that kid is fearless.
你看他倒挂在… Look at him hanging upside down from--
他倒挂在什么上面啊 what's he hanging upside down on?
是洒水系统 That would be the sprinkler system.
哦 好吧 你知道人们怎么说的 Oh. Well, you know what they say.
孩子摔破头才能长记性 A kid falls and cracks his skull,
对吧 - 嗯 不对 that's how they learn, right? Mm, no.
不 不是那样的… No, that's not how they--
没人这么说过 no one's ever said that.
你看他多开心 Look at how happy he is.
你知道吗 这是我第一次 You know, this is the first time
看到他笑 I've ever seen him smile.
你从来… 你从来没见过你儿子笑吗 You never--you never seen your kid smile?
自从他妈妈去世后就没见过了 Since his mom died.
是啊 我… 我很抱歉 Yeah, like, I'm--I'm--I'm sorry.
你知道 我无法想象你们… You know, I can't imagine what you guys--
天呐 上帝真好 Man, God is so good.
你知道吗 我儿子第一天交到新朋友 You know, the first day my son meets his new best friend,
我也交到了 so did I.
笨蛋 Fathead.
你想组个乐队吗 - 不想 Do you want to start a band? No.
呃 那个 杰夫 我… 我 Um, well, you know, uh--Jeff, look, I--I--
首先 这一切… 这一切都很棒 First of all, this is--this is great.
我知道 - 嗯 而且你 I know. Yeah, and you...
你看起来是个很好的人 you just seem like a great guy.
真的 你很合拍 You do. You got the thing.
但是… 但是事情发展得有点太快了 And--and things are moving kind of fast with this whole thing.
我最近生活里事情很多 Like, a lot is going on in my life right now
而且感觉 你知道吗 你要求的有点多 and it feels like, you know, you're asking a lot, you know?
首先 我想跟你说说我自己 So first of all, I want to tell you about myself.
我最近刚结婚 I've recently got married.
我得专注在婚姻上 It just feels like I gotta concentrate on that.
当你还不太了解一个人 You really can't be best friends
而且事情发展得太快时 with somebody when things are moving so fast
是没法成为最好的朋友的 when you don't know someone so well.
我是说… 哦 不 不是的 I mean--Oh, no, no.
听着 我不是… 我不是那个意思 Listen, I didn't mean-- I didn't mean it like that.
你好 女士 Hello, miss.
我能用 500 张票换超级袜子吗 Can I get the super socks for 500 tickets, please?
谢谢 Thanks.
哇 Whoa.
我的天 Holy shit!
伙计 搞什么 - 你把他脸打破了 Dude, what the hell? You broke his face!
对不起 我以为他是我朋友 Sorry, I thought he was a friend of mine.
我的天 Holy shit!
不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no! Aahhh!
你好啊 Well, hello.
陪我玩玩吧 小家伙 Play with me, camper.
不要 No.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God!
我的天 这是真的吗 Holy shit! Is this real?
快来人帮帮我们 Somebody help us!
别碰我 Get your hands off me.
抱一个 Give me a hug!
不 不要抱 - 爱我嘛 No, no hug. Love me!
离我远点 你这个变态 Get the hell away from me, you freaking weirdo.
啊 别这样 Aahh! Please stop!
哦 我的天 妈妈 Oh my God. Mommy!
嘿 给我… 嘿 Hey, give me--hey!
哦 亮晶晶的 Ooh, shiny.
蠢货 Stupid!
谁想被挠痒痒啊 Who wants to be tickled?
够了 - 伙计 That's enough. Dude.
就抱一下嘛 Just give me a hug, man.
你碰到我赘肉了 You just grabbed love handles.
不能这么做 You don't do that.
不 不 不 No, no, no!
别像个小孩一样 Don't be such a baby!
抱一个 伙计 Give me a hug, man!
你有毛病吧 What's your problem?
笑一个 - 拍照啊 Smile! Take the photo!
笑一个 - 快拍照 伙计 Smile! Take the photo, man!
放松点 Just relax!
我才不付钱 - 你必须付 I'm not paying for that. Yes, you are.
谢谢 露西 - 别这样 Thanks, Lucy! Stop it.
哦 混蛋 Ow! Asshole!
欢迎来到丛林 贱人 Welcome to the jungle, bitch!
我要揍扁你 I'm gonna kick your ass!
你怎么找到我的 How'd you find me?
你怎么…
好了 射手们… All right, shooters...
… 跳个乡村舞 ...hoedown.
… 跳起来 开拍 ...moves, shoot it! Let them critters have it!
来吧 大贱人 Come on, big bitch!
好 - 该死的… Okay. Yippee ki-yay, mother--!
嘿 爸爸 - 嘿 孩子们 Hey, Dad! Hey, guys.
看来你们错过超棒的巴克奶酪店了 Guess you missed freakin' Buckee.
真是太… What a freakin'--
嘿 看 披萨来了 Hey, look at that, pizza's here.
太谢谢你了 Thank you so much.
好了 孩子们 开吃吧 All right, guys, dig in.
那是什么 What's that?
什么是什么 What is what?
你以前没吃过披萨吗 Haven't you ever had pizza before?
没有 No.
你… 你爸爸从没带你来吃过披萨吗 Your--your dad's never taken you for pizza?
杰夫不是我爸爸 Jeff's not my dad.
杰夫不是你爸爸 Jeff's not your dad?
不是 No.
那… 那他是谁 Who... who is he?
我不知道 I don't know.
他就是把我带走了 He just took me.
好了 够了 我就知道有问题 All right, that's it. I knew something was wrong.
所有人都起来 起来 现在立即起来 Everybody get up, get up. Get up right now.
跟我走 Come with me.
我们走 Let's go.
听着 女士 这是紧急情况 好吗? Look, ma'am, this is an emergency, okay?
他的手环和你的不匹配 His wristband doesn't match yours.
好吧，你对孩子没问题 Okay, you're--you're okay with a kid
你不管 dangling from a sprinkler system,
可现在一个成年人要带走 but all of a sudden an adult wants to leave
不是他的孩子 你就管了 with a kid that's not his,
你就有意见了？ and you have a problem with that?
我不是那意思 但你看… 你看 That didn't come out right, but look--look,
我看起来像坏人吗？ do I--do I look like a predator?
像 Yeah.
是因为这件防风衣吗？ Is it the windbreaker?
是 Yeah.
不是！ No!
别激动！ Slow down!
抱歉 - 你认识这个男人吗？ Sorry. Look, do you know this man?
不认识 这些人我一个都不认识 No. I don't know any of these people.
你撒谎 你明明在撒谎 That's a lie. That's a lie right there.
你骗人 我们今天在公园见过的 You lie. We met today at the park.
你不记得我们… - 巴克 谢了啊 You don't remember meeting us-- - Buckee, thank you.
拜托了 - 怎么了 兄弟？ Please. What's up, pal?
行吧 - 你现在耍横了？ Okay. You're a tough guy now?
这事儿我们早说过了 We've been through this already.
巴克 小心！ - 我靠 Buckee, look out! Oh, shit.
巴克！我的天！ Buckee! Holy shit!
过来 兄弟 Come here, man.
你们跟紧我 别离开我 You guys stay with me. Stay with me.
嘿 卢卡斯 别跑 Hey, Lucas, stop.
嘿 相信我 你没得选 Hey, trust me, you don't have a choice.
上车 孩子们 系好安全带 Hop in, boys. Seat belts.
嘿 为什么 CJ 说你不是他爸爸？ Hey, why did CJ tell us you're not his dad?
因为我本来就不是 Because I'm not.
行 卢卡斯 下车 Okay. Lucas, get out of the van.
我下不了 I can't.
我受够这破事了 I'm sick of this shit.
放马过来 贱人 Bring it, bitch.
你到底是谁？ Who the hell are you?
那是谁？ Who's that guy?
一个想杀你的人 A guy who wants to kill you.
他们是谁？ - 他们也想杀你 Who are they? They want to kill you, too.
为什么？ - 因为他们觉得你知道些什么 Why? Because they think you know.
知道什么？ Know what?
上车 布布！ Get in, Bri!
该死！老天！ Shit! Man!
我什么都不知道 I don't know anything.
他们为什么会觉得我知道？ Why would they think I know?
♪ 二十个人在门外敲门 因为还想要更多 ♪ ♪ Twenty people knocking 'cos they're wanting some more ♪
♪ 让我进去 宝贝 我不知道你有什么 ♪ ♪ Let me in baby, I don't know what you've got ♪
爸爸 怎么回事？ - 没事 Dad, what's going on? Nothing.
我们就是闹着玩而已 We're just having a little fun.
就是玩玩 对吧 伙计们？ It's just some fun, right guys?
你们玩得开心吗？ - 不怎么开心 You guys having fun? Not really.
行 现在立刻系好安全带！ Okay, get those seat belts on now!
他有枪！ He's got a gun!
不 不是的 那到底是什么鬼东西？ No, no. What the hell is that?
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
我们可是在高速上 We're on a freeway.
就告诉我到底怎么回事 Just tell me what the hell is going on.
嘿 小家伙们 戴上耳机 Hey buddies, put some headphones on
把我后面的 DVD 随便放一张 and throw in one of my DVDs back there.
汉尼拔・莱克特医生 Doctor Hannibal Lecter.
你就不能告诉我吗？ Can you just tell me?
听着 他们不是冲我来的 Look, they're not after me.
他们是冲 CJ 来的 They're after CJ.
CJ？他们为什么冲他来？ CJ? Why are they after him?
因为我把他从一群坏人手里救出来了 Because I rescued him from some very bad people.
什么… 什么样的坏人？ What--what kind of bad people?
我不知道 就是坏人 - 行了 够了 I don't know, bad people. Okay, that's it.
帮个忙 现在就停车 Do me a favor, pull--pull over right now.
