- IRON MAN: - Okay. Now, Sam...
Nice and slow.
Just like
we practiced.
Steady.
(WHIRRING)
Steady.
(CLATTERING)
(PHONE VIBRATING)
- That's not annoying. - At all.
Yeah, I know, Tony.
Sorry, I forgot.
Just ignore it.
Sure, ignore it.
We're just trying
to dispose of highly
unstable Pym particles.
No big.
- Why get your armor. - In a bunch.
Over puny particles?
Because if these
puny particles escape
that containment unit,
they might just shrink
everything on Earth
at the speed of light,
including the Earth itself,
to the size of a dot,
and that would be bad.
(WHIRRING)
(CLATTERING)
- What if it's. - An emergency?
This will be an emergency
if you don't focus.
(PHONE VIBRATES)
I can get it.
- (THUMPING) - No!
I just bought it.
I won't smash it. I have
a phone too, you know.
(THUDS)
Yeah. It's built
to withstand a gamma bomb.
Which my phone.
Is not... happening!
Uh, I gotta go!
Falcon,
I need you in here.
- I can get that. - No!
- We need you on. - The containment unit.
Any sudden movements
can cause...
(PHONE RINGING)
Whoa.
Ant-man!
Whew!
"Come to my lab,"
you said.
- "What's safer than. - The tower," you said.
- Did New York just. - Have an earthquake?
Nah, just my phone.
I'm popular.
I say, "Help me dispose"
of unstable mass
"altering particles,"
and you bring in a newbie
and Meat-Hooks McGee.
- I'm supposed. - To stay subatomic,
Make sure none of
the particles escape.
Like that one?
Don't move, Hulk.
(CHUCKLES)
Tingles.
Hulk!
(ALARM BEEPS)
JARVIS: Sir, there's
a Pym particle loose.
Not to mention,
a teeny tiny Hulk.
- That's a recipe. - For disaster.
You're never going
to let me live this
down, are you?
- No. - No, I'm not.
Guys, emergency.
Don't panic.
It's my mother.
She's here.
(SIGHS)
It's going to be
one of those days.
What's the emergency?
My mom's on her way.
- We have an alarm. - For that?
Or the Hulk was
accidentally shrunk down
by an unstable.
Pym particle.
Thanks to Falcon fielding
phone calls from his mom.
- So, watch where you step. - (STEPS THUMP)
- Ant-man, - no one told me.
The Incredible Shrinking.
Annoyance was coming in today.
Hawkeye...
Unless you want to spend
a day inside of your own
smelly boot again...
- Why don't you let. - The past be the past.
And do something useful?
(BEEPS)
(WHIRRING)
Whoa!
(GRUNTS)
Like that.
(GROANS)
I guess I found
the Hulk.
Ooh! You were just taken
to the learning hall.
It's school.
Indeed, and it was
"in session."
- Hmm? - (GROANS)
- I can shrink down. - And get him back to size,
- But more importantly, - we have to contain.
That unstable particle
or bad things will happen.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
We have a doorbell?
- It's too late. - She's here!
Why the great concern?
You don't understand.
She doesn't know
I'm an Avenger.
- My mom thinks. - I'm just. - A S.H.I.E.L.D. liaison.
She'd make me quit,
knowing the danger
I'm always in.
Make you?
(CHUCKLES)
How old are you?
The irony is,
the more we worry
about Mom,
the less we actually
have to worry,
because there won't
be a world
or a mom
to worry about.
Tony, I'm...
Out.
Whoo, man!
You were totally taken
to the learning hall.
- I've never seen him. - That angry before.
- Well, to be fair, - you almost let Earth.
Shrink out of existence
over a lie to your mother.
- Right! - I gotta get changed.
- Cover me! - Whoa, whoa, - Whoa, whoa.
We are not lying
to your mom...
Without getting
something out of it.
Ugh, what do you want?
Nothin', but the next time
your mom makes cookies
I want first dibs.
Hmm, nothing on
the gamma energy scans.
Yeah, he's too small.
- I'll shrink in. - And get a reading.
Find Hulk and the particle
can't be far behind.
- With this adaptor, - I can hold the particle.
Long enough to get into
the containment unit.
