\h\h\h\h\h\h洗手间故障
城市之勺餐厅 24小时营业\h\h\h
数学系
背景音乐 ♫ American Beauty Rose
意大利电影导演 非理性主义和狂欢复调诗学的代表
茶叶占卜
星期四晚上
背景音乐 ♫ I Let A Song Go Out Of My Heart
♪ 起舞吧起舞吧 ♪ ♪ Dance dance ♪
♪ 只与我一人 ♪ ♪ Only with me ♪
♪ 爱情 爱情 ♪ ♪ Love love ♪
♪ 只爱我一人 ♪ ♪ Love only me ♪
♪ 直到我们甜蜜的 ♪ ♪ Till all our sweet ♪
♪ 乐曲 ♪ ♪ Music ♪
♪ 慢慢消散 ♪ ♪ Is gone. ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的方式 ♪ ♪ It's the way that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的方式 ♪ ♪ It's the way that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的方式 ♪ ♪ It's the way that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的时机 ♪ ♪ It's the time that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的时机 ♪ ♪ It's the time that you do it ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ Ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的时机 ♪ ♪ It's the time that you do it ♪
♪ 这就是结果 ♪ ♪ That's what gets results ♪
♪ 你可以更努力 ♪ ♪ You can try hard ♪
♪ 别太当真了 ♪ ♪ Don't mean a thing ♪
♪ 轻松一点儿 ♪ ♪ Take it easy ♪
♪ 和我一起说 ♪ ♪ Please say it ♪
♪ 接着一起摇摆 ♪ ♪ Then your jive will swing ♪
♪ 不是你做的吗 ♪ ♪ It ain't what you do ♪
♪ 像是你做事的地点 ♪ ♪ It's the place that you do it ♪
♪ 这就是结果 ♪ ♪ That's what gets results ♪
♪ 雏菊很迷人 鸢尾很甜美 ♪ ♪ Daisy is darling Iris is sweet ♪
♪ 百合很可爱 花对所有的 ♪ ♪ Lily is lovely Blossom's a treat ♪
♪ 甜心都是一种享受 ♪ ♪ Of all the sweethearts ♪
♪ 每个男人都会遇到所爱 ♪ ♪ A guy could meet ♪
♪ 我最终选了漂亮的美国玫瑰 ♪ ♪ Well I finally chose an American beauty rose ♪
♪ 月桂会拥抱你 ♪ ♪ Laurel will hug you ♪
♪ 兰花是神圣的 ♪ ♪ Orchid's divine ♪
♪ 我还是选了一朵漂亮的美国玫瑰 ♪ ♪ Still I finally chose an American beauty rose. ♪
♪ 爸爸喜欢曼波舞 ♪ Papa love mambo ♪
♪ 妈妈喜欢曼波舞 ♪ Mama loves mambo ♪
♪ 妈妈喜欢曼波舞 妈妈喜欢曼波舞 ♪ Mama loves mambo ♪ ♪ Mama loves mambo ♪
♪ 他平衡着身体的重量 ♪ Evens his weight with it now ♪
♪ 他后退一步 她前进一步 ♪ He goes to she goes fro ♪
♪ 他舞步轻快 ♪ ♪ He goes fast ♪
♪ 爸爸喜欢曼波 ♪ Papa loves mambo ♪
♪ 你知道 我们注定 ♪ You know that we were meant ♪
♪ 不止是朋友 ♪ To be more than just friends ♪
♪ 我一直不懂得音乐的甜美 ♪ ♪ I won't know sweet music ♪
♪ 直到你回来 ♪ ♪ Until you return ♪
♪ 某天 ♪ ♪ Someday ♪
♪ 嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟 ♪ ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ 你让你妈妈都乱了 ♪ ♪ You've got your mother in a whirl ♪
♪ 她都分不清你是男是女 ♪ ♪ She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl ♪
♪ 宝贝 你的发型真不错 ♪ ♪ Hey babe your hair's all right ♪
♪ 宝贝 我们出去过夜吧 ♪ ♪ Hey babe let's go out tonight ♪
♪ 你喜欢我 我喜欢这感觉 ♪ ♪ You like me and I like it all ♪
♪ 我们喜欢跳舞 看起来不食人间烟火 ♪ ♪ We like dancing and we look divine ♪
♪ 你爱那些乐队 他们在卖力演奏 ♪ ♪ You love bands when they play it hard ♪
♪ 你还想要更多 还要更快一点 ♪ ♪ You want more and you want it fast ♪
♪ 他们把你放倒 还说我有问题 ♪ ♪ They put you down they say I'm wrong ♪
♪ 你才有问题 勾搭他们 ♪ ♪ You tacky thing you put them on ♪
♪ 叛逆 反抗 你撕破裙子 ♪ ♪ Rebel Rebel you've torn your dress ♪
♪ 叛逆 反抗 你脸一团糟 ♪ ♪ Rebel Rebel your face is a mess ♪
♪ 叛逆 反抗 他们怎么知道 ♪ ♪ Rebel Rebel how could they know ♪
♪ 性感的你 我太爱你了 ♪ ♪ Hot tramp I love you so ♪
♪ 你呢 ♪ ♪ Don't ya ♪
♪ 嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟 ♪ ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ 你让你妈妈都乱了 ♪ ♪ You've got your mother in a whirl ♪
♪ 她都分不清你是男是女 ♪ ♪ Cause she's not sure if you're a boy or a girl ♪
♪ 宝贝你的发型真不错 ♪ ♪ Hey babe your hair's all right ♪
♪ 宝贝 我们出去过夜吧 ♪ ♪ Hey babe let's stay out tonight ♪
♪ 你喜欢我 我喜欢这感觉 ♪ ♪ You like me and I like it all ♪
♪ 我们喜欢跳舞 看起来极好 ♪ ♪ We like dancing and we look divine ♪
Nah. Now seriously
现在 不是吧
there's no fucking way that Penny Pann
潘妮 潘绝不可能
can compete with these tits
赢过这波涛汹涌
Do you love it Do I love what
你爱它吗 我爱什么
Comedy.
喜剧
Stand up. Do you love it
单口喜剧 你爱它吗
Seriously
说真的吗
Well I've been doing it a while.
我已经做这个有一阵了
Okay let's put it like this.
这么跟你说吧
If there was anything else in the entire world
只要这世界上还有其他任何
that I could possibly do to earn a living I would.
能让我养家糊口的事 我都会去做
Anything. I'm talking dry cleaners to the Klan
任何事 哪怕是去三K党做干洗工
crippled kid portrait painter slaughterhouse attendant.
残疾儿童肖像画师 屠宰场打下手
If someone said to me "Leonard you can either eat a guy's head"
如果有人对我说“莱纳德 要么你去吃个人头
or do two weeks at the Copa "
要么去科帕讲两周单口”
I'd say "Pass the fucking salt."
我会回答 “他妈的给我盐”
It's a terrible terrible job.
这是份糟糕至极的工作
It should not exist.
就不应该存在
Like cancer and God.
就像癌症和上帝
Sorry.
对不起
I went to the Varick station instead.
我去了瓦里克警局
Why the hell would you do that 'Cause you like Varick better.
你为什么会走错 因为你更喜欢瓦里克
Jesus Honey you don't get to pick.
老天 宝贝 被抓了是没得选的
But do you love it
但你爱单口吗
Yeah. He loves it.
他喜欢
Excuse me. Do I need a receipt for the bail money or
打扰下 可以给我开保释金的收据 或
And next up in a night full of triumphs
下一位赢得满堂喝彩的女士
Honey forgot to tell the cabdriver to turn the meter off.
我妻子忘记让出租车司机停里程表
He's up to 20 bucks and refuses to get paid in weed
他要价20美元还不接受大麻付款
so I was wondering if maybe you Of course. Here.
所以我想你能不能 当然 给你
Put it on my tab Sure.
记我账上 好的
And hey if you need any help finding a lawyer
对了 如果你需要找律师
I've got a drawer full of cards.
我有一抽屉名片
Just don't tell anyone you know where I am. Lawyer
只是别告诉别人我在哪儿 律师
Receipt. What
收据 什么
Wha What did you mean "lawyer"
你说律师是什么意思
Wait wh what about a lawyer
为什么要提律师
Hold on. You said
等等 你说
if I need help finding a lawyer.
如果我要找律师
Why do I need help finding a lawyer
为什么我需要律师
You got arrested arrested means court court means lawyer.
你被捕了 就得上庭 上庭就需要律师
But why do I need a lawyer I got bailed out. So
但我为什么要找律师 我被保释了 所以呢
On the night I was arrested. So
就在被捕当晚 所以
I didn't sleep there. Where is this going
我都没在警局过夜 你想说什么
I got bailed out on the night I got arrested.
我被捕当晚就被保释了
It's almost like it didn't even happen.
就像什么都没发生过一样
But it did happen. But very quickly.
但确实发生了 很快啊
My advice: be your own lawyer.
我的建议是 给自己辩护吧
It's ticking. I should
还在走表 我该
Wait. Yes
等等 怎么
What
怎么了
I
我
You
你
I I don't know what to do.
我 我不知道该做什么
Well it's morning.
那么 现在是早上
Go have breakfast.
吃个早餐吧
Lenny for Christ's sake I'm dying here.
莱尼 等死我了
Yes sitting in the cab must be harrowing.
知道了 干坐在出租车里确实不好受
Stop throwing it out the window and put it in the trash.
别再从窗外扔下来了 扔进垃圾桶啊
See even the dog is upset about it.
看吧 狗都受不了你
No. You tackled her.
没有 你撞倒她了
A nudge. A gentle nudge.
