我们一般不这样做的 That's not how we do this in the hood, you know.
快上来啊 [man #1] All right, now, come up here.
选择性忽视“禁止通行”的警示牌 Always ignoring the no trespassing signs.
你说什么啊 我们都没看见好吗 What are you talking about? We didn't even see it.
惊险啊 [Zack] It's scary, man.
我觉的我要死了 Uh, I think... I think I'm gonna die.
- 还有六层 - 你是认真的吗 - You got like six more. -[Zack] Are you fucking serious?
还有很长的路要走呢 我们还没到一半 We have a long way to go. We're not even halfway.
好吧 继续 我们继续爬 快点 Kyle OK, let's do it. Let's go up. We're already going up. Come on, Kyle.
不行 我不爬了 往下走吧 [Zack] No, I'm not going up. We're going down.
你想我推你上去吗 [man #2] Do you want me to come and push you?
我们往下走吧 We're going right back down.
别啊 我刚有勇气往上爬 Come on, I... I just got the courage to do this.
我们往下走吧 We're going down.
- 我跟他讲了 我退出 - 好吧 - I already told him. I'm bailing out. -OK.
- 好吧 我... - 我想上去 - Good, I'm... -I wanna go,
- 但他太害怕了 - 我和你一起下去 我不想死 - But he's so scared. -I'm with you. I don't wanna die.
整个社会都在给你灌输 [Zack] Your whole life society tell you, like,
“像个男人 要坚强” "Oh, be a man, and you're strong,
“像个汉子 喝玛格丽塔酒的都是基佬” 你知道的 and you're tough, and margaritas are gay," you know, like...
我们不是按自身意愿成长的 You know, you don't grow up thinking that's the way you are.
当你是个孩子的时候 放肆的做自己 When you are a kid, you just do, you just act
然后在这个过程中某一时刻 把自己弄丢了 and then somewhere along the line, everyone loses that.
滑板少年
我真的想收拾好的 我饿极了 It's... I really wanted to clean up. I'm freaking hungry.
我基本上总是一个人呆在这里 [Keire] I spend, like, the majority of my time here alone.
你为什么这么想呢 [Bing] Why do you think that is?
因为我... [Keire] It's... It's me, because I...
我总是觉得自己很难融入家庭 I always felt like I didn't fit in with my family.
他们不明白为什么我一开始就逃离 It seems like they don't understand why I escaped already in the first place.
别在我家开火 -[gunshot] -[Zack] Oh, do not shoot that in my house.
这就是我们不能去别的地方的原因 See this is why we are not allowed to go anywhere.
就只能在这 Is this, right here.
哦 滚开 [man] Oh, fuck off!
背靠着树 会安全 有掩护 If you go... If you go behind a tree, you're... you're OK. You got cover.
你要拍我抽大麻吗 Are you gonna put me smoking weed, in that thing?
也许吧 我没想过 就只是拍 [Bing] Maybe. I don't think just to do it.
我给了你很大自由 我是说... I've given you free range, I mean, I...
我没有限制 I've no stipulation.
我总是想逃避生活 逃避我所在的地方 [Zack] I've always needed more out of life, more out of where I was.
我的父母家教很严 You know, my parents ran this very controlling house
所以我经常逃跑 and so, I ran away a lot.
16岁的时候 我就彻底不和父母一起住了 When I was like 16, I was no longer living with my parents, like, at all.
我就是想逃离 I just wanted to fucking escape.
耶 [man] Yeah!
[Zack 15岁]
准备好做高难度动作了 第一遍 Ready for some fucking intense action. Take one.
不会吧 No!
为什么你什么都拍
因为我想制作蒙太奇[电影]
[刘冰 17岁]
刘冰 我看到机器在跟着我动 我知道 I can see that thing there moving around, Bing, I know you're playing
你在跟拍我 with my face or something.
Zack 过来看 他要摔碎它了 [Bing] Zack over here, he's going to crash.
来啊 兄弟 来啊 [Bing] Come, buddy, come...
哦 天 [man laughing] Oh, my...
糟糕 警察 [Zack] Oh, shit, there's a cop.
不要动 -[screaming] -Hey, no, don't.
没事的 No, it' fine.
我的天哪 我的天哪 -[laughing] Oh, my God! -Oh, my God! Oh!
什么鬼 -[screaming] -What the fuck?
老兄 我在流血 Dude, I'm like bleeding. It's like in it.
你认识Keire多久了 [Bing] How long have you known Keire?
[Keire 11岁] 我想说 我认识Keire的时候 他才11岁 [Zack] Man, I want to say, when I met Keire, he was like 11.
[Keire 11岁] 他坐巴士去公园 He'd... He'd ride the bus to the park.
然后会在公园玩很久 And then, he'd pretty much be stuck at the park.
他会向别人要钱 凑回家的巴士钱 He'd have to ask everyone for money so he could get enough for the bus home.
好吧 我记得我第一次见到他的情形 [Keire] Well, I remember the first time I met him,
我站在自行车中转站 I was standing where the bikers transfer.
有个老兄打我 用钉子刺我肋骨 And this dude hit me, like, right in the rib with his pegs.
我记得Zack 他就冲那个孩子吼 And I remember Zack, and he just started screaming at this kid,
“我他妈打死你 什么什么之类的” "I'm gonna fucking beat your ass, like, blah, blah, blah..."
我就想 我也要成为那样的人 So, I was like, I wanna be like that guy.
哦 吼 吼 Oh, ho, ho!
你觉得我怎么样 我们一起长大 [Bing] What did you think of me, we were growing up
还一再在拍摄我们 and I was filming all of us?
我觉得很酷啊 你能吧所有这些不同的时刻 [Zack] I thought, it was cool, how you can put all these different moments
放到一个长的视频里 像是最好的时光 into, like, one long video and just make it seem, like, the best time ever.
哦 天哪 别 原来你一直都在拍 Oh, God, no! You've been filming the whole time?
我还以为你只是照张相呢 I thought you were like, taking a picture.
她就这么过去了 一点儿也不在意 She... She just drove by and didn't even care!
- 哦天哪 成功了 - 泥马 成功了 - [Keire] Oh, God! Yes! -[Zack] Fuck, yeah!
喔 Whoo!
滑板比我家人更像家人 [Zack] Skateboarding is more of a family than my family.
我们成了家人 互相照顾 We formed a family together, like to look out for each other
没有别的人照顾我们 because no one else was looking out for us.
我才不跳进去呢 No, I'm not jumping in.
我是黑人 不会游泳
只要三尺深 我就会“哦糟糕 我要淹死了” It could be three feet only, but, "Oh, shit! I'm drowning."
不要在家里吸大麻了 No more smoking weed in the house.
- 好的 - 也不准在家里 - [Keire] Good. -There's no more smoking cigarettes
- 吸烟 - 好的 - In the house, either. -[Keire] Good.
之前我还想着突破一下自己 Which I tried to break myself up a while ago but...
但是门廊里都是垃圾 There's so much trash on my porch,
我才不想去那里吸烟 I'm like, I just can't go back out there and smoke.
[Nina Zack的女朋友]
- 我不知道 我觉得... - 那里都是些箱子 - I don't know. I guess, like... -There's just a bunch of boxes...
- 和婴儿用品 - 都是箱子 婴儿用品 - And baby stuff. -It's boxes. It's baby shit.
你知道婴儿用品多难组装吗 You know how hard baby shit is put together?
你知道有多荒谬吗 Do you know how ridiculous this shit is?
说明书上应该有五种语言 And there's like, they are five different language
但是没有英文 on the instructions, but not English.
我就想“我为什么要买这些 我不明白” And I'm like, "Why couldn't I have just bought this, I don't understand.
“我为什么要买呢 还要组装它” Why I had to buy a box and put it together."
毫无道理 It doesn't make any fucking sense.
我不敢相信 [Zack] I can't believe that.
她要生小孩了 She's just gonna have the baby.
然后我就像 “好吧 我有孩子 要回家了” And I'm there, just gonna be like, "OK, here's the baby, go home."
我觉得 在人生路上 I feel like, somewhere along the line,
应该有一门我应该学习的 there should be like a class for this or something,
的课程或者教训 我完蛋了 that I should have taken, that I'm fucked up.
我觉得生活过得太快了 [Keire] I feel like life might be moving too fast.
我们长大成人 而滋味并不好受 We have to fully grow up and it's gonna fucking suck.
你怎么做到的 哦天哪 -How'd you do it? Oh, my God! -[Screaming]
哦 我的啤酒 天哪 Oh, my beer! Oh, God!
洒了你一身 It's all over you.
- 耶 - 操 - Yeah! -Oh, shit!
如果有人戳了Keire的眼睛 If somebody poked Keire in the eye,
- 我会被吓傻的 - 戳我的眼睛？ - I would freak the fuck out! -Poke me in the eye?
哦 你不戳黑鬼的眼睛吗 [man] Oh, you don't poke nigga's in the eye?
你说“黑鬼”有人会冲你发火的 That guy would be mad at you for saying "nigga".
操他的 他戳你的眼睛 他自找的 Fuck him. He poked you in the eye. He had it coming.
是的 他自找的 他戳了我的眼睛 Yeah, he did have it coming. He poked me in the eye.
是的 干死他 -Yeah, fuck that guy. -[Man laughing]
嘿 Kyle 怎么从屋顶下去 [Zack] Hey, Kyle, how are you gonna get down on the roof?
我很好 我今天要看烟花 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna watch the fucking fire works today.
[Kyle Zack的室友]
- 我们怎么让你下来 - 梯子 - How we're gonna get you down, man? -A ladder.
我们没有梯子 Kyle We don't have a ladder, Kyle!
我玩得很好 我在他妈的屋顶上 I'm having a good time, 'cause I'm on the top level of my fucking roof.
- 你想知道原因吗 刘冰 - Keire 这不是开玩笑 - You want to know why? Guess what, Liu? -Keire, this isn't a joke, yo.
- 不是开玩笑 今天是美国 - 你在屋顶上 - It's not a joke. It's America's... -You're all the way on my fucking roof.
的生日 老兄 ...fucking birthday, dude.
怎么样 -[man laughing] -[Kyle] Guess what?
这是自由的国家... In the land of the fucking free...
老兄 我跟你讲... [Zack] Dude, I'm telling you...
我在他妈的屋顶 老兄 [Kyle] ...I'm on this son-of-a-bitching roof, dude.
这是自由的国家 我站在屋顶... Land of the fucking free, on this son bitching roof...
烟花 老兄看来 棒极了 Fucking fire works, dude! Yes!
我的天哪 -[man] Oh, my God. -[Kyle screaming]
生日快乐 老兄 Happy fucking birthday, dude!
哦天哪 Keire Oh, my God, Keire.
操 天佑美国 Fuck! Bless America!
我从没想过我可以换尿布 [Nina] I never thought I'd be OK with changing the diaper.
我还挺在行的 But I'm pretty OK with it.
我们两个人合作 [Zack] We've been tag team in it, though.
更容易一些 So, it's easier.
很搞笑 有一次我叫Zack给宝宝奶瓶 Yeah, it was so funny, because, um, I had Zack give the baby a bottle
然后Keire就说 “哦天哪” and Keire was like, "Oh, my God,
- 他们疯了 - 他简直震惊了 - They're freaking out." -Yeah, it weirded him out the whole time.
他说 “不敢相信你真的成为爸爸了” He's like, "I can't believe you're actually a dad."
他很健壮 [Zack] He is dashing.
哦 别发脾气 -[baby crying] -Oh, don't be grumpy.
我会为孩子做任何事情 [Zack] I would do anything for that kid.
