You're a fast mover. Fingers crossed, so you can keep your hands off!You and Kim?
Really could do with your help today, Chris.
Who are you talking to, you posh slag?
SCREAMING
She just seems so tortured, you know?
I don't know what the hell went on in that house this morning. There's not many men in here!
I thought you wanted something a bit different.
SHE MOUTHS
Be careful!
Car's in the garage, is it?
Thank you.
Yeah, someone else's.Morning.Hey!
You all right? I'm well, how are you?
Yeah, good.
Aw, look. Cute.Oh, don't. She never stops going on about him.
I think it's sweet. Yeah, you don't have to live with it.
"Lindsay, guess what Denzil said today. Don't you think Denzil's got lovely eyes?"
Lindsay, can Denzil come for tea tonight?
See what I mean? Well, can he or not?
Not.Aw, why?!Why? Cos I said so!
You're too young to be having boyfriends.
Ooh, that is cruel. You should let him.
Look, last thing I need is them two gazing at each other over macaroni.
It makes me want to vom.
You're not going to believe this, but I just saw Lindsay James smile.
You're right. I don't believe you. Morning, girls.
Morning.All right, Mr Mead? Morning, Lauren.
Ah! I love the way he says my name.
Someone's popular there.
Tell me about it.So, do anything special last night, Sir?
Not really, Amy.
Did you?Yeah, she dreamt about you!
Er, that's enough girls, thank you very much.Sorry, Miss.
Here we go.Thank you, Sir.
Josh, have you got a minute?
Morning, Sam.
This is for you.
Oh, I've heard of them, I think.
Yeah, forget your CDs, you can't beat a bit of vinyl.
Thanks. But I can't take it. Course you can.
Look, I really want to make a go of this.
I know I've not been around for you...No. I can't take it cos I have nothing to play it on.
I don't have any decks.
Right. Well, I've got a spare turntable at mine, I can drop it off at yours sometime.
How about tonight? You could come for tea.
Watch out for food poisoning.Oi!
So...?Maybe you should check with your mum first, I don't just want to pitch up.
I'll text her. She'll be cool.
She likes having you around, she likes you. Really likes you.
Yeah, all right, I get it.
See you tonight then, yeah?Yeah.
Why not?
Morning.Hi.
Have we lost Christopher? No, I sent him to circulate the new rota for the playground duty.
But we have got doughnuts.Sorry?
To share, in the spirit of the new entente cordiale.
Enjoy.OK.
In future I want thefull management team atevery meeting, please.
Absolutely, just didn't think we had much to discuss this morning.
Well, let's see, shall we?
Kim, have you got anything?
Er... No, no, nothing.
Max?
Mmm...nothing. Rachel?
Nothing, except the forms I needed Christopher to sign.
Well, if we're done,then I'd better get to this LEA meeting at 9.30.
Don't eat them all at once.
Erm... I'd better get going as well.
Rachel...
I have not mentioned to Max about...
you know, you knowing about us.
Fine.So I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything.
Well, I haven't.
But you probably should know that Max HAS told Christopher.
Right.
Still I'd rather it didn't go around the staffroom. You know what this place is like.
I don't mind, I just don't think Max would appreciate the gossip.I don't suppose he would, would he?
I really hope this isn't an issue between us.
Neither do I.
Good. Great.
That's sorted then! See you in a bit.
Can I have a bit of hush, please, guys?
Phil, you heard anything back from that comedy competition yet?
Nah. But it's early days yet.
I could never be a comedian. It'd scare me to death.
It's a doddle if you've got a good set.
Come on then, do a bit. What here?Yeah.
He don't really do jokes.No, it's more observational comedy, y'know witty asides and dry social satires.
He's good.Really good. Want to be my agent, then?
If I were, I'd be setting you up with gigs.Steady on.
Come on then, or are you chicken?
As if!
So you should do it.
Well, I'd love to. But I mean, it's not that easy, is it?
No-one's setting up any comedy clubs round here so until then I'll just have to keep my powder dry.
Oi, get your tongue back in your head!Shut up. She's well hot.
So ask her out.
You all right?
HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:Y-y-y-eah, you?
What was that? Your squeaky little gnome voice, yeah?Shut up!
Come on, Pauly!
That Paul Langley is such a waste of space.Yeah.
Oh, no. Mead. He won't leave me alone.
