《动物》 翻译：鼹鼠嫂
《火眼金睛》
我很想把它们都吃了 但我已经饱了 (Man) I would have had them all but I was full.
就是这样 (2nd man) Well, this is it.
没错 它们就那么被挤塞在货车厢内 Exactly. The way they are crushed inside those lorries.
兽医用木板砸它们 兽医啊！ Vets hit them with planks. Vets!
激素使它们肥大 使它们易怒 The hormones make them so huge they're in agony!
叽叽呱呱唠叨肉牛 Boo hoo about calves,
他们那样对待螃蟹 也没见你们替螃蟹掉泪 they do that with crabs, they don't see you weeping about crabs.
我认为每个动物都应得到跟人一样的体面待遇 Well, I think every animal has a right to decent treatment as we do.
你错了 你个怪胎丑八怪 You're wrong and you're a grotesquely ugly freak.
不想跟你争 动物权益 是个极具争议的话题 Thanks. Animal rights. It's an extremely controversial subject,
不只是微不足道的宴会席上就肉食展开的激烈辩论 直至大打出手 and it's not just the odd dinner party punch-up over squealing meat.
西班牙人把马扔出塔楼 It's the Spaniards chucking horses out of towers,
中国人活吃猴脑 the Chinese sucking the brains out of live monkeys
现在 利比亚又出了一条令人震惊的新闻 and now this, a shocking example taken from a recent Libyan News.
(Speaking Arabic)
镜头拍摄的是Ayed Alabta节上的宗教祭祀 The footage shows a ritual from the Feast of Ayed Alabta,
(屏幕字： 夜间国际新闻 神圣运动频道)
一个所有的黎波里男人享受的户外狂欢时刻 an outdoor celebration in which the men of Tripoli have a great time
但对于他们的牛犊来说并不是这样 but the same cannot be said for their cattle.
庆典高潮时 At the climax of the feast,
一头牛被捆扎好塞进金属炮膛中 a cow is rounded up and driven into a metal tube,
一个装满火药的炮膛 a tube which is charged with explosives.
牛被整只射向天空 然后粉身碎骨掉落在地 The cow is fired through the air and lands in a crunched-up boneheap.
蜂拥上前的人们用他们的拳脚和棍子 Running men then clobber any remaining life out of it
从苟延残喘的牛的胸中逼出最后一口气 with their fists and feet and sticks.
牛的尸体被拖拽巡游一番后 The body is dragged about
成为了鬣狗豺狼的盘中餐 and then left for the dogs and jackals.
也许还有毒蝎 只是我不清楚它们是不是也吃肉 And possibly scorpions if they eat meat, I don't know.
今晚的《火眼金睛》将探讨 Tonight on Brass Eye...
动物 —— 我们是太仁慈还是太残忍？ Animals - are we too nice or too nasty?
《火眼金睛》
(屏幕字： 美国50年代的实验 1950年代的美国)
数百年以来 人类和动物的关系一直错综复杂 Over the centuries, man's relationship with animals has been complex.
在古埃及 猫被敬奉 In ancient Egypt, felines were worshipped
因为古埃及人觉得它们很有趣 because the Egyptians thought they were funny.
很多今天为人熟知的古埃及遗迹其实都是猫的纪念碑 Many of today's familiar relics are cat monuments.
这些巨型的猫被建造在地下 所以难以窥得全貌 These vast cat heads were built underground and seen by no one.
欧洲也有自己的动物传统 Europe, too, has its animal traditions.
在西班牙萨拉戈萨 每年的黄蜂洪流 仍然让街道为之沸腾 In Zaragoza, the streets still get crazy with the annual running of the wasp.
在上个世纪的英国 In Britain in the last century,
世道普遍接受 年轻绅士把自己的童贞 it was acceptable for a gentleman to lose his virginity
献给遍布伦敦的娼狗中的一只 to one of London's many whore dogs.
狄更斯和阿尔伯特亲王*都吹嘘过自己的这番经历 Dickens and Prince Albert* both boasted of their experience. (*维多利亚女王的丈夫)
现在 动物得到了更审慎的利用 Today animals are used more discreetly
成为政府大辇运转的润滑剂 as a vital lubricant in the wheels of government.
我从事了17年 It was my job for 17 years
为国会采购野生动物的工作 to procure wild beasts for the Houses of Parliament.
其中包括蝙蝠 长臂猿 I had to get bats, gibbons...
前公务员 Foster Pann Ex-civil servant Foster Pann
为国会采购了数以千计的办公用动物 purchased over a thousand animals to work in Westminster.
(Foster Pann 1977-95年间负责动物采购的常务次官)
迈克尔·赫塞尔廷*觉得 当自己愤怒时 Michael Heseltine* finds it very useful, if he's angry, (*英国保守党政治家 历任国防大臣 副首相)
掴猩猩的掌 很解气 to have an ape to slap.