我将给他我所能给的所有可能性 帮助他成功 I wanna give him every opportunity I possibly can, to help him succeed,
让他快乐 让他成为一个好人 help him be happy, to be a good person.
很有趣 养育孩子会使人变得成熟 It's interesting how much having a kid would force you to, like, grow up.
我再也不能像以前一样 Like, I can't get home from work,
下班后回家喝一打啤酒 and fucking drink 12 pack, like I normally do
因为 我需要起床给孩子喂食 'cause, like, what if I have to get up and feed the kid, or you know
或者发生了什么情况 我得带他去医院 还有... what if something happens, I have to take him to the hospital, like...
我不知道 I don't know.
最近我变得很焦虑 Lately I've been having a lot of anxiety about...
怕我不像个大人 我自己做得还不够多 not feeling like a grownup, and not feeling like I've...
让我的生活过得去 done enough things to set my life up properly and...
我需要做些事了 it's time I do something, you know.
好的 请阅读测试中心的 OK, so, I need you to read over all of these, these are the rules
所有这些条款 - 好的 好的 of the testing center. -OK. OK.
“禁带手机 禁带电脑...” "No cellphone, no computer..."
好的 OK.
- 你在哪里工作 - 我是屋顶工 - Where do you work at? -Um, I'm a roofer.
辛苦的工作 That's hard work.
是的 所以我才来做检查 It is. That's why I'm taking this.
我不明白他们让我干嘛 I couldn't understand what they wanted me to do.
比如说他们记下来的东西 我就是... You know, like, the way it was written, I just...
我很困扰 我不明白 I was having trouble, I just didn't understand.
压力大啊 [sighs] That was rough.
你怎么样 几点了 How are you today? What time is it?
一点了
哦 Oh...
操 Fuck. [Laughing]
哦 老兄 Oh, man.
我在家 老兄 帮我带香烟和啤酒泵过来 I'm at home. Bring me some cigarettes and a beer pump, dude.
我到时候给你钱 I'll pay you when you get here.
谈谈Keire和他的滑板 Talking about Keire and his skateboard, yo,
- Keire和他的滑板 - 哦 是的 - Keire and his skateboard. -Oh! Yeah.
- 他总是玩滑板 - 表弟 你好啊 - He'll be doing his little thing. -All good, cousin.
像跟他讲屁话 你懂的 Like, talking shit to him, you know.
作为弟弟 最小的弟弟 Being a little, brother, you know, being the youngest brother.
你可以想到 但如果他不是最小的 You know, you got to think... but if he wasn't the youngest,
他应该和我们一起跑街串巷了 你懂我说的吗 he'd probably be running the streets with us. You know what I'm saying?
我能说的是 我很高兴他没有... All I could say is, I'm glad he ain't in the..., uh...
像我一样 我要走了 离开几天吧where I'm at, right now, I got to go do, uh, a few days, you know.
至少 我有个约会 One thing about that, at least, uh, I got an out-date.
好了 兄弟 All right, bro.
糟透了 Sucks.
Keire和其他人不一样 [Roberta] Keire is quite different from the others.
[Roberta Keire的母亲]
我总是这么想 I think about it a lot.
我想让他开始 'Cause I want him to start...
严肃的想想他未来要做什么 getting real serious about what he's gonna be doing.
我十一月就18岁了 [Keire sighs] I turned 18 in November.
从那时开始我就在想 我应该找个工作 Ever since then I just feel like, I should get a good job
找“一份”工作 就想找“一份”工作 or get like, "a" job, this "a" job in general.
但我不知道 [Keire] But I don't know.
我慢慢变成了一个男人 我觉得我搞砸了 I'm becoming a man, and like, I feel like, there's something I got fucked over on
因为 我的童年挺可怕的 because, like, my childhood was really scary time.
你有毛病吗 干嘛拿滑板摔我 Fucking wrong with you? Throwing your fucking board at me?
嘿 小孩 发生什么了 [man] Hey, kid, what happened?
他做什么了 What did he do?
还想和我打架吗 Still wanna fight me now?
- 发生什么了 - 你知道发生了什么 - What happened? -You know what
嘿 Hey.
这是你的滑板吗
是的 Yeah.
Keire 他承受了很多 [Roberta] Keire, he held in a lot,
他爸爸 and his dad, you know,
对他要求很严厉 he was really kind of strict on him.
他的爸爸是个木匠 You know, his father was, he was a carpenter,
他想Keire子承父业 and he wanted Keire to do that,
因为其他孩子都不想跟着他干这行 because he couldn't get the other boys to, you know, follow his foot steps.
- 但是Keire不喜欢 - 该死 - But Keire didn't like it. -[Keire] Damn it!
- 耶 - 继续 - Yeah! -Do it!
有时候我知道我应该顺从他 [Zack] And like, sometimes I'd know that I have to work with him.
所以 我会从窗户偷偷溜出去 先把滑板扔出去 So, I'll sneak out my window, like, throw my board out first
然后再爬出去 and just climb out.
当我回到家后 Then when I got home,
会被管教 I got disciplined.
然后我会玩一会儿滑板 And then I would go skate for a while.
什么样的管教 [Bing] How did you get disciplined?
呃... Uh...
嗯 现在的说法是虐待孩童吧 但是 嗯... I mean, well, they call it child abuse now, but it's, um...
婊子 啊 Bitch! Uh!
那些糟心事让你愤怒 [Keire] That shit makes you angry, like, oh, God...
像是怒火攻心 像是... 操 It, like, it like boils my... my blood, dude, like, uh... fuck.
操 Fuck!
有多糟糕呢 [Bing] How bad did it get?
像是 你有哭过吗 Like, did you ever cry?
哦 开始时有 开始时有 Oh, at first. At first. Like...
我是说... I mean...
你没有吗 Weren't you?
我哭过 [Bing] I did cry.
我觉得所有人都会哭 I feel like everybody cries.
你在这里买的滑板吗 Is this the board you bought here?
- 啊... - 我觉得是的 - [Bing] Uh... -I think you did.
挺久以前 A while ago.
我记得我们店里以前有这种滑板 Remember, we had this board in the shop.
我买滑板没那么勤了 我滑的不太多了 I don't buy boards that much anymore, 'cause I don't skate that much anymore.
老兄 跟我讲讲 我不太滑了 Dude, tell me about it. I don't skate nearly enough.
我不记得什么时候第一次见你了 I don't really remember when I first met you.
[Eric Groundfloor滑板店老板]
我只是... 他就是那个总在那里的小孩 I... I just, he was just, that kid that always there, you know, like...
你总是来滑板店里 You come into the skate shop...
我不知道 我们总是闲聊 I don't know, we talk about random stuff.
很多小孩都这样 And that happened with a lot of kids.
他们走进来 就跟我讲 And they could come in and be like, yeah, dude...
我的父母糟透了和类似这样的事情 my parents suck or this is going on.
他们走进来 为了释放 and they'd come in unload, you know...
但是你很内向 But, like, you were introverted.
我不知道 我记得我还问过你是不是同性恋 And I didn't know, and I remember, think I asked you if you were gay.
你还记得吗 Do you remember that at all?
- 不记得 - 我问你 - [Bing] No. -Like, I... I asked you, like,
老兄 你是同性恋吗 你... dude, are you gay, like, what's... What do you... You know, like,
我知道你承受了很大压力 I knew... I knew you had some huge weight on you.
你就说 “不是的 老兄” And, you were like, "No, dude," you know.
但是我不记得 你什么时候开始跟我讲你妈妈的一些事情的 But I can't remember when you opened up to me about your mom and stuff.
但是 你从来没有真的告诉我你发生什么了 But I... You never really told me about anything about what was going on with you
现在回过头来看 我看着他的话 and, I guess, in retrospect now, I look at him like,
应该会知道的吧 I should've totally figured that out.
我一开始就会明白的 Like, I could tell, with you from the very beginning, like,
滑板对你来说不只是为了酷和结交朋友 skateboarding meant more to you than just being cool and having friends, like...
也是你逃离 It was your thing to like...
的一种方式 get away.
是关于生死的事情 It was kind of a life or death thing.
别人觉得这是一种有趣 搞笑的事情 [Zack] To other people it's funny, ha-ha-ha, you know,
哦 这些人是疯子 oh, these guys are crazy,
但是现实是 我觉得它是一种控制手段 but in reality I think it's a control thing.
你必须要时刻小心的控制 You fucking have to control the most minute, small details
让你在不正常的世界里觉得正常 to make you feel normal in a world that's not normal.
某种程度上可以说它是一种解药 [Keire] It was kind of be like a drug in a way.
当我在精神崩溃的边缘 Like, I can seriously be on a verge of having a fucking mental breakdown,
只要玩滑板 我就会没事 but as long as I am able to go skate then I am completely fine.
耶 Yeah!
厉害 Bravo!
这里很空荡 Here goes nothing.
当解药失效 [Keire] As soon as the effect of the drug wears off,
所有的糟心事又回来了 this thing just comes back to you.
发生什么了 你们昨天收到工钱了吗 So, what happened? Did we get paid yesterday, or...
我不知道 I don't know.
我也不知道 I don't know, either.
我需要工时 我要养小孩 I need my hours, man. I got kids to feed.
老兄 我的老板就是个混蛋 Dude, my boss is, seriously, such an asshole,
完全疯了 他们现在缺人手 it is crazy, like... Fucking, they're understaffed now,
还叫我下班 and he just told me to clock out.
我的预算一周前就花光了 [Zack] My budget is already spent out for a week,
所以我现在都是落后一周 so, I'm a week behind every time.
现在 我必须想想怎样追上日程上本该有的额外的三个工时 So, now, I have to figure out how to come up with three extra hours
而现在我根本没跟上日程 on a schedule that I'm barely fucking on.
伊利诺伊大学的的调查发现 [man] According to research from the University of Illinois,
罗克福德47%的工人 共60000名 about 47 percent of all Rockford workers, 60,000 total
时薪低于15美元 earn less than $15 per hour.
罗克福德最近几年失业率居高不下 [man #2] Rockford has struggled with unemployment for years.
公司迁走了 工作机会也走了 Companies have left, so, have the jobs.
从整个伊利诺斯州看 [woman] Out of all of Illinois,
2010年开始从罗克福德市搬走的人数最多 Rockford has seen the largest number of people move away since 2010.
那桌有多少人 How many people are gonna be at that table?
12到15个人之间 Uh, could be anywhere from 12 to 15.
棒 Great.
耶 最困难的工作来了 干得漂亮 Yeah, you took the hardest one. Good job.
好了 There you go.
好了 把你收拾好了 There you go. I got you all lined up there.
好的 宝宝 Come on, bud.
我感到很奇怪 I feel weird, 'cause like...
我也不知道 I don't know.
我和宝宝讲话 用宝宝的语气 'Cause I, like, talk to my baby, like, baby-voicin'.
这是个婴儿 就应该这样跟他讲话 But, I mean, it's a fucking baby, that's how you talk to 'em,
你知道我的意思吧 我不会说 you know what I mean? I'm not gonna be, like,
“好了 Elliot 我们要帮你穿衣服了 兄弟” "All right, Elliot, we're gonna put your clothes on, lil' buddy.
- 好的 - 哦 别 - [woman] Yes. -[Zack] Oh, no.
她上班我照顾小孩 [Zack] It's like, she works and I watch him
或者我上班他照顾小孩 除了这个 or I work and she watches him. I... I don't know. And other than that,
我们都陪着他 we're both pretty much around.
好的 All right.
给你 Here you go.
你想要这个吧 你想要这个吧 Is that the action you want? Is that the action you want?
有婴孩的生活也挺难的 [Zack] It's a hard enough life, being a baby.
有压力 It's... It's got to be stressful.
