[SHIROE, VOICE‐OVER] NON‐PLAYER CHARACTERS ARE PEOPLE IN THE GAME THAT AREN'T PLAYERS.
THEIR DIALOGUE IS SET BY THE PROGRAMMERS,
AND THEY DON'T HAVE DISTINCT PERSONALITIES.
THEY'RE PRETTY MUCH THERE TO FULFILL ROLES AT CERTAIN POINTS IN THE GAME.
IN "ELDER TALES," PLAYERS ARE CALLED ADVENTURERS,
AND NON‐PLAYERS ARE CALLED PEOPLE OF THE LAND.
HOWEVER, THE APOCALYPSE MAY HAVE CHANGED THAT.
[MARIELLE] SERARA?
YOU'RE OK, RIGHT?
I‐I'M, LIKE, SO GLAD YOU MADE IT BACK FROM SUSUKINO, SWEETIE!
[SERARA] YES. I'M SORRY I WORRIED YOU.
GOOD‐BYE.
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I'M REALLY SAFE NOW, RIGHT?
[SHIROE] YEAH. WE'RE PAST THE LYPORT CHANNEL NOW.
[NYAN‐TA] AND BRIGANDIA DOESN'T HAVE ANY GRIFFINS.
THEY'RE WEEKS BEHIND US, SO DON'T EVEN WORRY.
IT'S ALL GOOD.
UH...
[SERARA] NOW THAT I'M SAFE, I JUST FEEL KIND OF...
THANK YOU, EVERYONE!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
(STOMACH GROWLS) UH!
UH‐OH. LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S TUM‐TUM ISN'T TOO HAPPY.
[AKATSUKI] DO YOU EVER SHUT UP?!
[NAOTSUGU] HEY, I FART, TOO.
(LAUGHTER)
[NAOTSUGU] OH, MAN.
YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER PITCHED A TENT BEFORE.
[SHIROE] WELL, START BY LAYING OUT THE GROUND SHEETS.
UH, I DON'T REMEMBER YOU SAYING YOU EVER ROUGHED IT BACK HOME.
THAT'S TRUE, BUT I READ A BOOK ABOUT IT ONCE.
OF COURSE, I'M BETTING IT PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE
THIS EASY FOR ME IN THE REAL WORLD.
YEAH, I GUESS THAT'S TRUE ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS AROUND HERE.
[NAOTSUGU] IT'S PRETTY CRAZY.
(RUSTLING)
(GASPS)
[SERARA] WILD DEER?
SO THERE ARE ANIMALS IN THIS GAME THAT AREN'T MONSTERS.
[NYAN‐TA] WELL, NOW.
THIS IS WHAT I CALL A TIME TO SHINE.
(DING)
[SERARA] AH!
[NAOTSUGU] THERE WE GO.
WE'VE GOT A PLACE TO SLEEP.
[SHIROE] IT'S KIND OF SATISFYING, COMPARED TO JUST HAVING TO LOG OUT AND GO TO BED.
[NAOTSUGU] SINCE WE'RE OUT IN THE BUSH, WE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE FUN DOING IT THE HARD WAY.
[SHIROE] THAT'S RIGHT.
[SHIROE] BUT OUR FOOD ISN'T EXACTLY...
[NAOTSUGU] IT LOOKS SO GOOD, SHIROE,
BUT IT STILL TASTES LIKE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE!
[AKATSUKI] SERARA AND NYAN‐TA ARE RUNNING LATE.
(NAOTSUGU SNIFFS)
DO YOU SMELL THAT?!
[SHIROE] WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?
(NAOTSUGU AND AKATSUKI SNIFF)
WHAT?
IT SMELLS LIKE MEAT ROASTING.
(SIZZLING)
[NYAN‐TA] HMM, DID THE SMELL OF THIS FINE CUISINE ROUSE YOU FROM YOUR BASE CAMP?
[SERARA] HEY!
[NAOTSUGU] TELL YOU WHAT,
I'M WILLING TO GIVE TASTELESS MEAT A TRY IF IT SMELLS THIS GOOD.
(TRIUMPHANT BELLS)
YEAH!
