>> PREVIOUSLY ON NIP/TUCK...
>> I LIKE MY RING, AND IT CAME
FROM MIKE'S HEART, WHICH IS
REALLY GOOD, AND I DON'T THINK
YOU REALLY HAVE ONE.
>> I DO HAVE ONE, AND IT BELONGS
TO YOU.
>> MIKE, I JUST NEED YOU
TO BACK UP.
>> ALL THE WAY TO TAKIN'
MY RING BACK?
>> I LOVE YOU, MRS. McNAMARA.
>> THE KEY TO S'MORES IS GETTING
THE PERFECT PROPORTION BETWEEN
THE CHOCOLATE BAR TO, UH,
GRAHAM CRACKER.
>> LOOK AT THAT.
>> NICE.
>> MMM.
>> YOU MARRY A WOMAN YOU DON'T
EVEN KNOW, WHO TRIES
TO KILL YOU.
>> I DON'T NEED A LECTURE
FROM YOU.
[MR. SANDMAN
INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING]
WELL, TELL US WHAT YOU DON'T
LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF,
MRS. PIERCE.
>> WELL, I GUESS THE FACT THAT
I'M NOT PERFECT.
>> WELL, WHO IS? HEH HEH.
>> BARBIE.
>> IS BARBIE A FRIEND OF YOURS?
[BOTH LAUGH]
>> WELL, I'VE WORSHIPPED HER
SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.
>> YOU MEAN THE DOLL.
>> OH, SHE'S MORE THAN A DOLL.
BARBIE AND KEN ARE THE SYNTHETIC
EMBODIMENT OF THE IDEAL
POSTMODERN COUPLE.
>> NOT TO MENTION THEY'VE BEEN
TOGETHER FOR 50 YEARS, NEVER
AGING, JUST CHANGING OUTFITS.
>> OF COURSE, HE DOESN'T HAVE
A PENIS, AND SHE W--
DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING.
>> BECAUSE THEY'VE MADE THE
ULTIMATE MONOGAMOUS COMMITMENT,
A SEX-FREE RELATIONSHIP.
>> WELL, THIS IS ALL VERY
INTERESTING, BUT, UM,
WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU HERE?
>> [GASPS] SHOW THEM, SKIP.
SKIP HAD HIS NIPPLES REMOVED.
>> MM-HMM.
>> ONE LESS EROGENOUS ZONE FOR
HIM TO THINK ABOUT. AND NOW WE'D
LIKE YOU TO REMOVE MINE.
>> YEAH.
LOOK, WE'RE NOT CRAZY, OK? WE'RE
BOTH VERY SUCCESSFUL REALTORS.
EVEN IN THIS MARKET, WE SOLD
MORE HOUSES LAST YEAR THAN ANY
OTHER TEAM IN WEST LOS ANGELES.
>> HONEY, LET ME EXPLAIN.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> MY NIPPLES ARE HARD
ALL THE TIME.
>> [SIGHS] ALL THE TIME.
>> ALL THE TIME. IT'S LIKE--
IT'S LIKE...
>> IT DOESN'T STOP.
>> BIG GUMDROPS ON MY--
IT'S EMBARRASSING. I MEAN,
I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT'S
LIKE TO HAVE SOMEONE LOOK ME
IN THE EYE FOR ONCE.
>> SHE HAS A BEAUTIFUL MIND.
>> THANK YOU.
>> YOU DO, HONEY.
>> SO HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?
>> OH. WELL, UH, WE MET AT
THE NATIONAL DOLL COLLECTORS
CONVENTION IN SAN DIEGO 5 YEARS
AGO. UH, WE'VE BOTH BEEN
OBSESSED WITH BARBIE AND KEN...
>> OBSESSED.
>> SINCE WE WERE LITTLE KIDS,
AND WE JUST WANNA TAKE ONE MORE
STEP TO BECOMING MORE LIKE THEM.
>> IT'S EVOLUTION.
>> THAT'S ALL.
>> HMM. SO WHAT IF THE TWO
OF YOU SPLIT UP?
>> OH.
>> UH, HOW WOULD YOU EXPLAIN
THESE MODIFICATIONS TO YOUR
NEW PARTNERS?
>> WE'VE BOTH HAD TONS OF
SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS...
>> TONS.
>> AND THEY ALWAYS ENDED UP
BEING ABOUT OWNERSHIP AND
EXCLUSIVITY, NOT ABOUT LOVE.
>> ELIMINATING SEX HAS ALLOWED
US TO REALLY RELATE. WE GET
TO SEE EACH OTHER OUTSIDE OF OUR
OWN SELFISH DEMANDS. HEH.
>> THINK ABOUT IT. IF BARBIE AND
KEN HAD BEEN ABLE TO HAVE SEX,
DO YOU REALLY THINK THEIR
MARRIAGE WOULD HAVE LASTED
50 YEARS?
>> * AHH,
MAKE ME
BEAUTIFUL *
* MAKE ME
THE PERFECT SOUL,
A PERFECT MIND,
A PERFECT FACE,
A PERFECT
LIE *
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
>> EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU TELL ME
WHERE I MIGHT FIND
A DR. McNAMARA? I HAVE
A PACKAGE FOR HIM.
>> YOU FOUND HIM. JUST PUT IT
RIGHT HERE ON THE DESK, PLEASE.
>> SIGN HERE, PLEASE.
>> [CLEARS THROAT]
>> THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
>> UH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> AREN'T YOU GONNA OPEN IT?
>> OK.
[MARVELLOUS BY
DRAGONETTE PLAYING]
>> * OH, MY,
YOU'RE DRIVIN' ME CRAZY,
DON'T KNOW WHY I WANT YOU, BABY,
MY EYES ARE BIGGER THAN MY... *
>> OK, WHAT, UM--WHAT IS THIS?
