孩子们 公元二零一二年的十月 Kids, October of 2012 kicked off
分手季来临了 The Autumn of Breakups.
在跟奎恩分手后 And Barney, having broken his engagement with Quinn,
巴尼蜀黍正试着回到单身生活 was slowly trying to pick himself back up.
欢迎来到十月闪炮节 Welcome to Bangtoberfest!
来件十月闪炮节T恤吧 Have a Bangtoberfest T-shirt!
我又回来了 I'm back!
免费的十月闪炮节T恤 Have a Bangtoberfest T-shirt!
哥又单身了 I'm single again!
真对不住您的眼睛嘞 Sorry about your eye!
我今晚有空哦 I'm available!
十月闪炮节 "Bangtoberfest:
"单纯只为干一炮" This Time It's Really Not Personal."
巴尼 你才结束了一段 Barney, you just went through
非常认真投入的感情 some really big emotional stuff.
你得给自己一段时间去恢复 You need to give yourself some time to heal.
罗宾 我在这个节日的商品上花了七千多大洋 Robin, I spent seven grand on merch.
哥已经在恢复了 This is happening.
嘿 Hey.
嘿 马修 Hey. Hi, Marshall.
那个 两天前 莉莉的爸爸 So, Lily's dad just showed up
不请自来了 two days ago unannounced.
还记得那些我买的 Remember when I bought all those
多到用不完而且可以撑到 Mexican fireworks so I'd never
圣诞节都不用再买礼物了的墨西哥爆竹么 have to buy Christmas presents again?
噢 天啊 房子都被你给炸没了 Oh, God, you blew up the house.
房子被我炸没了 Blew up the house?
没有的事 Oh, no.
压根就不那样 Nothing like that, no.
爆竹只是把车库给炸了 No, the fireworks blew up the garage.
房子是烧没的 The house burned down.
我的妈呀 Holy frijoles,
是布朗尼的味道么 do I smell brownies?
我报道过这件失火新闻 We covered that fire on the news.
我压根没想到那个“跑回炼狱里去救回土豆沙拉的赤裸侠” I had no idea "Naked man runs back into inferno
说的居然是米奇 to rescue potato salad" Was Mickey.
我的时间结束了 换你上岗了 马修 My hour's up. Your turn, Marshall.
噢 不 Oh, no.
小马尔文 你刚便便了么 Baby Marvin, did you just go poo-poo?
太神奇了 Craziest thing.
他就在刚刚这一秒便便了 He just went poo-poo this very second.
你确定么 Are you sure this
这泡屎不是在你的看管下拉的吗 poo-poo didn't happen on your watch
然后你就干等到你时间到了 然后好让我去处理这问题 and you just ran out the clock until it was my problem?
噢 是啊 是啊 就是这样 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, right.
得是怎样的麻麻会让自己宝宝在他自己的便便上 What kind of mother lets her son sit in his own filth
多坐九分四十二秒呢 for an extra nine minutes and 42 seconds?
我盯着你呢 爱尔德林 I got my eye on you, Aldrin.
虽然现在哥被熏得流泪 但我时刻监督着你 It's watering right now, but I got my eye on you.
真不敢相信下周一 我就得回去工作了 I can't believe I have to go
而且到现在我们还找不到保姆 back to work on Monday and we still haven't found a nanny.
既然米奇爷爷在的话 他能不能... Well, if Grandpa Mickey's there, couldn't he just...
开什么玩笑 Are you kidding?
我小时候我爸就从来没照顾过我 My dad was never there for me when I was a kid.
当他在的时候... And when he was...
怎么啦 爸爸 What's wrong, Daddy?
爸爸要选匹小马来改变这悲催的命运呀 真心不好挑 Oh, Daddy can't pick a horse to save his freakin' life.
我只需要一个幸运的数字就够了 All I need is just one lucky number.
对了 你生日是什么时候 Hey, when's your birthday?
今天 Today.
好吧 Well...
我们要找个保姆 我爸绝对干不了这个 We've got to find a nanny, and my dad's definitely not it.
嗯 如果你没法解决保姆问题 Well, um, and this doesn't solve your nanny problem,
你又很需要人看管孩子的话 but if you're in need of a babysitter,
我和尼克可以代劳 Nick and I could do it.
我们是超合拍的情侣 你懂的 We're really clicking as a couple.