他们不用走路 不用去厕所 I mean, you save a bunch of time by not having to walk
节省了很多时间 and go to the bathroom but...
有人帮擦屁股 每三个小时有人帮喂食 And then someone just cleans it for you, someone feeds you every three hours.
我整周都没去上班 这种情况一般不会发生 See, I've been off work all week which normally never happens,
五天了我没离开这个房子 我没有时间去做任何事 I haven't left this house in five days 'cause I haven't had time to do anything.
我现在很容易生气 And I get cooked up, super, super easily,
这把我逼疯了 so that, you know, it's been driving me nuts.
你见过叔叔吗 Have you met your uncle, have you?
嘿 妈妈回来了 Hey, mama's here.
工作怎么样 How was work?
- 呃 - 工作后喝酒怎么样 - Eh. -How was after-work drinks?
我只喝了一杯意大利苦杏酒
天啊 不奇怪你总是喝断片儿 Jeez, girl. No wonder you're always broke.
- 应该要7块钱吧 - 4块钱 - Those things are probably like $7. -They're $4.
好吧 你要喂他吗 All right, are you gonna feed him?
不行 我跟你讲过你喂的 我要和Jess见面去 No, I told you to. I have to, like, get ready and meet Jess.
什么 你没跟我讲过 What? You did not tell me that.
- 我讲过了... - 你说过 “我会喂他的” - Yeah, I did... -You said, "I'm gonna feed him."
你不能喂下他吗 你都11个小时不在家了 现在又要... You can't just feed him, like, 11 hours and now you're going out...
你过去五个月就是这样的 You did that to me for five months.
- 去酒吧 你就不能喂下... - 五个月了... - To the bar. You can't feed... -Five months...
- 你的孩子吗 - 你就不能完整做一天吗 - ...your fucking kid. -...You can't do it one day.
你不能喂他吗 搞什么 You can't feed him, like, what the fuck?
我会喂他的一瓶这个 给他吃固体食物 I'll feed him the bottle, just feed him the solid food.
- 我只是想让你做这个 - 这一瓶才三盎司 - It's all I want you to do. -That bottle's only three ounces
他五分钟就吃完了 they'll drink that in, like five minutes.
我还要照顾他整晚 Then I got to take care of him all fucking nights still,
- 为什么你就不能... - 我甚至还没脱下 - So, why can't you just... -I haven't even gotten my fucking
- 外套呢 - 为什么你就不能喂他呢 - Jacket off. -Why can't you just feed him?
老兄 我就不明白了 Dude, that's what I don't fucking understand.
我在家里 妈妈 I was stay-at-home mom
你说的 我去工作 你会照顾Elliot and you said, I work, you take care of Elliot,
我做到了 现在我去上班 I did, and now, I'm working...
是啊 你八九点钟才回来 Right, and you show up somewhere between eight and nine,
- 刚好哄他睡觉 - 只发生过两次 - Just in... just in time to put him to bed. -That happened twice.
- 昨晚是你这周唯一 - Last night was the only night... -I told you...
- 一次在家的 - 你胡说 你知道的 - ...you stayed home all fucking week. -That's a fucking lie and you know it.
- 不管了 你是个傻瓜 赶紧走吧 - 不 你才是傻瓜 - Whatever. You're an idiot. Just go away. -No, you're a fucking idiot.
我想说 她现在正经历一些事 像是重回21岁 [Zack] I mean, she's like, going through something now, she's like newly 21
每天晚上都想出去 and wants to go out every night.
我告诉她 “你有孩子了 太晚了” And I told her, I'm like, "You had a kid, like, too late."
我喜欢那个女孩 我想和她在一起 [Zack] I love that girl, I... You know, I do want to be with her.
我只是想让她冷静点 I just want her to chill the fuck out.
现在觉得就我一个人 很多事情 And feel like, it's just been me, like a lot.
而她每天晚上都出去 做她想做的事 Well, she gets to go out every night and do whatever fuck she wants.
把我逼疯了 It drives me fricking insane.
我的朋友发短信给我说 [Keire] My... My friend, like, messaged me, he was like, "Hey,
“嘿 如果你需要的话 我明天能给你个工作” 我就说 I can get you a job tomorrow, like, if you wanted." And I was like,
“当然要” 他就说 “但是需要警告一下你 是个辛苦的活儿” "Yeah." And... but he's like, "But just to warn you, it's really hard work."
我不喜欢跟人讲我是个洗盘子的 I don't like telling people that I'm a dishwasher,
但是我也不是很在意 这是我赚钱的方式 but then again I don't really care, 'cause it's like, how I make money. [Laughing]
这是我的第一份真正的工作 It's like definitely my first real job.
我不想我的余生 'Cause I just don't want to, like, work
做我不喜欢的工作 some, like job I hate for the rest of my life.
“主街滑板运动场” 又叫做滑板场 The Main Street Skatepark, aka the park set.
“主街滑板运动场”之前是滑板场 [man] Main Street Skatepark was a skatepark
我和另一个人一起创办的 I had started with a guy that'd run a gym
他长期经营健身房 他想在冬天 for a long time and he was looking for an extra source of income
寻求另外的收入来源 -During the winter months. -[Men laughing]
我告诉他 我又木材 我们可以建个滑板场 [man] You know, I had told him, I have all this wood, we could build a skatepark.
我将它称为Keire盒子 它形状看起来很奇怪 还很长 I'm calling it the Keire box right now 'cause it's really weird-shaped and long.
疯了 Crazy.
老兄 什么鬼 Dude, what the fuck?
这是刚刚Keire走路的姿态 That's how Keire just walks around, like...
大跨步 六英尺幅度甩手 很搞笑 Just lanking, like, your arms are six feet and funny all the time.
我们有 二乘四... We have two-by-fours...
好的 OK.
嘣 Boom.
一个 两个 One and two...
我父亲是个木匠 [Zack] My father was a carpenter.
我从他和家人身上学到了很多 I learned a lot from him and a lot from my family.
八十年代 我父亲在我祖母的溜冰场建了个滑板场 In the 80's, my father started a skatepark in my grandmother's roller rink.
那是整个地区唯一的室内滑板场 And, uh, they managed the only indoor skatepark in the area
他们经营了八年左右 for eight years or something like that.
我从小就被教育 “做你想做的事情” I was, kind of raised to, you know, like, "Do what you wanna do."
但是 后来他变了 像是转换了开关 And then, somewhere along the line, he just, like, flipped the switch,
变成了保守的美国人 like, wanted to become, like, conservative American.
突然间 他严格要求我 对我寄予厚望 All of a sudden, there were all these rules and expectations.
他们把我推向他们认为的成功人士的模子里 They were, like, pushing me into this mold of someone they thought was a good person.
我就 “操他妈的” 我记得其中一首... And I'm like, "Fuck that." Like, I remember one of... you know,
我们小时候唱的朋克歌曲 when I was a kid, like, we've fucking sung punk music
抽大麻 去他的 and fucking smoking joints and, like, you know, like, fuck that.
好吧 好吧 我会找个临时保姆 去你的 [Zack] All right, fine. I'll man... I'll find a babysitter then and then fuck you.
我们之后再谈吧 I guess I'll talk to you later.
首先 你应该照顾到下午六点的 所以我周六... First of all, you're supposed to have until six p. M., so, I get my Saturday...
我从周一 You knew since Monday
- 就计划好了 - 你不应该把计划定在周六 - That I had plans for that. -Yo, it's that you shouldn't have
因为周六是我休息的日子 fucking made plans for a Saturday because this is supposed to be my day.
- 你总是在... - 我一天也没休息 - So, you... you get days off... -I never get a day to myself.
- 休息好吗 - 没有 并没有 - ...all the time... -No, I don't.
- 我一周只有两天休息 - 我什么时候才有时间休息 - I only get two days off a week. -When do I ever get a day to myself?
- 今天应该是我休息的日子 - 好吧 拜拜 Nina - This is supposed to be my day, today. -OK, bye, Nina.
就是这种情况 Ain't that just the way.
你和Nina有认真谈过吗 [Bing] Do you and Nina ever, like, just tried talking it out?
成功的谈？ Successfully?
没有 Nope.
- 他很兴奋 - 是的 - He's just so excited. -I know.
[Vickie Nina的婶婶]
他过得很开心 我们在外边玩 做有趣的事情 对吧 He's had a good day, we're just playing outside and doing fun stuff, huh?
我们还生了火 We have a fire going.
哦是的 你想加些木板吗 Oh, yeah. You wanna put some boards on it?
- 是的 - 好的 我来抱小孩 - Yeah. -OK. I'll hold the baby,
你加些木板上去 you put some boards on there.
我和Zack最近总是吵架 [Nina] Me and Zack just fought a lot.
最后 我只能离开 我就想 “我再也不能这样下去了” Eventually, I just had to leave, I'm like, "I can't do this anymore."
看妈妈 Look at Mama.
当了妈妈后更加 [Nina] Especially being a mom,
你不想看到自己的孩子处于那样的环境中 you don't want to see your kid in an environment like that.
- 应该会不错 对吧 - 是的 - That should be good, right. -Yup.
我没有别的地方可去 [Nina] I don't really have anywhere to go.
我婶婶和叔叔就跟我讲 And my aunt and uncle just wound up being, like,
“嘿 我们想帮你” "Hey, we want to help you."
- 够深了吧 - 是的 - Down there? -Yeah.
在完美的世界里 我们可能会在一起 [Nina] In a perfect world, it means, I could still be together.
但是我不知道 我想与他有结果 But I don't know. Like I wanted to work out with him.
他就是不懂 He just doesn't get it.
我感觉我们中很多父母都不在一起 [Bing] I feel, like, a lot of our parents are not together.
你的父母离婚了吗 Were your parents divorced?
没有 他们只是分居了
他跟他父亲一起生活 [Roberta] Well, he stayed with his dad,
因为他跟我讲 他能更好的养育他 because, he told me, he could raise him better
他能够教他我不能教的东西 because he could teach him things that I couldn't.
真希望不用再回去了 I really hope that I don't get back in there
里边还有同样多的箱子 and there'd be, like, the same amount of boxes.
我和我爸爸生活 [Keire] You know, like, I live with my dad,
他每个周末都让我干活 but he kept trying to make me work like every single weekend.
我就说 “我想去玩滑板 我想去玩滑板” You know, I was like, "Come on, like, I got to skate. I got to skate."
然后我们就大打出手了 Fuck, then we got into, like a fight.
他就是一副我是你老爸 你要听话去工作 He was, like, I'm your dad, like you're going to work,
我就是不愿意 and I was just, like, "No."
然后我就动手打了他 Then I tried to punch him.
第二天我就搬走了 And then I moved out, like, the next day.
我跟我爸说的最后一句话就是 “我恨你” Actually, one of the last things I said to my dad was that, "I hate you."
我当时生气极了 他把我打得很惨 I was just so fucking angry, 'cause he just kicked my ass.
你成长过程中 [Bing] Did you see any violence in your household
家庭暴力很常见吗 when you were growing up?
我不知道 I don't know, man. It's...
是个很难的问题 That's a tough question, it's hard...
在于你怎么定义暴力 It depends on what you determine as violent.
当我还是个孩子的时候 如果我做错事了 Like, when I was a kid, if I was fucking up...
就会被打屁股 我想所有人都是这样 ...I got my ass whooped. I feel like everyone does. I mean...
只不过有些人的遭遇比另一些人严重罢了 Some people got it worse than other people.
[Kent 我同母异父的弟弟]
你想带我参观下房子吗
好的 Yeah.
这是我爸爸的专属柜子 This is my dad's closet, specifically,
他把所有东西都藏在这 and he'd hide everything right here.