HOLD ON A SECOND.
>> [LAUGHS]
>> * WHEN YOU WALK
INTO THE ROOM,
WHOM SHOULD I SAY IS CALLIN' ME?
WHY YOU WANNA GIVE ME
TROUBLE, BABY? *
>> UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> HELPING YOU WITH YOUR
PACKAGE, DOCTOR. [LAUGHS]
>> * YOU'RE DANGEROUS
>> KAZAM.
>> * OH, OH,
AND MARVELLOUS,
I'M A FOOL FOR YOUR WICKEDNESS,
I THINK YOU'RE REALLY
WORKIN' IT,
YOU'RE CRUEL,
AND I'M GETTIN' MYSELF
INTO TROUBLE *
>> HEY, SEAN, YOUR 2:00--
>> * GETTIN' MYSELF
INTO TROUBLE *
>> MRS. COX, PLEASE. WE CAN
STILL FIT YOU IN.
>> THANK YOU. I THINK I'VE
SEEN ENOUGH.
>> PSST. DID YOU WANNA FINISH?
>> UH, FINISH WHAT? I MEAN,
WHO ARE YOU? WHERE DID YOU
COME FROM?
>> BOY, YOU ARE GRUMPY.
NO WONDER DR. TROY WANTED ME
TO CHEER YOU UP.
>> DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
WITH THIS?
>> OH HO. IS SHE STILL HERE?
I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SEE HER
IN PERSON, BUT THE AGENCY
TOLD ME SHE WAS A 10.
>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING,
CALLING A STRIPPER
TO THE OFFICE?
>> A STRIPPER? SEAN, I WOULDN'T
DO THAT TO YOU. SHE'S A HOOKER.
>> YOU BOUGHT ME A PROSTITUTE?
>> OF COURSE I DID.
>> WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG
WITH YOU?
>> YOU BEEN WALLOWING IN YOUR
MISERY EVER SINCE JULIA TOOK
THE KIDS TO NEW YORK. I WAS JUST
TRYIN' TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
>> CHEAP SEX IS NOT WHAT I NEED
RIGHT NOW. IN FACT, I'M NOT
INTERESTED IN ANY KIND OF SEX
RIGHT NOW. I'M THINKIN' ABOUT
TAKIN' A BREAK.
>> A BREAK, FROM SEX.
>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
>> WELL, NOTHING, IF YOU WANNA
BE A PRIEST OR JUST WALLOW
IN YOUR MID-LIFE SELF-PITY
CRISIS BULLSHIT.
>> IT'S NOT SELF-PITY.
IT'S SELF-PRESERVATION, OK?
>> RIGHT.
>> LAST TIME I JUMPED INTO BED
WITH SOMEONE AFTER JULIA,
I WOUND UP WITH TEDDY. AND AFTER
THAT, WITH SOME DRUG ADDICT
STABBING ME IN THE LEG.
>> WHICH IS WHY I THOUGHT
I SHOULD PICK THIS TIME. RIGHT?
>> HEH. YOU KNOW...
MAYBE TRACY HAD A POINT.
MORE OFTEN THAT NOT, SEX RUINS
RELATIONSHIPS. I MEAN, THAT'S
WHAT MESSED UP ME AND JULIA THIS
TIME. THAT'S WHAT'S COMPLICATED
ALMOST EVERY RELATIONSHIP
I'VE EVER HAD.
I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN FOR
ME. NEXT TIME, PUT IT IN A CARD.
[DING]
>> THANK YOU.
>> OHH. OHH. I ATE TOO MUCH.
>> OH, THANKS FOR SURPRISING ME,
SWEETIE. OK? I'LL CALL
YOU LATER.
>> WAIT. HONESTLY, HAVE I GAINED
WEIGHT SINCE WE STARTED DATING?
>> SWEETHEART, YOU LOOK
FANTASTIC. TRUST ME, OK?
GOTTA GO.
>> I'M A LITTLE FREAKED OUT
ABOUT THIS. I MEAN, JUST ANSWER
ME HONESTLY. DO I NEED TO START
SMOKING AGAIN?
>> KIMBER, CHRISTIAN...
>> YEAH.
>> THIS IS MY FRIEND LOLA.
>> HEY. SO, UH, YOU TWO GO WAIT
IN MY OFFICE. I'LL BE IN
IN A SECOND.
[WHISPERING] Now, she's got
a problem. OK? NOT YOU. MWAH.
>> SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT'S HOW
I LOOK.
>> SO, YOU'RE, UH, LOLA WOLAD...
>> WLODKOWSKI.
>> MMM.
>> [SNICKERING]
>> WHAT ARE YOU GRINNING AT?
>> I'M JUST--I'M JUST REAL HAPPY
FOR YOU. IS THAT SO BAD?
>> HAPPY FOR WHAT?
>> EH, YOU KNOW. HEH HEH. HEH.
>> [SIGHS] HE'S A BIT OF
AN IDIOT, BUT HE IS A VERY
GOOD SURGEON.
>> OK.
>> WE'RE FRIENDS. LOLA IS
NOT GAY.
>> ME? NO. HEH. PLEASE.
I AM A CARD-CARRYING HETERO.
HEH HEH HEH. ALTHOUGH, LIZ WOULD
BE THE FIRST GIRL I'D CALL
IF I WERE SO INCLINED.
>> OH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> YEAH, WE MET AT ADAM & EVE.
I'VE BEEN GOIN' THERE SINCE
I WAS A KID.
>> EH, THE NUDIST CAMP?
LIZZIE. WHO KNEW? HEH HEH.
>> WELL, I WAS LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING TO HELP ME LOVE MYSELF
AGAIN AFTER MY DIVORCE.
>> SURE. UH, SO HOW CAN WE
HELP YOU?