让我们下去 - 哦 没门 Let us out. Oh, no way.
你也有份 You've got one too.
搞什么鬼？你在开玩笑吗？ What the hell? Are you kidding me?
哦 你的儿童绑架通缉照 Oh, your child abduction photo
比我的好看多了 is way better than mine.
安珀兄弟 Amber Bros.
行 现在立刻停车 Okay, pull the car over right now.
我要报警 就这样 你完了 I'm calling the cops. That's it, you're done.
考虑到现在有安珀警报 这可能不是个好主意 Probably not a good idea
对吧？ with the whole Amber alert and all, huh?
我的手机呢？ The hell's my phone?
该死！ Fuck!
我把它落在巴克奶酪店了 I left it at Buckee Cheese.
我才不回头 布布 I'm not turning around, Bri-Bri.
巴克奶酪店的女服务员觉得我 The hostess at Buckee Cheese thought I was,
你知道的 在绑架孩子 you know, kidnapping the kids.
我看起来像恋童癖吗？ Do I look like a child predator?
就是因为这件防风衣 It's the windbreaker.
艾米丽来电 Incoming call from Emily.
爸爸 为什么妈妈给杰夫打电话？ Dad, why is Mom calling Jeff?
哦 呃 因为我把杰夫的联系方式给妈妈了 Oh, uh, because I gave Mom Jeff's contact info
以防… - 以防什么？ in case-- - In case what?
以防事情进展顺利 In case things went really well,
然后我们就成了 比如 最好的朋友 and then we became, like, best friends.
我们现在就是 比如 在一起玩 We're all just, like, hanging out together.
就像 嘿… It's like, hey--
我们可不想让她失望 Well, we don't want to disappoint her.
不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no.
艾米丽！嘿 亲爱的 最近好吗？ Emily! Hey, how you doing sweetie?
哦 你好 呃 你是杰夫吗？ Oh, hi. Um, is this Jeff?
跟我说说吧 姑娘 Hit me with it girl.
我迫不及待想当面见你了 I can't wait to meet you in person.
我听布莱恩说了好多你的好话 I've heard so many good things.
好 嘿… - 布莱恩一直跟我提你 Okay, hey-- - Brian won't shut up about you.
嘿 艾米 - 嘿 Hey. Hey.
杰夫听起来人不错啊 Jeff sounds so nice.
你之前还说他是个蠢兮兮的怪咖 You said he was some kind of like dumbass weirdo.
不 不 不 不 他不是怪咖 No, no, no, no. He's not a weirdo.
不 不 不 我说他是 “活宝咖” No, no, no. I said he's like a speirdo.
他特别有活力 还很有趣 He carries a lot of spirit and funness.
哦 活宝咖啊？ Oh, a speirdo?
哇 没想到你还能交到朋友 Well, look at you making friends.
哦 厉害啊 Oh, wow.
你们该不会在高速上飙车吧？ Are you guys in like a high speed chase or something?
今天第二回了 Second one today.
够疯狂的 是吧？ Crazy shit, right?
确实够疯的 It's insane indeed.
嘿 那个会议怎么样了？ Hey, how's that conference going?
其实还挺多事儿的 Pretty eventful, actually.
你绝对猜不到我碰到谁了 You'll never guess who I ran into.
太赞了 帮我跟他问好 That's awesome. Say hi for me.
系好安全带 孩子们 Buckle in, boys.
你要干什么？ What are you doing?
放松 布布 Relax, Bri.
交给我就好 Just let me do my thing.
♪ 这是夜晚的节奏 ♪ ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪
♪ 夜晚啊… ♪ ♪ The night... ♪
♪ 这是夜晚的节奏 ♪ ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪
嘿 嘿 慢点 Hey, hey. Slow down.
你会撞死人的 You're gonna kill someone.
嘿 嘿 嘿！ Hey, hey, hey!
♪ 带我去往… ♪ ♪ Take me to the... ♪
你疯了吗？ What are you crazy?
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
♪ 感觉你又给了我爱 ♪ ♪ Feel you give me love again ♪
哇哦 Whoa.
♪ 我们一次次兜兜转转 每次我都听见你说 ♪ ♪ Round and round we go each time I hear you say ♪
♪ 这是夜晚的节奏 ♪ ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪
♪ 夜晚啊 哦耶 ♪ ♪ The night, oh yeah ♪
嘿 停下！ Hey, stop!
停下！ - 不 不行 Stop! No, no, no.
让开 - 不 不 不 Move. No, no, no.
让开 Move.
让开 - 不！ Move. No!
让开 Move.
看路标啊！ Read the signs!
那就是建议而已 They're suggestions.
♪ 夜晚的节奏 ♪ ♪ The rhythm of the night ♪
手放方向盘上！手放方向盘上！ Hands on the wheel! Hands on the wheel!
哦 我的天！ Oh my God!
冲啊 冲啊 冲啊！ Go, go, go!
不！我的天！ No! Holy shit!
嘿 有小孩！ - 小孩 Hey, there's a baby! Baby.
有小孩！ There's a baby!
快跑！ Run!
你是故意要撞人吗？ Are you purposely trying to hit people?
没有 哦 该死 - 不！ Uh-uh. Oh, shit. No!
♪ 这是夜晚的节奏 ♪ ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪
♪ 夜晚啊 ♪ ♪ The night ♪
♪ 哦 耶 ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
哈哈 Ha-ha.
- ♪ 夜晚的节奏 ♪ - 都怪你 - ♪ The rhythm of the night ♪ - It's you.
不！ - 就是你的错 No! It's on you.
握住方向盘 好 Take the wheel. All right.
哇哦！ - 继续开 Whoo! Keep going.
小心！哦 我的天 Look out! Oh, my God.
这儿出问题了吗？ We got a problem here?
出问题了吗？ We got a problem?
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
爸爸 是警察 Dad, the police.
哦 我的天！真的假的？ Oh my god! Are you serious?
还想让我停车吗？ Still want me to pull over?
别忘了 你可是儿童绑架犯 Remember, you're a child abductor.
爸爸 你是儿童绑架犯？ You're a child abductor, Dad?
戴上耳机 - 他就是 Put your headphones on. He is.
老天 我们该怎么办？ Man, what are we gonna do?
砰！他们人还挺好 是吧？ Boom! That was cool of them, right?
看这个 Look at this.
就像我们的部落 It's like our tribe.
妈妈帮 The Mama Mafia.
一群喝醉的足球妈妈 A bunch of drunk ass soccer moms.
可能正去吃午饭呢 Probably on their way to have lunch.
吃什么啊？ What kind of food?
♪ 他们想让我进去 ♪ ♪ They wanna let me in ♪
♪ 但他们在看我的比赛 体育频道 ♪ ♪ but they're watching my game ESPN ♪
♪ 研究我的动作 想模仿… ♪ ♪ studying the moves, trying to replicate... ♪
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
居然有个恋童癖开我们同款车 A fricking pedo drives one of ours.
你… 你要干什么？ What--what are you doing?
混进去 布布 看好了 Blending in, Bri. Watch this shit.
慢点 慢点 哇哦 哇哦！ Easy, easy. Whoa, whoa!
她干什么呢？ What the hell's she doing?
你到底要干什么？ - 听着 我不能被认出来 What the hell are you doing? Look, I can't be seen.
你可是有安珀警报的 兄弟 You got an Amber alert on you, bro.
我觉得我们早就过那阶段了 I think we're way past that.
女士们 我们的大日子终于来了 Ladies, our day has finally come.
Parkway 上有恋童癖 就在我后面 Pedo on the parkway, and he's right behind me.
哦 我的天 莱斯利 怎么办？ Oh my god, Leslie. What do we do?
摆出菱形阵形 Assume the diamond formation.
这就是我们训练的目的 女士们 This is what we train for, ladies.
收到 我要上了 Roger that. I'm going in.
掩护我 玛拉 Watch my six, Marla.
阉了这个混蛋… Let's castrate this mother--
哇哦 哇哦 嘿 嘿 你怎么减速了？ Whoa. Whoa. Hey, hey. Why are you slowing down?
因为你的姐妹们把我包围了 Cuz your girlfriends are boxing me in.
好戏开始了 布布 It's on, Bri.
我要狠狠撞她们了 I'm gonna ram the shit out of ‘em.
对 撞她们 Yeah, ram ‘em.
不 别撞她们 No, do not ram them.
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
她还挺辣 兄弟 - 别打她主意 She's hot, bro. Don't start with her.
伙计 她可不好惹 Dude, she's a firecracker.
我觉得我下不了手杀她 I don't think I can kill this one.
什么？ What?
哇哦 该死 Whoa. Shit.
干什么呢 贱人？ What up, bitch?
哦 我是贱人？ Oh, I'm the bitch?
我是贱人？！ I'm the bitch?!
求你了 别想着杀她行吗？ Can we not try and kill her, please?
伊莱！伊莱 把耳机摘了 Eli! Eli, take your earphones out.
从妈妈包里拿电击枪 Get Mama's taser from her purse.
不 不是那个 是另一个电击枪 No, not that one, the other taser.
对 宝贝 该用你的《堡垒之夜》技巧了 Yeah, you're gonna put your Fortnite skills to use, sweetie.
看到前座那个混蛋了吗？ See that dickface in the front seat?
没有 No.
那男人是个变态 That's man's a pervert.
宝贝 我们怎么对付变态？ What do we do to perverts, honey?
用电击枪电他的蛋蛋 We zap him in the ball sack.
电脸也行 宝贝 Face works too, honey.
让妈妈为你骄傲 Make Mama proud.
那小跟班想搞我 伙计 Little minion's trying to execute me, dude.
把窗户关上就行 Just shut the window.
我不会退缩的 布莱恩 I'm not backing down, Brian.
他是敌人 - 他才 12 岁！ He's the enemy. He's 12!
就是啊！ Exactly!