肯尼斯·克拉克*在壁橱里藏了头小麋鹿 Kenneth Clarke* has a baby moose in a cupboard. (*英国保守党政治家 历任卫生 科教 内政 财政大臣)
运用最广泛的动物是斑马 (Morris) 'The most commonly used animals are zebras,
身上钉了文件往来穿行于办公室之间 hurrying between offices with documents pinned to their bodies.
Tony Benn*在70年代有一头貘 用于往来递送书信 Tony Benn* had a tapir in the '70s. He used to send messages on round while, (*英国工党政治家 历任能源 工业 技术部大臣)
或者说给上议院议员们的斥骂 我一直记得 or rude messages to the Lords. I always remember,
他总把信笺钉在貘的头上 he used to pin to the head of the tapir.
任务大多很有趣 我喜欢这份工作 Most of it was great fun. I enjoyed the job.
唯一一次的棘手任务是 The only real difficulty I had was
为Jack Ashley*从泰晤士河捕捉一条姥鲨 trying to haul a basking shark up the Thames for Jack Ashley*, (*英国工党政治家 国会议员)
那次捕猎不太成功 it didn't really work out.
姥鲨被拴在门廊上 过了大概3天就死了 It died after about three days of being tethered to the terrace.
Jack从那以后有好一阵子不被待见 Jack was quite unpopular after that for a while.
国会的肮脏内幕大抵如此 So much for the fat brass of Westminster
而这家伦敦东区的小酒馆 却对动物虐行无所不知 but this East London boozer knows all about animal abuse,
因为这里每周 because here every week,
啤酒客们集结观看勇士对战黄鼠狼 beer users gather to watch large men fight with weasels.
通常一屋子有40来个人 (Man) 'There's normally about 40 men in a room,
(屏幕字：非正常拍摄)
大家站成一圈 头上方吊着个麻袋 standing round in a ring and a bag above your head.
会有人负责拉绳 然后黄鼠狼就倾泻而下 Somebody pulls a string, the weasels cascade out,
你得尽可能速战速决杀死它们 and you've got as short a time as possible to despatch them.
我目睹过一个男人死于黄鼠狼对战 I've seen a man die weasel fighting.
(Bernard Lerring 前黄鼠狼对战参与者) 当你的对手是黄鼠狼 这比对手是人更艰苦 When you're fighting a weasel, he's bigger than a man.
如果你身手好 也能赚到钱 And there is money in it, if you're good.
以及其他外快——女人 There's other perks as well - the women.
她们会因为看到你踢爆了黄鼠狼而喜欢你 They fancy you if they see you kick the shit out of a weasel.
在历经13年 砸烂了4千多只黄鼠狼后 (Morris) 'After 13 years in which he pulped over 4,000 weasels,
Bernard Lerring 罹患了综合性精神失常 Bernard Lerring suffered a compound nervous breakdown.
我无法再对战黄鼠狼 于是找到份以水獭为生的 I lost it and I just picked up a living doing otters,
轻松的工作 水獭很温顺 which are very easy. They're very docile animals,
即使当它们被注射饱了老鼠激素 不骗你 and even when they pump them full of rat hormones, which they do...
你仍能轻松地秒杀它们 you can kill an otter in about a second.
只需踢爆它的脸 Just kick its face off.
很多合法运动项目也杀害动物 (Morris) 'There're many legal sports. They kill animals, too.
但我认为人们之所以纠结猎狐 But I think the thing that people get fussed about
(Patrick Da Fronk —— Blesney狩猎场 猎狐队负责人)
是因为狐狸是种小巧的褐色毛绒动物 非常接近于狗 is that a fox is a small, brown, furry animal, very much like a dog.
换种情况 他们就不会如此劳神了 I don't think they'd be nearly so worried
如果那只是装满筹码的长了四条腿的汽车 if it was a little four-legged car full of chips.
罪恶 建起了一个人与动物之间的关系数据库 (Morris) 'The evil in our relationship remains a paradox.
如果以受虐动物数为X轴 If you plot number of animals abused
使人类残忍的诱因为Y轴 against what makes people cruel,
其中一方的智商为Z轴 versus intelligence of either party,
这样绘出的图表没有即视感 你也可以用顶着狐狸头的柱形图来替代 the patern's so unreadable you might as well draw in fox heads on sticks.
倘若你如法绘制 将出现一个有趣的现象 And if you do that, an interesting thing happens -
“残忍”这个词将会亮起 the word "cruel" starts flashing.
那么 我们猎狐是否残忍？ So, are we cruel to hunt foxes?
狐狸并没有感受 那只是一堆数据串 The fox feels nothing. It's made of string.
还是我们太过仁慈？ Or are we too nice?
这是满满一车厢被送去非洲度假的苍蝇 This is a bus-load of flies that are being sent on holiday to Africa.