呃 如果非要说哪对情侣超合拍的话 Um, if any couple is clicking these days,
那必须是我和维多利亚 it's me and Victoria.
你不会真的认为你和维多利亚 Do you think that you and Victoria
比我和尼克更合拍吧 are clicking more than me and Nick?
你和尼克也算合拍吗 Do you think you and Nick are...
噢 真不容易 Oh, that's precious.
孩子们 当你处在一段新恋情中 Kids, when you're in a new relationship
并且还和你的前任比赛谁更幸福的话 and you're competing with your ex for who's happier,
这个过程真上不了台面 it can get ugly
随你怎么说 我要走了 Anyway, I should get going.
我要去给尼克配一把 I have to go get a key made for Nick.
我公寓的钥匙 For my apartment.
傻眼了吧 Ha-burn.
嘿 也许帮我给维多利亚配钥匙的锁匠 Hey, maybe the locksmith who made the key
能帮上你这个忙呢 I gave to Victoria will give you a deal.
哦 对了 他可能不记得我了 Oh, wait, he won't remember me.
因为那是三周前的事了了 It was three weeks ago.
两只眼都傻了吧 Ha-double burn.
我不在的时候 尼克帮我签了一个包裹 Nick signed for a package when I wasn't there.
维多利亚把卫生巾都放在我家了 Victoria keeps tampons at my apartment.
她大爷的 Damn it!
老爸老妈浪漫史 第八季 第三集
翻译: Abby苏赛赛 Roy CIA-Kevin 草莓 加菲猪 Andie 后期+统筹: Roy 校对: Roy 园丁姐姐
HIMYM字幕组倾情奉献
第二天 马修和莉莉的找保姆行动 The next day, Lily and Marshall's
取得了重大进展 nanny search hit pay dirt.
埃里克森夫妇 Mr. And Mrs. Eriksen,
我保证我会营造一个安全舒适 I promise to create a safe, nurturing environment
充满欢声笑语的有爱氛围 full of learning, laughter and love.
有多有爱呢 So that even when
有爱到即使我们吃了难吃豆 we have to eat lima beans
或者膝盖粘上了粑粑 or we get a boo-boo on our knee,
我们都记得 一切都还那么美好 we know everything will be just fine.
你知道为什么吗 And do you know why?
因为你是天堂派来的天使吗? Because you're an angel sent from heaven?
我好想投进你温暖的怀抱 I want to bury my head in the safety of your bosom.
因为巴克敏斯特太太在这儿 Because Mrs. Buckminster is here.
我们再也不用寻找了 The search is over.
巴克敏斯特太太 告诉我们你想要的薪水 好吗 Mrs. Buckminster, we just need to know your salary.
喔 好呀 Oh, delightful!
我的周薪是... Well, my weekly fee is...
别哭了 别哭了 There, there.
我相信你会找到一个差不多的人的 I'm sure you'll find someone you like just as much.
不 我们找不到了 No, we won't!
没人像你一样 Not like you!
嘿 罗宾 能借一张邮票吗 Hey, Robin, can I borrow a stamp?
哦 不用了 这个婚礼回执上已经有一张了 Oh, wait, this wedding reply card already has one.
你想问为什么 Why, you ask?
我和我家维儿正在给一个婚礼寄回执 Victoria and I are RSVPing to a wedding...
这婚礼六个月后 in Jamaica...
在牙买加举行 six months from now.
三只眼都傻了吧 Ha-triple burn.
哦 Oh.
牙买加 Jamaica.
是啊 Yeah.
是个岛吧 That's an island, right?
那得看你怎么想了 Depends where you're going with this.
在去夏威夷岛的路上 All the way to the island of Hawaii.
你想问为什么是吧 Why, you ask?
好吧 我被邀请 Well, I was invited
去那儿过新年了 to spend New Year's there...
就在昨晚 我见尼克父母的时候 last night when I met Nick's parents.
傻眼傻眼傻死你 Ha-aloha burn.
你是否...呃... Have you, um,
见过维多利亚的父母呀 泰德同学 met Victoria's parents, Ted?
事实上 我没有 As a matter of fact, I haven't.
因为他们去世了 Because they're dead.
真的吗 泰德 Are they, Ted?
他们真的去世了吗 Are they really dead?
没有 No.
你大爷的 Damn it!
"十月闪炮节"就一大杯具 Bangtoberfest is a flop!