>> SHE NEEDS HER MOLES REMOVED.
I NOTICED THEM AT THE POOL,
AND SHE CAME OVER TO ME ALL
ON HER HIGH HORSE--
>> YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, SHE WAS
STARING, WHICH WE DO NOT DO.
HEH HEH. BUT IT'S COMMON WITH
THE NEWBIES. YOU KNOW, THEY GET
ALL DISTRACTED BY GENITALS AND
ALL THE BARE FLESH.
>> IN ANY CASE, I TOLD HER THAT
YOU WOULD REMOVE THEM WITH NO
SCAR AND THAT YOU WOULD GIVE HER
A SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT,
BECAUSE SHE HAS NO INSURANCE.
>> HEH. OF COURSE. YOU KNOW THAT
ANY FRIEND OF LIZZIE'S IS A
FRIEND OF OURS. IN FACT, BECAUSE
YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND, WE'LL
JUST THROW IN SOME FREE LIPO.
>> YOU MEAN TO MAKE ME SKINNY?
>> MM-HMM.
HEH HEH HEH. LOOK, YOU KNOW,
I JUST FIGURED, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE WALKIN' AROUND NUDE ALL
THE TIME, MAYBE YOU JUST WANNA
STREAMLINE YOUR SILHOUETTE
A LITTLE BIT.
>> [LAUGHS]
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> I DIDN'T MEAN ANY--
>> NO, I--
>> I AM NOT INSULTED, LIZ.
I'M NOT INSULTED. HE IS JUST A
VICTIM OF HIS OWN SELF-LOATHING,
REALLY. THANKS, DOCTOR, BUT, UM,
I'LL PASS ON THE LIPO. I'M FINE
WITH THE WAY I AM.
>> RIGHT.
>> YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
COME UP TO ADAM & EVE SOMETIME.
>> YEAH.
>> PEOPLE DISCOVER ALL SORTS
OF THINGS ABOUT THEMSELVES.
IT'S HARD TO KEEP SECRETS WHEN
YOU'RE NAKED. HEH HEH. HEH HEH.
>> HEH. YEAH. I HAVE NO PROBLEM
GETTING NAKED. [CLEARS THROAT]
>> OH, WELL, SOCIAL NUDITY IS
SOMETHING ELSE. IT REQUIRES
DROPPING FACADES
AND PRETENSIONS.
YOU'VE NEVER HAD A REALLY BIG
WOMAN, HAVE YOU, DOC?
DO I MAKE YOU NERVOUS?
>> NERVOUS? NO. I--NOT A BIT.
YOU'RE QUITE A LOT OF GAL, LOLA.
>> NOT TOO MUCH GAL FOR YOU?
>> HEH.
>> * WHATEVER LOLA WANTS...
>> NO, SOME MEN JUST AREN'T
READY FOR ME, AND I'M NOT JUST
TALKING ABOUT THE POUNDS.
>> * AND, LITTLE MAN,
LITTLE LOLA WANTS YOU *
>> YOU TWO, IS IT TIME TO GET
A ROOM?
>> HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH.
>> * NO REGRETS...
>> UH, NO. HEH HEH. BUT I THINK
IT'S TIME WE TOOK A LOOK
AT THOSE MOLES.
>> * RESIGN YOURSELF,
YOU'RE THROUGH *
>> MS. PIERCE, BEFORE WE GET
STARTED, I'D LIKE YOU TO LOOK
OVER THESE CONSENT FORMS.
IT'S TO REMIND YOU THAT THIS IS
AN ELECTIVE SURGERY AND YOU'RE
AWARE OF THE RISKS.
>> SKIP ALREADY TOLD ME WHAT
TO EXPECT. I'M NOT CONCERNED.
I'M EXCITED, ACTUALLY. HEH.
>> NOW, ARE YOU PLANNING TO HAVE
KIDS? BECAUSE IF YOU'RE HOPING
TO BREAST-FEED--
>> OH, I CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN.
WELL, KEN AND BARBIE NEVER DID,
SO...
>> HEH. OF COURSE. IF YOU
WOULD OPEN YOUR ROBE.
>> MM-HMM.
>> AND YOU PROMISE THERE
WON'T BE SCARRING?
>> UH, YEAH. UM, THAT'S WHY I
WANNA PUT YOU UNDER ANESTHESIA.
Z-PLASTYS WILL STOP ANY KELOIDS
FROM FORMING. AHEM.
>> STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS ME
WITH THE DETAILS, DR. SEXY.
I JUST WANNA KNOW I GET
MY BODY BACK.
>> YOU WANNA GET YOUR BODY BACK,
TRY 20 MINUTES ON THE TREADMILL
EVERY DAY.
>> OH. THOSE GERBIL WHEELS?
PLEASE. I GET ENOUGH EXERCISE
IN THE BEDROOM, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
YOU DON'T GLOW LIKE THIS
IF YOU'RE NOT HAVING GREAT SEX
5 TIMES A WEEK, BELIEVE YOU ME.
>> [SHUDDERS] THAT TICKLES.
>> SORRY.
>> IT'S OK. THEY'VE ALWAYS
BEEN SENSITIVE.
>> WELL, THE DERMAL-NERVE
NETWORKS AND CONCENTRATIONS OF
TISSUE AROUND THE DUCTS, ALONG
WITH MINUTE HAIR FOLLICLES IN
THE AREOLA ITSELF ALL CONTRIBUTE
TO THE AREA'S HYPERSENSITIVITY.
WHICH IS A FANCY WAY OF SAYING
YOUR NIPPLES--OUR NIPPLES
WERE DESIGNED FOR PLEASURE.
>> WELL, YOU'VE NEVER WORN A BRA
BEFORE. HEH. THEY HAVE SEEN
THEIR SHARE OF PLEASURE OVER
THE YEARS. IT'LL BE A RELIEF
TO HAVE 'EM GONE.
