I have certain rules I live by
my first rule I don't believe anything the government tells me
now and I gotta tell you folks
I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags
I consider them I consider them to be symbols and I need symbols to the
simple-minded
good element it's time
what time is it what time is it look to it to people bother you with that
people bug you all the time committee asking you what time is it
what time is it bothers me man what time is it
as though I personally responsible for keeping time
I don't know knows I got one of these my own
nobody knows what time it is what time is it all the calendars a different
Chinese hebrew Weston nobody knows when it is might be the middle last week for
all we know
when are we we know where we are with when are we
I don't know kinky track time use to find
give an example there's a moment coming
that he had school in the future
so on the way your cunt
it is world it's gone
does not present he was so what I was it well you mean our when you ask me
has no present everything is the near future other recent past
no welcome to the present no comments again
to present and now the all-new
when we can't get anything done there's no time and
every time I sit down to work the time change
I call this piece
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each item sold separately batteries not included mileage may vary
all sales are final allow six weeks for delivery
some items not available some assembly required some restrictions may apply
shop by mail order by phone tried in your home get one for your car
all entries become our property employees not eligible entry fee is not
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restrictions apply void where prohibited except in indiana
so come on you come on in for a free demonstration
and a free consultation with our friendly professional staff
are courteous and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a
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a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select
gourmet leather style while it with detachable key chain
and a pencil holder it's our way of saying thank you
and if you're not completely satisfied you pay nothing
simply return the unused portion for a full refund no questions asked
it's our way of saying thank you keep your free gift
actually it's our way of saying bend over just a little further
and let us take this big dick into your ass a little bit deeper
people of fuckin job you can say what you want about this country and I love
this place I love the freedoms we used to have
love I look back
I love it when it didn't take a fucking catastrophe to get us to care for one
another
I love the fact that we're on camera all the time from all angles
but you know it you can say what you want about american I say I love this
place I wouldn't have it any other way would look at any other time in history
in any other place but say what you want about America land of the free home the
brain
we got some dumb ass motherfuckers floating around as
job ass mother fucking now
now obviously that doesn't include this audience I understand that
you seem intelligent perceptive but the rest of them holy jumpin fucking
shitballs
dumber than a second coat of paint
SHS rant and rave in this age is blowing off steam I got a little evidence to
support my plane
it just seems to me seems to me
that only a really low IQ population
could have taken this beautiful continent this magnificent american
landscape
that we inherited well actually we stole it from the mexican indians but
hey it was nice one we stolen
look pretty good it was pristine
paradise have you seen it lately
have you taken a good look at it lately is fuckin embarrassing
only a nation a unenlightened half-wits
could have taken this beautiful place and turned it into what it is today
a shopping mall up big fuckin shopping mall
you know that that's all you got
that's all you got your folks my left to my love mall after mall
many many malls major malls and many more they put the many malls in between
the major malls
and in between a menu also put the mini marts and in between in the March got
the car lots gas stations muffler shops laundromats cheap motels fast food joint
strip clubs and dirty bookstores
america the beautiful one big transcontinental commercial cesspool
had a people feel about all this how people feel about living in a coast to
coast shopping mall
well lately it's just fuckin dandy
they think it is cool as can be
because americans love them all they love the law that's where they get to
satisfy their two most prominent
addictions at the same time shop n
and eaten millions have semi-conscious Americans day after day
shuffling through the malls shopping and eating
especially eating americans love to eat they are they up
of fatally attracted to the slow death a fast-food hot dogs corn dogs triple
bacon cheeseburgers deep fried butter dip in pork fat Cheez Whiz mayonnaise ok
barbecue mozzarella patty melt
America lead a a a if you are selling sauteed raccoons assholes on a stick
americans with by then
and eat them these people these people are you fishin
professional compulsive consumers that's that then they think that as there as
the their national pride it's their civic duty
consumption this the new national pastime fuck baseball
its consumption the only true lasting American value that's left
by and days buying things people spend money they don't have on things they
don't need money they don't have on things they don't need so they can max
out the credit card spend the rest the last man eighty percent interest on some
the cost £12.50
and they didn't like it when they got home anyway not too bright folks not
till fucking break
but why things are the name for what they are thinking to be a little more
true than names you know they've tried to clean up
to clean about advertising claims on clean up some other names like X lol
acne and bass top bullshit with things we call it they are to be on a new car
the 1977 P satiate the
a division of United consumer fuckers
you know whenever you're exposed advertising in this country
you realize all over again that America's leading industry
