1 00:01:01,307 --> 00:01:10,806 [[Synced By: Aboodi12]] Retail Spell Checked (My Own Rip) 2 00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,216 Morning, Gordon. 3 00:01:15,927 --> 00:01:17,133 Nice day, huh? 4 00:01:26,247 --> 00:01:29,296 Hurry up, Bucky. Jeez, slow poke. 5 00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:32,295 I'm going as fast as I can, Clint. No fooling. 6 00:01:32,447 --> 00:01:34,734 I see you're trying the Cool Ranch Doritos today. 7 00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:39,372 You spoke so highly of them, I figured I'd give them a whirl. 8 00:01:39,527 --> 00:01:42,531 They should be their own food group. No fooling, they're that good. 9 00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:44,815 Tell her your life story, why don't you? 10 00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:47,573 No, I was just commenting on the Doritos. 11 00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:48,967 Are you sassing me? 12 00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:50,573 No, no, he was just-- 13 00:01:50,727 --> 00:01:53,936 He don't need a lawyer, Mrs. Bozobop. 14 00:01:54,087 --> 00:01:56,328 Come on. Let's get on. 15 00:01:56,487 --> 00:02:00,173 The way we've been meaning to get on ever since you started bagging here. 16 00:02:04,247 --> 00:02:06,090 You hit me in the eye! 17 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,536 What? No, Clint, you hit yourself. I saw you. 18 00:02:10,687 --> 00:02:11,893 You've gone Ioony. 19 00:02:12,047 --> 00:02:14,015 You get out of here. You're fired. 20 00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:16,932 -Fired? -Yeah. Go on! 21 00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:25,655 I'm so sorry I got you in trouble, Bucky. 22 00:02:25,807 --> 00:02:28,651 I shouldn't have distracted you from your job. 23 00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:32,376 Mrs. Bozobop, this has nothing to do with you. 24 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,656 It is an honour to have you as my last bag. 25 00:02:37,047 --> 00:02:40,130 And I meant what I said about the Cool Ranch. They're so good.... 26 00:02:40,887 --> 00:02:42,730 Oh, listen to me, Bucky. 27 00:02:43,847 --> 00:02:46,453 Don't let these people get you down. 28 00:02:46,607 --> 00:02:48,974 I can feel it in my bones. 29 00:02:49,527 --> 00:02:51,848 You're destined for greatness. 30 00:03:06,247 --> 00:03:08,011 Oh, jeez, Bucky. 31 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:11,376 I haven't seen you this down since they cancelled Jericho. 32 00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:15,687 You know, that Clint guy is just a little off. 33 00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:20,289 I was repairing the soles of his loafers, and I'm not Lying... 34 00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:21,687 ...he's got six toes. 35 00:03:22,887 --> 00:03:25,333 -Now, get right out of town. -No joke. 36 00:03:25,487 --> 00:03:28,616 No. I saw the outline right there in the shoe. 37 00:03:29,647 --> 00:03:32,014 I think his dad was some sort of an amphibian. 38 00:03:37,287 --> 00:03:39,972 Jeremiah, shame on you! 39 00:03:40,127 --> 00:03:42,733 Pop, you had me going real good there. 40 00:03:44,327 --> 00:03:47,171 -He sure did. -See, you're feeling better already, hon. 41 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,738 I bet it's that new haircut. 42 00:03:48,887 --> 00:03:51,538 I've been getting a lot of compliments on it. Thanks, Mom. 43 00:03:51,687 --> 00:03:54,338 Oh, don't thank me. Thank the bowl. 44 00:03:54,487 --> 00:03:56,649 Mrs. Bozobop said I look like Brad Pitt. 45 00:03:56,807 --> 00:03:59,378 Yeah, you do look like kind of the Legends of the Fall... 46 00:03:59,527 --> 00:04:01,734 ...with the hair working there. 47 00:04:01,887 --> 00:04:04,015 What do you say we adjourn to the living room... 48 00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:06,329 -...and play some Yahtzee? -That's a good idea. 49 00:04:06,487 --> 00:04:07,977 Oh, actually.... 50 00:04:08,127 --> 00:04:10,858 Mom, I'm gonna go over to Dale's tonight. 51 00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:14,898 Okay, I just thought you loved the Yahtz. 52 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:17,288 I do. It's just Rory said they've got some movie... 