哈喽Alexander 我是Stuart Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart.
你好Stuart Hello, Stuart.
我叫Alexander I'm Alexander,
就是那个正戴着眼镜开车的家伙 the bloke in the glasses driving,
磁带里醉醺醺说话的是Stuart not the mumbly one on the tape. That's Stuart.
我2000年认识Stuart I got to know Stuart in 2000
之后决定帮他写传记 and decided to write his biography.
所有的朋友都认为我疯了 All my friends said it was mad.
这个人只是个无名小卒 I mean, after all this man was unknown,
没有作为毫无名气 但这本书销量还行 he wasn't famous, not a celebrity, but the book turned out okay.
真希望Stuart也能和我一起分享这些 Just wish Stuart could have been here to see it.
由真实故事改编
这可能是第一本为无家可归的人写的传记 I think it was the first ever biography of a homeless man.
从他出生直到今日 From birth to the present day.
曾经我迎着风小便 I've been pissing in the wind
傻兮兮的咧着嘴笑 I chance a foolish grin
口水流到下巴 And dribbled on my chin
现在我脚下正踩着这片土地 And now the ground shifts beneath my feet
斯图尔特 倒带人生
来来往往的人群里没有人认识我 The faces that I greet never know my name
只需要给我一点点 Just give me something
即使我什么都不会拿走 I′ll take nothing
由亚力山大·马斯特斯同名小说改编
只需要给我一点点 Just give me something
即使我什么都不会拿走 I′ll take nothing
冬暖之家
故事开始在2000年 那时我为了挣点零花钱 So, back in 2000 I was earning a bit of extra pocket money
在一家叫冬暖的收容所做筹款人 working as a fundraiser at Wintercomfort,
那是剑桥的一家日间收容所 which is a busy little day shelter in Cambridge,
常常挤满了无家可归的人 normally full of homeless people.
通常都是挤满的 直到那个清晨 Full, that is, until the
那个警察决定突击检查这个地方的清晨 morning that the police decided to raid the place.
他们被捕了 They've been arrested.
所有的吗 All of them?
那太好了 What a good idea.
不不 事实是 Uh, no, no. It was, um,
被捕的只有我的老板Ruth just my boss, Ruth,
还有他的助手John and um, her deputy, John.
收容所的一些人 Some of the clients have
在这里秘密的进行毒品交易 been secretly dealing drugs on the premises
因为Ruth和John是这里的负责人 but because Ruth and John ran the charity,
所以要承担全部责任 they were held responsible.
那些警察有影像资料作证据 They've got evidence, on film.
我被这种不公正深深的激怒了 I was furious at the injustice of it.
然后 人生中第一次 And, uh, then really, for the first time in my life
真切实际开始的关注 I actually began to take a
这些无家可归的人 real and practical interest in the homeless.
滚开 猪头 Fuck off, pisshead!
释放剑桥两人
我要向你们介绍Alexander Masters I'd like to introduce to you Alexander Masters,
一个为游民无私付出的人 a dedicated friend of the homeless himself,
也是我们这次抗议活动的主席 chairman of the campaign.
我们坚信他们是无罪的 Oh, we were convinced they'd never be convicted.
如果牢狱都没有办法阻止毒品蔓延 I mean, if prisons can't control drugs
他们凭什么要求Ruth和John办到 then how could Ruth and John be expected to?
如各位所知 As everyone knows,
今晚我们为了Ruth Wyner和John聚在一起 we're here this evening about Ruth Wyner and John?
Howarth法官判处他们四年和五年的有期徒刑 The judge Howarth sentence they down five years, and four years.
-这是耻辱 -谢谢您的发言 - Shame. - Thank you.
-这是法西斯暴行 -谢谢您的发言 - Fascist. - Thank you.
但是现在是紧要关头 我们要行动起来 But this is the crunch, what are we going to do about it?
想想如何才能把Ruth和John救出来 How is this campaign going to get Ruth and John out?
-请讲 -我们可以送书给他们 - Yes? - We could send them books.
Bunyan的书很适合在监狱里看 Bunyan, he's good for prisons.
约翰·班扬 英国著名作家、布道家
胡说 要这么说 Genet的玫瑰奇迹更好 Hardly. Miracle of the Rose, by Genet, if you must.
让·热内 法国作家 《玫瑰奇迹》小说描写的都是最为忌讳的问题如同性恋和监狱生活等
真是抱歉 这些是没有用的 Excuse me, this isn't gonna work.
寄书给他们 盒子放不下 Sending them books, eh? It won't fit in the box.
-什么意思 -监狱里用来放东西的盒子 - Sorry? - The inmate's belongings.
每个犯人都有一个的 Everyone's got one.
那是谁 Who is that?