伊莱 你还在等什么？ Eli, what the hell are you waiting for?
放倒他！ Take him down!
你不敢的 你就是个废物 兄弟 You ain't gonna do it. You ain't shit, bro.
你就是个废物！ You ain't shit!
哦 我的天！ Oh my god!
你看到了吗？ Did you just see that?
爸爸 他们没停！ Dad, they're not stopping!
我们该怎么办？ What are we gonna do?
放松 布布 Relax, Bri.
事情总会有解决办法的 These things have a way of working themselves out.
哦 Ooh.
看到了吧 布布？ You see what I'm saying, Bri?
哇哦！太棒了！ Woo! Yes!
哦 太赞了 击个拳 伙计！ Oh my, pound it, dude!
击拳！ - 不！ Pound it! No!
我才不跟你击拳！ I'm not pounding it!
哇哦！ - 哇哦！ Whoo! Whoo!
行了 够了 我们走了 All right, that's it. We're out of here.
没错 Totally.
我们喘口气 布布 Let's take a breather, Bri-Bri.
别叫我布布 好吗？ Stop calling me Bri-Bri, okay?
我们不是朋友 We're not friends.
哇哦 Wow.
那是什么鬼东西？ What the hell is that?
都怪你那讨厌的安珀警报 Thanks to your creepy Amber alert,
我们得再偷一辆 we got to steal another one.
你偷的？ You stole that?
你觉得我会买这么个破面包车？ You think I bought some bitch-ass minivan?
行了 CJ 卢卡斯 我们走 That's it. CJ, Lucas, we are going.
我们离开这儿 We're out of here.
你不能带走 CJ You're not taking CJ.
哦 我当然能 Oh, I absolutely am.
你要去哪儿？ - 回家 Where are you gonna go? Home.
离开这儿 Out of here.
远离这该死的疯狂 Away from this freaking insanity.
是啊 Yeah.
哦 我的天！ Oh, my God!
这主意可不妙 布布 Not a good idea, Bri-Bri.
真的吗？为什么？ Really? Why not?
因为他们会找到你和你的家人 ‘Cause they're gonna find you and your family
然后把你们一个个都杀了 and murder the shit out of every last one of you.
你有毛病吧？ What's your problem?
嘿 卢卡斯 别离开我的视线 好吗？ Hey, Lucas, stay in eyesight, huh?
他们怎么会找到我 哈？ How are they gonna find me, huh?
因为他们找到我了 布布 Cause they found me, Bri.
我开了 200 英里才甩开他们 And I drove 200 miles to escape 'em.
呃 Ugh.
行 Okay.
等等 Wait.
要是我跟你说这事 你得保证 Okay, if I tell you the story, you gotta promise
保持开放心态 to keep an open mind.
你看起来不像是会保持开放心态的 You don't look like you're gonna keep an open mind.
我会保持开放心态的 你赶紧说行不行 I will keep an open mind. Can you just go?
还记得我退伍后找的那份安保工作吗 So remember that security gig I took when I left the army?
那工作是在一栋绝密大楼里 Well, it was at this top secret building.
我不知道那楼是谁的 也不知道里面搞什么 I didn't know who owned it or what went on in there
因为他们压根不让我进去 because I was never allowed inside.
那活儿还挺累人的 The job was pretty strenuous.
要解决的事儿可多了 Lots of problem solving.
还能假装自己是 “功夫熊猫” And I got to pretend I was Kung Fu freaking Panda,
那感觉简直不要太爽 which was pretty freaking awesome.
哈呀 Hiya!
他们就只让我在周边巡逻 So all I was told to do was patrol the area
还有接受随机药检 哎哟 and submit to random drug tests,Ow.
我都不知道自己是怎么通过的 which I have no idea how I passed,
因为我根本就不可能通过啊 'cause there's like literally no chance I passed.
总之吧 我在那栋绝密大楼上班的时候 Anyway, so when I was working this top secret building,
唯一见过的其他员工 the only other employee I ever saw there
是个留胡子的家伙 was this bearded dude
长得跟扎克・加利凡纳基斯一模一样 who looked just like Zach Galifianakis.
不过不是他本人 我问过他一次 他说 But it wasn't him, 'cause I asked him once and he said,
“不是 但我老被人这么说” "No, but I get that all the time."
你知道不 我们压根不能说自己的真名 You see, we were never allowed to give our real names.
所以我就叫他 “加里凡纳基斯范儿” So I just called him Galifianak-ish.
几周前 So a few weeks ago,
有辆卡车开到仓库门口 送了个包裹过来 this truck pulls up to the warehouse with a package,
这事儿特别奇怪 which was super weird
因为我连亚马逊账号都没有 because I don't even have an Amazon account.
我不想把它放外面一整晚 I didn't want to leave it outside all night
万一是什么特别重要的东西呢 in case it was something super important,
比如约柜之类的 like the Ark of the Covenant.
所以我就把它拿进去了 So I brought it in.
然后我就听到声音了 And that's when I heard it.
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
你被包围了 混蛋 You're surrounded, asshole!
我们要把你脑袋打爆 We're--we're all gonna blow your head off.
哦我的天 谁在那儿 Oh my god. Who's there?
我在这儿呢 I'm in here.
所以我就撞开门冲进去了 So I busted through the door
毕竟我人高马大 超猛的 because I'm big and freaking awesome.
然后我做了啥呢 And then what did I do?
♪ 我无法活下去… ♪ ♪ I can't live... ♪
我就像个救援者一样把他救出来了 I rescued him like a rescuer.
像《保镖》里那个演《黄石》的男演员那样 Like theYellowstone guy fromThe Bodyguard ,
不过我比他酷多了 也猛多了 but way more badass and cool.
♪ 我无法给予… ♪ ♪ I can't give... ♪
事情就是这样 And there you have it.
就这样 - 对 There you have it? Yeah.
你简直是疯到家了 You are gorilla-ass crazy.
你明白吗 Do you understand that?
♪ 摧毁 ♪ ♪ Destroy ♪
啊 Agh!
“疯子能量饮” Liquid Psycho.
这玩意儿超带劲 是吧 This stuff's amazing, huh?
含一千毫克咖啡因呢 A thousand milligrams of caffeine.
很多吗 Is that a lot?
我感觉自己像着火了一样 I mean, I feel like I'm on fire.
像骑着龙 又像 像白色闪电！ Like I'm riding a dragon, like, like I'm white lightning!
孩子们 孩子们 Kids! Kids!
哦我的天 冷静点 Oh my god! Calm down!
说吧 这些人是谁 Now, who are these guys?
我们为啥不直接报警啊 Why don't we just go to the cops?
呃 这里面有点误会 Well, there was a little misunderstanding.
什么类型的误会 What type of misunderstanding?
早上好 情况是这样的 Good morning. So here's the deal.
他不是我孩子 但肯定是某个人的孩子 He's not my kid, but he's definitely someone's kid,
所以我得把他偷走 so I had to steal him away.
可现在我把他偷出来了 But now that I stole him,
估计有人要追过来杀我们了 I think someone's coming after us trying to kill us.
你们懂我意思吧 You guys know what I'm saying, right?
♪ 我无法活下去 ♪ ♪ I can't live ♪
♪ - 若生命中没有你 ♪ - - ♪ if living is without you ♪ -
♪ 无法活下去 ♪ ♪ Can't live ♪
这误会可真不小啊 That is quite a misunderstanding.
是吧 Right?
所以现在报警肯定没戏了 So cops are kind of out of the question now.
啥 What?
他来了吗 Is he coming?
你看 我偷了这个 Check it. I stole these.
我靠 不会吧 No freakin' way.
普卡斯 Pukas.
咋样啊 普卡斯 What's up, Pukas?
这是你新女朋友 Is this your new girlfriend?
这儿出事儿了 We got a problem here?
这儿出事儿了吗 混蛋 We got a problem here, punk ass?
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
你死定了 You're frickin' dead.
♪ 从康普顿来的 ♪ ♪ Straight outta Compton ♪
♪ 有个叫艾斯・库伯的疯狂兄弟 ♪ ♪ crazy brotha named Ice Cube ♪
♪ 来自超狠的帮派 脾气火爆 ♪ ♪ from the stupid-dope gang wit a attitude ♪
♪ 所以我到你街区的时候 ♪ ♪ So when I'm in your neighborhood ♪
♪ 你最好躲远点 ♪ ♪ you better duck ♪
♪ 因为艾斯・库伯疯起来… ♪ ♪ 'cause Ice Cube is crazy as...♪
♪ 我走的时候肯定要跺着脚 ♪ ♪ as I leave believe I'm stompin' now ♪
耶 - ♪ 康普顿 ♪ Yeah! ♪ Compton ♪
所以你跟我说的全是假的 So nothing you've told me is true.
根本没有什么去世的妻子 There's no dead wife.
呃 这也算是好消息吧 Well, that's good news, right?
行吧 那我捋捋 Okay. So let me get this straight.
有一群狠角色在外面想杀我 There's a group of hardcore guys out there that wanna kill me
和我全家 就因为你从某个秘密机构把 CJ 偷出来了 and my entire family, all because you stole CJ
from some secret facility.
是这回事儿不 - 对 Is that it? Yeah.
你还有啥撒谎的事儿没说 Anything else you lied about?
其实 我可能还撒了个别的谎 Actually, I might have lied
about something else.
我就知道 Yeah, I'm feeling that.
CJ 不叫克里斯托弗・吉夫 CJ's name isn't Christopher Jif.
不是吗 It's not?
那是花生酱的牌子啊 That's a peanut butter.
我也不知道他名字缩写是啥意思 I don't know what it stands for.
所以 布布 你说得对 So, you're right, Bri.
现在我们只能靠彼此了 All we have is each other now.
我可没这么说 I never said that.
卢卡斯 CJ 我们走 Lucas, CJ, let's go.