(MOUTH FULL) THIS IS... I CAN'T DESCRIBE IT!
[SHIROE] (MOUTH FULL) THE TEXTURE WHEN YOU BITE INTO IT...
THE DELICIOUS JUICES!
[NAOTSUGU] THE SWEETNESS OF THE FAT... AWESOME!
(MOUTH FULL) JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SALT,
AND HE OBVIOUSLY USED ROSEMARY IN IT, TOO!
IT'S, WITHOUT A DOUBT...
[ALL] REAL FREAKING FOOD!
[NYAN‐TA] OH, YEAH.
AWESOME! I LOVE YOU! MORE, PLEASE!
[NYAN‐TA] NOW, NOW.
[SHIROE, AKATSUKI, AND NAOTSUGU] PLEASE, PLEASE!
[NYAN‐TA] PLENTY TO GO AROUND.
SO, HOW THE HECK DID YOU DO IT ANYWAY?
(SERARA GIGGLES)
WELL, AS YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN PICK THE ITEM YOU WANT FROM OFF THE MENU.
YOU DIG?
AND IT WILL MAKE YOU FOOD ITEMS
THAT LOOK JUST LIKE THE REAL THING.
[SHIROE] RIGHT. THAT'S JUST LIKE THE GAME.
[NAOTSUGU] YEAH, BUT YOUR FOOD HAS FLAVOR.
[NYAN‐TA] AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING OF THIS AS A GAME.
AFTER ALL, FRUITS AND VEGETABLES STILL HAVE THEIR FLAVOR, RIGHT?
[NAOTSUGU] HUH. YEAH, I GUESS SO.
WELL, THEN.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS THE SAME THING I DID:
JUST DON'T USE THE INTERFACE.
FORGET ABOUT TAPPING YOUR FINGERS IN THE AIR
AND USE YOUR OWN HANDS TO COOK YOUR DINNER.
IT'S THAT EASY, BABY.
I KNOW. I TRIED TO DO THAT, TOO, CHIEF.
CHECK IT OUT.
[NAOTSUGU] BLAM‐O!
PURPLE PUKE STICK!
[SHIROE] BOILING IT TURNS IT INTO A WEIRD PASTE OF SOME KIND.
NO MATTER WHAT WE DO, IT ALL TURNS OUT LIKE THIS.
I MEAN, WE JUST FIGURED THAT THIS WAS THE WAY IT WAS GONNA BE HERE.
[NYAN‐TA] WELL, IT SOUNDS TO ME AS IF THE PERSON WHO WAS PREPARING YOUR FOOD
DIDN'T HAVE A SUBCLASS OF CHEF OR OTHER SIMILAR COOKING SKILL.
[NAOTSUGU] OK. SO YOU'RE...
THAT'S RIGHT, HOLMES.
I HAVE MASTERED THE GENTLEMANLY ART OF BEING A CHEF.
[NAOTSUGU] WHOA. [SHIROE] MAKES SENSE.
SO SOMEONE HAS TO HAVE THE SKILL AHEAD OF TIME
TO MAKE A DECENT MEAL FOR HIMSELF.
[SHIROE, THINKING] HE'S GOT A POINT.
I'M REALLY STILL STUCK IN THAT GAMER MENTALITY,
WHICH MEANS...
(NAOTSUGU CHEWS LOUDLY)
[AKATSUKI] MASTER NYAN‐TA? [NAOTSUGU] "MASTER"? REALLY?
[AKATSUKI] ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF PROPERLY.
MY NAME IS AKATSUKI.
MY CLASS IS ASSASSIN, AND I'M AT LEVEL 90.
[NYAN‐TA] AND YOU DID SOME FINE WORK BACK THERE, YOUNG LADY.
[AKATSUKI] IT WAS NOTHING. THE WAY YOU FOUGHT WAS MASTERFUL.
[NAOTSUGU] WELL, HOLD UP. I HAD A PRETTY GOOD FIGHT MYSELF.
YOU ARE A WORTHLESS TURD.
