i put on a blue lace thong and bra
turned the camera to every angle to make
sure i didn't add any extra weight or
blubber
and posed away once i was satisfied with
the photos i clicked send
and thought to myself this isn't a big
deal is it
i mean it's just a brawn underwear pick
but oh boy
was i wrong this was the day my life
would be ruined
like any kid in junior high i found
myself fumbling on a dating app called
let's say
bic with it one of the most beautiful
girls i had ever seen in my life hit me
up
she had these gorgeous plump lips and
such
seductive charming eyes you could say
there was an instant attraction
i was black you see so for me being in a
biracial couple
really excited me
our online chats eventually became a
daily routine and
soon enough we had exchanged all our
personal dirty details
and it really didn't bother me that she
was three years older than me
because i was nearly 20. she always had
a way of sussing out how i felt
making sure if i was upset with
something that she was always there for
me
she made jokes out of everything and
could always put a smile on my face
we talked on bc through the end of my
junior year and into summer
we had created such a strong bond and
grown so close together that we felt
comfortable enough to send pictures well
she did
she sent me photos of herself in a bra
and panties
she didn't have the perfect body but wow
was her confidence attractive
she sent me pictures without any clothes
on and
very explicit videos i would always ask
myself
why she was so comfortable with me
especially since
her face was in quite a lot of the
videos
bic automatically deletes conversations
after 24 hours
but we still had the option to save
photos and videos
of course i never did i only ever saved
screenshots of some of the sweet things
she would say to me
but she was never satisfied with me just
responding to her images
she wanted me to send some photos too
even though i was extremely
uncomfortable doing it
she pressured me a lot by saying you're
beautiful
your body must be too and i eventually
fell for her praises and decided to send
her a photograph
i put on a blue lace thong and bra
turned the camera to every angle to make
sure i didn't add any extra weight or
blubber
and posed away once i was satisfied with
the photos i clicked
send and thought to myself this isn't a
big deal
is it i mean it's just a brawn underwear
pick
but days went on and she began asking
for more
guilting me into sending her stuff and
if i didn't send it
it meant i didn't care about her at all
eventually this behavior from her made
me grow distant
it made me feel uncomfortable
one fateful day i didn't respond sooner
to her because
i was in class it had only been 12 hours
and i had received almost
50 texts from her with the final ones
saying
oh you want to ignore me well i've
exposed you now
i was mortified i couldn't stop
panicking at the idea that strangers
might be seeing my private pictures
suddenly i got a facebook notification
on my phone from a girl called natalia
and she had all these private pictures
of me another classmate of mine also
messaged me
i found you on a dirty site i asked him
what's the website called i'm not
telling you
why would i ruin it for myself he said
so smugly
i couldn't even respond i felt so
blindsided
my close friends reported the videos and
pictures to facebook and many of them
inboxed natalya how cruel it was to post
my pictures and asked
why would she do something like that i
reported the pictures and videos to
facebook
and they did take them down but then 30
minutes later they'd be back
up i even called the police and told
them everything
they said to go to the precinct to file
a report it was
so embarrassing to explain and show the
pictures and videos
and one of the policemen that came to my
house made it even worse
i thought there was a crisis he said
there are people out there
actually hurt
after that i called 3-1-1 the city's
general number for complaints
and they kept sending me to different
people over the phone every time i got
transferred
my fate that anyone could stop this
faded more
finally i was sent to a support group
with other people going through the same
thing but i didn't need anyone to feel
sorry for me what i needed was for my
pictures to disappear from the internet
i searched online for help and called
number after number becoming more and
more desperate
i threw my phone then myself onto the
floor and started
crying relentlessly i felt my world was
over i went back on bike and
begged sarah to stop posting my pictures
she told me
to meet up with her at a park i brought
my best friend and her two sisters for
backup in case anything happened
we sat at the park for three hours but
sarah never showed up
so we left when i got home i got a
message from her calling me
a coward she also sent photos of my
sisters and me at the park
she'd been there watching us and that
creeped us out
so so much it was clear that she was
never gonna stop and that i couldn't
control anything
this nightmare is still going on a year
later it's
affected me in different ways i've
become more negative about my body and
even my facial features
i dislike my skin tone because when i
obsess about how this happened
i asked myself did this person pick on
me
because i'm black or was i just too
stupid
to notice she was playing me like a
grand piano
she built up my ego then messed it up
it's so frustrating not to know
anything i asked myself about everything
was this her plan before she hit me up
on bic who is she and
what was natalia's goal why is this
happening to me
i truly hope one day that i'll find a
solution to this and find my happiness
again
you