>> SO YOU'RE REALLY NOT
INTERESTED IN SEX ANYMORE?
>> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT IT ANYMORE, YOU REALIZE
HOW MUCH MORE THERE IS TO LIFE.
>> I THOUGHT BEING A NUDIST
WASN'T ABOUT HAVING SEX
ALL THE TIME.
>> IT'S NOT. I'M TALKING ABOUT
MY LIFE OUTSIDE THE FOLD.
>> REALLY? SO BETWEEN THAT AND
YOUR DATING LIFE, YOU BASICALLY
NEVER HAVE YOUR CLOTHES ON.
>> WELL, IT IS HOW GOD MADE US.
HEH. SOME BETTER THAN
OTHERS, HUH?
>> SORRY TO BE BLUNT, LOLA.
YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE.
>> * AND, LITTLE MAN...
>> YOU GO FOR THE MORE SHALLOW
AND SUPERFICIAL, THEN.
>> MM-HMM.
>> YOU POOR MAN. YOU HAVE
NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE MISSING,
DO YOU?
>> DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT WHAT
YOU'LL BE MISSING?
>> SEXWISE?
>> YEAH.
>> I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S
A BIG MYSTERY ANYMORE. 2 PEOPLE
KISS. TONGUES TOUCH. HANDS RUB
THE SAME PARTS. MAYBE THEY PINCH
AND GRAB. MAYBE THEY SMACK AN
ASS CHEEK OR TWO. SOMEONE GETS
HARD. SOMEONE GETS WET.
YOU TRADE SOME FLUIDS. THEN IT'S
ALL ABOUT THE IN AND THE OUT
AND THE UP AND THE DOWN. SOMEONE
SCREAMS, "OH, BABY, YES,"
OR, "OH, GOD, PLEASE," AND THEN
POOF. IT'S DONE.
>> NOW THAT YOU PUT IT LIKE
THAT, I GUESS I SEE YOUR POINT.
>> TRUST ME. I'M CELIBATE,
AND I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.
>> THAT WAS THE BEST ORGASM
I'VE EVER HAD.
>> LIZ IS GONNA PUT YOU INTO
A TWILIGHT.
>> MMM. THAT SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL.
>> YEAH. AND NO SCARS.
I PROMISE. I'M GOOD AT THAT.
>> HMM. YOU'RE GOOD AT A LOT
OF THINGS. HEH HEH. I'D PUT YOU
IN THE TOP 6 OR 7 PERCENTILE.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
[BAND PLAYING LATIN MUSIC]
>> * FAT MAMA,
COME ON AND DANCE WITH ME,
BOOGALOO,
FAT MAMA,
COME ON AND DANCE WITH ME,
BOOGALOO,
FAT MAMA,
COME ON AND... *
>> JUST SAY IT. I'M A SCUMBAG
PUSSY-CRAZED DOG, AND I SHOULD
BE SHOT.
>> GET OVER YOURSELF.
I'M NOT YOUR PRIEST.
>> THIS WOMAN IS A FORCE OF
NATURE. YOU KNOW THAT? I MEAN,
SHE DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.
>> YEAH. WELL, AS USUAL, YOU GOT
IT WRONG. I AM DELIGHTED.
>> WHAT, THAT I HAD SEX
WITH A FAT CHICK?
>> NO, BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T
GET TO HER.
>> * BOOGALOO,
FAT MAMA... *
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
>> * COME ON AND DANCE
WITH ME... *
>> YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU COULD TAKE
A PAGE OUT OF HER BOOK. SHE IS
LIVING PROOF THAT BEAUTY IS NOT
EVERYTHING. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYIN'? I MEAN, IT'S HOW YOU
FEEL ON THE INSIDE. RIGHT?
>> WAIT. YOU DO SOMETHIN'
SHITTY, AND THEN YOU RUB MY FACE
IN IT? AND BECAUSE I DON'T FALL
APART, YOU GIVE ME A LECTURE
ON WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
YOU'RE AN IDIOT. YOU KNOW THAT.
>> HEH HEH HEH HEH.
SEND THESE TO PATHOLOGY.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I WAS OUT OF LINE.
>> YEAH. WELL, SAVE IT FOR
SOMEONE WHO CARES, THE OTHER
IDIOT, KIMBER. SHE ACTUALLY
BELIEVES THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE
GONNA WALK INTO THE MONOGAMOUS
KEN-AND-BARBIE SUNSET TOGETHER.
GOD BLESS HER.
>> * YEAH, THANK YOU
>> [LAUGHS] OH, MY GOD.
SERIOUSLY? I-I'M GONNA
WET MYSELF. LOOK AT THIS.
HEH. FIBER.
HOODIA.
[BOTTLE FALLS]
APPETITE SUPPRESSANTS.
OH, YEAH. HERE. THIS IS MY
FAVORITE ONE. THIS SUCKS THE FAT
OUT OF THE FOOD AND THEN LEAKS
IT OUT OF YOUR COLON. I HAVE
BEEN KILLING MYSELF TO STAY
A SIZE ZERO WHILE YOU'RE OFF
DISCOVERING YOUR INNER
CHUBBY CHASER.
>> SHE WASN'T ALL THAT FAT.
>> OH, HONEY, I SAW HER.
YOU NEEDED MAPQUEST TO FIND
HER VAGINA, BUT WHAT YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND IS THIS IS GREAT.
LIKE, I'M HAPPY. I CAN FINALLY
JUST RELAX. HEH. I MEAN, NOW I
KNOW WE'RE STILL GONNA BE HAVING
SEX WHEN WE'RE OLD AND FAT.
>> WHERE YOU GOIN'?
