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KILL ME TENDER
BASED ON A TRUE STORY
Take that, you nasty whore! Tell me you love it!
I love it.
Say I have a huge cock! -Enormous, darling.
-You'd ride my cock to the grave! -All the way.
Look out! I'm gonna come!
Already?
Women just never get enough.
You rascal, you.
Wow. I'd better hurry up.
Next time come later. I don't want my mom to catch me.
My practice opens at nine,
you know that.
Anyway...
See you Wednesday.
Forget something?
Right, sorry.
-Haven't got all day. -Patience.
Sucker.
Say whatever you like, but...
I think it's a waste of money.
A satellite dish for your dad?
It would keep him occupied. Soccer, movies...
He's been so lonely since mom died.
It's only the installation. He'd pay the monthly.
That'd be the last straw. Having to pay his monthly soccertab.
Did that hurt, Mrs. Fernandez?
A bit.
My wife distracted me.
She's been on my case all week about the satellite dish.
She's a good daughter. She's right.
Poor Nestor must be so lonely.
Well, well. You're in on this? It's a conspiracy.
Come on, Oriol. You're young, you have money...
You can't take it to the grave with you.
He's a cheapskate.
It's in his blood, honey.
His father, bless his soul, was the same way.
A good man, yes. But a real cheapskate.
Here you are.
-Thank you. Good day. -See you tomorrow.
Okay, that's eveything.
A few buttons left.
I'll see to it next time.
-Very well. -Mr. Nestor...
I know it's bad timing, but...
I was thinking...
Don't take this the wrong way,
but your wife's no longer with us, bless hersoul,
and you could use
a little help around here.
I mean Maribel, you know?
A little discipline would do her good.
All she does is lie around all day. It's not her fault
there just aren't any jobs out there.
And people still remember what she did.
Please, don't cry.
I don't want her to end up like her sister.
She could help you with things, with customers...
You could even pay her under the counter.
Calm down, Pastora. Yes, I could use some help.
You won't regret this, Mr. Nestor. I promise.
I'll think it over and let you know.
Thank you.
Isn't that the girl who...?
That was years ago, Nuria. Give hera break.
Damn, Nestor.
Opening your business to a stranger like that...
might not be a good idea. Besides,
that girl has quite a reputation in town.
Howwould you know?
It's just random stuff I've heard.
I'd be doing her mom a favor. And I'd have company in the store.
Who could that be at this hour?
Surprise!
Movies around the clock, dad.
Filthy little slut.
What is she doing?
Good Lord!
Elisenda,
we never needed any of that raunchy stuff to be happy.
Daddy-O!
You should see a heart specialist, Nestor.
I'm a dentist.
You must knowsomething about it.
Well, we did cover a bit in second year...
Or was it third year?
Well, I can't find anything wrong.
But I don't know if swimming every day,
rain or shine, is the best thing for someone your age.
Of course it is.
Well, then.
Have you had any thrills in the last few days?
No, no.
Go on, get dressed.
I can't find anything wrong. You should see a specialist.
How's the satellite dish?
Mr. Nestor? I'm Maribel, Pastora's daughter.
Hello, beautiful.
My mom said you'd try me for a week.
Yes. Come in, come in.
It smells great in here.
-Yeah? -It sure does!
You're just used to it.
I smell milk, chocolate, cream... good things.
Do I need a robe? I'll work the counter, right?
You don't want me baking. You'd lose customers.
I'm a lousy cook. I can fry an egg, that's about it...
Is something wrong?
No, nothing. Make yourself at home.
I'll put some croissants in the oven.
Okay.
I'm so proud of you, Maribel.
You don't say. Why's that?
Mr. Nestor's very pleased with you. He told me so.
Imagine that. I thought you wouldn't last a day,
and it's been two weeks. Finally, a real job!
And what a job.
I do jack shit all day, selling buns to fat ladies.
Watch your language, Maribel.
You should be grateful he hired you.
And you should see the way the old man looks at me.
His eyes devour me.
His wife died recently. And he's not like that, I tell you.
They all are, mother. Wake up.
How can you be so naive at your age?
I'd rather be naive than have a filthy mind like you.
Besides, he treats you like a daughter...
That must be why he asked me to dinner tomorrow.
And he said to tell you just in case.
Poor man. He must be so lonely.
He's not so old, you know. All that swimming keeps him in shape.
He's a gentleman. Not like those boys...
Yeah? Well, he's all yours. I'm not going.
Don't stand him up, Maribel.
He probably needs someone to talk to.
And get his dick sucked.
Enough filthy talk!
I won't have dinner with that pervert!
I have other plans. I'm spending the weekend in Barcelona with Angela.
No you're not!
She's my sister!
You have no sister! I forbid you to see her, you hear me?