[NAOTSUGU] WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
[AKATSUKI] WHATEVER, TURD. [NAOTSUGU] YOU'RE A TURD.
(SHIROE AND NYAN‐TA CHUCKLE)
[NYAN‐TA] I SEE YOU HAVE SOME GOOD COMPANIONS...
YOU, TOO, LITTLE ONE.
HUH! RIGHT!
I GUESS I SHOULD INTRODUCE MYSELF PROPERLY.
I'M SERARA WITH THE CRESCENT MOON ALLIANCE GUILD.
I'M A LEVEL 19 DRUID, AND MY SUBCLASS IS MAID,
AND I... AND I GUESS THAT'S ALL.
BUT, UH, I...
[SERARA] I'M SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE I CAUSED WITH
MY POOR HEALING SKILLS BACK IN SUSUKINO.
[NAOTSUGU] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, OK?
[SHIROE] HMM.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS,
AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, SHIROE.
HUH?
[SERARA] IT REALLY MEANS SO MUCH TO ME, I CAN'T TELL YOU!
[SHIROE] UH, NO.
I REALLY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THAT WAS ALL THAT SPECIAL, ALL RIGHT?
HUH?
MY BOY'S ALWAYS BEEN THE KIND OF FELLA WHO'S EASY TO EMBARRASS.
I BET I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU.
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN TOLD YOU'RE THE THIRD‐CUTEST IN YOUR CLASS,
AND YOU PROBABLY GOT MORE SECRET LOVE LETTERS THAN ANYONE ELSE.
[SERARA] UH, YEAH.
(NAOTSUGU WAILS)
[AKATSUKI] MY LORD, I HAVE JUST GIVEN NAOTSUGU A BLOODY NOSE.
[NAOTSUGU] I HAVE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR LITTLE, PAINFUL PROGRESS REPORTS!
[AKATSUKI] I'VE ALSO DECIDED TO EAT HIS DINNER.
AAH!
(CRACKLING)
(NAOTSUGU GROANS)
I CAN'T MOVE!
[AKATSUKI] YOU ATE TOO MUCH, YOU DUMMY.
[SERARA] NYAN‐TA, I GUESS YOU AND MR. SHIROE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER
FOR A REALLY LONG TIME, HUH?
[NYAN‐TA] DON'T FORGET ABOUT NAOTSUGUCCHI.
BACK WHEN WE WERE PLAYING THIS AS A GAME,
WE ALL JUST HAPPENED TO BE IN THE SAME LOOSE‐KNIT GROUP OF PLAYERS.
YOU MIGHT'VE EVEN HEARD OF US...
WE WERE THE DEBAUCHERY TEA PARTY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'VE HEARD STORIES ABOUT A LEGENDARY GROUP THAT COMPLETED A LOT OF DIFFICULT QUESTS
WHEN THE ADMINS ADDED THEM TO THE GAME.
[AKATSUKI] THAT WAS MY LORD AND MASTER NYAN‐TA?
HEY, DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!
[SERARA] WOW. SO THAT MEANS ALL OF YOU WERE IN THE SAME GUILD TOGETHER ONCE.
[NAOTSUGU] NAH, IT WASN'T A GUILD... MORE LIKE A HANGOUT.
[SERARA] OH.
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US WAS IN A DIFFERENT GUILD AT THE TIME.
AND WE WEREN'T ALL THAT ORGANIZED,
BUT WE DID HAVE SOME GOOD ADVENTURES TOGETHER, YOU KNOW?
[NYAN‐TA] I SUPPOSE THAT'S WHAT MADE US STRONG.
[NAOTSUGU] HMM.
[AKATSUKI, THINKING] THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.
I GUESS I DON'T HAVE TO ASK WHY MY LORD AND HIS FRIENDS CAN SUMMON GRIFFINS.
THAT'S A HIGH‐LEVEL QUEST,
AND THAT'S HOW THEY WORK SO WELL TOGETHER.
(AKATSUKI WINCES)
I FOUGHT BY MY LORD'S SIDE ON SEVERAL DIFFERENT OCCASIONS NOW.
I'M NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WORKING IN TANDEM WITH HIM LIKE THAT.