比如我的游戏机 电脑 玩具 Like, my PlayStation controllers, entire computers, toys,
他收藏的黄片就堆在那边的角落里 and then his vintage porn was, like, in the corner right there in... in a stack.
还有 Along with, like...
一些武器就在地板那层 several firearms that were on the floor.
我评价我和我爸的关系就是 I used to judge my relationship with my father based on, like,
我每天 a day-to-day basis on...
惹恼他的次数 how many things I've done to piss him off in that given day.
有一天我在这玩电脑 And this day that I was here playing on the computer,
感觉是很不错的一天 我也没干什么错事 felt like a good day, that I hadn't done anything wrong,
也没什么冲突 我们也不怎么说话 it all went without a hitch, we hadn't talked very much,
我应该没做什么不好的事情 there wasn't much opportunity for me to do anything bad,
但是他走进来 but then he just comes in...
看着我 我抬头看着他 looks at me, I turn up and look at him...
他就说我“看起来很蠢” and he just says that, I "look fucking stupid."
然后走出去 我还以为这就完了 And he walks out, and I thought that was the end of it
我就想 “哦 还好 没什么大不了的” I was like, "Oh, well, OK, that's not too bad"
但是他又回来了 带了一把厨房用剪刀 but then he comes back in with a pair of, like meat scissors
就开始了 他抓住我的头 and he just starts, he just like grabs my head
开始剪我的头发 and starts hacking my hair off.
要记得关门 Always shut the doors because...
保暖 别把热气散了 you know, it keeps the... [clears throat] keeps the heat in...
这也是会挨揍的事情 That was another thing worth punishing.
你的房间在哪 [Bing] Where's your room?
哦 我的房间 是的 以前是我哥的房间 Oh, my room? That's right. This used to be my brother's room.
为什么你一直说我哥哥
你可以直接说我
噢 是的 Uh, that's true.
嗯 是的 Um, yeah.
我记得听到打人的声音... I remember hearing beating...
喊叫声是从你房间传出来的 and, like screaming coming from your room, and it was like...
痛苦哀嚎 然后我... unnerving screams of, like, anguish almost, and I... it was like...
担惊受怕 很恐怖 really, really unnerving. It was almost scaring.
妈妈？ Mom?
你要洗什么 衣服吗
嗯 我要洗衣服和毯子 Yeah, I have to wash my clothes and my blankets.
和什么
我的毯子 我需要两个 And my... my blanket. I just need two.
等一下
好的 OK.
谢谢 [sniffles] Thank you
只有一个 两个小时后还回来 [man] Use it for one. I need two hours.
- 好的 谢谢 - 没事 - OK. Thank you. -[Man] All right.
我妈妈有了新的男朋友 我不怎么喜欢他 [Keire] My mom has this new boyfriend, and I don't really like him.
你有了新的男人吗 [Bing] So, do you have a new man in your life?
- 新的男人？ - 是的 - A new man in my life? -Yeah.
嘿 这不是隐私吗 Hey, ain't this sort of personal there?
这是隐私
这太私人了 需要把摄影机关掉
哦 Oh...
五分钟到了
怎么了 Yeah?
我一会儿再回来 I'll be back in a minute.
♪祝你生日快乐 亲爱的的Elliot♪ ♪ Happy birthday, dear Elliot... ♪
♪祝你生日快乐♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
他说 “搞什么鬼” [woman] He said, "What the heck?"
Elliot 看上边 [woman] Elliot, look up.
哦天哪 全都在脸上了 Elliot Oh, hell, yeah. It's all up in there, Elliot.
我成长过程中 我的家人都很疏远 [Nina] My family, when I grew up, we were all were very distant.
家里很乱 我基本上一直呆在我自己的房间里 It was very chaotic and I'd just stay in my room the whole time.
我想 可能是因为成长环境吧 我疯狂渴望被爱 I think, 'cause of the way that I grew up, like I really desperately craved love.
[Rory Zack的父亲]
我爸爸21岁时生了我 [Zack] I think my dad had me when he was 21
我两岁左右的时候 我妈妈离开了我们 and my mom left when I was, like two or something.
所以我想 我总是想从我爸身上找寻 And so, I think, I was always looking for something from my dad
一些得不到的 that I didn't get.
一些本应该从我妈那里得到的 Like, maybe something I was supposed to get from my mom.
好的 没事 Elliot 拆掉它 I know. It's OK, it's OK. Elliot, rip that off.
很棒 [woman] All right!
嗨 宝贝 [Zack] Hi, baby.
我爱你 给我个抱抱 I love you. Give me a hug.
- 爱你 Nina - 我刚跟刘冰讲你 - Love you, Nina. -I was telling Bing about how you went
去和Katie约会 我差点儿杀了她 on a date with Katie and I almost killed her.
- 是的 - 很糟糕 - Yeah. -It was bad.
我一般不那样的 You know, like, I'd usually don't get like that.
她晚上11点钟出现在那个女孩面前 准备大打一场 She showed up at 11 o'clock at night with this other girl, ready to fight.
看到了吗 我所有时间都在和这个小婊子作斗争 See this, you see what I'm dealing with all the time. This little bitch.
哦 哦 耶 好拽啊 [Zack] Oh! Oh, yeah. Real slick there.
操 -[man screaming] Fuck! -[Crowd cheering]
- 上帝保佑你 - 好的 老兄 - God bless you. -All right, man.
豁出去了 Do this.
噢 [man] Oh!
- 哦 耶 - 这招都让我 - Fuck, yeah! -That trick made me wanna
想自摸了 Keire 我可没说谎哦 touch my body, Keire. I'm not gonna lie.
你是说想洗澡吧 Like, you wanna take a shower. [Laughing]
- 哦 天哪 - 厉害啊 - Oh, my God. -Holy fuck.
- 看起来超厉害 - 疯狂 - That looks fucked up. -That was crazy.
就像是这就是我一直从家里逃跑出来 [Keire] Like, this is the result of, all those times I've ran away from home
玩滑板的成果 to the skate park.
我想让我爸爸看到我的进步 Like, I'd love for my dad to see how much progress I've made
因为在他眼里我只是个逃跑的白痴 since I was a little shithead trying to escape it.
我会骄傲的 Uh, it would bother me.
可能他会说 “哦 还不错” [Keire] Maybe, he'd just be like, "Oh, damn,
“原来你并没有在浪费生命” you weren't just wasting your... your life.
我知道他们的关系很紧张 [Zack] I know their relationship's definitely strained,
我觉得Keire不知道他爸爸对他有多重要 and I don't think Keire really realized how much his dad meant to him
直到他爸爸去世 until his dad actually did pass away.
我爸爸去世那天 [Keire] The day that my dad died,
我刚放学 应该是星期五 uh, I just got out of school, it was, like a Friday,
我从巴士上下来 and... I just got off the bus...
就看到我妈吓傻了 My mom was just, like freaking out,
我一到家 就看到她吓傻了 as soon as I got home, she was, like, freaking out.
她说 “他走了 他走了” 可我不相信 And she was like, "He's gone, he's gone." And I didn't wanna, like, believe it
我感到很生气 so, I was all mad at her for, like, saying that.
就说 “爸爸很健康 他没死” I was like, "Dad's strong, he's not dead, I was like, whatever."
然后 他们用担架把他搬出来了 And... they, like brought him out on that stretcher...
我就震惊了 and I was just, like, "Holy fuck!" Like...
他真的看起来是去世了 He actually looks kind of dead right there.
我就是不敢相信 我不知道 And I was just like, "Fuck," and... I don't know, it's just...
我不知道 I don't know. Uh...
很奇怪 It's... It's weird, it's just...
现在很难解释那种状况 It's just really difficult to... for me to explain right now.
- 嘿 - 嘿 你好啊 小家伙 - Hey. -Well, hey, there, bud.
准备好了吗 和爸爸一起弹 Ready? Come play with Daddy.
小家伙 像这样 一个手指头 Buddy, like this. Just one finger.
一个 Just one.
像这样抱着他 [Zack] Hold him like this real fast.
好的 我会抱着他的 你去忙你的吧 All right. I'll hold him for a second just do your thing.
过来 好的 过来 Come on. Yeah, come here.
耶 Yeah!
我们要穿到那边去了 We're gonna make it to the poles.
我们要成功了 喔 We're gonna make it! Whoo!
最近你们在忙什么 [Bing] Uh, what... what have you guys been up to?
啊 我们在调整... [Zack] Uh... lately we've been adjusting to, uh...
我不知道 我请求每天都能见我的孩子 I don't know. Like, I... I asked if I can see my son, like every day
但是我现在只能每周见三次 and I only get to see him, like, three times a week.
真的烦死了 她 It's really been bugging me out, and she's been like...
她总是无理取闹 She's talking lot of shit, you know,
跟我说我狗屎不如之类的 telling me, you're piece of shit and all the stuff, and...
- 完全不可控了 - 所以... - It... It got out of control, man... -So...
- 我不知道 - 这是视频 - I don't know. -This is the video.
我恨你 我要杀了你 'Cause I hate you and I'll fucking stab you.
Zack 我要用刀杀了你 I will fucking stab you with the fucking knife, Zack.
- 去他妈的去死 去死 去死 - 别喊了 - Fucking die! Die! Die! -[Zack] Knock it off!
- 太操蛋了 - 离我远点 - This is so fucking?? -[Nina] Get off of me!
那就停下来 [Zack] Then stop it!
- 去死 去死 - 不能停吗 - [Nina] Die! Die! -[Zack] Not gonna stop?
你做这些 是想我杀了你吗 [Nina] You're doing this... it's like you want me to fucking kill you.
你活该 'Cause you're asking for it!
Kyle给我看了你和Zack吵架的视频 [Bing] Kyle showed me some recordings of you and Zack fighting.
我猜 他肯定会的 I bet, he did.
你们为什么吵架 [Bing] What... What were those fights about?
怎么会那个样子 What were they like?
嗯... Well...
如果他给你看的部分是 我在喊叫 Zack If he showed you the one where, I'm like, Zack,
- 我要杀了你之类的 - 是的 - I'm gonna fucking kill you right now. -Yeah.
但是在Kyle录视频之前他打了我10分钟 He beat my ass 10 minutes before Kyle took that video
但他没有录那部分 and he didn't decide to record that part.
我眉毛处还有伤疤 You know, I've got a scar going down my eyebrow.
他用我的身体打坏了咖啡桌 I've got... He broke his coffee tables with my body, like...
显然 我心理状态不好 Obviously, I'm not in the state of mind,
我没 我没疯掉 like, I'm not... I'm going crazy at this point
我是个弱女子 你知道我的意思 because I'm a little girl, you know, what I mean?
你任凭喝醉的Zack And you have wasted Zack...
对你施暴 我就... doing all that and then it's like, yeah, I'm gonna... yeah, like...
当然我就会喊叫 我要杀了你之类的 of course I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna fucking kill you if you... you know.
我不知道 I don't know.
我不知道这件事 他为什么打你 [Bing] I didn't know that? Why did he... Why was he hitting?
他喝醉了 Uh, he gets wasted.
就会找茬打架 He, you know, will start fighting
然后完全失控 and then he'll take it completely out of control and...
视频那次不是第一次了 That, I mean, that's not the first time it's happened, either that recording...
我身上经常有青淤 and I mean, I've been like pretty, like, bruised up
我总是... 他总打我 like, I'd have, like a... From him, like, hitting me and like,
我身上总有大片的青淤 I'd have, like a huge bruise and like, just all over and then...
然后第二天 他看到了 什么也不说 You know, he'd like, see them the next day and he, like, wouldn't even say anything
连声对不起都不说 like, not even a sorry or...