他们到底在哪儿 Where the hell are they?
卢卡斯 CJ Lucas! CJ!
CJ CJ!
哦我的天 Oh, my God!
他们找到我们了 They found us.
你干啥呢 What are you doing?
偷车啊 Stealing a car.
点兵点将 点到谁就是谁 Eenie-meenie-miney-mo.
你说这是不是天意 是不是天意 Now is this meant to be or is this meant to be?
我要去找我儿子 - 布布 I'm gonna get my kid. Bri-Bri!
该死 Damn it.
卢卡斯 Lucas!
怎么了 - 卢卡斯 What's happening? Lucas!
她带了份砂锅菜 难吃得要死 She brought a casserole. It was awful.
卢卡斯 - 怎么了 Lucas! What's going on?
卢卡斯 Lucas!
哦我的天 Oh, my God!
卢卡斯 Lucas!
没事的 没事的 It's okay. It's okay.
我接住你了 好吗 I got you, all right?
你安全了 安全了 - 不 不对 杰夫在哪儿 You're safe, you're safe. No, no. Where's Jeff?
我们不需要杰夫 好吗 We don't need Jeff, okay?
不行 我们得找到杰夫 No, we gotta find Jeff.
他得保护我们 爸爸 He needs to protect us, Dad.
我们得找到他 We gotta find him.
不 不 不 No, no, no!
不 No!
不 不 不 不 No! No, no, no! No!
看到没 You see that?
超酷 是吧 Sick, right?
老天 我太厉害了 God, I'm good!
行吧 还不错 Okay, not bad.
爸爸 他们还在追 Dad, they're still coming.
跑 跑 跑 跑 Go, go, go, go!
他们来了吗 Are they coming?
他们怎么老是能找到我们 How do they keep finding us?
你觉得是 “绊脚石” 组织 You thinking Treadstone?
行吧 那是电影里的 不是真的 Okay, that's a movie. That's not real.
就是他们追踪马特・达蒙那套 You know, the way they track Matt Damon.
你知道的 我们身上的所有东西都能被追踪到 You know, everything on us is traceable.
对了 他们有我的手机 That's it. They have my phone.
他们在用我的手机追踪卢卡斯 They're--they're tracking Lucas with my phone.
卢卡斯 把你的 GPS 定位键拿出来 Okay, Lucas, take your GPS button
关掉 好吗 and turn it off, okay?
而且别打开 And keep it off.
对 别打开 卢卡斯 Yeah, keep it off, Lucas.
全是你的错 This is all your fault.
我开玩笑呢 伙计 I'm kidding, dude.
我开玩笑的 I'm kidding.
大部分是你的错 但也不全是 It's mostly your fault, but not all your fault.
刚才那事儿 谢了啊 Thanks for what you did back there.
你刚才真够意思 That was really cool of you.
还行吧 Cool.
哎哟 Ow.
哈 这事儿太疯狂了 Huh, this is crazy.
我都不知道自己在想啥 伙计 I don't even know what I'm thinking, man.
啥 - 连个好爸爸都当不好 What? Can't even be a good dad.
你说啥呢 What are you talking about?
是你救了他啊 布布 You're the one who saved him, Bri.
你是个好爸爸 You're a great dad.
而且你有个好儿子 And you got a great kid.
一个爱你的儿子 Kid who loves you.
这我可不确定 I don't know about that.
你知道吗 我得跟你说 当继父这事儿 You know... I gotta tell you being a stepdad is...
我以前以为自己二十多三十岁的时候会有孩子 I thought I'd have kids in my 20s or 30s.
结果没成 That didn't happen.
我也接受了 I was okay with that.
可后来艾米丽走进了我的生活 But then they put Emily in my life
我当时就想 哇 这么好的女人 and I was like, wow, you know, this amazing woman
感觉我有点配不上她 who's kind of out of my league.
何止是有点 简直是配不上 差远了 Totally out of your league. Like way, way out.
知道了 - 论长相 Okay. Like looks.
嗯 长相是 - 论性格 Yeah, that. Personality.
几乎方方面面都配不上 Pretty much every way possible.
我懂了 我明白你的意思了 I got it. I got what you're saying.
而且她还带着个孩子 And she came with this kid...
他开始叫我爸爸 我当时就想 “哦 天呐” and he started calling me Dad and I was like, “Oh, man.”
你知道吗 我都不知道该怎么应对这些事儿 You know, I don't know how to do this stuff, you know?
我还觉得自己根本不配被他叫爸爸 And I thought I didn't even deserve to be called Dad.
我开始为他难过 你知道吗 I started feeling bad for him, you know?
他摊上我这么个老男人 He got saddled with an old guy like me.
你这么酷的人 咋还这么想 What are you, a cool guy like you?
布布 你人超好的 Bri, you're a great guy.
我要是有个你这样的爸爸 死都愿意 Like, I'd kill to have a dad like you.
而且你照顾他的样子超酷的 And the way you take care of him is so cool.
我们得把他们带到安全的地方 好吗 We gotta get them some place safe, okay?
一个完全没人能找到的地方 Some place completely off the grid.
我正好知道个地方 I know just the place.
他们绝对找不到我们 They'll never find us.
我们就躲在这儿 This is where we're hiding out?
超赞 是吧 Sick, right?
瞧瞧你 - 戈登 我没穿衣服呢 Look at you. Gordon, I'm naked!
杰夫 - 嘿 戈登 Jeff? Hey, Gordon.
嘿 Hey.
布莱恩 这是戈登 Brian, this is Gordon,
我那疏远已久的废物老爸 my estranged deadbeat dad. Pleasure.
那是卢卡斯 布莱恩的儿子 这位是 CJ That's Lucas, Brian's son, and this here is CJ.
啊 你从没跟我说过你有孩子 Ah, you never told me you had a kid.
我没有孩子 I don't have a kid.
你瞎吗 Are you blind?
他跟你这么大的时候长得一模一样 He's the spitting image of you when you were his age.
我觉得是 I think.
呃 杰夫跟你说过我抛弃了他吗 Did, uh, Jeff mention I abandoned him
在他四岁的时候？ when he was four?
还没呢 没说 Not yet, no, no.
好 好 Good. Good.
行了 进来吧 Well, come on in.
走吧 Let's go.
嘿 你能相信他还在生我的气吗 Hey, can you believe he's still mad at me
而且还是30年前发生的事情？ for something that happened 30 years ago?
你把我丢进了一个女童孤儿院 You dropped me off in an orphanage for girls.
那你还得谢我呢 And you're welcome.
布莱恩 当他妈妈去世的时候 Brian, when--when his mom died,
我当时就是 就是慌了 I mean, I just--I panicked.
就我一个人 It was just me.
我那时候年轻 又蠢 I was young, stupid.
我怕自己当爸爸根本应付不来 I was afraid I was in over my head being a dad,
但我一直关注着你 是吧 but kept tabs on you, didn't I?
来了 这就是我想给你看的 Here we go. This is what I want to show you.
来了 Here we go.
看到没 你们俩长得一模一样 See, you two are dead ringers.
哦 看看我的小杰夫和他所有的寄养家庭 Oh, look at my little Jeffy with all his foster families.
你这混蛋还挺幸运 You're a lucky bastard.
呃 Well...
他没说错 He's not wrong.
他长得跟你一模一样 He looks just like you.
CJ 是我儿子？ CJ's my son?
这到底是怎么回事 What's going on here?
这怎么可能呢？ How's that even possible?
你连他妈妈是谁都不知道吗？ Do you even know who his mom is?
因为我有根深蒂固的情感问题 Due to my deep-seated emotional issues,
我轻而易举的跟很多女人上过床 I've easily slept with thousands and thousands
很多女人 and thousands of women.
那你还得谢我呢 You're welcome.
爸爸 你跟多少女人上过床？ How many women have you slept with, Dad?
这不关你的事 这不关你的事 That's not your business. That's none of your business.
所以你是我儿子 小家伙 So you're my son, little man.
难怪你又帅又厉害 No wonder you're so handsome and awesome.
那当然 Hell yeah.
我们会是超棒的搭档 We're gonna make such a good team.
我们一起会超开心的 We're gonna have so much fun together.
击个掌 Up high.
嘿 杰夫 Hey, Jeff.
嘿 戈登 - 嗯 Hey, Gordon. Yeah.
能跟你说句话吗 Can I talk to you for a second?
听着 呃 Look, um...
我们需要帮忙 we need a favor.
那些人一直追着我们 These guys keep coming after us.
孩子们待在这儿不安全 It's not safe for the kids.
我们能把他们留在这儿一段时间吗 Can we leave them here for a bit?
希望你能照看他们一阵 We're hoping you can look after them for a while
直到我们把事情弄清楚 until we figure all this out.
呃 我 Yeah, um...
你会帮我吗 爸爸 Will you help me, Dad?
我不能 抱歉 I can't. Sorry...
我就是不是那种人 I'm just not that... guy.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
你还好吗 You okay?
伙计 我们得弄清楚他们为什么对你这么做 Man, we gotta find out why they did this to you.
你知道吗 为什么会有人想要我的孩子 You know, why would anyone want a kid from me?
我为什么要当爸爸 Why should I be a dad?
你也见过我爸爸了 You saw mine.
这就是我参军的原因 That's why I enlisted.
我有过自己的队伍 You know, I had my own team.
终于有了家人的感觉 Finally had a family.
可我连这个都做不好 And I couldn't even do that right.
中士 你在干什么 Sarge, what are you doing?
把他解决掉 Take him out!
我做不到 I couldn't do it,
所以他们把我送上了军事法庭 so they court-martialed me.
你还是我完美的士兵 杰夫 You're still my perfect soldier, Jeff.
我真希望有更多像你这样的人 I wish I had more of you.
什么完美士兵 狗屁 Perfect soldier, my ass.
