1 00:03:34,703 --> 00:03:37,604 Just straight through there and to the left, please. 2 00:03:57,058 --> 00:03:58,319 Okay. 3 00:04:05,532 --> 00:04:07,864 Would you like to... 4 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,687 Who's this? 5 00:04:28,455 --> 00:04:29,479 Pardon me? 6 00:04:30,157 --> 00:04:31,954 That's not my father. 7 00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:37,419 Oh, shit, we've taken the wrong one. 8 00:04:38,031 --> 00:04:40,659 Really sorry about that, sir. We'll go back and get him. 9 00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:41,995 Come on. 10 00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:50,470 Jesus. 11 00:05:16,336 --> 00:05:18,565 They brought the wrong coffin. 12 00:05:18,971 --> 00:05:20,495 You're joking. 13 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,668 Can you believe that? It's a good job I checked. 14 00:05:24,743 --> 00:05:27,871 Could have been having a service for some random member of the public. 15 00:05:27,946 --> 00:05:30,710 What kind of Mickey Mouse business are these people running, anyway? 16 00:05:30,782 --> 00:05:31,942 My God! 17 00:05:32,017 --> 00:05:34,884 There's just so much to worry about, you know. And Mum's in a state. 18 00:05:34,953 --> 00:05:37,639 Robert's clearly not gonna do anything to help, assuming he gets here at all. 19 00:05:37,689 --> 00:05:39,054 Plus, this eulogy's just awful. 20 00:05:39,424 --> 00:05:42,882 - I'm sure it's not awful, Daniel. - Yeah, it is. It is. 21 00:05:43,095 --> 00:05:45,347 Everyone's going to be thinking, "Why isn't Robert doing the eulogy? 22 00:05:45,397 --> 00:05:47,582 "He's such a great writer." Maybe I should just let him do it. 23 00:05:47,632 --> 00:05:50,726 You are every bit as good a writer as your brother, Daniel, if not better. 24 00:05:50,802 --> 00:05:53,703 You've just got to let somebody else read your novel. 25 00:05:53,772 --> 00:05:56,262 Yeah, everything's going to be okay. 26 00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:59,332 Once the funeral's over, we've just got to focus 27 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:03,073 on moving out of here and starting our own lives properly. 28 00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:10,211 You did call them, didn't you, Daniel? 29 00:06:10,888 --> 00:06:15,484 - You did put the deposit on the flat? - Yeah, I'll sort it out, I promise. 30 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:23,365 God, I hate funerals. Don't you? Really, they're just so depressing. 31 00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:25,925 I don't know, it's just the death and everything. 32 00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:29,837 Do you know what I mean? Do you agree, Justin? Justin? 33 00:06:29,907 --> 00:06:31,841 Yeah, they're all right. 34 00:06:31,909 --> 00:06:36,242 All right? Sorry, how could you possibly think that they're all right? 35 00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:39,679 Why are you even coming to this? Anyway, you don't even know Daniel. 36 00:06:39,749 --> 00:06:41,201 I do know Daniel. I met him a couple of times. 37 00:06:41,251 --> 00:06:43,185 A couple of times. But he's not a friend, is he? 38 00:06:43,253 --> 00:06:44,550 No, not a friend. 39 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,350 Sorry, if you're going to smoke, 40 00:06:46,423 --> 00:06:47,841 would you please put that out of the window? 41 00:06:47,891 --> 00:06:51,019 I'd really rather not get your cancer, thank you very much. 42 00:06:51,094 --> 00:06:54,086 I've got enough of my own problems to be worrying about. 43 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,563 Yeah? Like what? 44 00:06:55,632 --> 00:07:00,535 Like the discoloration on my wrist that I keep telling you about. Look at it. 45 00:07:01,104 --> 00:07:04,198 It's fucked. I'm fucked. 46 00:07:06,810 --> 00:07:08,835 Why are you even coming? 47 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,671 It's because of Martha, isn't it? 48 00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:16,347 Justin. 49 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,019 - Are you okay? - Not too bad, thanks, Martha. 50 00:07:23,559 --> 00:07:26,653 - I'm a bit nervous. - About seeing my dad? 51 00:07:26,728 --> 00:07:30,596 I just don't think I've ever been so openly hated by anyone before. 52 00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:33,760 He just hates everyone. You mustn't take it to heart. 53 00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:37,829 - You need to relax with him. - I can't help it. He puts me on edge. 54 00:07:37,906 --> 00:07:40,225 He's going to be more concerned that his sister's husband's just died. 55 00:07:40,275 --> 00:07:42,038 He's not going to be focused on you. 56 00:07:42,111 --> 00:07:46,138 Anyway, I'm sure when I tell him that we're getting married then, you know, 57 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,910 he'll start to learn to accept you. 58 00:07:47,983 --> 00:07:50,247 - You sure about that? - Of course. 59 00:07:50,319 --> 00:07:53,345 I don't really see Victor as the accepting type. 60 00:07:56,924 --> 00:08:01,293 We're on our way to a funeral, you wanker! Don't you have any respect? 61 00:08:03,564 --> 00:08:06,863 Okay. Calm down. It's all right, it's all right. Breathe. 62 00:08:07,368 --> 00:08:09,632 In through your nose, okay? 63 00:08:09,871 --> 00:08:11,498 Deep breaths. You all right? 64 00:08:11,572 --> 00:08:13,836 - Yeah. - Fucking tosser. 65 00:08:23,684 --> 00:08:25,242 Okay, I'm going to go down. 66 00:08:25,319 --> 00:08:27,138 Hopefully they've brought the right coffin this time. 67 00:08:27,188 --> 00:08:29,073 - I'll come with you. - No, it's okay. I can do it. 68 00:08:29,123 --> 00:08:31,803 Oh, no, I know you can. I'm just going to come check on the seating. 69 00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,883 Make sure there's enough room for Uncle Alfie. 70 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,588 Oh, shit. Shit! Shit! 71 00:08:38,565 --> 00:08:40,157 Hello? 72 00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:43,168 Hello, mate, how are you? All right? 73 00:08:43,236 --> 00:08:44,669 Yeah. 74 00:08:44,738 --> 00:08:47,707 Of course I remember Uncle Alfie. Yeah. 75 00:08:47,774 --> 00:08:51,210 Absolutely fine. Yeah, yeah. No, not a problem at all. 76 00:08:51,278 --> 00:08:55,180 No. Of course I don't mind. All right. 77 00:08:55,248 --> 00:08:58,217 Yeah, don't worry. All right. No, it's fine, I promise. 78 00:08:58,285 --> 00:09:00,879 All right, we'll see you soon. Okay, bye. 79 00:09:00,954 --> 00:09:02,148 Shit! 80 00:09:18,070 --> 00:09:20,368 So, is this your father, sir? 81 00:09:24,510 --> 00:09:26,102 Yes, it is, yes. 82 00:09:39,325 --> 00:09:41,316 Hey, Mum. You all right? 83 00:09:41,393 --> 00:09:44,089 I just don't know what I'm going to do without him. 84 00:09:44,163 --> 00:09:46,403 - What have I got to live for now? - Mum, don't be silly. 85 00:09:46,465 --> 00:09:50,697 You've got your friends, family. You've got me and Jane and Robert. 86 00:09:50,769 --> 00:09:52,221 Where is Robert? Have you heard from him? 87 00:09:52,271 --> 00:09:55,239 His plane was just landed at 10:00, but he'll be here, don't worry. 88 00:09:55,306 --> 00:09:57,797 Now, if there's anything I can do, Sandra. 89 00:09:57,875 --> 00:10:01,606 Don't put your hand there, dear. You'll leave smudge marks. 90 00:10:17,562 --> 00:10:20,463 All right. No, I'll get them to you this evening. 91 00:10:20,531 --> 00:10:23,500 No, no can do this afternoon. I've got a funeral. 92 00:10:23,568 --> 00:10:26,036 Yeah, my uncle died. Yeah, tragic. 93 00:10:26,104 --> 00:10:28,902 No, I'm telling you, mate, this is really powerful stuff. 94 00:10:28,973 --> 00:10:31,601 Yeah, you really only need to take half. 95 00:10:31,809 --> 00:10:34,242 No, trust me, they're going to blow your fucking head off. 96 00:10:35,479 --> 00:10:37,970 All right, I got to go. Sister's here. I'll take them with me 97 00:10:38,048 --> 00:10:41,506 and drop them by after the funeral. Okay, catch you later. Bye. 98 00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:56,899 Yeah, hang on. 99 00:11:02,673 --> 00:11:04,334 Hi. How's it going? 100 00:11:04,408 --> 00:11:06,059 Troy, you're not ready. Come on, we're gonna be late. 101 00:11:06,109 --> 00:11:09,203 Just need to put on my trousers and I'm done. You guys okay? 102 00:11:09,279 --> 00:11:11,598 Simon's a bit freaked out. We just had some arsehole driver 103 00:11:11,648 --> 00:11:13,888 - almost ram us off the road. - Really? Fucking bastards. 104 00:11:13,949 --> 00:11:17,009 Make yourselves comfy. I'll be two minutes. 105 00:11:17,086 --> 00:11:20,249 - What are these pills all over the place? - Troy's studying to be a pharmacist. 106 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:24,117 - Are you okay? - I'm a bit shaky. 107 00:11:24,827 --> 00:11:26,761 Not much, just a... 108 00:11:27,263 --> 00:11:28,662 Just a bit. 109 00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:31,961 Here, have one of these. 110 00:11:33,169 --> 00:11:36,070 - It'll calm you down. - Are you sure? 111 00:11:36,138 --> 00:11:40,165 Absolutely. It's just Valium. I used to take them all the time. 112 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,733 It'll make you feel better, honestly. 113 00:11:42,812 --> 00:11:44,575 Come on, open wide. 114 00:11:52,787 --> 00:11:54,049 Ready. 115 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,491 Thank you. 116 00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:07,831 Hello? 117 00:12:11,072 --> 00:12:13,540 - Hello? - Robert? 118 00:12:14,309 --> 00:12:15,606 Robert. 119 00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:18,074 - Hi, Mum. - Oh, darling. 120 00:12:18,146 --> 00:12:20,307 How are you, sweetheart? 121 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,418 - Hey. - Hey. 122 00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:26,716 - Hey, how are you doing? Yeah? - Okay. Okay. I'm okay. 123 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:29,484 - Okay. Hi. - Hi, Robert. 124 00:12:29,557 --> 00:12:31,157 - How are you? - Good. Good. How are you? 125 00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:32,886 - Great. - How was the flight? 126 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,312 Great. There was a lot of turbulence, which was a bit worrying. 127 00:12:35,362 --> 00:12:37,448 But, I mean, I guess that's the thing about first class. 128 00:12:37,498 --> 00:12:39,183 It doesn't matter how much you pay for the ticket, 129 00:12:39,233 --> 00:12:42,532 if the plane crashes, you're all gonna end up dead. 130 00:12:43,737 --> 00:12:44,999 Sorry. 131 00:12:45,773 --> 00:12:48,071 No, no, I'll... Don't worry. 132 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,443 Oh, shit. 133 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:07,884 That's him. 134 00:13:08,195 --> 00:13:11,527 Jesus, Howard, you didn't say he was going to be in a fucking wheelchair. 135 00:13:25,011 --> 00:13:29,004 Uncle Alfie. Hello. We're here to take you to the funeral. 136 00:13:29,081 --> 00:13:31,914 Where the fuck have you been? You're late. 137 00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:59,468 This is bloody grim, isn't it? 138 00:13:59,544 --> 00:14:03,139 - It's not supposed to be fun, Robert. - I know, but Jesus. 139 00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:06,609 I feel like my heart has been 140 00:14:07,052 --> 00:14:10,715 - wrenched out of my ribcage. It's awful. - Well, that's grief for you. 141 00:14:10,956 --> 00:14:13,041 This is why I prefer not to have close relationships with people. 