Ah, Vicky. Good. Coursework?
Thanking you.
Hang on. What's this?
What's it look like?Something that's been used as a beer mat. Right, I'll do it again.
Right...what's wrong? Don't know what you mean.
Yeah, thank you, Lindsay. You can go now.
It's just one bit of coursework. But it's not though, is it? Your whole attitude's been slipping.
I didn't even see you in class all last week.
Yeah, I wasn't well.
Look, look, I'm sorry. I'll sort it.
OK, but we need to have another go at this.
You see me at break, yeah? Look, I can't.
Right, OK. I'll be there.
Thanks.
So what's your mum cooking, then?
And that's got to do with you because...?Fine.
If you want her to cook something he's gonna to gag on...Go on then.
Things he doesn't like -
pizza, chips, pasta, oh, and curry, especially curry.
It brings him out in hives so I'd just stick to something plain and simple.Curry it is then.
Experiment on page 24. I need a volunteer, please.I'll do it.
Amy, come on up here. GROANING
Goggles and gloves.
Take the test tube and hold it over the flame.
What? Like this, Sir? No, no, no, careful.
She is such a slapper.
I wouldn't get too close to her, Sir. Smells like Amy's let one off.
Actually, Lauren, that's the sulphur you're smelling.
Careful, that's it. KNOCK AT DOOR
Mr Mead, can I have a word, please?
Yeah, go sit back down, Amy.
OK, I'll be two seconds.
Sorry to interrupt, but I missed you at the morning meeting.
Max wanted me to...I wanted you at the morning meeting, though.
And next time I'll be there. I'm sorry.
OK, risk assessments. I need your signature.
SHE WOLF WHISTLES, CHEERING
PHONE CAMERA CLICKS
Yeah, all right, thank you, girls.
They seem very jolly. Who said science can't be fun?
As long as it's the science they're amused by.There you are.
Thanks. I'll leave you to it. Right, where were we?
You were lighting Amy's fire, Sir! LAUGHTER
Come on.
If you just want to hang on here, I'll just go and get her, OK.
Rachel?
Mrs James's solicitor is here. She wants to talk to Lindsay.
Oh, great, that's good.That's good.
Is there a problem?No, no, no, I asked her to come in.
I want to make sure the girls are kept up to date with developments.
Oh, I just didn't know.I wasn't aware that I had toask permission.
No, of course you don't.
Good. Well, OK.
Alison, I'm Rachel Mason. Thank you so much for coming in.No problem.
I need to talk Lindsay through her statement anyway. How's she doing?
Hard to tellbecause she's not...
Right, I've been marking your vocab tests and you're still... Hey!
..Still seem to be getting into a bit of a lather regarding your genders.
You've got half your masculines down as feminine and half your feminines down as masculine.
Monsieur Denzil seems to have created an entirely new gender pronoun
which is somewhere down the middle.Bisexual that, innit?
LAUGHTER
That's from Miss Lipsett.
Aren't you going to read it? It might be important.Thank you, Karla. That will be all.
Can you get your work books out, please?
Keep it down!
I'm getting sick of this. I want to see her.
That's just not possible until after the trial, not with you being a witness.
Great, great, so I stick up for Mum and I don't get to see her,
or I don't bother and I can visit her while she rots! That's pretty much it.
Lindsay, what you've got to remember is that by giving evidence, you are helping your mum's case.
Yeah, at least she'll be coming home soon.
I have to tell you, you may have to prepare yourself for the worst.
What does that mean? You say your mum lashed out at your dad because he hit her.
Yeah, he was.But when your mum was examined after she was arrested she didn't have any injuries.
So? He was smart, he always hit her where it didn't show. There's no record of violence.
Your mum never sought treatment for any injuries... Surely that's not unusual?
It's not. But we're pleading provocation, we can't do that on hearsay.
You're saying I'm lying.I'm not, but when you're on the stand... I saw him do it! Hundreds of times!
But Emily didn't. In her statement after your father's death she says
your mum and dad were happy. What does it matter what she thinks? It's me who'll get called.
It matters because we are arguing that your mother killed your father because she reacted
to an imminent threat to her life. The prosecution are going to do everything to prove that isn't true.
Even if that means calling your little sister to testify.
If Emily goes in that witness box and repeats what
she said in her initial statement, your mum doesn't stand a chance.