53 00:04:17,447 --> 00:04:19,176 ...that will turn my frown upside down. 54 00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:22,730 Yeah, you know, it's good to have friends when times are tough. 55 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,696 I want you to wear your bright sneakers... 56 00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,656 ...so the cars can see you. 57 00:04:26,807 --> 00:04:29,048 Already on, Pop. 58 00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,171 Look at him dancing. Like a rapper. 59 00:04:53,607 --> 00:04:55,689 Here he comes. We gotta cheer him up. 60 00:04:55,847 --> 00:04:58,327 -Hi, Buck. -Hey, what's the word, Big Bird? 61 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:01,056 Hey, Dale, what is that, a robot head? 62 00:05:01,207 --> 00:05:02,538 I wish. 63 00:05:02,687 --> 00:05:05,896 It's my parents' old projector. We used to watch home movies on it. 64 00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:10,018 But tonight, we're gonna use it to watch nude movies. 65 00:05:11,487 --> 00:05:13,535 -Nude? -A skin-filmer. 66 00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,611 One of those movies you can play with your business to. 67 00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:19,213 Play with your busi.... Business what? 68 00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:20,607 Don't you twang your wang? 69 00:05:21,047 --> 00:05:24,176 If that means washing my ween, then yeah, it's an every-dayer. 70 00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:27,690 You know, "Up, down, all around, do it again if I see some brown." 71 00:05:29,567 --> 00:05:31,331 No, it means rubbing your skin flute... 72 00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:35,048 ...after it gets stiff from seeing a pair of love balloons. 73 00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:38,737 Nope. Can't say I've done that. 74 00:05:38,887 --> 00:05:41,254 -You are fibbing! -No way! 75 00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:44,411 Jeez, Bucky, I build my day around the whack. 76 00:05:44,567 --> 00:05:47,298 I get in a breakfast flapjack, a nooner... 77 00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:51,338 ...an after-lunch, pre-nap slap, a post-work, traffic-jam slam... 78 00:05:51,487 --> 00:05:54,138 ...a pre-dinner spinner, an after-dinner dink... 79 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,527 ...a dog-walk leash-pull... 80 00:05:55,687 --> 00:05:58,258 ...and then I round it out with a midnight snack-whack... 81 00:05:58,407 --> 00:05:59,852 ...if my folks are asleep. 82 00:06:00,007 --> 00:06:01,850 Sometimes I do it at the dinner table. 83 00:06:02,007 --> 00:06:04,931 I'm not gonna lie, Bucky. I've been choking the bald man... 84 00:06:05,087 --> 00:06:08,011 ...the whole time Lars was telling you his pud-pulling schedule. 85 00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,415 Pocket patty-cake! 86 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:15,538 Jeez. You guys spend a lot of time on this. 87 00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:16,768 Is it really that fun? 88 00:06:16,927 --> 00:06:18,497 Better than "Donkey Kong." 89 00:06:18,647 --> 00:06:20,251 Now, get right out of town. 90 00:06:23,487 --> 00:06:24,488 Okay. 91 00:06:24,647 --> 00:06:26,888 So how do you do it, this.... What is it, whacking? 92 00:06:27,047 --> 00:06:29,778 It's a breeze. We'll walk you through it, step by step. 93 00:06:29,927 --> 00:06:32,498 We'll even kill the lights, So you can have your privacy. 94 00:06:32,647 --> 00:06:35,571 But you know what? We'll put on the old Billy Squier black light... 95 00:06:35,727 --> 00:06:37,138 ...so you can see your business. 96 00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:41,773 Jeez, guys, thanks a lot for helping me out here. 97 00:06:41,927 --> 00:06:44,976 Hey, we wouldn't be your friends if we didn't. 98 00:06:45,127 --> 00:06:47,812 Now, jump in the big bean. 99 00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:49,128 All right. 100 00:06:57,447 --> 00:07:00,417 Now you're gonna see some sexy stuff in the movie. 101 00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:03,650 Stuff that's gonna inflate your fun-tool. 102 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,169 Like hot-buttered yaboes. 103 00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,295 I got a feeling this is gonna be a doozy. 