我想不出任何一种新的泡妞方式 I can't think of an innovative way to bang chicks
来使我荣耀回归 that properly honors my return to the game.
当然我也试了一些旧的稳妥方案 Sure, I've tried some old reliables.
十张未付停车罚单么 Ten unpaid parking tickets?
我想只有一条路可以让你摆"脱"了 I suppose there is one way I could... "Get you off."
不是这样的 No!
这个神句都用了好几千遍了 I've used that admittedly awesome line a thousand times.
你该更强些啊 巴尼君 You're better than this, Barney!
怎么说呢 现有的证据对你不太有利 Well, the evidence is pretty incriminating, but...
但我有一个办法能让你摆"脱" I suppose there is one way I could "Get you off."
我妹的 我在干嘛 Damn it! What?
十月闪炮节是一种创新 Bangtoberfest is about innovation,
观念上的创新 about ideas.
它曾有着深远的意义 Bangtoberfest used to mean something.
这不是你昨天刚编出来的么 You just made it up yesterday.
问够了没 Enough questions.
我得去好好想想 I need time to think!
保姆找的怎么样了 莉莉 So, how's the nanny search going, Lil?
垃圾 Lousy.
巴克敏斯特太太是如此和蔼可亲 Mrs. Buckminster was a spoonful of sugar.
但目前 我们在"嘿保姆保姆"网站上唯一能雇得起的 But so far, everyone we can afford on this Web site
只有仙女保姆 斯卡利·波平斯了 HeyNannyNanny.com is Scary Poppins.
可莉莉和马修真很需要一位保姆 But Lily and Marshall needed a nanny,
所以他们继续埋头苦寻 so they forged ahead with their search.
这么说 你没做过保姆 So, zero experience as a nanny?
嗯啊 不过我在戒毒期间负责照看小猫 Right. But in rehab, I was in charge of the cats.
也就只死掉了两只嘛 所以我想 And only two died, so I figured...
我有空哟 I'm available.
你如何看待体罚 How do you feel about spanking?
一小时八块钱 你想对我做什么就做什么 For eight bucks an hour, you can do whatever you want to me.
我有空哟 I'm available.
爸 我们知道了 Dad, we know.
我没在跟你讲话 I wasn't talking to you.
最后 他们遇见了朱莉·约格森 Finally, they met Julie Jorgensen.
你是明尼苏达州圣克劳德镇的 You're from St. Cloud, Minnesota?
我也是圣克劳德人 I'm from St. Cloud.
真的 喔 那你肯定知道我爸爸 乔治·约格森 Really? Oh, you must know my dad, George Jorgensen?
当然知道 Of course.
乔治·约格森风琴公司 George Jorgensen's Organs.
去年 我哥哥也加入了公司 Last year, my brother joined the business.
哎呀 谁能想到摩根·约格森也开始造风琴了 Really? Who knew that Morgan Jorgensen would go into organs?
这样的话 我问你朱莉 Anyway, Julie...
你爸爸那儿还叫乔治·约格森风琴公司 Is it still called George Jorgensen's Organs
还是把名字改成乔治·约格森和儿子风琴公司 or did they change it to George Jorgensen and Son Organs?
他们把名字改成乔治和摩根·约格森风琴公司 They changed it to George and Morgan Jorgensen's Organs.
猜猜那是谁的主意 Guess whose idea that was?
-摩根的呗*2 -Morgan's. -Morgan's.
他们刚在州外开了一家新店 They just opened a new shop out of state.
-嗯 在哪儿 -俄勒冈州 -Oh, yeah? Where? -Oregon.
那家店叫什么名字 What's that one called?
钢琴城 Piano Town.
你看 你有工作经验 Well, you have experience,
而且我敢说我老公很乐意请你工作 and I think it's safe to say you have my husband's approval.
你要多少薪水 What's your salary?
喔 就在这儿 Oh, um, it's right there.
朱莉 我们很乐意请你给我们的孩子当保姆 Julie, we would love for you to be our nanny.
好啊 多谢 Oh, thank you so much.
呃 我今天还有一个面试 Um, I just have one last interview today,
说真的 我觉得我可能遇不到 but to be honest,I can't imagine
比你们更好的人了 liking anyone more than I like you guys.
喔 Oh...
好滴 拜拜 Okay, bye.
拜拜 Bye.
太好啦 Yay.