is still the manufacture distribution
packaging and marketing %uh bullshit high-quality bullshit
world-class design your bullshit to be sure
hospital tested clinically proven bullshit
but bullshit nonetheless and always amuses me that so many people seem to
think
that bullshit only comes from certain sources
you know advertising politicians salesmen
not true bullshit is everywhere
bullshit is rampant parents are full of shit
if teaches a full a shit clergyman holy shit
law enforcement people a full a shit the entire country is completely full of
shit
in fact this country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that
all men are created equal
dad is what's known
as being stunningly stunningly fully share
and I think people show their ignorance when they say they want politicians to
be honest
why are these people talking about if
honesty was suddenly introduced into politics it would throw everything off
the whole system want to relax and I think deep down the american people know
that the american people like their bullshit out front
where they can get a good strong whiff up that's why they reelected clancy
lesson
for might be fully shared but he let you know it
dole tried to hide it my -3
bullshit cross-check people don't believe that shit Clinton said hi I'm
phoneless shit no idea like that
and the people said at least he's honest
Lacey's honest about being funny shit
it's like the business world
all businessman are completely fully sheer
just the worst kind of people you could ever want to run into
businessman and approval that is they don't even trust each other
don't trust each other when a businessman is negotiating a deal
the first thing he does is to automatically assume that the other guy
is a complete lying prick
who's trying to fuck 'em on the deal so he has to do everything he can to fuck
the other guy a little bit harder and a little bit faster
and then when it comes to dealing with customers
that's when you get the big smile that's when you get a big smile
businessman always has a big smile on his face
as he carefully positions himself directly behind the customary
unzips his pants
and services the account
we specialize in customer service
you heard that now you know what it means whoever coined the phrase
let the buyer beware was probably
bleeding from the ass all
the
advertising sells the things you don't need you can't afford that are
overpriced and don't work
and they do it by exploiting your fears and insecurities
you don't have any they'll be glad to give you a few by showing you a nice
picture of a woman with big tits
that's the essence have advertising big tits
frighteningly big tits
speaking a big tits what about show business showbiz is completely dishonest
corrupt and follow us yet
but in a nice way with
funny expensive drugs and perverted sex gonna be full of shit
might as well enjoy your work
then you have the media not just the news media let's include a mall
the media almost literally exploding with bullshit
because they're located right at the crossroads of all the other bullshit
the media are made up of equal parts advertising
politics businesses public relations and show business
these people is sitting right at bullshit junction with
this enough bullshit in the media protects us to open a branch office
do you still have enough left over to start to law firms in a Christian
bookstore
because folks I gotta take when it comes to bullshit
truly major-league bullshit
you have to stand back in all
in of the all-time heavyweight champion
a false promises an exaggerated claims
religion organized religion its
no Hynix acts religion
easily easily has the best bullshit story of all time
think about it religion
as convinced people that is an invisible man
living in the sky who watches
everything you do every minute of every day
a and the Invisible Man has a list
up ten specific things he doesn't want you to do
and if you do any of these days he will send you to a special place
burning and fire
small tortured anguish
for you to live forever and suffer and bernie & Stream
until the end of time but he loves you
the you
he loves you haiti needs money
the always needs money
he's all powerful all present all-knowing in all wise
just can't handle money
religion takes in billions and billions of dollars
they pay no taxes somehow they always need money
you talk about a good bullshit story site may be permitted a small pond
Holly shit okay
K
expand a little while it's been awhile since I've been here in a couple things
to happen in that time
highlights of a little bit about the war in the persian gulf
you two wins in the persian gulf you know my favorite part in that war
it's the first war we ever had that was on every channel plus cable
and the war got good ratings still didn't
got good ratings well we like war we like war were a warlike
pay Paul we like more because we're good at it
you know why we're good at it cuz we get a lot of practice this country's only
two hundred years old and already we've had ten major wars
the average a major war every 20 years in this country so we're good at it
that's a good thing we are not very good at anything else anymore
cancel the peace in car
can make a TV set or a VCR work the flock the
got no steel industry left can educate our young people can't get health care
all people
weekend bob the shit outta your country alright
especially if your country is full of brown people
call me like at all we that's are happy
I that's our new job in the world bombing brown people
iraq panama grenada Libya you got some brown people in your country talent to
watch stuff lockout follow
got damn fun now when's the last white people you can remember that we bomb can
you remember the last white you remember any white people
we've never bombed the Germans also the only ones and that's only because they
were trying to cut in on our action
they want to dominate the world
bullshit that's our fight against now we only palm brown people
not because they're trying to cut in our action just because they're brown
I you probably noticed I don't feel about that war
the way we were told we were supposed to feel about that war