I HAVE TO PRACTICE MORE.
[SHIROE] AKATSUKI? [NAOTSUGU] TUMMY ACHE?
[AKATSUKI] SHUT. UP.
NOW, THEN, IT'S OBVIOUS YOU JUST LIED TO ME.
[NAOTSUGU] HUH?
THERE'S NO WAY THE DEBAUCHERY TEA PARTY
COULD'VE HAD SOMEONE LIKE NAOTSUGU IN IT.
I WAS THERE!
(CRACKLING)
[NYAN‐TA] WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE,
WE'D GONE ON QUITE A FEW QUESTS
AND SEEN QUITE A FEW PLACES, HMM?
[NAOTSUGU] MADE FRIENDS, DID QUESTS...
IT WAS A BLAST, DUDE.
RIGHT.
(GRIFFINS SCREECH)
[NYAN‐TA] MMM.
[SERARA, THINKING] NYAN‐TA IS SO AWESOME!
HE'S HANDSOME, YOUNG, KIND, AND ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP.
NO, I THINK HE'S OLDER.
A HANDSOME MIDDLE‐AGED MAN? BUT HE'S SO IN SHAPE.
SERIOUSLY, I WONDER HOW HE DOES IT.
NEXT TO HIM, I LOOK KIND OF FAT.
OK, MAYBE I'M A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT...
[SERARA] OH, NYAN‐TA, YOU'RE JUST SO PERFECT...
[NAOTSUGU] SO OBVIOUS.
SO THE LITTLE GINGER'S INTO OLDER CAT DUDES.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
I GUESS NYAN‐TA'S GOT IT GOING ON.
(SHIROE CHUCKLES)
SERARA HAS GOOD TASTE.
[BOTH] HUH?!
[SHIROE] YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT A THING FOR CAT GUYS, TOO?!
[NYAN‐TA] MEOW? [AKATSUKI] THE MASTER IS A FIRST‐CLASS SWORDSMAN.
[SHIROE, THINKING] OK. SWORDSMAN. HMM.
I WONDER IF THE CHIEF'S OK WITH ALL THEIR GIRLIE STUFF.
[AKATSUKI] UM, MY LORD?
[SHIROE] HMM?
YOU MAY NOT BE ADEPT WITH A SWORD OR ANYTHING,
BUT YOU DO HAVE OTHER APPRECIABLE TALENTS.
UH, OH, YEAH?
YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU HURT MY FEELINGS OR SOMETHING, DID YOU?
UH... UH...
OF COURSE NOT.
[SHIROE] HMM?
[NAOTSUGU] WHEN YOU SEE HER LIKE THIS, SHE REALLY DOES LOOK KIND OF YOUNG.
[SHIROE] HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SHE REALLY IS?
[NAOTSUGU] WHO KNOWS? I MEAN, WE ALL LOOK LIKE OUR GAME AVATARS HERE.
JUST BASED ON HER LOOKS, I'D SAY THAT SHE WAS IN ELEMENTARY‐
OHH! GOD!
[SHIROE] MIDDLE SCHOOLER, MAYBE?
I WONDER.
I GUESS SHE'D BE THE SAME AGE AS THE TWINS.
[NAOTSUGU] WHAT TWINS?
[SHIROE] I RAN INTO THEM WHEN THIS WAS STILL JUST A GAME.
THE GIRL WAS A SHRINE MAIDEN, AND HER TWIN BROTHER WAS A SAMURAI.
[BOY] MISTER? MISTER! HEY, STOP!
[GIRL] UM, CAN WE ASK YOU SOMETHING?
[BOY] A QUESTION!
[GIRL] MY BROTHER WAS JUST IN A REALLY BIG FIGHT
AND I'M TRYING TO HEAL HIS WOUNDS,
BUT MY MAGIC IS TOO WEAK.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN BUY ALL THE MAGIC‐Y STUFF?
[BOY] I NEED SKILLS, TOO, DUDE. CAN YOU TELL US WHERE TO GET 'EM?
[SHIROE] SO I'M GUESSING THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME TO PLAY, HUH?