切 丫就一贱货 Well, she was a total bitch.
那天晚上 莉莉和马修给朱莉打电话 That night, Lily and Marshall called Julie
希望她能接受这份工作 hoping she'd accept the job.
十分抱歉 我不能做了 I'm so sorry, I can't.
别说你又另找到一份保姆工作 Don't tell us you took the other job.
不 我没有 我没有做保姆 No, I didn't. I'm not taking any nanny job.
我不明白 I don't understand.
在跟你们面试之后 The most amazing thing happened
发生了一件超棒的事 at my next interview after you guys.
我爱上了一位单身父亲 I fell in love with a single dad
而他是个亿万富翁 who turns out to be a billionaire.
明天 我们就要坐他的私人飞机飞巴黎 Tomorrow, we're heading off to Paris in his private jet.
就像他说的，这一切即将成为传--静候 It's gonna be, as he would say, legend-- wait for it...
巴尼 Barney!
要-不 说我的 实-真 名-姓 Ix-nay on the eal-ray ame-nay.
埃里克森夫妇 Mr. and Mrs. Eriksen?
你个... You son of a...
球儿-混 itch-bay!
你看 不知道为啥 巴尼是我们的朋友 Look, Barney's our friend, for some reason,
告诉你 他说的一切都是谎话 and everything he told you was a lie.
可好消息是 But the good news is
你还可以来给我们工作嘛 you're free to come work for us.
抱歉 我绝不会给和那个怪物 I'm sorry, I can't nanny for anyone
是朋友的人做保姆 who's friends with this monster.
你看 我还想跟你们坐下来喝点咖啡 Look, I'd offer you guys coffee,
但十五分钟后 but I have another nanny interview
还有另一个保姆过来面试 所以 in about 15 minutes, so...
就一个问题 巴尼 你为嘛要面试保姆 Barney, quick question: why are you interviewing nannies?
多亏你问了 Glad you asked!
你们几个总是逼着我想出 You guys were all pressuring me to think of
一种革命性方式来庆祝十月闪炮节 a revolutionary new way to get chicks for Bangtoberfest.
说真的 我那时真没头绪 And frankly, I was stumped.
直到... Until...
但目前 我们在"嘿保姆保姆"网站上唯一能雇得起的 So far, everyone we can afford on this Web site
只有仙女保姆斯卡利·波平斯了 HeyNannyNanny.com is Scary Poppins.
突然灵光乍现 And there it was.
天上的老大哥回应了我的祈祷 The Big Bro in the sky had answered my prayers.
万能的上帝之击掌 Almighty-five.
嗷 Ow.
我给你们介绍下小宝宝埃德加 I'd introduce you to little Baby Edgar,
有一点 他还在睡觉呢 but one, he's napping,
还有一点 他根本就不存在 and two, he doesn't exist.
那些保姆们还真相信你了 And these nannies are really falling for this?
也是啊 这些玩具根本就不是婴儿玩的 Yeah, these toys don't even make sense for a baby.
这儿是把气枪 那是我小时候曾经玩过的 You've got an air rifle, you got the exact race track
双环四驱车赛道 哇 with the double loopty-loop I had as a kid!
我能拆开吗 我能拆开吗 我能拆开吗 Oh, can I open it, can I open it, can I open it?
那埃德加的妈妈去哪儿了 What about Baby Edgar's mom?
噢 那可是个令人伤心的故事 Oh, that's a sad story.
但到最后 验尸官的报告证实了 And in the end, the coroner's report confirmed
我所害怕的一点 what I already feared:
女性的身体不能承受那么多连续的高潮 the female body cannot withstand that many consecutive orgasms.
我一直都在责备我自己 I blame myself.
好吧 谁有6节9伏的电池 Okay, does anybody have six nine-volt batteries?
每次我得到这些保姆的同情 Once I got the nannies all sympathetic,
我就要查查她的资历 I had to check their qualifications.
我想看看你怎么处理婴儿洗澡的问题 I'd like to see how you handle bath time.
跟着我来浴缸吧 Follow me to the tub.
我应该带着孩子过来吗 Should I get the baby?
不 No.
我就是想把这些电池 I'm just gonna take the batteries
从烟雾报警器里拿出来 行吗 好的 out of these smoke detectors. Cool? Cool.
每次我面试完 我就要使出杀手锏 Once the interview was over, I went in for the kill.
你很适合这份工作 You're perfect for the job.