the way we were ordered and instructed by the United States government to feel
about that war
desi say my mind doesn't work that way
I got this real moron thing I do it's called thinking
and I'm not a very good american because I like to for my own opinions
I don't just rollover 1 I'm told to
sad to say most americans just roll over on command
not me I have certain rules I live by
my first rule I don't believe anything the government tells me
now
and I don't take very seriously the media or the press in this country
with the case in the persian gulf war were nothing more than unpaid employees
of the Department of Defense
Andrew most the time most the time function is kind of an unofficial public
relations agency for the united states government
so I don't listen to them I don't really believe in my country
and I gotta tell you folks I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and
American flags
I consider them I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the
simple-minded
I look at your own little bit differently
to me war is a lot of trick waiting okay simple thing that's all it is war as a
whole lotta man standing out in the field waving their pricks at one another
man
are insecure about the size of their direction so they have to kill one
another or the that's what all that asshole
shocked bullshit is all about that's what all that
adolescent macho male posturing and strutting in bars in locker rooms is all
about
it's called dick fear are terrified that their tricks are inadequate
and so they have to compete with one another to feel better about themselves
tensions wars the ultimate competition basically men are killing each other in
order to improve their self-esteem
you don't have to be a historian or political scientist to see the big your
dick foreign policy theory at work it sounds like this
lot they have bigger dicks mom now and of course the bombs in the Rockets in
the bullets
are all shaped like dicks it's a sub-conscious me to project the penis
into other people's affairs
small fought game with pave my
well
you know if I had to say he's to you what is the answer I would say massive
bloodshed
I really would I don't relieved honestly deep down believe in political action I
think this system
contracts and experience as it wants to it accommodates these changes
I think the civil rights movement was an accommodation on the part of the
those who own the country I think they see where their self-interest line is
they see a certain amount of freedom seems good
an illusion have liberty give these people give these people are voting day
every year so that they'll have the illusion have meaningless choice
meaningless choice that we go like slaves and say Joe I voted the the
limits a debate in this country are
are are are established before the debate even begins and everyone else is
marginalized to me to see me there to be communists there was some sort of
disloyal person a kook there's a word
and now it's conspiracy say they've made at something that's that is that is a
should should not be even entertained for a minute that powerful people might
get together and have a plan
doesn't happen in your act cucchiara conspiracy buff
so who you're the only way you cure that death
bloodshed I don't advocated but I see that it's really the only
now to balance the scales like to talk about some things that bring us together
things that point out our similarities instead of our differences
because that's all you ever hear about this country's our differences that's
all the media
and the politicians are ever talking about the things that separate us
things that make us different from one another that's the way the ruling class
operates in any society
they try to divide the rest to the people to keep the lower in the middle
class is fighting with each other
so the day the rich can run off with all the fucking money
fairly simple thing happens to work
you know anything different after the gonna talk about race religion ethnic
and national background jobs income
education social status sexuality anything you can do
keep us fighting with each other so that they can keep going to the bank
you know I describe the economic and social class in this country
the upper class keeps all of the money page
none other taxes the middle class pays all the taxes
does all the work the pool or their just a scare the shit out of the middle class
showing up she rights
why everyone is country's always run around yeah man about their pocket right
I have a right you have no right we have a right then another right pokes
I to spoil your fun but there's no such thing is right okay
their imaginary we made a mop like the boogie man
clearer pics pinocchio mother go shit like that
rights are an idea they're just imagine they're they're cute idea
cute but that's all cute and fictional but if you think you do have rights
let me ask you this where they come from you say well they come from God their
god-given rights now fuck here we go again
now that God excuse the last refuge a man with no answers and no argument
it came from God any we can't describe must come from God
personally folks I believe that if your rights came from God
he would give you the right to some food every day and it would give you the
right to a roof over your head
God would have been looking out for you guy with
looking out for now
he would have been worried about making sure you have a gun to get drunk and
Sunday night
kill your girlfriend's parents well let's say sure let's say God gave us
these rights
why would he give us a certain number brights the bill a ride to this country
has 10 stipulations okay
10 rights and apparently got was doing sloppy work that week because
we've had to amend the bill of rights an additional 17 times
so God for got a couple of things like slavery
just fuckin slipped his mind
colette say let's say God gave us the original 10
you get the British 13 the British Bill of Rights has 13 stipulations
the Germans have 29 the Belgians have 25 the Swedish have only six
as some people in the world have no rights at all what kind about
ok and god damn god-given dealers act known rights at all
why would God give different people in different countries different numbers