You don't like how she makes her living?
At least she gets paid! You want me to blow the old man for free!
Keep your hands to yourself, mother.
Dad beating you wasn't enough? Only his bad habits survived.
I'm sorry.
Shit!
Hello.
Sorry, men only.
-I'm Angela's sister. Ah, come in. She expecting you?
More or less.
She's with a client. She won't be long.
Have a seat.
Can I smoke?
It's your health.
Yeah.
Hurry up, Pipo. We haven't got all day.
Come on, the slave is waiting for his food.
Good boy.
Don't be rude, slave.
-Master hasn't given you permission. Sorry, master.
-Are you hungry? -Yes, master.
Go ahead.
Lick that plate clean.
-Mari? -Angie!
Hi, sis! What a surprise! Mom let you come?
No, she didn't. But here I am.
Well done.
-How about lunch? -Great!
-I'll get changed first. -Okay.
Loli, show my sister the facilities.
-What's he eating? -Dogshit.
-Yeah? -He loves it.
And I've seen much weirder.
Disgusting!
-It's so dark in here. -Not dark. Intimate.
Good God! What's he doing in there?
He loves his little cage. He's a nice guy, you know.
He's a bank manager.
My clients have important jobs.
They're used to givíng everyone orders. So they come to me
to obey, to be humiliated, to get their asses kicked.
Some are sleazy, I admit.
But most of them are harmless.
They eat their shit and leave.
That's right.
How are things with you?
Fine, I'm working in Mr. Nestor's patisserie. You remember him?
Yes, yes.
His wife died, so now he spends his time hitting on me.
Rich, wasn't he?
Mom says he's loaded.
Apparently he had some land and with the boom in tourism...
he sold to a hotel chain.
But he still rides around on a raggedy old scooter.
Sounds like a real catch. Probably hasn't spent a dime.
He's old.
He must be fifty or sixty.
Whatever, he's old.
Marry him, fuck him to death, and live like a queen.
With money and your looks you'll have no trouble meeting men.
By the way, I have a new boyfriend.
Yeah?
I'll show you.
Let's see.
Benito, Beni for short.
He's in the Legion?
No, he quit.
He's got his own company now. Debt collection. "The Debt Bunny."
Never heard of it?
No.
He hires guys to dress up like rabbits
and follow people who don't pay their debts
and humiliate them until they pay up.
-Does it work? -Most of them pay
after only 3 days with that bunny on their ass.
Though sometimes they don't care and other methods have to be used.
Shit, it's late. I have to get back. -Already?
-Let's have dinner with Beni tonight. 4kay.
-I'll tell him to bring a friend. -Great.
Ramon, the bill.
Give me a gin fizz.
Coming right up.
One gin fizz...
for Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy.
Sure you don't want some carrot juice?
Look, buddy. You've got your job, I've got mine. Don't bust my balls.
God!
Pretty smug, aren't you?
This bunny has manners.
You're a piece of shit.
Nice fucking career!
Hey, I've been a perfect gentleman. I'm discreet, I leave you alone.
So pay what you owe and you'll never see me again.
Four days with that damn rabbit on my tail.
I can't even have a drink in peace!
Remember the saying: "Peace comes at a price."
Look, fuckhead.
Stick your saying up your ass,
motherfucker!
Nobody insults my mother!
Jerk!
Jesus, Manolo. Look what they did to you.
I'm sick of it, Benito.
I can't take this job any more.
Who was it? No, don't tell me.
That bastard Boria Bustamante, right?
He kicked my balls so hard I saw stars.
That motherfucker. He doesn't know what trouble he's in.
Nobody touches my boys. Especially you, Manolito.
Especially you.
-Cocktail? -Sure.
Time for Phase Two.
I've been patient enough with that schmuck.
Let me do it.
I wouldn't advise it.
You have to get up at 5AM and wake up his whole neighborhood. It sucks.
Can't be any worse than dressing as a rabbit in public.
It's been a year, Beni. I deserve at least Phase Two.
Or even Phase Three: breaking the motherfucker's legs.
Manolo, Manolito, relax.
You're still all worked up.
You're not a thug, anmay.
You're a good guy.
What if you lost control and accidentally killed him?
I wouldn't want you in jail.
Come on. For old times' sake.
He really got to me.
Hey, Manolo...
When did you last...?
Last what?
Stick your dick in someone.
I don't remember.
Don't tell me it was before we got kicked out of the Legion...
That was two years ago!
Not that long.
With a little luck you might dip your wick tonight, kid.
I'm meeting Angela for dinner
and her siste's in town. I've seen photos. She's a rocket!
Dinner and ladies, on me.
Take off that suit,
go home, shower up and scrub your screwdriver.
You're in for a good time.