推 就轻轻推了下
You took her down like she had the ball at the ten yard line.
你就是撞倒她了 就像她跑到十码线了一样
I simply felt it went to the wrong person.
我只是觉得不该给那人
She'd waste it. And this is a very nice bouquet.
她完全不值 而且这花这么漂亮
Her ears are still ringing. It has gardenias in it.
她的耳朵还在震呢 里面还有栀子花呢
Brutal. My wife is brutal.
残忍 我的妻子真残忍啊
It was perfect wasn't it
很完美是不是
Yeah. Perfect.
是啊 完美
Perfect wedding
完美的婚礼
perfect breakfast perfect life.
完美的早餐 完美的人生
So
所以
Last chance. For what
最后的机会 干嘛
We could still get that apartment around the corner.
我们还可以买下街角那个公寓
Joel We could eat here every day.
乔尔 我们可以每天来这吃早餐
I know. We could be downtown people.
我知道 我们可以成为城里人
Close to the clubs the park.
周围就是各种俱乐部 公园
You love the park. Riverside's a park too.
你喜欢公园的 也爱滨江公园
I thought you wanted to be a cool chick.
我还以为你想做个时尚少妇
I can be a cool chick with a doorman
即使我和一个门卫
and a Kelvinator Foodarama refrigerator can't I
守着台老旧冰箱我也能做个时尚少妇 不是吗
Yes you can.
当然 你可以的
I really love that apartment.
我真的很喜欢那套公寓
I grew up in that building.
我从小在那长大
My parents are so close.
离我父母还那么近
Very close. When we have kids
确实近 当我们有了孩子
we can just go upstairs drop them off
我们可以上楼把孩子扔给他们
go downtown and be cool cats by night.
去市中心通宵做对夜猫子
We can have it all.
我们可以拥有这一切
I'm not gonna say no to you.
我都没办法拒绝你
Not after I saw what you're capable of.
尤其是在我看到你能力之后
You love me Joel Rochester probably loved
你爱我吗 乔尔 罗切斯特大概爱过
that first wife of his and then she went nuts
他的第一任妻子 她后来疯了
and burned the house down.
然后把房子烧了
Do you
你爱吗
I do.
我爱
Meet me in the bathroom.
到卫生间来找我
What Two minute head start.
什么 两分钟后
A Are you kidding me You're in a wedding dress.
你开玩笑吗 你还穿着结婚礼服啊
Excuse me. Where's the ladies'
请问 女士洗手间在哪儿
Thanks. Clock starts now.
谢谢 计时开始
Who are you
你到底是谁啊
I thought I married a nice girl.
我还以为我娶了个乖女孩
You did not.
你才没有
♪ 背景音乐 Dance Only With Me
You alone
一个人吗
Yes.
是的
Joel left you.
乔尔抛弃你了
I know. I was there. How do you know
我知道 当时我在 你怎么知道的
He's at my house right now.
他现在就在我家
What
什么
Imo Shh.
伊莫 嘘
My arm. Shh. Shh.
我的胳膊 嘘嘘
Joel showed up at our house with this tiny girl suitcase
乔尔拎着个小巧的女士手提箱出现在我家
and he and Archie went into Archie's office
之后和阿奇去了书房
and shut the door and all I could hear was
关上了门 我只听到了
"bowling" and "pandas" did you fight about bowling
“保龄球”和“熊猫” 你们因为保龄球吵架了吗
No. Was there a panda
没啊 那熊猫呢
No. Well maybe it wasn't pandas but it had a "P."
没有 那就不是熊猫了 但我记得有P
Joel left me for his secretary.
乔尔是为了他的秘书离开我的
What
什么
Penny Pann. Pann like panda.
潘妮 潘 潘妮和熊猫的发音相似
Pann like panda. My God.
听着是像熊猫 天啊
Ladies take your place.
女士们 各就各位
His secretary His idiot secretary.
他的秘书吗 他的智障秘书
Wouldn't be better if she was smart. Actually it would.
就算不是智障也好不到哪里 还是会好一点
Everyone arms to the sky.
各位 手臂举过头
Rag doll down.
滚到底
Shake it out.
抖起来
His secretary. How unoriginal.
秘书 也太没创意了
Unoriginality is kind of his thing lately.
他最近做的事都没什么创意
Rag doll up.
摆上来
Grab your Lythe lines.
捡起你们的弹力绳
It's always those girls.
总是那些女孩子
What girls Those shorthand girls.
哪些女孩 那些文秘
Girls who go to secretarial school and learn shorthand
那些上秘书专科学校学速记的女孩子
and that gives them entre to our husbands.
然后通过这个去接近我们的丈夫
And once they have entre to our husbands
一旦她们接近了我们的丈夫
our husbands entre right into them.
他们的魂就被勾走了
Shorthand girls.
文秘女孩
I could have been a shorthand girl.
我本来也有可能成为文秘的
I could have gone out into the workforce with my shorthand
我也可能去做些秘书之类的工作
but I didn't I got married.
但我没有 我结婚了
I did it the right way.
我选对了路
Longhand. That's right.
有远见 那当然
The worst part is I didn't suspect a thing.
最糟的是 我一点都没察觉到
I just thought we were a great couple.
我还以为我们是模范夫妻
I did too.
我也这么认为
I told Archie constantly "Midge and Joel
我一直跟阿奇说 “米琪和乔尔
they are a great couple."
他们是模范夫妻”
Grab your bottles.
捡起你的瓶子
Hey stop working so hard.
喂 别那么用力
Why You're starting to look like them.
为什么 你会变得和她们一样了
The divorcees Do not forget
那些离过婚的 别忘了
we do this so we can eat cheesecake.
我们来健身是为了吃芝士蛋糕
They do this because they need to find new men
她们来健身是为了找到新男人
or at least look trim for the coroner after they die alone.
或者是为了死了验尸时没那么难看
Is that Martha Kilgallin
那是玛莎 柯盖林吗
When did she join "the corner" Last week.
她什么时候跑角落去了 上周
Richard went straight to a lawyer's office
理查德带着手提箱和一堆酒
with his suitcase and his portable bar
径直去了律师事务所
and just like that three became four.
就这样 三个变成了四个
Now five.
现在是五个了
Who knows besides me
除了我还有谁知道
My parents. Joel Archie.
我父母 乔尔 阿奇
Well we won't tell.
我们不会说出去的
People will find out eventually.
大家迟早会发现
I should just come out with it and tell everyone
我就应该直接告诉大家
and get it over with.
然后这事就过去了
All right let's think this through.
好吧 我们理下思路
If you do tell people then at least
如果你告诉了人们 那至少
you could control the narrative.
你掌握了发言权
You know what I mean
懂我的意思吧
frame yourself in the best light.
让自己占据有利处境
Done right maybe you just get pushed back a row or two
处理得当的话 也许你只会后退几排
not all the way into "the corner."
不会一直被扔在角落
Maybe.
也许吧
Unless you think Joel is coming back.
或者你觉得乔尔还会回心转意
'Cause if you think he's coming back then it's better
因为如果你觉得乔尔还会的话 就好办多了
you don't tell anybody because then he'll be back
那你就不用告诉大家 因为等他回心转意
and no one will have known he left.
就没人知道他还抛弃过你
But if you tell them he left and then he comes back
但你如果你告诉了大家 然后又和好了
you'll still be the person that he left only now he's back.
你不过是个与出轨丈夫和好的弃妇
But they'll know that you were left
但大家一直会记得你被抛弃过
even though you aren't left now.
即使之后你没有被抛弃
And I don't know what corner of the room
我都不知道这个屋里还有哪个角落
you stand in to be that person.
能容下这样的你了
All right ladies crab walk.
好的 女士们 螃蟹步
背景音乐 T'Aint What You Do
Hey Joel. Hey morning Tony.
嘿 乔尔 早安 托尼
Moishe.
莫伊舍
That's a handprint Jimmy.
这有个手印 吉米
Mr. Maisel Right there right on the jacket.
麦瑟尔先生 这里 就在夹克这里
A handprint. Not my handprint. I know.
一个手印 不是我的 我知道
But it is my jacket which is now ruined
但我夹克现在成这样了
because right there left hand
因为这里 左手边
clear as day. I'll find out
很明显 我会查出
I want you to find out whose goddamn handprint that is
我要你找出这个该死的手印是谁弄的
and you bring him to me. Yes Good Great.
然后带过来见我 明白了吗 好吗 好的
Good work ladies.
干的好 女士们
Keep 'em hum hum humming along. Pop
保持下去 爸
Love to hear the sound of the machines.
我就爱听这机器运转的声音
You don't look sick. Pop
你看起来没病啊 爸
Miraculous recovery
康复了
Modern science score another knockout
现代科学的又一大奇迹吗
I'm not sick. That's not what I heard.
我没病 是吗
I heard you were sick. Pin.
可我听说你病了 钉住
Quiet.
安静
Mother in law called an hour ago
亲家母一小时前打电话给我
said everyone in the family is sick. Everyone.
说家里每个人都病了 每个人
What the hell are you doing
你他妈在干嘛
I said halter. That's a sweetheart.
我说的是系脖 你这是吊带
Halter Halter Halter Sorry Mr. Maisel.
系脖懂吗 对不起 麦瑟尔先生
Your mother in law called and said the whole family is so ill
你岳母说所有家人都病了
that break fast is canceled.
连开斋日都取消了
So ill the holiest of holy days cannot happen.
病到连这么神圣的日子都取消了
If it's so holy why do you keep the factory open
要是真这么神圣 那工厂怎么还开工啊
You want a smack in the face I'm just saying.
你是想要一巴掌吧 我就说说
Those people get paid by the piece.