So, what, you're saying she might not get off?
Not unless there's anything, anything else you can think of
that could explain what happened that day.
No, nothing.
Am I done?
Go on. I'll catch up with you.
What did Mason want?Don't matter.
Are you going to the Common Room? Can't. I've got to see Mead.
What? At break? He's helping me with coursework.
Ah, he can help me any time. He's fit!
Thought you were supposed to be good at science.I am.
How come Mead's making you do extra? Dunno.He wants to get me into Uni.
Yeah, well, just watch him. Oh, what? You think he fancies me?
Well, don't he?You've got some seriously weird ideas.
Mead's not like that. They're all like that.
I'm beginning to think everyone's right about you - just as batty as your mum.
Shut up about her, all right?! Oi, get off her!
What's going on?
It's all right. I'm fine. Cooler. Now.
Are you OK?Yeah. I think so.
I appreciate the help, but aren't you two missing your break?
Come on.
Vicky. Come in.
MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
I'll have that. Thank you.
Right, let's get started.
Rachel, Lindsay James.
She's in the cooler. What? I saw her half an hour ago!
She had Vicky McDonald up against the lockers.Thanks, Tom.
Can I just have a couple of words?
OK...
talk to me.
Lindsay?
I do understand that you're having a tough time at the moment.
That does not entitle you to take out your anger out on other student.
I cannot have violence in this school. Do you understand?
Sorry.
What happened? Were you upset about what the solicitor said?
I'm here to help. I'm on your side.
Don't push me away, Lindsay.
Right now, you're running out of allies
in the staffroom and the playground.
Anything else?
Take a bit of time to get yourself together...
then I want you to go back to class. And if in future, you feel like
lashing out again I want you to remove yourself from the situation and come to see me, OK?
Good. There, that's more like it.
Right, you get off to class, I'll print it up.Ah, thanks.
Oh, did you get chance to look at those prospectuses I gave you?
Yeah, they were good.
Do you want to try that again with a bit of enthusiasm?
It's just...these Unis. They're a bit far away, aren't they?
Last time I heard, you couldn't wait to get out of Rochdale.
Oh, I know. I still can't.
The brochures make it seem like it's coming really fast.
I've got so much stuff to do before I can go to Uni.
Hey, we're not even at the applying stage yet.
This time next year, you might have decided that you don't even want to do chemistry.
No, I do. The course looks great.
Well, let's concentrate on getting the grades, which means showing up at class and getting the work done.
There'll be plenty of time to worry about the practicalities when you get a definite offer.
S'pose. I'm sorry, Sir, but I've got to get going.
OK, see you later.
Ladies?We were wondering if we could have extra classes? Like her.
Erm....it's a bit different. Vicky's doing A-level.
We want to do A-Levels one day. We want to be chemists when we leave. Like selling make-up and tissues.
OK. Well, you prove to me that you're serious and I'll be delighted to give you all the help you need.Great!
You know that periodic table in the back of your books? Learn it.
What, all of it?Then we can talk.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Hello. Vicky McDonald's phone. 'Yeah, is she there?'
No, I'm sorry, she's not here at the minute. Can I take a message?
'Tell her she's late for work.'
Am I a genius or what?
Has anybody seen Vicky McDonald?
Lindsay?Missing her already?
Pardon?
She's not here. She'll have gone to work.Work? She should be in class.
Yeah, and so should I.
Hang on, d'you want to tell me what's going on?
Just what I said! You're not the only bloke who wants an eyeful of her.
'Fantasy Lounge?'
Sorry. Wrong number.
Did you get my note?Note...?
No, I don't think so. About needing the Year ten coursework by lunchtime?
Oh, the coursework, is that all you wanted?What else would it be?
Steph,if you want to talk about whathappened the other night...
No, no, no, I don't, why would I? Just as long as we're straight.
Absolutely.Well, I am!
Well, I know they've had you for re-training, but that's taking things a bit far, isn't it?
You see that's the difference between us, Grantly.
I take a lively interest in the educational issues of the day
where you contemplate the merits of real boobs over implants.
Each to their own.Haven't you got somewhere to be?Year ten IT for my sins. Are they real?
For God's sake, Grantly, I have absolutely no interest in womens' breasts!
What's up with her?!
If I told you that, Tom, I'd have to kill you.Be my guest. I've got Year Eights next.