它们将在索马里欢度时光 但这应该么？ They'll enjoy Somalia but should they?
基因学家玩弄DNA能被认可么？ Can it possibly be right for gene men to play with DNA?
这一只 存活了数天 然后倒地死了 This one...survived a couple of days and then just keeled over and died.
这样不对么？ Is this wrong?
你还能怎样替这种行为开脱？ - How on earth can you justify this? - (Pigs squealing)
还有人能为这种人找到合理辩解么？ And has anybody ever come up with a reasonable argument for this?
(Squeaking)
当然 动物和人类的共存 历史悠久 Of course, animals and man have coexisted since long before we all evolved.
但当残忍暴行让我们的心淌血 But while cruelty makes our hearts bleed
就像术后伤口泡在热洗澡水中一般 Iike fresh operation scars in a hot bath,
我们的日常语言充斥对动物的侮蔑 比如“蠢猪”这种词 为什么？ our daily language is full of abuse, with expressions like "frog stupid"? Why?
为寻求解答 David Jatt 就此采访了 Carla Lane For some answers, David Jatt asked Carla Lane for them.
我今早在报上看到 I saw something in the paper this morning writing
(Carla Lane 动物权利争取者)
一只斗牛犬重创了一个女孩 我们不想看到这样的悲剧 A bulldog mauled a girl, we don't want that.
—是的 —但... - No. - But...
我们也不想看到女孩重创斗牛犬 We wouldn't like a girl to maul a bulldog, either.
是的 但继续看下去 No. But when you read on,
你会发现是几个男孩把狗扔进了花园 you learn that some boys threw the bulldog into the garden
—为了和狗打斗 —嗯 - to get a fight together. - Yeah.
现在狗被撂倒了 但没人站出来说 Now, the bulldog was put down but nobody said,
“男孩们在把狗放进花园前 都对它做了什么？” "What did they do to the bulldog before they put it in the garden? "
他们扯住狗尾巴 这样扭绞它 刺激它的中枢神经系统 They take the tail, they wind it up like that, tweak its central nervous system
—狗就像个火箭被点了火 —是的 - and it goes like a bloody rocket. - Yes.
—事实是... —但狗已经被放倒了 这话题打住 - And the fact is... - But they put it down, no thought.
没问题 现在 狗已被镇法 Of course. Now, they put the dog down...
你认为该怎么处置那些扭绞了狗尾巴 让它变成了像一只上足了发条的... What would you like to happen to the people that winded up its tail and fired it off like some elastic powered...
我无法用语言描述 送他们去监狱还不够 There are no words to describe. Prison's not good enough,
监狱就是床 早餐 电视机 because prison's become bed and breakfast and telly.
—监狱条件太好 那么送去囚牢？ —也许他们应该... - Prison's too good. What about jail? - Perhaps they ought to be...
—他们应该被扭绞尾骨 —是的 - They should have their coccyx twisted. - Yeah.
—但那时人们会说... —我能这么说么 - Now people are going to say... - Can I just say,
这张由报社制图工绘制的图表 this, which has been prepared by the news graphic people,
从一个视角阐述了事件的发生 represents what's going on in one way.
(饼图从红色块起顺时针方向： 人类视角看问题→希望→恐惧→保护→动物角度看问题)
你会认同他们的观点么？ Is that the sort of thing you'd agree with?
“人类视角” 是的 我认同 "Human version of..." Yes, I think so.
因为我与内阁大臣们打了20年交道 Because I've been 20 years going to the ministers
是他们开发了人类的各种丑行 and they're finding out what man does.
—是的 —不单是对牛羊 - Yeah. - Not only to calves and sheep,
对所有动物 什么把青蛙腿接到... to everything - frog's legs they're onto...
—东区的黄鼠狼角斗 —无所不有 - weasel fighting in the East End. - Everything.
我说的是捕捉野生黄鼠狼 I mean pulling live weasels out of the wild
—然后让他们与人对战 —好吧 但你知道动物们 - and making them fight a man. - Yeah. And you know they have...
都有一些惹人怜爱的好习惯 they do have endearing, wonderful habits, animals.
—我养过2只豚鼠 都养到11岁 —天啊！ - I had 2 guinea pigs, they were both 11 years old. - Jesus!
—其中1只死了 —然后呢 - And one died. - Yeah.
知道么 临死前 它给自己洗了脸 And you know just before it died, it washed its little face.
今天与您聊了这么多 我们能得出“对”或“错”的结论了么？ From what you're saying, have we got it right or wrong? So far.
你指人类么？ “错”！ What, people? Wrong!
—我们来看这个 —我要说上亿遍 人类是错误的 - We're right here. - A hundred million times. People wrong.
(钟面： 白色部分“对” 蓝色部分“错”) 有没有可能指向这 甚至是这？ What chance of getting even here, let alone here?
哎 没多大可能 Oh, dear. Not much.
这么指呢？ Here?