are different
rights boredom amusement
bad arithmetic do we find out at long last after all this time that God is
weak and math skills
doesn't sound like divine planning to me
sounds more like human planning sounds more like one group trying to control
another group
in other words business as usual in america now
if you think you do have rights one last assignment for you
next time you're at the computer get on the internet go to Wikipedia
really get to Wikipedia in the search field for Wikipedia want to type in
japanese-americans 1942
you'll find out all about your precious pocket right okay
you know no
in 1942 there are a hundred and ten thousand
japanese-american citizens in good standing law-abiding people
who were thrown into internment camps simply because their parents were born
in the wrong country that's all they did wrong they had no right to a lawyer
no right to a fair trial no right to a jury of their peers
no right to due process have any kind the only right they had
right this way into the attorney cabs just when these american citizens needed
their rights the most
their government suck away rights are rights if someone can
taken away their privileges that's all we've ever had in this country is a bill
I've temporary privileges that if you read the news even badly
you know that every year the list get shorter and shorter and shorter
the CR
yeah super-low the people in this country gotta realize the government
does not give a fuck about them
government doesn't care about you or your children or your right to your
welfare your safety
it simply doesn't give a fuck about you its interest in its own power
that's the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible
the interesting thing about this country is if the week they they talk about how
we have
freedom a choice here with furniture yet very limited it's important thing
limited choice a two political parties essentially to
a big media companies 5 96 max
yep yep oil companies down to three now I think over of three or four
up banks big banks the big brokerage houses the big accounting firms
all the things that are important reduced in choice
newspapers in the city how many used to be 34 now it's one or two
told by the same people they also own radio station on the TV station but
jellybeans 32 flavors I still have things I don't I
the the on important things lot of choices yeah I say
your choice you know it you're free to choices in america paper plastic yes it
really comes down
plaster caster charred aisle or window
smoking or non-smoking yeah ok a Pepsi these are you dress up
everything else just kinda laid out for you you get to do what they really want
they do what they want the West one's country
they do it they were speaking about choices being usurped herb are taken
away from us what do you make
love whatever I'm facet ask you this because
all the things you've been talking about for years in
are it we've we've come full circle on this stuff national so fast they did
thank you for coming on programs
but yeah we are now you know thirty years after you were talking about in
with this huge debate issues fight about whether or not
our civil liberties are being taken away here's what what what what what you
thought on
well I think if you looked at the record I love
on laws which have been passed in the last 30 to 45 used there's a thing
called social hysteria and
social hysteria is whipped up generally by the media
a crime indexes time crime was the big
social hysteria issue with us too much crying as we would do to the coddling
the courts are coddling criminals who have tougher laws
so a lot of civil liberties one away in terms of I'm
the rights of criminals and the rights of the accused and and people
going on trial these these were lit limited they were cut down
these rights which are guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights
another social hysteria drugs the drug thing happened same thing
a big big flow drugs were gonna fight drugs we need nor tougher laws we need
to Connie incenses
we need to be able to go in the house has been able to do this we have
resembles
reissue all these all the shortcuts
have resulted in less liberties because of social story
the media if whips up frenzy people get all excited
the legislature passes it presents executive signs it
and the judges then to Judy your judicial branch okays it sometime later
when he gets to them
and and what has happened is you have less freedoms less liberties less
civil liberties less rights and the third socialist area is terrorism
that that was worked up now this is a little problems a little more cause
they're you look at the
911 so very dramatic event but that too has been used with two with this Patriot
Act
to reduce our liberties they say well the author if you got nothing to hide
what he worried about you know that I love you
yes tell me about the people that are you not just get not prison because the
DNA
this together had not behind but this is just listen that this country is
is owned by the ownership class they do pretty much what they want I think it's
like a freak show here's what I do
not I do to me if you're born in the world be a
you get a ticket to the Freak Show the gate to get to the free show
to born America got a front row seat so how people
some people are in a freak show yeah we gotta freaks
yet then some people they wanna fix the freaks
is the ACLU lawyers vargas was fixed for free to leave six months with ornette
herbalist who this
then there folks who just watched freak show here as me
I summer let's get to write about our talk about right and I do that I sure do
yeah as a look at you look up badly you're doing honey account myself in
here as you look up at me folks who do it how did you do this to yourself why
did you let them to the city
how does one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about
politicians and everybody complains about politicians ever I says they suck
well where do people think these politicians come from they don't fall
out of the sky
they don't pass to a membrane from another reality
they come from American parents in american families American homes