Mr Michaels, can I havea quick word with Emily, please?Sure.
Have I done something wrong?
No, no, I just wantedto have a catch up. See how things are going.
Is everything OK at your auntie's house?
OK. I miss Mum. And Dad.
Yeah, you must.
And there's a trialcoming up, isn't there? Are you worried about that?
Suppose.
I think your sister is.
How do you think that she's coping?
It must be good having each other, huh?
You've got someone you can talk it through with.I haven't.
Not really.
Why not?
Lindsay won't let me talk about it. She always changes the subject.
She must mention it sometimes? No. Not ever. Not to anyone.
Not my aunt. Not my gran.
Sometimes I just want to talk about Dad, but she won't have it.
Why do you think that is?I dunno.
She's never even cried. It's like she hates him.
I don't get it.
He loved her.
Hiya, I'm looking for someone.
Vicky McDonald? I think she works here, behind the bar or something.
OK, well, can I speak to the manager?
He's not in yet. Do you want a drink while you wait?
A coke.
Shut up. Do you want Budgen coming over?!
You're just jealous cos your girlfriend fancies Mr Mead. Er, excuse me!
I do not. This was your idea!
What are you doing? Like we're going to tell you. Oh, like we're interested!
Right, shut down your compu...
ter. What's the point?
I need to get moving. I'll come back later, yeah?
Actually, can you give my card to your manager, ask him to give me a call?
Work or mobile. Whatever.
Vicky.
Vicky!
Open this door, Vicky, I need to speak to you.Oi!
Hang on, mate, get off me, get off me!
Vicky, I need to speak to you! Get off, I said.
I need to speak to that girl!
She knows me and I need to speak to her. Get off me!Out!
I need to speak to the girl in there.
Ah. Miss Mason.Oh, sorry. Grantly, not now...Fine.
If you're happy to have a member of staff laid open to ridicule for the delectation of any member
of the general public who happens to be in possession of an internet connection, hmm?
What?
I direct you to the school website.
A video posted under the Meet The Teachers section.
Hmm, Mr Mead.
Hey! Where do you think you're going? Didn't have you down as a perv. Is that what you lot do at lunchtime?
Nip out and get a quick dance. Don't you dare try and turn this onto me. I came here to find you!
What are you doing in there? Working, and what's your excuse?
Vicky, you're a kid. How'd you know where I was?
You've been through my phone!I'm glad I did. Why are you working here?
Because I like it.Come off it. It's good money.Is it worth it?
I don't do "extras".
You know what...
we're not going to have this conversation. I've got my car.
We'll see what Miss Mason has to say.What's it got to do with her? She's done worse!
Don't even go there. Move it.
What's she going to do?Miss Mason? First off, she'll start by letting the police know what's going on.
What's it got to do with them?
You're 16 years old working in a lap dancing bar!
Do you think it's legal? My Dad'll find out!
The world and its mother will find out if the papers get hold of it. So everyone at school will know?
I thought you had nothing to be ashamed of? Now come on.
Look, wait!
What will it take for you not to tell?Sorry?
I'll do anything. Anything you want. Whoa, what are you doing?
We're going to pretend that that didn't happen.
Now come on!
Erm, hydrogen.H.
L I.Lithium. K.Mr Mead about?
Potassium.Yep.Erm, no.
What are you two up to? Periodic table.Are you serious?
I'm impressed. Good to see you interested in your studies.
Mr Mead says if we learn it he'll give us private lessons.
Sorry, what?
You know like he gives them girls at lunchtime.
Come on.Right, A R.Argon.
Can you take that outside, please? Take it outside.
R B.R B... Robium.
You have got to help me out here! What's it got to do with us? You were the ones bigging me up!
You were banging on about social satire.You know as well as I do Ros is only remotely interested
in me because she thinks I'm some sort of comic genius!
That's the bit that you guys are supposed to disagree with me.
Yeah, you need to get some better gags, mate.
Right. Out.
You can't do this.Just watch me.
Don't say I didn't give you a chance.
You all right, girls?
Is that Mead's car?
You tell anyone about this, and I mean anyone,
then I'll tell them my side of the story.
What are you talking about? You've been after me for ages.
Lindsay was sayingthat to me before. She reckons that you fancy the pants off me.
I told her she was just being soft, but now I'm not so sure.
All those extra lessons you're giving me.