104 00:07:09,447 --> 00:07:11,529 So pop a button and go ankles on your trousers. 105 00:07:11,687 --> 00:07:13,416 You're gonna wanna be ready, Bucky. 106 00:07:16,927 --> 00:07:18,133 We should put down a tarp. 107 00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:20,335 Could be a flood when he blows. 108 00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:23,049 Just finished baling the hay. 109 00:07:23,207 --> 00:07:25,369 Need me to put the pitchfork anywhere else? 110 00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:27,052 How's it going up there, Bucky? 111 00:07:27,207 --> 00:07:29,608 Not sure. I'm catching some air off my wrinkle-bag. 112 00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:32,498 -Is that what we're looking for? -One hundred percent, Bucky. 113 00:07:32,647 --> 00:07:34,729 That's called liftoff. 114 00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,651 Okay. 115 00:07:38,447 --> 00:07:41,496 Bucky, grab your joystick. The game's about to begin. 116 00:07:41,647 --> 00:07:44,412 -Okay, one hand or two? -No, just the one. 117 00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:45,807 Keep your other hand free... 118 00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:47,776 ...in case you wanna tap on your dirt button. 119 00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:49,577 Okay. 120 00:07:49,727 --> 00:07:52,298 Forget your dirt button! Just ice-pick it, Bucky! 121 00:07:52,447 --> 00:07:54,097 Grab at it and really go to town! 122 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:02,373 Up and down, like a pogo stick! 123 00:08:03,887 --> 00:08:06,538 Am I doing It now? Am I a whacker? 124 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,291 You're a whacking machine! 125 00:08:11,687 --> 00:08:13,610 Is that who I think it is? 126 00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:16,176 How does that feel? 127 00:08:16,327 --> 00:08:18,250 You know, that's got a real kick to it, hon. 128 00:08:18,407 --> 00:08:20,375 Just like a donkey. 129 00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:26,374 That's your folks. 130 00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:27,972 One hundred percent. 131 00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:29,617 By golly. 132 00:08:29,767 --> 00:08:31,132 Oh, my! 133 00:08:31,287 --> 00:08:33,449 Jeez, that's weird. 134 00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:41,613 That's my folks. 135 00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:44,338 On the big screen. 136 00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:47,058 I think that's pretty dang cool, Bucky. 137 00:08:51,727 --> 00:08:52,728 Hi, Buck. 138 00:08:52,887 --> 00:08:54,935 I knew you couldn't resist the Yahtzee. 139 00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:58,091 So you finished the movie already? 140 00:09:01,447 --> 00:09:03,529 I bet acting is fun. 141 00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:09,938 But it's gotta be weird having a camera pointed at you... 142 00:09:10,087 --> 00:09:11,930 ...don't you think, Pop? 143 00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:15,095 Probably not that weird. 144 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,616 I bet you couldn't do it. 145 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,337 Oh, I bet you I could. 146 00:09:21,047 --> 00:09:22,458 I bet you couldn't... 147 00:09:22,607 --> 00:09:24,097 ...if you're nude! 148 00:09:24,967 --> 00:09:27,971 Jim Spraysium and Rosie Bush! 149 00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:34,570 How'd you know about that? 150 00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:36,411 I saw it. 151 00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,888 I didn't even know you were a farmer, Pop. 152 00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:42,893 We were gonna tell you on your 50th birthday... 153 00:09:43,047 --> 00:09:45,288 ...but I guess you stumbled on it early. 154 00:09:45,447 --> 00:09:47,449 -You made all of these? -Sure did. 155 00:09:47,607 --> 00:09:51,134 -Eighty-six, to be exact. -Jeez. I mean.... 156 00:09:51,287 --> 00:09:52,777 How the heck did you get into it? 157 00:09:53,447 --> 00:09:54,494 Well... 158 00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:57,776 ...one day, your mother says, "I wanna see the ocean." 159 00:09:57,927 --> 00:10:02,615 Sol rented a van and, well, we went out there to California. 