American schools American churches american businesses in American
universities
and their elected by american citizens this is the best we can
do faults this is what we have to offer
it's what our system produces garbage and
garbage out if you have selfish
figure citizens if you act selfish ignorant citizens you're going to get
selfish ignorant leaders
term limits a movie any good you just gonna wanna for the brand new bunch of
selfish
a great american so maybe maybe maybe it's not the politicians use of
maybe something else sucks around here like
the public yet the public's Sox
desert nice campaign slogan for somebody
the homicide foxholes fuckhole
because if it's really just the fault of these politicians then where are all the
other bright people of conscience
where are all the bright honest intelligent Americans ready to step in
and save the nation lead the way we don't have people like that this country
everybody's at the mall scratching his ass picking his nose taking his credit
card out of his fanny pack and find a Paris sneakers when lights in them
so I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way
on election day I stayed home
I don't vote Fox thought I don't vote
two reasons for reasons I don't vote for small smeeting less
the structure was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago the ship a
shuffle around every four years
fun it's actually I don't vote because I believe if you vote
you have no right to complain people like to twist that around I know they
say
they say that out if you don't forget go out to play where is the logic in that
if you vote annual act dishonest incompetent people they get into office
in school everything up
what you are responsible for what they have done you cause the problem you
voted did you have no right to complain
I on the other hand
who did not call go
for you in fact did not even leave the house on election day
in no way responsible for these people have done it have every right to
complain as loud as I want but the mess you created that I had nothing to do
with
so I know that a little later on this year you're going to have another
weather is really swell presidential elections that you like so much
you enjoy yourselves it'll be a lot of fun sure as soon as the election is over
your country will approve immediately
as for me I'll be home on that day doing essentially the same thing as you
the only difference is when I could finish masturbating
I'm going to have a little something to show for Clark's
yeah it's all bullshit folks is bad for your
it's all bullshit that suggest remembers you go to life in this country it's all
bullshit
and it's bad for your now
speaking to parents is picking a bullshit
to ideas which are always mutually exclusive by the way
I'd like to mention a special kinda bullshit that has taken hold in this
country
in the last thirty to forty years it's a former bullshit
that really only can be called child worship
its child worship it's this excessive
devotion to children i'm talking about today's professional parents
these these are obsessive diapers sniffers
who are over scheduling and over managing their children and robbing them
of their childhoods
even a simple act of players
even as simple act of playing in
has been taken away from children and put on miami schedule
in the form of playdates something that should be spontaneous and free
is now being rigidly planned when is a kid ever get to sit the yard with a
stick anymore
you know just sit there with a fuckin stay
to today's kids even know what a stick is
no but to no such if it should be wasting his time on a stick anyway
if he's four years older should be home studying for his kindergarten
entrance exams you know but that shit on a happy now i am. there are places that
have
kindergarten entrance exams the poor little fuck
the poor little fucky can barely locate his dick
the
you know and and all already he's being pressured to succeed
pressured to succeed for the sake love the parents
is it is really just a sophisticated form of child abuse
it's taken aback speaker child abuse
speaking a child abuse next top grade school
grade school he won't be allowed to play tag because it encourages victimization
and he won't be allowed to play dodgeball because it's exclusionary
and it promotes aggression standing around is still OK
standing around is still permitted but they won't be for long
because sooner or later some guys gonna be standing around and his foot or fall
asleep and his parents will sue the school and it'll be good by fuckin
standing around
on my last question a
choices that it is seems to me you're kinda icon for someone who
key n CE the some
bad things going on and but not let it sort of
harden your heart not let it get into you
and screw up your either
mental state or your emotional state hey
do you have any advice for people on how you can
still stay engaged in the world and not just go insane with anger and resentment
become a spectator that's what I am I
I have found that over the last twenty to thirty years
somewhere in that span between 20 and 30 years ago
I began to pull away from having a stake
in any of this I don't really have an emotional stake in the outcome
anymore in terms of my scary
I don't really give a fuck when you get right down to it
I don't care what happens to my a my species
because I think this species has squandered great gift
namely and especially a gift to this
mind we have to break in France les mines
which is able to a distinguish between subject and object
as a starter an able to do a lot of abstract things
that the should have let us better places
and the opposable common walking erect the whole package
we should certainly have done it better friend to embrace superstitious
religious belief that
rules some leads us and
the pursuit of goods and present profits
and territory and our that's what we turn into
I and I think the same is true love this culture I have also found myself pulling
away
from this culture and not caring about the outcome
because I I think the same thing is true
this culture the country the American the country was given great
yep is developed great gift on its own at the beginning
and I think we squandered these these ideals