And then you just turning up at my work.That is ridiculous!
No-one's going to believe that. They'll have to.
There are lots of cameras in that club. They get everything.
Teachers sneaking in at lunchtime. Teachers perving on pupils.
And there's the pictures that I've got of us two.
What pictures?
Vicky!
Our secret, yeah?
Yeah, it's her son again.
Well, d'you know what time she'll be out of it?
I've already left a message saying to call me.
No, I'll sort it myself, thanks.
Where you off to?Dentist.
Rachel...I've been looking for you.You won't believe the morning I've had.
Well, I'm afraid it it's not about to get any better.
Now tell me, do you know anything about this?
MUSIC PLAYS
Is that me?It's bits of you.
Who did this? I don't know, but whoever it was has posted it on the school web-site.
What, hang on...
that could be any member of staff on that screen!Oh, don't be naive.
It's hardly likely anyone's going to devote that effort to a video of Grantly, is it?
What are you saying?You're young and attractive. You're going to get more than your fair share of attention.
It's your responsibility not to encourage that.I don't!
Well, that's not what I've been observing recently.What?
SHE SIGHS Look, you just...
You need to pull back from the kids a bit, you know, make sure they know the boundaries.
And next time you feel like running one-to-one sessions with pupils
outside of lesson times, I need it logged, in advance.
Look, I hope that you're not saying that my behaviour is inappropriate.
I'm saying...
that if someone makes an accusation I don't know whether I'll be in a position to defend you.
Is that clear?
Yes.
OK. I'm going to get that taken offline.
And I'll leave the rest up to you.
Is there something else?
No. Thank you.
All right, Mr Mead?
THEY GIGGLE
OK, books out, page 17.
Vicky...a word, please.
Outside.
We need to sort this out. It is sorted.
No. No, it's not.
I can't turn a blind eye to you working at that place.
I've told you. It's not a big deal.
How can you say that?
Laying aside the legal aspects, and the fact that you're skipping school to go there,
you need to look at what this job is doing to you.What?
Vicky...that stunt that you tried to pull in the alley.
The way you saw me, saw yourself, that's not normal.
That's not the way the world is.
Then you haven't lived much, have you?
You know, sometimes that's no bad thing.
You behave in a certain way, then men are going to treat you that way.
Are you listening to me?
Look, I'm just trying to help you here.Then keep your mouth shut. You'll be helping yourself an' all.
You just can't stop yourself, can you?
Hey, where's that going?Lady Bountiful's cashing in her assets.
Sorry. Needs must.
Now what am I supposed to do about me latte in the mornings?
Ooh, latte? That's a bit girly for you, isn't it, Steph?
I would have thought a big butch pint of lager would have been more your scene these days, eh?
Have you told him? About the other night?
Why not?
Look, Steph, I told you I was happy to talk about it.
I don't want to talk about it. I just want to forget about the whole thing!
What little I can remember of it.
Fine. But hiding your true self away from your colleagues isn't really the answer.
Look, do you want to know how I came out?
A friend of mine decided to tell my entire university year-group that I batted for the other side,
and I was mortified.
But it was actually great.
Because I could finally...
be myself.
So, that friend of mine,
she did me a favour.
And maybe...
..maybe I can do the same for you.
Used or mint?
Pardon?
This thing.
Well, has it been used?Yes, it has.
That's your answer, then.
Ooh. Did anyone ever tell you were a pedant?
Mint. Right, postage. Ah. What should I do?
Er, local pick-up only.
No, cos that'd be free. All right. A tenner, then.
Twenty pounds.
Right, let the bidding commence!
Don't work too hard.
Not much chance of that.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
It's Bolton's friend's party on Saturday if you're up for it.
I'm working on Saturday.
Right, well... it doesn't start till later, so...
I work till late.
BELL RINGS
So where do you work?Does it matter?Sorry, I was just asking. Just get off my case!
You know what? Forget it.
Vicky.
Lindsay, can I have a word, please?
Let's pop in here, shall we?
You not got anything else to do?
Not at the minute, no, I haven't.
I told you, I don't know anything else about what happened that day.
Well, actually, that isn't why I asked to see you,
but I have been wondering whether you'd like me to tell Emily
about the possibility of her being called up as a witness,
or would you rather tell her that yourself?
No-one's going to tell her, cos it's not going to happen!