这些人以此为生
You want to take a day's work away from them
你想他们一天不能工作吗
God wants them to go hungry
上帝会想看他们饿肚子吗
because I shut my doors Fine.
就因为我不开张 好了
Half of those people out there are gentiles.
这有一半的人是异教徒
You go explain Yom Kippur to a gentile.
你去和他们解释什么是赎罪日吧
"We're happy but we're starving.
我们很开心 虽然我们饿着肚子
It's New Year's but we're guilty."
这是新的一年 但我们身负罪恶
Sounding like a nonbeliever Pop.
听着像是无信仰者说的话 爸
No I'm not a nonbeliever. I am a believer.
不 我可不是无信仰者 我是个信徒
I believe that everything I have is because of Him.
我坚信我所拥有的一切都是因为“他”
And these which he gave me.
是他赐予我这一切
It's Abe right What
是亚伯对吧 什么
Abe canceled dinner No.
是亚伯取消了晚餐 不是
Abe's a nonbeliever Abe did not cancel dinner.
亚伯是个无信仰者吗 亚伯没有取消晚餐
That schmuck cancels the dinner.
那个笨蛋取消了晚餐
A holy dinner he cancels. It's not Abe.
多神圣的晚餐啊 他取消了 不是亚伯
Your mother's very upset. Does Abe know that
你母亲很难过 亚伯知道吗
It's not Abe. Yom Kippur
不是亚伯 救赎日
is a very big deal for your mother.
对你母亲而言非常重要
There's kugel she sees the kids.
有面食 她看着那些孩子
Yeah I know. You think that happens every day
是的 我知道 你觉得这种日子天天有的吗
You think every day there's kugel and kids
你觉得每天都能看到孩子们吃面吗
If you'd just Ooh there was crying.
你能不能 有人在哭
So much crying.
哭得那么伤心
A good 40 to 50 minutes of crying.
哭了有四五十分钟
And finally I said "Shirley if Abe doesn't
最后我说 “雪莉 如果亚伯不想
want us at his house what are we gonna do "
我们出现在他的家里 我们要怎么办”
Pop Please just stop talking.
爸 求你别说了
I'm not talking.
我不说了
You're not talking either.
你也不说了
Quiet's nice sometimes.
有时候安静更让人舒适
I have to tell you something.
我有话和你说
Okay.
说吧
Midge and I are splitting up.
米琪和我分手了
That's why dinner was canceled.
这就是为什么晚餐取消了
We split up last night.
我们昨晚分手了
What's her name
她叫什么
Who The girl.
谁 那个女孩
No no no no. Trixie Dixie
不是 戴克西 迪克西
It's not like that. No
不是那么回事 不是吗
No No. It didn't work.
不是 是我们不爱了
It's nobody's fault.
不是谁的错
Sometimes these things happen okay
自然而然地发生了 好吗
People with the best of intentions just grow apart.
出于好意 人们随着成长就彼此分开了
That's all. Just wanted you to know.
仅此而已 就想让你知道这点
That you and Midge split up
知道你和米琪分手了吗
Yes. Okay. Sorry to hear it.
是的 好的 我很遗憾
I always liked Midge.
我一直很喜欢米琪
Just not the one
不是对的人 是吗
That's gonna be a hell of a phone call to your mother.
打电话告诉你母亲这件事太残忍了
I'll do it when I get home.
等我回家我会打给她的
Home Okay. You'll call your mother when you get home
回家 好的 你回家后打电话给你母亲
and let her know your marriage is over.
让她知道你的婚姻完蛋了
That'll be terrific. Hey
那太棒了 嘿
Don't bother calling your mother. I'll tell her.
别打给你妈妈了 我会告诉她的
That roll of pink tulle you're dragging across the ground
你拖在地上的那卷粉色薄纱
it's French.
是法国的
Do you know what else is French The guillotine
你知道还有什么是法国的吗 断头台
Turn your back for one minute
一分钟不看着
everybody is the village idiot.
就都变成乡下白痴
Well at least Abe's gonna be happy.
好吧 至少亚伯会很开心
What are you talking about He never thought much of you.
你在说什么 他从来都没看上你
That's not true. No
不可能 不可能吗
Okay. My mistake.
好吧 我错了
Put it down
放下
Put it Let me see your hand.
放 让我看看你的手
Up in the air left hand right now
举起左手 马上
Morning Professor.
早上好 教授
Good morning Professor Weissman.
早上好 维斯曼教授
There it is.
就是这样
Study it.
好好研究下
Now this matrix is composed of two row vectors
现在 这个矩阵是由两个行向量组成
v one and v two but the rank is only one.
V1和V2 但只有一个秩
Can anyone tell me why
有人能告诉我为什么吗
No. No.
不 不
No. No. Truman
不 不 杜鲁门
Because once it's reduced to echelon form
因为一旦转换成梯阵式
there's only one independent vector.
就只有一个独立的向量
Correct. Now can anyone tell me the nullity of this matrix
答对了 现在有人能告诉我这个矩阵的零向量吗
No. No. No. No.
不 不 不 不
Truman Unbelievable.
杜鲁门 又是他
I'm sorry. Do you have something to say
抱歉 你有什么要说的吗
You never call on me. You never call on anyone.
你从来不叫我 也不叫别人
You only ever call on Truman.
你只会抽杜鲁门
Truman knows the answers.
杜鲁门知道答案
Truman always knows the answers.
杜鲁门总是知道答案
Yes but we could know the answers.
是的 但是我们也能知道答案
Really Did you
真的吗 你知道吗
No.
不知道
Did you know the answer No.
你知道答案吗 不知道
No Did you know the answer
不知道 你知道答案吗
No. No.
不知道 不知道
So none of you knew the answer.
所以你们没人知道答案
No. But Truman.
没有 除了杜鲁门
But we could have known the answer. That's the point.
但是我们本可以知道答案 这才是重点
Could have
本可以
Could have. Charlie
本可以 查理
Lance. Could have doesn't count.
兰斯 本可以 没意义
Maybe doesn't count.
也许 没意义
"I took a shot" doesn't count.
我猜的 也没意义
Because this room is a sanctuary
因为这个房间是一个
from the variables in the outside world.
远离外面世界变数的圣所
In this room we deal with absolutes.
在这里 我们和绝对打交道
Period.
在我的课上
In this room
在这个房间里
this is what counts.
这才是重要的
These two vectors are collinear.
这两个向量是共线的
They go together.
它们在一条线上
And they will always go together.
并且它们永远都会在一条线上
This is the solemn vow made by mathematics.
这是神圣的数学誓言
In this room v two is never going to break that vow
在这里 V2永远不会打破这个誓言
and decide that it doesn't need the other vector anymore
并且决定它不再需要其它的向量
that it's gonna run off and become linearly independent.
决定了它会逃跑并变成线性独立
V two is never going to come home from work one day
V2永远不会某天下班回到家
and tell v one "You know what "
告诉V1 你知道吗
"I think I need my own vector space.
我觉得我需要自己的向量空间
See ya."
再见
And then v one's dad has to come in and tell her "No"
然后V1的爸爸不得不走进来告诉她 不
"you can't let v two do that.
你不能让V2那么做
You you got to go get v two back "
你 你要让V2回来
an impermanent solution
一个暂时的解决方案
because v one's dad is not gonna be around forever
因为V1的父亲不会永远在她身边
to solve all of v one's problems.
去解决V1所有的问题
Write that down.
记下来
And just like that Joel left in the middle of the night
就这样 乔尔在半夜离开了
like a cat burglar. God that's terrible.
像一个飞贼 天呐 太糟糕了
I'm so surprised. He seemed
我很惊讶 他看起来
so crazy about Midge. You want sugar today
很爱米琪 今天要加糖吗
No. Maybe a lump.
不用 要不加一块
Two lumps. I put in three.
两块 我放了三块
It's a stressful time.
现在你压力挺大的
Drink.
喝吧
How is poor Miriam
可怜的米里亚姆怎么样了
Who can tell with her
谁能和她谈谈心呢
You know maybe I sensed something.
你知道吗 我可能察觉到了不对劲
But just last week I told her to get pregnant again.
但上周 我还叫她再要个孩子
Too hot.
太烫了
I told her "Three before 30." That was my mistake.
我跟她说 30岁之前要3个孩子 是我的错
I waited too long between Miriam and Noah.
生米里亚姆和诺亚之间我隔太久了
I could only fit in two. You need to drink the tea honey.
我只能要两个了 亲爱的 先喝茶吧
But Miriam is Miriam.
但是米里亚姆就是米里亚姆
She wanted to play and run around
她想到处游玩
dressed in black like a FellinI film.
像费里尼电影里一样穿黑衣服
It's fine now.
现在不烫了
There's beer in her refrigerator.
她冰箱里有啤酒
Dear. Joel thinks she's frivolous.
天呐 乔尔觉得她轻浮
That's why he left. She's always been her own girl.
所以他抛弃了她 她一直在做她自己
Do you remember when
你还记得
she wanted to learn to drive
她想学开车那会儿吗
Because she found pink driving gloves.
因为她发现了粉色的驾驶手套
Everything with Midge starts with an accessory.
米琪的所有想法都是由配饰激发的
How's Abe taking all this
亚伯怎么说的
Abe got up this morning and went to work.
亚伯今天早上起床就去上班了
The world could be ending and he'd get up and go to work.
就算世界要毁灭 他还是会起床去上班
And if Columbia University fell into the ocean
如果哥伦比亚大学沉入了海里
he'd work from home.
他就会在家里工作
Here. Does the rabbi know
给你 拉比知道吗
What No. God no. Good.