160 00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:05,088 Anyway, we're taking a walk on the beach. 161 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,297 So we threw down a beach towel... 162 00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:10,178 ...and we start a pretty mean session of kissy-face. 163 00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:13,891 And then, out of nowhere, an older gentleman comes up... 164 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,288 ...and says we look good smooching. 165 00:10:16,447 --> 00:10:19,018 And he said he made movies about people doing the stuff... 166 00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,817 -...that we were doing. -Yeah... 167 00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:24,414 ...and he said that we had a natural look and technique. 168 00:10:24,567 --> 00:10:26,410 He said it was our destiny. 169 00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:31,691 When someone says it's your destiny, you listen up. 170 00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:36,735 Old Mrs. Bozobop said I had a destiny earlier. 171 00:10:37,607 --> 00:10:40,975 Well, sure you do. Everybody does, Bucky. 172 00:10:41,127 --> 00:10:42,253 Yeah, but this is it. 173 00:10:43,407 --> 00:10:44,932 What's it? 174 00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:47,089 This is why I was fired. 175 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,533 This is my destiny. 176 00:10:48,687 --> 00:10:50,530 I was born to be a star. 177 00:10:50,887 --> 00:10:53,493 Oh, I don't know about that, Bucky. 178 00:10:53,647 --> 00:10:55,968 I mean, it's not an easy life. 179 00:10:56,127 --> 00:10:59,529 It's filled with long days and lots of chafing. 180 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:02,488 I ain't afraid of chafing. I ain't afraid of nothing. 181 00:11:02,647 --> 00:11:05,935 I'm gonna go to California and I'm gonna be a star on the silver screen. 182 00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:07,612 I'm the son of two movie stars. 183 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:11,772 That's like a super-duper movie star. 184 00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:15,091 -Buck! -No. Let him go, dear. 185 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:23,090 I love you so much. I'm gonna call you right when I get there, I promise. 186 00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:24,692 -You better. -All right. 187 00:11:24,847 --> 00:11:26,258 -All right, son. - Bye. 188 00:11:29,287 --> 00:11:31,415 There goes our boy, Jeremiah. 189 00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:32,807 Give them heck, son! 190 00:11:50,047 --> 00:11:52,049 No way. 191 00:11:53,287 --> 00:11:55,051 Pop. 192 00:12:23,047 --> 00:12:25,095 -Take care. -Be safe, Bucky. 193 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:28,856 Bye, Piggies. 194 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:13,568 Hey, how are you? 195 00:13:16,047 --> 00:13:17,537 We don't sell kiddie porn, man. 196 00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:19,935 Oh, I'm allergic to cats. 197 00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:26,257 Self-service, pal. Don't see what you want, just do some laps... 198 00:13:26,407 --> 00:13:30,093 -...until something gives you a boner. -No, I don't wanna buy a movie. 199 00:13:30,247 --> 00:13:33,376 I wanna be in one. Let's go. 200 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,294 We just sell the porn. 201 00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,973 If you wanna make it, you have to go to the Valley. 202 00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:39,538 No way. 203 00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:41,451 Is that far? 204 00:13:41,607 --> 00:13:44,497 We just-- The bus went through a valley in Colorado. Was that it? 205 00:13:44,647 --> 00:13:46,456 -Did I miss it? -No. 206 00:13:46,607 --> 00:13:48,450 Just go over the hill. 207 00:13:48,607 --> 00:13:49,893 Take Laurel Canyon. 208 00:13:50,047 --> 00:13:51,492 All right, good. Thanks. 209 00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:52,978 How are you doing? 210 00:13:53,127 --> 00:13:54,731 All right. It's hot out. 211 00:13:55,287 --> 00:13:57,608 Fart in my mouth! Fart in my mouth! 