That isn't what the solicitor thinks,
and I think Emily needs to be prepared for it.
So what did you want to see me about?
To tell you
that you can talk to me.
That you don't have to keep everything bottled up. Who says I am?
I spoke to Emily this morning.
She tells me you don't want to talk about your dad.
Now, I understand how hard it is to lose someone, even under normal circumstances,
but to shut down your feelings like this it just makes it harder for you.
I'm fine.
And it makes it harder for Emily too.
How?
Because she needs you, Lindsay,
she needs to know that you're there for her if she wants to talk about what happened or any...
I just think if you could be honest about your real feelings it'll be easier for you and Emily.Shut up!
What?Just shut up about her! I'm sick of it!
Emily this, Emily that! Don't you think I don't know what's best for my own sister!I didn't say that.
No, no, and don't you ever tell me how to look after her, because that is all I've ever done.
You don't know nothing about me or her or any of my family. You don't know crap!Lindsay!
Get off my case!
Hey, what's going on!
Keep her away from me! Lindsay, get back here!Rachel, leave it.I need to talk to her.
No, I said leave it.I know what I'm doing, Max!Yeah, well, how about you leave her alone?
How about you let me do my job?
What's that, winding up the students?Back off, Max!
SHE EXHALES DEEPLY
Are you all right?
Sorry.
About before, I sent you a text.
I know. I didn't get it. Mead had my phone.
Do you know what? I think you're right about him.
He does fancy me.
He's always around me, trying to touch me up and stuff.
Pervy or what?
Right, erm, I've got to go.
Yes, Denzil.Sir, I don't get this.
OK, let's have a look.
We don't know if it's... It's one of them two...
I thought it was that one. OK. All these are alkaline...
- Lindsay, shouldn't you be in class? - You go near my little sister, I swear I'll kill you.
What are you talking about? Get away from me, paedo!
What did you just say? Don't even try to deny it!
- Vicky told me. Get your kicks out of touching up kids, do you? - Whatever Vicky said, she is lying.
Where have I heard that before?
Lindsay, get back here right now!
You should be on that sex offenders' register! I haven't done anything wrong!
'Quite a few people have turned up.'
Are you dead excited? That's one word for it.
Listen, if I'm rubbish...
You won't be! You'll be brilliant. Come on, give 'em hell.
Ladies and gentlemen, the very funny Philip Ryan!
Thank you.
Thank you. Right, it's nice to see everyone.
Nice day for it. HE CHUCKLES
OK, comedy is what you came here for and comedy is exactly what you're going to get.So get on with it.
Thank you, Michaela.
OK, two cows in a field, one says to the other one, "Moo."
The other says, "Hey, I was going to say that." HE LAUGHS
Moo?
Ah. Have you seen Rachel?
What's it about? Not keeping secrets now, are we?
No, it's just, erm...I'm having a bit of bother with one of the kids.
And you're going to Rachel for advice about it?
It's Vicky McDonald. She's having a few problems at home.
This is a school, Chris, not a flaming counselling service.
Kids come here to get away from the crap that's going on at home.
Yeah, but it's not always that straightforward, is it?
You're even starting to sound like Rachel now. You're not going all touchy-feely on me, are you?
If you want to get ahead, don't take advice from Rachel Mason.
Goodnight, Joyce.
Goodnight, Mr Tyler.
Joyce, have we got a home address for Vicky McDonald?
Yes, we have.
Ask him round, say we're getting a curry in.
I can't afford a take-out, Sam, I've no money till the end of the week.
Then, tell him summat needs fixing and ask him to come round to do it.Like what?
Anything! The toilet doesn't flush. It just has to be an emergency.
Sam, what's this about?
He's going round to Josh's tonight and having tea with Josh and his mum.
Oh.
Right.
And you're OK with that, are you?
I don't keep Tom on a lead.
Well, maybe you should, or he's going to end up back with Josh's mum.
We have to do summat about this, Mum. We can't lose him. He's the best dad I've ever had.
Love, you know, there's an expression - if you love something, set it free.
That's rollocks, Mum. We have to fight this one!We can't.
You're home early.Sorry. I've just got to go and check on my sauce.
Have I come into the wrong house?
And while you're having a shower, scrub the bath, will you?
Right.
OK, two snowmen in a field, one says to the other one, "Can you smell carrots?"
Because of the...