什么 不 天啊 不知道 很好
Can you imagine I don't want to.
你能想象吗 我不想
We're all sick. That's what he knows.
我们都生病了 我这么告诉他的
Very very sick. You did not see me today.
非常 非常严重 你今天没见过我
Who am I talking to No one. I'm alone here.
我能跟谁说啊 没人 这儿就我一个
Okay let's take a look at this.
好的 我们来看看这个
I failed her. I failed her somehow.
我对不起她 在某种程度上
My whole family everyone's married.
我家族的每个人都结婚了
Abe's family everyone's married.
亚伯家族的每个人也都结婚了
I should've sent her to Paris. My mother sent me to Paris.
我应该送她去巴黎的 我妈妈就送我去了巴黎
Paris is wonderful but it's good Midge didn't go.
巴黎很棒 但是米琪没去是好事
There was danger for her there.
那对她来说很危险
Too much bread. Yes.
太多诱惑了 是的
Okay let's see.
好的 来看看
I just need to know whether or not
我只需要知道是不是
this separation is actually going to happen.
真的要分开
I see a hammer. Is a hammer good
我看见了一个铁锤 铁锤是好事吗
It is if you want to hang a picture.
你要是想挂一幅画它是不错
Please Drina
拜托 迪娜
A hammer means triumph. You will triumph.
铁锤象征胜利 你会胜利的
And the leaves say this journey will end in peace and happiness.
这些茶叶说整件事将以和平和幸福告终
Triumph Peace and happiness You're sure
胜利 和平和幸福 你确定吗
You're doubting the leaves No. Never.
你怀疑茶叶吗 不 从不
Okay you're still nervous. Drina knows this.
好吧 你还是很担心 迪娜看出来了
I'll tell you what.
我告诉你怎么做
I'll throw in a charm. Put this
我给你一个符咒 把这个
under Miriam's pillow for a week.
在米里亚姆的枕头底下放一周
It'll help the luck stick.
它会带来好运
My God what is that smell
我的天 这是什么味道
Tannis root. Just tell Miriam
是单宁根 就告诉米里亚姆
a rat died in the wall or something.
墙里有老鼠死了什么的
Thank you Drina. Don't worry.
谢谢你 迪娜 别担心
Miriam will land on her feet.
米里亚姆会振作起来的
Take it from me.
相信我
Are you paying by check today
你今天用支票付款吗
Hey Mrs. Maisel Hold on a sec
麦瑟尔夫人 稍等
What's wrong Some guy showed up here looking for you.
怎么了 有人来这找你
I asked him to wait down here but he pushed right past.
我叫他在这等 但是他强行冲了进去
Almost bit me. No.
差点咬到我 不
Hey I'm calling the cops right now. Don't call the cops.
我现在就报警 别报警
Everything's fine
没什么大事
Good morning Mrs. Maisel. Good morning.
早上好 麦瑟尔夫人 早上好
I'm sorry.
对不起
Are you fucking kidding me I know.
你在跟我开玩笑吗 我知道
I know. 9:30.
我知道 九点半
I got up at 9:30. In the morning.
我早上九点半起床
You know the last time I was up at 9:30 in the morning
你知道我上一次九点半起床是什么时候吗
It was the last time I stayed out all night
是我整夜没睡
and got home at 9:30 in the morning.
然后早上九点半到家
That is the last time I was up at 9:30 in the morning.
那是我上一次早上九点半起床
I'm sorry. It was a rough night.
抱歉 昨晚太难熬了
Hey you came to me okay
是你先找上我的 好吗
You know I I didn't ask you to bang on my door.
你知道 我 我没让你去敲我的门
I didn't even tell you where my door was.
我连我住哪儿都没告诉你
You figured out where it was
你找到了我的地址
and then you came there and then you banged on it
然后你跑去我家 然后你自己主动
of your own free will. I forgot.
敲的门 我忘了
Much better.
感觉好多了
It is so much better that you just forgot.
你忘了真是太好了
You know my fear was that you remembered
你知道吗 我就怕你还记得
and chose not to meet me.
然后选择不见我
But now that I know I literally didn't even enter into y
但是现在我知道 我甚至没有进入
Wh Where the hell are we What is this fucking Versailles
我们在哪儿 这是什么地方 凡尔赛宫吗
It's my apartment.
这是我的公寓
Your table is set for 30.
你的餐桌可以坐下30个人
Who has cutlery for 30
谁会准备30套餐具
Jesus Christ what is this a landing strip
天呐 这是什么 飞机跑道吗
Where is your airplane in the bathroom
你的飞机在哪儿 在浴室吗
I had no idea you were such an important person.
我不知道你来头这么大
If I had realized that the queen of England had stood me up
我要是知道英国女王放了我鸽子
I would have understood. But I just thought
我就理解了 但是我以为
you were some drunk housewife who needed my help.
你只是某个需要我帮助的醉酒家庭主妇
I had no idea you were related to fucking Charlemagne.
我不知道你和查理曼大帝是亲戚
'Cause if Catherine the Great had shown up and said
因为如果凯瑟琳大帝出现在我面前说
"Hey let's meet at 10:00 " I probably wouldn't have expected
我们十点见吧 我也许就不会期待
her to show up either. But you have to tell people who you are.
她的出现 但是你要告诉别人你是谁
'Cause if all they have to go on is the fact
因为他们会认为
that you make appointments and then forget about them
是你预约见面又忘记了这回事
they're just gonna think you're a stuck up twat.
他们会觉得你是一个目中无人的混蛋
It's an easy mistake to make.
这是一个很容易犯的错误
I almost made that same mistake.
我差点也犯了同样的错
But then I saw your dining room was set for Parliament
但刚才我看见你的餐厅被布置成议会桌的样子
What the What is this
这是 这是什么
a backup place in case you get bored with the other one
一个备用的地方以防你们厌烦了另外一个吗
What the hell is going on here
这里到底什么情况怎么回事
They've already eaten Miss Miriam. Thank you Zelda.
他们都已经吃过了 米里亚姆小姐 谢谢 塞尔达
Hey Zelda have you seen the place downstairs
嘿 塞尔达 你去过楼下的公寓吗
It will blow your mind. Hi lady.
会让你大开眼界的 你好 女士
What Where are we going
什么 我们要去哪儿
Why am I touching this child
为什么我要牵着这孩子
Why is this child touching me Hi lady.
为什么这孩子牵着我 女士好
Why is his hand sticky Why is your hand sticky
为什么这孩子手上黏糊糊的 为什么你的手这么黏
Where has his hand been that it is now currently very sticky
他的手摸了什么 为什么现在这么黏
Hi lady. Why am I still holding this child
女士好 为什么我还牵着这孩子
He can't find his way home from here
他找不到回家的路了吗
I made it home just fine when my mother forgot me
我妈妈把我忘在休战纪念日游行的时候
at the Armistice Day Parade.
我也顺利找回家了
An old soldier with one arm gave me a nickel
一个独臂老兵给了我五分硬币
and I took the bus home. You're welcome
我自己坐车回家了 不用谢
Real polite kid you got there. Good job.
你孩子真懂礼貌 教得真好
Would you like some iced tea
你要点冰茶吗
Do I want some iced tea
我要点冰茶吗
Let me think. Fuck you.
我想想 去你的
No I do not want any iced tea.
不 我不要什么冰茶
First you stand me up.
首先 你放我鸽子
Then you Bataan Death March me through Buckingham Palace.
其次你带我在白金汉宫里进行巴丹死亡行军
You make me hold your kid's filthy hand
你让我牵了你孩子的脏手
which means I probably got 14 different kinds of cholera right now.
这意味着我现在可能携带了14种不同的霍乱病毒
Sit down. I'll get us some iced tea.
快坐 我拿点冰茶来
Sit where Here What on this Are you kidding me
坐哪儿 这儿吗 什么 坐这儿 你开玩笑吗
I'm not sitting in here.
我才不要坐这儿
This is not furniture for sitting
这不是用来坐的家具
This is furniture you get appraised
这些是当你死了个有钱叔叔时
when a rich uncle dies.
被用来低价估卖的家具
You really should put plastic
你真的应该用塑料
over all of this. It's fine.
把这些都包起来 没关系的
Are those two really your children
那两个真是你孩子吗
or did we just break in and kidnap a couple kids
还是我们非法闯入绑架的孩子
Of course they're mine. Well just making sure.
他们当然是我的 只是确认下
I mean when you fraternize with an ex con
毕竟在和有前科的人结交
Hey did you know that I have to get a lawyer and go to court
你知道我必须找个律师上法庭吗
Yes. Even though I got
是啊 即使我
bailed out on the night I got arrested.
在被捕当晚就被保释了
What the hell does that have to do with anything
这有什么关系吗
So it's not a thing No it's not a thing.
这不算个事吗 当然不算
Why do I have it in my head that it's a thing
为什么我觉得这是个事呢
I don't know lady. Maybe it's all that royal inbreeding.
不知道 可能是因为皇室近亲交配
This is not that fancy of an apartment.
这个公寓没那么奢华
It's just ridiculous. That whole getting arrested thing.
这太荒谬了 整个逮捕事件
So I said some bad words.
就因为我说了几句脏话
Well and you flashed the room.
你可是在大庭广众之下坦胸露乳了
What You flashed the room.
什么 你在大庭广众之下坦胸露乳了
You pulled your top down.
你把你的上衣脱了
I did not. You did too.
我没有 你有
You hit a switch and out they came.
你触及了底线他们就进来了
That's ridiculous. "Soup's on boys "
太荒唐了 开饭了 孩子们
If I did that I'd remember.