在你我的有生之年 没可能 Never in my lifetime or yours.
再看一下这样 我们试着拨动指针 但遇到了阻力 Just watch this, then. We're trying this, there's a tension,
—它又回到了原位 —我同意 - it goes back like that. - I think so.
在伦敦大轰炸期间 很多大钟遭到损毁 (Woman) 'During the Blitz, when many clocks were destroyed,
(屏幕字： 动物新闻)
伦敦人通过一只狗自发的高台跳水活动来获悉时间 Londoners knew the time by watching a dog throw itself off a high board,
它每分钟跳一次 24小时不间断 持续了8个月 which it did precisely every 60 seconds, 24 hours a day, for over eight months.
制度化的残暴是一回事 Institutionalised cruelty is one thing
爆发性的神经短路又是另一回事 but the twisted brain-wrong of a one-off man-mental is quite another.
画面切给Ted Maul Ted Maul disturbs.
(远景人物——Ted Maul) 威尔特郡耕地是片宁静的乡村天堂 Arable Wiltshire, a peaceful country haven
人们过着像奶酪广告中那样的纯天然生活 supporting rural life Iike something out of a cheese ad.
看上去无忧无虑 It doesn't look troubled...
但问题出现了 至少对于那儿的某头牛来说 but it is, at least for one of these cows.
塞些钱 买罐这个 然后人的理智就像破篱笆一样被推倒了 Take some money, this, and a human mind as bent as a bad hedge.
6个月前 一头公园农场的普通牛的生活 是这样的 Six months ago, life for a cow here at Park Farm was pretty much like this.
安然无事 Nothing much going on here.
但去年6月 针对牛的标语 不明原因地 开始在各牛棚蔓延 But last June, out of nowhere, anti-cow slogans started appearing on the sheds,
标语精心设计 用以彻底打击牛的自信 the text specifically designed to undermine the cows' confidence.
当地报纸灵敏地嗅到了一桩怪事 Local press caught whiff of a weird one
(报纸： 《喷涂牛的禽兽》 —谁干的？为了什么？ —糟透了)
捣乱分子直接在一头牛身上 when the vandal shot his paint straight at the cow,
喷涂了“蠢货”二字 in the form of words like "twat"
后来还有“傻逼” 以及“浑球” and later "fucknut" and "arsecandle",
这场运动被推向高潮 as the campaign plunged into overdrive.
接着开始了疯狂的锁牛行动 Next came a wave of sick attachments -
牛被锁在文件柜上 cow attached to a filing cabinet,
牛被锁在置于超市购物车中的儿童车上 cow attached to a Mini engine in a shopping trolley.
到底怎样的脑回路才能让人做出这种事？ What sort of mind would do this?
我们联系了众多美国的精神病专家 We contacted a huge bank of psychiatrists in the States.
他们给出的答案是 “那家伙是基佬” They told us, "The guy's a homo."
—(电话：) 是个基佬 —后来取得了重大突破 - (Phone) 'A homosexual. - 'Then, a breakthrough.
捣乱分子被摄像头捉到了 The vandal was caught on camera.
“你不穿内裤” (Man) 'You got no knickers.
(农场主儿子的手持式摄像机拍摄画面——从一窗口拍摄)
在农场主儿子的手持式摄像机拍到的画面中 嫌犯正在作案 (Maul) 'This farmer's son's handicam footage shows him at work...
“滚蛋” (Man) 'Fuck off.
他对着话筒悉索咒骂 声音直接传到戴在牛头上的耳机里 ..whispering inept insults down a wire, straight into the cow's head.
“你也不知道电是什么东西是吧？” (Man) '..don't even know what electricity is, do you?
这个男人叫Simon Hotrin 当地人称Chobb (Maul) 'The man was Simon Hotrin, known locally as Chobb.
—"离电线远点" —他干各种杂活 住在田里 (Chobb) 'Push off my wire. (Maul) 'He does all the jobs and lives in a field.
“撸管的” (Chobb) 'Toss arse.
但那天晚上 Chobb发现了一样新乐趣 But that night, Chobb had discovered a bad new hobby.
“白痴 该死的白痴 白痴 (Chobb) 'Idiot, fucking idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot.
傻瓜 该死的傻瓜白痴” Stupid, stupid fucking idiot.
貌似这个案子的判决不言自明 但事实相反 (Maul) 'It seemed the resulting court action would be an open-and-shut case, but it wasn't.
以下画面来自BBC西部地区新闻 These pics from the Beeb's Western Region show.
但由于诉讼程序问题 他被当庭释放了 ..but walked free on a technicality.
当地民众情绪高涨 (Maul) 'Local feeling ran high.
一个激进派甚至愤怒地装扮成一头牛 One activist got so angry he donned a cow suit
在法庭门口直击Hotrin and lamped Hotrin right outside the court.