这根本不是缺点 伙计 That's not a flaw, man, at all.
说实话 那个上校 I gotta be honest, it sounds like that colonel guy,
他好像真的很喜欢你 like he really liked you.
是 库尔特斯上校 Yeah, Colonel Kurtz.
他总是支持我 He always had my back.
这才是关键 你懂吗 That's what it's all about, see?
让他们知道我们会支持他们 Letting them know that we have their backs.
♪ 我懂 你也懂 ♪ ♪ I got it, you got it ♪
♪ 嗯 他们也想要 ♪ ♪ Mm, they want it ♪
哇 是 Wow, yeah.
他肯定是你儿子 He's definitely your son.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
呃 没什么 我是说 我们只是 Uh, nothing. I mean, we just...
我们好像喜欢吃一样的东西 It's kind of like we eat the same thing.
就像 你知道的 就像你之前 It's like, you know, just like when you...
你之前在吃 You were eating .
我们得弄清楚他们为什么对你这么做 We gotta figure out why they did this to you.
你不认识那个绝密机构里的任何人吗 You don't know anyone in that top secret...
什么的 whatever?
那个加里凡纳基斯范儿的人 - 哇 哇 Zach Galifianak-ish. Whoa, whoa.
冷静 冷静 冷静 Easy, easy, easy.
我没事 I'm good.
我们到底怎么找到这个人 How in the world are we gonna find this guy?
我们要假装跟他搭讪 We're gonna pretend to bang him.
什么 What?
扎克找不到女人 Zach couldn't get women
所以他找我帮他打理约会软件 so he'd come to me to help him with all his dating apps.
扎克完全不会撩 Zach had no game.
显然 我会 - 嗯 Obviously, I do. Mm.
所以我假装是他 帮他给那些女生发消息 So I'd pretend to be him and text all these girls for him
我超擅长这个的 and I was amazing at it.
呜呼 Whoo-hoo!
老爸又要大显身手了 Daddy's back in business.
哦 天 Oh boy.
就是这个了 This is the one.
我能搞定这个 I can get this one.
为什么 Why is that?
因为她有一只眼睛看不见 Because she's half blind!
她根本看不清我 She can't even see me.
这可太好了 That's pretty sweet.
伙计 这是我的身体吗 Dude, is that my body?
是 是 我应该先问你的 Yeah, yeah. I should have asked.
我太兴奋了 I got excited.
计划就是这样 And that's the plan.
我们要钓这个混蛋出来 We're gonna catfish this bag of shit.
我们不用找他 We don't need to find him.
我们要让他自己来找我们 We're gonna bring him to us.
我们的假账号名字就叫… 坎迪 And our fake profile name will be... Candi.
坎迪 Candi?
怎么 你想叫她凯伦吗 What, you want to call her Karen?
我喜欢坎迪这个名字 爸爸 - 你能不能 I like Candi, Dad. Would you just--
嘿 戴上耳机 别听了 Hey, just put your headphones on and stop listening.
你坐着就好 You sit back.
让高手来 Let a master do the work.
好 Okay.
你好啊 帅气的水手 Well, hello, handsome sailor.
你好啊 帅气的水手 Well, hello handsome sailor.
呃 又来了 Ugh, here we go again.
我刚到镇上 你真性感 I just got into town and you are hot.
俄罗斯机器人 想的美 普京 Russian bots. Nice try, Putin.
拉黑 Blocked.
该用户已拉黑你 This user has blocked you.
什么 What?
行了 把手机给我 All right, just give me the phone.
给我 好吗 - 冷静点 布布 Give it to me, all right? Relax, Bri.
听着 这次你或许应该慢一点 Look, maybe this time you just come in a little slower.
听着 你想喝一杯吗 Listen, you wanna get smashed or what?
呃 Ugh.
举报 Report.
该用户已举报你 This user has reported you.
他有毛病吧 What is his problem?
把这东西给我 你别弄了 Give me this thing. You're done.
你要干什么 What are you gonna do?
我告诉你我要干什么 I'm telling you what I'm gonna do.
我要温和但坚定地开始 I'm gonna come in nice and slow, but steady.
嗨 我是艾米丽 Hi, I'm Emily.
很高兴认识你 Nice to meet you.
哦 我今晚状态超好 Oh, I'm on fire tonight.
我刚看了你的资料 I just read your profile.
我也对… 翼龙 暴食症 I, too, am interested in... Pterodactyls, bulimia,
《爱情盲选》还有摩门教文化感兴趣 Love is Blind, and the Mormon culture.
哦 真烦人 Oh, this is so annoying.
是啊 看来我们有很多共同点 Yes, it seems like we have much in common,
但你最喜欢的摩门教徒是谁呢 but now who's your favorite Mormon?
最喜欢的摩门教徒 Favorite Mormon?
最喜欢的摩门教徒 呃 Favorite Mormon. Uh...
《壮志凌云 2：独行侠》 Top Gun Maverick.
那根本不是人 Not even a person.
Jay-Z（说唱歌手） Jay-Z.
我最喜欢的摩门教徒当然是 Jay-Z My favorite Mormon is, of course, Jay-Z.
哦 就是她了 Oh, she's the one.
能在这里跟正常人聊天真好 It is so nice to talk with someone actually normal here.
我讨厌那些人表现得又恶心又有攻击性 I hate when people come across so disgusting and aggressive.
别用你那肮脏的想法打衡量我 你知道吗？ Get your grubby thoughts off of me, you know?
完全同意 Totally.
所以你想喝一杯吗 So do you want to get smashed or not?
想 Yeah.
看到了吧 布布？ You see what I'm saying, Bri?
你知道什么最让我兴奋吗？ You want to know what really turns me on?
♪ 我只是个男孩 ♪ ♪ I'm just a boy ♪
♪ 即将与一个女人缠绵 ♪ ♪ about to make love to a woman ♪
♪ 有人称之为性交 ♪ ♪ some call it intercourse ♪
哦 不 - 嗯哼 Oh, no. Mm-hm.
哦 又来了 Oh, not again.
嘿 贱人 - 抓到你了 傻瓜 Sup, bitch? Got you, fool.
嗯 才不要坐牢 Mmm, not going to jail.
吃屎吧 Eat shit, .
好 Okay.
我们要好好谈谈 You and I are gonna have a very calm conversation.
你对我儿子做了什么 What did you do to my son?
伙计 能不能把 hoodie（连帽衫）的帽子摘了 Dude, just please take the hood off.
我早就知道你是谁了 蠢货 I already know who you are, dumbass.
哦 该死 真的吗 Oh, shit. Really?
是 杰夫 Yeah, Jeff.
你长得很有辨识度 You're a pretty specific looking guy.
该死 Damn it!
我要答案 I want answers.
现在就要 Now.
快说 兄弟 Start talking, bro.
不 Uh-uh.
哦 你想被水刑吗 Oh, you want to get waterboarded?
什么 What?
是你自找的 You asked for it.
你要怎么… How are you gonna...?
杰夫 水刑不是这么弄的 That's not how you waterboard, Jeff.
没错 That's right.
你这是在给我做蛋白粉奶昔吗？ What are you, making me a protein shake?
准备好招供吧 贱人 Be prepared to talk, bitch.
不是… 哦 拜托 - 你渴吗 Not--Oh, come on. Are you thirsty?
耶 感觉怎么样 Yeah, how do you like them apples?!
好 Okay.
能跟你说句话吗 Can I talk to you for a second?
我正要让他招供呢 I was about to break him.
过来 Get over here.
呃 Ugh.
怎么了 妈妈 Yes, Mom?
听着 这样根本没用 好吗 Yeah, well, what's going on over here,
只是不管用，好吗？ it's just not working, okay?
什么 ？我差点杀了他？ What? When I almost killed him?
你那是在给他补水 You moisturized him is what you did.
好 那你当坏警察 Okay, so you're bad cop?
我可以当坏警察 - 好 I can be bad cop. Okay.
爸爸 你可以的 - 是 我知道 You can do it, Dad. Yeah, I know.
把真相从他嘴里问出来 - 我现在就去 Go get it out of him. I'll do it right now.
我们要怎么办 What are we gonna do?
拿这个干什么 What's that for?
折磨他 Torture his ass.
《落水狗》 Reservoir Dogs.
好 行 好 All right. Yeah, all right.
我等不及要看了 I can't wait to see this.
《落水狗》风格 - 对 Reservoir Dogsstyle. Yeah.
哦 天 Oh, God.
现在谁还笑得出来 贱人 Who's laughing now, bitch?
♪ 我不知道今晚为什么来这儿 ♪ ♪ Well, I don't know why I came here tonight ♪
♪ 我有种感觉 事情不太对劲 ♪ ♪ I got the feeling that Something ain't right ♪
你看起来就像克里斯・克里斯蒂在参加《与星共舞》 You look like Chris Christie is on Dancing with the Stars.
他没… 他没害怕 He's not--he's not scared.
他不怕 - 别当逃兵 He's not afraid. Don't be a quitter.
回去继续 Get back in there.
你猜怎么着 Guess what?
游戏时间结束了 Playtime is over.
哦 Oh.
这就像个便携化妆包 That's like a traveling cosmetic kit.
可不是嘛 You bet it is.
选个武器吧 朋友 Pick your weapon, my friend.
呃 牙刷 Uh, the toothbrush?
你想让这个进你身体里吗 Do you want this in you?
伙计 什么 Man, what?
我就从这个开始 我不在乎 I'll start this way. I don't care.
哦 天 赶紧捅他啊 Oh, my God, stab him already.
听着 那边那两个男孩 Look, the two boys over there
可能比你们更会审问我 would probably do a better job interrogating me.
你们怎么不跟他们换一下 Why don't you swap places with them?
嘿 看着我 Hey, look at me.
你让我在我儿子面前显得很可怜 好吗 You're making me look pathetic in front of my kid, okay?