>> I'M GONNA GO RAID YOUR
FREEZER, BECAUSE I SWEAR I SAW
SOME CHERRY GARCIA IN THERE,
AND I'VE NEVER HAD IT.
[BRICK HOUSE BY
THE COMMODORES PLAYING]
>> * UNH
* UNH
>> COME ON, BABY. DIVE INTO
YOUR DIVA.
[SINGER WHISTLES]
>> TIMBER. HERE COMES KIMBER.
>> OHH! [GROANS]
>> OHH!
TO THE LEFT.
>> * SHE'S MIGHTY, MIGHTY...
>> THAT'S GOOD.
OHH. I'LL DO IT.
ARE YOU WATCHING?
>> * SHAKE IT DOWN,
SHAKE IT DOWN NOW,
SHAKE IT DOWN,
SHAKE IT DOWN NOW... *
>> WAIT. HOLD--HONEY, WAIT A
SECOND. I GOTTA STOP. I'M SORRY.
JUST STOP HERE FOR A SECOND.
I'M GONNA GET 2 SPOONS AND FUDGE
SAUCE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OK?
>> OK.
>> JUST STAY RIGHT HERE. I'LL BE
RIGHT BACK. I PROMISE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> * BRICK
>> FOUND IT. MMM. MM-HMM. WOW.
THIS IS REALLY GOOD. HERE.
I GOT YOU A SPOON. COME ON.
LET'S GET FAT. MMM.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
>> YOU TWO SEEM VERY
HAPPY TOGETHER.
>> HEH. OF COURSE. HE'S MY
FANTASY COME TRUE.
WOULDN'T YOU BE?
[MR. SANDMAN PLAYING]
>> * BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG,
BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG,
BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG,
BUNG,
BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG,
BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG *
>> 10...
>> MR. SANDMAN *
>> 9...
>> * BRING ME A DREAM
>> * BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG
>> * MAKE HIM THE CUTEST
THAT I'VE EVER SEEN... *
>> HONEY, I'M HOME.
>> DARLING, LET ME GET THAT FOR
YOU. YOU'VE HAD A HARD DAY.
COME IN AND RELAX.
>> MMM. WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
>> AH.
>> * MR. SANDMAN...
>> I MADE YOUR FAVORITE,
ROAST CHICKEN.
>> [SIGHS]
>> * TO CALL MY OWN
>> * BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG
>> * PLEASE TURN ON
YOUR MAGIC BEAM... *
>> LEG OR BREAST TONIGHT, HONEY?
>> HOW 'BOUT BOTH?
>> OH, YOU'RE SO SILLY.
>> HEH.
>> * BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG,
BUNG, BUNG, BUNG, BUNG *
[INSTRUMENTAL MR. SANDMAN
PLAYING]
>> YOU OK?
>> HUH? OH, FINE. JUST TIRED.
>> OH, I UNDERSTAND. LET'S GO
TO BED.
>> NIGHT.
>> YOUR HAND, IT'S SO SOFT.
>> IT'S MY NEW LOTION.
>> HONEY, WHAT IF WE PUSH
THE BEDS TOGETHER TONIGHT?
>> WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
SOMETHING WRONG, SEAN?
>> I WAS TALKING WITH CHRISTIAN
AT THE OFFICE TODAY, AND HE
MENTIONED SOMETHING TO ME ABOUT
BLOW JOBS, AND, WELL, IT SOUNDED
LIKE FUN.
>> YOU MEAN PUTTING YOUR PENIS
IN MY MOUTH? ISN'T THAT SEX?
>> NOT FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND.
I THOUGHT WE SHOULD TRY IT.
>> [SIGHS] OK. AS LONG AS IT'S
NOT SEX.
I GUESS YOU SHOULD PULL DOWN
YOUR PANTS FIRST.
>> WHAT?
>> NO WONDER WE'VE NEVER DONE
THIS BEFORE. LOOK.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
>> ARE YOU OK?
>> I'M FINE.
I HOPE HE'S HAPPY.
SHE'S A PERFECT DOLL NOW.
>> HAVE YOU SEEN MY PATIENT?
>> UH, YEAH. I SAW WAY TOO MUCH.
SHE SAID HER STOMACH
WAS GRUMBLING.
>> OH. JESUS!
>> HEY.
>> YOU'RE GONNA BLIND SOMEONE.
>> DO YOU HAVE A PANINI PRESS?
'CAUSE I WOULD KILL FOR
A GRILLED HAM AND CHEESE.
>> AHH. THIS IS NOT YOUR
PERSONAL FEEDING TROUGH,
AND IT'S NOT ADAM & EVE EITHER.
HERE. PUT THIS ON UNTIL I FIND
YOU A TENT.
>> WELL, I'M S-SORRY. I JUST--
I'M SO USED TO BEING
IN THE BUFF.
>> YEAH, WELL, WE DON'T NEED
TO SEE YOUR FLABBY FLESH
AROUND HERE.
>> OH. I GUESS YOU THOUGHT YOU
WERE DREAMING WHEN WE HUMPED
LIKE BUNNIES IN YOUR EXAM ROOM.
>> BUNNIES? I REMEMBER RIDING
AN ELEPHANT AND GETTING STUCK
IN AN OVERGROWN BUSH.
>> OH. [SCOFFS] WHY WOULD I GIVE
A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK? YOU'RE
JUST A SHALLOW ASSHOLE WHO'S IN
DENIAL OF THE FACT THAT SOMEDAY
YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP AND BE FAT,
SAGGING, AND UGLY.