所以 恭喜你 你被雇... So, congratulations, you're hi...
不 No.
我不能这么做 I can't do this.
我觉得你很吸引人 I find you very attractive,
我这么做不是很合适 and it wouldn't be appropriate.
我这么做不是很合适 It wouldn't be appropriate.
我是说 我这么做不是很合适 I repeat-- it would not be appropriate.
就像是从一个虚构出来的小孩那儿抢糖吃一样 It was like taking candy from an imaginary baby!
巴尼 有五个月都没人帮我了 Barney, I just went five months with no help,
在遇到我们喜欢的那个妞之前 我们还面试了92个保姆 and interviewed 92 nannies before finding one we liked,
你在我得回去工作的前一晚 and you ruined everything
把一切都毁了 the night before I'm supposed to go back to work?
真心谢谢你 你是我见过的 Thank you for being the most immature person
最不成熟的人 I have ever met.
马修 我们走 Marshall, let's go.
再玩五分钟 Five more minutes!
现在就走 Now.
我很快就回来 I'll be right back. Okay.
我会想你的 I'll miss you.
哦 Oh! Oh!
太作了吧 Overcompensating a bit?
我哪里做作了啊 Why would I need to overcompensate?
我... I am...
在这段完美的恋情中是非常幸福的 ...deliriously happy in my perfect relationship.
那我在两分钟前看到的怎么说 What about what I just witnessed not two minutes ago?
巨人队怎么能以3:1给超了 How can the Giants pass on third and one?!
亲爱的 没事的 Honey, it's okay.
这才第一节 布朗队才拿了3分 It's the first quarter, and the Browns are only up by three...
罗宾 我不是想让你去解决问题 Robin, I don't want you to fix this.
我只是想要被倾听 I just want to feel heard.
首先 巨人队很聪明地 First of all, the Giants were smart
没有通过我的道格庞德的防守 not to run on my Dawg Pound defense.
-他们糟透了 泰德 -我知道 They suck, Ted. I know.
第二 And two--
你不可能喜欢和那家伙在一起 there is no way that you like being with a guy
他太感性又太缺爱 who's so emotional and needy.
你想挑事是吧 莫斯比 You want to dance, Mosby?
我们来说说昨天吧 Let's talk about yesterday.
嗨 你们好 对不起我回来太晚了 Hi! You guys, I'm so sorry I'm so late.
我会在5分钟之内 跑上楼 换衣服 I'm gonna run upstairs, change, I'll be back
然后回来 in five minutes.
慢慢来 亲爱的 Take your time, sweetie.
维多利亚是个邋遢鬼 Victoria's a slob!
嗯 至少我没有和娘炮约会啊 Well, at least I'm not dating a girl.
你知道我什么意思 You know what I mean.
嘿 你知道吗 Hey, you know what?
我真的很喜欢他是这么的 I-I really appreciate how sensitive
细心和感性 还有他的... and in touch he is with his...
天啊 我这不是搞笑么 God, who am I kidding?
我赌20刀 他在女厕所哭呢 20 bucks says he is crying in the ladies' room right now.
嗯 至少当他哭完 他还会冲一下厕所 Well, at least when he's finished, he's gonna flush.
正当莉莉准备在在返工的第一天 So, just as Lily was about to call in sick
打电话请病假的时候 on her first day back to work...
早上好 Good morning!
巴克敏斯特太太 抱抱我 什么都好说 Mrs. Buckminster, hold me and make everything okay!
我的意思是 额 你来干嘛 I mean, uh... what are you doing here?
一个叫斯丁森的先生给中介打电话给了我薪水 A Mr. Stinson called the agency and offered to pay my salary.
哇噢 真的 Wow. Really?
他这行为很不错 但我还是很生气 It's a nice gesture, but I'm still pissed.
他还让我捎来一份这个东西 He also sent along this.
电池呢 Are the batteries...?
电池早装上咯 亲 Yes, the batteries are included, dear.
太好了 Yes!
现在 你们俩 追求事业去吧 Now, off to work, you two.
小马尔文先生和我还要熟悉一下 Mr. Marvin and I are going to get acquainted.
好 Great.
我等不及把他放到你手里了 I can't wait to hand him off
然后 终于能解放了 and-and finally get some freedom.
你确实该解放了 来 递过来 You deserve it. Now hand him over.