Don't worry. We'll have this
wrapped up as fast as you
can say, "Hi, Falcon's mom."
(GRUNTING)
I would strongly advise you
to rethink your course
of action, Sam.
(GRUNTS)
Honesty is
the best policy.
(WHIMPERS)
- Rip the bandage off. - And get it over with.
- (GRUNTS) - Not this time, Cap.
- I never told her. - I became the Falcon.
- If I do now, - I'm done.
Finito.
(WHIMPERS)
Don't worry.
Your secret's
safe with me.
As long as you remember
our deal about the cookies.
And what do you want?
Nothing. I have similar
figurehead issues
with All-Father Odin.
I feel you.
- (GASPS) You actually used. - That slang correctly.
- Cold. - Cool.
- Yes. - (GROANS)
Okay.
I'm going in.
(INHALES)
(DINGS)
Sam, I hope this
is a good time.
The best.
Avengers, my mom.
Mom, The Avengers.
'Kay, let's go.
Are you kidding?
- I want to see. - Where you work,
And I have to get
a picture of my boy
with real Avengers.
- You remember when. - You used to pose.
- With those. - Cardboard cutouts.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
You sure we can't
just go do lunch?
Are those cookies?
(LAUGHS)
(CAMERA FLASHES)
NANOBOT:
Commence cleansing.
IRON MAN: Any hits?
Yeah, I'm following
a pretty strong signal.
If I can just get past
your germaphobe-a-bots.
- Yeah. I live with. - The Hulk, remember?
The nano-janitors keep
the tower springtime fresh.
- (CRASHING) - Point taken.
And speaking of,
I think I found
our green goliath.
And the particle.
(HULK ROARING)
(GRUNTING)
Smash cleaning robots!
(SCREAMS)
- Easy, Hulk. - Just one second,
- And we'll have you. - Back to normal.
NANOBOT:
Contaminant found.
Neutralizing.
- Get back here, - blue dot!
(GRUNTS)
Hulk, no!
- Tell me you got. - The particle.
Yeah, he got it.
And now,
"It" is "Them."
We're in trouble.
Oh, boy.
Aw, you gotta
be kiddin' me!
Why do you not just
wash it down with water?
You can't wash cookies
down with water!
It's gotta be milk!
Milk or nothin'!
(GRUNTS)
(GULPS)
Worth it.
Sam has told me
so much about you.
I feel like
I know you all.
You're the one
who thinks he's funny.
Captain America
keeps his room neat
and likes his
French fries lined up.
And you're the one that
sheds his yellow locks
all over the place.
- Well, you know, - as a liaison,
I liaise, which means
noticing the details.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Where is that
cookie-hogging Hulk?
I made him a whole
separate batch of treats.
And I brought mints.
I hear he suffers
from chronic halitosis.
(CHUCKLES)
Hey, how about
another picture?
- Then, maybe we can. - Go get lunch before.
- You say something else. - That'll get me fired.
Sam Wilson,
if I didn't know
any better,
I'd say you were trying
to hustle me out of here.
Uh, guys...
Just press the button
and they'll be a big flash.
- That's what. - I'm worried about.
How bad is it?
(RUMBLING)
Thanks to.
Mr. Anger Management...
(GRUNTS)
We have an unknown number
of unstable particles loose
in the tower.
I can't predict their effects,
their location... Anything!
- We need to vacuum them. - Into the containment unit.
- Before they escape. - The building.
Jarvis, tower lockdown.
Pass code,
"I heart Ascots."
What?
- I'd never be caught dead. - Saying those words.
- Unless it's. - An emergency.
The warmer the color
temperature, the easier
the particles are to see.
Jarvis, turn the lights
to 2000 kelvin.
(BUZZES)
- Where do. - Those vents go?
Everywhere.
NANOBOT:
Contaminant found.
Neutralizing.
- Commence cleaning. - (GRUNTS)
Contaminant found.
Neutralizing.
(LASER BLAST)
What's going on?
Oh, yeah. That...
- It's called, - "Spontaneous training."
- Yeah, guys do it. - All the time.
- To keep them. - On their toes.
(GLASS BREAKING)
So, how about lunch?
- (RUMBLING) - (GRUNTS)
Contaminant found.
Neutraliz...