我什么都不会告诉你的 好吗 I'm not gonna tell you anything, okay?
不管你给我什么 It doesn't matter what you offer me.
不管你对我做什么 It doesn't matter what you do to me.
我都不会说发生了什么 I'm not gonna tell you what happened.
事情是这样的 Here's exactly what happened.
怎么说呢 So, how do I put this?
那边那个孩子 他… 他不是你儿子 That--that kid over there, that's--that's not your son.
他长得跟你很像 Who somehow looks a lot like you
是因为他是你的基因类似体 is because he is a genetic analog of you.
基因类似体 Genetic analog?
你是说克隆人 You mean like a clone?
对 聪明的孩子 Yeah. Smart kid.
克隆人 Clone.
他是基因类似体 克隆人 He's a genetic analog. A clone.
他叫 CJ His name's CJ.
字面意思就是 “克隆杰夫” That literally means “Clone Jeff.”
所以他跟我一模一样 So he's exactly like me?
算是你的改良版 Well, modified version of you.
他更快 更强壮 See, he's faster, stronger,
而且比你聪明多了 好吗 and way smarter than you, okay.
他是更好的你 He's a better version of you.
你也就社区大学水平 You are community college.
他可是哈佛以上水平 He is Harvard plus.
你们为什么要这么做 Why would you do this?
不 不是我克隆的 No, I didn't clone anyone.
我就像个保姆 I'm just like a babysitter.
那是谁干的 Then who did this?
我… 我… 我不能说 I--I--I can't tell you.
我只知道一个名字 我不会说的 All I got is a name and I'm not telling you
因为他们… 啊 好吧 because they--ah, okay!
是西蒙・马多克斯 It's Simon Maddox.
西蒙・马多克斯 Simon Maddox.
把灯放下 西蒙・马多克斯 Put down the lamp. Simon Maddox.
西蒙・马多克斯是谁 Who the hell is Simon Maddox?
哦 哇 Oh, wow.
你们根本不知道自己卷入了什么 You guys have no idea what you just stepped into.
好 西蒙・马多克斯是谁 Okay. Who is Simon Maddox?
他到底为什么要克隆杰夫 And why the hell would he clone Jeff?
呃啊 啊 Ergh. Aaagh!
哈 Hah.
♪ 我曾经在一个小乐队里唱歌玩布鲁斯 ♪ ♪ I used to sing and play the blues in a little old band ♪
♪ 我们鼓起勇气 开着 61 年的货车上路 ♪ ♪ We got brave and we hit the road in a '61 van ♪
哇 这人是个天才 Wow, this guy's a genius.
哦 伙计 超级天才 Oh man, super genius.
嗯 嗯 嗯 Mm, mm, mm!
拿出点劲来 嗯 嗯 嗯 Get that fight in there. Mm, mm, mm!
哦 好 也超级诡异 Oof. Okay. Also super creepy.
♪ 兜里只有 14 美元 ♪ ♪ Fourteen dollars in the kitty ♪
♪ 我们离开福杰市 往南走 ♪ ♪ when we left Folger City and we headed down south ♪
哇 Whoa.
你能读懂我的心思 You can read my mind?
对 很疯狂吧 Yes. Crazy.
♪ 我转向沼泽 四处张望 ♪ ♪ I turned toward the swamp to look around ♪
哈 哈 Hah! Hah!
♪ 河口美女 尽情弹你的吉他 ♪ ♪ Bayou Belle give your guitar heck ♪
等等 我有个主意 Wait, I got an idea.
亚历克萨 放些老派嘻哈乐 Alexa, play some old-school hip-hop.
♪ 99 年 宝贝 ♪ ♪ Ninety-nine, baby ♪
♪ 我在努力 宝贝 ♪ ♪ I'm on the grind, baby ♪
♪ 给我看看你的本事 ♪ ♪ Show me something ♪
♪ 你能做到 用点劲 ♪ ♪ You can do it put your back into it ♪
♪ 我能做到 用点劲… ♪ ♪ I can do it put your into it... ♪
太赞了 Sick.
♪ 滴答 轰隆 听我在小巷里敲打 ♪ ♪ Tic-tic-boom, hear me banging down these back streets ♪
♪ 放着 Blackstreet 的歌 像运动员一样被对待 ♪ ♪ Bumpin' Blackstreet treated like an athlete ♪
♪ 我们在俱乐部玩到天亮 ♪ ♪ we be clubbing till the day we die ♪
♪ 问问酒保 看你信不信… ♪ ♪ ask the bartender if you think we lie... ♪
该死 Crap.
嘿 艾米 我们有点晚了 Hey, Em, we're running a little bit late.
就这样 亲爱的 That's all, hon.
艾米 Em?
♪ 你能做到 用点劲 ♪ ♪ You can do it put your back into it ♪
艾米 Em?
看你的屏幕 Look at your screen.
要我们跟着艾米回家吗 Would you like us to follow Emily home?
去拜访她一下 Pay her a little visit?
不 我不想要 No. Would not like that.
那你把男孩带过来 Then you bring the boy to us.
开车去我们发给你的坐标 Drive to the coordinates that we send to you.
不然我们就去找你妻子 Otherwise, we will visit your wife.
看到了吧 布布 You see, Bri-Bri?
你现在多开心 How much fun are you having right now?
哇 天 你真厉害 Whooh! God, you're good.
你们怎么找到这个西蒙・马多克斯的 So how'd you track down this Simon Maddox?
你做了法务会计调查吗 You do your forensic accounting?
嗯 Hm.
布布 你还好吗 Bri-Bri? You okay?
哦 好 好 Oh, yeah, yeah.
好 Okay.
伙计 终于成了 Man, it's finally happening.
我和 CJ 终于有共鸣了 CJ and I are finally connecting.
太不可思议了 对吧 Isn't this incredible?
是 对 It is, yeah.
嘿 谢谢你之前跟我聊的那些 Hey, I gotta thank you for that little talk earlier.
我觉得你是对的 I think you're right.
我真的会成为最好的爸爸 I really am gonna be the best dad.
他有枪 He's got a gun!
哦 天 他们要杀她 Oh, my God! They're gonna kill her!
还有多远 布布 So how much further, Bri-Bri?
不 不 没… 没多远了 No, no, not--not much.
伙计 我等不及要跟这个混蛋当面对峙了 Man, I can't wait to see this ass-hat face-to-face.
对吧 CJ Right, CJ?
对 Right.
哈 这不对啊 Huh, this can't be right.
我还以为会是像 51 区那样的地方 Pictured it more of like an Area 51 type place.
也许你法务调查做错了 Maybe you did your forensicing wrong.
卢卡斯 上车 - 为什么 Lucas, get in the van. Why?
现在就上车 求你了 Get in the van right now, please.
布布 怎么了 Bri? What's going on?
杰夫 我很抱歉 Jeff, I'm so sorry.
抱歉什么 For what?
蹲下 Get down!
不许动 不许动 Freeze! Don't you move!
伙计 他们要抓艾米 对吧 Dude, they were coming after Emily, all right?
他们开枪了 什么都干 伙计 They were firing guns and--and everything, man.
我… 我… 我不知道该怎么办 I--I--I didn't know what to do.
♪ 摇啊 摇啊 ♪ ♪ Shake that, shake that ♪
♪ 尽情摇啊 摇啊 ♪ ♪ Shake that, shake that go at best ♪
♪ 摇啊 摇啊 ♪ ♪ Shake that, shake that ♪
♪ 让它晃 让它晃 ♪ ♪ Make it jiggle make it jiggle ♪
♪ 跳一下 劈个叉 ♪ ♪ Do a jump, split ♪
♪ 让它晃 让它晃 ♪ ♪ Make it wiggle Make it wiggle ♪
♪ 让它 让它 ♪ ♪ Make that, make that ♪
♪ 想摇吗 ♪ ♪ Wanna shake it? ♪
♪ 想… ♪ ♪ Wanna... ♪
你们是谁？ Who the hell are you?
哦 你已经知道我的名字了 Oh, you already know my name.
什么 ？迪克脸队长？ What's that? Captain Dickface?
不是 No.
这是西蒙・马多克斯 This is Simon Maddox.
嘿 你碰他我就杀了你！ Hey, you touch him and I'll kill you!
别碰他！ Don't touch him!
你为什么要这么做？ Why are you doing this?
你到底为什么要这么做？ Why are you doing this anyway?
他只是个孩子 He's just a kid.
他不只是个孩子 He is not just a kid.
为什么是我 Why me?
你为什么要这么对我？ Why'd you do this to me?
我回答不了这个问题 I'm not the one who can answer that.
来吧 CJ Come on, CJ.
等等 等等 Wait, hold on.
等等 Hold on.
至少让我跟他说再见 Let me at least say goodbye to him.
相信我 这对你比对他更难 Trust me, this is harder for you than it is for him.
CJ 没有能力建立情感联系 CJ isn't capable of making any emotional connections.
这根本不在他的 DNA 里 It's literally not in his DNA.
这是胡说八道 Well, that's bullshit.
我会证明的 I'll prove it.
嘿 Hey.
我爱你 小家伙 I love you, little man.
我知道你也爱我 And I know you love me, too.
我不懂你的意思 I don't know what you mean.
爱是什么意思 What does love mean?
在你心里 It's in your heart.
你心里没感觉到什么吗 Don't you feel anything in your heart?
没有吗 No?
你有任何感觉吗 Do you feel anything at all?
没有 No.
我不信 I don't believe that.
所以这不是再见 好吗？ So this isn't goodbye, okay?
我很快会再见到你的 I'll see you again real soon.
击个掌 Up high.
哦 拜托 Ah, come on.
别让我空等着 伙计 Don't leave me hanging, dude.
现在别这样 Not now.
求你了 Please.
CJ CJ!
卢… 卢卡斯 Lu--Lucas.