不知道 我从来都认不出他们的脸 No idea. They all look the same to me.
他们允许你带块地毯 但是那也塞不进盒子 You're also allowed a piece of carpet what won't fit in your box,
允许你带只虎皮鹦鹉或者金丝雀 and a budgie or, or a canary,
但是很明显 笼子塞不进盒子 and obviously the cage is not going to fit in the box.
Ruth和John会因此被折磨 But, it is Ruth and John what will suffer.
寄书给他们 狱卒会把它们扔掉 All of them books, the screws will just chuck them out
因为它们也塞不进盒子 because they won't fit in your box.
我不是在开玩笑 I'm not being funny, but you should
如果你们要抗议 先把盒子的事弄清楚 really know about boxes if you're gonna have a campaign.
我是个疯子 Me name's Psycho,
但是如果你想的话 可以叫我Stuart but you can call me Stuart, if you like.
-你的住址 -月桂街2号 - Um, what's your address? - Umm... 2 Laurel Lane.
他们帮过我 给我找医生给我衣服 Yeah, they help me: doctors, a couple clothes,
有时候还给有两个布丁的午餐 outreach, sometimes lunch with two puddings.
他们还把它装好 Yeah, they put it all on,
他们两个还有其他工作人员 those two. And the staff.
我没有开玩笑 我很感激他们 I'm not being funny, yeah, but I am really grateful.
前些天还给我做了个头部按摩 The other day I got a really nice head massage.
是吗 真不错 Oh, great.
-要帮忙吗 -是的 嗯 是的 - Can I help? - Yeah, uh, yeah.
这就是我结识Stuart Shorter的全过程 That's how I first met Stuart Shorter.
他是个街头混混 酒鬼 瘾君子 Street brawler, alcoholic, a heroin addict,
反社会的健谈者 sociopathic street raconteur
总是带着他钟爱的小银条 with a fondness for what he called
欢迎来到剑桥
一般人眼中 那就是把小刀 "Littl estrips of silver". Knives, to you and me.
非常感谢你能帮我搬这些 Thank you very much for agreeing to store these.
这没什么 Oh, no problem.
当心脚下 往这边 伙计 Mind the step. Oh, dear. Here you go, mate.
欢迎光临寒舍 Welcome to my humble abode.
月桂街2号 这些是月桂树没错吧 2 Laurel Lane. Well, they are laurels, aren't they?
今天早上 在我吃早餐的时候 I only heard about the meeting this morning
才听说你的集会 when I was picking up my breakfast.
-这是你的地址 -嗯 - Your address? - Mm-hm.
写在这上面真是坏主意 首先 伙计 A bad idea, number one, mate.
什么三教九流的人都会去找你 啧啧 You could get any old riff-raff showing up. Oh, dear, dear.
什么事 Yes?
我把信封填好了 I've addressed some envelopes.
-这什么 -这些可以吧 - Which, uh... - They alright?
糟糕 Horrible.
关于抗议活动 我有个主意 I've had a blinding idea for the campaign.
可以让我们上电视 Yeah, get us on television and all.
也没什么暴力活动 Not even violent,
如果不把绑架算在内的话 if we leave out the kidnapping.
-你想进来吗 -是啊 - Do you want to come in? - Oh, yes please.
外面有点湿 It's a bit wet out there.
真不错 Ooh, that's nice.
-你要多少糖 -有多少要多少 - How many sugars? - As many as you got, mate.
烫 Hot.
这都是你的书 All them books.
你全读过吗 Have you read all of them?
没有 No.
一半呢 Half?
也没有 Not exactly.
捕食的黄蜂 The Hunting Wasp.
整本书都讲那种夏季的小昆虫吗 A whole book about them little summer things.
书名《捕食的黄蜂》
这本呢 这本讲什么 This one. What is this one about?
书名《淡紫色》
讲淡紫色 The colour mauve.
这要怎么讲 How do you fucking get away with this?
关于我的那个主意 Now, this blinding idea.
你有车吗 Have you got a car?
没有 No.
大众和沃尔沃 你更喜欢那种 What do you like better: Volvo or VW?
几周后 And then a few weeks later I had
我打算着手写这本书 于是开始做了点调查 the idea about the book and started doing a little research.
那孩子受了很多苦 你们应该给他写本书 That boy has suffered. He deserves a book.
斯图尔特的奶奶
你们也应该给我写本书 You should write a book about me.
他一直是个贴心的孩子 Always such a caring boy.
无忧无虑的小家伙 Happy-go-lucky little thing.
斯图尔特的妈妈 朱迪丝
总是四处乱跑 上帝保佑他 Legs all over the show, bless him.