(EXPLODES)
Are those my
nano-janitors?
Maybe you should get
some air fresheners
or an off switch.
Contaminant found...
Contaminant neutralizing...
(ROARS)
- (GRUNTS) - (THUDS)
- (GRUNTS) - Contaminant found.
(EXPLODES)
(WHIRRING)
Because of their instability,
I can only contain so many.
Pym particles at a time
with this rig.
All right,
here's the recap.
Hulk smashed an unstable.
Pym particle. It multiplied.
Yellow makes things big.
Blue makes things small.
Second biggest brain
on the team needed in the lab.
Let's go.
Oh, your mom.
Yeah. Sorry, Sam.
No time for tact.
Mrs. Wilson, your son's
a part of our team.
He's... (SCREAMS)
(LASER BLAST)
This doesn't
seem safe at all.
And-and what did he mean,
part of the team?
- Tony meant that. - I'm a team player.
You know, always
helping out with...
Whatever.
Sam, man up,
and let's go!
Mom, I have something
to tell you.
Get down!
And there goes our expert
on all things shrinking.
(CLATTERING)
(SIGHS) And this is why
I prefer to work with ants.
(BEEPS)
Not good.
(GRUNTS)
Commence...
(WHIRRING)
Stark, the unstable.
Pym particles
- are overriding. - My stable ones.
I can't resize.
I'm stuck until you siphon
the unstable energy off of me.
Of course.
Mrs. Wilson is a civilian.
We need to get her to safety.
Hawkeye, Falcon...
Uh, Cap, Falcon's
not here, remember?
- Oh, brother. - Just do it!
Retreat to the hallway.
I got you... (SCREAMS)
(RUMBLING)
(SCREAMS)
That ain't right.
- And don't even try. - To tell me that's normal. - (RUMBLING)
Mom, run!
(WHIMPERS)
Aah!
Crazy training
exercise, huh?
Feels pretty real.
- (SCOFFS) - Oh, Sam.
- You are a lot. - Of amazing things,
A liar isn't
one of them.
Spill it!
Ah...
- Look out! - (SCREAMS)
Sam!
Mom!
Ah!
(ROARS)
Heard screams.
Mom!
Oh. All good?
Very.
(COUGHS)
Wow.
- This is one. - For the blog.
Here, for my new
favorite Avenger.
Cookies! Yes!
Oh, thanks,
Sam's mom.
- We gotta get you. - Somewhere safe!
- But what about. - The Hulk?
Trust me when I say,
Hulk can take care
of himself.
- Come on! - (YELPS) - Slow down, Sam.
I'm in heels!
Hmm.
Save you for last.
(GRUNTS)
(CLANKS)
Well,
this is humiliating.
- Target acquired... - (GRUNTS)
- Cleaning! - Cleaning!
Neutralizing.
(GRUNTING)
Oh, good.
You're alive.
(CHUCKLES)
I thought I crushed you
with my, uh, assets.
Mom, stay here
with Hawkeye, please.
Just for a second
while I ask Mr. Stark
how to get out of here.
(GRUNTS)
Contaminant found.
Ah!
Hawkeye smash!
Nice!
So, any embarrassing
stories about Sam
you'd like to share
while, uh, we're...
Training?
Hmm.
(CHUCKLES)
(LASER BLAST)
- Whoa! - Sam!
It's about time.
- Why aren't you. - In your armor?
You know, forget it.
Mom, right?
You've got to think
about your team here, Sam.
I'm going to get fired
and grounded.
Unexpected trip
to the Microverse, huh?
Yup.
Got to be more fun
than working with ants.
Bug off.
(GRUNTING)
Sam, you're now officially
the smartest guy in the room.
How much smarter do you have
to be to realize this lie
has gone too far?
Get in the game, Sam.
(SIGHS)
Mom, stay with the guys.
- I've got to take care. - Of something.
So...
How you liking.
New York so far?
There!
Redwing, to me.
- CAPTAIN AMERICA: - The tide is turning. - Against us.
- We need to fall back. - To another room.
THOR: Aye.
Hope this works.
Falcon.
(LAUGHS)
Let me be the first
to say, that gun...
- Language! - Vacuums really well.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(YELPS)
(LAUGHS)
Do you have something
to say to me?