142 00:14:13,091 --> 00:14:15,559 There's too much emotion involved. 143 00:14:18,497 --> 00:14:21,432 Well, I'm just glad that you're gonna be here with Mum. 144 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:25,095 Well, yeah. Well, not for long, 'cause Jane and I are moving out. 145 00:14:26,404 --> 00:14:30,362 - Well, what about Mum? - I was thinking maybe she'd like to 146 00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:33,603 come to New York with you for a bit. 147 00:14:34,245 --> 00:14:36,063 Well, don't be ridiculous. I can't take her to New York. 148 00:14:36,113 --> 00:14:37,998 What am I gonna do with her, take her to parties? 149 00:14:38,048 --> 00:14:40,573 But we've already decided. We're putting a deposit on a flat. 150 00:14:40,651 --> 00:14:42,016 And I'm gonna need the money. 151 00:14:42,086 --> 00:14:45,317 - What money? - The money for all this, for the funeral. 152 00:14:45,389 --> 00:14:47,084 You agreed to pay for half. 153 00:14:47,157 --> 00:14:48,852 - Did I? - Yeah. 154 00:14:49,593 --> 00:14:51,561 - Oh, right. - Yeah, so... 155 00:14:53,097 --> 00:14:55,088 Yeah, well, I don't have it on me, Daniel. 156 00:14:55,165 --> 00:14:57,656 I can get it to you in a few months. 157 00:14:57,735 --> 00:14:59,820 In a few months? Robert, I need it now. I need the money now. 158 00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:01,822 Yeah, well, that's not gonna happen, is it? 'Cause I'm totally skint. 159 00:15:01,872 --> 00:15:03,965 What do you mean you're skint? 160 00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:06,202 You're a successful novelist. You live in New York. 161 00:15:06,277 --> 00:15:08,295 You've got a penthouse apartment in New York. What do you mean? 162 00:15:08,345 --> 00:15:10,363 Yeah, and do you have any idea how much it costs for the upkeep? 163 00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:13,780 Besides which, I've just had to lay out a fortune for the flight over here. 164 00:15:13,850 --> 00:15:16,614 Do you know how much they're charging for first class nowadays? 165 00:15:16,686 --> 00:15:18,813 It's a fucking disgrace! 166 00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:24,226 - So, poor old Uncle Eddie, eh? - Yeah. 167 00:15:24,394 --> 00:15:25,486 Yes. 168 00:15:25,562 --> 00:15:28,224 Did you ever meet Uncle Eddie, Simon? 169 00:15:28,731 --> 00:15:30,028 Simon? 170 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:33,191 Was there a dog in here just now? 171 00:15:33,436 --> 00:15:34,733 What? 172 00:15:35,939 --> 00:15:38,567 I'm sure there was a dog in here. 173 00:15:38,775 --> 00:15:41,403 What the hell are you talking about? 174 00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:02,356 There's just nowhere to park. 175 00:16:03,031 --> 00:16:05,124 - This is ridiculous. - How about over there? 176 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,395 That guy's coming out over there. 177 00:16:07,469 --> 00:16:08,654 - Oh, right. - Take it, take it! 178 00:16:08,704 --> 00:16:09,966 All right! 179 00:16:10,038 --> 00:16:11,027 What are you doing? 180 00:16:12,975 --> 00:16:14,909 Are you mental? 181 00:16:18,714 --> 00:16:19,976 Sorry. 182 00:16:20,248 --> 00:16:22,876 Excuse me? Hi, sorry. Oh, hi, Martha. 183 00:16:22,951 --> 00:16:27,546 - I was just about to park there, actually. - Yeah, well, are you a relative, Howard? 184 00:16:27,622 --> 00:16:30,056 - No, I'm not, but... - Hey, Martha. 185 00:16:31,559 --> 00:16:32,958 Who's that? 186 00:16:41,836 --> 00:16:43,154 - What's happening? - Did you see that? 187 00:16:43,204 --> 00:16:44,398 She barely even looked at me. 188 00:16:44,472 --> 00:16:46,032 I said, what's happening? Are we there? 189 00:16:46,107 --> 00:16:48,200 Oh, my God, we've got Uncle Alfie in the car. 190 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:51,711 I cannot believe I forgot to say we've got Uncle Alfie in the car. 191 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,043 - All right! Keep your hair on! - What the hell's going on? 192 00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,118 She barely even looked. 193 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:11,693 It's very green here, isn't it? It's very... 194 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,358 - It's green! - Simon. 195 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,531 - What the hell is the matter with you? - What do you mean? 196 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:23,269 All this talking about phantom dogs and things being green. What's going on? 197 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,100 I don't know. 198 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,442 Wow! 199 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,352 Martha, 200 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:41,049 - is Simon normally like this? - Of course he's not normally like this. 201 00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,061 Something's not right. 202 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,826 Hello. 203 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,904 Oh, I think it must be the Valium. 204 00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,566 - Valium? - Yeah. 205 00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:00,843 I gave him a Valium from your flat. 206 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,381 I think he's just not used to it. 207 00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:05,514 Oh, right. 208 00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:11,585 Do you want to get any closer? 209 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:12,988 You're going the wrong way. 210 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,778 Stop the car, Howard. I need to speak to Martha. 211 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,046 - What? - I need to speak to her. 212 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,064 I need to speak to Martha. 213 00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:22,157 What about Alfie? I need help with Uncle Alfie. 214 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:25,294 - We're gonna be late! - Ow! Could you please stop doing that? 215 00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:36,603 Thank you very much for coming. It's lovely to see you. It won't be long. 216 00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:40,246 It's weird being back here. I feel so out of it. 217 00:18:40,318 --> 00:18:43,219 Well, it's because you're living in a different country, you lose touch. 218 00:18:43,287 --> 00:18:47,849 Who are these people, anyway? I don't even recognize any of them. 219 00:18:47,925 --> 00:18:50,257 Who the hell's that guy? 220 00:18:50,728 --> 00:18:53,081 I have no idea. It's probably a friend of Dad's from work or something. 221 00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:56,897 So listen, you're telling me that I have to pay for this entire funeral? 222 00:18:56,968 --> 00:19:01,496 - I can't draw money out of thin air, Daniel. - Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! 223 00:19:01,572 --> 00:19:05,235 - Daniel, how's everything going? - Fine, thanks, Reverend Davidson. 224 00:19:05,309 --> 00:19:07,494 We're just waiting for everyone to arrive, then we can get started. 225 00:19:07,544 --> 00:19:09,205 Great. Thank you. 226 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,974 - Have you met my brother Robert? - The writer, of course. 227 00:19:13,183 --> 00:19:16,584 It's a pleasure to meet you. I've read several of your novels. 228 00:19:16,653 --> 00:19:19,622 - Really? - You must be very proud of your brother. 229 00:19:19,689 --> 00:19:23,181 - Yes, very proud. - And will you be making the eulogy today? 230 00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:25,854 No, Daniel will be doing the eulogy. 231 00:19:27,130 --> 00:19:28,392 Great. 232 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:31,758 I'll just make sure I have everything I need. 233 00:19:35,672 --> 00:19:37,936 Listen, I think you should do the eulogy. 234 00:19:38,008 --> 00:19:40,627 Everyone's expecting you to do it, and I'll just make a mess of it, anyway. 235 00:19:40,677 --> 00:19:42,304 Don't be silly. You'll be... 236 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,871 You'll be fine. 237 00:19:46,182 --> 00:19:49,413 - All these can go through now. - How's my little sister? 238 00:19:49,485 --> 00:19:53,387 Just very sad. He was a wonderful husband, wasn't he? 239 00:19:53,455 --> 00:19:57,414 - So attentive. So devoted. - Can I get you a cup of tea, Sandra? 240 00:19:57,493 --> 00:20:01,452 Tea can do many things, Jane, but it can't bring back the dead. 241 00:20:07,269 --> 00:20:08,998 "My father was an exceptional man..." 242 00:20:09,071 --> 00:20:12,097 "My father... My father was an exceptional man." 243 00:20:12,174 --> 00:20:14,836 Daniel, have you called yet about the deposit? 244 00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:16,629 - No, I haven't yet, no. - Why don't you give me the number, 245 00:20:16,679 --> 00:20:18,112 and I could do it? 246 00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:21,172 Jane, don't make it obvious, but you see that guy standing by the table? 247 00:20:21,250 --> 00:20:24,514 See? Do you recognize him at all? He's really staring at me. 248 00:20:24,586 --> 00:20:27,680 Are you listening to me at all? We have to put the deposit on that flat 249 00:20:27,755 --> 00:20:30,849 - before it's too late. You understand? - I know. 250 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,290 All right. 251 00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:45,462 - Come on, get on with it. - I am. 252 00:20:46,541 --> 00:20:48,702 You'll break it. 253 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,911 Hurry up, we're late. 254 00:20:51,813 --> 00:20:53,075 Oh, God! 255 00:20:54,616 --> 00:20:57,210 "My father was an exceptional man." 256 00:20:58,152 --> 00:21:01,212 My God, that Katie's grown up a bit, hasn't she? 257 00:21:01,289 --> 00:21:02,688 - What? - Katie. 258 00:21:02,757 --> 00:21:05,782 She was like a little girl when I left, and now she's... 259 00:21:05,893 --> 00:21:09,488 She's fit. I might go and have a chat with her. 260 00:21:09,563 --> 00:21:11,724 Yeah, why don't you do that? 261 00:21:13,634 --> 00:21:15,932 "My father was an exceptional man." 262 00:21:16,003 --> 00:21:17,868 Hello there. 263 00:21:17,938 --> 00:21:19,200 Hello. 264 00:21:20,707 --> 00:21:23,540 I was really sorry to hear about your father. 265 00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:24,599 Mmm. 266 00:21:25,145 --> 00:21:28,774 He always talked about you, said you were a good son. 267 00:21:28,982 --> 00:21:30,347 Thank you. 268 00:21:31,551 --> 00:21:34,247 Did he ever mention me? Peter. 269 00:21:34,755 --> 00:21:37,451 Peter? No, I don't think so. Were you friends with Dad? 270 00:21:37,524 --> 00:21:38,513 Mmm-hmm. 271 00:21:39,326 --> 00:21:42,784 Well, okay. Nice to meet you, and thank you for coming. 272 00:21:48,234 --> 00:21:50,634 Come on. Put your back into it. 273 00:21:50,703 --> 00:21:52,170 Jesus! 274 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,869 - Push the bloody thing! - I am pushing. 275 00:21:59,812 --> 00:22:02,042 "My father was an exceptional man. He was born..." 276 00:22:02,114 --> 00:22:05,208 Daniel, I really think we should be calling everyone in now 277 00:22:05,284 --> 00:22:07,047 - to start the service. - Sure. 278 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,644 Really, I'm only supposed to be here until 3:00. 