三个月后 我们实施了Stuart的计划 Three months after that we carried out Stuart's blinding idea
通过在内政部前过夜来抗议 which was a sleep-over protest in front of the home office
借此来劝说内政大臣Jack Straw to persuade the then Home Secretary,
让他释放Ruth和John Jack Straw, to release Ruth and John.
比起他之前的绑架计划 这个计划好得多 Which was better than his first idea, which was to kidnap him.
不知为何Stuart负责开车 Stuart took care of our transport. Somehow.
在驱车去伦敦的途中 And on the way to London
我把书的前一小部分读给他听 I read him the first few pages of my book idea.
Stuart Clive Shorter曾经是一个 "Stuart Clive Shorter
无忧无虑的小男孩 was a happy-go-lucky little boy,
"他是我最贴心的孩子" 'the most considerate of my children',
回忆起这些的母亲有些惊讶 marvels his mother."
胡说 无聊 Bollocks! Boring!
你干嘛要写这种该死的书 Why do you want to write this fucking book anyway?
为了挣很多很多很多的钱 To make lots and lots and lots of money.
你真觉得写这些能挣钱吗 Seriously? You think you can make money out of it?
可以 或许 Could, maybe.
这种无聊的东西还想挣钱 Something as boring as that?
别这么粗鲁 Don't be so rude. Anyway,
毕竟 你的人生一开始这么无趣不是我的错 it's not my fault that you started out so dull.
你要把它弄得更刺激点 You got make it more exciting.
倒着写吧 Do it backwards.
像写谋杀案一样 像那些畅销书一样 Like a murder mystery. Like a best-seller.
像Tom Clancy那样写 You know, like what Tom Clancy writes.
汤姆·克兰西 美国军事作家 当今世界最畅销的反恐惊悚小说大师
我怎么走到这一步的 Yeah! How'd I get to be like this?
是什么谋杀了那个小男孩时的我 What murdered the little boy I was?
你要在开头留下悬念 Make them nine-to-five sit up.
就像 你把10双袜子放进洗衣机 I mean, you put ten socks
但是只找到来7只 in the washing machine and only seven come out.
然后你就会问 剩下的去哪里了 Where do they go?
-Stuart -我来告诉你接下来会怎么样 - Stuart? - I'll tell you another thing and all?
Stuart Stuart?
你把机器拆开 但是它们不在里面 You take the machine apart and it ain't in it neither.
-Stuart -干什么 - Stuart? - What?
这是什么 -哪里 What's this? - What?
这里 This.
这个啊Alexander 这是虱子 That, Alexander, is a lice.
你长毛的地方都很容易粘到 The main place you get those is around your bollocks.
虱子 很容易繁殖 That lice, that'll grow.
疥虫比这还小 Scabies are smaller and
它们会钻到你的皮肤底下 they go under the skin
扎根在那 吸食你的血液 and live there, literally nibbling.
我们用了5个半小时 It took five and a half hours
完成从剑桥到伦敦这段50英里的路程 for our convoy to do the 50 miles from Cambridge to London.
Stuart的时速从来没有超过30英里 Stuart would never drive above 30 miles an hour.
白金汉宫 Hey, Buckingham Palace.
沃尔瑟姆斯托市政厅
真是一堆狗屎 What a load of bollocks! Huh!
谁需要女王啊 Who needs a queen?
-不不不不不 不是那样 -什么 - Oh, no, no, no, no. No, not like that. - What?
内政部
用这个 铺到底下 懂了吗 给你 Use this, right? Underneath, yeah? Here you are.
这样热量不容易散掉 You lose more heat that way than you do that way.
Ruth和John需要这些 长在后面的眼睛 Ruth and John need these: eyes on the back of their heads!
释放剑桥两人
才能发现警察的埋伏 End police state now!
除了帮助无家可归没有做错任何事的慈善人员 People are being wrongfully imprisoned for working in a charity
正在接受不公正的关押 and doing nothing but trying to help the homeless.
慈善人员因为不公正 Charity workers in prison
正在被关押 滚吧你们 because of a miscarriage of?Oh, fuck off.
慈善人士因为不公正的审判正在被关押 Charity workers in prison because of a miscarriage of justice.
所有人听着 Okay, listen up, everyone!
所有人 听着 所有人静下来 静一静 Okay, everyone! Listen up! Everyone, please. Quiet, please!
所有人 我们需要你们向这边移动 谢谢 Everyone, we need you to move this way, thank you.
等等等等 为什么 这是场非暴力的抗议 Wait a minute, hold on, hold on. Why? This is a peaceful protest.
就是 他妈的为什么 Yeah! Fucking why?
如果你们没有得到政府的许可 You can't cross these brass flags
是不可以越过这片黄铜旗 if the Home Office doesn't want you to.
这他妈是法西斯主义 That's social fucking fascism, that is!