[GIRL] YEAH. [BOY] THAT'S RIGHT.
[NAOTSUGU] REALLY? HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT NICE?
[SHIROE] I USUALLY DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE RUN UP ON ME FOR ADVICE LIKE THAT.
[NYAN‐TA] TRUE.
[SHIROE] IT WAS THEIR FIRST DAY PLAYING, YOU KNOW,
AND IT SEEMED LIKE THEY WERE ADVENTURING JUST FOR THE SAKE OF ADVENTURE.
I EVEN TOOK SOME TIME OFF FROM MY QUEST TO SHOW THEM AROUND.
THE TEACHER SYSTEM REALLY HELPED A LOT.
[AKATSUKI] "TEACHER SYSTEM"?
[SHIROE] A SYSTEM THAT ALLOWS HIGH‐LEVEL PLAYERS TO DECREASE THEIR ABILITY
SO THAT THEY CAN PLAY WITH THE LOWER‐LEVEL CHARACTERS.
[NAOTSUGU] YEAH, BUT HARDLY ANYONE USED IT.
IT WAS TOO RISKY.
YEAH, WELL, THAT WAS THE IDEA BEHIND IT, THOUGH.
YOU COULD REENACT HOW YOU PLAYED AT THE BEGINNING.
SO THE PEOPLE YOU WERE TEACHING WOULD EARN THEIR POWER‐UPS.
HMM.
YEAH, MAKES SENSE.
[NYAN‐TA] THAT'S A PRETTY BRILLIANT DEDUCTION, MISS AKATSUKI.
[NAOTSUGU] OK, SO WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
[SHIROE] THEY'RE STILL ON MY FRIENDS LIST.
THE SISTER IS MINORI, AND HER YOUNGER BROTHER IS TOYA.
I SAW THEM SHORTLY AFTER THE APOCALYPSE CAME TO PASS.
PRETTY ROUGH FOR A COUPLE OF KIDS.
[SHIROE] BUT THEN I WOUND UP BACK IN AKIHABARA.
EVERYTHING HAD BECOME SUCH A MESS.
WE GOT SEPARATED FROM EACH OTHER.
[AKATSUKI] I WAS ALSO TELEPORTED INTO AN ABANDONED BUILDING.
(WAVES CRASHING)
[NAOTSUGU] MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE TRIED GETTING AHOLD OF THEM.
YOU KNOW, JUST TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE SAFE...
[SHIROE] YEAH...
[NYAN‐TA] WELL, I'M SURE HE HAD HIS REASONS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
[SHIROE] WE WERE GETTING READY TO HEAD OUT HERE.
IT'S NOT LIKE I HAD THE TIME TO FIND OUT.
LAST TIME I SAW THEM, THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY JOINED A GUILD.
[NAOTSUGU] IS THAT RIGHT?
[SHIROE] THEY WERE LEVEL 8 WHEN WE LEFT,
BUT THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A LITTLE HIGHER NOW.
EVERYTHING SHOULD BE OK IF THEY HOOKED UP WITH A GUILD.
THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE GOT TO KNOW.
[SHIROE] HMM? [NAOTSUGU] THAT MINORI...
WAS SHE A HOTTIE?
LIKE I WOULD KNOW.
ALL I COULD SEE IN THE GAME WAS HER AVATAR,
AND HER VOICE WASN'T ANYTHING SPECIAL.
OH, COME ON. YOU COULD TELL A LOT FROM A CHICK'S VOICE IF YOU LISTEN.
[AKATSUKI] YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
[NAOTSUGU] EXCUSE ME, I WAS TALKING TO SHIROE!
(SHIROE LAUGHS) [AKATSUKI] SHUT UP. YOU'RE MAKING MY TEA TASTE BAD.
[NAOTSUGU] LOOK, DUDES LIKE CHICKS! IT'S SCIENCE!
[NAOTSUGU] HEY, SHIROE. THE CLOUDS ARE CLOSING IN ON US.
[NYAN‐TA] I'M WITH NAUTSUGUCCHI ON THIS ONE.
WE NEED TO GET ON THE GROUND AND UNDER SOME SHELTER.