如果我真做了 我一定会记得
Cake No I do not want cake.
要蛋糕吗 不 我不想吃蛋糕
You know what I would like to know what I am doing
你知道吗 我想知道我在干嘛
Wow.
喔
That that is an adorable cake.
这个蛋糕 很可爱
I'm sorry about today.
我对今天的事很抱歉
I really am.
真的很抱歉
Okay.
好吧
Let's just forget about this morning okay
让我们忘掉这个早上 好吗
I'm here. We can start now.
我现在在这儿 我们可以现在开始
You have any paper Pen
你有纸笔吗
Maybe parchment and a quill
或者羊皮纸和羽毛笔
Why So I can write down some stuff for you
为什么 这样我可以写点东西给你
to talk about onstage. No no no.
以用作舞台表演 不 不要
Look I'm I'm sorry about this morning
这样 我对早上的事很抱歉
but that woman last night
但昨天你见到的那个女人
she was not me.
她不是我
This is me. I am me.
这才是我 我才是我
I'm the woman who's gonna be standing
我将是那个站在
in the corner next to Martha Kilgallin
玛莎·基尔盖伦身旁 绝望且像头猪
desperate and sweating like a pig. There are two Ls
一样流汗的女人 基尔盖伦
in "Kilgallin" I'm the woman who's gonna get elbowed
有两个Ls吗 我将是那个
out of the way at the butcher shop so that other women
在肉店被推开的女人 这样一来其他女人
can get the best lamb chops. Other women who have husbands
就能买到最好的羊肉 那些为丈夫
to shop for. Nobody cares if you're ordering steak for one.
买菜的女人 没人会在意你给自己买的羊排
That's me. That's the real me we're dealing with.
这就是我 这就是真正的我
And she's not fun. She's sad and embarrassed
而她并不有趣 她既悲伤又窘迫
and What are you doing
并且 你在干嘛
I'm making notes. This is great stuff.
我在记笔记 这些句子太好了
This is not great stuff.
这些并不是什么好句子
This is my life falling apart.
这是我分崩离析的生活
My husband left me. Do you understand that
我丈夫抛弃了我 你能理解吗
He left me left my children. You've met my children.
他抛弃了我 抛弃了我的孩子 你见过我的孩子了
I did. One of 'em gave me bubonic plague.
见到了 其中一个还传染了我黑鼠疫
It was jelly goddamn it. Children get jelly
那是果冻 我天 孩子手上
on their hands. Okay. Relax.
沾了果冻 好 放松
The woman who showed up at that club and said those crazy things
那个在俱乐部出现又说了疯话的女人
was in a state.
只是处于一种状态
A manic emotional state.
一种疯狂的情绪中
Bullshit. You loved it.
扯淡 你享受其中
Yes For a moment it it was glorious okay
是的 有一瞬间我很开心 行了吧
F For one moment I said and did things
有一瞬间 我的那些言行
that I've never done or said before.
我之前都没说过也没做过
But but that is all a complete blur to me now.
但现在我完全记不清了
I don't know how I got there.
我不知道我怎么做到的
I wouldn't know how to get there again.
我不知道要怎样重新做到
And I'm not gonna try. Do you understand
而我也不想尝试 你明白吗
Yeah.
嗯
I understand.
我明白
Made me come all the way to the Upper West Side.
让我从大老远跑到上西区
Didn't even have a doctor's appointment.
甚至不是为了看医生
Wait.
等等
For the bail.
保释的钱
See ya.
再见
Not too many fatty pieces. It's all he'll eat.
不要太多肥肉 他就吃那么多
Yes Mrs. Weissman.
好的 维斯曼夫人
The rest can be leftovers for tomorrow.
剩的可以留着明天吃
Abe Dinner's on the table
亚伯 晚餐上桌了
Hello Rosie
喂 罗斯
My God Rosie is that you
天啊 罗斯 是你吗
Yes it's me Shirley.
对 是我 雪莉
Rosie I'm beside myself.
罗斯 我要疯了
I feel like a building just fell on my head.
我感觉一栋房子刚从我头顶坍塌了
A block. A whole block.
一个街区的 一整个街区的房子
I feel like 34th between Sixth and Seventh
我觉得34层刚刚从6层和7层间
just fell right on my head.
砸落在我头上
I thought dinner was on the table.
我以为晚饭上桌了
Calm down. You sound winded.
冷静 你听起来喘不过气
I see carrots potatoes
我看见胡萝卜 土豆
Hey the salad's on the table.
色拉在桌上
I'm talking to Shirley. Shirley
我在和雪莉说话 雪莉
Great. Tell her to hang on.
正好 让她别挂
I want to put her on speakerphone.
我想接上扬声器
Shirley will you hold on just one minute
雪莉 你能稍等一会儿吗
You're not hanging up on me are you
你不是要挂电话吧
No I'll be right back.
不会 我马上回来
People think I'm such a strong person but I'm not.
人们都认为我是个坚强的人 但我不是
Hurry before she hangs herself with the phone cord.
快 在她用电话线自缢前
Okay. And go.
好的 好了
Shirley are you still there
雪莉 你还在听吗
Barely. Okay good.
快不行了 好
Go ahead. You were saying
继续 你刚说
I was saying my heart is broken.
我刚说我的心碎了
Excellent. What
太好了 什么
Nothing. Go ahead Shirley.
没什么 继续 雪莉
I didn't get to have my Yom Kippur dinner.
我没有去赎罪日晚餐
It was ripped out from under me.
我的心被掏空了
Just like when we went to Boca and we saw this magician
就像我们去博卡时看到的那个魔术师
and he ripped a tablecloth out
他从一张摆好东西的桌上
from under a completely set table.
扯下了桌布
Only in my case everything falls to the floor
只是换成我 所有的东西都落在了地板上
and smashes into a million pieces.
摔了个粉碎
Tell her to speak up a little.
让她声音大点
Shirley dear could you speak up
雪莉 亲爱的 你能大点声吗
I look forward to that dinner all year
一整年里我都在期待那段晚餐
But then I heard you all had such a terrible flu.
但后来我听说你患了严重的流感
My heart stopped. I mean the flu is very serious.
我都快窒息了 流感是很严重的
People die from the flu. But when Moishe told me
人们因流感而亡 但莫伊舍告诉我
you didn't actually have the flu I was so relieved.
你并不是真得了流感 我就放心了
"Thank God I don't have to worry about that."
感谢上帝 我不用担心这个了
But then he said the kids split up
但后来他说孩子们分手了
and suddenly I just wished everybody had the flu.
突然我就希望所有人都患了流感
Split up Now what do I have
分手 现在我还有什么
No Yom Kippur.
没有赎罪日
No daughter in law.
没有儿媳妇
No grandchildren.
没有孙子孙女
You'll always have the grandchildren.
他们永远都是你的孙子孙女
Well sure yes as a concept but
当然 是的 只是概念上的 但
Shirley when did you hear the kids were breaking up
雪莉 你什么时候听说孩子们分手了
Just now. You're sure
刚刚 你确定吗
Yes. Joel came to see Moishe this afternoon and
确定 乔尔下午见了莫伊舍 之后
Wait who is this Who am I talking to
等等 是谁 我在和谁说话
That was Abe Shirley. Now try and calm down.
是亚伯 雪莉 现在尽量冷静
I promise you'll see the grandchildren again.
我保证你会再见到孙子孙女的
When When am I gonna see them again
什么时候 什么时候能再见到他们
Next Yom Kippur What am I 20
下个赎罪日 我多大年纪了 才20吗
I could be dead in an hour
也许一小时后我就死了
I hear there's a terrible flu going around.
我听说最近蔓延着严重的流感
No the flu wasn't real Shirley. The flu was an excuse.
不 流感不是真的 雪莉 流感只是个借口
Now people need an excuse not to see family
现在人们回避家人都需要找借口了吗
What a world.
世界成什么样了
She didn't go to him. I told Miriam to go to him
她没去找他 我让米里亚姆去找他的
and she didn't go to him. Abe Abe
但她没去 亚伯 亚伯
Who Nothing Shirley I'm here.
谁 没事 雪莉 我在
I just wish we could all be together
我只希望我们能团聚
just one more time.
只一次就好
One dinner.
共享一次晚餐
I know Shirley.
我理解 雪莉
One dinner.
一次晚餐
So we can celebrate the new year.
让我们能庆贺新年
So I can see my grandchildren again.
让我能再见到我的孙子孙女
So we can be a family.
让我们能 再成为一家人
I hear you Shirley. Now let me let you go.
我明白你的意思 雪莉 现在我先挂了
I promise I will speak to Miriam and then we'll talk later.
我保证会和米里亚姆谈谈 我们之后再聊
I'm gonna try her now. Bye Rose.
我现在就和她说 拜 罗斯
No Shirley.
不 雪莉
Sh Shirley
雪莉
Zelda Open the door
塞尔达 快开门
Open the door
快开门
No I pr I I am not. I promise you.
不 我保 没有 我保证
No yeah
不 对
Well that's not true Shirley.
那不是真的 雪莉
I promise you'll see the children before you die.
我保证 你死前一定能见到孩子们
Damn it.
去他的
Yes of cour Yes they love you.
对 当然 他们爱你
And they miss you. Yes I'm I'm very very sure.
他们也很想你 对 我非常非常肯定
Yes. Yes I'm sure.
对 我确定
Okay.
好
Of course.
当然
I I I understand completely.
我 我完全理解
Thursday dinner will be fine.
周四的晚餐会如期
Yes I promise.
对 我保证
Everybody will be there. Okay.
所有人都会来 好的
All right. Yes. A ah okay. Bye bye Shirley.