不然的话我们要为你们围上栅栏 And then we must put a fence
确保你们不会越界 in behind you to ensure you're not trespassing
还需要在另一边装上栅栏来保护你们 -什么 and ones on either side to protect you. - What?
路过的群众可能会踩到你们 先生 From the public, sir. They might step on you.
还需要在你们前面装上栅栏 And a fence in front just in case
防止你们睡着后滚到马路上去 during the night you roll onto the road and get run over.
我懂了 你的意思就是把我们装进笼子 Oh, I see. So you mean to cage us in completely.
我们有说笼子 那是您的理解 I didn't say cage, sir, no. That was your word.
犯人真的有薪水吗 Do prisoners really get wages?
是啊 Yeah.
有一般人那么多吗 You mean a lot like normal people?
有 可以发笔财 Yeah, make a fucking fortune.
每周监狱里都会出来千万富翁 Millionaires coming out of the nick every week.
肥猫监狱
你进过很多次监狱吗 You've been in a lot of prisons then?
是啊 真他妈多 Have I? Fucking hell.
多少次 How many?
这个 Well, um...
最开始 Well, start off,
在我还是个小鬼的时候 when I was a nipper
是被送去少年管教所 there was Send Detention Centre,
一家叫Baintnow的管教所 Baintnow House,
然后放回家接着又被送回来 back to Send again,
Eriestoke管教所 Norwich管教所 Eriestoke, Norwich,
我长大之后 就被送去大孩子的监狱 then I grew up and went to big boy prison.
Whitemoor监狱 Whitemoor. Aw,
那可是真正的监狱 now that's what I call a real prison.
那里什么人都有 You got everything there, mate:
恐怖分子 精神病 杀人犯 疯子 terrorist psychosist security-criminal murder mad Crazies
你属于哪一种 Which lot do you belong to?
疯子 我是疯子 Crazies, really. Mm, yeah.
Norwich监狱 之后又是Whitemoor监狱 Norwich, Whitemoor again.
Grendon监狱 Underground监狱 Grendon Underground.
31次 应该没有错 Thirty-one.I don't think I miss any
对了 差点忘了 Oh yes, I have actually!
我去过Leicester监狱3次 I've been to Leicester three times as well.
Wayland监狱是最近去的 Wayland was me last one.
晚上好 好梦 Good night. Sleep well.
多谢 你也一样 Thank you. Same to you.
你 既然你他妈的闲得无聊 Oi, you. Since you got so much fucking time on your hands, yeah,
我来问你 你知道每年有多少人 answer this one: do you know how many people
在监狱里被你们折磨死吗 你们这些杀人犯 get killed by screws in prison every year? Murders.
噢 真是不好意思 长官 Oh, sorry, Gov. Excuse us,
我怎么知道用错误的方法把他对半折 how was we supposed to know that bending him
对他身体不好 in half the wrong fucking way was bad for his health?
他们只是像我一样 It was only people like me
坏透了 烂到骨子里的家伙 what is really rotten, isn't it? Really bad.
我们都毫无希望 Beyond hope. You haven't
你们他妈的什么都不知道 是吧 got the faintest fucking clue, have you? Huh?
他只是来说晚安的 Yeah, all he said was "Good night".
你可以滚了 你们都可以去死了 You can fuck off and all you fucking geeky?
闭嘴Stuart Oh, shut up yourself, Stuart.
Alexander你们都是些下流的中产阶级混蛋 You fucking wanking middle class cunt fuck, Alexander.
你想知道我怎么变成这样的 You want to know how I became what I am?
我他妈就给你答案 I'm giving you fucking answers!
为什么你不写本没有答案的书 Why don't you write a book with no fucking answers, eh?
去写啊 你滚吧 自己去找该死的答案把 Go on, you fuck off. You find your fucking answers.
斯图尔特的妹妹
如果把愤怒从一到十分为十级 On a scale of anger, one to ten,
我大概在第4级 Stuart在第11级 I'm probably on four and Stuart's on eleven.
斯图尔特的爷爷
你不会知道 You never can tell
那个家庭经历了什么样的起起伏伏 how family should be down and up and down and up
就像Stuart的生活一样 just like Stuart, you know?
充满了毒品 牢狱 乞讨 Drugs, prison, being a beggar.
过去 过去 Go on, go on.
喂 老兄 Yeah, mate.
-混蛋 -早上好 - Bastards! - Morning.
味道不错吧 Like the taste of piss, eh?
你们这些混蛋 You bastards.
你闻上去不错 Someone smells nice.
白白准备了3个月 After three months of preparation.
这是谁的主意啊 I mean, who's bloody stupid idea
竟然挑周末来举行抗议 was it that we camp out over the weekend anyway,
这根本就是Straw首相唯一不在的时间段 the one time Mr. Straw's not going to be there?