Promote me, Benito. I've spent a year in this suit.
In due time, Manolito. In due time.
And iron those ears!
What a guy!
I heard this place has great food.
You, boy! Bring beers!
And something to nibble!
What are you staring at?
Look, there they are.
Hi, sweetie.
-Beni, my sister. -Hi!
The sister-in-law! My friend, Manolo.
-Hello. -Hi, Manolo.
-Hello. -Hi.
"Hi"... Give her a kiss. She doesn't bite!
Or does she?
Go on.
Everyone have a seat.
Take a good look.
Sure you don't recognize me?
-I've never seen you before. -Earlier today, on Aribau St.
We made eye contact.
Maybe you did, but I didn't see you.
You saw me.
-What, you don't like it? -Too sweet.
You cringed when you ate it.
...a haiy naked guy with long ears?
A naked guy? I would have noticed.
Well, he wasn't exactly a guy.
This is food for sissies.
Beni, don't be a pig.
Manolito, give the bunny thing a rest.
What are you doing?
It's a carrot. rhe rabbit...
-You were the rabbit? -I was the rabbit.
I did see you!
You were the highlight of my day.
The highlight of my year.
I saw you and I forgot everything. I forgot I was dressed as a rabbit,
following some insolvent prick,
and I thought:
"my greatest desire in life
is to see her again."
And here you are.
What a sweet little bunny.
I won't be a bunny forever, you know.
I've convinced him to finally promote me.
It's like cops in the U.S.A.
They spend a fewyears
in uniform, walking a beat on the street
before they get to wear plain clothes. See what I mean?
The thing is, he thinks he's my dad.
He was my sergeant in the Legion.
The rabbit suit is to save me getting my ass kicked.
But it gets kicked anyway!
You should have seen him when he got to the office earlier!
No need to mention that.
His rabbit suit was torn to shit and his ears were mangled!
Imagine what his balls must look like!
Okay, drop it.
The guy he was following
kicked him in the balls so hard he could have spit them out!
I'm gonna get that fucker. He'll never mistreat anyone again.
Come on, man.
Manolo, he's joking.
I'll bring you his balls on a platter.
I'll gift wrap them for you. ro show you what I'm capable of.
You're all gonna see what I'm capable of.
Don't take it that way, Manolito.
He's fucking dead!
Go on, keep him in line.
Hey, who the hell called you?
Did I ask for this? What the fuck?
400 euros?
400 euros for a few measly shrimp?
What the fuck is this, the Ritz?
Sir, please pay the bill and leave.
And we'd appreciate it if you never returned.
What, is he your backup? Fucking faggot!
You don't know who I am. I'll kill you both, motherfuckers!
Shit, where's my gun?
Manolo!
Where are you going?
Look.
My wheels. You like it?
-Why the stripe? Starsky and Hutch.
What? Stucky who?
You don't know them?
It's my favorite TV show.
When I was little, my mom had to work so I watched TV in the bar every day.
They'd show Starsky and Hutch...
Go, Starsky! I'll cover you!
Boom, boom, motherfucker!
Now you, Hutch! Boom!
Two cops
who protected each other. But they weren't homos, they were...
Starsky and Hutch!
You're a wacko.
I'll show that sucker what the debt bunny's made of.
He thinks he can push people around?
He pushed the wrong guy.
Thanks, baby.
You're welcome.
Are you sure you wanna do this?
There's still time to turn back.
No way!
I'm feeling inspired tonight. You inspire me, baby.
Besides, these people have it coming.
And violence is the only language they understand.
That son of a bitch.
Watch this.
Wake up, asshole. Wake up.
Yes? Who is it?
Hey, buddy. It's me, the rabbit.
What?
That's right, the debt bunny.
Remember? The one you kicked in the nuts.
You son of a bitch?
You ain't nothing but a hound dog, cryin' all the time.
You ain't never caught a rabbit...
-You're a dead man! -I think he's awake.
I'll beat the sleep right out of him.
Let's go up.
Easy.
Check out the spread. -Wow!
Borja, what is it?
Did you get a discount for buying matching robes?
Who are you?
The debt bunny and a friend.
You must be the slut of the house.
-Try your mother, asshole. -What?
Please, darling. Try to stay calm.
Give me the club.
Give it here!
Borja, don't let them hurt me!
It's not about you, honey.
Keep your mouth shut and you'll be fine.
Here. Keep watch.
Just have a seat and enjoy
the show.
Bitch!
Slut.
Quite a lifestyle, Borja.
Is all this paid for?
I can pay you part of it now...
Can't pay your debts, but plenty for booze and whores, eh?
Listen.
Right hand on the table.
What?
-Put your right hand on the table! -I have the money.
That comes later.
First I'm gonna shatter your hand with your own golf club.