OK, I've been Philip Ryan.
Thank you and good night. Call that a comedy? Sorry, Ros, but that was crap.
Hey, come on, don't... It's not her fault, it's mine.
I should told her that I'm about as funny as a fart in a lift.
LAUGHTER Things you do to get people to like you, eh?
I haven't got anything else going for me. There's a picture of my face in the hospital,
stops them from using the stomach pump. LAUGHTER
Yeah, I mean, I've never been much of a looker.
When I was a kid, I was that fat, fell over, cut me knee, gravy came out.
Bisto all down me leg, terrible.
Vicky?What are you doing here? Aren't you in enough trouble?
I just wanted to let you know I'll be reporting what happened to Miss Mason later today.You what?
I'm giving you a chance to tell your mum and dad, before you get a call from the school.No! You can't do!
I've told you, I'll tell Mason on you. I'll have Lindsay to back me up, you'll lose your job.
Yeah, and if I don't say anything I might as well not have a job.
Look, Vicky, even though I've been unbelievably stupid today, I still have a duty of care over you.
You what?You want to lie, you go ahead. But I have to tell the truth. I should have done it hours ago.
No, please, sir! Please, my dad can't know about this.
I don't reckon he'll be delighted. But once you tell him why you thought you needed the...I can't!
I need the money for him.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
OK, let me just say my piece and then I'll be off.
If you have any notions of dragging me out of the closet
or forcing me to join your ladies' rugby team or whatever, then park them, because I am straight as a bi.
As a die. Straight as a die.
I know.
What exactly do you think happened between us the other night, Steph?
Well, obviously I was a touch the worse for wear and you pounced.
You got the first bit right.
But I was in your bed!Mm, because you fell asleep and you started dribbling all over my new sofa.
So it was either shift you or get you to pay the dry-cleaning bill.
What, so we didn't actually do...No.
Oh, I can't tell you, I'm so relieved!
So I'm not actually a...
And you and me, we're fine?
Course we are.
And if you ever stay over at my house again, rest assured you will be perfectly safe.
I'm not into older women.
Older?
'Ey, you cheeky...
Your mum took the lot?
She would have took me an' all, but I wanted to stay at Waterloo Road.
Get my exams.
With you.
You can't tell my dad about the club. He'll be mortified.
He's shame-faced enough since Mum left.
How's he going to feel when he finds out how I've been paying the bills?
Well, where does he think the money's coming from?He thinks I'm working at a supermarket.
Well, what about him? Isn't he earning?He hasn't been for ages. He's got arthritis.
It's flared up since Mum left.
That's another reason I need the money. I need to pay for a carer for when I go to uni.
Vicky, does anyone know about this?
That you're looking after your dad? Social services, anyone?
No. Why would they?
Because there are benefits that you and your dad could be claiming.
No, we're not spongers. I can manage.By working in a strip club?
It pays well.
Well, it just seemed like the right idea at the time.And now?
It's when they try and...touch me.
When I'm dancing.
Their hands are dead sweaty.
I'll make some calls. I'll see what your dad's entitled to
and I'll see what support we can sort out for you as well.
You know what,
I should go. I shouldn't even be here.
I won't tell!Yeah, well, I will.
From now on I'm playing everything by the book.
For your sake as much as mine.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Hiya, come in.
All right?
Why on earth didn't you just come and talk to me about it?What?
Before or after you tore a strip off me for being too familiar with the pupils?
These last few weeks...
I've never enjoyed teaching more.
And for a couple of hours this afternoon I thought I was going to lose the lot.
I still could.
Look, I would totally understand if you want me to step down.
I don't think that's necessary.
But you did screw up.
You just can't blur the boundaries like that, Chris.I need to be able to rely on you.You can. Absolutely.
I'll call in Vicky and herfather first thing in the morning.We'll take it from there.That's great.
Thank you.Where are you going? Oh, sorry. I thought we were done.
No, we're not. I need to pick your brains about something. Max.
Oh. Right.
In the pub.
That was lovely. Thanks, Georgia.
Believe me, I didn't do a thing.
I'd have dressed up if I'd have known it was this posh.Mmm, me too.
Right, I'll clear away.
No, er, let me.
I've been sat here all night.
You don't have to try and impress him.I'm not.
I don't recall you going to this much effort for anyone else I've brought home.Well, they weren't my dad.