他给他当头一击 然后迅速逃离 好身手 Wow, he chopped him in the gob and he's legged it. Great running.
也许Chobb是自由了 但他还欠世人一个解释 He may have been free but Chobb owed the world an explanation.
当心我用屎糊你的脸 你个基佬！ I'm gonna muck your lens, you gay sod!
Hotrin拒绝接受任何采访 Hotrin prevented himself from giving a real interview
但我们在造访时 通过他打开的窗户偷了些文件 获取了重要线索 but during our visit, we gleaned vital clues from some documents we nicked through an open window.
文件显示 Hotrin已经被逼疯了 These docs show that Hotrin had been driven nuts
因为他住的土地归牛所有 because the land on which he lives is owned by the cow.
在Edith Bates 的遗嘱中 这个生前爱牛 In the will of Edith Bates, a local crone who loved cattle,
性格古怪的老太婆 then eccentric, now dead,
让牛继承了这片地 the cow inherited the land
还有一个专门的银行账户收敛地租 and a special bank account for stockpiling rent.
但对牲畜来说 Meanwhile, for the beast,
他们对金钱和敌对的人类一无所知 which knows nothing of money or bitter mankind,
却从此开启了噩梦般的牛生 life has become a living cowmare,
这都亏了那个疯老太婆不经大脑的善行 thanks to the thoughtless beneficence of a mad old woman.
现在我们得出对错结论了么？ 看跳舞的小基友给出答案吧 So far do we have it right or wrong? Let's have a look at the answer prancer.
(# Renaissance music)
谢谢 接下来的讨论将真正发人深思 Thanks. Find out exactly what to think next.
下面您将看到 David Jatt 对话 Peregrine Worsthorne Still to come up - David Jatt meets Peregrine Worsthorne.
问题是这样 Here's a point.
我们处决黄蜂 但不处决狗 We execute wasps but we don't execute dogs.
(Peregrine Worsthorne爵士 ——《星期日电讯报》前编辑) 我们处决黄蜂是因为它们蜇人 而狗给予人快乐 We execute wasps because they sting us and dogs give us pleasure.
黄蜂真的蜇人么？ Do wasps really sting us?
是的 它们蛰过我 看上去就像蛰伤 They do, they have stung me and it seemed like a sting.
真的是蛰伤么？ Was it actually a sting?
呃 我叫它蛰伤 人们都这么叫 Uh... I call it a sting. I'm a creature of habit.
我从没被黄蜂蛰过 I've never been stung by a wasp.
我不太能相信 只是有传言说它们蛰人 I don't necessarily believe... We're told they sting.
我被黄蜂蛰过 它们确实蛰人 Well, I have been stung by a wasp and they do sting.
人们也说蛇会蛰人 但蛇是咬人 People say that snakes sting and snakes bite.
我没被蛇蛰过 这点我很庆幸 I haven't been stung by a snake, I'm glad to say...
—因为它们只会咬 —也没被咬过 - That's cos they bite. - Or bite.
奇怪的是 我相信蛇咬 Now, that, weirdly, I believe,
虽然我从没被蛇咬过 and yet I've never been bitten by a snake.
可为什么我没法相信... Why don't I believe...
为什么很多人都没法相信黄蜂蛰人？ Why do a lot of people not believe that wasps sting?
等到夏天 来我们南巴克斯的庄园吧 Come out into our garden in South Bucks on a summer's day,
我给你逮只黄蜂 I'll find you a wasp and...
—用它蛰我 —什么？ - Sting me with it. - What?
你想用那黄蜂蛰我？ You'd sting me with a wasp?
—今天话题是讨论... —没错 - This is a conversation... - Yes.
《火眼金睛》第一节 完
《火眼金睛》第二节
在我们的讨论结束前 (Morris) 'Before it all stops,
再去牛津校园采访一位导师 a school tour for the Oxford don
(无肉星球充满活力： “食肉”是否只是人类受心理及遗传习惯驱使？) 他相信所有动物都是素食者 who believes all animals are vegetarian.
那么 鳄鱼吃什么？ Natalie你说 Now, what do crocodiles eat? Natalie?
吃其他动物 Other animals.
不 它们吃草 - (Groans) - No, they eat grass.
为什么野生动物纪录片总是误导我们 Why wildlife documentaries are often misleading...
这有一组为人熟知的 狮子猎杀牛羚的镜头 (Woman) There is a famous footage of a lion killing a wildebeest -
—您对此作何解释？ - How do you explain that?
—狮子也许是追逐了牛羚 - The lion may have been chasing the wildebeest,
(Jonathan Kwattes 牛津大学肠道专家) 但它追逐牛羚 是为了赶上去塞给它一个土豆 in fact, it've been chasing it to catch up with it to give it a potato.
饲养动物的行为会不会越走越远？ And can animal breeding go too far?
David Jatt 将就此采访马术选手 Oliver Skeete A discussion point for David Jatt and horse jumper Oliver Skeete.