什么也不说 anything like that.
我们就当做什么也没发生 We just kind of ignore it like it didn't happen.
所以... So...
总之 你的镜头将补充我的镜头 In a way, your footage will offset with my footage because...
这是唯一一次不是我在掌镜 this is the only time that I haven't shot in the movie, so, it's like it...
甚至在对谈的时候 You know, so, like, even when during the interview, when you're, like,
也是你拍摄我的反应之类的 shoot me, getting my reaction shots, it'll, like...
我不知道 I don't know.
我八九岁的时候搬到了罗克福德 We moved to Rockford when I was eight or nine.
我妈遇到了我的继父 And my mom met my step father...
有一天他进来了我妈上班的披萨店 One day when she was working at the pizza restaurant, this man came in.
他是常客 之前他们也见过 He had been a regular, he had seen her before.
然后他们开始互相了解 然后有一天他跟着她回家了 Um, and he started getting to know her and then one day he followed her home,
知道我们的住所 found out where we lived and...
然后成了我的继父 then he became my step dad.
但是 嗯... But, um...
我有点儿埋怨她 在我还是个孩子的时候 Uh, you know, I think I was blaming her for, sort of abandoning me
某种程度上抛弃了我 when I was a kid.
[Meng Yue 我的母亲]
妈妈 你能 你能在你面部位置鼓下掌吗 Mom, can you, uh, can you clap your hands just in front of your face?
好的 OK.
- 为什么要这么做 - 为了等会儿录音用 - What's that for? -It's for a sound thing for later.
- 哦 - 你能看清楚我的脸吗 - Oh. -Can you see my face OK?
- 不行... 现在可以了 - 不行吗 好的 - [stammers] No... Now is OK. -No? OK.
我试着在这不动 I'll just try it to hold it here for now.
现在 我能看着你的眼睛 Now, [mumbles], I can see your eye. [Lndistinct]
我知道 灯光比较刺眼 对不起 I know, it's hard with all the lights. I'm sorry.
嗯 我很好奇 嗯... Um, so, I'm curious, uh...
- 谁是Dennis - 等一下 - Who is Dennis? -[Man] Hold on a second.
- 哦 - 不好意思 - Oh! -[Man] I'm sorry.
好了 [man] OK.
“谁是Dennis” "Who is Dennis?"
你为什么这么问 Why did you ask that?
- 嗯 因为... - 你知道他是谁 - Uh, because... -You know who he is.
我不觉得我认识他 Well, I don't feel like I know who he is.
你知道 嗯... Did you know that, um...
我第一次和他独处的时候 他... the first time I was ever alone with him, that's when he...
- 揪住我 - 你... - Grabbed me. -You...
他怎么 讲清楚 什么 He did... Wait, what?
我第一次单独和他在一起的时候 他揪住我 The first time I was ever alone with him, was the first time he grabbed me.
- 然后打你了？ - 打我 是的 - And hit you? -Beat me. Yeah.
我想知道 你到底知道多少 I mean, how much did you know about what was happening?
- 因为你总是在上班 - 是的 是的 - Because you were always gone working -Right, right.
你们结婚后 他很快就退休了 Because he retired pretty soon after you, you and him married.
- 是的 - 你大部分时间不在家 - Right. -So, you weren't home that much.
我就和他一起 I was just with him.
我想... I think...
我不知道 我不知道现在该说什么 I don't... I don't know what else to say now.
我希望我能重来一遍 重新开始 做不同的选择 但是... I wish I can go over, do again, do differently, but...
我 我真的 我不知道现在该说什么 I... I really... I don't know what else to say now.
都过了 我... It's all past. I... I...
我不会 我没想过这么严重 [sighs] I would not. I don't know it was that bad.
我不知道他那么坏 尤其是背着我的时候 I don't know he's that bad especially behind me.
我... I was... [groans]
我希望我更有能力 但是我没有 I wish I was stronger and I wasn't.
我不知道 我 我 我... I don't know. I... I... I...
我不知道该说什么 I don't know what else to say.
嗯... Well...
你有... 我是说... Did you... I mean...
他有没有... But didn't he...
他什么时候第一次打你 [stammering] When was the first time that he hurt you?
莫名其妙的 他就过来掐我的脖子 I don't know what happened. He come to choke me.
是的 发生了好几次 Yeah, he has, few times.
我们经常因为你吵架
有一次我还报警了 那次你不在家
我差点不能呼吸了
他把我推到墙上
所以我才叫的警察
我挂了电话 但是我打了911 警察找到了地址
然后他们就过来了 ...and they showed up.
就是那次
他们问我要不要把他抓起来 我说不用
- 所以... - 我要告诉你的是 - So... -But the thing is, I was as I tell you,
他... with him...
他有两种人格
他有时候很坏
但大多数时候他对我很好
我小时候我的父母也经常吵架
我以前不想结婚 婚姻太糟糕了
但是 我没法那样
我想有自己的孩子 我想结婚
我想有...
我不想孤独终老
罗克福德市被评为第二危险的城市 [female newscaster] The city of Rockford is ranked as the number two
人口少于20万 most dangerous city with a population under 200,000 people.
去年司法部 [woman #2] Last year, the Department of Justice
关于罗克福德的报告就占了63页 created a 63-page report just for Rockford
致力于帮助解决其犯罪问题 to help it with it's violent crime problem.
据罗克福德警察局提交的2015年最终犯罪数据统计 The Rockford police department presenting final crime statistics for 2015.
接近四分之一的犯罪 About a fourth of that violent crime
是由于家庭暴力所致 can be attributed to domestic violence incidents.
你知道我今天发现什么了吗 You know what I found out today?
滑板教我怎样变得有激情 Skateboarding tought me how to be passionate.
- 这是一切的起点 - 这是一切的起点 - That's where it all started. -That's where it all started.
是的 -Yup. -[Man laughing]
- 我在跟你认真讲 - 我不是想取笑你 - I'm telling you. -I didn't mean to laugh at you.
没关系 我知道你是在开玩笑 It's all right. I knew that you were probably just kidding.
我不喜欢情绪化 I don't like emotions.
所以 我喜欢我老爸 And so, I mean, I'm like my dad,
“没什么喜不喜欢的” [heavy voice] "There is no such thing as emotions.
“只有工作 滚回去工作” Only work. Get back to it."
“如果工作够努力” [chuckles] "If you work hard enough,
“所有的问题都迎刃而解” -All of your problems will go away. -[Cell phone ringing]
你好 Hello?
好的 我五分钟左右就到 All right. I'll be there in, like, five minutes. Hold on.
- Zack - 嗯 - [man] Zack? -Mmm.
我以为你和Nina分手了 I thought you weren't with Nina anymore.
嗯 没彻底分 Um, not really.
我们经常聊天 We do a lot of talking.
工作怎样 How's work?
挺好的 [Nina] Good...
我喜欢你的头发 [Zack] I like your hair.
变成了卷发 It's all swirly.
对不起 下次我对你说好话了 I'm sorry. I won't be nice to you next time.
我什么也不说 I'll not say anything.
你的头发很糟糕 Nina No, your hair looks like shit, Nina.
- 不用谢 - 我不习惯你对我好 - You are welcome. -[Nina] I'm not used to you being nice to me.
呢呢呢呢 [mocking] Na na na na.
- 停下 Zack 我在开车呢 - [Nina] Stop, Zack. I'm driving! -[Both laughing]
- 停下 我在开车 - 以为你很厉害 对吗 - Stop. I'm driving. [Continues laughing] -Think you're a badass, huh?
- 你吓坏Elliot了 - Elliot才没有吓坏 - [Nina] You're freaking Elliot out. -Elliot's not freaked out.
他是有点儿被吓到了 I mean, he's a little freaked out.
停下 -[roars] -Stop!
我马上回来 蔬菜墨西哥卷 土豆条 欧洽塔[一种饮料] I'll be back. Veggie burritos, potatoes, horchata.
♪我浑身火热...♪ ♪ I'm feeling hot... ♪
所以你们两... [Bing] So, you guys are...
看起来越来越好了 looking better that ever. Like, what's...
我一天天看吧 [Nina] I'm gonna take it day by day
我总觉得他会再次让我失望 所以... because I feel like he's just gonna let me down again. So...
如果我不是那么看重他 也许就不会失望 If I don't take him seriously, I'm not gonna be let down.
所以 我只是随它发展吧 我觉得 So, I'm just, like, going with it, I guess.
你觉得我是否该跟他暗示一下他会打你
这个话题
- 跟他讲吗 不要 - 是的 - To him? Don't. -Yeah.
这是个坏... 不要 That's a bad... That's... no.
- 我是说... - 我觉得这种情况很普遍 - I mean... -I just think it's so prevalent,
对女性施暴 uh, like, violence towards women.
我看到过我妈妈受到过暴力对待 我觉得... And I saw that towards my mother and I just think it's...
好的 我不觉得... Right. I don't think...
她也是同样的想法 她总是说 “我不想讲出去” [Bing] She had the same idea. She was, like, "I don't wanna speak up."
是的 我是说... Right. I mean...
我不知道 I don't know.
尤其是像现在 我和他 Especially like, with me and him, like, kinda...
相处得很好 一起出来玩 being OK right now and like hanging out.
所有这些都会消失的 Like, all that would go down the drain.
好的 [Bing] OK.
但是 好的 -[door opens] -But, yeah.
去了好久 That took a long time.
50块钱 [Zack] It's 50 bucks.
- 要50块？ - 对 - [Nina] That's 50? -Yeah.
今天工作怎样
我很累 老兄 I'm fucking beat, dude?
我不知道该说说什么 我很累 I don't know what else to say. I'm beat.
等等 Wait a second.
老兄 今天是周几 Dude, what's today?
周四
我以为今天是周五 I thought it was fucking Friday.
我不需要去上班 I don't gonna have to go back to work.
是的 Yes!
哦天哪 是的 Oh, my God, yes!
哦天哪 Oh, my God.
你什么时候买的车
我前一两个月买的 I got my car probably a month or two ago.
你知道多少人的的车身后有突出的后唇 How many people you know have a portable ledge on the back?
我放弃了 I quit.
我觉得我如果在这里 就会被困在这里 I feel like if I stay here, I'm just gonna get stuck here.
但是 搬走也是很困难的一件事 But, like, moving out has just always been scary.
我不想搬出去了 Like, I don't wanna just move out and just think,
然后没钱付房租 by the time rent comes around, I don't have the money.
那样会很蠢和不负责任 Because then, I would look stupid and irresponsible.
还好吗 Merlin What's good, Merlin?
我们在拍摄说唱录影带 Yo, we're filming that rap video.
我们在拍摄说唱录影带 We're, we're filming a rap video.
你们看着像在犯罪
我们没犯罪 [Merlin] No, we're not guilty.
他们都这么说 [man in wheelchair] That's what they all say.
- 我们什么也没做 - 他会说 “他们都这么想的” - [Merlin] We didn't do it. -He's like, "That's what they all think."
看到了吗 在那边 里程表上边 Like, see, that shit right there. Like right above the pedometer,
有我的登记证 保险 驾照 I have like my registration, my insurance, my license.
所以你不必从兜里拿东西出来了 So, you don't have to reach for anything in your pockets.
老兄 警察总是这样 “请出示驾照和登记证” Dude, coppers like, "License and registration."
我就把手伸到那边 And I was like sure and I reached over there
伸到那边的杂物箱 那边的警察就像这样... to the fucking... uh, the glove box. The cop over there is like...
我吓尿了 “哦 别杀我” I was just like, "Oh, don't fucking shoot me."
他们就说 “冷静” 我就不懂他们“冷静”是啥意思 They are like, "Calm down." I was like, what do you mean, "Calm down"?