-这一定是你的主意 -去你的 - I bet it was yours. - Oh, fuck off.
-我喜欢这首歌 -这首歌不错 - Oh, I like this song. - This is a good song.
因为你如此美丽 Because you're gorgeous
我愿为你倾尽一切 I'd do anything for you
因为你如此美丽 Because you're gorgeous
我知道你会让我度过难关 I know you'll get me through
那个周末还是有点收获的 Still, one blimey thing did come out of that weekend:
那就是 Stuart's idea
Stuart关于他的人生应该倒着写的提议 that his life should be written backwards.
我反应过来的时候 它已经切上我的脖子了 It was cutting me throat what done it.
一个啤酒瓶插进我的脖子 我差点挂掉 Put a beer glass into me neck. Just lost it.
有时候你会发现死也是件难事 Sometimes you wouldn't believe how hard it is to fucking die.
为了得到政府的批准 So, you got a council for that,
你就决定演戏自杀 because you tried to kill yourself?
不耍点把戏怎么得的到房子 Works a trick for the old housing points, doesn't it?
就这样 我可是直接冲到了名单第一个 Whoosh! Straight to the top of the list.
但这并没有结束 It's not all gone though.
什么没结束 What's not all gone?
恨意 The hatred.
我可是有很多敌人的 在这里 老兄 I got so many enemies. Up here, mate.
我很怕会有人会因此受伤 Somebody's going to get hurt though, that's what scares me.
这种事什么时候会发生 When's this thing going to happen?
我叫它黑雾 I call it me "Black mists".
它什么时候出现 下周下个月还是马上 Next week? Next month? Next ten seconds?
剑桥市以马忤斯镇
真是可爱的东西 That is lovely bit of workmanship.
真不错 真不错 That's value. That's value.
天啊 应该是这边 Oh my God. This for the series.
买给我儿子的 For my son.
你有儿子啦 You've got a son!?
他和他妈妈住在Glasgow Yeah. In Glasgow with his mum.
没记错的话应该14岁了 Fourteen years of age to mind.
老是往高尔夫球场跑 小家伙 Always out on the golf course, the little 'un.
不错吧 虽然没有月桂街的好 Not bad there, mate. Not better than Laurel Lane.
葡萄酒闻着就不舒服 Wine always smells like sick.
给 喝啤酒吧 Here, have a beer.
你要吃什么 Fancy something to eat?
你为什么想当作家 So why do you want to be a writer, then?
说真的 我不知道 Oh, I don't know, really.
跟遗传病差不多吧 我整个家族都写作 Bit like a disease, all my family's got it.
我不能被落下 是吧 Didn't want to be left out, did I?
我懂你什么意思了 Nah. I know what you mean, mate.
我爸是个贼 Me dad is a thief,
我妈是个酒吧女招待 and, um, me mum's a barmaid.
你日记了用橘色笔标出来的是什么 What's the colour orange highlighter in your diary for?
家庭事务 Family stuff.
黄色笔呢 Yellow?
社交 Social.
你写的那本关于我的书 Now, uh, this book that you're writing about me,
只会写上你的名字吗 is it just to make your name?
还有你的 And yours.
其实关于工作我也有个主意 I've, uh, had an idea for a job, too.
如果有一个没有时间可以浪费的外国商人 For the foreign businessman what doesn't have time to waste,
那么他最想要有什么 what does he need?
一间 在车里的办公室 An office... in a van.
这主意很不错吧 It's lateral thinking, isn't it?
从Stansted下飞机 Gets off the plane at Stansted,
直接奔向我的车 straight into the back of me van.
这里会有他想要的一切 That will have everything:
会速记的漂亮小妞 good-looking bird what can do shorthand,
传真 网络 接满电路车 太棒了 fax, internet, wires all over the fucking gaff. It's brilliant.
番茄酱还是酱油 Red sauce or brown?
随便 我是说番茄酱 Oh, yes please. I mean, uh, red.
-那什么 -对了 楼上的家伙说 - What that's? - Oh yeah, that fella upstairs
要帮我做一张可以折起来靠墙的床 is gonna make me a bed what folds
像邦德那种 up against the wall, like what James Bond has.
-是吗 -是的 - Ooh. - Yeah. It's got to have, um,
但是它一定要用弹簧锁固定在地板上 springs and latches on the
不然就会弹到墙上 floor otherwise it's boing, boing, whoosh!
弹到墙上 Boing, boing, whoosh?
你懂的 You know what I mean,
小妞可不喜欢睡到一半 bird's not going to be too happy if she gets her face
脸被砸到墙上 squeezed up against the plaster, is she?
抱歉啊 Sorry.
这是个好定西 什么地方都可以用 Good stuff, that. You can use it with anything.