卢卡斯 我们走 Lucas, let's go.
卢卡斯 上车 Lucas, get in the van.
♪ 这是夜晚的节奏 ♪ ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪
现在你觉得我怎么样？ How do you like me now?
哦 哦 Ooh! Ooh!
哦 我打到他了吗？ Oh, did I get him?
我… 我看起来酷吗？ Did... did I look cool?
不 No.
但你分散了他的注意力 然后杰夫解决了他 But you distracted him, and then Jeff took him out.
哦 Oh.
嘿 卢卡斯 对不起 Hey, Lucas, I'm sorry.
我只是… Look, I'm just...
我可能不是你… 你需要的那种爸爸 或者你… I just may not be the dad you... you need or you...
我是说 不是你真正想要的那种 I mean, the one you really want.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
我不年轻 I'm not young.
我也不厉害 You know, I'm not badass.
我只是不是个… I'm just not a...
你是我爸爸 You are my dad.
我一点都不想你改变 I don't want you to change at all.
你不想吗 You don't?
不想 No.
我有你 不是吗 I have you, right?
对 Right.
嘿 杰夫 我该把他绑起来折磨他吗 Hey, Jeff, should I tie him up and torture his ass
就像我们对那个胖小矮妖做的那样 like we did with the fat leprechaun?
你会吗 Would you?
我需要一点时间来恢复 I need a moment to recover
从你父亲那痛苦的背叛中 from your dad's gut-wrenching betrayal.
我… 我真的很抱歉 好吗？ I'm--I'm really sorry, all right?
没关系 Doesn't matter.
我失败了 I failed.
你… 你没有辜负他 You--you didn't fail him.
我们得去救他 We gotta go get him.
你没听见他说的吗 Didn't you hear what he said?
他不在乎我 He doesn't care about me.
好吧 就这样了 Okay, so that's it.
我们经历了这么多之后就这样 After all we've been through?
随便吧 Whatever.
他不想我去救他 He doesn't want me to come get him.
他当然想让你去 Of course he wants you to come.
听我说 嘿 听我说 Listen to me. Hey! Listen to me!
你不是你爸爸 好吗 You're not your dad. Okay?
你知道我怎么知道的吗 You know how I know this?
我知道你有真心 I know you got heart.
小心点 布布 Careful, Bri.
你这话听起来像我们是最好的朋友了 You're starting to talk like we're best friends.
不 差不多吧 但是 Nah, closer but...
是你的手机在响 It's your phone.
卢卡斯 跟… 跟踪器在哪? Lucas, w--where's the tracker?
在我的连帽衫里 Well, it's in my hood--
CJ 拿着呢 CJ has it.
我以为你关了? I thought you shut it off?
我关了 I did.
你知道这意味着什么吗? You know what this means?
什么 ?- 卢克 你告诉他? What? Why don't you tell him, Luke?
这意味着他把跟踪器打开了 It means he turned the tracker on
因为他想让你去救他 because he wants you to go save him.
我们怎么知道他是这个意思? How do we know that's what he wants?
因为你是他爸爸 Because you're his dad.
没错 我就是 Damn right, I am.
哦 你以前在这工作? Oh, this is where you worked?
嗯 - 这像个实验室 Mm-hm. It's like a lab.
他们为什么把他带回来? Why would they bring him back here?
这人就是个书呆子 This guy's a freaking nerd.
卢卡斯 我需要你待在车里 Lucas, I need you to stay in the van
把门锁好 好吗? and lock the door, okay?
卢卡斯 我想保护你 好吗? Lucas, I want to keep you safe, all right?
这对我来说是最重要的 好吗? That's the most important thing to me, okay?
好 但你们会回来的 对吧? Okay, but you're gonna come back, though, right?
我们当然会回来 Of course we're coming back.
对吧 杰夫 Right, Jeff?
我们俩都会 Both of us?
当然 Sure.
来吧 Let's do this.
哦 Oh.
真的吗? Really?
别瞎折腾了 Quit screwing around.
嘿 为… 为什么门开着? Hey, why--why is the door open?
好像他们在等我们 It's like they're expecting us.
我不知道 你在干什么? I don't know. What are you doing?
分开走 覆盖更多区域 Split up and cover more ground.
你得跟我说清楚 好吗 You gotta say that to me, okay?
我刚说了 我刚才 That's what I just said. I was--
你没有 用你那破手势 You didn't. with your freaking hands.
我没有 - 别用手势了 I did not-- Stop with the hands.
哦 天呐 - 嗨！ Oh, my God! Hi.
CJ 你吓死我了 CJ, you scared the crap out of me.
这衣服真奇怪 That's a weird outfit.
比我想的简单 Well, that's easier than I thought.
给你爸爸打电话吧 Let's call your dad.
嘿 怎么样？ - 找到 CJ 了 哈？ Hey, what's up? -Found CJ, huh?
不错吧 哈 How about that, huh?
怎么可能 - 你在说什么？ How's that possible? -What are you talking about?
你以为只有你能当那个 呃 What, you think you're the only one that could be the, uh...
英雄吗 hero?
等等 有两个 CJ？ Wait, there's two CJs?
太疯狂了 This is insane.
哪个是我们的？ Which one's ours?
我不知道 I don't know.
嘿 小家伙们 Hey, little dudes.
你们俩哪个是我的小家伙？ Which one of you two is my little guy?
哇 哇 嘿 伙计们 伙计们！ Whoa, whoa, hey! Guys! Guys!
嘿 冷静 Hey, chill!
贱人 Bitch!
有点过分了 哈？ That was a little excessive, huh?
这是自卫！ It was self-defense!
他们被附身了吗 What are they, possessed?
不 不 我没有 No, no, I'm not...
我不喜欢这样发展 I don't like where this is going.
我走了 I'm out.
哦 天 Oh, gosh.
搞什么 What the hell.
哦 拜托 Oh, come on.
好 - 不 Okay. Nope.
不 不 不 No. No. No.
这里到底怎么了 What the hell is going on here?
好了 大家都冷静点 All right, everyone needs to just relax.
不 不 不 不 不 不 - 冷静 冷静 No, no, no, no, no, no. Relax! Relax.
不 不 不 不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
走 走 走 走 Go, go, go, go!
不 - 抱歉 No! Sorry.
啊 你得帮我！ Ah, you gotta help me!
抱歉 - 他在咬我 Sorry. He's biting me.
杰夫 我看不见 把他弄走 Jeff, I can't see. Get him off!
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
你为什么道歉？ Why are you apologizing?
因为把迷你版的我打得半死 For beating the shit out of little versions of me.
这事我没人可以说 I have no one to talk to about it.
别这样 别这样！ 我不喜欢 Stop it! Stop it! I don't like that.
打他一拳然后道歉就行 Just punch him and apologize.
我很抱歉 非常抱歉 I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry.
哦 天 Oh, God.
真不敢相信他们克隆了这么多 I can't believe they cloned that many.
真混蛋 What assholes.
他们好多人 There's a lot of them.
你 呃 You, uh...
你听到了吗？ You hear that?
听到了 Yeah.
那是什么？ What is that?
我不知道 I don't know.
霸王龙吗？ A T-rex?
哦 哦 哦 天呐 Oh... Oh... Oh, my God!
上啊 上啊 Get some! Get some!
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
不 不 不 不！ No, no, no, no!
《末路狂花》吗 Thelma and Louise?
我们得牵手吗 We have to hold hands?
对 我们得牵手 Yeah, we gotta hold hands.
搞什么 What the hell.
他们好像戴了狗项圈 你看 It's like they got dog collars on, look at...
看他们 Look at them.
是电围栏 他们过不来 It's an electric fence. They can't get past here.
太不可思议了 It's incredible.
好！ Yes!
蠢货 现在怎么样 Idiots! What's up now?
对 现在！ - 现在怎么样？ Yeah, now! What's up now?
现在怎么样？ What's up now?
去死吧 - 对 他就是这么说的 Suck it! Yeah! That's what he said!
好 好 Okay, okay.
嘿 布布 Hey, Bri.
还记得珍妮对福雷斯说的吗 Remember what Jenny said to Forrest
当他戴着那些金属支架一瘸一拐走的时候 when he was gimping around
腿上还戴着那些金属东西？ with those metal things on his legs?
不记得 No.
跑 福雷斯 跑！ Run, Forrest! Run!
天 God.
呃 Ugh.
嘿 伙计？ ‘Sup dawg?
你好 杰夫 Hello, Jeff.
卢卡斯！ 卢卡斯！ Lucas! Lucas!
我们得走 - 爸爸！ We gotta go! Dad!
我们得走！ - 怎… 怎么了？ We gotta go! Wh--what's happening?
杰夫在哪 Where's Jeff?
上校 Colonel?
你跟这个讨厌的书呆子在一起干什么 What are you doing with this freakin' nerd?
你能不能闭嘴 失败者 Why don't you just shut your face, you loser.
我有一辆布加迪 好吗 I own a Bugatti, okay?
我现在有很多辣妹 I get tons of hot chicks now.
我看你们俩成朋友了 I see you two have become pals.
这里到底怎么了 What the hell's going on here?
杰夫 你为我们做了这么多 现在该给你答案了 Well, after all you've done for us, Jeff, you deserve some answers now.
对 你为什么要这么对我 Yeah. Why'd you do this to me?
因为你是我完美的士兵 Because you were my perfect soldier.
真正的身体标本 A true physical specimen.
但你知道你的弱点是什么吗 But do you know what your kryptonite is?
鱼丸 Gefilte fish?
你太有… 同理心了 You have too much... empathy.
CJ 你还好吗 CJ. You okay?
儿子 你不是唯一一个在战场上让国家失望的士兵 See, son, you weren't the only soldier to let your country down in the field.
士兵会累 Soldiers get tired.
他们会害怕 会开始有感情 They get afraid and start to have feelings.