279 00:22:09,722 --> 00:22:12,174 Sure. Do you mind though if we wait just five minutes for my Uncle Alfie? 280 00:22:12,224 --> 00:22:13,743 We really shouldn't start without him, if possible. 281 00:22:13,793 --> 00:22:15,954 Of course, of course. 282 00:22:21,534 --> 00:22:22,523 I'll go... 283 00:22:30,208 --> 00:22:31,334 Look. 284 00:22:32,110 --> 00:22:33,873 Isn't it beautiful? 285 00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:37,580 Martha, could I have a word? Excuse me. 286 00:22:37,782 --> 00:22:40,945 - What? What is it? - Okay, I have to tell you something. 287 00:22:41,019 --> 00:22:44,420 And I warn you in advance, you're not gonna like it. 288 00:22:45,023 --> 00:22:46,675 Good to see you. Thank you for coming as well. 289 00:22:46,725 --> 00:22:49,751 - Daniel. Hello, Robert. - Hello, Uncle Victor. 290 00:22:50,295 --> 00:22:52,820 - Uncle Victor, how are you? - Well... 291 00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:55,933 - Sad day. - Yeah. 292 00:22:56,034 --> 00:22:59,470 - So, how are things in New York? - Great. Really good, yeah. 293 00:22:59,537 --> 00:23:02,972 What's all this nonsense I hear about you not doing the eulogy? 294 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,806 - That's right. Daniel's gonna do the eulogy. - Well, that's a damn shame. 295 00:23:06,877 --> 00:23:09,175 I mean, I'm sure Daniel will be fine, 296 00:23:09,246 --> 00:23:12,579 but after all, you are the writer in the family. 297 00:23:13,050 --> 00:23:15,518 Will you just excuse me a second? 298 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,914 So, any new books coming out? 299 00:23:18,989 --> 00:23:21,457 - I'll just get my things together. - Sure. 300 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,049 You all right? 301 00:23:23,127 --> 00:23:26,392 Every single bloody person wants Robert to do the eulogy. 302 00:23:26,463 --> 00:23:29,694 He was my father, too, wasn't he? I'm just as entitled to do the bloody eulogy. 303 00:23:29,767 --> 00:23:32,531 Yes, of course you are. Of course you are. 304 00:23:32,603 --> 00:23:35,697 And it's going to be the best bloody eulogy anybody's ever heard. 305 00:23:35,773 --> 00:23:39,504 Did you hear? Apparently, Robert won't be doing the eulogy. 306 00:23:43,613 --> 00:23:46,548 - What did you just say? - I said the Valium you gave to Simon 307 00:23:46,616 --> 00:23:49,380 wasn't actually Valium. 308 00:23:49,452 --> 00:23:52,819 It's an hallucinogenic concoction. 309 00:23:52,889 --> 00:23:56,484 You know, stuff like acid, mescaline, a little ketamine. 310 00:23:56,559 --> 00:23:57,856 This isn't funny, Troy. 311 00:23:57,927 --> 00:24:00,896 I'm not being funny. Look at him. He's off his tits! 312 00:24:03,099 --> 00:24:05,659 You absolute little twat! 313 00:24:05,768 --> 00:24:07,920 What the hell are you doing leaving this stuff around your flat? 314 00:24:07,970 --> 00:24:09,288 I didn't know someone was gonna take it, did I? 315 00:24:09,338 --> 00:24:11,424 Who just goes into someone else's flat and takes random pills? 316 00:24:11,474 --> 00:24:13,533 They were in a Valium bottle. 317 00:24:14,844 --> 00:24:16,607 Fuck, Troy! 318 00:24:16,679 --> 00:24:19,477 What the hell am I meant to do? Should I tell him? 319 00:24:19,549 --> 00:24:23,040 No! Don't do that. It'll just freak him out completely. 320 00:24:23,118 --> 00:24:25,170 I think we should just keep a very close eye on him. 321 00:24:25,220 --> 00:24:26,738 Make sure he doesn't get out of control. 322 00:24:26,788 --> 00:24:30,280 And don't let him spend too long talking to one person. 323 00:24:31,059 --> 00:24:32,048 Shit. 324 00:24:48,310 --> 00:24:50,210 Hey, Dad, how are you doing? 325 00:24:50,278 --> 00:24:51,745 - You're late. - Hey, Dad. 326 00:24:51,813 --> 00:24:55,943 - Hi, Troy. You missing university today? - Yeah, not to worry, though. I'll catch up. 327 00:24:56,017 --> 00:25:00,715 I know, I'm not worried about you. I see you've brought your friend along. 328 00:25:00,788 --> 00:25:05,157 His name's Simon. Simon. And of course I brought him along, he's my boyfriend. 329 00:25:05,226 --> 00:25:08,024 Martha. So good to see you. 330 00:25:08,095 --> 00:25:11,189 I'm so sorry, Aunt Sandra. We're gonna miss Uncle Edward terribly. 331 00:25:11,265 --> 00:25:12,994 - Thank you. - He was a great guy. 332 00:25:13,067 --> 00:25:15,035 Yes. Yes, he was. Thank you, Troy. 333 00:25:15,102 --> 00:25:18,162 Simon, this is my... 334 00:25:18,239 --> 00:25:20,799 I'm so sorry about the death. 335 00:25:23,377 --> 00:25:26,403 I'm so sorry. 336 00:25:27,047 --> 00:25:29,345 - Thank you. - And everything. 337 00:25:29,416 --> 00:25:30,974 Come on, Simon. 338 00:25:44,964 --> 00:25:47,228 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 339 00:25:47,300 --> 00:25:51,600 I can't leave, can I? Aunt Sandra'll never speak to me again. Oh, shit! 340 00:25:54,007 --> 00:25:55,599 Hey, Martha. 341 00:26:12,659 --> 00:26:16,095 - Hey, you look nice. - I'm dressed for a funeral. 342 00:26:16,162 --> 00:26:18,062 Yeah, but still. 343 00:26:18,665 --> 00:26:21,997 So, I heard about the engagement. What's that about? 344 00:26:22,401 --> 00:26:25,131 Who told you that? I haven't even told my dad. 345 00:26:25,204 --> 00:26:27,229 Is that the guy you're gonna marry? 346 00:26:27,306 --> 00:26:30,537 You're gonna spend the rest of your life with him? 347 00:26:30,809 --> 00:26:32,470 Yep, that's him. 348 00:26:37,916 --> 00:26:41,716 - Simon? - Martha. Martha. 349 00:26:41,787 --> 00:26:43,846 You're slow. Come on! 350 00:26:47,226 --> 00:26:50,662 - Any chance of a hand, Justin? - Hey, lift it, lift it! 351 00:26:51,029 --> 00:26:53,554 Lift it. Lift it. You got to lift it. 352 00:26:53,632 --> 00:26:58,001 Hi, Daniel. Actually, there's something I really wanted to talk to you about 353 00:26:58,070 --> 00:26:59,910 - when you have a moment. - Okay, that's great. 354 00:26:59,971 --> 00:27:01,022 Do you mind if we do it later, though? 355 00:27:01,072 --> 00:27:02,872 'Cause my Uncle Alfie's just arrived and I... 356 00:27:02,974 --> 00:27:04,271 Sure. 357 00:27:05,743 --> 00:27:06,903 Up! 358 00:27:08,145 --> 00:27:09,442 Come on! 359 00:27:11,249 --> 00:27:12,633 Thank you, Justin. Thank you so much, mate. 360 00:27:12,683 --> 00:27:14,412 Hope it wasn't too much hassle. 361 00:27:14,485 --> 00:27:17,113 - How are you, Uncle Alfie? - Terrible. 362 00:27:31,068 --> 00:27:35,402 Ladies and gentlemen, if you could all kindly take your seats. 363 00:27:35,473 --> 00:27:37,941 We're about to begin the service. 364 00:27:42,946 --> 00:27:44,379 Simon, please. 365 00:27:44,447 --> 00:27:49,146 Move. Move. Don't start yet. Don't start. Move. 366 00:28:36,498 --> 00:28:38,523 Jesus, Howard, you stink! 367 00:28:40,703 --> 00:28:43,433 Family and friends. 368 00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:47,439 Maybe, that's because you left me to deal with Uncle Alfie on my own. 369 00:28:47,509 --> 00:28:51,104 - Not to mention taking all the credit. - Howard, can you please be quiet? 370 00:28:51,180 --> 00:28:54,513 And I'd like to start with a favorite passage of Edward's 371 00:28:54,583 --> 00:28:56,380 from the King James Bible. 372 00:28:56,452 --> 00:29:00,217 It's the First Book of Samuel, Chapter 18. 373 00:29:02,123 --> 00:29:07,151 Actually, Martha, just so you know, we had Uncle Alfie in the car with us, 374 00:29:07,228 --> 00:29:09,856 and you took my parking space, and I had to push him 375 00:29:09,931 --> 00:29:13,924 about half a mile up a hill, by myself, and we almost missed the service. 376 00:29:14,001 --> 00:29:15,332 That was my parking space. 377 00:29:15,403 --> 00:29:17,288 Listen, Howard, if you don't stop poking me on the shoulder, 378 00:29:17,338 --> 00:29:19,624 I am going to take you outside and kick the living shit out of you. 379 00:29:19,674 --> 00:29:21,125 - Do you understand me? - What is going on? 380 00:29:21,175 --> 00:29:22,506 She stole my parking space. 381 00:29:22,577 --> 00:29:23,895 What do you mean she stole your parking space? 382 00:29:23,945 --> 00:29:26,413 This is a funeral. Behave yourself. 383 00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:33,347 "Then Jonathan and David made a covenant," 384 00:29:33,421 --> 00:29:36,390 "because he loved him as his own soul." 385 00:29:37,391 --> 00:29:40,918 "And it came to pass that the soul of Jonathan" 386 00:29:40,994 --> 00:29:46,125 "was knit with the soul of David. And Jonathan stripped himself" 387 00:29:46,199 --> 00:29:50,295 "of the robe that was upon him and gave it to David," 388 00:29:50,971 --> 00:29:54,270 "and his garments, even to his sword," 389 00:29:54,641 --> 00:29:56,905 "and to his bow," 390 00:29:57,144 --> 00:29:59,408 "and to his girdle." 391 00:30:03,316 --> 00:30:07,480 And now, we'll have a few words from Edward's son, 392 00:30:07,554 --> 00:30:08,851 Daniel. 393 00:30:22,635 --> 00:30:24,364 Hi, everyone. 394 00:30:24,437 --> 00:30:26,997 Thanks to so many of you for coming. 395 00:30:28,274 --> 00:30:30,834 I never realized Dad was so popular. 396 00:30:31,410 --> 00:30:33,901 In fact, it seems like he's got more friends now that he's dead 397 00:30:33,979 --> 00:30:35,708 than when he was alive. 398 00:30:50,729 --> 00:30:53,095 "My father was an exceptional man." 399 00:30:53,165 --> 00:30:56,964 "He was born in 1938, just a year before the war." 400 00:30:57,035 --> 00:30:59,629 "I'll never forget the time when Dad took us to" 401 00:30:59,704 --> 00:31:04,232 "the place where he grew up, just near a town called Crawley in Sussex." 402 00:31:05,009 --> 00:31:09,309 "It's changed a lot over the years, what with the expansion of Gatwick airport," 403 00:31:09,380 --> 00:31:12,178 "and it's actually become something of a commuter town now," 404 00:31:12,250 --> 00:31:15,583 "partly because of its proximity to London." 405 00:31:17,021 --> 00:31:20,923 "But at the time when my dad was young, it was really quite pastoral." 406 00:31:20,992 --> 00:31:23,017 "Lots of fields" 407 00:31:23,995 --> 00:31:27,453 "and greenery, and Dad would roam around the countryside for hours" 408 00:31:27,532 --> 00:31:30,399 "with his close boyhood friend, Bob." 409 00:31:30,468 --> 00:31:34,564 "He told me how they spent their summer days riding their bikes..." 410 00:31:34,973 --> 00:31:38,271 - Did you just see that? - "...through the local cornfields..." 411 00:31:38,342 --> 00:31:41,834 - The coffin, it just moved. - "...and swimming in the lake." 412 00:31:41,912 --> 00:31:43,243 "Dad's..." 413 00:31:43,847 --> 00:31:46,213 I'm telling you, I saw it move. 414 00:31:48,619 --> 00:31:51,315 "Dad's first job was working after school as an apprentice," 415 00:31:53,457 --> 00:31:57,223 - "for an electrician named Mr. Thomson." - There! It happened again! 416 00:31:57,294 --> 00:32:00,730 - Simon, settle down. - I'm telling you, the coffin is moving! 417 00:32:00,797 --> 00:32:02,958 Simon, just calm down. 418 00:32:03,667 --> 00:32:07,865 Please, God, the coffin is moving, I tell you! 419 00:32:08,939 --> 00:32:12,306 - There's someone alive in there! - Simon, where are you going? 420 00:32:13,043 --> 00:32:15,602 What the hell is wrong with you all? 421 00:32:15,678 --> 00:32:17,873 - Don't you look at me like that! - Simon. 422 00:32:17,947 --> 00:32:21,508 Can't you see? Open your eyes! 423 00:32:21,584 --> 00:32:26,283 There's someone moving around in there! Can't you see? 424 00:32:26,355 --> 00:32:28,118 - Simon! - What are you doing? 425 00:32:28,190 --> 00:32:31,159 Simon, stop that! Simon, don't touch that! 426 00:32:31,227 --> 00:32:32,745 - What are you doing? - I'm going to let you out! 427 00:32:32,795 --> 00:32:34,353 What are you doing? 428 00:32:35,932 --> 00:32:37,456 Oh, God! 429 00:32:44,206 --> 00:32:46,766 Mum, it's all right, it's all right. 430 00:32:52,715 --> 00:32:54,148 It's okay. 431 00:32:55,784 --> 00:32:58,776 Put the kettle on. All right, Mum, all right. 432 00:32:59,387 --> 00:33:01,321 All right. Help me. 433 00:33:03,858 --> 00:33:07,259 That was unbelievable, wasn't it? All right. 434 00:33:07,929 --> 00:33:11,160 If you'd all like to have some lovely tea and cake, 435 00:33:11,399 --> 00:33:14,027 we'll get back to you as soon as we can. 436 00:33:17,739 --> 00:33:20,071 - What the fuck was that about? - Daniel, I am so sorry. 437 00:33:20,141 --> 00:33:22,336 - I'm so sorry. - The coffin was moving. 438 00:33:22,410 --> 00:33:25,436 Just go back inside and I'll explain later. I am so sorry. 439 00:33:25,513 --> 00:33:29,950 - There was a definite scratching sound. - Sorry. Oh, God, please, please. 440 00:33:31,219 --> 00:33:32,811 - Are you all right? - No. 441 00:33:32,887 --> 00:33:35,320 No, I haven't made the call about the deposit yet. 442 00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:39,423 I'll kill him! 443 00:33:39,493 --> 00:33:42,291 - Just calm down. - I'm going to kill him! 444 00:33:42,997 --> 00:33:44,225 - Dad, leave it. - Leave it? 445 00:33:44,298 --> 00:33:46,417 - He's completely wrecked the funeral! - It wasn't his fault. 446 00:33:46,467 --> 00:33:48,435 What do you mean it wasn't his fault? 447 00:33:48,502 --> 00:33:50,766 Your Aunt Sandra is in tatters. 448 00:33:50,838 --> 00:33:53,671 I want him out of here right this minute. Is that clear? 449 00:33:53,741 --> 00:33:57,973 Tell me you will have nothing to do with that ridiculous man ever again. 450 00:33:58,045 --> 00:33:59,376 I'm sorry. 451 00:33:59,446 --> 00:34:02,108 No, I can't do that. 452 00:34:02,182 --> 00:34:03,774 Why not? 453 00:34:04,485 --> 00:34:07,249 Because we're moving in together. 454 00:34:07,321 --> 00:34:08,982 Dear God. 455 00:34:09,056 --> 00:34:12,025 Have you completely lost your senses? 456 00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:13,490 He isn't actually like this. 457 00:34:13,559 --> 00:34:16,892 He had some drugs and they made him act all weird. 458 00:34:16,963 --> 00:34:20,228 Drugs? What drugs? 459 00:34:24,871 --> 00:34:28,329 He took some Valium and he had a bad reaction. 460 00:34:31,577 --> 00:34:33,545 - Valium? - Yeah. 461 00:34:40,253 --> 00:34:42,551 We'll talk about this later. 462 00:34:49,962 --> 00:34:52,055 - Simon. - Martha. 463 00:34:52,131 --> 00:34:53,495 Yeah, okay. Come and sit down. 464 00:34:53,999 --> 00:34:56,593 Thank you, Janet, I appreciate that. That's for sure. 465 00:34:56,668 --> 00:34:59,296 - All right, mate? - Hey. Hello, mate. 466 00:34:59,771 --> 00:35:01,068 That was awful. Wasn't it? 467 00:35:01,139 --> 00:35:03,258 Landing in front of your mum like that like a dead trout. 468 00:35:03,308 --> 00:35:06,175 - Yeah, Howard, please. Come on. - Yeah, sorry. 469 00:35:06,244 --> 00:35:10,271 It's just... You just never know when it's gonna happen to you. 470 00:35:10,348 --> 00:35:14,978 That's all. It's like with me, I've got... It's like a weird patch of skin. 471 00:35:15,053 --> 00:35:17,739 I've had that a couple of weeks. I've absolutely no idea what that is. 472 00:35:17,789 --> 00:35:20,417 Why don't you show it to my Uncle Victor? You know, he's a doctor. 473 00:35:20,492 --> 00:35:21,789 Yes. 474 00:35:23,762 --> 00:35:25,024 Hello. 475 00:35:25,997 --> 00:35:27,726 I swear I saw it moving. 476 00:35:27,966 --> 00:35:31,800 I saw it moving. No one else saw. No one else saw. 477 00:35:31,870 --> 00:35:34,702 I swear I saw it moving. I must be going mad. 478 00:35:34,772 --> 00:35:37,434 Why are my hands so big? 479 00:35:37,508 --> 00:35:41,205 Simon, listen to me. I need to tell you something. 480 00:35:42,847 --> 00:35:46,010 You know I gave you some Valium earlier? 481 00:35:46,784 --> 00:35:49,412 - Yes. - Well, 482 00:35:49,954 --> 00:35:56,120 it turns out that it wasn't actually Valium at all. 483 00:35:57,595 --> 00:35:59,153 Mmm-hmm. 484 00:36:00,264 --> 00:36:02,789 - Can you hear me? - Hello? 485 00:36:03,167 --> 00:36:05,186 - Do you think we can start again now? - I believe we can, yes. 486 00:36:05,236 --> 00:36:07,864 - How are you feeling, Sandra? - Much better, thank you. 487 00:36:09,807 --> 00:36:10,831 Hello, Doctor. 488 00:36:10,908 --> 00:36:13,693 I've got this skin discoloration. I've had it for a couple of weeks now. 489 00:36:13,743 --> 00:36:14,828 It's just not going anywhere. 490 00:36:14,878 --> 00:36:17,608 Now, I know it's just a small patch, but it's weird. 491 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:18,765 It does look weird, doesn't it? 492 00:36:18,815 --> 00:36:21,079 Victor, I'm going back now. 493 00:36:21,384 --> 00:36:23,169 You should probably go and see a dermatologist. 494 00:36:23,219 --> 00:36:24,948 Why, what do you think it is? 495 00:36:25,021 --> 00:36:27,581 Looks like some kind of pigment mutation. 496 00:36:27,657 --> 00:36:28,715 A pigment mutation? 497 00:36:28,792 --> 00:36:32,592 Could be an allergic reaction to shellfish, nuts. 498 00:36:32,662 --> 00:36:34,323 Nuts? What kind of nuts? 499 00:36:34,397 --> 00:36:37,366 I don't know. Peanuts, almonds. Excuse me. 500 00:36:42,539 --> 00:36:44,837 Do you see now? 501 00:36:45,508 --> 00:36:47,169 Yes. 502 00:36:50,046 --> 00:36:51,945 Hallucinogenic. 503 00:36:57,753 --> 00:37:01,314 Now, my advice is to relax and just go with the flow. 504 00:37:01,390 --> 00:37:03,585 You know, try and enjoy it. 505 00:37:03,659 --> 00:37:05,092 You! 506 00:37:06,361 --> 00:37:07,419 Simon! 507 00:37:07,496 --> 00:37:11,865 - How long does it last? - I don't know, about eight hours. 508 00:37:12,734 --> 00:37:15,464 - Eight hours of this? - Simon, let go! 509 00:37:15,537 --> 00:37:16,765 You! 510 00:37:17,940 --> 00:37:21,205 - Simon? - Oh, my God, I'm going to be sick! 511 00:37:21,276 --> 00:37:22,538 No. 512 00:37:24,346 --> 00:37:27,645 Simon, come back. Simon. 513 00:37:28,817 --> 00:37:31,307 - Hey, listen, Martha... - Simon! 514 00:37:32,653 --> 00:37:35,588 Excuse me, sorry, he's going to be sick. Excuse me. 515 00:37:35,656 --> 00:37:38,284 Sorry, mind out, mind out. He's gonna be sick. 516 00:37:38,993 --> 00:37:41,291 Come up here. Quick. 517 00:37:46,133 --> 00:37:48,431 Do you want me... Simon? 518 00:37:52,206 --> 00:37:54,003 Simon, are you okay? 519 00:37:55,142 --> 00:37:56,404 Simon? 520 00:37:56,978 --> 00:37:58,946 Simon, let me in. 521 00:38:01,515 --> 00:38:03,380 - Simon. - Martha. 522 00:38:04,118 --> 00:38:07,349 Did you happen to see a pill bottle? Shit! 523 00:38:07,421 --> 00:38:08,911 - Simon? - Right. 524 00:38:08,990 --> 00:38:11,287 - Are you okay? Simon? - Keep it together. 525 00:38:11,358 --> 00:38:13,758 Keep it together. You can do this. 526 00:38:13,894 --> 00:38:16,192 - Simon. - You're Simon Smith. 527 00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:19,625 You're a solicitor. 528 00:38:19,699 --> 00:38:21,564 You're a solicitor. 529 00:38:22,369 --> 00:38:24,860 Eight hours. It's no problem. 530 00:38:24,938 --> 00:38:27,099 - Please, open the door. - Eight hours he said. 531 00:38:27,173 --> 00:38:29,801 - Simon? - Where's my watch? 532 00:38:30,644 --> 00:38:33,169 - Please open the door. - It's already been... 533 00:38:34,214 --> 00:38:36,774 - I took Valium. - Simon, open the door. 534 00:38:37,784 --> 00:38:39,945 - Seven hours to go. - Simon? 535 00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:42,955 God, Jesus, fuck! 536 00:38:43,023 --> 00:38:44,149 Fuck! 537 00:38:44,724 --> 00:38:46,749 It's nothing to worry about. It's fine. 538 00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:48,316 Jesus fuck! 539 00:38:48,962 --> 00:38:50,952 Grief does strange things to people, doesn't it? 540 00:38:51,030 --> 00:38:53,055 Yeah. Yeah. 541 00:38:53,132 --> 00:38:55,484 If you remember, I had something I wanted to talk to you about. 542 00:38:55,534 --> 00:38:57,092 Oh, yes, yes. 543 00:38:57,169 --> 00:38:59,103 - Is there someplace quiet we can go? - Sure. 544 00:39:27,333 --> 00:39:29,266 - Are you writing a book? - Yes. 545 00:39:29,334 --> 00:39:31,519 - Like your brother. - Well, different from my brother, but... 546 00:39:31,569 --> 00:39:33,594 - He's a great writer, isn't he? - Yes, he is. 547 00:39:33,671 --> 00:39:35,161 So, anyway? 548 00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:39,767 Yes, actually, I have some photos I wanted to show you. 549 00:39:39,944 --> 00:39:41,241 Okay. 550 00:39:41,479 --> 00:39:43,447 - May I? - Sure. 551 00:39:46,017 --> 00:39:49,919 We became quite close, your father and I, in the last few months. 552 00:39:49,988 --> 00:39:51,868 Ended up spending quite a lot of time together. 553 00:39:51,923 --> 00:39:53,151 Right. 554 00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:56,151 Here's me and your father in Regent's Park. 555 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,387 Oh, yeah. 556 00:39:57,462 --> 00:40:01,228 Here we are on top of one of those London buses. 557 00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:03,096 It's a terrible picture of me. 558 00:40:03,167 --> 00:40:07,228 - So, where did you and my dad meet? - Just around. 559 00:40:11,074 --> 00:40:12,234 Hello? 560 00:40:12,809 --> 00:40:14,071 Simon. 561 00:40:15,545 --> 00:40:16,569 Are you all right? 562 00:40:16,646 --> 00:40:19,376 Wow. Yes. 563 00:40:19,916 --> 00:40:25,513 Yes, yes. Keep coming. You, join the others. 564 00:40:26,123 --> 00:40:29,820 Join the others. Oh, you. 565 00:40:30,827 --> 00:40:37,289 Oh, here, yes. Here we are at a fancy costume party in Kensington. 566 00:40:37,367 --> 00:40:40,996 That's your dad dressed up as a Roman centurion. 567 00:40:48,978 --> 00:40:51,230 Sorry, in what capacity were you actually friends with my dad? 568 00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,772 I mean, I don't mean to be... But he never mentioned you to me. 569 00:40:54,850 --> 00:40:59,514 And yet you have all these pictures where you're going around like you're... 570 00:41:28,983 --> 00:41:32,180 Oh, God. Oh, my God. No. 571 00:41:35,223 --> 00:41:37,691 Now, I know this must come as quite a shock to you. 572 00:41:37,759 --> 00:41:40,284 I'm sure he would have told you himself, 573 00:41:40,361 --> 00:41:43,228 but I guess he wasn't sure how you'd react. 574 00:41:43,298 --> 00:41:44,959 - Does my mother know about this? - No. 575 00:41:45,033 --> 00:41:46,261 - No. - No, no. 576 00:41:46,334 --> 00:41:49,360 And there's really no reason why she should find out. 577 00:41:49,437 --> 00:41:52,167 Just as long as I get what's owed to me. 578 00:41:52,674 --> 00:41:53,766 What? 579 00:41:54,542 --> 00:41:57,067 Well, I think I deserve something. 580 00:41:57,979 --> 00:42:00,607 I mean, your father and I were lovers. 581 00:42:01,483 --> 00:42:04,543 No, he left me absolutely nothing in his will. 582 00:42:05,687 --> 00:42:07,916 How do you think that makes me feel? 583 00:42:07,988 --> 00:42:10,980 I'll tell you how that makes me feel. Cheap. 584 00:42:11,658 --> 00:42:13,319 Like a cheap slut. 585 00:42:14,094 --> 00:42:16,619 Don't you think I deserve something? 586 00:42:16,830 --> 00:42:18,457 What do you want? 587 00:42:19,466 --> 00:42:22,902 Well, I think about 15,000 should do it. 588 00:42:23,737 --> 00:42:25,261 15,000? 589 00:42:25,906 --> 00:42:29,205 - I'm supposed to be buying a flat. - Well, that's up to you. 590 00:42:29,276 --> 00:42:31,039 Hang on, you hang on a minute. 591 00:42:31,111 --> 00:42:32,874 You think you can come in here and show me 592 00:42:32,946 --> 00:42:36,211 a few pictures of you and my dad on a bus and that counts as proof? 593 00:42:36,283 --> 00:42:38,877 That's not fucking proof of anything. 594 00:42:40,087 --> 00:42:41,554 What is that? 595 00:42:42,089 --> 00:42:43,556 Oh, Jesus! 596 00:42:44,291 --> 00:42:47,885 Now, I don't want to, but I will go out there 597 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,258 and I will show these photographs to every single person. 598 00:42:50,329 --> 00:42:52,763 Do you really want me to do that? 599 00:42:56,202 --> 00:42:58,932 You wait here. Wait here. 600 00:43:02,708 --> 00:43:06,166 Daniel, I was just telling George here how when we were boys together, 601 00:43:06,245 --> 00:43:10,545 your dad used to love to make us all go skinny-dipping. 602 00:43:14,453 --> 00:43:16,182 I think she's fine. 603 00:43:27,199 --> 00:43:29,963 Simon, open the door. 604 00:43:31,836 --> 00:43:33,701 Anything I can do to help? 605 00:43:33,772 --> 00:43:36,798 - Not really, thanks. - You got it all under control? 606 00:43:37,375 --> 00:43:38,672 Simon? 607 00:43:39,644 --> 00:43:42,340 So what are you doing next weekend? I've got a couple of tickets... 608 00:43:42,414 --> 00:43:44,366 Look, Justin, I've got a lot on my plate right now, 609 00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:45,567 and I just can't deal with your shit. 610 00:43:45,617 --> 00:43:49,553 Now, can you please just go away? Please? 611 00:43:52,857 --> 00:43:54,484 Simon? 612 00:43:58,930 --> 00:44:01,194 - Hi, Robert. Can I talk to you for a second? - Not now. 613 00:44:01,266 --> 00:44:03,818 - Just give me five minutes. - It's important. It's ever so important. 614 00:44:03,868 --> 00:44:05,801 - Excuse me. - Okay. 615 00:44:06,270 --> 00:44:08,431 - What are you doing? - Robert, listen. 616 00:44:13,577 --> 00:44:17,843 You know that guy from before that we didn't recognize? That little guy, 617 00:44:17,915 --> 00:44:20,850 you know, the short guy, yeah? I've just been with him in the study. 618 00:44:21,218 --> 00:44:25,348 - Yeah? - And he showed me these pictures. 619 00:44:26,156 --> 00:44:28,056 - Yeah? Right. - Of him and dad. 620 00:44:29,393 --> 00:44:32,988 - Of him and dad together. - Right. 621 00:44:33,330 --> 00:44:35,115 Of him and Dad together at parties in Kensington. 622 00:44:35,165 --> 00:44:36,645 Look, Daniel, is this going anywhere? 623 00:44:36,700 --> 00:44:41,296 - For God's sake, he was shagging dad! - Fuck off! 624 00:44:45,208 --> 00:44:47,260 - Are you shitting me? - No, I'm not shitting you, I'm telling you. 625 00:44:47,310 --> 00:44:49,801 He showed me the pictures. I feel sick. 626 00:44:49,879 --> 00:44:53,940 So, wait, wait, what are you saying? That Dad was a gay? 627 00:44:54,284 --> 00:44:55,615 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 628 00:44:57,153 --> 00:44:59,781 - And he was cheating on Mum? - Well, evidently. 629 00:45:00,056 --> 00:45:03,514 - With that little... - Yes. 630 00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:07,059 I know it's a bombshell, but the concern right now is that he wants money. 631 00:45:07,130 --> 00:45:08,448 - What do you mean he wants money? - He wants money. 632 00:45:08,498 --> 00:45:10,693 - He wants 15,000. - Tell him to go and fuck himself! 633 00:45:10,767 --> 00:45:12,685 No, you don't understand. He's got the pictures. 634 00:45:12,735 --> 00:45:14,887 And if we don't give him the money, he's gonna tell everybody here 635 00:45:14,937 --> 00:45:16,422 the most intimate details of their sex life. 636 00:45:16,472 --> 00:45:18,524 I don't wanna hear the most intimate details of their sex life. 637 00:45:18,574 --> 00:45:21,168 Exactly. So what are we gonna do? 638 00:45:22,111 --> 00:45:25,102 - Oh, shit. - Think, then. 639 00:45:26,448 --> 00:45:28,439 Okay, all right. 640 00:45:32,921 --> 00:45:35,856 This is a total fucking waste of time. I don't know why I even bothered. 641 00:45:35,924 --> 00:45:38,154 I got dressed up and everything, you know? 642 00:45:38,226 --> 00:45:40,212 I mean, how could she be more interested in that idiot up there 643 00:45:40,262 --> 00:45:42,093 than she is in me? 644 00:45:42,164 --> 00:45:44,082 I'm telling you, Howard. This world is severely fucked up. 645 00:45:44,132 --> 00:45:45,684 - Sounds really serious, doesn't it? - What? 646 00:45:45,734 --> 00:45:47,827 Pigment mutation. 647 00:45:50,038 --> 00:45:52,973 Oh, will you taste this? I think it's got almonds in it. 648 00:45:53,041 --> 00:45:55,168 - So? - So? Daniel's uncle said I'm allergic 649 00:45:55,243 --> 00:45:56,595 - to almonds. - Well, don't eat it. 650 00:45:56,645 --> 00:45:58,697 Go on, please. Be a mate. Taste it. Tell me what you think. 651 00:45:58,747 --> 00:46:00,647 - No. - Go on, try it. 652 00:46:00,716 --> 00:46:02,734 - I don't want to. - Please. Come on, do me a favor. 653 00:46:02,784 --> 00:46:05,911 - Can't you just do me a favor? - Please fuck off! 654 00:46:08,356 --> 00:46:10,341 You haven't seen a pill bottle lying around, have you? 655 00:46:10,391 --> 00:46:12,052 Like a Valium pill bottle? 656 00:46:12,126 --> 00:46:14,526 - No. - Shit. Shit. Shit. 657 00:46:26,841 --> 00:46:29,173 Shouldn't be long now. 658 00:46:36,751 --> 00:46:39,845 - Shall we go inside? - In a minute. 659 00:46:47,527 --> 00:46:49,154 Doctor, you know you... 660 00:47:00,607 --> 00:47:05,704 Hello. Sorry about... Well, you know. 661 00:47:05,945 --> 00:47:07,913 - Thank you. - Yeah, sorry. 662 00:47:08,381 --> 00:47:11,817 Oh, God, it must be terrible losing a husband. 663 00:47:11,885 --> 00:47:14,683 Still, you're still so young. Relatively. 664 00:47:16,656 --> 00:47:21,650 Do you think you'll marry again? Probably too soon to say, isn't it? 665 00:47:21,728 --> 00:47:25,356 God, it's just terrible, isn't it, that people die? Awful. 666 00:47:25,431 --> 00:47:28,423 There was a guy that I know, he got stabbed to death. 667 00:47:28,500 --> 00:47:31,958 And he called this guy's mother a moose. The guy just... 668 00:47:32,037 --> 00:47:36,303 Just stabbed him right in the neck, hit like a major artery. 669 00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:40,072 And there was blood, just... You honestly would not believe how much 670 00:47:40,145 --> 00:47:44,411 just spurting absolutely everywhere. And ridiculous thing is 671 00:47:44,483 --> 00:47:46,474 that the guy that did it told the police later 672 00:47:46,552 --> 00:47:49,316 he didn't even know what a moose was. 673 00:47:51,590 --> 00:47:56,493 Has that cake got almonds in it? It's not important, doesn't matter. 674 00:47:59,932 --> 00:48:05,028 - Excuse me. - Mmm. Nice talk. 675 00:48:15,613 --> 00:48:16,798 I just don't think Mum can handle it. 676 00:48:16,848 --> 00:48:17,932 Let me rephrase the question. 677 00:48:17,982 --> 00:48:20,382 What do you mean, you think it's best if I pay him the money? 678 00:48:20,685 --> 00:48:22,437 You've been living off Mum and Dad for long enough. 679 00:48:22,487 --> 00:48:24,505 - You must have some money saved. - I haven't been living... 680 00:48:24,555 --> 00:48:28,389 - I've paid for this entire funeral, Robert. - Now, wait a second. 681 00:48:28,459 --> 00:48:30,484 How do you know this guy isn't bullshitting? 682 00:48:34,765 --> 00:48:36,130 Oh, my God! 683 00:48:38,970 --> 00:48:42,871 - Simon? - Simon. 684 00:48:44,741 --> 00:48:50,145 - Simon? Simon? - Simon. Simon. 685 00:48:52,415 --> 00:48:56,408 - Simon. - Simon. 686 00:48:57,420 --> 00:49:00,878 - Si? - Mon. 687 00:49:10,567 --> 00:49:12,486 I think we're just about ready to resume the service, so... 688 00:49:12,536 --> 00:49:14,265 Would you mind giving us five minutes? 689 00:49:14,337 --> 00:49:16,100 - Of course. - Thanks. 690 00:49:19,175 --> 00:49:22,268 Hey, Danny, what is going on? 691 00:49:22,344 --> 00:49:24,763 Listen, I'm really, really sorry, but I'm afraid our moving out plans 692 00:49:24,813 --> 00:49:26,999 are gonna have to be put on hold just for a little while. 693 00:49:27,049 --> 00:49:29,068 - What do you mean? Why? - I haven't got time to explain right now, 694 00:49:29,118 --> 00:49:31,203 but you know I wouldn't do this unless I had a really good reason. 695 00:49:31,253 --> 00:49:34,814 - No. What's the reason? - I can't explain right now. Okay. 696 00:49:44,099 --> 00:49:45,999 So you're the blackmailing prick. 697 00:49:47,369 --> 00:49:49,496 Hey, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing with that? 698 00:49:49,572 --> 00:49:51,690 This is my manuscript. This is not ready to be read by anyone. 699 00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:55,060 Well, you shouldn't leave it lying around, Daniel, if you don't want people to read it. 700 00:49:55,110 --> 00:49:58,341 - This is my office! - Guys, can we just get to the point? 701 00:49:58,514 --> 00:50:00,141 Fine by me. 702 00:50:03,785 --> 00:50:06,037 Fine. If I write you this check, okay, that's the end of it. Yes? 703 00:50:06,087 --> 00:50:09,274 You give us the photos, then you stay out of our lives forever, that's the deal, yeah? 704 00:50:09,324 --> 00:50:10,689 That's the deal. 705 00:50:27,375 --> 00:50:30,242 - Is that your first attempt? - What? 706 00:50:30,311 --> 00:50:34,407 - The novel. That's your first novel, isn't it? - Yeah. So? 707 00:50:34,582 --> 00:50:36,049 No, nothing. 708 00:50:37,218 --> 00:50:40,084 I tried writing once. It didn't work for me, either. 709 00:50:41,722 --> 00:50:44,953 I think it's like a gift. You either have it or you don't. 710 00:50:46,326 --> 00:50:50,524 It must be hard for you though, Daniel, living up to your brother's reputation. 711 00:50:50,597 --> 00:50:53,964 You know, always living in the shadow of a sibling like that. 712 00:50:54,568 --> 00:51:00,973 By the way, I read your latest novel. Wow. Really good stuff. 713 00:51:01,742 --> 00:51:03,437 Thanks. 714 00:51:05,245 --> 00:51:07,042 Right, that's it. 715 00:51:07,914 --> 00:51:09,575 Daniel, what the hell are you doing? 716 00:51:09,650 --> 00:51:12,813 There's no way I'm giving this twat a single penny of my money. 717 00:51:12,953 --> 00:51:16,821 - Don't be ridiculous. - No. Why should I? Why should I? 718 00:51:16,890 --> 00:51:19,475 He comes in here on the day of our father's funeral, tries to blackmail us, 719 00:51:19,525 --> 00:51:21,765 and then he slags off my novel. Who does he think he is? 720 00:51:21,861 --> 00:51:24,213 - He has the photos. - Let him show the photos, I don't care. 721 00:51:24,263 --> 00:51:27,460 - Daniel, it'll... - No, Robert, I give up, okay? I give up. 722 00:51:27,533 --> 00:51:31,264 I can't take anymore. If that's what he's gonna do, then fine. Let him do it. 723 00:51:34,273 --> 00:51:36,002 - Fine. - Fine. 724 00:51:36,742 --> 00:51:42,271 - What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Please, get out of my way. 725 00:51:42,348 --> 00:51:45,374 - Let's just discuss this a minute. - There is nothing to discuss. 726 00:51:46,786 --> 00:51:50,381 - Get out of my way! Get off! - We can talk about this. 727 00:51:54,026 --> 00:51:55,789 Get up, Daniel! Daniel! 728 00:51:55,995 --> 00:51:56,984 Listen... 729 00:51:57,763 --> 00:51:59,481 What are you doing, Robert? What are you doing? 730 00:51:59,531 --> 00:52:01,616 - Just get some rope or something. - Rope? What do you mean rope? 731 00:52:01,666 --> 00:52:02,860 I haven't got any rope. 732 00:52:02,934 --> 00:52:06,199 Get some cord or something. There, from the curtain. 733 00:52:07,572 --> 00:52:09,631 - Okay, here you go. - Grab his legs. 734 00:52:12,343 --> 00:52:15,244 Oh, God, Jesus Christ, Robert, this is a really bad idea. 735 00:52:15,747 --> 00:52:21,515 Twinkle, twinkle, little star. 736 00:52:57,421 --> 00:53:00,356 - Fucking men. - Tell me about it. 737 00:53:01,492 --> 00:53:05,053 - Daniel, get that tie. Just get that tie. - Why? 738 00:53:05,195 --> 00:53:06,992 What am I supposed to do with a tie? 739 00:53:07,064 --> 00:53:08,582 Do you want everybody to know our dad is a poof? 740 00:53:08,632 --> 00:53:10,725 - Of course I don't. - Stuff it in his mouth, then. 741 00:53:10,801 --> 00:53:13,429 - This is ridiculous. - Daniel, you know that cake... 742 00:53:13,504 --> 00:53:15,904 Jesus Christ, Howard. Shut the fucking door! 743 00:53:15,973 --> 00:53:18,031 What's going on? Who's that? 744 00:53:18,107 --> 00:53:19,938 - He's having a fit. - It's a seizure. 745 00:53:20,009 --> 00:53:22,944 Oh, God, really? I've just found some Valium. Would that help? 746 00:53:23,045 --> 00:53:25,741 - Yeah, brilliant. Bring them here. - How many? 747 00:53:25,815 --> 00:53:28,443 - I don't know, a handful. - Really? Okay. 748 00:53:31,954 --> 00:53:33,785 Are they all in? Dropped one. 749 00:53:33,856 --> 00:53:37,952 Here. Open his mouth. It's okay. It's all right. 750 00:53:38,895 --> 00:53:40,780 - You haven't seen a little brown pill bottle. - Shut the door! 751 00:53:40,830 --> 00:53:43,355 Jesus Christ, Howard! I told you to lock the fucking door! 752 00:53:43,432 --> 00:53:45,593 - You said, "Shut the fucking door." - What's going on? 753 00:53:45,668 --> 00:53:49,035 - Oh, he's having a fit. - A fit? Then why is he all tied up? 754 00:53:59,548 --> 00:54:02,540 Hello. Hello. 755 00:54:02,818 --> 00:54:04,236 Hang on, he's blackmailing you over what? 756 00:54:04,286 --> 00:54:06,772 - It's not important right now. - What do you mean it's not important? 757 00:54:06,822 --> 00:54:07,839 - It's personal. - Well, why? 758 00:54:07,889 --> 00:54:09,880 He said it's personal. That's enough. 759 00:54:09,958 --> 00:54:12,110 Just trust us, okay? This is not a good guy, you know. 760 00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:13,879 - We can explain later. - So, what are we gonna do with him? 761 00:54:13,929 --> 00:54:16,762 - I don't know. What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 762 00:54:16,832 --> 00:54:18,299 What do you mean you don't know? 763 00:54:18,366 --> 00:54:19,985 How long are we gonna keep him tied up for? 764 00:54:20,035 --> 00:54:22,765 How long's the Valium gonna last? 765 00:54:22,838 --> 00:54:23,998 - What? - Valium? 766 00:54:24,072 --> 00:54:26,438 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, I found those Valium. 767 00:54:26,508 --> 00:54:29,204 We gave him a few to calm him down. Thank you. 768 00:54:29,878 --> 00:54:31,243 I think he's all right. 769 00:54:31,313 --> 00:54:34,043 - Oh, fuck! - What? 770 00:54:36,117 --> 00:54:39,347 - What is it? - Oh, fuck! 771 00:54:40,855 --> 00:54:42,049 What? 772 00:54:45,125 --> 00:54:50,153 - What? What? - The thing is, it's not actually Valium. 773 00:54:50,231 --> 00:54:53,928 It's acid, mostly. A little ketamine. Simon took one these by mistake, 774 00:54:54,001 --> 00:54:56,387 - that's why he's been off his box. - What are you doing with this stuff? 775 00:54:56,437 --> 00:54:58,530 - They're for a friend! - Hang on a minute. 776 00:54:58,606 --> 00:55:02,372 You're telling us that Martha's boyfriend, who knocked over our father's coffin, 777 00:55:02,443 --> 00:55:03,808 had just one of these things? 778 00:55:03,878 --> 00:55:05,229 - And you gave him how many? - Five. 779 00:55:05,279 --> 00:55:07,179 - Oh, Howard. - What do you mean, "Oh, Howard"? 780 00:55:07,248 --> 00:55:10,183 - You cannot blame me for this! - Poor bastard. 781 00:55:10,317 --> 00:55:11,335 We should call an ambulance. 782 00:55:11,385 --> 00:55:12,670 You can't do that. I'll be screwed! 783 00:55:12,720 --> 00:55:16,655 He's right. They're gonna turn up and find that he's been force fed with hard drugs. 784 00:55:16,823 --> 00:55:18,107 Well, what's gonna happen? Is he gonna die? 785 00:55:18,157 --> 00:55:19,146 Hmm? 786 00:55:19,392 --> 00:55:22,190 No. Shouldn't think so. 787 00:55:23,596 --> 00:55:25,063 Daniel? 788 00:55:28,034 --> 00:55:29,558 Robert? 789 00:55:30,236 --> 00:55:31,931 Be out in a minute, Mum. 790 00:55:32,038 --> 00:55:33,164 Daniel. 791 00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:36,902 - We need to go outside. - You two stay here and look after him. 792 00:55:38,945 --> 00:55:40,310 Hang on, look after him? 793 00:55:40,380 --> 00:55:42,332 What do you mean look after him? What are we supposed to do? 794 00:55:42,382 --> 00:55:45,613 Just make sure he doesn't escape. Lock the door behind us. 795 00:55:46,686 --> 00:55:48,881 - Daniel? - Hey, Mum. How's it going? 796 00:55:48,955 --> 00:55:50,173 Reverend Davidson needs to speak to you. 797 00:55:50,223 --> 00:55:52,709 We were wondering if we might be able to resume the service now. 798 00:55:52,759 --> 00:55:54,852 Really, I'm only meant to be here until 3:00. 799 00:55:54,928 --> 00:55:57,946 - That's great, but we need to have a chat. - Would you give us another five minutes? 800 00:55:57,996 --> 00:56:00,123 - Sure. - Is there a problem? 801 00:56:01,867 --> 00:56:02,959 Christ. 802 00:56:05,904 --> 00:56:08,429 Why didn't you just pay him the fucking money? 803 00:56:10,042 --> 00:56:11,509 It's your fault. 804 00:56:14,980 --> 00:56:16,413 Where's my tea? 805 00:56:19,418 --> 00:56:22,945 - What's your problem? - Women. 806 00:56:24,790 --> 00:56:30,251 Women, women, women. Let me tell you something about women. 807 00:56:30,329 --> 00:56:34,288 When I was a young man, I used to go out with the most beautiful woman 808 00:56:34,366 --> 00:56:39,029 in the village. I mean, she'd walk into the room and everyone's eyes would turn. 809 00:56:39,103 --> 00:56:41,071 Everyone wanted to fuck her. 810 00:56:41,138 --> 00:56:44,130 And of course she liked the attention, because... 811 00:56:45,810 --> 00:56:47,300 I need a shit. 812 00:56:52,883 --> 00:56:55,909 Shit, I can't believe you gave him five! 813 00:56:55,987 --> 00:56:57,386 Don't blame me for this. 814 00:56:57,455 --> 00:56:59,473 Even if they were Valium, you should never have given him five. 815 00:56:59,523 --> 00:57:01,843 - Don't you know anything? - No, not about giving people... 816 00:57:08,132 --> 00:57:11,624 - Hello? - I need the toilet. 817 00:57:13,137 --> 00:57:16,537 - Can you use the one upstairs? - I'm in a wheelchair, you fucking idiot! 818 00:57:16,606 --> 00:57:21,134 How am I supposed to get up the stairs? Open the door. 819 00:57:21,411 --> 00:57:23,311 Hang on a minute. 820 00:57:23,380 --> 00:57:25,211 What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? 821 00:57:25,281 --> 00:57:26,601 We'll stick him behind the couch. 822 00:57:27,884 --> 00:57:31,445 - Come on, quickly. - Just looking for the key. 823 00:57:31,688 --> 00:57:34,521 Quick! Shut up! 824 00:57:37,527 --> 00:57:39,791 - Hurry up! - Got it! 825 00:57:45,135 --> 00:57:49,003 - Hello. - What the hell is wrong with you people? 826 00:57:49,873 --> 00:57:52,467 I'm about to shit in my trousers. Come on! 827 00:57:55,511 --> 00:57:58,537 - Hey. - Oh, Justin, what do you want? 828 00:57:58,614 --> 00:58:00,241 I just wanna talk to you. 829 00:58:00,315 --> 00:58:02,283 Please don't make me go through this again. 830 00:58:02,351 --> 00:58:04,876 What are you so afraid of, Martha? 831 00:58:04,953 --> 00:58:07,306 I know you feel the same way. You can't fight what we had together. 832 00:58:07,356 --> 00:58:09,415 Justin, it was one night! It was a massive mistake. 833 00:58:09,491 --> 00:58:13,052 I was drunk out of my mind. You could have been a donkey! 834 00:58:13,195 --> 00:58:18,132 - What's this guy got that I don't have? - Okay. Well for one thing, he's responsible. 835 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:22,796 He's thoughtful. He's intelligent. He's stable. Is that enough for you? 836 00:58:35,981 --> 00:58:38,279 Will you stop making out that this is all my fault. 837 00:58:38,350 --> 00:58:39,868 I'm not the one who attacked the guy and tied him up. 838 00:58:39,918 --> 00:58:42,518 - Someone had to look out for Mum. - I've been looking out for Mum 839 00:58:42,588 --> 00:58:44,073 ever since you disappeared off to New York 840 00:58:44,123 --> 00:58:46,091 to gallivant around with your celebrity friends. 841 00:58:46,158 --> 00:58:50,527 You really are unbelievable. You just can't get over it, can you? 842 00:58:50,596 --> 00:58:53,064 - Get over what? - You're burning with jealousy 843 00:58:53,132 --> 00:58:56,397 because you've just spent three years working on a novel, 844 00:58:56,468 --> 00:58:58,721 - and you won't even let anyone see it. - Why should I? Why should I? 845 00:58:58,771 --> 00:58:59,795 What're you gonna do? 846 00:58:59,872 --> 00:59:03,638 - Are you gonna wait until you're dead... - Rather than just a hack writing pulp... 847 00:59:03,709 --> 00:59:06,996 and hope it's published posthumously? Crap, self-righteously. Least my novel... 848 00:59:07,046 --> 00:59:09,298 - You're a pompous arsehole! - And you are the most selfish... 849 00:59:09,348 --> 00:59:10,610 Daniel? 850 00:59:12,184 --> 00:59:15,050 Daniel, what is going on? This is your father's funeral. 851 00:59:15,119 --> 00:59:19,453 - Not now, Jane. Jane, not now. Not now. - Why are you acting like this? 852 00:59:22,126 --> 00:59:26,187 It's the flat, isn't it? It's the flat. You don't want to go, do you? 853 00:59:26,264 --> 00:59:29,131 - You don't want to leave. - Just tell her, Daniel. 854 00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:31,361 Just tell me what? 855 00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:39,901 Jane, you remember that short man that I pointed out to you earlier? 856 00:59:39,977 --> 00:59:40,995 - Remember the short... - Yeah. 857 00:59:41,045 --> 00:59:43,297 Well, it turns out that he was having an affair with Dad, 858 00:59:43,347 --> 00:59:45,400 and now he's blackmailing us into giving him 15,000, 859 00:59:45,450 --> 00:59:48,214 otherwise he's gonna show everyone pictures of them doing stuff. 860 00:59:48,786 --> 00:59:50,515 - Sex stuff. - Yeah. 861 00:59:52,557 --> 00:59:55,992 - Is this some sort of a sick joke? - No, of course it's not a sick joke. 862 01:00:00,230 --> 01:00:02,221 Your dad was a gay? 863 01:00:02,833 --> 01:00:05,461 - Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. - I am. 864 01:00:05,869 --> 01:00:08,167 It's touch and go. Hurry up. 865 01:00:08,238 --> 01:00:10,365 - Quick, quick, quick! - Give me that. Here. 866 01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,759 - Lift, lift. Help me, help me. - All right. I am helping you. 867 01:00:12,809 --> 01:00:14,640 - Put your arms around me then. - Lift me. 868 01:00:15,212 --> 01:00:18,545 Jesus Christ! Fucking hell! You weigh a ton. 869 01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:20,834 - You got me? You got me? - Yes, I've got you. Of course I've got you. 870 01:00:20,884 --> 01:00:22,283 - Quickly, quickly. - All right. 871 01:00:22,352 --> 01:00:24,971 - I'm trying to see where the toilet is. - Now get the trousers down. 872 01:00:25,021 --> 01:00:30,015 - Fuck. No. You do it, I'll hold you. - How can I do it? I'm handicapped! 873 01:00:30,093 --> 01:00:32,856 - Get them down. Get them down. - Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 874 01:00:32,928 --> 01:00:36,523 - Quick! Quick! - I am! Right. Okay. 875 01:00:36,599 --> 01:00:42,629 Underpants. Move! Move! Quick! Quick! It's touch and go! 876 01:00:42,705 --> 01:00:45,902 - Fuck! They're all down! - It's touch and go. Am I there? 877 01:00:45,975 --> 01:00:47,909 - I don't know. Yes! - Am I there? 