看到床右边那里了吗 See that right by the bed?
那里本来有一大滩污渍的 我上周嗑多了 This should be a huge stain where I overdosed there last week.
吐得到处都是 And all the spilled cans and vomit.
用这个可以清扫的干干净净 That cleaned it up really, really well, actually.
但是 倒下去之后你要 你要等大概一周 But you want to, um, you want to leave it,
一周之后再把它扫掉 uh, for about... about a week before you vacuum.
给你 Here you are, mate.
当心 有点烫 Careful, yeah? It's a bit hot.
我好像没有问过你怎么入狱的 I never asked you why you were in prison.
上一次吗 因为一些傻事 The last time? Stupid things.
我哥们Smithy 他是个吹泡泡糖冠军 Me mate, Smithy, well bubblegum chap,
我没骗你 他上了吉尼斯记录的 I'm not being funny, he's in the Guinness Book of Records.
1983年那版 1983 edition, as it goes.
我们就像亲兄弟一样和这个世界对抗 Like brothers fighting the world.
相互尊重信任 共享荣耀 Respect, trust, and honour.
快快快快快 Go, go, go, go, go!
好的 Right.
痛 Ow.
靠 你拿了薄荷糖吗 Oh, fuck. Did you get menthols?
薄荷糖吗 没有 Menthols? Fuck off.
她会杀了我的 She'll fucking kill me.
她让我拿薄荷糖 She asked for menthols.
没事 伏特加也一样 Well, give her the vodka.
她才不要伏特加 她要薄荷糖 She don't want vodka, she wants menthols!
快快快快快 Go, go, go, go, go!
天啊 这也不是薄荷糖 Aw, I don't believe it! These aren't fucking menthols either!
他们只是包装是绿色的 They're just in a green packet.
我竟然拿了10包绿盒香烟 I've got ten packets of green cigarettes.
赶紧的 Hurry up.
25镑60便士 25 quid, 60!?
这些女人 Women! They think they can
她们以为她们可以让你做任何事 boss you about in everything, don't they?
然后有一天 Smithy得到线报 And one day, Smithy got a tip-off.
乡村邮政商店
-20000镑 -就藏在柜台下面 - 20,000 quid? - Just keeps it under the counter.
20英里内没有警察 Not a cop shop in 20 miles.
该死 真他妈不负责 Fucking? That's fucking irresponsible.
不关我们的事 No pride of ownership.
快快快快快 Go, go, go, go, go!
好的 Right.
这件事很滑稽 我们被抓后 Let's just say it was funny because as soon as we was sent down,
Smithy的女人 Smithy's missus moved in
就跟提供线报的那家伙好上了 with the fella what told us about the job.
泡泡糖冠军被捕入狱
判了5年 Five years.
很不合常理 你带了武器吗 Pretty steep sentence. Were you armed?
没有 No.
只带了个铁锹 Only with a crowbar.
Alexander 你要尝尝茶点吗 Hey, Alexander? You wanna stay for tea?
有我最喜欢的点心 罪犯特制咖喱 Me favourite, "Convict curry".
我们在牢里经常做 We used to make it in jail.
好东西 蘑菇 Ooh, mushrooms!
-那么第一次是怎么回事 -什么第一次 - What about the first time, then? - First time what?
作为成人第一次被判刑是因为什么 Well, that you were sentenced as an adult.
我不能 实在不能说起这个 I can't? I can't really talk about that, mate.
是不是 抢邮局之类的 But, I mean, robbing an empty post office is?
偷 对人才用得着抢 对邮局是用偷 Burgle. Rob people, burgle post offices.
我知道 我的意思是那次是不是最严重的犯罪 Yeah, but what I mean is it's hardly a Schedule 1 offence, is it?
当然不是 Of course not.
但是 事情也很严重 是吗 Well, that's serious, isn't it?
那不再是小孩子犯的小罪 It wasn't kiddie fiddling.
我知道那不是 I didn't say that it was.
它不是 It wasn't.
我们周四在讲这件事行吗 We'll talk about it Thursday, yeah?
周四下午 Thursday afternoon.
换个时间再讲好吗 Another time, right?
你要会用面包 用面包把酱汁吸起来 Then you mop with the bread. Mop up your juices.
所以 一般的方法就是打碎玻璃 So, smash the window, break the steering wheel lock
不停地反向转动方向盘来破坏它的锁 by turning the wheel in opposing directions.
对 如果街上人太多就不能用砖头的话 Yeah. And if the street is too public to use a brick...
先用铁丝从车窗滑进去 Slide stick. Remove the metal band
用做成勾状的那边移到车锁的那个杠杆的那里 from a pallet of bricks,
然后抽出来18英寸 reduce to eighteen inches,
移到有凹槽的那边 插进去然后勾起车锁 remove a notch from one side, insert into door panel.