嗯嗯 好的 拜拜 雪莉
What a terrible place the inside of her head must be.
她脑子都装的是些什么
I tried to warn you.
我本来想提醒你
You have so many nines in your number.
但你的号码里有太多9
Thursday night Thursday night.
星期四晚上吗 是的
Well I can get you out of it.
我可以帮你推掉
Really How
真的吗 怎么推
I don't know. And Joel
我不知道 乔尔呢
He is expected. Should I call him for you
他也要来 要我打电话通知他吗
You really think Shirley hasn't gotten to him already
你以为雪莉还没告诉他吗
You're right.
你说得对
It'll be fine.
没关系
I'll have to see him eventually.
我终归是要见他的
I mean we have the children.
毕竟 我们还有孩子
We'll just have to be adults.
我们得成熟地处理这件事
And what are you gonna wear
你穿什么
Why Wear your red dress.
问这个干嘛 穿你的那条红裙子
That's an evening dress.
那是晚宴服
It's dinner. That's evening.
这就是晚宴啊
Mama If you have to see Joel
妈 如果你要见乔尔
then he has to see you and if he has to see you
那他也要见你 如果他要见你
he should see what he's missing.
你就要美得让他后悔莫及
That is not what this dinner's for.
那不是这个晚餐的本意
You're a single woman now.
你现在是单身女人
That's what every dinner's for.
参加晚宴就是为了吸引人的眼球
Morning Mr. Maisel. Morning Louella.
早 麦瑟尔先生 早 鲁埃拉
Jack I will have that proposal on your desk by lunch
杰克 中午之前我会把提案交到你的桌子上
I promise.
我保证
Good morning Mr. Maisel.
早 麦瑟尔先生
Did Miss Pann call in sick
潘恩小姐请病假了吗
Miss Pann No.
潘恩小姐吗 没有
I'm your new girl Mrs. Moskowitz.
我是你的新助理 莫斯科维兹夫人
My Funny little story:
我的 讲个小故事
I met you when you were an itty bitty boy.
第一次见面的时候 你还是个小屁孩
That's how long I've been working here.
一晃眼 我都在这儿工作这么长时间了
Your father used to bring you here to visit your uncle
你爸爸以前会带你来看你的叔叔
and you'd run around in those little green pants.
你穿着绿色的小裤衩到处跑
Yeah I'm sorry who assigned you to this desk
没错 抱歉 谁让你来这里的
John Meeks in Personnel.
人事部的约翰 米克斯
Aw you were so good on the yo yo.
啊 你以前可会玩溜溜球了
Are you still good on the yo yo
你现在还玩吗
I don't know.
我不知道
Carol Moskowitz
卡罗尔 莫斯科维兹
is one of the best secretaries we have here.
是公司里最好的助理之一
Good typist always has a smile for you
打字快 总是笑眯眯的
plus she makes a terrific cup of coffee.
而且还泡得一手好咖啡
We just thought this would be a good fit
鉴于你从小她就认识你
seeing as how she knew you when you were a boy.
我们觉得 她是做你助理的绝佳人选
So that's it Penny's gone Fired
所以 你们就让潘妮走了 把她炒了
She is not fired we simply
她没被炒 我们只是
moved her to the billing department.
把她调到了财务部
You simply moved You know
你们只是调动了 你知道的
I'm a vice president here John.
我是这里的副会长 约翰
I should've been consulted.
你们应该征询我的意见
Have a say over who my secretary is.
谁做我的助理
Or when she's been moved to the billing department
或者我的助理什么时候被调去财务部 总得问问我吧
Sorry Joel. Out of my hands.
抱歉 乔尔 不是我决定的
This came from the top.
这是上面的意思
That's some entrance. Stay out of my life.
来势汹汹啊 别插手我的事
Aha I was right.
啊哈 我猜对了
I mean it. I wasn't sure at first.
我没开玩笑 开始我还不确定
I heard that name Penny Pann and I thought
听到那个名字 潘妮 潘恩 我就想
"Well that's a stupid name "
这名字也太蠢了吧
but I took a shot and I was right.
我猜就是她了 果然被我猜中了
That is my job. I love being right.
这是我的工作 猜对的感觉真好
My job my office
这是我的工作 我的办公室
I know I got you that job and that office.
我知道 你的工作和办公室都是我给的
That's beside the You were supposed to work
现在不是在说这 你本来该在这里
here with me but you didn't want to.
和我一起工作 但是你不愿意
Work was too hard here.
这里的工作太累了
Might get your suit dirty. That's not why and you know it.
会把你的衣服弄脏 你知道不是因为这个
Was I hurt Sure. But fuck me you're my son.
我伤心吗 肯定的 但你他妈的终究是我儿子
So I call my brother I say give him a job a good job
所以 我打电话给你叔叔请他给你份工作 一份体面的工作
not a bullshit job in a storeroom or as a clerk.
不要库房里的活 也不要做小职员
No getting bagels no running errands like a schlemiel.
还不能是端茶送水 跑腿打杂的小厮
No give him an office and a secretary named Penny Pann.
都不行 给他一间办公室 还有一个叫潘妮 潘恩的秘书
I did that for you.
全都是我给你的
And I did this for you also.
所以现在我也可以把她调走
Stay out of my life
滚出我的生活
All of this goes in that mouth
小家伙 要把这些都吃完
before you leave this seat young man.
才能离开桌子
Zelda I'll have eyes on him Miss Miriam.
泽尔达 我会看着他的 米丽亚姆小姐
Thank you Zelda.
谢谢 泽尔达
Everything smells delicious.
真香啊
Joel Sorry.
乔尔 对不起
I I didn't knock.
我 我没敲门
I just started to come in but then I
我直接就进来了 然后我
I didn't know if I should so I
我不知道该不该 所以我
closed it. So what's the verdict
又把门关上了 所以呢
In or out
进还是不进
In.
进
Living room's that way unless you forgot.
提醒你一下 起居室在那边
Going to get a jacket. Wasn't sure if you forgot.
我去换件外套 我怕你忘了
Been gone one day Midge. That long ha
我就离开了一天 米琪 还不够久 是吧
This is going really well. Yeah.
简直好极了 是啊
So I'm at work late it's stone quiet
那天我工作到很晚 四周一片寂静
and I hear a rustling noise from a button crate.
我听到装纽扣的箱子里有窸窸窣窣的声音
Have I told you this story Abe
我给你讲过这个吗 亚伯
Actually Moishe you haven't that I know of.
事实上 莫伊舍 我不记得你讲过
Good So I grab a pair of scissors
很好 然后我就抓起一把剪刀
I'm on my hands and knees crawling over to the crate
我手脚并用爬到箱子那里
I'm gonna surprise attack.
我打算来个突袭
I jump up and I rip the top off
我跳起来 一把把盖子掀掉
bare hands right off
徒手哦 一下就掀掉了
Two chickens jump out.
两只鸡从里面跳了出来
Live chickens
活蹦乱跳的鸡
They jumped in somewhere in Jersey
他们是在泽西岛的某地跳进来的
and took a ride across the Hudson
然后坐船渡过哈德孙河
Let me tell you I admired those boys.
我挺佩服那俩家伙的
And they were delicious.
而且它们真是美味
What what are those
这 这是什么
Gougères. French cheese puffs.
Gougères 法式奶酪泡芙
French food is salty. Is that on purpose
法国菜很咸 是故意的吗
Probably. Did you know
也许吧 你知道吗
a lot of French women aren't married
许多法国女人嫁不出去
Because they're always going topless on their beaches.
因为她们总是在沙滩上裸着上身
Men see if for free they're not gonna propose.
男人可以免费看光她们 就不会向她们求婚了
You know what I just realized
你知道我刚想到什么了吗
We never do these things at your house Abe.
我们从没在你们家用过晚餐 亚伯
Our place is bigger
我们家更宽敞
Moishe more entertaining space.
莫伊舍 接待客人更方便
Sorry I'm late everybody.
抱歉 诸位 我来晚了
Joel. Thank God.
乔尔 谢天谢地 你终于来了
Hello Mom.
你好 妈
Hello Rose. Abe.
你好 罗斯 亚伯
Hello Joel.
你好 乔尔
Somebody's sending a message Shirley.
有人在使眼色 雪莉
What message What are you talking about
什么眼色 你说什么呢
Ethan wanted to say good night.
伊森想跟大家说晚安
Daddy. Hey pal.
爸爸 嘿 小家伙
Get over here.
过来
You got your new pajamas on
穿了新睡衣
Looks good it looks good. Go say hi to Grandma okay
不错 真好看 去给奶奶打招呼 好吗
Yeah. Grandma. Come here Ethan.
耶 奶奶 过来 伊森
You are such a precious boy.
真是个乖宝宝
All right come on come to Grandpa.
好了 过来 到爷爷这来
No I don't want him to go.
不 我不想让他走
This might have to last me for a long long while.
下次抱他可能要等到猴年马月了
You miss the Dodgers
你想道奇队（美国加州洛杉矶的一支职棒大联盟球队）了吗
You know they left because of you right
你知道吗 因为你他们离开了
Moishe. They left because
莫伊舍 他们离开是因为
you never went to a game and they said
你从不去看比赛 他们说
when the hell is Ethan coming to a game
伊森到底什么时候才来看比赛
Shirley Do you need something
雪莉 你需要什么东西吗
Thank goodness
我的天
There he goes.
又跑了
You know my strongest memory of Joel is him running away from us
你知道 我对乔尔印象最深的就是他穿着绿色的小裤衩
in his little green pants.
从我们身边跑开
How are you doing Miriam
你还好吗 米里亚姆
I'm doing fine.