Right, shall we get this turntable set up, then?I've got homework.
No, come on, you can have a night off.Sorry.
Help yourselves to wine.
Night.Night.
Sorry, erm...I think someone's holding out for a happy ending.
Yeah? I hope you told him if we got together it'd be anything but.
Oof, don't worry, the last thing I want is you and your dreadful vinyl collection moving in here.
Talking of which...Oh, no!
Are you ready?
You know what, why don't you go ahead and I'll meet you there.
Are you sure you don't want me to stay?
No. I'll be all right. I'll see you in five minutes.
What's this? A sit-in?
Is that grass dry?
Tell me.
It weren't just my mum he was hurting.
It was me, too.
Started when I was 11.
When Mum was out.
He called it...
a game.
But it weren't. It...
It didn't feel right.
But I didn't know how to stop him.
Lindsay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.He told me not to tell Mum, cos she'd hate me.
He said she'd be jealous, because he loved me more than her.
It's all my fault.It is not your fault, don't you ever think that!
Yeah. It is.
It's OK.
Lindsay, it's going to be OK.
No.
It's not.
I love this.You always were a rebel without a cause.
Well, beats being an old hippy.
You used to reek of patchouli.
Yeah, it was white musk, actually. I don't recall you complaining.
Josh is going to be all right, isn't he? Me not being in his life all that time?
I don't want to rush him into anything.
You're not.
I just feel I should make up for lost time.
He's a great kid.
Well, why wouldn't he be?
Look at the genes.
My brains, your good looks.
I always knew we'd have a perfect baby.
All credit to you. You were right.
Do you really mean that?
You're glad that I got pregnant?
Well, if you'd have told me at the time I'd have probably had a heart attack...
..but now you've...
you've given me the opportunity to be a proper dad.
What isn't great about that?
To dodgy condoms.
To turkey basters.
What?
Oh, sorry, forget it, it was just a bad joke.
Well, if it is, I don't get it.
Well, like I said, it was bad, forget it.
Erm, look, just have another glass. Hold on, you can't let that one go.
Well, look, Tom, it was just a stupid comment.
Yeah, I know that, but what'd you mean by it?Well, nothing. So...
Why did you say it? Oh, look, who cares, you know?
The point is that we've got a great kid, does it really matter how it happened?Well, yeah. It does.
Until 20 seconds ago I had no idea me that a kitchen implement was involved in the equation!
Don't be so crude.Well, you started it! What are you saying?
I'm saying, I wanted your child. OK?
So shoot me!
What?
You...you stopped...
You used me. Look, Tom, get off your high horse.
It's not like I jumped you for sex! You wanted it as much as I did. Well, I didn't want a child!
Yeah, you don't always get what you want in life. Think about that next time you jump into bed with somebody!
I've got to get out of here.Look, don't go, don't make this into a big deal, cos it isn't.For who exactly?!
Does he know about this? No, and he mustn't know.
You swear to me you won't tell him. Imagine how it will make him feel.
Well, you should have thought about that 15 years ago!Look, don't go.
He needs a father. Don't take that away from him.
Oh, you've already done that all by yourself.
I think you need this.
Thanks.
I just did not see that coming.
I had absolutely no idea.
How could you?
So...what happens now?
I call the designated officer in the morning, I guess.
Lindsay's going to have to be interviewed.
Oh, Chris, there's going to be a medical examination.
As if she hasn't been through enough, eh?
And what abut Emily?
Was she...
It was just Lindsay as far as I can establish.
Oh, Chris,
Emily will be interviewed too, won't she, just to make sure?
What that's going to do to her I do not know. She absolutely worshipped her dad.
When all this comes out in the trial...Yeah, well, it certainly impacts on the case.
It does, doesn't it?
I just wish she'd felt she could talk to me sooner, you know, or that I'd sussed it out.
I missed all the signs.
We all did.
Chris, I think you should tell her.
No way. Max is my boss, remember?
What more do you need to know? She doesn't trust you to do your job.
I don't need you pushing your mother and me together. It's not going to happen, ever.
Hopewell's had it.
We are here...for the party! CHEERING
Whatever you think about Max, OK, it is serious between us.
I thought you said it was casual. Well, it's not. Not any more.
Your mother needs to tell you something.
Tom, please.He deserves to know, Georgia, so either you tell him or I do.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd