当哈利遇到莎莉...
当时我正和朋友 亚瑟·康布姆 I was sitting with my friend, Arthur Cornbloom,
一起坐在餐厅里 in a restaurant.
那是一家霍恩和哈达特餐厅 It was an Horn & Hardart cafeteria
这位美女走了进来 然后我转向亚瑟 and this beautiful girl walked in and I turned to Arthur
我说"亚瑟 你看到那个姑娘了吗 and I said, "Arthur, you see that girl?
我要娶她" I'm going to marry her."
两周后 我们就结婚了 And two weeks later we were married
五十年过去了 我们依然是夫妻 and it's over 50 years later and we are still married.
芝加哥大学 1977年
我爱你 I love you.
你好 莎莉 Oh hi, Sally.
莎莉 这位是哈利·伯恩斯 Sally, this is Harry Burns.
哈利 她是莎莉·奥布莱特 Harry, this is Sally Albright.
幸会 Nice to meet you.
你想先开第一段吗 You wanna drive the first shift?
不 你已经在驾驶座上了 你先开吧 No, you're there already, you can start.
后备厢开着 Back's open.
记得联系我 Call me.
我一到就会联系你 I'll call you as soon as I get there.
路上也记得联系我 Call me from the road.
我在上路之前就会联系你 I'll call you before that.
-我爱你 -我爱你 - I love you. - I love you.
抱歉 Sorry.
我已经开始想你了 I miss you already.
我会想你的 I miss you.
我已经开始想你了 I miss you already.
再见 Bye.
我已经规划好了 I have it all figured out.
一共要开十八小时的车 It's an 18 hour trip,
我们分为六段 每段三小时 which breaks down into six shifts of three hours each
或者我们也可以按照里程数来分段 or alternatively we can break it down by mileage.
那里有... There is a...
遮阳板里有一份地图 There's a map on the visor
我在上面已经标记出了 that I've marked to show the locations
可以换人开车的地点 where we can change shifts.
吃葡萄吗 Grape?
不了 我不喜欢在正餐之间吃东西 No, I don't like to eat between meals.
我来摇下车窗 I'll roll down the window.
不如跟我说说你的人生经历吧 Why don't you tell me the story of your life?
我的人生经历 The story of my life?
在到纽约之前 我们有十八个小时要打发 We got 18 hours to kill before we hit New York.
还没等我们开出芝加哥 我的人生经历就会说完了 The story of my life isn't even gonna get us out of Chicago.
我目前还没有什么特别的经历 I mean, nothing's happened to me yet.
所以我才要去纽约 That's why I'm going to New York.
这样就可以经历一些特别的事吗 So something can happen to you?
-是的 -比如说呢 - Yes. - Like what?
比如去上新闻学院 成为一名记者 Like I'm going to journalism school to become a reporter.
这样你就可以记录他人的经历了 So you can write about things that happen to other people.
可以这么说吧 That's one way to look at it.
假如你不会经历任何特别的事 Suppose nothing happens to you.
假如你这辈子都不会经历什么特别的事 Suppose you lived out your whole life and nothing happens,
你没有遇见任何特别的人 也没有任何成就 you never meet anybody, you never become anything
最终一个人默默无闻地死在了纽约 and finally you die in one of those New York deaths
整整两周过去都没有任何人发现 where nobody notices for two weeks
直到臭味都散发到了走廊上 until the smell drifts into the hallway.
阿曼达说过 你有阴暗面 Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
这才是我吸引她的地方 That's what drew her to me.
你的阴暗面吗 Your dark side?
没错 Sure.
怎么 你没有阴暗面吗 Why, don't you have a dark side?
不 你大概是那种充满乐观的人 No, you're probably one of those cheerful people
还会用小爱心代替"i"上的点 who dots their i's with little hearts.
我跟大家一样 也有阴暗面 I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.
是吗 Really?
买了新书后 我总会先看最后一页 When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first.
这样的话 就算我在看完书之前死了 That way, in case I die before I finish,
我也会知道结局 I know how it ends.
我的朋友 这才叫阴暗面 That, my friend, is a dark side.
这也不能说明你这人思想很深邃 That doesn't mean you're deep or anything.
我是说 I mean,
没错 我基本算是个乐观的人 yes, basically I'm a happy person.
我也是 So am I.
我并不认为保持乐观有什么问题 And I don't see that there's anything wrong with that.
当然 你光忙着乐观了 Of course not, you're too busy being happy.
你想过死亡吗 Do you ever think about death?
想过 Yes.
你当然想过了 Sure you do.
只是一个短暂的念头 在你心中转瞬即逝 A fleeting thought that jumps in and out of the transient of your mind.
我会花上好几小时 好几天来思考死亡 I spend hours, I spend days.
你觉得这样就让你成为一个更好的人了吗 And you think this makes you a better person?
你看 当不幸发生的时候 Look, when the shit comes down,
我会做好心理准备 而你不会 I'm gonna be prepared and you're not,
我只是这个意思罢了 that's all I'm saying.
与此同时 And in the mean time,
你会因为一直等待不幸的发生 而毁了你的一生 you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it.
你错了 You're wrong!
我没错 I'm not wrong.
你错了 You're wrong!
他希望她离开 He wants her to leave.
所以他才送她上飞机 That's why he puts her on the plane.
我不认为她想留下 I don't think she wants to stay.
她当然想留下 Of course she wants to stay.
如果是你 难道不会更想留在亨弗莱·鲍嘉身边吗 Wouldn't you rather be with Humphrey Bogart than the other guy?
我不希望嫁给一个开酒吧的人 I don't want to spend the rest of my life
然后在卡萨布兰卡度过我的余生 in Casablanca married to a man who runs a bar.
你可能会觉得我很势利 但我不是 That probably sounds very snobbish to you but I don't.
你宁愿要一段没有激情的婚姻 You'd rather be in a passionless marriage.
以及成为捷克斯洛伐克的第一夫人 And be the First Lady of Czechoslovakia.
而不愿和与你共享了一生中最美妙性爱的男人在一起 Than live with the man you've had the greatest sex of you life with,
仅仅因为他只是个开酒吧的 just because he owns a bar and that is all he does?
没错 Yes.
只要是个脑子正常的女人 都会这么选 And so would any woman in her right mind.
女人都很现实 甚至连英格丽·褒曼也一样 Women are very practical, even Ingrid Bergman,
所以她才在电影结尾登上了飞机 which is why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie.
我明白了 I understand.
什么 What?
明白什么了 What?
没什么 Nothing.
到底是什么 What?
当我没说吧 Forget about it.
什么 当你没说过什么 What, forget about what?
这不重要 It's not important.
告诉我 Just tell me.
很显然 你还没体验过美妙的性爱 Obviously you haven't had great sex yet.
两位 谢谢 Two please.
坐那边吧 Right over there.
我当然体验过 Yes I have.
不 你没有 No you haven't.
我正好体验过很多不错的性爱 It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex.
和谁呢 With whom?
什么 What?
你和谁一起体验过美妙的性爱 With whom did you have this great sex?
我才不会告诉你 I'm not gonna tell you that.
好吧 那就别告诉我 Fine, don't tell me.
谢尔·戈登 Shel Gordon.
谢尔 谢尔顿吗 Shel? Sheldon?
不 你不可能和谢尔顿有过美妙的性爱 No, no, you didn't have great sex with Sheldon.
我当然有过 I did too.
不 你没有 No you didn't.
谢尔顿可以帮你处理收入所得税单 A Sheldon can do your income taxes.
如果你需要做牙根管手术 找谢尔顿没错 If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man,
但做爱不是谢尔顿的强项 but humping and pumping is not Sheldon's strong suit.
是他名字的原因 It's the name.
"蹂躏我吧 谢尔顿 你就是头野兽 谢尔顿 "Do it to me, Sheldon, you're an animal, Sheldon,
在我身上驰骋吧 谢尔顿" Ride me big Sheldon."
听着就不行 Doesn't work.
你们要点些什么 What can I get you?
我要一份三号餐 I'll have the number three.
我要一份主厨沙拉 谢谢 I'd like the chef salad, please,
沙拉油和醋要放在旁边 with the oil and vinegar on the side
还要一份浇了冰淇淋的苹果派 and the apple pie a la mode.
主厨沙拉和浇冰淇淋的苹果派 Chef and apple a la mode.
把派烤热一点 But I'd like the pie heated
不要把冰淇淋浇在派上 要浇在旁边 and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side
如果有的话 我想要草莓味的冰淇淋 and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it.
如果没有 那就不要冰淇淋 只要奶油 If not, then no ice cream just whipped cream
但必须得是现做的 如果是罐装奶油就什么也不要了 but only if it's real, if it's out of a can then nothing.
连派也不要了吗 Not even the pie?
不 只要一份没有烤热的派 No, just the pie but then not heated.
怎么了 What?
没事 没事 Nothing, nothing.
你怎么会和谢尔顿分手 So, how come you broke up with Sheldon?
你怎么知道我们分手了 How do you know we broke up?
因为如果你们没分手 Because if you didn't break up,
你就不会和我在一起了 you wouldn't be here with me.
和你在一起的将会是大屌谢尔顿 You'd be off with Sheldon the wonder-schlong.
首先 我没有和你"在一起" First of all, I am not "With" You,
其次 我们分手的理由和你没关系 and second of all, it is none of your business why we broke up.
没错 你说得对 You're right, you're right.
反正我也不想知道 I don't wanna know.
如果你非得知道的话 Well if you must know,
是因为他这人太爱吃醋了 it was because he was very jealous
还有就是我会穿星期内裤 and I had these days-of-the-week underpants.
不好意思 这我得好好弄清楚 I'm sorry, I need a judge's ruling on this.
"星期内裤" "Days-of-week underpants."
没错 Yes.
上面印了一星期对应的天数 They had the days of the week on them
我觉得还挺有意思的 and I thought they were sort of funny.
有一天 谢尔顿对我说 And then one day, Sheldon says to me,
"你从不穿周日内裤" "You never wear Sunday."
他开始多疑 "周日内裤去哪儿了" It's all suspicious, "Where was Sunday?
"周日内裤被我丢到哪儿去了" "Where had I left Sunday?"
我告诉了他 但他不相信我 And I told him and he didn't believe me.
你说什么了 What?
根本就没有周日内裤 They don't make Sunday.
为什么 Why not?
因为上帝 Because of God.
好的 我餐费的15% Okay, so 15 percent of my share
是九十美分 is 90.
六块九 6.90.
就留七块吧 This leaves seven.
怎么了 What?
我脸上有东西吗 Do I have something on my face?
你很漂亮 You're a very attractive person.
谢谢 Thank you.
阿曼达从没说过你很漂亮 Amanda never said how attractive you were.
也许她不认为我长得漂亮 Well may be she doesn't think I'm attractive.
我觉得这和个人看法无关 I don't think it's a matter of opinion.
你本来就很漂亮 Empirically, you are attractive.
阿曼达是我朋友 Amanda is my friend.
所以呢 So?
你和她在一起了 So, you're going with her.
所以呢 So?
你在勾搭我 So you're coming on to me.
不 我没有 No I wasn't.
怎么了 What?
难道男人夸女人漂亮 Can't a man say a woman is attractive
就一定是在勾搭她吗 without it being a come-on?
好吧 好吧 All right, all right.
单纯为了讨论清楚 这么说吧 Let's just say, just for the sake of argument,
我刚刚不是在勾搭你 that it was a come-on.
你想让我怎么样 What do you want me to do about it?
我收回那句话 好吗 I take it back, okay?
我收回那句话 I take it back.
收回不了 You can't take it back.
为什么不能 Why not?
因为你已经说出来了 Because it's already out there.
天哪 那我们该怎么办 Oh geez, what are we suppose to do?
报警吧 话已经说出口了 Call the cops, it's already out there.
随它去吧 Just let it lie.
好吗 Okay?
好 随它去吧 Great, let it lie.
这就是我的风格 That's my policy.
我总是这么说 "随它去吧" That's what I always say, "Let it lie."
想在汽车旅馆过夜吗 Wanna spend the night at a motel?
看到了吗 See what I did?
-我没有随它去 -哈利 - I didn't let it lie. - Harry.
我说过我会随它去 但我没有 I said I would and then I didn't.
-哈利 -我做的恰恰相反 - Harry. - I went the other way.
-哈利 -怎么了 - Harry? - What?
我们只会是朋友 好吗 We are just going to be friends, okay?
好 当朋友 Great, friends.
朋友最好了 It's the best thing.
当然 你也应该能想到 我们永远做不成朋友 You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
为什么 Why not?
我的意思是 What I'm saying is,
事先声明 我没有任何勾搭你的意思 and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form,
男人和女人永远做不了朋友 is that men and women can't be friends
因为这中间总是会牵扯到性 because the sex part always gets in the way.
才不是这样 That's not true.
我有不少男性朋友 I have a number of men friends
我们之间的关系根本没有牵扯到性 and there's is no sex involved.
-不 你没有 -我有 - No you don't. - Yes I do.
只是你自己这么认为而已 You only think you do.
你的意思是 You're saying
我在自己不知道的情况下和他们做过爱吗 I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
不 我的意思是 他们都想和你做爱 No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
-才不是 -就是的 - They do not. - Do too.
你怎么知道 How do you know?
因为男人无法和自己觉得漂亮的女人做朋友 Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive.
他总是会想和她做爱 He always wants to have sex with her.
所以你的意思是 So you're saying that
男人可以和自己觉得不漂亮的女人做朋友 a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
不 他大概也会想和她们上床的 No, you pretty much wanna nail 'em too.
如果那些女人不想和你们男人做爱呢 What if they don't wanna have sex with you?
无所谓 Doesn't matter,
因为这已经牵扯到性了 because the sex thing is already out there,
这段友谊注定会结束 so the friendship is ultimately doomed
就是这么回事 and that is the end of the story.
我想我们做不成朋友了 Well I guess we're not gonna be friends then.
我想是的 Guess not.
真可惜 That's too bad.
你是我在纽约唯一认识的人 You were the only person that I knew in New York.
谢谢你让我搭车 Thanks for the ride.
没事 这一路挺有意思的 Yeah, it was interesting.
很高兴认识你 It was nice knowing you.
好吧 Yeah.
祝你生活愉快 Well, have a nice life.
你也是 You too.
我们在高中相爱 We fell in love in high school.
没错 我们在高中时就是情侣了 Yeah, we were high school sweethearts.
但高一过后 他的父母搬走了 But then after our junior year, his parents moved away.
但我从来没有忘记她 But I never forgot her.
他从来没有忘记我 He never forgot me.
她的脸庞深深地印在了我的脑海中 No, her face was burned on my brain.
三十四年后 当我走在百老汇街上时 And it was 34 years later that I was walking down Broadway
我看见她从托法内蒂餐厅走了出来 and I saw her come out of Toffenetti's.
我们四目相视 And we both looked at each other,
感觉就像时光从未流逝 and it was just as though not a single day had gone by.
她和十六岁时一样漂亮 She was just as beautiful as she was at sixteen.
他和以前一模一样 He was just the same.
他看着和以前一模一样 He looked exactly the same.
五年后
乔 我就觉得是你 我就觉得是你 Joe, I thought it was you, I thought it was you.
哈利·伯恩斯 Harry Burns.
哈利 哈利 你好吗 Harry, Harry how're you doing?
我很好 你呢 Good, how're you doing?
挺好 我挺好的 Fine, I'm doing fine.
那就好 Yeah, that's great.
我刚刚路过 我就觉得是你 I was just walking by and I thought it was you
还真是你 and there it is, it's you!
没错 是我 Yeah, yeah, it was.
你还在地检办公室吗 Are you still with the DA's office?
不 我当律师了 No, I switched to the other side.
你呢 What about you?
我在一家负责政治顾问的小律所工作 I work with a small firm, we do political consulting.
-是吗 -是的 挺好的 - Oh, yeah. - It's been great, yeah.
哈利 这位是莎莉·奥布莱特 Harry, this is Sally Albright.
这是哈利·伯恩斯 Harry Burns.
我和哈利以前住一栋楼 Harry and I, we used to, we lived in the same building.
我还得赶飞机 Well, listen, I got a plane to catch,
很高兴见到你 乔 it was really good to see you, Joe.
我也是 哈利 You too, Harry.
再见 Bye.
谢天谢地 他没认出我 Thank God he couldn't place me.
五年前 我和他从大学一起开车来纽约 I drove from college to New York with him five years ago
那是我人生中最漫长的一晚 and it was the longest night of my life.
发生什么了 What happened?
他当时想勾搭我 我拒绝了 He made a pass at me and when I said no,
他当时和我的一个朋友在一起 he was going with a girlfriend of mine.
天哪 我记不起她的名字了 Oh God, I can't remember her name.
别和我交往了 乔 Don't get involved with me, Joe,
我才二十六岁 但我却记不起 I am 26 years old and I can't even remember
当年和我关系那么好的女孩的名字 the name of the girl I was such good friends with
我和她好到我不愿意和她男朋友有所牵扯 I wouldn't get involved with her boyfriend.
到底发生什么了 So what happened?
什么时候 When?
他想勾搭你 你拒绝他的时候 When he made a pass at you and you said no.
我说我们只会是朋友 I said we could just be friends.
说到这 我想起来了 And this part I remember,
他说过 男人和女人永远做不了朋友 he said that men and women could never really be friends.
你觉得是这样吗 Do you think that's true?
不 No.
你有女性朋友吗 单纯的朋友 Do you have any women friends, just friends?
没有 No.
如果这对你来说很重要 我就去交一个 But I will get one if it is important to you.
阿曼达·瑞斯 Amanda Reese.
她叫这个名字 谢天谢地 That was her name, thank God.
我会想你的 I will miss you.
我爱你 I love you.
真的吗 You do?
真的 Yes.
我也爱你 I love you.
你想喝点什么 And what would you like to drink?
不用了 谢谢 Nothing, thanks.
你们有血腥玛丽吗 Do you have any Bloody Mary mix?
有 Yes.
不 等等 No, wait.
我有要求 Here's what I want.
普通的番茄汁 大概倒满四分之三杯左右 Regular tomato juice, filled up about three quarters
再加上一点点血腥玛丽 只要一点点 than add a splash of Bloody Mary mix, just a splash,
旁边再插一片酸橙 and a little piece of lime but on the side.
你是芝加哥大学毕业的 对吗 The University of Chicago, right?
是的 Yes.
你在大学的时候也这么漂亮吗 Did you look this good at the University of Chicago?
不 No.
我们有没有... Did we ever...
当然没有 No, no.
我们毕业之后 从芝加哥一起开车到纽约 We drove from Chicago to New York together after graduation.
你们想坐在一起吗 Would you two like to sit together?
-不了 -太好了 谢谢你 - No. - Great, thank you.
你是谁的好朋友来着 You were a good friend of...
阿曼达 Amanda's.
真不敢相信你记不起她的名字了 I can't believe you can't remember her name.
什么意思 我记得起来 What do you mean, I can remember.
阿曼达 对吗 阿曼达·莱斯 Amanda, right, Amanda Rice.
-是瑞斯 -瑞斯 没错 - Reese. - Reese, right.
我说的就是瑞斯 That's what I said.
她怎么样了 What have happened to her?
我不知道 I have no idea.
你不知道吗 You have no idea?
你当时和她是很好的朋友 You were really good friends with her.
我们俩没成 就是因为你和她是好朋友 We didn't make it because you were such good friends.
你当时和她在一起 You went with her.
这样值得吗 And was it worth it?
你为了一个以后不会联系的朋友 做了这么大牺牲 The sacrifice for a friend that you don't even keep in touch with?
哈利 你可能不相信 Harry, you might not believe this
但我从未觉得 没和你上床是一种牺牲 but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.
那好吧 Fair enough.
你当时想成为健身教练 You were gonna be a gymnast.
是记者 A journalist.
对 我说的就是记者 然后呢 Right, that's what I said, and?
我现在已经是记者了 在新闻行业工作 I am a journalist, I work at the news.
真好 你还和乔在一起了 Great. And you're with Joe.
真是太好了 Well that's great.
太好了 Great.
你们在一起多久了 三周吗 You're together, what, three weeks?
一个月 A month.
你怎么知道的 How did you know that?
如果对方送你去机场 You take someone to the airport,
很明显你们是刚开始恋爱 it's clearly the beginning of a relationship.
所以我在刚开始恋爱的时候 That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport
从不送对方去机场 at the beginning of a relationship.
为什么 Why?
因为继续交往下去之后 Because eventually things move on
你就不会送对方去机场了 and you don't take someone to the airport,
我不想有人对我说 and I never wanted anyone to say to me,
"你怎么不再送我去机场了" "How come you never take me to the airport anymore?"
真是不可思议 你看着像正常人 It's amazing, you look like a normal person
但你其实是死亡天使 but actually you're the Angel of Death.
你要和他结婚吗 Are you gonna marry him?
我们才刚认识一个月 We have only known each other for a month,
再说 我们目前都没有结婚的打算 and besides, neither one of us is looking to get married right now.
我要结婚了 I'm getting married.
是吗 You are?
真的吗 You are.
没错 Yeah.
她是谁 Who is she?
海伦·赫尔森 她是律师 不冠夫姓 Helen Helson, she's a lawyer, she's keeping her name.
你竟然要结婚了 You're getting married.
没错 Yeah.
有什么好笑的 What's so funny about that?
没什么 It's, no.
只是你看上去好乐观 哈利 It's just so optimistic of you, Harry.
陷入爱河能让一个人做出的事 绝对会让你大吃一惊 Well you'd be amazed what falling madly in love can do for you.
那真的太好了 Well it's wonderful.
我很高兴看到你用这种态度拥抱生活 It's nice to see you embracing life in this manner.
没错 而且你知道自己会达到一种 Yeah, plus you know you just get to a certain point
对一切感到厌倦的状态 where you get tired of the whole thing.
一切是指什么 What "Whole thing"?
单身汉的生活 The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing.
你认识了一个人 保守地共进了午餐 You meet someone, you have the safe lunch,
你们决定开始喜欢对方 直到能够开始共进晚餐 you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner.
你们一起去跳舞 还像这样咬着下嘴唇 You go dancing, you do the white-man's over-bite,
回到她家之后 你们做了爱 go back to her place, you have sex
结束的那一刻 and the minute you're finished,
你知道你脑海里想的是什么吗 you know what goes through your mind?
我还得躺在这抱她多久 How long do I have to lie here and hold her
才能起身回家 before I can get up and go home?
半分钟够了吗 Is 30 seconds enough?
你想的就是这个吗 That's what you're thinking?
真的吗 Is that true?
当然 男人都这么想 Sure, all men think that.
你希望他在做完之后抱你多久 How long do you want to be held afterwards?
一整晚 对吗 All night, right?
这就是问题所在 See that's the problem.
半分钟和一整晚之间的某个时长就是你的问题 Somewhere between 30 seconds and all night is your problem.
我才没有问题 I don't have a problem.
你有 Yeah you do.
过夜吗 Staying over?
是的 Yes.
一起吃晚餐吗 Would you like to have dinner?
只是朋友 Just friends.
我还以为你相信 I thought you didn't believe
男人和女人做不了朋友呢 men and women could be friends.
我什么时候说过这话 When did I say that?
去纽约的路上 On the ride to New York.
不 我从没说过这种话 No, no, no, no, I never said that.
没错 男人和女人做不了朋友 Yes, that's right, they can't be friends.
除非他们都有了自己的另一半 Unless both of them are involved with other people,
那就能做朋友了 then they can.
这是对之前结论的补充 This is an amendment to the earlier rule,
如果两个人都恋爱了 if the two people are in relationships,
他们在一起的可能性所带来的压力就没有了 the pressure of possibility of involvement is lifted.
这样也不行 因为这样的话 That doesn't work either because what happens then
和你恋爱的那个人将无法理解 is the person you're involved with can't understand
你为什么要和另一名异性成为朋友 why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with.
这就好像你们二人之间的感情有缺陷 Like it means something is missing from their relationship
他会说 "你为什么要和别人做朋友来填补这份缺陷" and "Why do you have to go outside to get it?"
当你说 "不 不是这样的 Then when you say, "No, no, no, no, it's not true.
我们的感情很圆满" Nothing is missing from the relationship."
接下来 和你恋爱的人就会说 The person you're involved with then accuses you
你心里偷偷喜欢你那位朋友 of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with,
而且大概率会是这种情况 which we probably are.
说真的 这能骗的了谁呢 I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding?
面对现实吧 Let's face it.
这又回到了最开始的结论 Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment,
男人和女人做不了朋友 which is men and women can't be friends,
那我们怎么办呢 so where does that leave us?
-哈利 -怎么了 - Harry? - What?
再见 Goodbye.
好的 Okay.
我就先站着了 你先走 I'll just stop walking, I'll let you go ahead.
我们在四十年前结了婚 We were married 40 years ago.
结婚三年后 我们离婚了 We were married three years, we got a divorce.
然后我娶了玛乔丽 Then I married Marjorie.
但在这之前你和芭芭拉同居过 But first you lived with Barbara.
对 芭芭拉 Right, Barbara.
但我没有娶芭芭拉 我娶了玛乔丽 But I didn't marry Barbara, I married Marjorie.
然后他离婚了 Then he got a divorce.
没错 之后我娶了凯蒂 Right, then I married Katie.
又离了 Another divorce.
几年之后 Then, a couple of years later,
在艾迪·科里西奥的葬礼上 at Eddie Collecio's funeral,
我偶遇了她 I ran into her.
我都忘记当时和哪个姑娘在一起了 I was with some girl I don't even remember.
是罗伯塔 Roberta.
对 罗伯塔 Right, Roberta.
但我的视线根本无法从你身上移开 But I couldn't take my eyes off you.
我记得自己当时偷偷溜到她身边 然后说 I remember I snuck over to her and I said.
我说了什么来着 What did I say?
你说 "你在葬礼结束之后有什么安排" You said, "What're you doing after?"
对 Right.
于是我甩了罗伯塔 和她一起去喝咖啡 So I ditch Roberta, we go for coffee.
一个月后 我们结婚了 A month later we're married.
那天距离我们第一次结婚正好是三十五年 35 years, to the day, after our first marriage.
我翻了他的口袋 好吗 I went through his pockets, okay?
玛丽 你为什么要翻他口袋 Marie, why do you go through his pockets?
五年后
你知道我发现了什么吗 You know what I found?
发现什么了 No, what?
他们刚买了一张餐桌 They just bought a dinning room table.
他和他妻子一起出门 花了一千六 He and his wife just went out and spent 16 hundred dollars
买了一张餐桌 on a dinning room table.
在哪里买的 Where?
重点不在于哪里 爱丽丝 The point isn't where, Alice.
重点在于 他永远也不会离开她 The point is he's never gonna leave her.
这算什么新鲜事 你两年前就知道会这样了 So what else is new, you've known this for two years.
你说得对 我知道你说得对 You're right, you're right, I know you're right.
你为什么不能找个单身男人 Why can't you find someone single?
我单身的时候 认识挺多不错的单身男人 When I was single, I knew lots of nice single men.
你肯定能找到 There must be someone.
莎莉就找到了 Sally found someone.
莎莉找到了最后一个单身好男人 Sally got the last good one.
我和乔分手了 Joe and I broke up.
什么 What?
什么时候 When?
周一 Monday.
-你等了三天才告诉我们吗 -乔现在单身了吗 - You waited three days to tell us? - Joe's available?
拜托 玛丽 For God sakes, Marie,
难道你对此一点感受都没有吗 don't you have any feelings about this?
很明显 她很伤心 She's obviously upset.
我没那么伤心 I'm not that upset,
我们已经疏远好一阵子了 we've been growing apart for quite a while.
但你们是一对 But you guys were a couple,
你可以和他一起出门 you had someone to go places with,
你在放假的时候还可以和他约会 you had a date on national holidays.
我对自己说 "你配得上更好的" I said to myself, "You deserve more than this.
"你三十一岁了" "You're thirty one years old."
时间紧迫 And the clock is ticking.
不 在三十六岁之前 时间都不算紧迫 No, the clock doesn't really start to tick until you're 36.
天哪 你现在的状态真好 God, you're in such great shape.
我花了几天适应了一下 Well, I've had a few days to get use to it
现在我感觉挺好的 and I feel okay.
很好 那你已经准备好了 Good, then you're ready.
认真的吗 玛丽 Really, Marie.
不然你觉得还能怎么做 Well how else do you think you do it?
我有一个完美人选 I've got the perfect guy.
我不觉得他很帅 但你可能会觉得 I don't happen to find him attractive but you might.
她不介意下巴的问题 She doesn't have a problem with chins.
玛丽 我还没准备好 Marie, I'm not ready yet.
但你刚刚说 你已经不在乎他了 But you just said you were over him.
我是不在乎他了 但我还在伤感期 I am over him but I'm in a mourning period.
是谁 Who is it?
亚历克斯·安德森 Alex Anderson.
你六年前就撮合过我们 You fixed me up with him six years ago.
抱歉 Sorry.
天哪 God.
好吧 等等 这个 All right, wait, here.
就他了 Here we go.
肯·达曼 Ken Darman.
他都结婚一年多了 He's been married for over a year.
真的吗 Really?
结婚了 Married.
等等 等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait.
-听着 -我找到一个 - Look. - I got one.
我现在出去和别人约会没有任何意义 There is no point in my going out with someone
如果我在合适的时间和那个人相遇 可能会很欢喜 I might really like if I met him at the right time.
但如果现在相遇 那个人不可能成为我的心上人 But who, right now, has no chance of being anything to me
只能是个过渡对象 but a transitional man.
好吧 但你别等太久 Okay, but don't wait too long.
还记得大卫·沃索吗 Remember what happened to David Warsaw?
他妻子离开了他 大家都对他说 His wife left him and everyone said
多给自己一点时间 别急着另寻新欢 give him some time, don't move in too fast.
半年后 他死了 Six months later, he was dead.
你什么意思 What are you saying?
我应该马上和别人结婚 I should get married to someone right away
免得他快死了吗 in case he's about to die?
至少你可以说你结过婚 At least you could say you were married.
我的意思是 I'm saying that
你命中注定的那个人可能已经出现了 the right man for you might be out there right now,
如果你不赶紧把握 那么其他人就会下手 and if you don't grab him someone else will.
然后你下半辈子会有一个念头挥之不去 And you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that
那就是你真正的丈夫和别人结婚了 someone else is married to your husband.
这是什么时候的事 When did this happen?
周五 Friday.
海伦下班回家 然后说 Helen comes home from work and she says,
"我不确定我还想不想继续维持这段婚姻了" "I don't know if I want to be married anymore."
感觉就像公事公办 Like it's the institution.
和个人无关 You know, like it's nothing personal,
只是一个她随便想想的问题 just something she's been thinking about in a casual way.
我很冷静 我说 I'm calm, I say,
"不如我们都花些时间考虑一下吧 "Why don't we take some time to think about it,
先别急着做决定" you know, don't rush into anything."
是啊 没错啊 Yeah, right.
第二天 她说她考虑过了 Next day, she said she's thought about it,
她想先试着分居一下 and she wants a trial separation.
她说只是想试试 不过我们还是可以约会 She just wants to try it, she says, but we can still date.
说得好像能让我少受点打击一样 Like this is supposed to cushion the blow.
我结婚就是为了不再约会 I mean, I got married so I can stop dating.
所以我看不出我们之间还能约会有什么好处 So I don't see where we can still date is any big incentive,
因为你最不想做的事就是和自己的妻子约会 since the last thing you want to do is date your wife,
那个本应该爱着你的人 who's suppose to love you,
当时我就是对她这么说的 然后我想到 which is what I'm saying to her when it occurs to me
也许她不爱我 that may be she doesn't.
于是我对她说 "难道你不爱我了吗" So I say to her, "Don't you love me anymore?"
你知道她怎么回答的吗 You know what she says?
"我都不知道自己有没有爱过你" "I don't know if I've ever loved you."
这话太伤人了 That's harsh.
这种话造成的伤痛可不是说好就好的 You don't bounce back from that right away.
谢谢 杰斯 Thanks, Jess.
不 我是作家 我了解言语 No, I'm a writer, I know dialogue.
这话实在是太伤人了 And that's particularly harsh.
接着她和我说 她办公室里有一位同事 Then she tells me that somebody in her office
要去南美洲 她可以租下他的公寓 is going to South America and she can sub-let his apartment.
我不敢相信 然后门铃响了 I can't believe this, and the doorbell rings.
"我可以租下他的公寓" "I can sub-let his apartment."
话音还未落呢 The words are still hanging in the air,
就像说话的时候嘴边出现的对话框 you know, like in a balloon attached to a mouth.
就像漫画里一样 Like a cartoon.
没错 Right.
我走向门口 外面站着搬家工人 So I go to the door and there were moving men there.
然后我开始怀疑了 Now I start to get suspicious.
我说 "海伦 你什么时候叫的搬家工人" I say, "Helen, when did you call these movers?"
她一言不发 And she doesn't say anything.
于是我问工人 So I asked the movers,
"她什么时候雇了你们" "When did this woman book you for this gig?"
他们也只是站着 And they're just standing there.
三个大块头 有一个人穿着短袖 Three huge guys, one of them was wearing
上面写着"别招惹零先生" a T-shirt that says, "Don't fuck with Mr. Zero."
我说 "海伦 你什么时候做的安排" So I said, "Helen, when did you make this arrangement?"
她说 "一周前" She says, "A week ago."
我说 "你都想了一周了 却没告诉我吗" I said, "You've known for a week and you didn't tell me?"
她又说 "我不想毁了你的生日" And she says, "I didn't want to ruin your birthday."
你的意思是 You're saying
零先生比你还提前一周知道你要离婚的事吗 Mr. Zero knew you were getting a divorce a week before you did?
零先生早知道 Mr. Zero knew.
难以置信 I can't believe this.
我还没告诉你更悲惨的事实呢 I haven't told you the bad part yet.
还有什么能比零先生提前知道你要离婚还惨 What could be worse than Mr. Zero knowing?
这一切都是谎言 It's all a lie.
她爱上了别人 She's in love with somebody else.
一个税务律师 Some tax attorney.
她搬去和他同居了 She moved in with him.
你是怎么知道的 How did you find out?
我跟踪了她 就站在大楼外 I followed her, I stood outside the building.
奇耻大辱啊 So humiliating.
可不是嘛 Tell me about it.
你知道我明白什么了吗 And do you know I knew?
我一直都知道 即使我们之前过得很幸福 I knew the whole time that even though we were happy
这都只是假象而已 it was just an illusion
总有一天 她会狠狠地把我甩了 and that one day she would kick the shit out of me.
婚姻不会因为不忠而破裂 Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity.
这只是其他地方出现问题的症状 It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
真的吗 Really?
这个症状把我老婆睡了 Well that symptom is fucking my wife.
我不小心看到了他的美国运通账单 So I just happen to see his American Express bill.
什么叫"不小心"看到 What do you mean you just "happened" to see it?
他当时在刮胡子 账单就在他的公文包里 Well, he was shaving and there it was, in his briefcase.
如果他出来 看到你在翻他的公文包怎么办 What if he came out and saw you looking through his briefcase?
这不是重点 我告诉你我发现了什么 You're missing the point, I'm telling you what I found.
他刚刚花了一百二 He just spent a hundred and twenty dollars
给妻子买了一件新睡袍 on a new night gown for his wife.
我觉得他永远不会离开她 I don't think he's ever going to leave her.
没人觉得他会离开她 No one thinks he's ever gonna leave her.
你说得对 我知道你说得对 You're right, you're right, I know you're right.
"个人成长"书区有个人在盯着你看 Someone is staring at you in "Personal Growth."
我认识他 I know him.
你会喜欢他的 他结婚了 You'd like him, he's married.
他是谁 Who is he?
哈利·伯恩斯 他是政治顾问 Harry Burns, he's a political consultant.
他挺帅的 He's cute.
你觉得他帅吗 You think he's cute?
你怎么知道他结婚了 How do you know he's married?
上次我见他的时候 他马上要结婚了 'Cause last time I saw him, he was getting married.
那是什么时候 When was that?
六年前 Six years ago.
所以他现在可能已经离婚了 So he might not be married anymore.
而且他这人很讨厌 Also, he's obnoxious.
这就像电影里那样 记得吗 This is just like in the movies, remember?
在《贵妇失踪案》里 她对他说 In "The Lady Vanishes," when she says to him,
"你是我见过的最讨厌的人" "You're the most obnoxious man I ever met--"
是"最卑鄙的人" "The most contemptible."
然后他们疯狂地爱上了对方 Then they fall madly in love.
而且 他从来都没记住过我 Also, he never remembers me.
莎莉·奥布莱特 Sally Albright.
你好 哈利 Hi, Harry.
我就觉得是你 I thought it was you.
是我 It is.
这是玛丽 This is Marie.
她走了 Was Marie.
你怎么样 How are you?
挺好的 Fine.
乔呢 How's Joe?
也挺好 Fine.
我听说他挺好的 I hear he's fine.
你和乔分手了吗 You're not with Joe anymore?
刚刚分手 We just broke up.
很遗憾 这太可惜了 I'm sorry, that's too bad.
是啊 Yeah.
你也知道的 Well, you know.
是啊 Yeah.
那么 So,
你呢 what about you?
我挺好 I'm fine.
婚后生活怎么样 How's married life?
不是很好 Not so good.
我要离婚了 I'm getting a divorce.
我很遗憾 I'm sorry.
我真的很遗憾 I'm really sorry.
是啊 能怎么办呢 Yeah, well, what're you gonna do?
你们怎么分手了 What happened with you guys?
我和乔开始交往的时候 When Joe and I started seeing each other,
我们想要的一模一样 we wanted exactly the same thing.
我们想同居 但我们不想结婚 We wanted to live together but we didn't want to get married
因为我们认识的每个结婚的人 because every time anyone we knew got married
感情都破裂了 it ruined their relationship,
他们基本没有再做过爱 they practically never had sex again.
真的 It's true.
这种秘密是不会有人告诉你的 It's one of those secrets that no one ever tells you.
我有时会和生了孩子的闺蜜坐在一起 I would sit around with my girlfriends who have kids.
其实 我只有一个叫爱丽丝的闺蜜生了孩子 Actually, my one girlfriend who has kids, Alice,
她总是会抱怨 她和加里再也没做过爱 and she would complain about how she and Garry never did it anymore.
仔细想想 她那都不叫抱怨 She didn't even complain about it, now that I think about it.
她只是很平淡地说出了这个事实 She just said it matter-of-factly.
她说 他们整夜不睡 She said, "They were up all night,
总是感到精疲力尽 they were both exhausted all the time,
孩子抽走了他们全部的性欲 the kids just took every sexual impulse they had out of them."
我和乔以前会讨论这个话题 我们会说 Joe and I use to talk about it and we'd say,
"我们是何其幸运 能有这么一份美好的感情 "We are so lucky we have this wonderful relationship,
我们可以在厨房地板上做爱 we can have sex on the kitchen floor
而不用担心孩子们会突然走进来 and not worry about the kids walking in.
我们可以一时兴起地飞去罗马旅游" We can fly off to Rome on a moment's notice."
之后有一天 And then, one day,
我那天下午在带爱丽丝的小女儿 I was taking to Alice's little girl for the afternoon
因为我说过会带她去看马戏 because I promised I'd take her to the circus,
我们俩在出租车上玩偷看游戏 and we were in the cab playing eye-spy.
偷看邮筒 偷看街灯柱 Eye-spy mailbox, eye-spy lamppost.
她向窗外看去 看到了一对夫妻 And she looked out the window and she saw this man and this woman
带着他们的两个孩子 with these two little kids
有个孩子坐在男人的肩膀上 and the man had one of the little kids on his shoulders
然后她说 "我偷看到了一家人" and she said, "I spy a family."
我落泪了 And I started to cry.
眼泪一下子就出来了 You know I just started crying.
我回家和乔说 And I went home and I said,
"是这样的 乔 "The thing is, Joe,
我们从来没有一时兴起飞去罗马旅游过" we never do fly off to Rome on a moment's notice."
在厨房地板上做爱呢 And the kitchen floor?
一次也没有 Not once.
厨房铺着又冷又硬的墨西哥瓷砖 It's this very cold, hard Mexican ceramic tile.
总之 Anyway,
我们讨论了好久 然后我说 we talked about it for a long time and I said,
"我想要的就是这个" "This is what I want."
他说 "我不想要" And he says, "Well I don't."
我说"那我们之间应该结束了" 接着他就离开了 And I said, "Well I guess it's over" and he left.
重点是 我感觉还挺不错的 And the thing is I feel really fine.
我不在乎他了 真的不在乎了 I am over him, I mean, I really am over him.
对他来说也只能这样了 And that was it for him.
他只能给我这么多了 That was the most that he could give.
每次我想起这件事 我心里就越来越肯定 And every time I think about it I am more and more convinced
我的选择是正确的 that I did the right thing.
你的心理真健康 Boy, you sound really healthy.
是啊 Yeah.
至少我得到公寓了 At least I got the apartment.
大家也是这么对我说的 That's what everybody says to me too.
不过说真的 再找一间公寓有多难 But really, what's so hard about finding an apartment?
你只需要看一看讣告栏 What you do is you read the obituary column.
看看谁死了 再去那栋大楼 Yeah, you find out who died, go to the building
然后给门卫小费 and then you tip the doorman.
如果把讣告栏和房地产专栏结合到一起 What they could do to make it easier is to combine
那就更加方便了 the obituaries with the real estate section.
你就会看到 "克莱恩先生今天不幸去世 Then you'd have "Mr. Klein died today,
留下了妻子和两个孩子 leaving a wife, two children,
还有一间宽敞的三居室公寓 and a spacious three bedroom apartment
并附带壁炉" with a wood burning fireplace."
我们第一次见面的时候 You know, the first time we met,
我真的不是很喜欢你 I really didn't like you that much.
我也不喜欢你 I didn't like you.
不 你喜欢 Yeah, you did.
那时的你只是太假正经了 You were just so uptight then.
你现在性格柔软多了 You're much softer now.
我讨厌这种评价 You know, I hate that kind of remark.
听着像是称赞 但其实是侮辱 It sounds like a compliment but really, it's an insult.
好吧 你还是很强硬 不好相处 Okay, you're still as hard as nails.
我只是不想和你上床 I just didn't want to sleep with you
你却把它当成性格缺陷一笔带过 and you had to write it off as a character flaw
而没有考虑一下 instead of dealing with the possibility
会不会可能是因为你的关系 that it might have something to do with you.
道歉的期限有多久 What's the statute of limitation on apologies?
十年 Ten years.
那我刚好可以赶在最后期限之前 I can just get it in under the wire.
如果有空 你愿意和我一起吃晚餐吗 Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?
我们要当朋友了吗 Are we becoming friends now?
是的 Yeah.
真好 Great.
女性朋友 A woman friend.
也许你是我有生以来遇见的第一个 You know, you may be the first attractive woman
能够吸引我 却不会让我想和你上床的女人 I have not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.
那挺好的 哈利 That's wonderful, Harry.
-我们在同一家医院出生 -在1921年 - We were both born in the same hospital. - In 1921.
-就差七天 -在同一家医院 - Seven days apart. - In the same hospital.
我们长大的地方 We both grew up
-隔了一个街区 -我们都住廉价公寓 - one block away from each other. - We both lived in tenements.
在下东区 On the lower East Side.
在德兰西街上 On Delancey Street.
我十岁的时候 我们家 My family moved to the Bronx
-搬去了布朗克斯 -他当时住在福特汉姆路 - when I was ten. - He lived on Fordham Road.
在她十一岁时 她们家也搬走了 Hers moved when she was eleven.
我当时住在183号路 I lived on a hundred and eighty third Street.
-六年来 她一直在十五楼工作 -我当时在为 - For six years she worked on the 15 floor-- - I worked for a
-一名杰出的神经科医生工作 -她是护士 - very prominent neurologist. - As a nurse
而我也在同一栋楼的第十四层工作 where I had a practice on the 14 floor of the very same building.
我们从未相遇 We never met.
从未相遇 Never met.
你能想象吗 Can you imagine that?
你知道我们在哪儿相遇的吗 You know where we met?
-在电梯里 -我当时在探望家人 - In an elevator. - I was visiting family.
在伊利诺伊州芝加哥的大使酒店 In the ambassador hotel in Chicago, Illinois.
他住三楼 我住十二楼 He was on the third floor, I was on the 12th.
为了能和她聊下去 我多乘了九楼的电梯 I rode up nine extra floors just to keep talking to her.
多乘了九楼 Nine extra floors.
喂 Hello?
你睡了吗 You sleeping?
没有 我在看《卡萨布兰卡》 No, I was watching "Casablanca."
哪个台 Channel, please.
11频道 11.
谢谢 Thank you.
看到了 Got it.
你的意思是 和维克托·拉兹罗在一起会更幸福 Now you're telling me you will be happier with Victor Laszlo
而非亨弗莱·鲍嘉吗 than with Humphrey Bogart?
我什么时候说过这话 When did I say that?
在我们去纽约的路上 When we drove to New York.
我没说过这话 I never said that.
我不可能说过这种话 I would have never have said that.
好吧 随你怎么说吧 All right, fine, have it your way.
你睡得着吗 Have you been sleeping?
为什么这么问 Why?
因为我一直睡不着 Because I haven't been sleeping.
我真的很想海伦 I really miss Helen.
可能是我得了什么病吧 Maybe I'm coming down with something.
昨天晚上我四点就起床了 Last night I was up at four in the morning
看了西班牙语版的《天才小麻烦》 watching "Leave it to Beaver" in Spanish.
早上好 克里弗先生 Buenos días, Se?or Cleaver.
沃里斯和希奥多去哪儿了 Dónde están Wallace y Theodore?
我感觉不太好 I'm not well.
我昨晚七点半就上床睡觉了 Well, I went to bed at 7:30 last night.
自从三年级之后 我都没有这么早上过床 I haven't don't that since the third grade.
这就是心情低落的好处 能让你得到充分休息 Well, that's the good thing about depression, you get your rest.
我没有心情低落 I'm not depressed.
好吧 Okay, fine.
你还睡在床的同一边吗 Do you still sleep on the same side of the bed?
有一阵子是吧 I did for a while
但我现在基本上睡整张床 but now I'm pretty much using the whole bed.
真好啊 God, that's great.
我在床上腿可以到处伸都会感觉很奇怪 I feel weird when just my leg wanders over.
我很想她 I miss her.
我不想他 真的不想 I don't miss him, I really don't.
一点也不想吗 Not even a little?
你知道我怀念什么吗 You know what I miss?
我怀念他的存在 I miss the idea of him.
也许我也只是在怀念海伦的存在 Maybe I only miss the idea of Helen.
不 我想念完完整整的海伦 No, I miss the whole Helen.
最后一幕了 Last scene.
英格丽·褒曼 Ingrid Bergman,
她要求真的不高 now she's low maintenance.
要求不高 Low maintenance?
有两种女人 There are two kinds of women.
一种要求很高 另一种要求不高 High maintenance and low maintenance.
英格丽·褒曼要求不高吗 And Ingrid Bergman is low maintenance?
要求不高 绝对的 An LM, definitely.
我是哪种 Which one am I?
你是最糟的那种 You're the worst kind.
你要求很高 You're high maintenance
但你以为自己要求不高 but you think you're low maintenance.
我没看出来 I don't see that.
你没看出来吗 You don't see that?
"服务员 我要一份主厨沙拉 "Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad,
但我不要常规调料 but I don't want the regular dressing.
我要意大利香醋和油 I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil,
但要放在旁边 but on the side.
还有芥末酱配三文鱼 And then the salmon with the mustard sauce,
但要把芥末酱放在旁边" but I want the mustard sauce on the side."
"放旁边"对你来说很重要 "On the side" is a very big thing for you.
我只是希望按我的要求来 Well, I just want it the way I want it.
我知道 要求很高 I know, high maintenance.
一万法郎差不多能抵消我们的费用了 About 10 thousand Francs should pay our expenses.
我们的费用吗 Our expenses?
路易 我感觉这是一段美好友谊的开始 Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
有史以来最好的电影结尾台词 Best last line of a movie ever.
我肯定得了什么病 I'm definitely coming down with something.
说不定是一颗二十四小时的肿瘤 外面到处都在传 Probably a twenty-four hour tumor, they're going around.
你没有长肿瘤 You don't have a tumor.
你怎么知道 How do you know?
如果你真这么担心 那就去看医生吧 If you're so worried, go see a doctor.
算了 他们只会告诉我没事 No, they'll just tell me it's nothing.
你能睡着吗 Will you be able to sleep?
睡不着也没事 If not, I'll be okay.
那你会做什么 What'll you do?
我会彻夜呻吟 I'll stay up and moan.
也许我现在就应该练起来 Maybe I should practice now.
晚安 哈利 Goodnight, Harry.
晚安 Goodnight.
我又做那个梦了 I had my dream again,
奥运会裁判在看着我做爱 where I'm making love and the Olympic judges are watching.
我的规定动作无懈可击 这是最后的决赛 I've nailed the compulsories so this is it, the finals.
加拿大裁判给我打了9.8分 I got a nine eight from the Canadian,
美国裁判给我打了满分10分 a perfect ten from the American,
我妈则扮成了一名东德裁判 and my mother, disguised as a East German judge,
只给了我5.6分 gave me a five six.
肯定是收尾动作没做好 Must've been the dismount.
这个梦从我十二岁开始时就没怎么变过 Well basically it's the same one I've been having since I was 12.
梦里发生什么了 What happens?
不 这梦...太尴尬了 No, it's...It's too embarrassing.
别告诉我 Don't tell me.
好吧 有一个男人 Okay, there's this guy.
他长什么样 What's he look like?
我不知道 他的面部一片模糊 I don't know, he's just kinda faceless.
无脸男 好的 然后呢 A faceless guy, okay, then what?
他撕开我的衣服 He rips off my clothes.
然后呢 Then what happens?
就这样了 That's it.
就这样了 That's it?
一个无脸男撕开你的衣服 A faceless guy rips off your clothes
这就是你从十二岁开始就一直有的性幻想 and that's the sex fantasies you've been having since you were 12.
每次都一样 Exactly the same.
有的时候会变一点 Well sometimes I vary it a little.
哪部分 Which part?
我穿的衣服 What I'm wearing.
怎么了 What?
没事 Nothing.
我决定了 今天剩余的时间里 I have decided that for the rest of the day
我们要一直像这样说话 we are going to talk like this.
像这样吗 Like this?
不 请跟我重复 No. Please, to repeat after me.
胡椒 Pepper.
-胡椒 -胡椒 - Pepper. - Pepper.
服务员 你们撒了太多胡椒在我的红椒炖鸡上 Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash.
"服务员 你们撒了太多胡椒" "Waiter, there is too much pepper."
在我的红椒炖鸡上 On my paprikash.
"在我的红椒炖鸡上" "On my paprikash."
不过我很乐意咬一口你的核桃派 But I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.
不要 No.
不过我很乐意 But I would be proud.
"不过我很乐意" "But I would be proud."
-咬一口 -咬一口 - To partake - To partake
你的核桃派 of your pecan pie.
-你的核桃派 -核桃派 - of your pecan pie. - Pecan pie.
-核桃派 -核桃派 - Pecan pie. - Pecan pie.
核桃派 Pecan pie.
你今晚愿意和我一起看电影吗 Would you like to go to the movies with me tonight?
你今晚愿意 什么 Would you like to go, what?
不要重复 Not to repeat.
请回答 Please, to answer.
你今晚愿意和我一起看电影吗 Would you like to go to the movies with me tonight?
我很乐意 哈利 但是不行 I'd love to, Harry, but I can't.
你有什么安排 约会吗 What do you have, a hot date?
是的 是的 Well, yeah, yeah.
真的吗 Really?
是啊 我本来打算告诉你的 Yeah. I was gonna tell you about it,
不过 我也说不清 我感觉有点奇怪 but I don't know, I felt strange about it.
为什么 Why?
因为我们最近一直在一起 Well, because we've been spending so much time together.
我觉得你有约会挺好的 I think it's great that you have a date.
-真的吗 -是啊 - You do? - Yeah.
你打算穿这身衣服吗 Is that what you're gonna wear?
是的 Yeah.
我不确定 Well, I don't know.
怎么了 Why?
我觉得你应该多穿裙子 I think you should wear skirts more.
你穿裙子很好看 You look really good in skirts.
-是吗 -没错 - I do? - Yeah.
我相信一种理论 You know, I have a theory that
象形文字实际上是一种古代漫画 Hieroglyphics are really an ancient comic strip
内容是关于一个叫斯芬克斯的角色 about a character named Sphinxie.
哈利 我觉得你也应该出去约会 You know, Harry, I think you should get out there too.
我还没有准备好 I'm not ready.
你应该去 You should.
我现在不适合和任何人开始新的感情 I would not be good for anybody right now.
是时候了 It's time.
那是我人生中最尴尬的一晚 It was the most uncomfortable night of my life.
瞧吧 这样不行 必须往这边铺 See, no, it has to go this way.
第一次约会回来总是最难熬的 哈利 The first date back is always the toughest, Harry.
你只约了一次 You only had one date.
你怎么知道后面会不会变得更惨 How do you know it's not gonna get worse?
还能比我更惨吗 当时吃完晚饭后 How much worse can it get than finishing dinner,
他伸手过来 拔了我一根头发 having him reaching over, pull a hair out of my head
然后在桌上把头发当牙线剔牙 and starts flossing with it at the table?
和我比起来 你这都算梦幻约会了 We're talking dream date compared to my horror.
刚开始挺好的 It started out fine.
她人很不错 She's a very nice person.
我们在一家她想去的埃塞俄比亚餐厅 And we're sitting and we're talking in this Ethiopian restaurant
一起坐着 聊着天 that she wanted to go to.
我当时在开玩笑 我说 And I was making jokes, you know like,
"我都不知道埃塞俄比亚还有食物" "Hey, I didn't know that they had food in Ethiopia?
"今天的晚餐应该很快就能吃完" "This will be a quick meal."
"我点两个空盘子 然后我们就可以走了" "I'll order two empty plates and we can leave."
她一点反应也没有 连个微笑也没有 Yeah, nothing from her, not even a smile.
于是我转变话题 开始和她闲聊 So I down shift into small talk,
我问她在哪儿上的学 and I asked her where she went to school
她说在密歇根州立大学 and she says Michigan State.
这让我想起了海伦 And this reminds me of Helen.
突然一下子 我就开始焦虑了 All of a sudden, I'm in the middle of this mess of an anxiety attack,
我的心砰砰地跳个不停 my heart's beating like a wild man
还开始像猪一样汗流不止 and I start sweating like a pig.
海伦念的是密歇根州立大学吗 Helen went to Michigan State?
不 她念的是西北大学 No, she went to Northwestern.
不过这两所大学都是十大联盟里的 But they're both Big 10 schools.
我很难过 只能离开了餐厅 I got so upset, I had to leave the restaurant.
哈利 我觉得这需要很长的时间 Harry, I think this takes a long time.
可能要几个月后 It might be months
我们才能真正开始享受出去和别人约会 before we're actually able to enjoy going out with someone new.
是啊 Yeah.
也许需要更久的时间 And maybe longer
我们才能和别人上床 before we're actually able to go to bed with someone new.
我和她上床了 I went to bed with her.
你和她上床了吗 You went to bed with her?
当然 Sure.
我不太理解这种关系 I don't understand this relationship.
什么意思 What do you mean?
你喜欢和她待在一起吗 You enjoy being with her?
是啊 Yeah.
你觉得她漂亮吗 You find her attractive?
漂亮 Yeah.
-但你没和她上床 -没有 - And you're not sleeping with her. - No.
你害怕让自己感到幸福 You're afraid to let yourself be happy.
你为什么不能相信我呢 Why can't you give me credit for this?
这对我来说是件大事 This is a big thing for me.
我从没有和一个女人 I never had a relationship with a woman
发展过不牵扯性的关系 that didn't involve sex.
感觉我在成长 I feel like I'm growing.
你们打完了吗 Are you finished?
我这还有一大堆二十五美分硬币 而且是我先来的 Hey, I got a whole stack of quarters and I was here first.
-才不是 -就是 - Were not! - Was too!
大混蛋 Big jerk.
小贱人 Little creep.
刚刚说到哪儿了 Where was I?
你成长了 You were growing.
没错 Yeah.
感觉很自由 It's very freeing.
我什么话都可以跟她说 I can say anything to her.
你的意思是有些话都不能跟我说 却能跟她说 Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?
不 只是感觉不一样 No, it's just different.
这是一种完全不同的角度 It's a whole different perspective.
我可以了解女人的观点 I get the women's point of view on things.
她可以跟我说跟她约会的男人 She tells me about the men that she goes out with
我也可以跟她说跟我约会的女人 and I can talk to her about the women that I see.
你还和她聊其他女人 You tell her about other women.
没错 Yeah.
就像那天晚上一样 Like the other night.
我和一个女人做了爱 感觉好极了 I made love to this woman, and it was so incredible,
我让她爽的欲仙欲死 I took her to a place that wasn't human,
她甚至发出了喵叫 she actually meowed.
你让一个女人发出了喵叫 You made a woman meow?
没错 这才是关键 Yeah, that's the point.
我可以跟她说这些话 I can say these things to her.
好处就是 我没必要向她说谎 And the great thing is, I don't have to lie
因为我并没有想着 because I'm not always thinking about
怎么才能和她上床 how to get her into bed.
我可以做自己 I can just be myself.
你让一个女人发出了喵叫 You made a woman meow?
你最后是怎么打发那些女人的 So what do you do with these women?
直接从床上起身 然后离开吗 You just get up out of bed and leave?
当然 Sure.
跟我说明一下你是怎么做的 Well explain to me how you do it.
你会说什么 What do you say?
我就说我还有早会 早上要去理发 Just say I have an early meeting, early haircut,
早上要去打壁球 or a squash game.
你不打壁球 You don't play squash.
她们又不知道 她们才刚认识我 They don't know that, they just met me.
真恶心 That's disgusting.
我知道 我也很不好受 I know, I feel terrible.
我很高兴 我从没有跟你上过床 You know, I'm so glad I never got involved with you.
如果上了 我肯定也会沦为这种女人 I just would've ended being some woman
逼得你在凌晨三点钟起床离开 you had to get up out of bed and leave at three o'clock in the morning
回去清理你自己的壁炉架子 and go clean your andirons
可你连壁炉都没有 and you don't even have a fireplace,
不过我也不会知道 not that I would know this.
你这么生气干什么 Why are you getting so upset?
这和你无关 This is not about you.
当然有关 Yes it is.
你这是在侮辱所有女人 而我也是女人 You are a human affront to all women and I am a woman.
我感觉也不好受 Hey, I don't feel great about this
但我没听见有人抱怨 but I don't hear anyone complaining.
你当然听不见 你出门太快了 Of course not, you're out the door too fast.
我觉得她们和我在一起时挺愉快的 I think they have an okay time.
你怎么知道 How do you know?
什么叫我怎么知道 我就是知道 What do you mean how do I know? I know.
因为她们... Because they?
没错 因为她们... Yes, because they.
但你怎么知道她们有没有真的... How do you know that they're really?
你什么意思 她们假装高潮吗 What are you saying, that they fake orgasm?
有可能 It's possible.
别扯了 Get outta here.
为什么 Why?
大多数女人都曾经假装过高潮 Most women, at one time or another, have faked it.
她们在我面前没有假装过 Well they haven't faked it with me.
你怎么知道 How do you know?
因为我就是知道 Because I know.
好吧 没错 Right, that's right.
我忘了 你是男人 I forgot, you're a man.
你这话又是什么意思 What does that supposed to mean?
没什么意思 Nothing.
只是所有男人都很肯定女人在他们面前没有假装过高潮 It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them
而大多数女人都曾经假装过高潮 and that most women, at one time or another,have done it,
你自己算吧 so you do the math.
你觉得我看不出区别吗 You don't think that I could tell the difference?
看不出 No.
别扯了 Get out of here.
你没事吧 Are you okay?
天哪 Oh, god!
没错 就是那里 Yeah, right there.
天哪 Oh, god!
太爽了 太爽了 太爽了 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
太爽了 太爽了 Yes! Yes! Yes!
太爽了 太爽了 太爽了 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
天哪 Oh, god!
我要她点的菜 I'll have what she's having.
我喜欢你没胡子的样子 可以看清你的脸 I like you without your beard, you can see your face.
这就是我的脸 There's my face.
弯腰 Dipping you.
我真的很感谢你今晚约我出来 I really wanna thank you for taking me out tonight.
别说傻话 Don't be silly.
明年的新年前夜 如果我们两个人 The next New Year's Eve, if neither one of us
都没有恋爱 那你也有约会 is with anybody, you got a date.
说定了 Deal.
看 我们可以脸贴脸跳舞 See, now we can dance cheek to cheek.
各位 Everybody!
再过十秒就是新年了 10 seconds to New Years!
十 10!
想去外面透透气吗 Wanna get some air?
好 Yeah.
六 五 Six, five,
四 four,
三 二 一 three, two, one.
新年快乐 Happy New Year!
-新年快乐 -新年快乐 - Happy New Year. - Happy New Year.
他当时是男生夏令营的领队 Well, he was the head counselor at the boys' camp
我是女生夏令营的领队 and I was the head counselor at the girls' camp,
有天晚上举办了一个联谊会 and they had a social one night,
他从房间那边走了过来 and he walked across the room.
我以为他是来找我朋友玛克辛聊天的 I thought he was coming to talk to my friend, Maxine,
因为经常有人穿过房间来和玛克辛聊天 'cause people were always crossing rooms to talk to Maxine.
但他是来和我聊天的 他对我说 But he was coming to talk to me, and he said--
我是来自科尼岛斯莫家的本·斯莫 I'm Ben Small of the Coney Island Smalls.
在那一刻我就知道了 At that moment I knew.
就像你知道自己挑到了好瓜一样 I knew the way you know about a good melon.
你给自己送了花 You sent flowers to yourself.
我花了六十块买了一大束破花 60 dollars I spent on this big stupid arrangement of flowers
我还写了张卡片 本来打算放在前桌上 and I wrote a card that I planned to leave on the front table
让亚瑟碰巧看到 where Arthur would just happen to see it.
卡片上写了什么 What did the card say?
"请答应我 爱你的乔纳森" "Please say yes, love, Johnathon."
成功了吗 Did it work?
他连来都没来 He never even came over.
他都忘了慈善活动这回事 He forgot this charity thing
而且她老婆还是这个慈善协会的主席 that his wife was a chairman of.
他永远不会离开她的 He's never going to leave her.
他当然不会 Of course he isn't.
你说得对 我知道你说得对 You're right, you're right, I knew you're right.
那地方在哪儿 Where is this place?
下个街区就到了 Somewhere on the next block.
真不敢相信我会这么做 I can't believe I'm doing this.
听我说 哈利是我最好的朋友之一 Look, Harry is one of my best friends
你也是我最好的朋友之一 and you are one of my best friends
如果机缘巧合 你们两个看上眼了 and if by some chance you two hit it off,
我们大家可以继续当朋友 而不会渐行渐远 then we could all still be friends instead of drifting apart
就像你和不认识你朋友的人 the way you do when you get involved with someone
在一起了之后那样 who doesn't know your friends.
我和亚瑟在一起之后 我们也没渐行渐远啊 You and I haven't drifted apart since I started seeing Arthur.
如果亚瑟真的离开了他妻子 If Arthur ever left his wife
而我又真的和他见过面 and I actually met him,
我敢肯定我们会渐行渐远 I am sure that you and I would drift apart.
他永远不会离开她的 He's never gonna leave her.
当然不会了 Of course he isn't.
你说得对 我知道你说得对 You're right, you're right, I know you're right.
我不太确定 I don't know about this.
只是一次晚餐而已 It's just a dinner.
我好不容易达到了一种新的状态 You know, I've finally gone to a new place in my life
能让我满足只有我自己和工作的生活 where I'm comfortable with the fact that it's just me and my work.
如果她真的那么好 你为什么不和她交往 If she's so great, why aren't you taking her out?
我得和你说多少次 How many times do I have to tell you?
我们只是朋友 We're just friends.
你的意思是她没那么漂亮 So you're saying she's not that attractive.
不 我跟你说过她很漂亮 No, I told you she is attractive.
没错 但你还说过她性格很好 Yeah, but you also said she has a good personality.
她性格的确很好 She has a good personality.
怎么了 What?
当一个人没有那么漂亮的时候 When someone's not that attractive,
别人总会形容她性格很好 they're always described as having a good personality.
如果你问我 "她长什么样" Look, if you would ask me, "What does she look like?"
我说 "她性格很好" and I said, "She has a good personality."
这说明她真的不漂亮 That means she's not attractive.
但仅仅因为我随口提到 But just because I happened to mention
她性格很好 这就会有两种可能 that she has a good personality, she could be either.
她可以是长得漂亮 性格也很好 She could be attractive with a good personality,
或是长得不漂亮 但性格很好 or not attractive with a good personality.
那她到底漂不漂亮 So which one is she?
漂亮 Attractive.
但没有那么美 对吗 But not beautiful, right?
每当我看吉米·布雷斯林的著作时 It's like, whenever I read Jimmy Breslin,
我都感觉他想... it's as if he's leaving some kind of a...
为纽约市敲响警钟 你明白吗 a wake-up call for the City of New York, you know?
你说的敲响警钟是什么意思 What do you mean by a wake-up call?
他说 其实... Well, he's saying that actually...
那些享受着福利的城里人... if people in the city who are on welfare...
我会不会看见过你设计的窗户 Would I have seen any of your windows?
几周之前 我还设计了有关人质的主题 A couple of weeks ago, I did a thing with hostages.
蒙上眼罩的人吗 People in blindfolds?
没错 Yeah.
我感觉这样有八十年代末期的感觉 I thought it was like late 80s.
很有趣 It's interesting.
这么说吧 我不是吉米·布雷斯林的书迷 Let's just say I'm really not a big fan of Jimmy Breslin.
是他让我成为了一名作家 Well, he's the reason I become a writer
不过这不重要 but that's not important.
哈利 Harry?
你和玛丽都是新泽西人 You and Marie are both from New Jersey.
真的吗 Really?
你是哪儿人 Where are you from?
南橘郡 South Orange.
哈登菲尔德 Haddonfield.
我们要点些什么呢 So what're we gonna order?
我就先点烤菊苣了 Well, I'm going to start with the grilled radicchio.
杰斯 莎莉很会点菜 Jess, Sally is a great orderer.
她不仅总能点到菜单上最棒的菜 Not only does she always pick the best thing in the menu
她对菜的烹饪要求 but she orders it in a way
连主厨都想不到会有多棒 that even the chef didn't even know how good it could be.
我觉得餐厅变得太重要了 I think restaurants have become too important.
我同意 I agree.
餐厅对于八十年代的人而言 Restaurants are to people in the 80s
就像剧院对于六十年代的人一样 what theatre was to people in the 60s.
这是我从杂志上看到的 I read that in magazine.
是我写的 I wrote that.
别扯了 Get out of here.
不 真的是我写的 No, I did, I wrote that.
我从来没有引用过杂志上的话 I've never quoted anything from a magazine in my life.
真神奇 难道你们不觉得很神奇吗 That's amazing, don't you think that's amazing?
而且还是你写的 And you wrote it?
我还写过"香蒜酱就是八十年代的乳蛋饼" I also wrote "Pesto is the quiche of the 80s."
别闹了 Get over yourself.
真的 I did.
我从哪儿看到这句话的 Where did I read that?
《纽约杂志》 New York Magazine.
莎莉也为《纽约杂志》写稿 Sally writes for New York Magazine.
那篇文章对我影响很大 You know that piece had a real impact on me.
我对写作不是很了解 不过... I don't know that much about writing but--
你能引用我的话 我就很高兴了 It spoke to you and that pleases me.
说真的 我... I mean, I really have...
还真得佩服那些善于表达的人 You have to admire people who can be that articulate.
从来没有人对我引用过我自己写的话 Nobody has ever quoted me back to me before.
我一直在找一双红色高跟鞋 I've been looking for a red suede pump.
你觉得杰斯怎么样 What do you think of Jess?
你觉得你会和他约会吗 Do you think you could go out with him?
我不知道 I don't know.
因为我和他相处的感觉真的很愉快 Because I feel really comfortable with him.
你想和杰斯约会 You wanna go out with Jess.
如果你没有意见的话 If it would be all right with you.
当然 Sure, sure.
我只是担心哈利 I'm just worried about Harry.
他很敏感 He's very sensitive,
他这段日子过得很艰难 he's going through a rough period
我不希望你马上就拒绝他 and I just don't want you to reject him right now.
-我不会的 我完全理解 -好的 - I won't, I totally understand. - OK.
如果你不会联系玛丽的话 If you don't think you're going to call Marie,
你介意我联系她吗 do you mind if I call her?
-不会 -太好了 - No, no. - Good, good, good.
但你不应该在今晚联系她 But for tonight, you shouldn't.
莎莉现在很脆弱 I mean, Sally's very vulnerable right now.
你可以联系玛丽 这没关系 I mean, you can call Marie, it's fine.
但等一周之后再说 好吗 But just wait for a week or so, you know?
今晚就算了 Don't make any moves tonight.
好 没问题 Fine, no problem.
我都没想着要在今晚行动 I wasn't even thinking about tonight.
我不太想走路了 I don't really feel much like walking anymore.
我还是打辆车吧 I think I'll get a cab.
我和你一起 I'll go with you.
太好了 Great!
出租车 Taxi!
一个人来找我说 A man came to me and said,
"我为你找了个好姑娘 "I found nice girl for you.
她就住在隔壁村子里 She lives in the next village.
她现在就想找个人结婚" And she is ready for marriage."
按习俗 男女双方在婚礼前是不能见面的 We were not suppose to meet until the wedding
但我想确保一下 but I wanted to make sure.
所以我偷偷溜进了她的村子 So I sneak into her village,
躲在树后面 hid behind a tree,
看着她洗衣服 watch her washing the clothes.
我心想 如果我不喜欢她的长相 I think if I don't like the way she looks,
我就不娶她 I don't marry her.
但我觉得她很好看 But she look very nice to me.
所以我答应了那个人 So I said okay to the man.
我们就结婚了 We get married.
我们已经当了五十五年的夫妻 We married for 55 years.
四个月后
-我必须买这个 -哈利 - I have to get this, I have to get this. - Harry,
我们是来给杰斯和玛丽买礼物的 we're here for Jess and Marie.
我知道 我们会找到送他们的礼物的 I know, we'll find them something.
这里有好多不错的东西 There's great stuff here.
我们应该去花店的 We should've gone to the plant store.
给 这个很适合他们 Here, perfect for them.
这是什么 What's that?
电池供电的遮阳帽 还附带风扇 Battery operated pith helmet, with fan.
这在日常生活中用得上吗 Why is this necessary in life?
我不知道 你看 I don't know. Look.
看看这个 还能做出很棒的薯条 Look at this, also makes great fries.
很好 Good.
慢着 不用再找了 Hold off the dogs, the hunt is over.
莎莉 这个最棒了 Sally, this is the greatest.
莎莉 请回话 Sally, please report to me.
看看这个 Look at this.
这个最棒了 你肯定喜欢 This is the greatest, you're gonna love this.
这是唱歌机 看 This is a singing machine. Look.
你开始唱歌 然后这个机器会给你伴奏 You sing the lead and it has the backup and everything.
这是俄克拉荷马制造的 This is from Oklahoma!
这里有歌词 Here is the lyrics right here.
《流苏饰顶的马车》 "The Surrey with the Fringe on Top."
对 太棒了 Yes, perfect.
*鸡啊鸭啊快快跑开* *Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry*
*当我带你坐上我的马车* *When I take you out in my surrey*
*流苏饰顶的马车* *With the fringe on top*
到你了 Now you.
*看看流苏的飘动* *Watch that fringe and see how it flutters*
*当我趾高气昂地驾驶着我的马车* *When I drive them high steppen strutters*
*多管闲事的人们会偷偷从窗缝里看着* *Nosy pokes will peek through their shutters*
*他们的眼睛会睁得大大的* *And their eyes will pop*
*黄色的车轮* *The wheels are yellow*
*棕色的内饰* *The upholstery's brown*
*真皮的挡泥板* *The dashboard's genuine leather*
*你还可以拉下透明车帘* *With isinglass curtains you can roll*
怎么了 What?
是我的嗓音难听 对吗 It's my voice, isn't it?
你讨厌我的嗓音 I hate my voice.
我知道我嗓音不好听 乔很讨厌... I know, it's terrible, Joe hated--
是海伦 It's Helen.
海伦 Helen?
她正在向我走来 She's coming right towards me.
你好吗 哈利 How are you, Harry?
我挺好的 Fine, I'm fine.
这位是艾拉·斯通 This is Ira Stone.
这是哈利·伯恩斯 Harry Burns.
哈利 Harry.
不好意思 这位是莎莉·奥布莱特 I'm sorry, this is Sally Albright.
这是海伦·希尔森 Helen Hillson
还有艾拉 and Ira.
莎莉 Sally.
很高兴认识你 Nice to meet you.
你好 Hi.
再见 See you.
好 再见 Yeah. Bye.
很高兴认识你 艾拉 Nice to meet you, Ira.
你没事吧 You okay?
没事 我好极了 Yeah, I'm perfect.
她看上去挺奇怪的 不是吗 She looked weird, didn't she?
她看上去真的很奇怪 She looked really weird, she looked very weird.
我以前没见过她 I've never seen her before.
相信我 她看上去很奇怪 Trust me, she looked weird.
她的腿看上去很臃肿 Her legs looked heavy.
-真的 她肯定是腿部积水了 -哈利 - Really, she must be retaining water. - Harry.
相信我 她什么都积 Believe me, the woman saved everything.
你真的没事吗 You sure you're okay?
我没事 I'm fine.
这种事总会发生的 Look, it had to happen at some point,
在这个八百万人口的城市里 in a city of eight million people,
你必然会偶遇你的前妻 you're bound to run into your ex-wife,
于是 突然就发生了 so, boom, it happened,
我现在没事了 and now I'm fine.
我喜欢 挺实用的 I like it, it works.
让我有家的感觉 It says "Home" to me.
好吧 好吧 All right, all right.
让哈利和莎莉评价一下 Well let Harry and Sally be the judge.
你们觉得怎么样 What do you think?
挺好的 It's nice.
这不就完了 Case closed.
他当然喜欢 他是男的 Of course he likes it, he's a guy.
莎莉 Sally?
它哪里不好了 What's so awful about it?
实在是太差了 都不知道该从哪儿开始 It's so awful there's no way to even begin to explain
说它不好的地方 what's so awful about it.
亲爱的 我不会否认你的东西 Honey, I don't object to any of your things.
如果我们有多余的房间 If we had an extra room
你可以把你所有的东西都放进去 包括你的酒吧椅 you could put all of your things including your bar stools.
不 亲爱的 等等 No, honey, wait, wait, wait,
亲爱的 等等 等等 honey, honey, wait, wait, wait.
你不喜欢我的酒吧椅 You don't like my bar stools?
哈利 快过来 必须得有人和我是一边的 Harry, come on, someone has to be on my side.
我是你这一边的 I'm on your side,
我只是想帮你培养好一点的品味 I'm just trying to help you have good taste.
我的品味很好 I have good taste!
每个人都觉得自己有品味和幽默感 Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor
但不可能所有人的品味都很好 but they couldn't possibly all have good taste.
挺有意思的 You know, it's funny.
我和海伦刚开始也是这样 We started out like this, Helen and I.
我们有空白的墙壁 我们会往上挂东西 We had blank walls, we hung things,
我们一起挑选瓷砖 we picked out tiles together.
你知道之后发生了什么吗 Then you know what happens?
六年后 你发现自己 Six years later, you find yourself singing
当着艾拉的面在唱《流苏饰顶的马车》 "Surrey With The Fringe On Top" in front of Ira!
我们非得现在说这事吗 Do we have to talk about this right now?
没错 我觉得现在就是说这事的完美时机 Yes, I think that right now actually is the perfect time
因为我希望我们的朋友 to talk about this because I want our friends
能从我的经历中汲取智慧 to benefit from the wisdom of my experience.
现在一切都很好 Right now everything is great,
你们很幸福 陷入了爱河 everyone is happy, everyone is in love,
这很美好 但你们必须知道 and that's wonderful but you gotta know
早晚有一天 that sooner or later,
你们会为了这个盘子归谁 you're going to be screaming at each other
而吵得不可开交 about who's gonna get this dish.
这个八块钱的盘子 This eight dollar dish
会花掉你们一千块的话费 will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls
用于联系律师事务所争夺归属权 to the legal firm of that's-mine-this-is-yours.
哈利 Harry.
请听我说完 Please.
杰斯 玛丽 Jess, Marie,
算是为了你们自己 帮我一个忙 do me a favor for your own good.
趁现在把名字写在自己的书上 Put your name in your books right now
免得到时候混起来 不知道哪本书是谁的 before they get mixed up and you don't know who's is who's.
因为早晚有一天 不管你们信不信 Because some day, believe it or not,
你们会为了这张咖啡桌的归属权大吵十五回合 you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table.
这张旧货摊上收的破马车轮咖啡桌 This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers garage sale coffee table!
我还以为你喜欢呢 I thought you liked it.
我只是客气一下 I was being nice!
他偶遇了海伦 He just bumped into Helen.
我希望你知道 I want you to know
我永远不会想要这张马车轮咖啡桌 that I never want that wagon wheel coffee table.
我知道 我知道 我不该那么做 I know, I know, I shouldn't have done it.
哈利 你得想个办法 Harry, you're gonna have to try and find a way of not expressing
不要无时不刻地把自己的情绪表现出来 every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.
是吗 Oh really?
是的 Yes.
任何事都要分场合和时机 There are times and places for things.
下次你发表社交礼仪系列讲座的时候 Well the next time you're giving a lecture series on social graces
记得通知我 我会报名参加的 would you let me know, 'cause I'll sign up.
你没必要对我发火 You don't have to take your anger out on me.
我觉得我有资格对你发发火 Oh, I think I'm entitled to throw a little anger your way,
特别是当一个不会在夜里辗转反侧的人跑来告诉我 especially when I'm being told how to live my life
该怎么过自己的生活时 by Miss Hospital-Corners.
这话又是什么意思 What's that supposed to mean?
我的意思是 什么事都不会让你烦恼 I mean, nothing bothers you.
你从不会因为任何事难过 You never get upset about anything!
别胡说了 Don't be ridiculous!
怎么了 What?
你从不因为乔难过 You never get upset about Joe.
我从来没见过你为乔难过 I never see that back up on you.
这怎么可能呢 How is that possible?
难道你一点失落感都没有吗 Don't you experience any feelings of loss?
我没必要听你胡说八道 I don't have to take this crap from you!
如果你一点都不在乎乔了 为什么不去和别人约会 If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone?
我会和别人约会 I see people!
你还会约会 See people.
和乔分手之后 你和别人上过床吗 Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
这和上床又有什么关系 What the hell does that have to do with anything?
因为我和别人上床了 就能证明我不在乎乔了吗 That will prove I'm over Joe, because I fucked somebody?
哈利 那你得搬回新泽西了 Harry, you're gonna have to move back to New Jersey
因为你和纽约的所有女人都睡过了 because you've slept with everybody in New York
可我也没有发现这样能让你慢慢遗忘海伦 and I don't see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you!
再说 到了该上床的时候 Besides, I will make love to somebody
我会和别人上床的 而不是和你一样 when it is "Making love". Not the way you do it
像是为了报复似的 like you're out for revenge or something!
你说完了吗 Are you finished now?
是的 Yes.
我能说话了吗 Can I say something?
说吧 Yes.
对不起 对不起 I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
什么也别说 Don't say a word.
是猴子 是猴子 It's a monkey! It's a monkey!
猴子看 猴子做 Monkey see, monkey do!
是人猿 行走的人猿 It's an ape! Going ape!
是宝宝 It's a baby!
《人猿星球》 Planet of the Apes!
《人猿星球》 Planet of the Apes?
她刚刚说了是宝宝 She just said it's a baby.
你怎么不说是《笨蛋星球》 How about "Planet of the Dopes?"
看着不像宝宝 It doesn't look like a baby.
宝宝
大嘴 Big mouth.
宝宝版的米克·贾格尔 Mick Jagger as a baby.
人猿宝宝 人猿宝宝 Baby ape! Baby ape!
别再说人猿了 好吗 Stop with the apes, would you please?
-宝宝呼吸 -宝宝... - Baby's breath. - Baby...
-罗丝玛丽的宝宝嘴 -宝宝... - Rosemary's Baby's Mouth. - Baby...
回家好吗 比尔宝宝 Won't You Come Home, Bill Baby?
亲吻宝宝 Kiss the baby.
忧郁宝宝嘴 Melancholy baby's mouth!
宝宝鱼嘴 Baby fish mouth!
还有十五秒 现在是个大宝宝了 15 seconds. A big baby now.
宝宝生育潮 Baby boom.
宝宝... Baby...
画点稍微有点像的东西啊 Draw something resembling anything.
哭泣宝宝 Crying baby.
亲吻宝宝 Kiss the baby.
宝宝吐口水 Baby spitting up.
驱魔宝宝 Exorcist baby.
-宝宝... -宝宝... - Baby... - Baby...
是的 那是我的宝宝 Yes, sir, that's my baby.
不 我可没开玩笑 No sir, don't mean maybe.
好了 时间到 That's it, time's up.
宝宝儿语 Baby talk.
宝宝儿语 Baby talk?
那是什么 What's that?
没这种说法 That's not a saying.
不过"宝宝鱼嘴"这个说法倒是席卷全国了 But "Baby fish mouth" is sweeping the nation.
我经常听见人们说 I hear them talking.
最终得分 我们队110分 Final score, our team 110,
你们60分 you guys, 60.
你们绝对作弊了 Fix, definitely a fix.
真可悲 It's pathetic.
我不会画画 I can't draw.
不 这是宝宝 这很明显是说话的意思 No, that's a baby and it's clearly talking.
你画得很好 You're wonderful.
好了 谁想喝咖啡 All right, who wants coffee?
我想喝 我爱你 I do and I love you.
你们有茶吗 Do you have any tea?
一杯茶 One tea.
-要浓的 -好的 - Industrial strength. - OK.
我来帮你 I'll help you.
-无咖啡因的吗 -没错 - De-caf? - Yeah.
加奶 Cream.
卫生间在哪儿 Where's the bathroom?
穿过大厅那边的门就是 Through that door down the hall.
我觉得一点都不像是宝宝 Never looked like a baby to me.
哪里不像 Which part?
哪儿都不像 All of it.
杰斯 你不是要给我看你新书的封面吗 Jess, you were gonna show me the cover of your book.
对 对 在小书房里 Oh yeah, yeah, it's in the den.
朱利安 你别客气 再喝几杯酒 Look, Julian, help yourself. Have some more wine.
你随意 好吗 Whatever you like, okay?
我喜欢说"在小书房里" I like saying "It's in the den."
听上去感觉挺不错的 It's got a nice ring to it.
艾米莉对哈利来说有点太年轻了 不是吗 Emily is a little young for Harry, don't you think?
她是年轻 不过看看她都做了些什么 Well she's young but look what she's done.
她做了什么 What has she done?
她做甜点 She makes desserts.
你觉得朱利安是不是有点古板 Does Julian seem a little stuffy to you?
他是个好人 你应该和他聊聊 了解他 He's a good guy, you should talk to him, get to know him.
他长得太高了 不好聊天 He's too tall to talk to.
她一周做三千五百个巧克力慕斯派 She makes 35 hundred chocolate mousse pies a week.
艾米莉就是"艾米莉阿姨"吗 Emily is "Aunt Emily?"
他上周带我们去看大都会队的比赛了 He took us all to a Met game last week.
棒极了 It was great.
你们一起去看大都会队的比赛了 You all went to a Met game together?
是的 不过那是临时决定的 Yeah, but it was a last minute thing.
但莎莉讨厌棒球 But Sally hates baseball.
哈利根本不喜欢甜点 Harry doesn't even like sweets.
朱利安很好 Julian is great.
我知道 I know.
他是个成熟的人 He's a grownup.
艾米莉很好 Emily is terrific.
是啊 Yeah.
当然了 当我问她肯尼迪被刺杀的时候她在哪儿 Of course, when I asked her where she was when Kennedy was shot
她说"泰德·肯尼迪被刺杀了吗" she said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?"
不是吧 No.
喂 Hello.
你一个人吗 Are you alone?
是啊 我看书呢 Yeah, I was just finishing a book.
你能过来吗 Could you come over?
怎么了 What's the matter?
他要结婚了 He's getting married.
谁 Who?
乔 Joe!
我马上来 I'll be right there.
你好 Hi.
你没事吧 Are you all right?
进来吧 Come on in.
很抱歉这么晚给你打电话 I'm sorry to call you so late.
没关系 It's all right.
我需要餐巾纸 I need a Kleenex.
-好的 -好的 - Okay. - Okay.
他刚刚打电话来说"想看看你过得怎么样" He just called me up, "Wanted to see how you were."
"我挺好 你呢" "Fine, how are you?"
"挺好" "Fine."
他的秘书去度假了 His secretary's on vacation,
所有事都堆在了一起 everything's all backed up.
他在纽约接了个大案子 He's got a big case in New York.
又说了些乱七八糟的 Blah, blah, blah.
我一边听着电话 一边心想 And I'm sitting on the phone thinking,
"我不在乎他了 我真的不在乎他了 "I'm over him, I really am over him.
真不敢相信 I can't believe
有一天我会对这些事一点兴趣也没有" that I'd ever be remotely interested in any of that."
然后他说 "我有事要说" And then he said, "I have some news."
她在他的办公室工作 是律师助理 She works in his office, she's a paralegal.
她的名字叫金伯莉 Her name is Kimberley.
他才刚刚遇见她 He just met her!
她应该是他的过渡对象 She's suppose to be his transitional person,
而不是他的爱人 she's not suppose to be the one.
我一直在告诉自己 All this time I've been saying
是他不想结婚 that he didn't want to get married.
但事实是 But the truth is,
他只是不想和我结婚 he didn't want to marry me.
他不爱我 He didn't love me.
如果你现在可以挽回他 你会这么做吗 If you could take him back right now, would you?
不会 No!
但他为什么不想和我结婚 But why didn't he want to marry me?
我哪里不好了 What's the matter with me?
没什么不好 Nothing.
我很难相处 I'm difficult.
和你相处挺有挑战性的 You're challenging.
我太死板了 我把自己完全封闭了起来 I'm too structured, I'm completely closed off.
不过是以好的方式 But in a good way.
不不不 是我把他逼走了 No, no, no, I drove him away!
而且我就要四十岁了 And I'm gonna be 40.
什么时候 When?
总有一天 Someday.
还有八年呢 In eight years.
但这个期限一直都在 But it's there.
它默默地等在那里 就像个死胡同一样 It's just sitting there like this big dead end.
男人不一样 And it's not the same for men.
查理·卓别林七十三岁还有了孩子 Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was 73.
但他都老得都抱不动孩子了 Yeah but he was too old to pick them up.
过来 Come here.
来吧 Come here.
没事的 It's gonna be okay.
一切都会好起来的 等着瞧吧 It's gonna be fine, you'll see.
哭吧 反正这件衣服也不是我最喜欢的 Go ahead, it's not one of my favorites anyway.
没事的 It's gonna be okay.
好了 Okay.
我去泡茶 I'll make some tea.
哈利 Harry?
你能再抱我一会吗 Could you just hold me a little longer?
当然 Sure.
你舒服吗 Are you comfortable?
当然 Sure.
你想喝点什么吗 Do you want something to drink or something?
我不用了 No, I'm okay.
没关系 我正好要去喝点水 Well, I'm gonna get up for some water,
真的不麻烦 so it's really no trouble.
好吧 Okay.
喝点水 Water.
你把所有的录像带都按首字母顺序整理好了 You have all the video tapes alphabetized
还做了索引卡吗 and on index cards.
谢谢 Thank you.
你想看点什么吗 Do you wanna watch something?
不了 除非你想看 No, not unless you do.
不用了 没关系 No, that's okay.
你想睡觉吗 Do you wanna go to sleep?
好的 Okay.
你要去哪儿 Where are you going?
我得走了 I gotta go.
我得回家换衣服 Gotta go home, I gotta change my clothes
然后再去上班 你也一样 and then I have to go to work and so do you.
不过下班之后 我想带你去吃晚餐 But after work, I'd like to take you out to dinner
如果你有空的话 if you're free.
你有空吗 Are you free?
有空 Yes.
好 我晚点联系你 Fine, I'll call you later.
好的 Fine.
你的电话 Yours.
-喂 -很抱歉这么早打电话来 - Hello. - I'm sorry to call so early.
你没事吧 Are you all right?
我认识的人就不会这么早打电话来 No one I know would call at this hour.
我做了一件很不好的事 I did something terrible.
你做了什么 What did you do?
我认识的人不会这么早打电话来 No one I know would call at this hour.
-太糟糕了 -我需要聊聊 - It's so awful. - I need to talk.
-出什么事了 -怎么了 - What happened? - What's the matter?
哈利昨晚来了 Harry came over last night.
我昨晚去莎莉家了 I went over to Sally's last night.
因为乔结婚的事让我很难过 Because I was upset that Joe was getting married.
事情一件接一件地发生了 And one thing led to another.
等我回过神来 我们已经在接吻了 And before I knew it we were kissing and then--
长话短说 To make a long story short.
我们睡了 We did it.
他们睡了 They did it.
太好了 莎莉 That's great, Sally.
我们巴不得你们早点睡 We've been praying for it.
你们早就该这么做了 You should've done it in the first place.
这几个月来我们一直在劝你们这么做 For months we've been saying you should do it.
你们注定在一起 You guys belong together.
这感觉就像一石二鸟 It's like killing two birds with one stone.
这感觉就像负负得正 It's like two wrongs make a right.
感觉怎么样 How was it?
过程中的感觉挺不错的 The during part was good.
我感觉挺不错的 I thought it was good.
然后我就感觉很窒息 And then I felt suffocated.
然后就不太好了 But then I guess it wasn't.
-天哪 我很遗憾 -太糟糕了 - Jesus, I'm sorry. - The worst.
我必须离开 I had to get out of there.
他就这么走了 He just disappeared.
我感觉好难过 I feel so bad.
我好尴尬 I'm so embarrassed.
-我不怪你 -这太糟糕了 - I don't blame you. - That's horrible.
我好像生病了 I think I'm coming down with something.
我好像得感冒了 I think I'm catching a cold.
如果你们能成 那就再好不过了 Look, it would've been great if it worked out
但可惜没能成 but it didn't.
当你发现自己的前男友要结婚之后 You should never go to bed with anyone
就不应该去和任何人上床 when you find out your boyfriend is getting married.
谁在说话 Who's that talking?
-谁 -是杰斯在说话吗 - Who? - Is that Jess on the phone?
是录像机里的简·方达在说话 It's Jane Fonda on the VCR.
是布莱恩特·冈贝尔 It's Bryant Gumbel.
你想过来吃早餐吗 Do you wanna come over for breakfast?
算了 我不太想 No, I'm not up to it.
不了 我感觉很糟糕 No, I feel too awful.
-那就好 -那就好 - Good. - Good.
我是说 现在太早了 I mean, it's so early.
如果你愿意 晚点再联系我 But call me later if you want.
我晚点联系你 好吗 I'll call you later, okay?
-好的 再见 -再见 - Okay, bye. - Bye.
-再见 -再见 - Bye. - Bye.
天哪 God.
我懂 I know.
告诉我 我以后再也不用经历感情的烦恼了 Tell me I never have to be out there again.
你以后再也不用经历感情的烦恼了 You will never have to be out there again.
我就说我们犯了个错误 I'll just say we made a mistake.
莎莉 那是个错误 Sally, it was a mistake.
我只希望我能先说出口 I just hope I get to say it first.
我希望她比我先说出口 I hope she says it before I do.
那是个错误 It was a mistake.
你也能这么想 真让我松了口气 I am so relieved that you think so too.
我不是说昨晚过得不愉快 I'm not saying last night wasn't great.
很愉快 It was.
没错 很愉快 Yes, it was.
只是我们不该那么做 We just never should've done it.
我十分同意 I couldn't agree more.
我如释重负 I am so relieved.
那就好 Great.
是啊 Yeah.
两份蔬菜沙拉 Two mixed green salads.
能和一个人静静地坐在一起 不用说话 It is so nice when you can sit with someone
实在是太好了 and not have to talk.
这就像大多数时候和别人上床一样 It's just like most of the time you go to bed with someone,
她把自己的故事都告诉你 then she tells you all of her stories,
你把自己的故事告诉她 you tell her your stories.
但我和莎莉 But with Sally and me,
我们已经听过了对方的故事 we've already heard each other's stories.
一旦上床之后 So once we went to bed,
我们就不知道自己该做些什么了 你明白吗 we didn't know what we were suppose to do, you know?
当然明白 哈利 Sure, Harry.
我也不清楚 I don't know.
也许两个人的关系到了某一步 Maybe you get to a certain point in a relationship
再做爱就已经太迟了 你明白吗 where it's just too late to have sex, you know?
哈利要带同伴参加婚礼吗 Is Harry bringing anyone to the wedding?
好像不会 I don't think so.
他有和别人交往吗 Is he seeing anyone?
不过他确实在和一个人类学家交往 He was seeing this anthropologist but.
她长什么样 What does she look like?
苗条 漂亮 胸部很大 Thin, pretty, big tits.
你绝对讨厌的那种 Your basic nightmare.
你觉得怎么样 What do you think?
玛丽 Oh, Marie.
说实话 Tell the truth.
太美了 It's just beautiful.
我们今天齐聚一堂 We are gathered here today
来庆祝玛丽和杰斯的婚礼 to celebrate the marriage of Marie and Jess,
并且见证他们神圣的结婚誓言 and to consecrate their vows of matrimony.