所以我需要解决这个问题 Well, I needed to fix that problem.
后来我偶然发现了西蒙的天才发明… So when I stumbled upon Simon's genius here...
天才 贱人 Genius, bitch.
连西蒙自己都没意识到他的技术能创造什么 Even Simon didn't realize what his technology could create.
它能创造出完美的基因士兵 It could create the perfect genetic soldier.
我们只需要你优良的 DNA All we needed was your superior DNA.
随机药检（获取 DNA） Random drug tests.
杰夫 你是我们理想的候选人 You were our ideal candidate, Jeff.
所以你是说外面那些小家伙都会成为超级士兵吗 So you're telling me all those little guys out there are going to be super soldiers?
每个都设计成不会累 Each one designed to never get tired.
现在是最后一项测试 And now for one final test.
去吧 CJ Go ahead, CJ.
做你受训要做的事 Do what you were trained to do.
埃蒙中士 感谢你的服务 Sergeant Eamon, thank you for your service.
CJ… 听着 伙计 CJ...listen, man.
是啊 我… Yeah, I...
你不是机器 you're not a machine.
你知道我怎么知道吗 You know how I know that?
因为如果我们一样 就说明我们有一样的心 Because if we're the same, it means we got the same heart.
该死 Fuck!
♪ 每个人都想要你 ♪ ♪ Everybody wants you ♪
♪ 每个人都想要你的爱 ♪ ♪ Everybody wants your love ♪
♪ 我只想让你属于我… ♪ ♪ I'd just like to make you mine... ♪
♪ 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐呐呐 现在 ♪ ♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na now ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Give it up ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐呐呐 现在 ♪ ♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na now ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Give it up ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐呐呐 现在 ♪ ♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na now ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Give it up ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 每个人都看见你 ♪ ♪ Everybody sees you ♪
♪ 每个人都看着你 盯着你 ♪ ♪ Everybody looks and stares ♪
♪ 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐呐呐 现在 ♪ ♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na now ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Give it up ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐 呐呐呐呐 现在 ♪ ♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na now ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
♪ 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Give it up ♪
♪ 宝贝 放弃吧 ♪ ♪ Baby, give it up ♪
你伤了我的心 You broke my heart.
哈哈 现在你觉得我怎么样 Ha-ha. How do you like me now?!
♪ 这是夜晚的节奏 ♪ ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪
哦 Ooh!
我打到他了吗 Did I get him?
哦 Ooh.
我表现怎么样 How'd I do?
我看起来酷吗 Did I look cool?
你很酷 爸爸 You did, Dad.
而且你看起来很厉害 And you looked badass.
是啊 我确实 Yeah, I did.
我们做到了 小家伙 We did it, little guy.
击个掌 Up high.
♪ 如何留住你的爱 ♪ ♪ How to keep your love away? ♪
布布 我们是最好的朋友吗 Best friends, Bri?
布布 我们是最好的朋友 Best friends, Bri-Bri.
我们怎么回家? How are we gonna get home?
我们没有车 We don't have a car.
我想我们得再偷一辆 哈 I guess we'll just have to steal another one, huh?
好样的 布布 Attaboy, Bri.
嘿 等一下 Hey, one second.
我们要怎么处理那些 What are we gonna do with all those
里面的疯狂杀人机器 psycho killing machines in there
砰 贱人！ Kaboom, bitch!
♪ 走吧！♪ ♪ Let's go! ♪
♪ 啊哈 耶 ♪ ♪ Ah-hah, yeah ♪
♪ 来吧 哈哈 ♪ ♪ Come on, ha-ha ♪
♪ 耶 ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ 我的照片挂在墙上 像个贵宾 ♪ ♪ Got my picture on the wall like a VIP ♪
♪ 旁边是禁止支票的牌子 那就是我 ♪ ♪ next to the no-check sign that's just me ♪
♪ 告诉我 真是个失败者 ♪ ♪ Tell me, what a loser ♪
♪ 关注这场革命 ♪ ♪ Tune in for the revolution ♪
嘿 Hey.
笨蛋 Butthead.
我一直想问你 I've been meaning to ask you.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
你知道他们怎么说吗 You know what they say?
抱歉 Sorry.
布布 我没回城！ I'm not back in town, Bri!
他是个很危险的 12 岁小孩 He's a very dangerous 12-year-old.
好的 - 对 All right. Yeah.
布布 这不是个好主意 Not a good idea, Bri-Bri.
嘿 怎么样 Hey, what's up?
什么 What?
我很抱歉 - 该死！ I'm sorry. Damn it!
你疯了吗 - 我疯了吗 Are you insane? Am I insane?
你简直是在胡说 ——！ You're absolutely back crap--!
我胡说 - 你在胡说 I'm back crap? You're back crap.
♪ 你一直很性感 ♪ ♪ You was always hot ♪
♪ 押韵总是更紧凑 ♪ ♪ The rhymes were always tighter ♪
比如什么 Like what?
首先 日光浴乳霜和比基尼内裤怎么样 Well, first of all, how about tanning cream
和比基尼内裤怎么样? and bikini underwear?
那是另一个问题 That's another problem.
等一下 Hold up.
那些疯狂的家人你要怎么处理? What are you gonna do about all those psycho family?
那些叫什么名字来着 他们叫什么? What are those names called? What are they called?
疯狂的家人 - 他们是什么 Psycho family. What are they?
等一下 Hold up.
你要怎么做? What are you gonna do ?
你能相信他还在生我的气吗 Can you believe he's still mad at me
就因为 30 年前发生的事吗 for something that happened 30 years ago?
布莱恩 你占了我的停车位吗 Did you take my parking spot, Brian?
嘀！ Beep!
伙计们 我自己弄出了嘀的声音 Guys, I made my own beep sound.
就算对我的演技来说 这也太低级了 That's an all-time low, even for my acting.
只叫你布布可以吗 You cool with just one Bri?
怎么了 我就叫你… What is it? You cool if I just call you...
该死 Damn it.
你… 你… 你… You co... You co... You...
只叫你布布可以吗 只叫你布布可以吗 How about just one Bri? How about just one Bri?
可以吗 只叫你布布可以吗 Cool? How about just one Bri?
可以吗 好 Cool? Yeah, okay.
呃 Ugh.
哦 嘿 Oh, hey!
看我给我自己列的超有趣清单 Look at that list of super fun stuff I made for me.
CJ 妈妈出事了 现在我和 CJ 要做这些 It's CJ and me to do now that CJ's mom went tits-up.
该死 伙计 Damn it, man.
系好安全带 孩子们 Buckle in, boys.
嘿 你在干什么 Hey, what are you doing?
后面有不同的孩子 There's different kids back there.
现在我们真的麻烦了 Now we're really screwed.
我们一直带着不同的孩子 We got different kids all this time.
你老是忘了孩子 You keep forgetting the kids!
等一下 Hold up.
我们要怎么处理那些 What are we gonna do about all those
里面的疯狂杀人机器 psycho killing machines in there?
你和我有一样的问题 You have the same problem I do.
哦 我差点掉了这个 Oh, I almost dropped this.
安全 安全! Clear! Clear!
哟 亨特 我们下次再抓他们 哈 兄弟? Yo, Hunt. We'll get ‘em next time, huh, bro?
伙计 别叫我 “兄弟” Don't call me “bro,” dude.
小子 别叫我 “兄弟” Don't call me “bro,” son.
有个人死在我怀里 One guy died in my arms
我眼睁睁看着他流血而死 while I slowly watched him bleed out.
很恶心 对吧 Sick, right?
我讨厌那样 I hate that.
嗨呀 Hiya!
我没进门 I missed the door.
抱歉 Sorry.
天 God.
艾米 嘿 亲爱的 你好吗 Emily! Hey, how you doing, sweetie?
哦 嗨 这是杰夫吗 Oh, hi. Is this Jeff?
千真万确 In the... flesh.
嗨 艾米 那是我吗? Hi, Em. Is that me?
我在等 我不想… I'm waiting. I don't want to...
我搞砸了 - 我不想… 好的 I screwed it up. I don't want to get--all right.
我本来想编点别的 I was trying to come up with something else.
好了 下去 我闻到你戴浣熊帽的臭味了 Okay, get off. I smell your ass in a raccoon hat .
我不知道该把腿放哪 I didn't know where to put my legs.
伙计 这个太奇怪了 That was a very weird one, man.
哦 Ow!
那么 跟我说说玩伴聚会的事 So? Tell me about the playdate.
卢卡斯说那简直是 Lucas said it was, like,
他这辈子最棒的一天 literally the best day of his whole entire life.
嗯 那确实很特别 Well, it was definitely something.
布布 Bri-Bri!
杰夫 你到底在干什么 Jeff, what the hell are you doing?
现在是凌晨两点 It's two o'clock in the morning.
你没给我地址 You didn't give me an address,
所以我不得不敲了很多门 so I had to knock on a lot of doors.
你绝对猜不到发生了什么 You're never gonna guess what happened.
我不想猜 I don't feel like guessing.
哦 猜嘛 - 我不想猜 Oh, guess. I don't want to guess.
哦 就猜一下 - 我不 Oh, just guess. I'm not--
我不猜 - 猜嘛 I'm not guessing. Guess.
你又偷了一辆小型货车 You stole another minivan.
什么 What?
这猜得真蠢 不是 That's a stupid guess. No.
他们把我们的房子烧了 They burned our house down.
谁 马多克斯吗 Who, Maddox?
不是 是另一伙坏人 No, totally different group of bad people.
我会跟你细说的 I'll tell you all about it.
走吧 CJ Let's go, CJ.
我要上铺 I call top bunk.
下铺 Bottom.
广东绿皇香鸡虎门专卖店提供翻译 《片名：玩爆约会 》 Green Emperor Fragrant Chicken (Guangdong) Humen Store 《title：Playdate》