你们才应该冷静 You guys fucking calm down.
你们拔出抢对着我... You fucking pulled your gun on me for... for...
让我听从于你们 like, obeying what you said. [Chuckles]
真是扯淡 It's just... it's just... a bunch of shit, you know?
你看过那个视频吗 [Zack] Did you see that one?
- 在一个加油站 - 你看过了吗 - Like at the gas station? Yeah. -You saw that one?
- 他就说 拿出你的驾照 - 吓坏我了 - He's like, give me your drivers licence. -That fucking terrified me.
那个人转过身去他的车里拿驾照 So, the guy turns around and goes in his car to get his driver's licence
警察就直接向他开枪 开了四枪 and the cop just shoots him, like, four times.
在这里死去太容易了 I can die really easily here.
- 很糟 - 一点也不糟 那是最搞笑的视频了 - This is going to suck. -Here no, this is like the funniest video ever.
我要给你看 I have to show you this.
臭黑鬼 死黑鬼 [man in video] ...dumb niggers, dork niggers,
亚洲黑鬼 Asian niggers,
白人黑鬼 white niggers.
吸我老二 婊子 [man #2] Suck my dick, bitch!
专家和黑鬼正等着你他妈的电话呢 Pundits and niggas just waiting for your mother fucking call,
他们都在讲你坏话呢 they all talking shit about you.
成长过程中 我爸爸总是告诉我 [Keire] Growing up, my dad would always tell me,
“Keire 你有一些白人朋友” "Keire, like, you know, you have a lot of white friends,
“但是别忘记你是黑人” but don't forget that you're black."
你在睡觉吗 宝宝 You mind taking a nap, buddy?
嗨 -[woman] Hi! -[Lndistinct chat]
让我先亲亲 Let me have a kiss first.
我先抱他 I get him first.
在我的家里 我们不会拥抱之类的 [Nina] We didn't, like, hug or anything in my family.
当我从我和Zack的公寓搬出来后 So, when I first moved out from me and Zack's apartment,
每天晚上睡觉之前 我婶婶都会拥抱我 like, my aunt would give me a hug every night before I went to bed and...
一开始我觉得很奇怪 我就像这样 “呃” it was so weird to me and at first, I be like, "Ugh!"
你在摸我 请不要这样 Like, you're touching me. Like don't please!
一段时间过后 我就这样 “我要去睡觉了” And then after a while, I was, like, "OK, I'm going to bed."
“我的拥抱呢” You know, "Where's my hug?"
该睡觉了 宝贝 It's nap time, baby.
我从不知道家庭应该是什么样的 I never really knew what like a family was.
我应该会说 “啊 你还好吧” I would be very like "Ah! Are you OK?"
像我婶婶和叔叔给我的感觉那样 他们就像是在我21岁的时候... Like my aunt and uncle showed me that. They pretty much adopted me...
领养了我 [chuckling] ... at the age of 21.
但是他站上滑板的时候我还是很担心 But it still scares me when he gets on the skateboard.
- 我... - 嗯嗯 - I'm just like... -[aunt] Mm-hmm.
- 我们需要给他找个头盔 - 是的 - We need to find him a little helmet. -Yeah.
过来 过来 宝宝 Come here. Come on, bubba.
现在我知道 我希望的家庭应该是什么样了 [Nina] Like, now I know, what I want my family to be like someday.
你和Zack怎样了 [Bing] How've you and Zack been?
还是一样 他在忙他自己的事情 Uh, same as always. He's just doing his own thing.
超人的任务来了 [man on TV] Looks like a job for Superman.
离开他继续生活很难吗 [Bing] Is it hard for you to move on from him?
我想... I mean...
我没有一天不是想他的 I don't go one day without thinking about him.
真的 替他担心 Really, like, worrying about him or, like,
希望他打给我 wishing he'd call and, like...
不只是为了我 还是为了Elliot You know, not even just for me, but for Elliot, too, like...
我不知道 I don't know.
你为什么要忍受这些呢 Why do you put up with that, though.
我虽然见过他最坏的一面 I mean, even though, I've seen the worst of him,
但是 我也知道 I've... you know, I know that there is...
他有好的一面 a lot of good things about him too.
我需要 配牛排三明治的土豆条 I need, uh... fries, please, for the steak sandwich.
先生 请用 好的 我会拿菜单给你 Here you are, sir. All right. I'll go grab your menu.
真的吗 老兄 Seriously, man.
这比去那边好多了 This is, like, so much better than being back there
不用去干那个了 and having to do all of that.
现在 我不需要跟我妈要钱了 我可以给她钱 Right now, it's like, I don't have to ask my mom for money. I can give her money.
我们的自来水被停掉了 我可以帮忙付账单 Like, our water was gonna get cut off and I, like, helped pay the bill.
这让我感觉很好 I felt good really about that.
我和Zack With Zack...
有一段时间没见了 we have drifted apart a little bit
因为我不会每天都在那 just 'cause, like, I'm not over there, like, everyday.
我开始和一些年轻的朋友玩滑板了 I started hanging out with, like, my younger skate friends again.
我注意到 他们的人生道路比我们好 I noticed, like, they were on a better path.
你学什么课程 [man] What classes are you taking?
图形卡技术或者叫图像设计 Graphic cards technology or graphic design.
- 听着像是文学学士 - 是的 [man] Sounds like a Gen. Ed. Of Liberal Arts. [Evan] Yes.
我一开始只是选一些普通的课程 [man] I'm just, I'm just gonna get something general at first, like,
看看我以后能找什么工作 and see what kind of jobs I can get.
你们都拿到了GED[美国高中毕业同等学历证书]吗 [Bing] You guys are getting your GED's?
嗯我有 Evan也有 他毕业了 Um, I have. Evan has his. He... he graduated and, like...
我不知道 我想证明别人是错的 I don't know, It's just, I can just prove people wrong.
哦 想起来了 老兄 我记起来我爸爸跟我讲的 Oh, yeah! Dude. I remembered something that my like, dad told me about um, being black.
作为黑人很酷 He said, like, being black is cool
因为你可以每天证明别人是错的 because you get to prove people wrong like, everyday.
你可以以自己的方式发声 Like, you sound the way that you sound, so, like, you don't...
你知道的 证明他们是错的 you know it's like, you just prove them wrong.
他们会为去定义你而感到羞愧 [stammers] There's like... they probably feel a little shitty for... for profiling you.
我可以想象那种感受 Like, I can only imagine, like feeling like that.
在四年中 我是我们班中 I was the only... the only white kid for, like four years,
唯一的白人 at least, in my class.
所以我需要学得很快 “哦 糟糕 我有麻烦了”的感觉 So, I had to learn real quick that like, "Oh, shit, I'm in trouble."
上完历史课 Like right away, people were mad at me for being white
他们都仇视我 after, like, first history class.
在现实生活中 你是白人 你不会遭遇这么多 In reality, you don't have like, as much say because you are white.
但是 我有教养 But [stammers] But I'm educated, though.
你有教养 因为你没有像他那样在高中期间遭遇那么多 You're educated 'cause you went through just as much as high school as him?
- 你有他知道得多吗 - 没有 - So you know more than him? -No.
即使那样 白人也没有黑人遭遇的那么多 Even though, your race didn't go through the same thing as his did.
白人的经历 不代表我的经历 'Cause my race went through it, doesn't mean I went through it.
你没有的劣势难道他也没有吗 [Evan] He doesn't have the same disadvantages everyday that you don't have?
没有一门 [man] There's a certain class of whites that's not...
“美国白人事事顺利”这种课程 "It's easy to be white in America."
但是如果你是白人垃圾 But then, if you're, like, trailer-trash white and shit,
在美国生活也不容易 then it's not easy to live in America. Like...
我却觉得很容易 I feel like it is easy, though.
你可以减掉头发 Like you still... like you can fuckin' just cut your hair
就可以找到工作 他们并不关心别的 and go and get a fucking job because they don't look at you, like...
但是如果你蠢的话就做不了那个活儿 [man] But when you're fucking stupid you can't do that.
但是如果你蠢的话就做不了那个活儿 But if you're stupid you can't do that.
当我更小的时候 [Keire] When I was younger,
我不明白我爸爸为什么总是谈论我们的肤色 I didn't really understand what my dad was talking about being black so much.
但是我记得 他说 如果可以选择 But I remember, he was like, if you could choose again,
还是选择当黑人 choose to... to be black.
当时我不理解 And at first, I didn't get it. I was, like,
“经历了那么多事 你为什么还想当黑人” "Why would you wanna be black when all that shit's happening to us?"
他解释说 But he explained it as like...
我们必须解决这些问题 Because we have to deal with these issues,
要把 it just makes...
连我的白人朋友也会抱怨的事情 other things that, like, my white friends would complain about,
变成不再困扰我的问题 like, not even be a problem to me.
我父亲的滑板场倒闭是因为滑板运动的衰落 [Joseph] My father's skatepark went under because of a downfall in skateboarding.
而我的倒闭则是因为我找了个糟糕的合作伙伴 Mine didn't succeed because I got hooked up with a bad partner.
有一天 他打电话给我说 嘿 我要去度假了 One day, he calls me and he's like, hey, I'm going to go on a vacation.
就再也没有这个人的音信了 I fucking never heard from the dude again.
完全没有 Never.
后来才发现 Come to find out...
这个家伙没有给我们的账单付一分钱 the guy had never paid any of our bills.
我们赚到的钱 他就自己留着 All the money we were making, everything, he just was keeping it.
我被耍得团团转 And that fucked me over.
我是说 我从来没有 I mean, I've... I've never...
我不觉得我在这之前有做过任何我想做的事情 I don't feel like I've done anything I've ever wanted to do with my life.
在这里 There it is.
这是五天限期的通知单 That's a five-day notice.
我不想来这里的 I try not to come over here.
就像Zack和Kyle不想来一样 Just like Zack and Kyle don't.
很明显 你想来这里吗 肯定不想吧 Clearly, I mean... Do you even want to be here? No.
为什么所有东西都坏了 [Bing] Why's all that shit broken?
- 什么 - 地板 - What? -The ground.
- 地板？ - 是的 这些都是什么 - The ground? -Yeah, what is all this?
屎 都是屎 老兄 Poop, it's all poop, dude.
好了 我们离开这个鬼地方 All right. Let's get out of this fucking place.
我感觉很久没见Zack了 [man] I feel like I never see Zack.
还记得我以前逃课 Remember when I used to like, skip school?
我就会说 “他也没完成学业” I was just like, "Oh, he didn't finish school."
记得吧 我会说 他过得也挺好 我也会挺好的 Remember, like, he's doing fine. I'll be fine.
是的 但是 我现在看着他们 就是想“操” Yeah, but, like, now, like, I see them now, I'm, like, "Fuck!"
我不知道 我觉得他们应该被断电了 I don't know, like, I don't think they have electricity right now.
- 嗯 那很... - 是的 我听说是的 - Like, that's gonna... -Yeah, that's what I heard.
很糟糕 That's fucked up.
我更小的时候 感觉所有人都能解决所有问题 [Keire] When I was younger, everybody just seemed like they had it all figured out.
这是我觉得自己最蠢的一件事 You know like... which was the dumbest thing that I could have ever told myself.
没有人能知道他们在做什么 Like, no one knows what the fuck they're doing, like...
[丹佛]
咻 Shwoop.
我们在拍什么呢 假装你不在这里的那种吗 What kind of filming are we doing? The kind where I pretend you are not there
还是另一种 or the other kind?
什么是另外一种
访谈那种 Where we talk the whole time. [Both laughing]
我不知道
你想怎样都可以
做真实的你就好
但你也不必假装我不在这里
好的 OK.