那些球形的牛 是因为没有腿所以才糟糕么？ Is it because they don't have legs that spherical cows are so bad?
还是因为其中隐藏着某些虐行？ 我是问 问 问... Or is it because there's some kind of cruelty involved? I mean, what what what what?
其实我不知道他们对牛做了什么好吧？ I'm not actually sure what they do to the cows, all right?
(Oliver Skeete —— 马术障碍赛选手)
他们用一种特殊方式养牛 重组牛的基因 They breed them in a particular direction, interfere with their genes.
所以那些牛就只是一个个肉球 so they're just a big ball of meat.
哦 我可不想吃那种东西 No, I wouldn't like to eat that definitely.
如果知道自己吃的是那种牛 我会疯掉 If I knew I was eating that, I would go absolutely mad,
这就像有人在面包上擤了把鼻涕 然后递给你 it's like somebody putting a bit of snot in a bit of bread and give it to you.
是么？这种感觉？ 假设那些在餐厅用餐的人 Really? That sort of thing? Somebody's at a restaurant should give this scenario, right?
电视机前的人 他们怀疑盘子里的肉是球形牛 Somebody out there, and they get what they think is a piece of spherical cow on their plate,
—他们要怎么办？ —眼睛一闭就吃下去了 - what do they do? - They just eat it, don't they?
但他们应该怎么办？ 凭良心说 是啊 是啊 But what SHOULD they do, for God's sake? Yeah, yeah, yeah...
他们应该对此大发雷霆 What they should do really is make a stink about it,
应该打电话叫人 应该抗议吃到这样的肉 they should start phoning up people and start complaining about the meat they're eating.
说“这是球形牛身上的肉 你们连这都敢卖？” "This came from a spherical cow, how dare you sell this to me? "
没错 就是这样 That's right, of course.
还有更多新闻 来自上个月 Mike Fox 的大象权益运动 There was more good news for animals with Mike Fox's elephant campaign last month.
听我详细解释 Let me explain.
如果这只大象叫Mike Fox If this elephant was called Mike Fox,
那它就和上月为它们争取权益的活动人同名了 then it would have exactly the same name as the man that did the campaign about the elephant last month.
Mike Fox 和 Andrew Dean Mike Fox and Andrew Dean.
这两人仇视动物园 These men hate zoos.
他们携手创立了“世界减少动物被囚禁问题组织” Together they run the World Organisation For Decreasing Captive Animal Problems
简称“世少动禁问组” - WOFDCAP,
他们兼并了 “反对动物园中刺激及戏弄动物暴行”组织 which incorporating Against Animal Anger And Autocausal Abuse Atrocities in Zoos
亦即“反动激暴”组织 - AAAAAAAZ.
2周前 他们看到了Karla的报道 Two weeks ago they read about Karla,
那只因囚禁而狂躁的东德母象 an East German elephant who'd been so upset by captivity
把鼻子插到了自己的菊花里 she'd stuck her trunk in her anus.
很快 一场运动掀起了 Karla的困境被拍成视频 In seconds, a campaign was born to publicise Karla's plight in a video
告知世界有种病叫“动物精神病” and tell the world about zoochosis,
(如果不在2周内把她的鼻子从菊花中拔出 她就会死) 这病会让动物发疯 the disease that drives animals nuts.
当时Jilly Cooper*正忙于自己书的创作 Jilly Cooper* was busy writing a book. (*英国记者 作家)
—喂 —Jilly从书房出来了么？ - 'Hello? - Has Jilly come out of her shed?
但Fox成功说服她为困境中的Karla画了幅像 But Fox persuaded her to send a drawing of Karla in her plight.
非常感谢你的画 (Fox) Thank you very much for your picture.
我把画给Karla看了 我觉得她微微笑了一下 We showed Karla and I think she gave a little elephant smile.
哦 太好了 我要哭了 太感人了 Oh, I love that, I want to cry, that's sweet.
—动物园方面 至今不承认问题 —他们是混蛋！ - The zoo is, you know, still not acknowledging the problems. - They're Bastards!
吉米·佩奇* 会安排她住宿 She could be accommodated by Jimmy Page*. (*英国著名吉他手 音乐人)
—太好了 其实 如果不是因为我这本该死的书 —哦 你那该死的书 - Absolutely. I mean, it's only about this terribly bloody book. - Oh, bloody book!
哦 伙计 你太让我欣慰了 Oh, duck, you've made me very happy.
—好了 亲爱的 再见 —再见 - 'OK, darling, bye. - Bye.
身穿印制了Jilly绘图的T恤 With Jilly's drawing on her shirt,
布里特·艾克拉诺* 向世界宣传了“世少动禁问组” Britt Ekland* told the world about WOFDCAP. (*旅居英国的瑞典女演员 《007金枪人》中的邦女郎)
去年他们成功制止了企鹅 Last year they stopped penguins
在悉尼动物园的玻璃房里拉弓对射 catapulting each other through the glass roof at Sydney Zoo.