我很好
If you ever need anything Shirley and I are here for you.
如果你有什么需要 尽管跟我和雪莉说
I appreciate that.
谢谢
You know when my sister's husband died young
你知道吗 我妹夫死得早
she started volunteering at the old ladies nursing home
我妹妹就去养老院当志愿者
reading stories teaching cha cha classes
为老太太读故事 教她们跳恰恰舞
things like that.
诸如此类
Helped her get through the long lonely days
借以消磨漫长孤寂的白天
and at night jigsaw puzzles portraits
晚上 她就玩拼图 画画
basket of puppies was a big one.
她最喜欢画的是篮子里的小狗
Could you excuse me just a minute
请允许我离开一下
Can I see you in the bedroom a minute
你能跟我来卧室一趟吗
I just don't understand
我就不懂
why you didn't ask me to bring something.
为什么你不叫我带点东西过来呢
Because you're a guest Shirley.
因为你是客人 雪莉
I don't even know what this is.
我都不知道这是什么
I'll make soup. Soup we understand.
我来做汤 汤我会做
Shirley you're a guest. You're our guest.
雪莉 你是客人 你是我们的客人
You're a guest.
你是客人
What is that Chicken soup.
这是什么 鸡汤
Where did that come from
从哪儿来的
I put it in the freezer last time I was here.
我上次来的时候放冰箱里的
Do you have any matzo meal
你们有逾越节薄饼吗
Never mind I have some in my purse.
算了 我包里有
I think I brought some
我记得我带了些
Stop there.
就站那儿吧
I am not a violent man Joel.
我不是个暴力的人 乔尔
But if I were I would take you upstairs to my apartment
不然的话 我就会把你带上楼
and throw you out the window.
把你从我的窗户扔出去
Do you know why I'm not throwing you out this window
知道为什么我不把你从这个窗户扔出去吗
No. Because my window
不知道 因为我的窗户所在的楼层更高
is on a higher floor and I want to make sure it sticks.
我想确保能摔死你
Abe No.
亚伯 别
You do not call me Abe.
别叫我亚伯
What do I call you Nothing.
那叫你什么 什么也别叫
You call me nothing.
什么也别叫
You don't talk to me or look at me.
不要跟我说话 也别看我
If you see me on the street you will cross the street
如果你在街上看到我 就马上穿到街对面去
whether or not there is a crosswalk present.
不管有没有人行道
Your pedestrian safety is of no importance to me anymore.
你走路安不安全再也不关我的事
I You what You're sorry
我 你怎么 你很抱歉
You didn't mean to do what you did It just happened
你不是故意的 事情就那样发生了
You have children Joel.
你们还有孩子 乔尔
You made promises. I know.
你发过誓的 我知道
You stupid stupid boy.
你这个傻小子
Where are you going to find a girl like Miriam again
你上哪儿再找像米里亚姆这么好的姑娘啊
Dinner's ready Papa.
晚饭好了 爸爸
Can I help you with that
需要我帮忙吗
I've got it.
我可以的
You look really beautiful tonight.
你今晚很漂亮
Well I've got an armful of meat.
我还端着一盘肉呢
Yeah that can't hurt.
是啊 无伤大雅
We should probably figure out some logistics.
我们可能要好好商量下后续的事情
Logistics
后续
You have things here. Clothes.
这儿还有你的东西 衣服什么的
I can pack them all up for you if you'd like.
如果你需要 我可以都给你打包
Okay
好吧
Can I come by and see the kids sometimes
我可以时常来看看孩子吗
I'll take 'em out so I'm not here.
我会把他们带出去玩的
Of course. You're their dad.
当然 你是他们的爸爸
They love you. We'll figure something out.
他们爱你 我们会处理好的
We're sitting down Shirley. I know.
我们该入座了 雪莉 我知道
I just wanted to do one more thing
我只是想再做一件事
You've done so much already.
你做的已经够多了
Dinner everyone. Move.
开饭了 各位 来吧
Abe I know this is your gathering
亚伯 我知道你才是这次聚会的主人
but I'd like to take a moment to talk about family.
但我想占用几分钟说说家事儿
Terrific. I know we're going through
很好 我知道我们正在经历
a rough rough time and I just want to
一段艰难的时光 我只是想
thank everyone for coming together tonight.
谢谢各位今晚的到来
Do you smell something burning Because by coming together
你闻到烧焦的味道了吗 因为在这样困难的时期
under these trying circumstances
我们聚在一起
we're showing future generations
向下一代展示
your Ethans your Esthers that in times of hardships
包括你的伊森和埃丝特 在这种艰难的时刻
self sacrifice is often necessary.
自我牺牲是必不可少的
Like the sacrifice I made pulling 13 Jews out of Germany
就像1943年 我从德国解救十三个犹太人时
in 1943. Here we go.
所做的牺牲一样 又开始了
I got that call I didn't know who these people were
我接到一通电话 我并不知道他们是谁
I didn't know how to do it I just knew there were
我也不知道怎么办 我只知道有十三个犹太人
13 Jews that wanted out of Germany
想要逃离德国
and I was the man to get them out.
而我就是帮助他们出逃的那个人
At great cost. What I paid per head.
我付出了很大代价 为每个人都花了一笔钱
Okay time to eat. Anyhow
好了 可以开始吃饭了 尽管如此
the other day sitting in temple
前几天 我坐在圣殿时
looking at all the empty seats next to us
看着我们旁边的那些空椅子
seats we paid for as a family
那是我们还是一家人时买的位置
I was filled with great sadness.
我陷入了深深的悲伤
Something wrong Abe
有什么问题吗 亚伯
Seats I paid for actually.
实际上 钱是我付的
You were going to pay me back
你本来是要还我的
So it's about money.
所以就是因为钱吗
I didn't realize you were hurting.
我没想到你会为此难受
I'm not hurting.
我没有难受
I'm just saying we had an agreement.
我只是说我们之前说好了的
Well you seem to have a nice life
好吧 你看起来生活很幸福
you've got your lovely home
你有一个温馨的家
you've got your servant here.
有一个仆人
Zelda is not a servant she's an employee.
塞尔达不是仆人 她只是个员工
She's family. Family too.
她是家人 对 她也是家人
And well paid with vacation time.
而且收入不错 也有假期
She went to Holland last year.
去年她还去了荷兰
Iceland. Iceland. Better than Holland.
冰岛 冰岛 比荷兰还好
In ancient times we were the slaves.
在过去 我们也是奴隶
We don't own slaves. I don't own her
我们不拥有奴隶 我没有拥有她
Can we all just calm down eat some soup
我们能不能冷静一下 喝点汤
This is ridiculous Are we really just going to
荒谬 我们难道都要坐在这儿
sit here and pretend everyone's having a nice evening
假装享受这个夜晚吗
We're not having a nice evening.
我们并没有很享受这个晚上
Fine then I'll say it. The separation
好 那我就直说了 这个分手
this ridiculous breakup it's not going to happen.
荒谬的分手 是不可能的
This is not the place to have this conversation.
这不是谈这个话题的场合
No one's talking to you.
没人在跟你说话
What are you gonna do about it Abe
亚伯 你准备怎么办
Going to let Miriam here just suddenly drift along
难道要让米利亚姆失去丈夫的保护
without a husband to protect her
孤苦无依吗
She's gonna do what with her life
她要怎么度过自己的人生
Sit around all day long eating bon bons
整天坐在那里吃着糖果
watching Queen For A Day.
看着 女王的一天
Is that what you want for her Of course not
那就如了你的意吗 当然不是
That's what's gonna happen. It's not
但是那马上就会成为现实了 不会
Is too I'm going back to school
会 我准备回学校
What School
什么 学校
Everybody please just calm down calm down.
拜托大家 冷静下来 冷静
All this anger and emotion is pointless.
愤怒和意气用事都是毫无意义的
The leaves said that the separation will not happen.
茶叶表明了他俩不会分手的
It's all going to end in peace and happiness.
所有一切都会和平幸福地结束
Can I see you two in the bedroom a minute
麻烦你们两个跟我来一下卧室
You swore to me you wouldn't see that crackpot anymore.
你向我发过誓不再见那个疯子
Drina's a friend and she's very gifted.
迪娜是我的朋友 她很有天赋
She reads sediment. And you
她解读茶叶渣 还有你
I told you to go get him back.
我告诉过你让他回心转意
What
什么
I told you to fix your face
我跟你说了让你化好妆
put on a nice dress and get him back.
穿个漂亮裙子 让他回心转意
What happened I
到底发生了什么 我
You forgot how to fix your face
你忘了怎么化妆吗
You couldn't find a dress No.
还是找不到裙子 不是
Then what I don't want him here
那是什么 如果他不想回来的话
if he doesn't want to be here.
我也不想他回来
Of course you do.
你当然想
You want him here no matter what
你想让他回来
he thinks or feels or wants.
无论他有什么想法或是感受
No. Miriam
不 米里亚姆
because of you we are stuck in this house with that man
因为你 我们不得不和那个男人待在一起
and his bloviating and speeches.
听他的长篇大论
And I have to say if he talks about getting
我不得不说 如果他再提一次
those 13 Jews out of Germany one more time
关于帮助那十三个犹太人逃出德国的事
Abe He brought them here
亚伯 他把他们带过来
and stuck them in his factory.
然后关在自己的工厂里
They're all working there.
让他们在那儿工作
Is he paying these poor people
他有给那些可怜的人工钱吗
Are there toilets for them I've seen their faces.
有供他们使用的卫生间吗 我见过他们
I can't be sure of this but one of them has a look like
我不是很确定 但是他们中一定有人会想
"I should have taken my chances back in Germany."