好的 我可以的 All right, I think I got it.
我并没有打算搬来这里 Oh, I didn't plan on moving here at all, like.
但是住在这里的一个女孩跟我联络 Like, this girl that lives out here hit me up.
她给我买了机票 还给我付了180块 She bought me a plane ticket. Got me, like $180 Uber
到密尔沃基机场的打车费用 to fucking the Milwaukee airport.
我就来了 Came out here.
我本来只是打算待两周的 I was originally gonna be out here for two weeks.
她就说 不行 你要和我在这里一起生活 And, like, she's like no, you are just gonna live with me now.
你知道的 我不挑 就答应了 You know, not picky. I was like, "All right."
我不知道 我在这里还不错 I don't know, fuck, I'm doing, like, pretty good out here, though.
我有工作 Like, I'm working.
我喝酒少了 不像以前那样经常 I've been like, drinking a lot less. And I'm definitely not like...
喝断片儿了 just fucking off as much.
操 Fucking...
你带着耳机 能听到我说话吗 Can you hear me, like, in your headphones right now?
- 是的 - 杯子里旳是酒 - Yeah. -There's liquor in this cup.
第五街 西边 -[Nina] So, west, fifth street. -[Seatbelt alarm beeping]
这是Walnut 我应该 This is Walnut, so I need to be going...
走那个方向 that way.
- 什么 - 妈妈 - What? -Momma.
- 宝贝 - 向右转 - Baby. -Take a right.
- 什么 - 向右转 - What? -Take a right.
Zack跟我讲他要去科罗拉多 Zack told me that he was going to Colorado, but, um...
他说他只是去几天而已 he said that he's only going like, for a couple of days.
然后他兴奋地打我电话我说 Then he wound up calling me while he was there, like,
“喔 我要留在这里” "Oh, I'm gonna stay here."
我的牙齿黄吗 [Zack] Are my teeth yellow?
当他稳定下来 他会想和Elliot在一起 When he does get stable, he's gonna wanna be with Elliot again.
他跟我讲 他想要一个家庭 And he's gonna wanna be a family becase that's what he tells me.
但是到头来 我得到的只是他的话语 [Nina] But then again, all I really have is his word,
我不知道是不是真的 这里边有太多问号了 which I don't even know if that's true because there's so many why's.
你知道我的意思吗 Do you know what I mean?
啊 我彻底喝醉了 [Zack] Oh, I'm drunk as fuck!
完美的夜晚 This is a perfect night.
很难定义Zack是什么样的人 [Keire] It's hard to get who Zack actually is
给人的印象是 他有很多个版本 because there's so many versions of him, that he might tell you about.
挺令人沮丧的 [Keire] It's frustrating. It's like...
你本应该是我的死党的 但是我却觉得根本不了解真正的你 You're supposed to be, like, my homie, but I feel like I don't know the real you.
啊 你把果汁洒在裤子上了 [Nina gasps] You spilled juice all over your pants.
没关系 It's OK.
哦 嗨 Elliot [aunt] Oh, hi, Elliot!
- 嘿 Nina - 嗨 - Hey, Nina. -Hi.
- 你看起来很可爱 - 嗯 - [aunt] You look cute. -Yeah.
我想要去法院的话 I figure that if I'm gonna go do this at the courthouse,
应该穿得像样点儿 I need to look presentable.
他需要知道后果 He needs to know that there's consequences,
不能有了孩子却抛弃他们 like, you can't just have a child and abandon them.
生活并不是那样的 他需要认清现实 Life doesn't work like that and he needs a reality check
我觉得我这样做是对的 and I feel like, you know, this is a good way to do that.
我来这里是想启动子女抚养费程序的 I'm here to try and start the process of child support.
你刚是说子女抚养费吗 [woman] You said, child support?
也许这也能让他更多的回来 [Nina] Maybe that'll also encourage him to wanna come around more.
如果他提供抚养费 那么他会想看孩子的 It's like, maybe if he's paying for him, he'll wanna see him.
但是 我也不知道 But, you know, like, I don't know.
我只是尽我所能而已 I'm just trying to do what I can, I guess.
我只是 我只是在玩耍 不要哭 [Keire] I'm just, I'm just playing. Don't start crying.
跳高高多好玩啊 Look how much fun jumping is, um,
你不需要... 妈 妈 when you don't have to cut... Mom, Mom.
- 他在说话 - 过来 Coco - He's making noises. -Come on, Coco.
过来 孩子 Come on, child.
所有人都爱奶奶 没有人爱叔叔 See, like, everyone loves grandma, no one likes their uncle.
你还和你的男朋友在一起吗 [Bing] Are you still with... Are you still with your boyfriend?
什么男朋友 What boyfriend?
我以为你之前有一个男朋友 I thought you had a boyfriend for a while.
不 他不是男朋友 他是个蠢朋友 No, he wasn't a boyfriend. He was a stupid friend.
没有了 他不在这里了 No, he's not around anymore.
谢天谢地 Thank goodness.
随着年龄的增长 我越来越觉得 [Keire] The older I get, the more I think about it.
我心里的一部分是爱我的家人的 I feel like there is a part of me that really loves my family.
好了 好了 冷静下来 All right, all right, calm down. Just ca...
我想是因为家人总会在那里 I guess, because family will, will, like, always be there but...
但是朋友却来来去去 but friends, kinda like come and go.
- 帮帮我 - 天哪 - Help me! -God!
- 怎么样 老兄 - 怎么样 Zack - Wassup, bro. -Wassup, Zack.
他就像婊子一样 一直喋喋不休 All he's done is bitch and moan for the last ten minutes.
- 怎么样 - 不错 - [Bing] How's it going? -Good.
欢迎回到伊利诺伊斯州
嗯 很高兴回家 I know, happy to be home. I'll tell you what...
- 我们开箱吧 - 庆祝一下 - Let's do this. -Observe.
我不怎么喜欢丹佛 [Zack] Denver wasn't really, like, my style.
我觉得那边很多人 I felt like a lot of the people that were down there,
都是富有的特权阶级 a lot of them were, like, privileged.
所以Sam 我现在的女朋友就和我一起飞回来了罗克福德 So, Sam, my current girlfriend flew me back out to Rockford.
我把Sam的名字纹在了我的手腕上 I have Sam's name tattooed on my wrist now.
你什么时候把Sam的名字纹上去的 [Bing] When did you get Sam's name tattooed on there?
- 时间还是原因？ - 呃 周六吗 - [Sam] When or why? -Uh, Saturday?
我不知道 I don't know.
你付钱的吗 [Bing] You paid for it.
- 她付钱的 - 我付钱的 - [Zack] She paid for it. -I paid for it.
你有没有担心过 [Bing] Do you feel, like, concerned
Elliot长大后 也是一团乱 that Elliot's gonna grow up like, messed up?
我有一半是担心的 [sighs] I'm 50-50 about it.
最近我有想过我对他造成的影响 Lately, I have been concerned over my influence on him.
当他长大一些 And, as he gets older,
他会知道他家的生活方式 how he's gonna look at the difference between
与我的生活方式 the way his family lives
的不同之处 and the way I live. And...
一些人成长过程中 就说 A lot of people grow up, and they're all...
“我要踢足球 我要上大学” "I'm gonna play football, and I'm gonna go to college,
“我要找一份办公室工作 建立一个家庭” and I'm gonna get this nice office job, and start a family,
“养2.5个孩子 买辆车 有个车库” and have two point five kids, and a car, and a garage,
"“一切都会好 会买只船 买辆雪上摩托” and everything's just gonna be nice, and I'll buy a boat, and a snowmobile."
操你妈的 你个狗屎 Like, fuck you, you piece of shit.
你只是太软弱而不能自己做决定 Like, just 'cause you're too fucking weak to make your own decisions
决定自己的人生真正想做的事 and decide what you wanna do with your own life.
并不意味着其他人也要像你一样 Doesn't mean everyone else is gotta be like you.
我不知道 操 I don't know, fuck.
好的 再问我一个问题 -All right, ask me another question. -[Man chuckles]
我想 我的情况是 [Bing] I guess, my thing was like, you know...
我成长过程中不知道我爸爸 I grew up without knowing my dad.
我五岁后就见过他三次 I saw him three times since I was five.
还有我继父以前经常打我和我妈妈 And, uh, my stepdad used to beat the shit out of me and my mom.
- 是的 - 所以 我不知道 - Right. -And, so, I don't know how I...
为什么选择了这种生活 why did I choose this life?
不是说 结婚和买房子这些 Not that I'm, like, gonna get married, and buy a house.
是别的 我不知道 But like, I don't know.
你想 你想让我评论你的方向？ You want, you want me to comment on your direction?
是的 [Bing] Yeah.
是存在区别的 [Zack] That's, that's the difference.
像你一样 一些人能把负面的经历 Like you... Some... some people do take their negative experiences
转化成有能量的正面的东西 and turn them into powerful, positive things.
我觉得我不是那种人 我觉得我... I just don't think I'm that type of person. I think I've...
我发现我抑郁的时候 I've found myself in a position where I was...
我就希望事情越糟越好 so depressed that I just, I wanted it to just get as bad as it could,
糟到可以让我死去那种 just bad as it could until I died.
- 会变糟的 - 别玩我的刀 - Could be worse. -[Sam] Don't play with my knife.
- 别玩我的刀 - 拿走吧 - Don't play with my knife. -Take it off.
别怂 Quit being a pussy.
♪我希望你重回我身边♪ ♪ I want you to be mine again Actually ♪
♪我知道我的生活方式把你逼疯了♪ ♪ I know my lifestyle Is driving you crazy ♪
酷 把我的头锯下来啊 别怂 Cool. Saw my fucking head off. Don't be a pussy.
- 不 - 哦 你个胆小鬼 - No. -Oh, you're such a wuss.
这个地方像是会侵蚀你一样 [Keire] It's like this place just like eats away at you.
我不知道 我不想和很多人一样 I don't know. I just don't wanna get trapped here and lockered
被困住和关在这里 like a lot of people have.
我试图把钱藏起来 I tried stashing away my money
但是我的哥哥还是会闯到我的房间把钱偷走 and then my fucking brother broke into my room and stole it.
如果我告诉我爸爸 我哥哥偷我钱的事情 If... if I ever to told my dad what my brother did to me,
他应该会正在打他吧 my dad would be like on his ass right now.
他会... 他很... 哦天哪 He'll like... He'd be so... Oh, my God!
我记得有一次 I... I remember, this one time...
我还小的时候 偷了东西 I think, I, like, stole something or something, I was like little.
12岁的时候 我偷了东西 Like, 12, maybe. I stole something.
那次是我遭遇过的最严厉的毒打 That was the worst ass whopping I've ever gotten.
从那以后我再也没偷过了 But it definitely made me never steal, like...
我有了意识... I was, like, yeah...
偷窃会得到最严厉的毒打 Stealing sucks because it gets your ass beat
就像你去烧桥 and, like, you burn bridges.
烧桥一点儿也不酷 And burning bridges isn't cool.
等我不那么痛了 Afterwards, after my ass stopped stinging,
他会过来道歉 he apologized for, like, beating me.
他会解释给我听 我就是这样被养大的 He totally just explained to me. It was just how he was raised.
我知道他爱我 所以才严厉要求我 I know that he loved me like, that's why he was so hard on me.
所以 你从这个纪录片中得到了什么吗 [Bing] So, what do you think that you've gotten out of this documentary?
嗯... Um...
就像是一次免费的疗程 It's almost like... fucking free therapy.
嗯 -[chuckles] -Yeah.
我做这个纪录片主要也是因为 I'm making this film because I was...