递过去 好的 Hand him over, yup.
我这就把小马尔文从你手里接走 I'll just take little Marvin off your hands then.
从我手里接走 Take him off my hands.
来吧 There he goes.
准备好要接他了哟 Ready to receive him!
我不能把小马尔文送到一个陌生人手里 I can't give Marvin to a stranger!
好吧 没在比赛的人 Okay, somebody who's not in the middle of a race
得去和她谈谈 should probably go talk to her.
对不起 巴克敏斯特太太 I'm sorry Mrs. Buckminster
我们决定以后不找保姆了 we've decided we're not going to use a nanny afterall.
你被解雇了 You're fired.
淡定 Calm down.
莉莉 你只是因为要和小马尔文 Lily, you're just nervous about spending
分开一天而紧张 your first day away from Marvin.
这很正常 That's perfectly normal.
噢 我要永远抱着你 Oh, I am holding on to you forever.
哪怕我死了 变成骷髅了 And when I die and I become a skeleton
我依然会抱着你 么么 I'll still be holding you. Yes.
昨晚 尼克因为我杀死了一只蜘蛛 哭了 Last night, Nick cried when I killed a spider.
你应该把那只蜘蛛带到我家 You should have brought that spider over to my house
这样可以喂我家的那群 to feast on the ant colony
被维多利亚没洗的盘子招来的蚂蚁 breeding on Victoria's unwashed dishes.
哇 Whoa!
巴尼 怎么了 Barney, what happened to you?
简直是梦魇啊 It was a nightmare.
我沿着街走 想着自己的事情 I'm walking down the street, minding my own business,
然后我看到一个我验过的保姆 and I see one of the nannies
然后我在想 that I interviewed, and I'm thinking,
也许我可以让她到垃圾箱后面 "Maybe I can get her behind a Dumpster
然后再验一次 and interview her again."
但是 But then...
然后 And then...
她们到处都是 They were everywhere.
我被包围了 I was surrounded!
-嘿 -嗨 Hey. Hi.
你丫 Did you
真的以为你能逃的了吗 really think you could get away with this?
事实上 我觉得能 As a matter of fact, I did, yeah.
好好歇一会儿吧你 Time for your nap!
醒来时我在一个垃圾站 I woke up in a Dumpster
被一堆尿布盖着 covered in diapers.
我还从一个“不可说”的地方 And I found a pacifier
找到了一枚奶嘴 somewhere I'm not willing to discuss.
我到底怎么了 What is wrong with me?!
你还没从奎恩那儿缓过来 You're still getting over Quinn.
你不能一头扎回单身巴尼模式 You can't just dive right back into single Barney mode.
但是我停不下来 But I can't stop myself!
我控制不了自己了 I'm out of control!
不 才不呢 我好着呢 No, I'm not. I'm fine!
现在 Now,
我要先离开一下 if you'll excuse me,
吧台旁那个金发妞看来松得和我的大牙一样好“拔” that blonde at the bar looks as loose as my rear molars.
快阻止我 别阻止我 我挺好的 救命 Stop me! Don't stop me! I'm fine. Help!
单身最棒了 Being single's great!
你知道吗 维多利亚乱糟糟的习惯 You know, Victoria's messiness
迫使我成为了一个爱干净的人 just forces me to grow as a cleaner.
完全正确 如果没有尼克 Totally. And without Nick,
谁帮我缝裤边 who's gonna hem my pants?
敬可持续发展的爱情 To making these relationships last.
这两段感情在这个月内都玩儿完了 Both relationships would implode within the month.
嘿 亲爱的 Hey, sweetie.
嘿 你们两个都累晕了吗 Hey. Did you guys conk out?
我想是的 Yeah, I guess we did.
几点了 What time is it?
五点 5:00.
哇 我们睡了一整天了呢 Wow. We slept all day!
问个问题啊 Quick question. Um,
马尔文在哪里 where's Marvin?
这里啊 Right here.
嘿 伙计们 一惊一乍的做什么 Hey, gang. What's the big whoop?
马尔文 Marvin!
老爸 发生什么事了 Dad, what happened?
呃 我早上跑完步回来 Well, when I came back this morning from my jog,
马修已经走了 Marshall was gone,
保姆“爱谁谁”太太也没在 and I couldn't find Mrs. What's-her-face.
然后我发现你们俩睡得跟死猪似的 我就来搭把手 And you two were sawing logs, so I figured I'd lend a hand.