You've got it coming.
Maybe that'll teach you
to stop bouncing checks.
If you move your hand, I'll get upset
and my friend will shoot you. So watch out.
There's no need for this.
You should have thought of that before kicking me in the balls.
Careful, baby.
I said not to move your hand!
Are you jerking me off or what?
She might shoot you.
Son of a bitch.
That's more like it.
You stay there, bitch.
There, all finished. It hurt me more than it hurt you.
How about that money?
Get your pants off.
Come on, Manolo. I'll miss my train.
Your train?
Taxis in Barcelona, imagine that!
It'll cost me a fortune.
Plenty to go around.
Here's your share. You were a great partner in crime.
I have to go.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'll miss you, too. But it's only a week, Manolito.
Manolo, sweetheart!
Hi, mom.
She's a nice girl.
I don't have a picture of her, but she's a knockout.
Really, mom. Gorgeous.
She lives in a town 40 km from Barcelona
and works in a patisserie.
The only problem is, it seems her boss
is a dirty old man and he's got his eye on her.
Manolito, son.
With everything you've learned in your job,
he shouldn't be too hard
for you to get rid of.
Since you mention my job, I have more good news.
I'm practically guaranteed a promotion. No more rabbit suit.
The other day I outdid myself with one of those jerks.
Are you okay?
I haven't taken any drugs in a while.
I'd better go to the ladies room.
Got anything for me?
Here, a gift.
Thanks, son.
How about it, Beni? More than you can shake a stick at!
Here's your gun.
A bit late.
Why the black eye?
Cut myself shaving.
Okay, Manolito.
The truth is, you've made it. You've earned your stripes.
Hand the rabbit suit down
to the next schmuck.
But don't blame me if you get in trouble.
Thanks, Beni.
We've tried everything on this clown.
Half a dozen rabbits,
we've woken his neighbors 20 times to let them know what a jerk he is,
we even threatened to kidnap his damn wife...
And the shithead hasn't paid a dime.
Son of a bitch!
He's a sack of shit.
Faggot!
Leave him to me.
Fuckhead!
-Did you have fun ín Barcelona? #Not bad.#
Of course, you did. You're young. Why have dinner with an old man?
Don't take it the wrong way. Besides, you're not so old.
Swimming every day
-keeps you in shape. -It does?
How old would you say I am?
I don't know.
Seventy?
Fifty-eight.
And in perfect shape.
Go on, joke about it. -I'm not. You're a real catch.
Then come over tonight. I'll play my Dean Martin records.
-Who's that? -The greatest singer of all time.
Though his fame was eclipsed by his friendship with Frank Sinatra.
Him I've heard of. The mafia guy.
Rumors. Like Dean Martin being an alcoholic.
Where do they get this stuff? People are so petty.
You're right.
Do your prefer meat or fish for dinner?
Don't get your hopes up. I said yes out of pity.
Mr. Nestor's a good man. He'd take great care of you.
Sure.
And of you.
Oh, stop it!
You look beautiful, Maribel.
That's a lovely dress.
That suit's pretty fancy.
Shiny, isn't it?
Yeah, it's sharkskin. An American invention.
Old-fashioned, but elegant.
It's cool.
My wife. Bless her soul.
Who's that?
Dean Martin.
It was a miracle. Mywife and I were in Barcelona,
going in the Sagrada Familia,
when we saw him.
My wife took the photo. Mr. Martin was so gracious.
They say Dean Martin never went to Barcelona. But here's the proof!
-Cocktail? -Sure.
Wait, I have a message for you...
God!
Police, buddy. You're in deep shit.
You're arresting me?
-Let's go, kid. -You got it backwards.
Move it.
He's the criminal! The guy with the pepper spray!
-You smoke a lot. -Gotta die of something.
My wife died of lung cancer, and she'd never smoked in her life.
It shows that life doesn't make sense.
That is pretty fucked up.
Some people smoke 3 packs a day and live till they're 90.
I'm gonna quit.
I heard what really sucks is menopause.
When you can have kids,
get periods... your body has natural defenses.
Then all of a sudden,
menopause and cancer. That's some scary shit.
You have such a way with words. My wife would blush if she heard you.
But she can't hear anything.
Lord have mercy!
You miss her a lot.
We spent a lifetime together.
This might be inappropriate, but...
She was the first woman I've ever been with.
The only one.
Does that sound silly?
No. It must be great to fall in love and have it last a lifetime.
Have you ever been in love?
With Ricky Martin. Maybe he's related to Dean Martin!
You have such a nice smile.
Such a pretty little girl.
Not so little, Mr. Nestor.
-Can I ask a favor of you? -Sure.
Would you sit on my lap? I'd like to...
give you a hug.
Like this?