THIS CAT AIN'T A FAN OF THE RAIN.
[NAOTSUGU] RIGHT.
IF I REMEMBER, THIS ZONE HAS A VILLAGE JUST PAST THOSE WOODS.
(THUNDER)
(MOO)
[NAOTSUGU] WHERE ARE WE?
[AKATSUKI] THE SOUTH END OF THE ARB HIGHLANDS.
(MOO)
SHIROECHI?
YES?
SO HAVE YOU BEEN ALONE SINCE OUR LAST EXPEDITION?
HUH?
WITHOUT JOINING A GUILD, I MEAN.
UM, WELL, CHIEF,
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GUILD YOU WERE JOINING?
[SHIROE] UM, YOU KNOW, THE CAT FOOD GUILD?
[SERARA] THE CAT FOOD GUILD? WHAT'S THAT?
[NYAN‐TA] A PROUD ORGANIZATION COMPRISED SOLELY OF PLAYERS
WHO PLAYED AS CAT PEOPLE.
I LOVE SITTING ON THE PORCH, BUT THE HOUSE WAS GETTING OLD.
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW?
HUH?
[CAT PEOPLE] MEOW...
HOW WONDERFUL!
[NYAN‐TA] IT WAS, RIGHT UP UNTIL THE TIME THE WEATHER GOT TO IT
AND HALF THE HOUSE COLLAPSED.
[SHIROE] SO IT BROKE UP?
(HEAVY DOWNPOUR)
[NAOTSUGU] HELLO?
[SHIROE] SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.
COULD YOU POSSIBLY PUT US UP FOR THE NIGHT?
[MAN] OH, MY. ADVENTURERS AT MY DOORSTEP.
NOW, THAT'S A RARE SIGHT, INDEED.
[NAOTSUGU] HOW'S IT GOING?
[MAN] WELCOME TO THE VILLAGE OF ARB.
[SHIROE, THINKING] WAIT, IS THIS GUY REALLY AN NPC, A PERSON OF THE LAND?
MY NAME HAPPENS TO BE FEDOR, VILLAGE OMBUDSMAN.
PLEASURE'S MINE.
AH. IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
THAT'S COOL. YOU GOT A NAME AND EVERYTHING.
[SERARA] WOW! [FEDOR] NOW, YOU KIDS GO AHEAD AND USE THIS BARN
FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIKE, ALL RIGHT?
[SHIROE] THANK YOU.
(NAOTSUGU GASPS)
IT'S REALLY HAY!
MOVE IT. YOU'RE GETTING YOUR STINK ON EVERYONE'S BEDDING.
WHATEVER!
UH, COULD I TROUBLE YOU TO SHOW ME TO THE HEARTH, HMM?
[FEDOR] IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE, FELLA.
[SERARA] I'M READY TO COOK. HOW ABOUT YOU?
[NAOTSUGU] I'M GONNA NEED MORE THAN THAT!
[AKATSUKI] THIS IS FOR MY LORD! [NAOTSUGU] COME ON!
[FEDOR] YOUR FRIENDS ARE QUITE LIVELY, AREN'T THEY?
[SHIROE] YEAH. HEH.
[FEDOR] OH. SO YOU'RE GOING TO AKIHABARA?
[SHIROE] YES.
[FEDOR] PEOPLE OF THE LAND LIKE US DON'T DO A WHOLE LOT OF TRAVELING, YOU KNOW.
[NAOTSUGU] IF YOU WANT TO HEAR A STORY OR TWO, WE'VE GOT PLENTY.
[FEDOR] YEAH? I BET YOU GOT TALES TALLER THAN A GRIFFIN'S EYE.
[SHIROE] UH...
DON'T JUST STAND THERE STARING AT OUR GUESTS.
COME ON IN.
DON'T BE AFRAID, NOW.
[KIDS] GOOD AFTERNOON! [SHIROE] HI THERE.
[NAOTSUGU] OH, YOU GUYS SURE ARE CUTE.
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?
[GIRL] MISCHA. [BOY] IVAN.
MISCHA AND IVAN? NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS.