上个月他们制止了一只猪从树上跳下葬身蟒腹 Last month they stopped a pig throwing itself out of a tree onto a python
从切斯特当地的二选一死法中救下了它 in a two-way death pact in Chester.
现在他们要救助东德的大象Karla Now they want to help Karla, an East German elephant
它的象鼻指戳内脏 who has got her trunk jammed up her own guts.
(她的象鼻沾上了菊花里的粪 实在太恶心了！) 我无法理解那些人的心理和生理状态 I can't understand the mentality or the physical make-up, mental make-up
那些让一只大象陷入如此困境的人 of anybody that lets an elephant get into that condition.
保罗·丹尼尔斯* 的出境会让所有电视观众为之涕零 (Morris) 'Paul Daniels'* contribution moved all you saw it, to horrible tears. (*英国魔术师)
大象Karla现在团成一只灰色的球 Karla the elephant is currently curled up in kind of a grey ball.
她的鼻子堵在了菊花里 Her trunk is actually stuck up her anus
那些人不帮她 我们必须帮 and they're not trying to help her, so we must.
我再录一段 你们可以之后剪进去 I'll give you another one that you can cut in later,
我只是想再说一遍 你们后期剪进去 I'll just say that and you can cut it in later.
是的 走吧 去大象那儿 去别的地方 Yeah, go, well, go to the elephant, go to somewhere else
摄像机还在拍么？ and...still rolling?
来吧 帮我们一起把象鼻拔出来 Come on, help us get that trunk out.
还要特别鸣谢角斗士老狼 (Morris) 'And so thank Christ for Wolf the Gladiator,
他也为我们录了不短的一段 who joined not a moment too soon.
警急情况 Karla的菊花在把她的头往里吸 Urgent news - Karla has started to ingest her own head.
她的排泄机能已经毁坏 Her dung pump mechanism has blown.
到处弥漫蔬菜的腐烂气体 There's bloody vegetable gas everywhere.
看在上帝份上 帮我们拔出象鼻吧 For God's sake, help us pull her trunk out.
她需要我老狼的力量 She needs Wolf power
不然她会爆发 喷出一场芋泥雨 or she will explode in a shower of pulped yams.
请帮助我们 Please help me and AAAAAAAZ
把Karla的象鼻从菊花里拔出来 get Karla's trunk out the end of her guts.
以老狼的激昂宣言为契机 With that ace burst of Wolf,
“世少动禁问组”的呼吁运动进入了最后阶段 the WOFDCAP appeal was ready for its final phase.
你们听到很多Karla的消息 You've heard a great deal about Karla,
(Nicholas Parsons *英国广播电视节目制作人 演员)
那只可怜的东德动物园大象 the poor elephant in this East German zoo
正遭受可怕的巨大磨难 who's suffering horrendously, horribly.
伟大的人类学家 德斯蒙德·莫利斯 Desmond Morris, the great anthropologist,
《裸猿》的作者 the author of The Naked Ape,
比我们任何人都了解动物的他 who understands more about animals than probably anybody,
为Karla写了首小诗 has written this little poem about Karla.
我为你们念一下 I'd like to read it to you.
“我们不就是一群蠢货？ "Aren't we a bunch of fuckwits?
“大象鼻子够到自己的菊花 "An elephant could no more get its trunk up its arse
“并不比我们舔到自己的蛋蛋更困难” "than we could lick our balls."
现在 我们离答案不远了 After that, we're obviously pretty close to a solution.
强调一下需要记住的3点 首先 残暴还没被根除 There're 3 points to remember. Firstly, cruelty has not been eliminated.
这2只羊将在下个周末拳击对垒 These 2 goats are going to box each other's heads in next weekend
没有法律可以制止它们 and there's nothing the law can do about it.
另一方面 我们又太仁慈 On the other hand, we can be too nice.
这位妇女将她毕生积蓄用于整容 This woman spent her life savings on plastic surgery
为使她的狗看起来像拉尔夫·费因斯 to make her dog look like Ralph Fiennes.
(Granita Rocksand 给她的狗整了容) 它现在比原先更帅了 It's a little bit an improvement on the original.
接下来我们看到的 无疑是出于妥协 Well, the way ahead's obviously through compromise.
下月起将实行新的屠宰管理条例 Next month sees introduction of new regulations for slaughterhouses.
新条例是怎样的？ How are these gonna work?
我们每周杀掉4百头牛 为了在一定程度上调节平衡 We kill 400 cows a week and to redress the balance, to some extend,
(Bill Laswell —— 屠宰场工头)
未来我们将大约每6周 杀掉一个屠宰场员工 we'll be slaughtering one member of staff every six weeks approximately.