我继父经常打我 physically disciplined by my step father
我想不通 and it didn't make sense to me
我从你身上看到了我的故事 and I saw myself in your own story.
嗯 Hmm.
哇 Wow.
这... That's...
哇 刘冰 我不知道 老兄 Wow, Bing, I had no idea, dude.
但是很酷 You know, that's really cool, though.
哇 Wow.
我有一个奇怪的问题 [Bing] So, this might be a weird question,
你成长过程中 经常在Zack家玩 but you spent a lot of time in Zack's house growing up.
你觉得Zack会打女人吗 Do you think Zack is capable of hitting a woman?
嗯 Hmm.
也许他喝醉了 然后她打他 Maybe if he's drunk enough, and, like, she's, like, hitting him,
疯狂的打他之类的 like, fucking beating the shit out of him or something, maybe.
但是我不觉得Zack会... But I don't think Zack would ever just like...
会去殴打女人 我不认为他会那么做 like, just fucking strike a woman. Like, I don't think he'd ever do that.
你见过你的父母吵架吗
- 我继母和我爸爸？ - 是的 - My, my stepmom and my dad? Um... -Yeah.
是的 他们总是吵架 Yeah, I mean, all the time.
大部分时间都是因为我吵架 They fucking, most of the time they argued about me.
嗯... [chuckles] Uh...
还有一两次警察都来我们家了 Like once or twice the cops came to my house, but...
但是那是在我很小的时候 10岁或者12岁 that was when I was young, young, maybe, like, 10 or 12.
我知道我的意思吧 那是我还没到青少年的时候 You know what I mean that? Not... not as a teenager. It never got...
我不觉得他们有过肢体冲突 I don't think it ever got, like, real physical.
只是吵得很凶 I think just the fight got real gnarly.
操 我之前还叫过警察来处理Nina 我孩子的妈妈呢 I mean, shit, I've called the cops on fuckin' Nina, on my baby mama before.
有时候需要吵架来结束 Like, sometimes you just need the fight to stop.
Kyle录视频那晚是什么情况
哦 Oh.
我不知道你录下了那个视频 I don't know if you filmed the recording.
那真是... That was a pretty...
和以往的情况一样 Like every other day occurrence.
她彻底失控了 She just fuckin' loses her damn shit.
她没完没了 And she won't shut the fuck up
越来越过分 越来越过分 越来越过分... and it just keeps escalating and escalating and escalating and...
你知道的 我处理与女人关系的方式 You know, my deal with women, kinda the way I've dealt with it is,
她们无故发火生气 you know, they get all fuckin' heated and mad about shit
抱怨来抱怨去 or they're complaining about this...
我就会想算了吧 我走还不行吗 拜拜 I'm like all right, I'm leaving, bye!
但是如果一个女人 But if a fuckin' woman,
像个傻瓜一样 is acting a fucking fool,
像个泼妇 they're been acting a fool,
你叫她们停下 你想方设法离开那个地方 you've asked them to stop, you've tried to get away from the situation
你做了所有你能做的事情 避免情况恶化 and you've done everything that you can do, to avoid the situation peacefully,
但是她不依不饶 and she's coming to you,
就是要争吵和打架 wanting to argue and fight like
感觉她是个男人一样 要上前打你 she's a fuckin' man, like, she's ready to hurt you.
这... The...
啊... Ah...
你不能打女人 You can't beat up women.
但是一些婊子真的需要些教训 明白了吗 But some bitches need to get slapped sometimes, does that make sense?
你和他在一起 是因为他有时候对你很好 [Bing] You stayed with him because at times, he was sweet.
但是什么让你最终有勇气离开他呢 So what gave you the strength to finally leave him?
他越来越疯狂
十七年 [Bing's mother] Seventeen years.
我和他在一起17年
嗯... 但他都死了 Um... but then he died anyway.
即使那样 我还是需要面对
因为你被打了
你和我在一起也不开心
我不是怪你 和我在一起开不开心
但是我必须要这么做 But that's how I have deal with it.
我不喜欢那样 甚至现在 我也不知道怎么做 I don't like that, even now, I don't know what to do.
Zack和我为孩子抚养费问题上了法庭 [Nina] Zack and I went to court for child support.
那是我会这样想的那种时刻 And you know, it was like one of those moments
我会想 我的人生为什么要这样做呢 where I was just like, wow, like, what am I doing with my life.
哇 你太酷了 Wow, you're so cool!
你知道吗 我一方面想 [Zack] You know, on one hand of my brain, I'm like,
我不应该出现在孩子周围 因为我糟透了 you shouldn't be around your kid ever, like, you... you fucking suck.
另一方面 我不能接受 那是我的孩子 And on the other hand, I'm like no, that's my child.
父亲节快乐 [Keire] "Happy fathers' day.
我希望你们都花些时间陪父亲 I hope you all get to spend some time with your fathers.
我最后一次见我爸爸 我与他吵架 The last time I talked to my dad, I argued and fought with him.
"第二天我就搬走了 I moved out the next day."
上次我来这里 还是他的葬礼的时候 The, uh, the last time I came here, it was his funeral.
你不想想起这些 You don't wanna think about it.
如果你想起他 你会生气 对吧
没必要 我会发抖和焦虑 Not necessarily, I get... I feel, like, shaky and anxious.
我基本上不会太去想他 I don't... I don't really think about him that much.
如果你不想清楚
我不觉得这样会好
我没时间处理我自己的事情 I've never been able to deal with myself.
我很忙 Because I'm so busy.
我甚至不说服别人 我说服我自己 I'm not even convincing other people, I'm convincing myself
我是个好人或者...是个小丑 that I'm a good person or... I feel like a clown.
你知道吗 Almost, you know?
你画花脸 表演给所有人看 You paint up your face and you put on your act for everybody.
然后你在演戏 And you let that act become you.
我总是觉得我是别人的附属品 [Nina] I've always been something to someone, you know.
我是别人的女儿 别人的姐妹 别人重要他人 I was someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's significant other
和别人的妈妈 and then someone's mom.
我从没有机会弄清楚我自己是谁 [laughs] So it's like, I never got that chance to just, like, figure myself out.
我真希望 我能记住在哪里 I really wish, I could fucking just remember where it is.
也许会让这一天更美好一些 It's like, it would make this day a lot better for me...
我不想我的孩子... [Zack] I don't want my son...
我不想他长大后... I just don't want him to grow up...
像我一样失败 你懂吗 you know, like fucked up, like me, you know?
我没法细想原因 I can't let myself think that the reason
我需要挣扎着活着 因为我糟透了 I have to struggle so hard that's 'cause I fucking suck.
我不能... 这就是我喝酒的原因 I can't... You know, that's what the drinking is about.
这就是原因 That's what it's all about.
我想躲起来 我想逃离开 I just wanna hide, I just wanna run away.
我希望能让它结束
我只是不相信他那么坏
我感觉到压迫和绝望 [Zack] It's such a crushing, hopeless feeling.
我知道我就是我自己的敌人 这种感觉糟透了 It just sucks knowing that you're your own enemy.
你的每一次决定都使你现在的生活更加糟糕 That every decision you've ever made has culminated in how shitty your life is now.
无处可逃 And there's no escaping it.
我不知道... [Bing's mother] I don't know...
我尽量在帮你 I tried to help you.
如果你拍这部电影 能让你感觉好一些 那么可以
你不能改变过去
我拍这部电影的目的是... Well, the reason why I wanted to make this film was...
也许我... 也许你是对的 Maybe I'm... maybe you're right, maybe I'm...
我需要向前 而不是活在过去 I need to just move on and not dwell in the past
我希望你可以
只要我能让你感觉好点 那么可以
嘿 咔 Hey, cut.
哦 天哪 [Keire] Oh, my God.
对了 Fucking, yes!
我终于找到了 I fucking... I finally fucking found it.
我太高兴了 [whispering] I'm so fucking happy.
操 Fuck!
我们走吧 Let's... Let's go.
我有时候对滑板很生气 真的很生气 I get mad at skateboarding, like, a lot.
但是一天结束我又会爱上它 我不能一直生它的气 But at the end of the day I love it so much, I can't stay mad at it. [Laughs]
但它会弄伤你
是 我爸爸也一样 Yeah, so did my dad.
但我爱他直到死去 But I love him to death.
我终于要做了 I'm about to do this shit.
哦天哪 老兄 我要付诸行动了 [laughs] Oh, my God, dude, I'm gonna fuckin' do it.
你要做什么
搬去丹佛 [exhales] Moving to Denver.
我们不想Keire离开我们 对吧
你不能再等一个月吗 Can't you wait another month?
不行 [Keire laughs] No.
- 等天气变暖一点儿 - 不行 妈妈 - 'Til it get warm? -No, Mom.
再见 宝贝 See you later, baby.
刘冰 导演作品
-= CC-006 | 滑板少年 =- 翻译：微博 @帕拉多克斯paradox 微信公众号：CinephiliaCircle
歌曲："This Year"——The Mountain Goats
Nina和Elliot有了他们自己的公寓 她正努力成为一名高中辅导老师
Zack升职成了屋顶工的领班 他和Sam住在一起 继续支付孩子抚养费
Keire在丹佛找了一份工作 他还受到了Emage Skateshop和Satire Skateboards资助
刘冰的母亲再婚了 刘冰和Kent陪她走向新郎
Zack的爸爸和继母收养了Zack的狗 Cheese
♪在一个星期六的早晨 我打破了自由♪ ♪ I broke free on a Saturday morning ♪
♪我把踏板丢在地板上♪ ♪ I put the pedal to the floor ♪
♪一路向北 走去米尔斯大道♪ ♪ Headed north on Mills Avenue ♪
♪听发动机轰鸣阵阵♪ ♪ And listened to the engine roar ♪
- 看 我给你做了这个 - 谢谢 - Look, I made this for you! -Thanks!
♪我破烂的房子就在我身后♪ ♪ My broken house behind me ♪
♪别担心 好戏还在后头♪ ♪ And good things ahead ♪
♪一个叫Cathy的女生想占用我一点时间♪ ♪ A girl named Cathy Wants a little of my time ♪
♪引擎盖下有六个汽缸♪ ♪ Six cylinders underneath the hood ♪
♪我打算今年把它换掉♪ ♪ I am going to make it Through this year ♪
♪如果真的影响到我了♪ ♪ If it kills me ♪
♪我打算今年把它换掉♪ ♪ I am going to make it Through this year ♪
♪如果真的影响到我了♪ ♪ If it kills me ♪
♪我开车回家 穿行在加利福尼亚的黄昏中♪ ♪ I drove home in the California dusk ♪
♪我能感觉到我内心的麻醉♪ ♪ I could feel the alcohol Inside of me hum ♪
♪勾勒出我继父发火的模样♪ ♪ Pictured the look On my stepfather's face ♪
♪当我停在车道上时♪ ♪ As I pulled into the driveway ♪
♪引擎发出尖叫声卡在第二齿轮中了♪ ♪ The motor screaming out Stuck in second gear ♪
♪情况很糟糕 就如你想象的那样♪ ♪ The scene ends badly As you might imagine ♪
♪愤怒 恐惧袭来♪ ♪ In a cavalcade of anger and fear ♪
♪明年在耶路撒冷♪ ♪ In Jerusalem next year ♪
♪我打算今年把它换掉♪ ♪ I am going to make it Through this year ♪
♪如果真的影响到我了♪ ♪ If it kills me ♪
♪我打算今年把它换掉♪ ♪ I am going to make it Through this year ♪
♪如果真的影响到我了♪ ♪ If it kills me ♪
Cheese 过来孩子 过来 [woman] Cheese, come on boy, come on!
棒极了 Awesome!
操 Fuck!