878 01:00:47,977 --> 01:00:50,411 - Am I there? Are you sure? - Yes. Sit down! Yes! 879 01:00:50,479 --> 01:00:55,075 Just sit down. Sit down. Fuck, hang on, hang on. 880 01:00:55,151 --> 01:00:57,984 That's better. 881 01:01:07,596 --> 01:01:10,190 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Jesus, how much noise do you wanna... 882 01:01:10,266 --> 01:01:13,291 - Oh, God! - Fucking hell! Fuck! Poo! 883 01:01:15,537 --> 01:01:17,630 Fucking hell! 884 01:01:23,278 --> 01:01:24,267 Howard. 885 01:01:24,813 --> 01:01:26,246 Fuck! Fuck! 886 01:01:26,447 --> 01:01:28,972 - Fucking get it off! - Howard. 887 01:01:29,050 --> 01:01:32,451 - Something, please, get it off! Get it off! - Howard! 888 01:01:32,587 --> 01:01:37,752 - What? What? - You've missed a bit. 889 01:01:42,730 --> 01:01:48,999 Oh, fuck! It's in my mouth! Fucking hell! I'm gonna be sick! 890 01:01:50,638 --> 01:01:54,596 You'll have a lot more to worry about than shit in your mouth if we get caught! 891 01:01:54,875 --> 01:01:57,309 - It's in my mouth! - It's gone. Leave the tap on! 892 01:01:59,079 --> 01:02:01,946 I'm gonna be sick! I'm gonna be sick! Please! Please! 893 01:02:15,362 --> 01:02:18,798 Check him. Touch him or something. Check him. 894 01:02:19,700 --> 01:02:21,964 You all right, mate? 895 01:02:23,437 --> 01:02:24,563 Try it again. 896 01:02:26,673 --> 01:02:30,665 - Mate? Mate? - Wake him up. 897 01:02:31,644 --> 01:02:34,909 - Mate? What's his name? - I don't know. 898 01:02:36,382 --> 01:02:37,815 Try Philip. 899 01:02:46,459 --> 01:02:49,519 - Philip? - Shake him. 900 01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:56,896 Philip? Wake up, mate. You all right? 901 01:02:58,437 --> 01:02:59,426 Philip? 902 01:03:03,809 --> 01:03:09,406 Maybe it's not Philip. Maybe it's something else. Pinch him. 903 01:03:09,482 --> 01:03:11,108 Please, just pinch him. 904 01:03:15,186 --> 01:03:16,312 Mate? 905 01:03:19,658 --> 01:03:21,990 Shit, I don't think he's breathing. 906 01:03:23,662 --> 01:03:24,686 What? 907 01:03:24,763 --> 01:03:27,857 No, he must be breathing, he must be breathing. 908 01:03:40,278 --> 01:03:41,438 Shit! 909 01:03:42,514 --> 01:03:44,675 - Is he all right? - No. 910 01:03:47,085 --> 01:03:48,177 He's fucking dead. 911 01:03:53,390 --> 01:03:55,743 That's it, then, isn't it? We're just gonna have to give him our money. 912 01:03:55,793 --> 01:03:58,193 Well, it's not gonna be quite as simple as that. 913 01:03:58,262 --> 01:03:59,286 Well, why not? 914 01:03:59,363 --> 01:04:02,355 Daniel refused to pay, so now we're completely fucked. 915 01:04:02,433 --> 01:04:04,526 - Just shut up. Just shut up. - What happened? 916 01:04:18,582 --> 01:04:21,483 Hi. Sorry. Thanks. 917 01:04:24,621 --> 01:04:26,987 Hi. Sorry, can I? 918 01:04:30,693 --> 01:04:32,854 Can I just come through? Thank you. 919 01:04:41,838 --> 01:04:44,136 What the hell are you grinning at, Howard? 920 01:04:46,642 --> 01:04:51,170 Wonder if I could ask you two to pop into the study for a second? 921 01:04:55,651 --> 01:04:58,142 - Back soon. - Yeah, okay. 922 01:05:01,791 --> 01:05:03,156 It's Howard. 923 01:05:10,899 --> 01:05:13,959 Hey, Jesus, what's this? What's this? 924 01:05:15,404 --> 01:05:17,065 - Call Uncle Victor. - There's no point. 925 01:05:17,139 --> 01:05:19,819 - What do you mean there's no point? - Look at him. He's stone dead. 926 01:05:24,413 --> 01:05:28,110 - What the hell did you do to him? - We didn't do anything. 927 01:05:28,183 --> 01:05:31,619 - He hit his head on the corner. - He hit his head on the corner? 928 01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:35,281 He hit his head. That's what happened. Why, what do you think happened? 929 01:05:35,357 --> 01:05:38,053 This is really, really bad. This is really, really, really bad. 930 01:05:38,126 --> 01:05:39,354 What are we gonna do? 931 01:05:39,428 --> 01:05:41,580 - Actually, I've really got to go. - You are not going anywhere. 932 01:05:41,630 --> 01:05:43,689 Listen, I cannot go to prison. 933 01:05:43,765 --> 01:05:46,256 Do you have any idea what they do to blokes like me in prison? 934 01:05:47,002 --> 01:05:50,129 - I cannot go to prison. - Howard, just calm down. 935 01:05:59,013 --> 01:06:03,313 Now, nobody here knows who this guy is, right? They don't even know his name. 936 01:06:03,384 --> 01:06:05,579 They probably didn't even notice him. 937 01:06:05,653 --> 01:06:07,733 They didn't notice him? He's four fucking feet tall! 938 01:06:08,656 --> 01:06:12,057 All right, so we just get rid of the body. It's like he came and left. 939 01:06:12,827 --> 01:06:15,853 Let's get rid of the body? What are you talking about? 940 01:06:15,930 --> 01:06:18,899 Look at us. What do we know about getting rid of bodies? 941 01:06:18,966 --> 01:06:21,958 What are you gonna do? Are you gonna throw him out with the rubbish? 942 01:06:23,871 --> 01:06:26,431 Did any of you happen to notice the size of Uncle Eddie's coffin? 943 01:06:29,676 --> 01:06:32,611 Are you suggesting that we bury him with my father? 944 01:06:33,413 --> 01:06:36,314 Why not? I mean, it's not like he's gonna know, is he? 945 01:06:37,584 --> 01:06:39,381 That's not the point. 946 01:06:42,288 --> 01:06:45,724 You have to admit it makes sense, Daniel. Coffin's there. 947 01:06:45,792 --> 01:06:49,193 Hole in the ground's there. He'll be gone. Finished. End of story. 948 01:06:49,262 --> 01:06:52,527 Unless you've got a better suggestion. 949 01:07:03,143 --> 01:07:04,405 No, I mean, come on, look. 950 01:07:04,477 --> 01:07:07,775 I mean, you gotta do whatever it is in life that fires you up the most. 951 01:07:07,846 --> 01:07:11,839 Yes, but maybe I don't consider life anymore as being about me, me, me. 952 01:07:11,917 --> 01:07:15,478 Maybe I've discovered there's something outside of myself that I care about, 953 01:07:15,554 --> 01:07:17,715 and maybe you should too, Justin. 954 01:07:17,789 --> 01:07:21,555 Hey, well, that's a bit harsh, 'cause, look, I mean, I care about you. 955 01:07:21,627 --> 01:07:23,618 No, Justin, you care about you. 956 01:07:23,695 --> 01:07:26,630 You care about me in relation to how I affect you. There's a difference. 957 01:07:26,698 --> 01:07:27,892 Uh-uh. 958 01:07:27,966 --> 01:07:31,299 No, that's not true, Martha. 959 01:07:31,670 --> 01:07:35,128 Justin, I don't know what else I need to tell you. 960 01:07:36,041 --> 01:07:38,100 - I love you, Martha. - No, Justin, you don't. 961 01:07:43,315 --> 01:07:45,249 - Jesus fucking Christ! - Simon! 962 01:07:46,417 --> 01:07:47,577 Simon! 963 01:07:48,319 --> 01:07:50,879 Simon! Simon, what the hell are you doing? 964 01:07:50,955 --> 01:07:53,107 Get back in here and put your clothes on this instant! 965 01:07:53,157 --> 01:07:56,558 - I saw you kissing him. - I wasn't kissing him, I promise you. 966 01:07:56,627 --> 01:07:59,061 What are you doing? We're at a bloody funeral! 967 01:07:59,130 --> 01:08:01,496 - I'll jump. - Simon, don't be silly. 968 01:08:01,566 --> 01:08:04,433 - I'm gonna jump right now, I swear to you! - Don't be silly, Simon. 969 01:08:04,502 --> 01:08:07,869 Don't be silly. Remember, you've got drugs in you. 970 01:08:07,939 --> 01:08:13,002 Just calm down. Simon, look at me. Justin, will you get the fuck out of here? 971 01:08:13,211 --> 01:08:16,738 - Simon, please... - No, I'm going to do it. I'm going... 972 01:08:17,715 --> 01:08:18,766 - Simon, look at me. - I swear I am! 973 01:08:18,816 --> 01:08:21,876 Simon. Please, just calm down. Simon, please. 974 01:08:21,953 --> 01:08:23,716 I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump. 975 01:08:24,222 --> 01:08:28,180 I'm going to jump. I'm going to jump. I'm going to jump! 976 01:08:29,226 --> 01:08:31,990 - This is impossible. We cannot do it. - Just shut up. 977 01:08:32,062 --> 01:08:33,222 Howard? Is that you? 978 01:08:34,464 --> 01:08:36,159 - Shit! - Howard, are you in there? 979 01:08:36,233 --> 01:08:37,222 Yeah. 980 01:08:38,101 --> 01:08:42,663 Quick, get him in the bathroom. You've gotta move the table. 981 01:08:43,406 --> 01:08:44,600 Howard? 982 01:08:50,580 --> 01:08:52,275 - Oh, shit! - What's that? 983 01:08:53,717 --> 01:08:56,151 Howard, what the fuck is Uncle Alfie doing on the toilet? 984 01:08:56,219 --> 01:08:58,380 - I forgot. - How could you forget? 985 01:08:58,455 --> 01:09:01,720 - What is wrong with you? - Open the bloody door. 986 01:09:03,059 --> 01:09:04,424 - What is it? - Hey, Daniel. 987 01:09:04,494 --> 01:09:05,892 - Where's Howard? - I'm here. 988 01:09:05,961 --> 01:09:09,556 Howard, come see this. Simon's totally fucking lost it. 989 01:09:12,534 --> 01:09:14,195 - What's going on? - Nothing. 990 01:09:14,270 --> 01:09:17,535 Listen, Simon's on the roof. He's totally fucking starkers, 991 01:09:17,606 --> 01:09:20,097 - and he's threatening to jump. - Oh, Christ! 992 01:09:20,175 --> 01:09:22,405 - Where are you going? - I have to go out there. 993 01:09:22,478 --> 01:09:25,709 - If he jumps, I'm fucked! - Wait here. 994 01:09:27,449 --> 01:09:28,916 Come on, hurry up. 995 01:09:35,457 --> 01:09:37,391 Simon, you are not going to jump. 996 01:09:37,459 --> 01:09:40,189 No, I'm not listening to you. 997 01:09:40,262 --> 01:09:42,730 Simon, get back in here. 998 01:09:43,699 --> 01:09:46,189 Simon, come inside, we'll have a cup of tea. 999 01:09:46,701 --> 01:09:50,797 - No! - Simon! Simon! 1000 01:09:52,740 --> 01:09:55,402 Simon? Simon? 1001 01:09:57,812 --> 01:09:59,074 Simon? 1002 01:10:05,620 --> 01:10:06,746 Simon! 1003 01:10:06,821 --> 01:10:09,085 Martha! What the hell are you doing? 1004 01:10:09,857 --> 01:10:10,846 Simon! 1005 01:10:13,227 --> 01:10:14,819 Stay there. 1006 01:10:16,631 --> 01:10:17,655 Martha! 1007 01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:19,824 Get down from there! 1008 01:10:23,071 --> 01:10:24,554 - What's happening? - I think I can get rid of this guy, 1009 01:10:24,604 --> 01:10:27,266 but I need you to stay outside and make sure nobody comes in. 1010 01:10:27,341 --> 01:10:28,330 Okay. 1011 01:10:29,409 --> 01:10:30,398 Martha! 1012 01:10:35,582 --> 01:10:37,709 - Who is it? - It's Daniel. Let me in. 1013 01:10:37,951 --> 01:10:40,037 Everyone's in the garden. Quick, we have to move the body now! 1014 01:10:40,087 --> 01:10:41,076 Brilliant. 1015 01:10:46,426 --> 01:10:48,621 Okay. Quick. Quick. 1016 01:10:48,695 --> 01:10:50,714 Howard, Howard, stay here. Make sure no one comes in. 1017 01:10:50,764 --> 01:10:52,891 Okay, okay. 1018 01:10:55,202 --> 01:10:57,796 Hello, Reverend. Hi. Hi. 1019 01:10:58,805 --> 01:11:00,830 How is God today? 1020 01:11:07,713 --> 01:11:09,553 - God, he's a funny one, isn't he? - Excuse me. 1021 01:11:09,615 --> 01:11:11,207 Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. 1022 01:11:12,618 --> 01:11:15,314 Daniel, we have to do this right. 1023 01:11:20,259 --> 01:11:23,251 I just wanted to ask you about religion and how I could become a priest 1024 01:11:23,329 --> 01:11:25,314 if I wanted to, because I've seen you today and you're amazing. 1025 01:11:25,364 --> 01:11:26,991 I'm delighted to hear that. 1026 01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:30,628 Oh, God, we can't leave him like that. 1027 01:11:35,674 --> 01:11:38,094 You know, in a strange way, maybe this is what Dad would have wanted. 1028 01:11:38,144 --> 01:11:40,504 For God's sake, Robert, can you not take anything seriously? 1029 01:11:40,780 --> 01:11:44,408 On Sundays, is it true 1030 01:11:44,482 --> 01:11:48,350 that wine is sweeter? 1031 01:11:49,988 --> 01:11:52,855 - Or not? - Listen, we'll deal with this later on. 1032 01:11:52,924 --> 01:11:55,392 - I need to get to the phone. - Yeah, but... 1033 01:11:57,896 --> 01:11:59,481 Why do you say I can't take anything seriously? 