他们的誓言会伴随他们的余生 The vows they take to join their lives,
他们将会一起分享的美酒 the wine they will share
会让他们所有的希望结合在一起 binds all their hopes together
他们佩戴的戒指 and by the rings their will wear,
将会向世人宣布他们为夫妻 they will be known to all as husband and wife.
我从没见过她这么幸福的样子 I've never seen her so happy.
她完全变成了另一个人 She's a totally different person.
是啊 没错 Oh yeah, she is.
这太好了 It's great.
那你有什么打算 What're we gonna do about you?
-我吗 -亲爱的 - Me? - Honey?
-是啊 -想跳舞吗 - Yeah. - Wanna dance?
好啊 我想跳舞 Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.
失陪了 Excuse us.
你好 Hi.
你好 Hello.
不错的婚礼 Nice ceremony.
很漂亮 Beautiful.
假期可真难熬 Boy, the holidays are rough.
每年我都想从感恩节前一天 Every year I just try to get from the day before Thanksgiving
直接跳到新年后的第一天 to the day after New Years.
这段时间里有很多自杀案例 A lot of suicides.
想要一份豌豆荚虾仁吗 Would you like a pea pod with a shrimp?
谢谢 Thank you.
你怎么样 How've you been?
挺好的 Fine.
有约会吗 Are you seeing anybody?
-哈利 -怎么了 - Harry? - What?
我不想聊这个话题 I don't wanna talk about this.
为什么 Why not?
我不想聊这个话题 I don't want to talk about it.
我们为什么不能让这件事过去呢 Why can't we get past this?
难道我们要永远背着这个包袱吗 I mean, are we gonna carry this thing around forever?
什么永远 那事才刚刚发生 Forever, it just happened.
已经是三周前的事了 It happened three weeks ago.
你知道人的一岁 You know how a year to a person
相当于狗的七岁吗 is like seven years to a dog?
知道 Yes.
你的意思是 我们之间有一人是狗吗 Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario?
是的 Yes.
谁是狗 Who is the dog?
你是狗 You are.
我是狗 I am?
我是狗 I am the dog.
我... I...
我没看出来 哈利 I don't see that, Harry.
如果有人是狗 那一定是你 If anybody is the dog, you are the dog.
你想装出一副我们之间的事没有任何意义的样子 You want to act like what happened didn't mean anything.
我没说那事没有意义 I'm not saying it didn't mean anything.
我的意思是 为什么一定要有这么大的意义呢 I am saying, why does it have to mean everything?
因为本来就有很大意义 Because it does!
而且你应该比任何人都清楚 And you should know that better than anybody
因为就在那事发生了之后 because the minute that it happened,
你直接走出了门 you walked right out the door.
我没有走出去 I didn't walk out.
没错 更像是跑出去 No, sprinted is more like it.
我们都同意那是个错误 We both agreed it was a mistake!
我犯过的最严重的错误 The worst mistake I ever made!
你到底想让我怎么样 What do you want from me?
我没想让你怎么样 I don't want anything from you!
好 好 Fine, fine!
不过我们先把事情说清楚 But let's just get one thing straight.
我那晚去你家不是为了和你上床 I did not go over there that night to make love to you,
我不是为了上床才去你那儿的 that is not why I went there.
但你用水汪汪的大眼睛看着我 But you looked up at me with these big weepy eyes.
"今晚别回家 哈利 "Don't go home tonight, Harry.
再抱我一会儿 哈利" Hold me a little longer, Harry."
那我能怎么办 What was I supposed to do?
你什么意思 你当时是在可怜我吗 What are you saying, you took pity on me?
不 我是... No, I was--
去你妈的 Fuck you!
各位 请大家听我说几句 Everybody, could I have your attention please?
我想向哈利和莎莉敬酒 I'd like to propose a toast to Harry and Sally.
敬哈利和莎莉 To Harry and Sally,
如果我或玛丽稍微被他们任何一人吸引了 if Marie or I had found either of them remotely attractive,
我们今天就不会站在这里 we would not be here today.
喂 是我 Hi, it's me.
现在是假日季 我觉得应该提醒你 It's is the holiday season and I thought I'd remind you
这是宽容和原谅的季节 that this is the season of charity and forgiveness.
虽然知道的人比较少 And although it's not widely known,
不过这也是卑躬屈膝的季节 it is also the season of groveling.
如果你想回我电话 So if you felt like calling me back,
我将十分乐意 I'd be more than happy to do
向你献上传统的圣诞卑躬屈膝 the traditional Christmas grovel.
回我电话 Give me a call.
你好 我现在不在家 Hi, I'm not home right now.
等我回家后马上回电 Call you right back.
如果你在家 请接电话 If you're there, please pick up the phone,
我真想和你聊聊 I really wanna talk to you.
你没有接电话 这让我觉得有下面几种可能 The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe
一 不在家 you're either A, not at home,
二 在家 但是不想和我说话 B, home but don't want to talk to me
三 在家 很想和我说话 or C, home, desperately want to talk to me
但是有些沉重的事压在了心上 but trapped under something heavy.
如果是一或三 请回我电话 If it's either A or C, please call me back.
很显然 她不想和我说话 Obviously, she doesn't want to talk to me.
那我还能怎么办 撞到头破血流吗 What do I have to do, be hit over the head?
如果她想给我打电话 她会的 If she wants to call me she'll call me.
我不想再让自己当傻瓜了 I'm through making a schmuck out of myself.
*如果你感到寂寞和失落* *If you're feeling sad and lonely*
*我可以为你提供一项服务* *There's a service I can render*
*告诉那个只懂你的人* *Tell the one who digs you only*
*我可以为你带来温暖和体贴* *I can be so warm and tender*
*联系我 或许现在晚了 但请联系我* *Call me, maybe it's late so just, call me*
*不要害怕给我打电话* *Don't be afraid to just, phone moi*
*联系我 我会陪在你身边* *Call me and I'll be around*
回我电话 Give me a call.
喂 哈利 Hi, Harry.
喂 你好 Hello, hi, hi.
我不知道你在家 I didn't know that you were there.
你在干什么呢 What're you doing?
我正打算出门 I was just on my way out.
你要去哪儿 Where are you going?
你有什么事 哈利 What do you want, Harry?
没什么 没什么 Nothing, nothing.
我只是想打电话来说声抱歉 I just called to say I'm sorry.
好的 Okay.
我得出门了 I gotta go.
等等 等等 Wait a second, wait a second.
你新年有什么安排 What're you doing for New Years?
你要去泰勒家的派对吗 Are you going to the Tyler's party?
因为我没有伴 'Cause I don't have a date
如果你也没有伴 and if you don't have a date,
我们总说 如果我们都没有伴的话 we always said that if neither one of us had a date,
我们就可以一起过新年 we could be together for New Years, you know?
我不能再这样了 我不是你的安慰奖 I can't do this anymore, I am not your consolation prize.
再见 Goodbye.
我们又一次回到了这里 And here we are, once again.
第十六届时代广场跨年演唱会 The 16th annual New Year Rockin' Eve
从现场向您直播... coming to you live from the--
这有什么不好的 What's so bad about this?
有迪克·克拉克的节目 这是新年传统 You got Dick Clark, that's tradition.
还有马洛玛饼干 有史以来最好吃的饼干 You got Mallomars, the greatest cookie of all time.
而且你马上就要让尼克斯队 And you're about to give the Knicks
得到自1973年以来的第一届冠军了 their first championship since 1973.
我不知道我为什么要让你拉我过来 I don't know why I let you drag me into this.
这样好多了 This is much better.
有新鲜空气 整条街都是我的 Fresh air, I have the streets all to myself.
谁需要参加大型多人聚会 Who needs to be at a big, crowded party
还假装自己玩得很开心 pretending to have a good time?
再说 现在是我看橱窗的完美时间 Plus this is the perfect time to catch up on my window shopping.
这样挺好的 This is good.
那个人说"看看卡片" So the guy says, "Read the card."
我要回家了 I'm going home.
你打不到车的 You'll never get a taxi.
天哪 Oh, God.
当然 你也应该能想到 You realize, of course,
我们永远也做不成朋友 that we can never be friends.
为什么 Why not?
我的意思是 What I'm saying
男人和女人做不了朋友 is that men and women can't be friends
因为这中间总是会牵扯到性 because the sex part always gets in the way.
才不是这样 That's not true.
男人无法和吸引自己的女人做朋友 No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive.
他总是会想和她做爱 He always wants to have sex with her.
如果那些女人不想和你们男人做爱呢 What if they don't wanna have sex with you?
无所谓 Doesn't matter,
因为这已经牵扯到性了 because the sex thing is already out there,
这段友谊注定会结束 so the friendship is ultimately doomed
就是这么回事 and that is the end of the story.
我想我们做不成朋友了 Well I guess we're not gonna be friends then.
我想是的 Guess not.
真可惜 That's too bad.
因为你是我在纽约唯一认识的人 Because you were the only person that I knew in New York.
我要走了 I'm going.
就快午夜了 It's almost midnight.
一想到没人和我接吻 我就... Well, the thought of not kissing somebody is just--
我可以吻你 I'll kiss you.
出租车 Hey, taxi!
出租车 Taxi!
留下来 拜托了 Come on, stay, please.
谢谢 杰斯 但我必须走了 Thanks, Jess, I just...I have to go.
再等两分钟 Oh, wait two minutes.
我明天再联系你 I'll call you tomorrow.
我想了很多 I've been doing a lot of thinking
结论是 我爱你 and the thing is, I love you.
什么 What?
我爱你 I love you.
你希望我怎么回应 How do you expect me to respond to this?
不如说你也爱我 How about you love me too?
不如说我要走了 How about, I'm leaving?
我说的话对你一点意义都没有吗 Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?
很抱歉 哈利 I'm sorry, Harry,
我知道今天是新年前夜 I know it's New Years Eve,
我知道你感到很寂寞 I know you're feeling lonely
但你不能就这么出现在我面前 告诉我你爱我 but you just can't show up here, tell me you love me
然后希望这句话能够弥补一切 and expect that to make everything all right.
这样不行 It doesn't work this way.
那怎么样才行 Well how does it work?
我不知道 I don't know
反正这样不行 but not this way.
这样行不行 How about this way?
我爱你在室外二十二度的时候感冒 I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out.
我爱你花上一个半小时来点一份三明治 I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich.
我爱你像看疯子一样看我的时候 I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose
鼻子上方皱起的眉头 when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.
我爱和你度过了一天之后 I love that after I spend a day with you
衣服上还能闻到你的香水味 I can still smell your perfume on my clothes
我爱你是我睡觉之前 and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to
最后一个想说话的人 before I go to sleep at night.
这并不是因为我很寂寞 And it's not because I'm lonely
也不是因为今天是新年前夜 and it's not because it's New Years Eve.
我今晚来这里 是因为当你明白 I came here tonight because when you realize
你想和某个人共度余生的时候 you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,
你会希望你的余生越早开始越好 you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.
你看 You see?
你就是这样 哈利 That is just like you, Harry.
你总是说出这种让我无法讨厌你的话 You say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you!
我讨厌你 哈利 And I hate you Harry.
我真的讨厌你 I really hate you.
我讨厌你 I hate you.
*友谊地久天长* *For auld lang syne*
*我们将举杯痛饮* *We'll take a cup of kindness yet*
*友谊地久天长* *For auld lang syne*
这首歌是什么意思 What does this song mean?
我到现在都没明白这首歌是什么意思 My whole life, I don't know what this song means.
我是说 "旧友岂能相忘" I mean, "Should old acquaintance be forgot."
是不是意味着我们应该忘记旧友 Does that mean we should forget old acquaintances
还是说如果我们不小心忘记了他们 or does it mean if we happen to forget them
我们应该记住他们 we should remember them,
但这也不可能 因为我们已经忘记他们了 which is not possible because we already forgot them?
也许这首歌的意思是 Well maybe it just means that
我们应该记住我们忘记了他们的事实 we should remember that we forgot them or something.
总之 这是一首关于旧友的歌 Anyway, it's about old friends.
*岂能相忘* *Be forgot*
*往昔的时光* *and days of old lang syne*
我们第一次见面的时候 The first time we met
我们讨厌对方 we hated each other.
不 你不讨厌我 是我讨厌你 No, you didn't hate me, I hated you.
我们第二次见面时 你都不记得我了 The second time we met, you didn't even remember me.
我记得你 I did too, I remembered you.
我们第三次见面的时候成为了朋友 The third time we met, we became friends.
我们当了很久的朋友 We were friends for a long time.
然后我们又不是朋友了 And then we weren't.
接着我们就相爱了 And then we fell in love.
三个月后 我们结婚了 Three months later, we got married.
只花了三个月 It only took three months.
十二年零三个月 12 years and three months.
我们举办了一场很棒的婚礼 We had a really wonderful wedding.
真的是一场很美的婚礼 It was a, it really was a beautiful wedding.
真的很棒 我们订了一个很大的椰子蛋糕 It was great. We had this enormous coconut cake.
超大的椰子蛋糕 A huge coconut cake
有好几层 在旁边还有 with the tiers and there was this
很厚的一层巧克力酱 very rich chocolate sauce on the side.
没错 因为不是每个人都喜欢把巧克力酱浇在蛋糕上 Right, because not everybody likes it on the cake
因为这会让蛋糕湿乎乎的 because it makes it very soggy.
尤其是椰子蛋糕 Particularly the coconut,
会吸掉很多的酱 所以 soaks up a lot of that stuff, so you really,
把巧克力酱浇在旁边挺重要的 it's important to keep it on the side.
没错 Right.