>> I AM AN ASSHOLE, AND MAYBE
ONE DAY I WILL WAKE UP FAT AND
SAGGY AND UGLY, BUT RIGHT NOW,
I AM EMBRACING BEAUTY. BEAUTY IS
HAPPINESS, BEAUTY IS POWER, AND
BEAUTY IS CONFIDENCE, AND DON'T
TELL ME YOU DON'T AGREE. IT'S
TIME TO GO BACK TO THE WATERING
HOLE, HUNGRY HIPPO. YOU ARE
CHECKIN' OUT. [CLEARS THROAT]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
>> YEAH.
>> YOU GOT A SEC?
>> YEAH. ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST
THINKING ABOUT COMING OVER
TO APOLOGIZE. UM, I WAS--I WAS
HARSH, AND--AND YOU DIDN'T
DESERVE IT, AND I HAD A--HEH.
A REALLY FUN TIME WITH YOU--
>> OK, ENOUGH. I LIKED YOU
BETTER WHEN YOU WERE HONEST.
>> YOU LIKE BEING CALLED
A HIPPO?
>> [SIGHS] IT WAS INTERESTING,
BRACING, AND IT, UH--IT MADE ME
SEE SOMETHING. [SIGHS]
I SCREWED UP.
>> WHY?
>> WELL, HALF THE BATTLE WAS
SELF-ACCEPTANCE, IS ACTING AS IF
YOU FEEL IT EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T.
I'VE BECOME A REALLY GOOD
ACTRESS. [SIGHS] I HAVE ALL THE
RIGHT WORDS AND THE RIGHT MOVES,
AND IT WORKS MOST OF THE TIME.
BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN, I WANNA
CRAWL AWAY AND HIDE. LIKE WHEN
I GET A BAD CRUSH ON A GUY AND
I KNOW I'M NEVER GONNA BE IN
THE RUNNING. THAT'S WHEN I DO
SOMETHING BOLD AND DEFIANT.
>> LIKE WALKING AROUND
THE OFFICE NAKED?
>> YEAH. LOOK, I AM NOT STUPID,
AND I'M NOT BLIND. I'M JUST
A GORGEOUS, SEXY WOMAN WHO'S
TRAPPED IN A FAT BODY. AND I WAS
RAISED TO THINK THAT IT'S A SIN
TO LOVE MYSELF ANY OTHER WAY
BUT THE WAY I AM.
>> PLEASE. YOU'RE NOT GONNA TURN
INTO SOME SELF-HATING PERSON
NOW, ARE YOU?
>> I WANNA KNOW WHAT IT FEELS
LIKE NOT TO PRETEND I DON'T CARE
ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK. I'M
TIRED OF WORKING SO HARD AT THIS
SELF-ACCEPTANCE THING.
SO BE HONEST WITH ME. HEH.
WH-WHAT WILL IT TAKE, LIPO OR
A TUMMY TUCK?
>> BOTH.
>> OK.
>> DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE OUT
OF BED SO SOON.
>> OH. LOOK. I'VE NEVER BEEN
ABLE TO DO THIS BEFORE.
NO MORE GUMDROPS. SMOOTH,
JUST LIKE BARBIE NOW.
>> WANNA HAVE A SEAT ON THE BED?
I'LL CHECK THOSE STITCHES.
>> YOU DID SUCH GREAT WORK.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR SKIP TO SEE
THEM. HE'S GONNA LOVE THEM.
>> YEAH.
>> WHAT'S WRONG? I DIDN'T PULL
A STITCH OR ANYTHING, DID--
>> NO, NO, NO. THE SURGERY'S
FINE. IT'S JUST, UH...
>> WHAT?
>> OH, SPENT MY WHOLE CAREER
TRYING TO MAKE WOMEN'S BREASTS
LOOK MORE ATTRACTIVE, YOUTHFUL
SO THEIR HUSBANDS OR BOYFRIENDS
WILL NOTICE THEM AGAIN, AND HERE
YOU ARE WITH THIS PERFECT
NATURAL SET. YOU'RE HAPPY
BECAUSE I'VE COMPLETELY
DESEXUALIZED YOU.
>> IT'S OK IF YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND. MOST PEOPLE DON'T.
>> BUT I THINK I DO UNDERSTAND,
AND I THINK IT'S VERY SAD.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>> I HAD A MOMENT WHERE
I IMAGINED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE
TO GIVE UP SEX, TO HAVE THAT
KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU
DON'T TOUCH EACH OTHER, AND IT--
>> IT WHAT?
>> IT ISN'T NATURAL. I MEAN,
YOU'RE NOT JUST DENYING THE ACT
OF SEX. YOU'RE DENYING INTIMACY,
PASSION--
>> SKIP AND I ARE INTIMATE.
WE JUST CHOOSE NOT TO BE
PHYSICAL ABOUT IT.
>> BUT HOW CAN YOU CHOOSE
TO GIVE UP THAT FEELING YOU GET
WHEN YOUR SKIN MAKES CONTACT
WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S AND THAT
CHARGE JUST RUNS THROUGH YOUR
WHOLE BODY, LIKE EVERY NERVE
INSIDE YOU JUST CAUGHT FIRE? I
MEAN, THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED IT,
HANDS GRABBING, SMACKING, THAT'S
ABOUT PASSION, FIRE. WHEN YOU'RE
NOT TRYING TO CATCH YOUR BREATH,
YOU ARE TRYING TO INHALE SOMEONE
ELSE'S. AND IT'S COMPLICATED,
IT'S MESSY, AND I SAY EVERY
MINUTE OF PLEASURE IS WORTH
THE PAIN IT MIGHT BRING LATER,
BECAUSE NOTHING ON THIS EARTH
CAN MAKE 2 PEOPLE FEEL
THAT GOOD.
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
>> LIZZIE, WOULD YOU GIVE ME
A BREAK? LOLA CAME TO ME AND
ASKED ME FOR LIPO.
>> YOU REDUCED A STRONG, PROUD
WOMAN INTO A SELF-LOATHING
WALLFLOWER.