砰 我站在邮局外面 踢碎它的玻璃 Ba-kow! I'm in the post office! Boot in the rubble!
没有必要去入室抢劫一间邮局 No, there's no point in ram-raiding a post office.
-为什么 -你没有听我说吗 - Why not? - Can't you not pay attention?
你没有必要闯进邮局去偷东西 There's no point in ram-raiding a fucking post office.
那里根本没有什么钱 There's never no money in the till, is there?
这些是好多年前的事了 Gone are them days.
我忘了带钱了 I forgot money.
给 Here.
不不不 我去叫出租车 No, no, no, no. I'll get a taxi,
可以顺道在银行取钱 I'll stop at a bank on the way.
不 说真的 拿着 这是我买酒的钱 No, honestly, take it. It's me beer money.
把钱拿走 你这是帮我戒酒 You'll be doing me a favour.
也算帮助社会 You'll be doing society a favour.
你他妈的去买辆车吧 And buy a fucking car.
你他妈的去拿个驾照吧 Get yourself a fucking license.
我差点忘了 Oh, I almost forgot.
给 给你买了这个 Here. Bought you this.
给你的黑雾 Your black mists.
下次它出现的时候 你可以用这个录音 Thought you could talk into it next time you're in one.
你没事吧 You'll be okay?
有什么事的话打我电话 Call if you need any help.
凌晨2点4点 随便什么时候都行 2am, 4am, anytime.
是啊 然后你就可以带架该死的相机过来拍 Yeah, so you can bring a fucking camera?
等等 Oi!
你是个好人 Alexander You're alright, Alexander.
我常常对Stuart说 Often used to say to Stuart,
真希望能帮你一把 "I wish I could just pick you up sometimes,
把你倒过来 turn you upside down and
把你脑子里的所有的坏东西都倒出来 shake all the bad things out of your head,
让你可以过上正常人的生活了 then put you back up the right way again."
对他的那些改变 The change in him.
我们真的没有办法理解 We just couldn't understand it.
非常感谢你们今天的到来 And of course I would like to thank you all for coming here today
感谢你们能来听我讲关于抗议和请愿的事 to hear me talk about the campaign and the petition.
那年春天 我和Stuart Stuart and I gave nine or ten talks together
在伯明翰 伦敦 牛津 about the campaign that spring
还有剑桥周围的村庄 in Burmingham, London, Oxford,
做了大概9到10场演说 and of course villages around Cambridge.
有请Stuart Clive Shorter Mr Stuart Clive Shorter.
我先做解说 I'd speak first, and then
然后Stuart会起身 用他的人生故事 Stuart would get up and knock the audience off its seats
震撼在场的听众 with the story of his life.
一般来说的自杀倾向 A typical suicide attempt,
都来源于一种无法承受的愤恨和对生命的浪费 just an unbearable sense of hatred, waste...
他说 我就是那种你们用来吓唬小孩的人 "I am the nightmare you frighten your children with", he said.
但就是这种人 那两个人也不遗余力的 "The sort of person these two charity workers
来帮助我走出困境 were trying to help to get off your streets."
我们应该 "We should have awarded
给Ruth和John颁发奖章而不是送他们进监狱 Ruth and John medals instead of sending them to prison."
我只是转过去 I just twisted around
把后面口袋里的东西处理掉 and I emptied everything that remained into my right buttock.
事实上 Stuart为抗议活动做了两件事 Stuart did two things for the campaign, really.
其一是帮忙把信折起装进信封 He folded letters
其二是把他的灵魂打开展现给世人 and he exposed his soul.
没事了吧 That alright?
-就这样 如果这样写 -这不是你名字吗 - Exactly. So, if we write? - Oh, this is your name.
这样说 如果我们解决这道题也就解决你了 If we solve the puzzle, do we solve you?
他非常 他非常非常有趣 你明白吗 He's just... He's just very, very interesting, you know?
他向我展现出一个我闻所未闻的世界 He tells me about a world I knew nothing about
我 我的确很喜欢他 and... I... I just like him.
这件事非常不可思议 It's absolutely extraordinary.
他非常清楚地记得他变得精神异常的那天 He knows the exact day that he changed into a sociopath.
还记得具体时间就是那天的下午4到5点 Between 4pm and 5pm. The exact day!
这就像是知道 It's like knowing what was
把博士变成怪物海德的药剂成分一样难以置信 in Dr Jekyll's potion that turned him into Mr Hyde.
《化身博士》书中讲述医生喝了一种试验用的药剂在晚上化身成邪恶的海德先生四处作恶
Stuart的黑雾 那天晚上出现了 This thing, Stuart's black mist, came that night.