[SHIROE] MM‐HMM.
(CRINGING)
[MISCHA] A NINJA? [IVAN] A NINJA!
[MISCHA] IT'S A NINJA! [IVAN] DO SOMETHING REALLY COOL!
DO A BACKFLIP! KICK MY SISTER!
LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE TAKEN A SHINE TO YOUR FRIEND THERE.
THEY'RE ALL THE SAME SIZ‐ AH‐AH‐AH!
(MOO)
[FEDOR] THEY'RE MY GRANDCHILDREN.
IT WAS ONE HELL OF A DAY WHEN THEY WERE BORN.
[SHIROE] TELL ME ABOUT IT.
10 BELOW, AND THEIR FATHER ALREADY DECIDED
TO GO OUT IN THE BLIZZARD TO THE MARKET.
I WAS THE ONLY MAN HERE, SO HERE I GO
CARRYING THEIR MOTHER TO THE DOCTOR ON THE OTHER SIDE‐
[IVAN] GRANDPA, COME HERE!
[FEDOR] WHAT IS IT? [NAOTSUGU] THIS IS CRAZY, MAN.
EVEN THE NON‐PLAYER CHARACTERS HAVE BACK STORIES THAT MAKE THEM SEEM REAL, SHIROE.
(CHILDREN LAUGH) IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,
I'D SWEAR I WAS TALKING TO REAL PEOPLE.
[SHIROE] THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE. [NAOTSUGU] HMM?
[SHIROE] SOFTWARE ENGINEERS DON'T GIVE THOUSANDS OF NPCs FAMILIES,
FEELINGS, AND MEMORIES.
WE RUN AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE ACTING LIKE WE'RE SUPERHEROES,
AND IN A WORLD LIKE THIS WE CAN'T EVEN DIE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WE TRY.
SERIOUSLY.
I MEAN, DOESN'T THAT KIND OF MAKE US
THE FREAKS AND THE WEIRDOES IN THIS PLACE?
I GUESS SO.
[SHIROE] THEY'RE THE ONES ACTUALLY LIVING HERE.
IT'S THEIR WORLD. THEY'RE THE PEOPLE OF THE LAND.
[NAOTSUGU] EVER SINCE THIS WHOLE THING WENT DOWN,
IT SEEMS LIKE I'VE BEEN SEEING MORE OF THEM THAN BEFORE.
YOU THINK WE DIDN'T NOTICE THOSE GUYS BECAUSE WE WERE PLAYING, YOU KNOW?
[SHIROE] AND QUESTING? YEAH, MAYBE.
[SERARA] TA‐DA!
DINNER'S GONNA BE AWESOME!
[NYAN‐TA] WE TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY TO VISIT SOME OF THE NEIGHBORS.
LUCKY FOR US, THEY WERE NICE ENOUGH TO SELL US SOME FOOD, NOW.
[SERARA] ISN'T THIS GREAT?
THEY ACTUALLY SOLD US CHEESE AND SAUSAGE!
[AKATSUKI] SO YOU MEAN...
YOU DIDN'T USE THE MENU TO MAKE THOSE?
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
NO, CHEESE AND SAUSAGE ARE ACTUALLY INGREDIENTS.
AND THEY'RE REALLY TASTY WHEN OUR CHEF COOKS 'EM.
[SERARA] WE MANAGED TO GET BUTTER AND EGGS, TOO!
AND I ALSO GOT SALT WHEN I WAS IN SUSUKINO.
THAT MEANS WE CAN MAKE A BATCH OF COOKIES!
[NYAN‐TA] MMM, RIGHT.
"COOKIES"? WHAT ARE THOSE?
(RIBBIT)
[IVAN AND MISCHA] OHH... MMM.
[BOTH] AH!
AH!
[IVAN] WHAT ARE THESE? [MISCHA] SO GOOD!
[IVAN] YEAH!
(IVAN AND MISCHA GIGGLE)
[MISCHA] THESE ARE GOOD.
[SHRADER] GET MOVING!
WE NEED TO GET BACK BEFORE THE TRIFFIDS RESPAWN.