Samuel?
Wait.
You knew?
- I don't know. - Which is worse.
- That you think. - Your mother's dumb.
Or that I'm blind.
I have a blog.
Uh, not to break this up,
but we need to get
the situation contained.
- (RUMBLING) - (WHIMPERS)
What was that?
SAM: Whoa!
Somebody fix me!
- We're going to need. - A bigger containment gun.
- (SCREAMS) - (DOG BARKING)
Aah!
I know my strengths,
Sam, but physics isn't
my strongest suit.
If we're going to stop this,
it has to be you.
- My upgrade isn't. - Going to be enough.
And the vacuum
containment chamber
in Tony's lab
doesn't have
the capacity for this
many particles either.
We need to get Ant-Man
back from the Microverse
to modify it.
Then do it.
Okay, Cap.
Need your shield.
The vibranium apparently
neutralizes the effects
of the Pym particles.
And with this copper wire,
- I'm essentially turning it. - Into a particle magnet.
Hawkeye, I need you, Cap,
and Thor to guard the hold.
Nothing gets in or out.
Particles or otherwise.
Sure thing.
Cold.
There you go.
Should give you more
barrier latitude, Cap.
Uh, thanks?
- Mom? - Yeah, honey?
Want to see something
really cool?
(LAUGHS)
Now, this is why
I came to visit!
Avenger Moms,
assemble.
- Please don't. - Say that, Mom.
And can you stop moving?
I brought you to keep you safe
not to drop you into
nature's building blocks.
There they are!
Oh, hi.
Falcon's mom,
I presume.
- You can call me. - Darlene.
- Later. - There's a breach. - In the tower.
- And we need to lock. - These particles down fast.
- Well, there's. - A good thought finally.
One question.
How do you propose
we get back to...
Oh, I don't know...
Normal size?
With this.
Did you mod my gun?
Yup.
Who wants
to go first?
Him.
Now, Cap!
Good to have you back.
Good to be back.
Quick thinking,
for a liaison.
Look, Tony, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sure we'll think
of a torturous laundry list
- of duties for you. - To make this up to me,
But first...
Let's get the Hulk.
Ow! I'm getting
a cramp! (GROANS)
Do you know what happens
when this gun reaches
critical mass?
Uh, yeah.
The world ends.
Can you modify the vacuum
collection chamber in the lab
- before that. - Actually happens?
Done. Now, go bring
the Hulk down a peg...
Or 40.
(GROANS)
Hulk, say cheese!
(WHIRRING)
Don't!
Puny fly!
(WHIRRING)
(SCREAMS)
(SPLASHES)
Come on.
Just a little more.
Hold on.
- (LAUGHS) - That's my boy!
Get it done, Sam!
- Now! - Hurry!
(GRUNTS)
(RUMBLING)
(BOTH GROAN)
I think I'm just going
to lay here for a while.
Want your mom
to tuck you in?
I now see why you
work with ants.
(GIGGLES)
Mom, quit!
You're embarrassing me.
It's the least I can do
for you lying to me.
Yeah. That was
a big mistake.
And if I thought you
hadn't been through
enough pain for that lie,
I would be furious.
But look, Sam.
When you started this whole.
S.H.I.E.L.D. adventure,
- I had to give Fury. - My permission.
- Permission? - Uh...
Of course.
Sam is only 17.
Ah-ha. And now,
you're sorry.
The point is, Fury
told me when you
became an Avenger.
And I didn't
make a peep.
Even when you
lied about it.
I thought you'd be worried.
That you'd say no.
Of course, I worry.
It's my job.
But it is also my job
to believe in you.
To help you
follow your dreams.
To let you fly.
Ha!
Because he is a Falcon.
Funny!
(GROANS)
Not now.
Man, you really need
to take a comedy
class or something.
Timing?
You're an Avenger, Sam.
My favorite Avenger.
No offense, Hulk.
Just keep making
me cookies.
We're good.
- I'll never lie. - To you again, Mom.
I promise.
For real.
I know.
Okay, enough mush.
- Are you superheroes. - Or what?
Now, get in here, guys.
All of you.
I need at least one proper
photo to mark the occasion.
Everybody say,
"Near death experience!"
ALL: Near death
experience!