似乎 导火线是一场刀子的打斗 Apparently it started by a knife fight.
直到第二天Stuart的母亲打给我 The first I heard about it
我才知道这件事 was a call a day later from his mother.
至少这里这次没有血迹 At least there's no blood.
一般都是有血的 Usually there is blood.
或许清洁工打扫过了 Perhaps the cleaners have been 'round.
只打扫血迹 Just for the blood.
这场抗议给了他很大的帮助 Campaign's helped him a lot, you know.
让他保持清醒 Kept him straight.
他已经很久没有这么开心过了 Ain't been this happy since he was a little boy.
仅给Alexander "Alexander only."
仅给亚历山大
哈喽Alexander 这里是Stuart Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart. You know,
我喝了很多酒 但是... admitting I've had lots to drink and that, but
Stuart被保释后 Stuart had been bailed
案子被移至剑桥地方法院审理 to appear at Cambridge Magistrate's Court.
出于道义支持 我陪他去听审 I went with him for moral support.
她们好像不怎么紧张 They don't look too upset to be here.
她们只有进刑事法庭 Well, wait till they get to Crown Court,
才会有点紧张感 that's when it gets serious.
希望那天赶快到来 Godspeed the day.
不好意思 你快要滑下去了 Excuse me, you're about to fall off?
滚远点 Fuck off.
真不错 一般来说对你这种人 Good lad, just say that to the nasty man with the wig and
只有法官在 一切才会顺利进行 everything will be fine.
有些时候电话等太久 Sometimes it takes so long
你他妈的都忘了要说什么 you forget what your fucking call was.
给 听听这个 我家那个小子 Here, listen to this. It's the little 'un.
如果是我不认识的人 滚远点 If I don't know you, fuck off!
我不在也不想和你讲话 I'm not in and I don't wanna talk to you!
我可不想这样 I didn't think it was like that.
我希望他或许可以去商学院读书 I was thinking maybe he should go to business school.
我现在该怎么办 But now I don't know.
这样可不行 He ain't right.
我必须跟他谈谈 I've had to have words with him
让他知道礼貌的重要性 about the importance of politeness.
他才14岁 He's fourteen.
他现在的状况很让我震惊 It really shocked me, to be honest.
Shorter先生是吗 Mr Shorter?
根据警方的报告 According to police statements
他们到达现场的时候闻到了油烟味 they could smell smoking oil when they arrived on the scene.
我当时在炸薯片 Chip fat.
那天是我哥去世的纪念日 It was the anniversary of my brother's death.
我想把我身体里的魔鬼烧出来 I wanted to burn the devil out of myself.
地方法院认为 The Magistrate's Court decided
Stuart的案子的复杂性让他们无法处理 they couldn't handle the complexities of Stuart's case
所以案子被移送到刑事法庭 so they referred it to the Crown Court.
他们应该羞愧 Disgrace.
惊动了40个警察 还让你被保释 Forty policemen and you still get bailed?
我真不明白为什么你还不满这个体制 Beats me why you hate the system.
我妈妈说这点她也不明白 Well, my mum says she doesn't understand it neither.
那个出庭律师说你意图谋杀 What did the barrister mean
这是怎么回事 when he was talking about "Attempted manslaughter"?
我估计是因为 I reckon I tried to
我想用刀把我邻居的头砍下来 cut my neighbour's head off with a bread knife.
你没怎么做是吧 You didn't. Did you?
是 Yeah.
如果他没有逃走的话 我可能就怎么干了 And if he hadn't have moved, I'd have got him too.
是不是你叫帮你做弹簧床的邻居同性恋 So you called your neighbour who made your boing-boing-whoosh bed
让他才气到失去控制 a poofter and then that's why he lost it?
不 他单方面认为我叫他同性恋 No, he thought that I called him a poofter.
-其实你没有这么干 -没有 - And you did nothing of the sort? - No.
那你干了什么 Then what did you do?
我只是问了他的朋友 他是不是同性恋 I just asked his friend if he was a poofter.
我没有在讲笑话Alexander It's not a joke, Alexander!
好吧 但是 Well, I mean?
我当时是很严肃的 这关系到我的人生 When my bell's up, I'm looking at life!
我忘了我把钥匙放在哪里了 I've lost my keys somewhere.
所以你并没有 So you didn't call your neighbour
叫帮你做弹簧床的邻居同性恋 who made your boing-boing-whoosh bed a poofter.
但是 当你问他朋友时 But what? What did his mate say when you called...
当你问他是不是同性恋时 他朋友怎么回答的 What did his mate say when you asked him if he was a poofter?
他们说他只是因为早泄很困扰 Just... said he suffered from premature ejaculation.
我当时还觉得很感兴趣 Which I thought was quite interesting at the time