我应该回德国碰碰运气
Papa.
爸爸
He's a pompous ass I said it.
他真是个自大的混蛋 我就这么说了
Did you hear that Is that the fridge
你们听到了吗 是冰箱的声音吗
God she's going after the dessert.
天呐 她在找甜点了
Shirley
雪莉
Are you really going back to school
你真的准备回学校吗
No.
不
What are you gonna do
你准备怎么办
I don't know.
我不知道
What's this for
这是什么意思
I don't know.
我也不知道
Where we gonna go
我们去哪儿
I don't care the street what do I care
我不在乎 大街上 我还在乎什么
God. Aw you're bluffing.
天呐 哦 你在吓唬我
I'm not bluffing.
我没有吓唬你
This is not a bluff you want to call.
这不是你想的那样
I'm doing nothing.
我什么也没做
This is all you my boy.
这全怪你 孩子
Are you crazy It was a wedding gift.
你疯了吗 这是结婚礼物
What was a wedding gift
什么是结婚礼物
A wedding gift to a married couple.
这是给结婚夫妻的礼物
A gift for you and Miriam.
给你和米里亚姆的
You say there's no longer a couple
你说你们两个不是夫妻了
Fine I'll take it back.
好啊 我收回这个礼物
The apartment is in my name.
这个公寓在我名下
I can do what I want with it.
我想怎样就怎样
He owns your apartment Why would you do this
你们的公寓在他名下 你为什么要这样做
You say you want me out of your life.
你说你想要我滚出你的生活
Okay I'm out of your life.
好啊 我这就滚出你的生活
But I'm taking the apartment with me.
但是我要带着公寓一起走
You're a real son of a bitch.
你真是个混蛋
Joel. It it's not true.
乔尔 这不是真的
Tell me it's not true.
告诉我这不是真的
You going back to school Miriam
你不是准备重回学校吗 米里亚姆
Take a business class.
读个商科吧
'Cause the boy here doesn't know
因为这个男人
his ass from his elbows. Hey hey we have neighbors.
屁都不懂 我说 我们还有邻居呢
He's fuckin' lousy with numbers.
他对数字一窍不通
You guys are broke. You're living hand to mouth.
你们破产了 你们只能勉强糊口
Joel buys you flowers they're from me.
乔尔给你买花 那都是我的钱
Joel You own nothing.
乔尔 你什么也没有
Your apartment is mine his job is his uncle's so mine.
你的公寓属于我 他的工作是他叔叔给的 也就是我的
He's provided nothing he's saved nothing.
他没出一分钱 也没存一分钱
Joel please talk.
乔尔 说话啊
You didn't tell her. Your wife she didn't know.
你没告诉她 你的妻子不知道这件事
Toddlers both of you. Okay get out of my house.
两个不懂事的孩子 行 滚出我的房子
You mean my house. I don't care whose house it is
你说的是我的房子 我不管是谁的
Get out if it Let's be clear about it
滚出去 我们要说清楚
Mosh get out of here I said get out both of you
莫西 滚出去 我说你们两个滚出去
Just stop Just take him out of here
住手 把他给我轰出去
The happy family. Shirley
快乐的家庭 雪莉
Wichita.
威奇托市
Wichita.
威奇托市
Wichita
威奇托市
Excuse me Miss. Ha
不好意思 小姐 哈
Clothed in mendacity Wichita.
披着虚伪的外衣 威奇托市
Dripping What the Come on.
滴 怎么 拜托
Ya zhivu v bolshom dome na kholm
Ya zhivu v bolshom dome na kholm.
That's Russian motherfucker
这是俄语 混蛋
And here we go.
又开始了
I was a Russian literature major
我学的是俄国文学
and that line was from a book
刚才那句来自一本书
or a poem I can't remember.
或者是一首诗 我记不住了
All I can remember is.
我只记得
Ya zhivu v bolshom dome na kholm
which means "I live in the large house on the hill."
意思是 我住在山上的大房子里
That's funny.
真好笑
That's really funny.
太好笑了
And the reason it's so funny is because
好笑的原因是
I used to live in the large house on the hill.
我曾经也住在山上的大房子里面
And now I live nowhere.
而现在 我无家可归了
As of an hour ago my address changed to "ahah".
一个小时以前 我的地址变成了"啊哈"
See
看吧
my life completely fell apart today
我的生活在今天彻底分崩离析了
and here's why.
原因是这样的
My father in law owns my house.
我的公寓在我公公的名下
And he took it back when his son left me.
他在他儿子抛弃我后把公寓收了回去
Actually that doesn't sound funny at all.
事实上 这件事听起来并不好笑
That sounds awful.
听起来 糟透了
Biblical right
非常糟糕 对吗
Like like it's Adam and Eve time
就像 就像人类始祖亚当和夏娃
and I marry Adam's son Cain.
我嫁给了亚当的儿子 该隐
We get a nice little place I think we're very happy
我们有了自己的房子 我认为我们很幸福
and then one day Cain leaves me for
然而有一天 该隐离开了我因为
I don't know his brother Abel
我不知道 他的弟弟亚伯
because there's only four fuckin' people
因为那时候就他妈只有四个人
on the planet at this point.
在这个地球上
And then Adam Adam takes my house
然后亚当 亚当收回了我们的房子
and tells me to do jigsaw puzzles.
然后让我去玩拼图游戏
God how did I not know it wasn't our house
天呐 我怎么不知道那房子不是我们的
How stupid am I I mean I never thought to ask
我怎么这么蠢 我的意思是 我从没想过问一下
"Hey in case you leave me for your secretary
我说 以防你和你的秘书私奔
what's the situation with our deed "
我们的房产契约是怎么写的
It's the bras right
是因为胸罩 对吧
It's the bras.
一定是因为胸罩
And the the girdles and the corsets
还有 还有紧身衣和束腹带
all designed to cut off the circulation to your brain
都设计的紧得像是要切断你的大脑血液循环
so you walk around on the verge of passing out
让你走在路上随时都有可能晕过去
and you look at your husband and he tells you things
然后你看着你的丈夫 他告诉你的事
and you just believe them.
你就都相信了
Like like when you're a little girl
就像 就像你还是小女孩的时候
and people say "The princess lived in a magic castle
人们都说 公主在魔法城堡里
for a hundred years."
住了一百年
"And then a prince climbed up the side
然后王子爬上来
slayed a dragon kissed her woke her up
杀死了一条龙 亲了公主 把她唤醒了
and they lived happily ever after."
然后他们过上了幸福的生活
And you think that's plausible.
而你认为 还蛮可信的
Couple of details are fuzzy
其中有些细节很模糊
but sure I'll buy that.
但是 我买账
Later you find out the prince's father owns the castle
之后 你发现 王子的父亲是这座城堡的主人
the prince's secretary knows shorthand
王子的秘书会速记
and Sleeping Beauty's screwed.
然后睡美人就被甩了
You've heard about the shorthand girls
你们听说过会速记的女孩吗
These are girls whose skill in life
她们所掌握的生活技能
is not writing full sentences.
就是不写完整的句子
Meanwhile I went to college to learn Russian.
而我 我在大学学习俄语
And speaking of vodka why don't they serve booze here
说到伏特加 这里为什么不提供酒呢
I need a drink.
我要喝酒
I need a stiff drink.
我要喝烈酒
I need a drink so stiff I could blow it.
我需要一杯足够烈的酒 让我能够搞砸一切
Sorry that's un ladylike.
对不起 这样不够淑女
You look offended.
你看起来受到了冒犯
I don't mean to offend the delicate.
我不是故意要冒犯娇弱的人
I I used to be delicate. I was delightful.
我过去也很娇弱 很讨人喜欢
I was a goddamn flower. I smelled like roses
我曾经是一朵鲜花 香如玫瑰
and sunshine shone out of my ass.
太阳照在我的屁股上
What
怎么了
I said sunshine.
我说的是阳光
Hey when you get home check the name on your deed.
我说 回家后 检查一下房产证的名字
You are kidding me.
开玩笑吧
I know I must seem a bit angry
我知道对于你们来说
and deranged to you all right now and I am.
我现在看起来又生气又神经错乱 对 我就是
I'll admit I would like to repeatedly kick
我承认 接下来几个小时里
every man in here in the balls
我想要踢遍
over the course of the next several hours.
这里每一个男人的蛋蛋
I won't though. I am still a lady.
然而我不会这样做 我还是个淑女
And a lady never kicks men repeatedly in the balls
一个淑女从来不会狂踢男人的蛋蛋
for longer than 20 30 minutes tops.
超过二三十分钟
Because then their girdles start to draw blood.
因为那之后她们的束腰带就会让血液不流通
All right all right.
好了 好了
I told you about the language. You know the drill.
我告诉过你要注意谈吐 你知道这里的规矩
Officer Peluso
佩卢索警官
Ladies and gentlemen Officer Peluso
女士们先生们 这是佩卢索警官
He arrested me just the other night.
就在前几天 他逮捕了我
Come down from there right now or I'm coming up there.
现在就从那里下来 不然我就上去了
Officer sorry I work alone.
警官 不好意思 我现在一个人上班
Now and apparently for the rest of my life.
很明显我的后半生也是这样
I'm gonna count to five. One
我数到五 一
That's the end of my show folks. Tune in next week
我的表演结束了 各位 下周请继续收听
when my grandmother steals my pearls and fucks my boyfriend.
我的祖母偷了我的珍珠 还上了我的男朋友
Five Let's go Peluso.
五 我们走 佩卢索
That's my client.
那是我的客户
We charge for pictures now.
现在开始 拍照要收费了