1034 01:11:59,531 --> 01:12:02,193 I'll tell you why. Because you disappear halfway around the world 1035 01:12:02,267 --> 01:12:04,119 without hardly ever coming back to see your parents. 1036 01:12:04,169 --> 01:12:06,755 Because you spend your last remaining money on a first-class plane ticket 1037 01:12:06,805 --> 01:12:08,790 when you know you were supposed to give me half for the funeral. 1038 01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:10,859 And because you live your life like you're on a fairground ride, 1039 01:12:10,909 --> 01:12:12,467 and because you have never, ever, ever 1040 01:12:12,544 --> 01:12:14,876 given a shit about anybody except yourself. 1041 01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:18,478 No one's doing anything about this disturbed young man on the roof. 1042 01:12:18,550 --> 01:12:22,316 I have a confession to make. I have these thoughts about 1043 01:12:22,387 --> 01:12:26,322 - pushing a pen up my bum! - I beg your pardon? 1044 01:12:27,324 --> 01:12:32,626 Simon, this is really dangerous. Please. 1045 01:12:33,230 --> 01:12:37,257 - I saw you. - Stay there. 1046 01:12:52,983 --> 01:12:57,784 You know, I'll never be good enough. 1047 01:12:58,889 --> 01:13:03,587 Not for your dad, not for you. I'll never be rich enough. I'll never be cool enough. 1048 01:13:03,659 --> 01:13:06,423 Simon, stop talking this nonsense and just come inside. 1049 01:13:06,496 --> 01:13:08,589 No, you go back inside! 1050 01:13:08,664 --> 01:13:10,655 - Come with me. - No. Why? 1051 01:13:15,004 --> 01:13:17,438 Because we're gonna have a baby. 1052 01:13:21,344 --> 01:13:22,606 What? 1053 01:13:23,746 --> 01:13:26,909 We're gonna have a child together. 1054 01:13:31,687 --> 01:13:32,881 You're pregnant? 1055 01:13:32,955 --> 01:13:35,890 And I won't be able to do it without you. 1056 01:14:02,851 --> 01:14:05,251 - What's that? Excuse me. - I don't know. Go look. 1057 01:14:11,593 --> 01:14:13,060 Bye, Dad. 1058 01:14:24,939 --> 01:14:27,430 We're gonna have a baby! 1059 01:14:29,443 --> 01:14:31,673 Jesus Christ! 1060 01:14:37,585 --> 01:14:39,780 Hey, everyone, Simon's off the roof! 1061 01:14:41,355 --> 01:14:42,947 I'm going to kill him. 1062 01:14:56,236 --> 01:14:59,433 - Hey, has he gone? - Yeah. 1063 01:14:59,506 --> 01:15:01,837 Thank God. 1064 01:15:03,910 --> 01:15:05,639 Careful, careful. 1065 01:15:08,748 --> 01:15:11,308 - Thank you. - Martha. 1066 01:15:11,417 --> 01:15:13,749 Martha, will you open this door? 1067 01:15:17,023 --> 01:15:22,120 Thank God you're safe. You idiot! What were you thinking? 1068 01:15:22,195 --> 01:15:24,493 I want you to stay away from my daughter. 1069 01:15:24,564 --> 01:15:26,361 - Look, Dad... - Martha, stay out of this. 1070 01:15:26,432 --> 01:15:29,060 - Dad, we're getting married. - You're what? 1071 01:15:29,135 --> 01:15:31,899 We're getting married. 1072 01:15:33,506 --> 01:15:37,465 Martha, you don't have to marry this man just because you're pregnant. 1073 01:15:37,543 --> 01:15:41,342 - We can deal with this, Martha. - I'm marrying him because I love him. 1074 01:15:41,847 --> 01:15:43,576 - You can't. - Yes, I can. 1075 01:15:43,649 --> 01:15:45,310 This is my life, and this is my choice, 1076 01:15:45,384 --> 01:15:48,876 and I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's just tough. 1077 01:15:50,489 --> 01:15:54,687 And I will tell you something else. If you don't sort out your attitude, 1078 01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:58,526 you're gonna end up a very lonely, bitter old man. 1079 01:15:59,698 --> 01:16:01,666 - Simon. - All right. 1080 01:16:05,404 --> 01:16:06,496 Dad! 1081 01:16:09,408 --> 01:16:12,673 Oh, darling, we really must start again now. 1082 01:16:12,744 --> 01:16:15,770 - Daniel, have you seen Uncle Alfie? - Shit! 1083 01:16:29,827 --> 01:16:32,318 - What the hell is going on in there? - I'm so sorry. 1084 01:16:32,396 --> 01:16:35,149 Never mind that. What about that dead body you were dragging over here? 1085 01:16:35,199 --> 01:16:37,064 - What dead body? - Oh, don't fuck with me! 1086 01:16:37,134 --> 01:16:39,534 - I saw a dead body! - Uncle Alfie must have dropped off. 1087 01:16:39,603 --> 01:16:44,006 Get me the hell off of this fucking toilet! 1088 01:16:44,542 --> 01:16:45,839 Here they come. 1089 01:16:55,686 --> 01:16:57,347 Did you hear that? She's having a kid. 1090 01:16:57,421 --> 01:16:59,472 I never would've done anything if I'd known she was having a kid. 1091 01:16:59,522 --> 01:17:00,607 I thought you were in love with her. 1092 01:17:00,657 --> 01:17:03,421 Yeah, but can you imagine me bringing up a kid? 1093 01:17:03,493 --> 01:17:05,154 - No. - Exactly. 1094 01:17:05,228 --> 01:17:07,662 - How's your skin thing? - Oh, that. Probably nothing. 1095 01:17:07,731 --> 01:17:11,667 To be honest, I'm more concerned about having had Uncle Alfie's shit in my mouth. 1096 01:17:23,079 --> 01:17:25,673 The door opened, I saw him. He was dead. 1097 01:17:25,749 --> 01:17:29,947 Why won't you listen? I tell you, I saw the guy. He was dead. 1098 01:17:30,019 --> 01:17:32,487 I know you did, Uncle Alfie. We all did. 1099 01:17:32,555 --> 01:17:34,750 No, no, no, in the bathroom. 1100 01:17:34,824 --> 01:17:35,916 The door opened. I saw... 1101 01:17:35,992 --> 01:17:38,619 I can't believe what a nightmare today has been. 1102 01:17:38,694 --> 01:17:40,889 - It's been sort of exciting, hasn't it? - What? 1103 01:17:40,963 --> 01:17:43,625 - For a funeral, I mean, it's been... - Listen, about the flat, 1104 01:17:43,699 --> 01:17:47,658 - I promise that I will make the call. I will. - We'll work it out. 1105 01:17:49,505 --> 01:17:51,256 Right, we're really going to have to whiz through this now. 1106 01:17:51,306 --> 01:17:52,432 Sure, let's go. 1107 01:17:52,508 --> 01:17:54,499 - Do you want to have the casket open... - No. No. 1108 01:17:54,576 --> 01:17:55,634 Fine. That's fine. 1109 01:17:55,711 --> 01:17:58,805 Right. Sit down, everybody. As quick as you can. We're ready to go. 1110 01:17:59,281 --> 01:18:03,012 Come along. Come on, come on. Come on. Right. 1111 01:18:04,319 --> 01:18:08,312 Quickly! Come on, come on, come on, come on. 1112 01:18:09,324 --> 01:18:12,157 Come on, come on, come on! 1113 01:18:13,796 --> 01:18:16,715 Well, I'd like to apologize on behalf of the family for all of the distractions. 1114 01:18:16,765 --> 01:18:19,250 I hope that everyone is settled and ready to continue with the service, 1115 01:18:19,300 --> 01:18:21,018 and Daniel would like to say a few words about his father. 1116 01:18:21,068 --> 01:18:23,298 Off you go, Daniel. Quickly. 1117 01:18:39,987 --> 01:18:43,889 "My father was an exceptional man." 1118 01:19:04,277 --> 01:19:07,769 "My father was an exceptional man." 1119 01:19:17,991 --> 01:19:21,483 "He was born in 1938, just a year before the war, and I'll never forget the..." 1120 01:19:25,131 --> 01:19:28,100 - What the hell is going on? - There's someone in there! 1121 01:19:28,168 --> 01:19:29,897 I knew it! 1122 01:19:39,078 --> 01:19:42,172 What the hell are you doing in my dad's coffin? 1123 01:19:44,683 --> 01:19:47,777 - Edward! - No! No! 1124 01:19:48,020 --> 01:19:49,487 No! 1125 01:19:49,555 --> 01:19:52,217 Edward! Edward! 1126 01:19:57,429 --> 01:19:59,294 No! 1127 01:20:12,344 --> 01:20:15,780 You little bastard! He's been shagging you, you bastard. 1128 01:20:18,716 --> 01:20:20,149 Oh, dear God! 1129 01:20:20,485 --> 01:20:23,181 My father was an exceptional man! 1130 01:20:47,612 --> 01:20:52,311 He may not have been a perfect man, but he was a good man. 1131 01:20:54,352 --> 01:20:55,716 And he loved us. 1132 01:21:00,958 --> 01:21:03,398 All I wanted to do today was to give him a dignified send-off. 1133 01:21:03,460 --> 01:21:05,485 Is that really so much to ask? 1134 01:21:12,035 --> 01:21:13,024 So... 1135 01:21:15,906 --> 01:21:17,168 Maybe... 1136 01:21:19,609 --> 01:21:25,241 Maybe he had some things he liked to do. Life isn't simple. It's complicated. 1137 01:21:28,385 --> 01:21:34,620 We're all just thrown in here together in a world full of chaos and confusion, 1138 01:21:35,925 --> 01:21:40,794 a world full of questions and no answers. Death always lingering around the corner. 1139 01:21:40,863 --> 01:21:42,455 And we do our best. 1140 01:21:45,101 --> 01:21:49,231 We can only do our best, and my dad did his best. 1141 01:22:02,151 --> 01:22:04,637 He always tried to tell me that you have to go for what you want in life, 1142 01:22:04,687 --> 01:22:06,305 because you never know how long you're gonna be here. 1143 01:22:06,355 --> 01:22:11,122 And whether you succeed or you fail, 1144 01:22:11,193 --> 01:22:13,991 the most important thing is to have tried. 1145 01:22:16,464 --> 01:22:18,450 A parent can only guide you in the right direction. 1146 01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:21,333 In the end, you have to learn for yourself. 1147 01:22:26,574 --> 01:22:28,769 You have to grow up yourself. 1148 01:22:34,682 --> 01:22:36,775 So when you all leave here today, 1149 01:22:38,219 --> 01:22:42,053 I would like you to remember my father for who he really was, 1150 01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:46,818 a decent, loving man. 1151 01:22:51,499 --> 01:22:55,628 If only we could be as giving and as generous and as 1152 01:22:55,702 --> 01:23:01,937 understanding as my father was, then the world would be a far better place. 1153 01:23:41,781 --> 01:23:44,750 Hey. How's Mum doing? 1154 01:23:46,752 --> 01:23:48,515 She'll survive. 1155 01:23:51,958 --> 01:23:55,121 On the positive side, now she knows why it's been so long 1156 01:23:55,194 --> 01:23:56,923 since she and Dad had sex. 1157 01:24:01,834 --> 01:24:04,826 I asked her to come to New York with me for a while. 1158 01:24:05,304 --> 01:24:08,740 Give you and Jane a chance to breathe a bit, you know. 1159 01:24:09,375 --> 01:24:13,276 - Get your flat. - Wow. 1160 01:24:13,879 --> 01:24:14,868 Wow. 1161 01:24:16,781 --> 01:24:22,014 That was a pretty good speech you gave, by the way. It was really 1162 01:24:26,992 --> 01:24:30,723 - impressive. - Thanks. 1163 01:24:35,834 --> 01:24:40,669 Maybe when you've got time, you wouldn't mind taking a look at my novel. 1164 01:24:41,206 --> 01:24:44,198 I'd love to, yeah. 1165 01:24:47,646 --> 01:24:49,546 Hey. Hey. 1166 01:24:51,516 --> 01:24:53,676 I'm exhausted, actually. 1167 01:24:53,751 --> 01:24:57,243 Uncle Alfie keeps going on about the body in the bathroom. 1168 01:24:57,321 --> 01:24:59,551 - I think it's best if he stays here tonight. - Yeah. 1169 01:24:59,623 --> 01:25:02,751 - Do you think he'll be okay? - Yeah. Yeah, he'll be fine. 1170 01:25:02,826 --> 01:25:05,624 I found him a couple of Valium, put him to bed. 1171 01:25:09,166 --> 01:25:11,999 Everything's so fucking green! 1172 01:25:33,389 --> 01:25:35,050 And keep rolling. 1173 01:25:35,892 --> 01:25:37,621 What was that? 1174 01:25:44,867 --> 01:25:46,528 Cut, print, check it. 1175 01:25:53,243 --> 01:25:57,976 - That is so low. That's so low. - What? Come on! You said cut! 1176 01:25:58,615 --> 01:26:02,073 Daniel, have... Oh, you bastard! 1177 01:26:03,019 --> 01:26:04,486 Jane Asher! Sorry. 1178 01:26:07,156 --> 01:26:10,023 Do that... Do that again, sorry. Do that again, sorry. 1179 01:26:13,528 --> 01:26:16,497 Cut. Check it. Very nice, though, guys. 1180 01:26:20,736 --> 01:26:22,704 Print. Check it. 1181 01:26:24,840 --> 01:26:28,503 Cut! Cut. Print it. 1182 01:26:30,679 --> 01:26:32,738 That was very good. 1183 01:26:34,683 --> 01:26:36,913 Anything else you wanna do, Peter? 1184 01:26:37,386 --> 01:26:38,580 That's a cut. 1185 01:26:39,721 --> 01:26:40,813 Check it.