>> NO, I DID NOT. ALL I DID
WAS HELP HER OPEN HER EYES--
>> YOU DIDN'T HELP HER OUT,
CHRISTIAN. YOU BROKE HER WILL.
>> I DID NOT.
>> AND WHY? ALL BECAUSE YOU'RE
NOT MAN ENOUGH TO ADMIT THAT YOU
HAD A MIND-BOGGLING ORGASM WITH
A FAT GIRL. AND YOU DISCOVERED
SOMEONE WHO HAS BEAUTY ON THE
INSIDE, AND IT SCARED YOU.
AND WHY? BECAUSE YOU, UNDERNEATH
THAT SHELL, THAT HANDSOME SHELL,
IS NOTHING, AND THE ONLY THING
YOU CAN DO TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL
BETTER IS PULL PEOPLE DOWN INTO
YOUR OWN PERSONAL LITTLE HELL.
>> OK, YOU FEEL BETTER?
>> YEAH, I FEEL BETTER.
>> GOOD.
>> AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
EVEN BETTER YET, I'M NOT DOIN'
THE SURGERY.
>> HI, LIZ.
>> HEY, JACK.
>> LIZ.
>> HI, JAVIER.
>> LIZ.
>> HI. HI, KYLE.
>> LIZZIE'S THROWIN' ANOTHER
FIT. WE NEED TO FIND ANOTHER
REPLACEMENT.
>> WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> NOTHING. IT'S GONNA BE FINE.
DON'T YOU WORRY.
>> LOLA.
>> OH. HEY, GUYS. WHAT ARE YOU
DOIN' HERE?
>> SAVIN' YOUR BEAUTIFUL ASS.
TAKE THAT GOWN OFF, BECAUSE
WE'RE TAKIN' YOU OUT OF HERE.
>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
HERE? YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE.
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
>> ALL RIGHT, YOU PUT
THE SCALPEL DOWN, AND NOBODY
GETS HURT.
>> PFFT. WHAT, YOU'RE
KIDNAPPING HER?
>> PLASTIC SURGERY STEALS
A PERSON'S HUMANITY.
>> LOOK, FELLAS, I--I JUST
WANNA SHED A FEW POUNDS.
>> WE WON'T LET YOU DO THIS.
WE LOVE YOU EXACTLY THE WAY
YOU ARE.
>> HEY, IF YOU WANNA KEEP
IGNORING THE WORLD WE LIVE IN,
BE MY GUEST.
[DROPS SCALPEL]
>> HEH. YEAH. [LAUGHS]
>> THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
US, DOCTOR. WE DON'T LIVE
IN YOUR WORLD. WE LIVE
SOMEPLACE HAPPIER.
[MEN WHISTLING
BABY ELEPHANT WALK]
>> I'M SORRY.
>> ARE YOU SURE THEY NEVER MAKE
ANY MISTAKES ON THESE BIOPSIES?
>> LOOK, IT'S NOT A DEATH
SENTENCE. WE CAN REMOVE
THE TUMOR, GET RID OF ALL
THE TISSUE SURROUNDING IT
SO THAT THE MELANOMA CELLS
ARE GONE. WE CAN DO CHEMO,
FOLLOWED BY RADIATION.
>> WE?
>> YOU CAN BEAT THIS. I DID.
>> CHEMO.
WELL, THAT COULD BE THE BEST
DIET EVER, RIGHT?
I'LL BE A THIN GIRL YET.
MY MOTHER WILL BE SO PROUD.
BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE,
SCARRED AND CANCEROUS
ON THE INSIDE.
>> LOLA, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BEAUTIFUL,
CANCER OR NO CANCER.
[SCOFFS]
[TOILET FLUSHING]
>> [GAGGING]
[VOMITING]
>> YOU'RE PATHETIC.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA
BE HOME SO SOON. YOU WEREN'T
SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT.
>> YEAH. WELL, I DID.
>> I CAN CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF.
>> NO, NO, NO. IT'S FINE. IT'LL
STOP ME FROM STRANGLING YOU.
>> I JUST WANTED TO TRY SOME
OF THE THINGS THAT I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN AFRAID TO EAT.
>> DON'T TELL ME IT'S THE FIRST
TIME YOU'VE SHOVED YOUR FINGERS
DOWN YOUR THROAT.
>> NO, IT'S NOT, BUT IT'S
THE FIRST TIME I'VE HAD
PEPPERONI PIZZA IN--
>> LISTEN, JUST EXPLAIN
SOMETHING TO ME. IS THIS LITTLE
EXPERIMENT OVER OR NOT? OK.
BECAUSE I DON'T DO FAT, AND I
DON'T DO WHATEVER THE HELL IT
WAS I-IN THERE WHEN YOU WERE
THROWIN' UP, ALL RIGHT,
EACH NIGHT I COME HOME.
YOU UNDERSTAND?
>> YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS
IN THERE, I WAS THINKING THAT
I TRULY HATE MYSELF, AND IT'S
THE REASON WHY I ALWAYS GO BACK
TO YOU, CHRISTIAN, IS BECAUSE
YOU HATE ME THE BEST,
AND FOR SOME REASON, IT JUST
FEELS RIGHT.
>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN'
ABOUT? GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
GET SOME MINTS.
>> I HAVE. LOOK AT ME. AHEM.
TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT ME. WHY
ARE YOU WITH ME, CHRISTIAN? YOU
THINK I'M STUPID. YOU THINK I'M
A SLUT. YOU THINK I'M PATHETIC.
IT'S SO CLEAR TO ME NOW.
YOU HATE YOURSELF LIKE I DO,
AND THAT'S WHY YOU ALWAYS
COME BACK TO ME, BECAUSE YOU
THINK I AM ALL YOU DESERVE.
>> YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT
THE STUPID PART. THAT WAS
PRETTY SMART.
NOW GO GET DRESSED.
I NEED SOME DINNER.
>> SO WE'LL PUT THAT ON THE
BOOKS AND SEE YOU NEXT WEEK,
AND, AGAIN, THANK YOU FOR
UNDERSTANDING ABOUT THAT SILLY
LITTLE OFFICE PRANK.
>> YES. WELL, NOW THAT I'VE MET
YOU, I CAN SEE YOU'RE NOT
THE TYPE TO ENGAGE IN THAT SORT
OF THING. BYE.
>> DR. McNAMARA, I NEED TO TALK
TO YOU.
>> SKIP. UH, I'M VERY BUSY RIGHT
NOW. IF YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE
AN APPOINTMENT--
>> TRACY TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED.
>> UM, LET'S STEP INTO
MY OFFICE.
>> I'M NOT UPSET. IN FACT, I'M--
I COULDN'T BE MORE RELIEVED,
AND I WANTED TO THANK YOU.
>> THANK ME?
>> YEAH. IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN
TO ONE OF US SOONER OR LATER,
AND I'M GLAD IT FINALLY DID,
'CAUSE I-IT HELPED ME TO FINALLY
DEAL WITH WHO I REALLY AM.
>> YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT
TO PRETEND THAT YOU'RE
A DOLL ANYMORE?
>> NO. NO, NO, I STILL SEE
MYSELF AS A MODEL OF KEN. NO,
I--I MEANT THAT I CAN FINALLY
ADMIT THAT I'M GAY. JOE, WOULD
YOU LIKE TO MEET THE DOCTOR?
>> NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR.
>> JOE'S BEEN A DON'T ASK,
DON'T TELL MEMBER OF THE ARMY
SINCE '97 AND AN AVID
DOLL ENTHUSIAST LIKE MYSELF.
>> SKIP AND I HAVE KNOWN EACH
OTHER FOR YEARS. ONLY, WE COULD
NEVER ADMIT HOW WE REALLY FELT.
>> NOW THAT WE'RE TOGETHER,
WE'RE GONNA EXPLORE THE NEW
POSTMODERN VERSION OF A REAL
RELATIONSHIP, ONE THAT
MAKES SENSE FOR US.
>> MM-HMM. YOU MEAN, BETWEEN KEN
AND G.I. JOE?
>> SEE? I TOLD YOU HE'D GET IT.
>> DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE HERE
TO HAVE YOUR NIPPLES REMOVED.
>> NO, NO, NO. CALF IMPLANTS.
>> ANATOMICALLY CORRECT IS
OUR MOTTO.
[SOFT JAZZ MR. SANDMAN PLAYING]
>> HERE WE ARE.
>> * MR. SANDMAN...
>> WOW.
NICE PAD.
>> YOU LIKE IT?
>> YOU REALLY LIVE THE LIFE,
HUH?
>> YOU WANT SOMETHIN' TO DRINK?
>> I WOULD LOVE A DRINK.
>> HEY. HI, SEAN.
>> UH, THAT'S KIMBER.
>> LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HAVING FUN.
>> OH, YEAH. SOMEONE BACK
THERE'S GETTING A LITTLE HUNGRY.
>> * AND TELL THE STARS
MY LONELY NIGHTS... *
>> HEY, SEAN.
>> * ARE OVER,
TELL HIM... *
>> TRACY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOIN' HERE?
>> I LOVE YOUR MALIBU BEACH
HOUSE. COULD USE SOME COLOR,
BUT IT'S REALLY QUITE LOVELY.
>> I'M SORRY ABOUT SKIP.
>> HEH. NO, YOU'RE NOT. NEITHER
AM I. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE
I COULDN'T SEE WHO HE REALLY
WAS, EVEN WITH ALL THE PINK
CARDIGANS AND PERFECT HAIR.
>> * BRING ME A DREAM
>> HEH. KIMMY, WON'T ALL THAT
SUGAR MAKE ME FAT?
>> OH, GOD, NO. THIS IS FOR
CHRISTIAN, BUT I'M GONNA GET YOU
SOME ICE CUBES.
>> I DON'T HAVE ANY NIPPLES.
>> WELL, YOU HAVE A LOT TO
LEARN. THE BODY HAS THOUSANDS
OF SENSITIVE SPOTS, AND WE'RE
JUST GONNA HAVE TO WORK TO FIND
YOURS. STRAWBERRIES.
>> COME ON, LADIES. LADIES,
COME ON. GABFEST IS OVER.
SEANY, HOW'S IT HANGIN', BABY?
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, LADIES.
READY TO GET BACK TO BUSINESS?
>> MM-HMM.
>> MMM. KEEP THOSE STRAWBERRIES
CHILLED. [CHUCKLES]
>> WHAT'S TRACY DOING HERE?
>> HEH. I'M SORRY, BUDDY, BUT 2
BARBIES ARE BETTER THAN ONE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE?
>> I'M THE DELIVERY GIRL
FROM LAST WEEK.
>> I LOVE HOOKERS. RIGHT?
YOU CAN PAY 'EM TO BE WHOEVER
YOU WANT 'EM TO BE. HAVE FUN.
LADIES! HA HA HA!
>> WHO DO YOU WANT ME
TO BE, SEAN?
>> [SIGHS]
YOU KNOW, TONIGHT, I THINK YOU
SHOULD JUST BE YOURSELF.
>> MAYBE IT'S YOU WHO WANTS
TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE. I'VE DONE
IT THAT WAY, TOO, BEFORE.
>> OK.
>> GOOD.
>> * MR. SANDMAN,
MR. SANDMAN... *
>> SO, WHO DO YOU WANNA BE?
>> I DON'T KNOW. SOMEONE ELSE.
>> * ...A DREAM