How about a hug? Please.
What is it, Mr. Nestor?
I love you, Maribel.
I know it's absurd, but I can't help it.
I melt whenever I see you. I suffered while you were away.
What are you saying? You don't even know me.
Your wife died and you've discovered the world is full of women.
And you've fallen for me because I'm nearby.
No, that's not true. You're the one I love.
Okay. One quick blowjob to calm you down,
-then straight to bed. -It's not that, Maribel.
"It's not that"...
Just relax and enjoy.
Here we go.
It all started when my wife died. I was so lonely.
The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away.
-Then came the satellite dish. -The what?
The dish.
My daughter gave me one so I could watch TV on satellite.
You can't imagine the movies they show late at night.
Sex, Father. Raw and uncut.
-Nobody forces you to watch them. -I had insomnia.
There are other ways to treat insomnia. Tried rereading the Bible?
It couldn't do any harm.
And then she came along.
And so you gave in to your lust.
Your wife's still warm in the grave,
and you drool all over a girl half your age.
A girl who, I add, isn't exactly religious.
-She had a rough childhood. -I know.
Her father, God forgive him, was a swine.
He beat his wife and daughters. Poor creatures.
One working the street in Barcelona and the other...
What can be done about the other?
What do you mean?
You have two options, Nestor.
Be a dirty old man and pay her for sex,
or make a decent woman of her and save yourself from divine rage.
Which are you, Nestor?
A lecherous old pervert, or a gentleman?
Father... are you blessing our union?
-Have you thought about it? -There's nothing to think about.
I'm not marrying him. You see? This is what I get for being nice.
Give an inch, they take a mile. One dinner and...
Pow! A church wedding, till death do us part.
What will you do in Barcelona? Be a whore like your sister?
I'll do as I please!
I'm sick of this town. It's all gossip and bullshit.
Maribel, promise me you won't be a whore.
-Promise me. -Leave me alone, mother.
If you like Mr. Nestor so much, you marry him!
If he's so nice, why not marry a woman his age?
Because he's not looking for someone to watch TV with.
He wants what all men want.
This!
-Goddamnit. -Give me a smoke.
How was I supposed to know he had police protection?
He's got some fucking nerve, owing all that money.
Now that's fucking service! Paid for by my tax money!
Some junkie threw up next to me the whole night.
They treated me like a criminal. Bastards!
Look, Manolo. I warned you.
If you want, take back the rabbit suit.
No way.
Go home and rest. Tomorrow it's back to work.
Come on, cheer up. It's no big deal.
See you tomorrow. Bye.
Stud!
Nice boy?
Yes, he is.
Did you two screw?
What do you care?
-The old man has more cash. -Drop the old man.
Isn't that a bit hasty?
Look, Mari. Stay as long as you like,
start work tomorrow if you want.
But are you sure you'll like it?
It can be hard to stomach.
Getting paid to beat up perverts? I'll love it!
We'll see about that.
I manage pretty well, but sometimes...
I don't plan to do it forever.
And Beni can't be a thug his whole life.
-I have a plan. -What is it?
Beni doesn't know.
We'll save money, buy a hotel in the country and live in peace.
He'll run it, I'll do the cooking.
Maybe even have kids.
With the old man you wouldn't even need kids.
He has heart problems, right? You could be a rich widow in no time.
This spot looks pretty quiet.
Deserted.
Come on.
Okay, pigboy. Time for your walk.
Go on.
Move!
That's it.
I couldn't wait to see you.
Maribel.
Come, Manolo.
Oh my God!
Where am l?
They buried me alive!
Aren't there any other jobs?
It's no different from yours.
We both get paid to beat up people.
And it's much safer than yours. They even thank me for it after.
I don't even have to fuck them.
I can't spend my whole life pounding on people.
Or getting pounded on.
You know, I was talking to Benito
and he mentioned the hotel your sister plans to open.
He said he could probably offer me a job there.
As what? A waiter?
That would suck.
Why would it suck?
It's a peaceful life, like other people have.
I don't know what that's like, but I'm curious.
I'm tired of getting shit on since I was a kid.
My mom's a prostitute. And a junkie.
-What? -Nothing.
I never met my dad
and I stole cars when I was 13. I was a delinquent.
Thank God the Legion straightened me out.
Why did you quit?
Well, it was
sort of over this deal Benito and I had going.
Let's hear it, faggot!
Motherfucker!
-Where's the stuff, shithead? -Son of a bitch!
-I'll fill your ass with cous-cous! -I'll stick my bayonet up your ass!
But the Legion isn't what it used to be.
They throw you out for just about anything.
Nice tattoo.
What about it?
Hey, I love my mom, whore or not.
-Fine. But it's tacky. -Tacky? It's my mother.