那 为啥我醒来的时候 Then, why did I wake up
怀里抱了个猴子 holding a monkey?
这个 没过多久我有点小饿然后就 Well, a little later, I got kind of hungry.
而后我给他洗了个澡 涂上护臀膏 So I gave him a bath, and put his diaper rash ointment on,
喂了他豌豆泥 没喂香蕉 and fed him strained peas, not bananas,
因为他昨天才吃了的 'cause he had bananas yesterday,
我还把衣服洗了 and I did the laundry,
干掉了我的卷饼 finished my burrito,
安顿他睡了个午觉 put him down for his nap at noon,
把瓶子消了毒 然后我们刚刚从公园回来 sterilized the bottles, and then we just went to the park.
以上 Okay.
哇塞 这不科学 Wow. That's incredible.
你什么时候起这么会带小孩的 When did you get so good with kids?
我得告诉你一些你早已淡忘的事情 宝贝 You know something, honey, you don't remember this,
在你人生最初的几年里 but, um, for the first few years of your life,
你的妈妈在工作 所以我就成了家里蹲奶爸 your mom worked, and I was a stay-at-home dad.
我以为是爷爷奶奶来照顾我的 I thought Grandma and Grandpa took care of me.
是啊 他们是经常来看你 Well, they visited a lot,
但是一手把你拉扯大的 还是我 but I was the guy who took care of you.
听着 也许全美国人都认为 You know, America thinks
我冲进火海就为了拿盘土豆沙拉 I ran into that burning house to get potato salad,
但实际上 我冲进火海 为的是抢救这本相册 but I actually ran in to get this photo album.
当然 还顺带拿了土豆沙拉 And potato salad. Sure.
爸 我之前就没发现你一直 Dad, I never realized you were...
在我身边 there for me.
那为什么在我上学前班之后就没照片了呢 How come there are no pictures of me after I go to preschool?
这个 Well...
唔 就这样吧 Oh. Okay, well,
祝你在学前班的第一天愉快 小公主 have fun on your first day of preschool, Princess.
好了 你去吧 Okay. Off you go.
走了啊 There you go.
哦 不 Ugh!
没她在身边 我怎么熬得到三点啊 How am I gonna make it to 3:00 without her?
贝尔蒙特赛马场 唔 "Belmont Race Track?" Hmm.
小赌怡情啊 I guess it couldn't hurt to go just once.
六个月后 Six months later,
猜猜看哪个赌鬼的手指得用钢钉接起来哟 guess what gambling addict's thumbs had metal pins in them?
正是在下 This guy.
听我说 亲爱的 我是个混蛋 Look, honey, I was a jerk
你童年的大部分时间我都没照顾好你 who wasn't there for most of your childhood,
为此我每天都感到后悔 and I regret that every single day of my life.
但我保证 But I promise you,
现在开始我会照顾好马尔文 I'm here now for Marvin...
如果你愿意的话 if you want.
你被录用了 You're hired.
我仰望着你 I look up to you
你却没有看低我 You don't look down on me
你眼中的我是怎样的 What do you see in me?
是不是如海洋般深邃 Is it oceans of blue?
你如何能用无数种方式 How do you make the colors say
让颜色开口述说 In a thousand crazy ways
就在最后 That in the end
一切基本就绪 Most things will be okay...
十张罚单 对吧 Ten parking tickets, huh?
我想只有一条路可以让你 呃 I suppose there is a way I could, uh...
摆“脱”了 "Get you off."
经典永不褪色啊 Why did I ever doubt a classic?
打住 打住 打住 Now, now, now.
你雇我来就是为了制止类似行为的 This is exactly the sort of behavior
斯丁森先生 you hired me to put an end to, Mr. Stinson.
请圆润地离开 亲爱的 Off with you, dear.
不要犯傻了 Go make better decisions!
你是对的 You're right.
谢了 巴克敏斯特太太 Thanks, Mrs. Buckminster.
不客气 You're welcome.
我为你改变自己做出的努力感到骄傲 And I'm proud of you for trying to change.
你对这些年轻姑娘们做的事情 What you're doing with these young women
太不合适了 is simply not appropriate.
下不为例 That can never happen again.
哦 省省吧 五次之前你就这么说了 Oh, pish-posh. You said that five times ago.
HIMYM字幕组 谢谢观看