—就是他么？ —是的 - That's why him comes up? - Yeah, this is it.
你本人也同意么？ Are you happy about it?
(神奇·石膏 —— 屠宰场员工)
—哦 是的 是的 —谢谢你来现场 谢谢 所以即使 - Oh, yes, yes. - Thank you for coming in. Thank you. So whatever you...
—你好 —你好 - Hello. - Hello.
所以即使你忘记今晚的节目 也请记住这个 So whatever you forget about tonight's programme, remember this...
介绍一下 接着我们要讨论牛 Introduction time, let's talk about cows.
这是一头牛的坟墓 This is the grave of a cow.
就像您看到的 它在被人杀死时承受了不必要的痛苦 As you'll see, it was killed in unnecessary pain, by a man.
(牛 1994-1995 在被人杀死时承受了不必要的痛苦)
—我们并不怀疑这一点吧？ —是的 我同意 - I think we agree with that, don't we? - I agree, yes.
如果我们觉得英国现状堪忧 欧洲现状堪忧 If we think it's bad in this country, if it's bad in Europe,
那么利比亚更糟 it's worse in Libya.
看一下这盘录像 Take a look at this piece of VT.
人们聚集起来 用脚踹死了它 (Jatt) 'The men gather round and finish it off with their feet,
把它拖进城里 最后通常就把它剩给了豺狼和狗 drag it through town and leave it quite often to the jackals and dogs.
事实上 这篇新闻的最后一句话是记者的 In fact, the end word of this news report from his mouth is,
"哇 看那些该死的混蛋" "Wow, look at that dead bastard."
我们刚才看到的事件 利比亚的屠牛者 That incident itself, that we've just seen. The Libyan cattle slaughter,
—是对还是错？ —错 - right or wrong? - Wrong.
—这样的错误程度？ —是的 毫无疑问是错的 - That wrong? - Yes, absolutely wrong.
好了 可以不用拍了 OK, yeah, you can kill the tape.
—是的 就拍到这吧 —别拍了 - Oh, yes, please, kill the tape. - Kill the tape.
“我是在《护滩使者》拍摄现场的亚历姗卓拉·保罗* (Phone) 'Hi, this is Alexandra Paul* from Baywatch. (*美国女演员)
请现在就帮我把Karla的头从她菊花里拔出来 Please help me get Karla's head out of her guts now
赶在她爆发前 before she explodes.
—体会一下她现在的感受 —哦 天啊 (Fox) 'Just imagine how she feels. (Paul) 'Oh, gosh.
啊 天啊 我刚收到了这样一条消息 (Fox) 'Oh, goodness me! Goodness! I've just received this.
我们的兽医在1小时前成功探入菊花内 Now, our vet has managed to get in an hour ago...
然后呢 (Paul) 'Uh-huh...
她成功地把Karla的头拽了出来 神啊！ ..and she managed to pull Karla's head out. Oh, God!
她情况怎样？ (Paul) 'Well, what does it say?
她的头是拔出来了 但萎缩了 (Fox) 'Her head came out but it had shrunk
现在又小又滑又白 and it was now small and smooth and white.
她没再把头塞回去吧？ (Paul) 'So did she put it back in?
不 她就顶着个 和人差不多大的小白头 到处走 (Fox) 'No, she's walking around with a smooth white head about the size of a man's head.
—天啊 —她有眼睛 - 'God... - 'She's got eyes...
但她没耳朵 ..but she hasn't got any ears.
另外 好像我们的救援人员 Andrew Dean 被吸进去了 It looks like one of our helpers, Andrew Dean, got sucked in.
—不会吧！ —他通过一根管子在呼吸 - 'No! - 'He's breathing through a tube.
—天啊 —他被卡在里面了 - 'Oh, Jesus. - 'And he's stuck inside.
我觉得你该让这新闻上报纸 (Paul) 'I think you should get a press release out.
哪家报社愿意发表？ 你懂的 (Fox) 'Which paper would print it? You know.
那你传给美联社 (Paul) 'Well, you put it over AP.
你让我每天连射？ (Fox) 'You put it over a pea?
我让你通过网络递信 (Paul) 'You put it over the wire services.
什么？你让我每天练网球连发？ (Fox) 'What, you put a wire over a pea?
不不 这实在... (Paul) 'No, no, this is, um...
网球是不是可以当接收器？ (Fox) 'Is it like a distribution pea?
我联系好网球 每天练习连射 I phone up a pea and I send it down the wire to the pea
然后网球就能飞向各大报社 and then the pea sends it out to all the newspapers.
是吧 (Paul) 'Yeah.
—非常感谢你 —没事 - 'Thanks very much, Alexandra. - 'OK, and, um...
我会把你的问候带给所有相关人员 尤其是Andrew (Fox) 'I'll pass on your good wishes to all concern, particularly to Andrew...
如果他还活着 if he's still going.
(Hangs up phone)