I prefer tattoos that wash off.
That's for pussies.
A tattoo should hurt when you get it, and it should last forever.
Like feelings, you know?
Don't you love your mother?
Yeah, I guess so.
Then call her and tell her about me.
What is it with you
and mothers? Some sort of fixation?
-Mari. -What?
Would you like to someday have your own family?
You're always in such a hurry...
Let me up.
Motherly love. It's a classic.
Some people don't understand tattoos.
Mari...
You think your sister might be able to get my mom ajob?
I hate seeing her out on the street with all the weirdos.
Has she got AIDS?
I don't know. Maybe.
But she's clean. In her own way, at least.
-Ask your sister. -Okay.
-I'm off. -Mari.
The hardest part is knowing when to loosen the rope.
Sometimes they beg, but they really want it tighter.
Maribel! Maribel!
-_ow what? -Leave or I call the police.
Go ahead. I'm not leaving
until I see her. Maribel!
Maribel!
-Maribel! -Angie...
-What are you doing here? -Mr. Nestor, I had no idea.
Let's go. You don't belong here.
You're the one who doesn't belong. I'm not marrying you.
Thanks, but I have other plans.
So pull yourself together. Just go home and forget me, okay?
Forget you? I love you! I want to marry you!
Mr. Nestor, you're a bit old for this, aren't you?
Shut up. Whore!
Okay, that's it. You insult me in my home?
You mistake me for my mother. I'm not your maid. Get the fuck out.
Maribel.
You heard my sister.
I offer you marriage. An easy life.
And you'd rather work with perverts.
Slut!
Rough morning, eh?
I won't give up that easily.
You know what?
I can be the nicest guy around. But piss me off...
and I'll never back down!
Right.
WHOREHOUSE UPSTAIRS
He's lost his mind.
He'll get over it.
This building may appear respectable,
but it secretly shelters repugnant sleaze
and should be closed immediately!
Observe! Another pervert coming for a good ass-kicking!
Well? Have a nice time, scumbag?
You're scum! You should be ashamed of yourself!
Finally, the authorities arrive! It's about time.
What took you so long? Look up there.
There are the whores!
What...? Me? But why...?
Take your... I'm not the...
Good evening.
Yes, I know it's late.
Who am I? A responsible citizen!
Just calling to remind you that you have undesirable neighbors.
That's right, the whorehouse on the first floor.
You seem to have forgotten about the problem.
I'll call you every night at this hourto remind you. Good night!
Come on, Mr. Nestor. I'll buy you a drink.
Congratulations, Mr. Nestor. You did it.
They're going to evict us. Happy?
It's for your own good.
Some day you'll thank me for this. You left me no choice.
I love you.
Marry me. Cheer up an old man's last few years of life.
I won't last very long. I have a bad heart. Honestly.
And I'm very rich. Richer than people think.
I'll leave it all to you.
Just sell me a few years of your life. At a great price!
Won't your daughter have a will contest?
Let's see.
Go away!
"Contest the will", Maribel. Not "a will contest".
And it's impossible.
She'd have to prove I was insane when I signed the will. And I'm not!
I'm a man in love.
I'll take you...
I'll take you to Las Vegas for our honeymoon.
Dean Martin's dead, but if we're lucky...
maybe we can see Tony Bennet or Engelbert Humperdinck.
I know, it's not the same, but...
Mr. Nestor!
Marry him, fuck him to death and live like a queen.
You could be a rich widow in no time.
Long live the newlyweds!
-Maribel looks so beautiful. -They make a great couple.
Goddamnit, kick the shit out of them until they pay!
Mari!
Angela!
You look wonderful.
Hi, Beni.
-Congratulations! -Thank you.
Congratulations!
This isn't the end.
Shithead! Pay your bills!
This is what you get for not paying up!
Las Vegas!
I can't compete with that.
But she doesn't love him. She loves me, mom. Your Manolito.
I just have to be patient.
The old man's in bad shape. Maribel said he'll croak soon.
And when he does, I'm her safety net.
And we'll live like kings. You can move in with us.
It's about time you got off the street...
Mom!
Got anything for me?
-Who is it? -Yes, hello?
-Advertising. -Fuck off!
You fuck me so well, Manolo.
Look.
What do you think?
It's cool.
-"Loser." -"Loser."
What does it mean?
I have no idea. The tattoo guy said it's like...
"awesome"...
or like...
-I'm a big stud or something. -Right on.
Very nice.
Don't move.
We don't want you to cool down. Hey, at least I let you finish.
Who the fuck are you?
Anselmo Valdecantos, private investigator,
at your service.
These may interest you.
My favorite is the blowjob in the parking lot...
Raunchy, but hot nonetheless.
And who hired you?
Think with your head for once, darling.