these noble purposes and ideals that we began with
and we went off the tracks on
because of for Prosperity primarily
we were always infected with the religious thing that was always there
underneath everything
but for for Prosperity lead to greed
and possessiveness and water heater on things and have them for their own sake
and now the american people politically have been or of
have been completely silenced and bought off by gizmos and toys
and that's a line from the current role and
it's just a shame so so I pulled away emotionally and I said you know what
fuck 'em
let them do what they want to do I'm going to enjoy the shit as a spectator
and I look at it as a show it's a big circus it's a big
it's a big parade whenever you want ever I'm metaphor you want to use
I think about is the Freak Show I I like to say this when you're born in this
world you given a ticket to the Freak Show
were you born in America you're given a front row seat
and manana says man I have my notebook out
and I'm enjoying the show and i wish i could live a thousand years
to watch this all develop a rise in russia the rise in China
modernization from %uh Europe decried
up the white raised its gonna be an amazing story
as it develops and and I just wish I could see it all
7 me now are probably lived between 90 and 100 I think
and I don't get to see some other but term but it is an interesting exciting
thing to watch if you can detach yourself from Marshall Lee
and that's the end of that that's the best way to
swallow all that stuff and believe it and still walk down the street
saying in a happy that's right have reached his hand
there's no anger and then say there's no ideas nor motion States but it didn't
happen and one of the reasons one of the reasons is because we were using that's
soft language
that language to takes the life out alive and it is a function of time
it does keep getting worse get another example sometime during my life
sometime during my lifetime that paper became bathroom tissue
I wasn't notified of this
no one asked me if I agree with this
it just happened told the paper became bathroom tissue
sneakers became running shoes false teeth became
dental appliances medicine became medication
information became directory assistance
don't became the landfill car crashes became automobile accidents
partly cloudy became partly sunny and
motels became Motor Lodge jus
house trailers became all homes
used cars became previously-owned transportation
room service became guest room dining
and constipation became occasional irregularity
do when I was a little kid if I got sick they want to go to the hospital and see
the doctor
now they want me to go to a health maintenance organization
or a Wellness Center to consult a healthcare delivery professional
poor people used to live in slums now the economically disadvantaged occupy
sub-standard housing in the inner cities
and airflow step bro
they don't have a negative cash flow position
de Fontainebleau
cause a lot of them were fired you know fired management wanted to curtail
redundancies in human resources area
so many people are no longer viable members of the workforce
smog greedy well-fed
white people have invented a language to conceal lessons it's as simple as that
the CIA doesn't kill anybody anymore they neutralize people
what they deep populate the area the government doesn't lie
engages in disinformation the pentagon
actually measures nuclear radiation and something they call
sunshine units israeli murder is a call commandos
Arab commandos call terrorists contract killers are called freedom fighters
well if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire
what to freedom fighters fight
they never mention that part of it to us good never mentioned the
and some other stuff is just silly we know we all know that like on the
airlines they say they want a pre Boyd
what the hell is pretty boy what does that mean to get on before you get on
they say they're going to pre board those passengers
in need of special assistance crap calls
several on this direct language
there's no shame attached to the word cripple that I can find in any
dictionary
no shame attached to it in fact it's a word used in Bible translations jesus
healed the cripples
doesn't take seven words to describe the condition we don't have any cripples in
this country anymore
we have the physically challenged
is that a grotesque enough the vision for you
how about differently able I've heard them call that differently
a moment you can even call these people handicapped anymore they'll say we're
not handicapped
where handy capable all
these poor people have been punctuated by the system into believing that if you
change the name on the condition somehow you change the condition
fly a kite doesn't care
we have no more deaf people in this country hearing-impaired
no its blind anymore partially sighted or visually impaired
we have no more still the people everybody has a learning disorder
or he's minimally exception all
how it's like to be told that about your child he's minimally exceptional all
thank God for that
psychologist actually have started calling
ugly people those with severe a parent's deficits
it's getting so bad that any day now I expect to hear a rape victim referred to
as unwilling sperm recipients
the
and we have no more old people in this country no more old people we ship them
all away
and we brought in these senior citizens
isn't that typically American 20th century phrase
bloodless lifeless no pulse and one of them
a senior citizen but I've accepted that would have come to terms with that I
know it's here to stay
will never get rid of it that's what they're gonna be called so I'll relax on
that but the 1i do resist
wanna keep resisting is when they look at an old guy innocent looking to end
he's ninety years young could imagine the fear the aging that reveals
tonight even be able to use the word all to describe someone to have to use the
antonym
and fear the aging is natural it's universal is it we all have that no one
wants to get old
no one wants to die but we do so we push it ourselves
I started bullshit myself I got to my forties
soon as I was in my forties I'd look in the mirror and i'd say well a