OUR HEALER WAS SENT TO THE CATHEDRAL.
(GROANS)
DO I LOOK LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF DAMN BABYSITTER?
THIS IS FREAKIN' RIDICULOUS.
[ISUZU] UH!
ARE YOU OK?
SORRY, TOYA. GUESS I JUST GOT DIZZY.
THAT GUY...
[TOYA] TWO OF US DIED TODAY BECAUSE OF THAT JERK.
[ISUZU] YEAH, BUT I HATE TO SAY IT,
WE'RE NOT THAT STRONG WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
[SHRADER] UNBELIEVABLE.
WELL, WE DIDN'T HIT OUR QUOTA,
AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE YOU STUPID KIDS ARE TOO WEAK.
[TOYA] THAT'S CRAP.
IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE LEVEL 8s AND HE'S A 28.
THAT'S WHY WE GOT BEAT UP OUT THERE!
[ISUZU] WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TOYA?
[TOYA] I STILL DON'T REALLY GET IT,
BUT HE'S LIKE A MAGNET FOR MORE POWERFUL MONSTERS.
I CAN'T PROVIDE DEFENSE IF THEY'RE ATTACKING HIM!
[GIRL] AAH!
[TOYA] THAT'S WHY WE'RE GETTING DESTROYED!
I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE. IT'S NOT FAIR.
OK. I GET IT.
THAT'S WHY SHIROE USED THE TEACHER SYSTEM TO LOWER HIS STATS.
[SHRADER] YOU TWO NEED TO SHUT UP!
YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!
[TOYA] COME ON. WE'RE ALMOST BACK TO AKIHABARA. YOU CAN MAKE IT.
[ISUZU] YEAH. OK.
(THUNDER)
[MINORI] IF THEY GAVE YOU THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF TIME,
THOSE WOUNDS WOULD HEAL ON THEIR OWN.
THEY JUST CAN'T KEEP RUNNING YOU OUT THERE.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR HANDS? DO THEY HURT?
[MINORI] MY HANDS...
I JUST GOT TO GET USED TO THE SEWING, I GUESS.
(FUMING)
MAN, WHY DID WE JOIN THIS STINKING GUILD ANYWAY?
WE WERE STUCK.
WE WERE LOST, AND WE DIDN'T BOTHER TO ASK ANYONE ELSE.
(CLOCK STRIKES)
[SHRADER] ALL RIGHT, YOU LITTLE PANSIES, SHOW US YOUR HANDS.
CONSIDER YOURSELVES LUCKY.
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE PRETTY WORTHLESS, YOU CAN STILL EARN 3 MEALS A DAY.
(SHRADER LAUGHS)
I WONDER WHAT... WHAT WOULD SHIROE DO ABOUT THIS?
[TOYA] HOW WOULD HE GET OUT OF HERE?
HUH!
BROTHER SHIROE...
[SHRADER] WELL, THAT'S EVERYONE. LET'S GO.
AND TRY NOT TO GET YOURSELVES KILLED TODAY.
GOT IT?
[MARIELLE] THANKS, SHIROE! THANK YOU!
[SHIROE] YOU DON'T NEED TO THANK ME, MARIELLE.
[TOYA] I KNOW THAT VOICE. IT'S GOT TO BE...
[NAOTSUGU] LET GO OF MY NECK!
[TOYA] BROTHER SHIROE!
[SHRADER] HEY, SHAKE A LEG, BOY.
YOU WANT TO EAT TONIGHT, DON'T YA?
[AKATSUKI, VOICE‐OVER] WE RETURNED TO AKIHABARA,
WHICH SEEMED TO BE REGAINING A MEASURE OF PEACE.
HOWEVER, IT WAS THE KIND OF PEACE THAT HAPPENS
WHEN THE WEAK RELINQUISH CONTROL TO THE STRONG.
DO SOME SEE IT AND DO NOTHING?
IS SHIROE ONE OF THEM?
WILL HE ONLY WATCH AS THE WORLD AROUND HIM
BECOMES MORE WARPED AND UNBALANCED?
[SHIROE] THIS IS OUR REALITY.