Who would be interested in the pastrycook's inheritance?
-His daughter and son-in-law. -Good.
Yes, sir. very perceptive.
If they see these, you two get nothing.
So I was thinking perhaps...
you'd be interested in buying my silence.
Nothing. She behaved impeccably.
I followed her for weeks and I personally guarantee
she's fondle-free. Not what you wanted to hear, but...
it's the truth.
My fee...
This isn't the end.
Sure it is. We paid him a bundle.
Blackmailers never get enough. He'll be back.
Don't be pessimistic.
I missed you so much in Vegas.
Nobody spoke Spanish, so I could only talk to Nestor.
I'd wake up at midnight and think,
'Why am I here with this dirty old man
instead of next to my Manolo?".
Promise me that when he dies we'll take a trip together.
I want to travel, far away from this shitty town.
-Yes, my love. -And have fun.
Yes, my love.
We just have to be patient.
The old man has a bad heart, right?
So he says. My sister said sex would kill him, but he never gets enough.
I don't need to hear that part.
Are you jealous, Manolito?
Wanna hear how we do it? It might turn you on.
I don't wanna hear it.
I don't know if I can be as patient as you.
Sometimes I just want to get it over with.
Kill him, the blackmailer and anyone else in the way.
I'm sick of it, Manolo. I can't take any more.
How can you stand it?
You don't even give a damn. What kind ofa man are you?
It's not that.
The old man just won't die, Manolo.
He's healthier than ever. And I'm sick of him.
I'm sick of the lunches with his daughter and son-in-law
and I'm sick of my mother being happy all the time.
-The answer was clear from the start. -Which one?
Divorce him and marry me. I may not be rich, but...
We'll live on love, right? And the old man's cash?
For his daughter and son-in-law? My ass!
-I can't see any other way. -Well, I can.
Come on.
Let's go!
You were too quick to give up the rabbit suit.
Sure, now that you've roughed up a few people
you think you're bad-ass enough to knock off the baker.
It's not like he has much time left.
It would just be a little push.
Sure. And if you don't, Maribel drops you, right?
More or less.
Women are really something. Unbelievable.
Angela's coming on strong with the hotel thing...
A real pain in the ass, but...
at least I don't have to kill anyone.
So what happens if you get caught?
20 years in the joint isn't cheap.
Maribel says it's a sure thing.
He goes swimming alone every day at the same beach.
Forget it.
Save it, I don't want to know.
You're a big boy, you can handle yourself.
I can't help you. As you can see,
I'm just a businessman trying to play a little golf.
Which by the way,
really fucking sucks.
But Angela says I need exercise,
and not just any sport will do. It has to be "refined".
Well it may be refined, but it's boring as shit.
Goddamnit! Fuck the whole planet!
You missed it, Benito. It was an easy shot.
Because you distracted me. I can't fucking concentrate!
Going for your morning swim?
Yeah, keeps me in shape.
I'm gonna watch some TV.
They show good movies in the morning. The other day one with Dean Martin.
-Oh, yeah? Which one? -I don't remember.
But the guy in the movie didn't look at all like the guy in your photo.
Are you sure thatwasn'tjust some tourist you met, darling?
Don't start. Dean Martin was here
and I took a photo with him. End of story.
After the movie there was trivia with a phone number to call.
Dean Martin never set foot in Spain.
How about that?
Goodbye, Maribel.
Bye.
There was nothing we could do. Heart failure.
That guy tried to save him. He did what he could, but...
Thank you. I'm his daughter.
Thanks for trying.
My condolences.
-My husband. -Hello.
Excuse the question, but... Why were you at the beach?
Are you a swimmer as well?
I like the beach in winter.
Just sitting in the sand, thinking...
Right.
-Can I see him? -Come with me.
Such a tragedy!
HEART ATTACK ON THE BEACH
Well, well.
I don't think we should pay him.
If you had any balls, you'd take care of him.
We haven't heard the last of him.
Are you listening?
You want me to kill him?
It would be no great loss.
You know, Manolo... You're becoming a real chickenshit.
Nestor died on his own.
You even tried to save him! Giving him mouth to mouth...
Now this ierk comes along and you let him blackmail us.
Since it's not your money...
-It isn't exactly yours, either. -I earned it. With my cunt!
Yes?
Yes, what is it?
Is that your mother?
There, there.
Easy.
Sweetheart.
Come on, don't cry.
Poor woman.
Life really sucks.
I was thinking of having her move in with us.
But Manolo...
We don't even live together.
Poor mom.
She never had a real home.
Or a husband who loved her.
Manolo...
Move on and get over it.
That detective still needs seeing to.
You were right.
That swine has sucked us dry.
The bastard never gets enough.
He never gets enough of anything.