I guess I'm getting older
order sounds a little better than all doesn't it sounds like it might even
last a little longer
close yet I'm getting old
and it's okay because thanks to our fear of death in this country
I won't have to die I'll pass away
the
faronics fire like a magazine subscription
what happens in the hospital help cover the terminal episode
the insurance company will refer to it as negative patient care outcome
at its resultant malpractice they'll say it was a therapeutic misadventure
have challenges summer this language makes me wanna vomit
well maybe not vomit makes me want to engage in an involuntary personal
protein spill
the you got people like this around you
countries for them now people walking around all day long every minute today
worry about every day what about the airport about the water what about the
soil
what about insecticides pesticides food additives carcinogens
word about radon gas word about this past is word about saving endangered
species
let me tell you about endangered species I saving endangered species is just one
more arrogant attempt by humans
to control nature its arrogant meddling it's what got us in trouble in the first
place
does anybody understand that interfering with nature
over ninety percent over way over ninety percent of all the species
that after live on this planet ever lived
icon week texting it
we didn't kill them all they just
disappeared that's what nature does
they disappear these days at the rate a 25 a day
and I mean regardless of our our behavior irrespective of how we act on
this planet 25 species that were here today
will be gone tomorrow let them go gracefully
leave nature on Mon haven't we done
end of was so self-important so self-important never was gonna save some
now
save the tree CDB save the whales
see those nails and the greatest arrogance evolve save the planet
one these fucking people kidding me save the planet we're gonna have to take care
of ourselves yet
we haven't learned how to care for one another we're gonna save %uh Falken
planet gets
few
fuckin Earth Day
I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists
these white Boosh while liberals who think the only thing wrong with this
country is there are enough bicycle paths
people trying to make the world safe for their Volvo's
the sides environmentalist don't give a shit about the planet they don't care
about the planet not in the abstract they don't not in the abstract they
don't know what they're interested in
a clean place to live their own habitat
the word that some day in the future they might be personally inconvenienced
narrow unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me b-sides there is
nothing wrong with the planet
nothing wrong with the planet the planet is fine that people of Oct grants
de France finish by compared to the people
the planet is doing great been here for a half billion years
everything about the arithmetic planet has been here four and a half billion
years
we've been here what a hundred thousand maybe two hundred thousand
and we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred
years
two hundred years versus four and a half billion and we have the conceit
to think that somehow we're a threat that somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy
this beautiful little blue green ball it's just a floating around the Sun
the plan has been through a lot worse than us
into all kinds of things worse than us then to earthquakes volcanoes
plate tectonics continental drift solar flares sunspots magnetic storms the
magnetic reversal at the polls
hundreds of thousands of years apart apartments by comets and asteroids and
meteors
worldwide floods title which were white fires corrosion cosmic rays recurring
ice ages
and we think some plastic bags the
summoned hands aren't going to make a difference
find K the planet
isn't going anywhere we r
were gone away pack your shit folks
going away I would leave much for Tracy there thank God for that
Nadal styrofoam maybe those styrofoam
plan to be here will be long gone just another failed mutation
just another closed and biological mistake an evolutionary cul-de-sac
the plan to shake us of like a bad case of leaves
ice surface nuisance
and wanna have a plan it's doing
ask those people at Pompeii were frozen into position
from thought you had a gash how the planets
do in one of the planet's alright ask people in Mexico City or media or a
hundred other places
buried under a thousand tons worth quick rebel if they feel
like a thread to the planet this week
about those people a killer whale why rebuild their homes right next to an
active volcano
and then wonder why they have lover in the living room plan that will be here
for a long long long time after we're gone
and it will heal itself it will cleanse itself because that's what it does
it's a self-correcting system the air in the water will recover
the earth will be renewed and if it's true the plastic is not degradable
well the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm
the earth plus plastic baker's dozen share our prejudice towards
plastic plastic came out of the earth the earth probably sees plastic is just
another one of its children
could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the
first place
wanted plastic for itself didn't know how to make it
nice could be the answer to our
age-old philosophical question why are we here
last day fashion
the
Paarl they'd all rights to get all but they've led to be 150 George Carlin
the great George crime just turned seven day and to celebrate his fifty years in
show business has just released to DVD collection i'm always comedy specials
and it's called George Carlin all my stuff please welcome comedy legend
george carlin
yeah
%uh yeah I have a falsetto nah I wanna see some nice height mm always
I think I will have a total lol yeah
the fall so it's alright George before we talk about how old you are getting
yeah does it feel to be 70 in the business as a film the different no
really does it dunno now you know the time has passed and I'm
you know you're getting better what you do response to be the douche better get
better at every stop doing it myself