What do you mean by that?
Oh, nothing.
It's not important.
I've met my share of jerks like him.
Did he touch you?
I'm not going to tell you.
Why bring you more suffering?
What did he do to you?
He said there were various forms of payment.
Cash, or...
So I called him a pig
and told him I'd never let him touch me.
And then...
And then what?
He got me in his office...
held me at knifepoint and raped me.
He raped me, Manolo.
My love.
Don't worry, darling.
He'll pay for what he's done, I swear it.
Hey there, you almost missed me.
I was on my way to dinner. Tomorrow the price would have been higher.
Where's your poodle?
The money didn't satisfy you!
You had to go and screw her, too!
Back off, I didn't touch her.
A sleaze and a liar...
Did you plan to live off us forever?
Fucking my girl whenever you please?
She tricked you, man. She tricked you.
Don't you realize?
It's my turn now, but she'll get rid of you someday, too.
She's poison.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's over. Don't worry, it's over.
We'd better really love each other.
We're all we've got left.
I've never had anybody.
Don't say that, Mari.
Your parents must have loved you.
My father was a bastard.
He'd catch her every night.
He always had money for booze.
He always took it out on my mother.
And he molested us.
His own daughters.
One day I just snapped...
You see, Manolo?
You're not the only one who's had to kill someone.
TWO YEARS LATER
Look.
What do you think?
You know how I feel about cakes.
Your mom loves them.
You and mom get along so well. She really loves you.
More than me.
Don't say that.
Maybe you could
cut back a little on the scotch there.
There'll be plenty of drinks there.
That clown probably drinks rubbing alcohol.
Oriol's a nice guy.
He's a schmuck. And her...
She's so full of shit.
She likes you, though.
Can't stand the sight of me.
But you... I think she's got the hots for you.
Please...
How strange. You're new here and everyone loves you.
I've been here my whole life, and...
Let me tell you something.
This pastry stuff isn't as hard as I thought. time-consuming, but...
Yeah, whatever.
You're a wonderful pastrycook. You love your work.
That's why we're stuck in this damn town.
A lot of good the old man's money has done us.
Everyone has to settle down sometime.
My life's been hell, and now I have what I always wanted:
a good job, a nice home and a beautiful wife. All I need
is a family. You listening?
You see this dictionary?
Nestor used it to translate Dean Martin songs.
I saw a movie of his.
-Didn't look like that photo... -Never mind that.
Poor Nestor died thinking he'd met him.
So the other day I looked up "loser". Know what it means?
-Something cool? -Yeah.
"Loser."
"Failure. Wretch. Lowlife.
One who loses. Vanquished."
If I see that fucker from the tattoo parlor...
What would you do, Manolo? Beat him up?
The Manolo I once knew...
He'd have gone berserk.
You remember the night we met?
It was fantastic.
I imagined a lifetime of the same.
Adventure after adventure.
Life isn't like that, Maribel.
Life sucks.
How about getting a new car?
I like this one.
It's very good, son.
He's your son-in-law, not your son.
He's like a son to me.
You were lucky to find him.
Oh, right.
My life's been like an action movie since we met.
Lots of expensive trips, every year a new car...
Dreamy.
Maribel, please stop drinking.
At least your dad took me to Vegas.
And he wasn't much worse in bed than him.
What are you talking about?
'What are you talking about?".
Your husband never mentioned his little visits?
Monday and Wednesday. One thing's for sure,
the price was right. Cheapskate that he is.
Shut up, Maribel.
Is that true?
Of course not. She's drunk, just picking a fight.
Actually your dad was pretty good in bed.
Take this fool...
But you'd already know!
You said you were jogging.
You son of a bitch!
Take that, limpdick!
Let's go home.
I'm not going anywhere with you! Go on, mother.
Go help your son up.
Fuck you all!
Maribel!
Maribel?
Don't lie, Benito. She must be there.
We haven't seen her, Manolo.
She has no reason to come here.
Angela quit her job.
Remember what I said about the hotel? Well, we got it.
We're moving away in four days.
I have no idea, Manolo. I'll let you know if I hear anything.
Bye, Manolo.
-Hi, Jordi. -Hey, Manolo.
Can you tell me the balance?
There you go.
Thanks.
115? I just deposited 110! Is this a joke?
I'm afraid not.
Your wife cleaned out the account this morning. From Barcelona.
I brought you some eclairs.
It's about time.
Pastora!
Hi.
How are you, gorgeous?
Look at them! They're adorable.
Say hi, Manolito.
Say hi.
They're so sweet. They look just like you.
Don't they? That's what I said.
My Manolito's so handsome.
Isn't he?
Look how cute they are.
SOMEWHERE IN ENGLAND
Let's have some fun...
scumbag.
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