and so you know George Burns said he said there are five stages
I love life childhood
adulthood middle-age all day page and
you look great but house right now
the people that I did they say hey you look great you know he said okay just so
funny i mean funny never goes away and let's get a dementia sup alright
yeah
nothing is a it it's not just the funny but the ideas get richer
the writing II I found out some I one point I ice always was a beginning
comical first twenty years probably I refer to myself as a comedian who wrote
his own material because I was proud that lucky is 10
commuter are some material that one day I sorta realized
after-the-fact a few years that I become a writer who performed his own material
and that really made a difference in my mind in my heart that I have that yeah
I just matured the into that I I had the skills to be a writer all along
apparently
and I was using them effectively but a little more for frivolous way at first
and later the experience kyushu experience is very cute and
good thing because it gives you something richer against which to
compare what you see
when you're 20 and you see XY and z. if ounces of very thin wall
if you're sixty and you see the same thing work it's a known to cause
great and it's a richer output so that's what I i gained
just from getting older it as you think you know you look at comedy now do you
think man
you could if you start now today would there be a place for you
you know someone I had that question recently slight slightly different so
idea and I thought to you know if I were starting so there are 20
I wouldn't even know if I'd be the same person at twenty
that and that I was and now with all the things that would have happened between
let's say five and twenty
the technology the demands and the and the way
the parents of my mother would never would have been one of these
professional parents
but I would've been a different person and it would've been harder to start
because I I did my career on my own terms
and I don't know how many people get to do that anymore yeah I think they're too
many expectations are too many pathways in rules
and true revels don't see more to be around very much what was it about
twenty around them
watch I would say don't do what you love do well and if people pat on the back
for you got it that the secret to happiness is
finally some real love and doing it well and then being recognized for it someone
even if it's one person who says you're doing a great job of its applause
but those three things together and your eye when I
first one when I first change but kinda stuff I was doing in the late sixties I
had been a suit and tie comic out the fifties
and I had short hair and all our and I realize I was doing the wrong thing for
the wrong people
and I let myself change into a more of freer more votes if you will use the
word hippie
look and attitude and I realize that
I'm I said to my wife at that time when I change say so you know even if I only
felt coffeehouses
three days a week for the rest of my life I'd be happy doing that
and when you let go of goals and stuff I i mean
at the attachment two goals that's when things come to you you should have an
Aimpoint
but not thing like that you well I want to ask you george because you have it is
to celebrate the fifty years in show business I love your HBO special site
now and a collection called all my stuff and I have it as a stand-up comic and
I'm just so excited I have my favorite routines that you do
what what is what are some the most memorable routines in here
well the time I was a year or two later the look back and I had that realization
that I'm we have really become a writer
1992 show called jammin in New York and which was in Madison Square Garden
Theatre their 6500 people it was live it was the first one they did live on HBO
was my hometown the place was fall and it was electric
and I had essays for the first time I was doing essays rather than bids
these were developed ideas that had a little bit officers overtime to them
but were relieved with laughter and ironII all along
and after that start to sink in I look back I thought I would see that was a
kind of a pivotal point
so miss a thing in their call me the plan is fine it sits in a jam in New
York
the plan is fine the people are
does everyone is running around trying to save the planet the planet doesn't
need that the planet will take care of itself
people are selfish and that's what they're doing is trying to save the
planet for themselves to have a nice a place to live
they don't care about the planet in in theory
they just care about having a comfortable place and these people with
the fires
and the floods in re: they overbilled they put nature to the tests and they
get what's coming to him that's what I say wow that's what harsh that's what's
happened you and I can't wait to the sea levels to rise
I can't wait for summer during the summer the city's to do not care whale
you
prices are ever going to map is gonna change and then just because
the real make people think nature's outsider them they don't take
into them the idea that we are part of that they say all we're going for a
nature walk
we're going to the country because we like nature nature's in here
and if you're into with the like the union's the hopis especially
the balance of life the balance the harmony of nature if you understand that
you know overbilled
you don't do all those morons that there are too many people Calligaris let's go
after that
over sure you know what does it say it's a symphony everybody's in the bay and
you know it's not just one is not just one group people are people
want their goodies they want their toys everybody wants the new is gizmo
weird were slaves to gizmos and toys Pigott today
yeah
yeah I want to sell for me to make pancakes and that they felt like doesn't
happen what we watched s
it make you there are things I wanna let you guys know you are all messed up
we have quieted the crowd we are messed up fuel
I in New York City fair that you're in will be fighting DVD that borders on
wall street from noon to 2 p.m. you gotta be there
and we're gonna be right back with James Lipton I