212 00:13:57,767 --> 00:14:01,294 Fart in my mouth! Fart in my mouth! 213 00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:04,657 Hi, how are you? 214 00:14:05,687 --> 00:14:09,772 Yeah, good day. Yeah, good day to you. All right. 215 00:14:11,687 --> 00:14:12,973 Hi, all right. 216 00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:46,256 Hey, what's your soup today? 217 00:14:47,727 --> 00:14:50,651 Split pea with rice and broccoli. 218 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,969 That sounds good. I'll have a bowl of that. 219 00:14:54,047 --> 00:14:55,458 And some braces? 220 00:14:56,007 --> 00:14:59,932 And maybe a haircut? And a new shirt? God. 221 00:15:00,647 --> 00:15:02,058 Kathy, I'm going on break. 222 00:15:02,207 --> 00:15:04,892 Bring a bowl of soup to Bugs Bunny at the counter. 223 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,768 Marge, you just went on break. 224 00:15:11,527 --> 00:15:13,928 I'll get that soup over to you right away. 225 00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:20,618 My name's Kathy, by the way... 226 00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:23,134 ...so if you need anything, just holler. 227 00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:27,614 Okay. I'm Hucky. Boiler at me if you need spazzing. 228 00:15:28,847 --> 00:15:30,212 Okay. 229 00:15:39,847 --> 00:15:41,451 I need you to clean up the bathrooms. 230 00:15:42,087 --> 00:15:44,169 Oh, it's Marge's night to clean the bathrooms. 231 00:15:44,327 --> 00:15:45,374 Marge had to leave sick. 232 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:46,972 Why are you being so difficult? 233 00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:48,492 Marge has a hard life. 234 00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,529 Marge has got hairy ears just like a tarantula. 235 00:15:51,687 --> 00:15:53,257 And she's ugly as shit. 236 00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:56,013 Show some compassion, would you? 237 00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:57,976 Okay. 238 00:16:00,007 --> 00:16:02,374 I didn't know we had rats over here. 239 00:16:04,887 --> 00:16:08,175 Do you want me to clean the bathrooms for you? I can. 240 00:16:08,327 --> 00:16:10,853 No, it's sweet of you to offer, but I can do it. 241 00:16:11,807 --> 00:16:13,696 All right. Let me know. 242 00:16:14,127 --> 00:16:15,538 I love that accent. 243 00:16:15,687 --> 00:16:19,089 -Are you from the Midwest? -Yeah! Iowa. 244 00:16:19,247 --> 00:16:21,249 Good guess. 245 00:16:21,807 --> 00:16:23,047 Are you here on vacation... 246 00:16:23,207 --> 00:16:25,289 ...or did you come here to become a movie star? 247 00:16:25,447 --> 00:16:27,017 A movie star. 248 00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:28,453 Do you have mind powers? 249 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:32,929 No, just root-beer-float powers. 250 00:16:38,887 --> 00:16:40,048 Hey 251 00:16:41,287 --> 00:16:43,608 -I have a question. -Okay. 252 00:16:44,327 --> 00:16:46,091 Are there any stars here? 253 00:16:46,247 --> 00:16:48,978 Because it says "Tony's Famous Diner" on the sign... 254 00:16:49,127 --> 00:16:51,733 ...but I haven't recognised anyone. 255 00:16:52,847 --> 00:16:55,168 Yeah. Play it cool. 256 00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:57,610 I'm not supposed to say this... 257 00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:00,168 ...but the guy behind you, on your left... 258 00:17:01,447 --> 00:17:03,688 ...was Chewbacca in Star Wars. 259 00:17:03,847 --> 00:17:06,976 -What? He was Chewbacca? -Yes. 260 00:17:07,207 --> 00:17:09,289 I love Star Wars. 261 00:17:09,687 --> 00:17:12,167 -On my left? -Yeah. 262 00:17:27,287 --> 00:17:30,097 Oh, my God. He looks just like him. 263 00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:18,255 Midwest, what are you doing in there? 264 00:18:18,407 --> 00:18:21,570 Munching on this chocolate Frisbee, doing some Mad Libs. 265 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,297 I see that. 266 00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:25,609 Why are you doing it in the bushes? 267 00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:28,008 I actually thought I'd setup camp in here tonight. 268 00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:29,373 It's actually kind of warm. 269 00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,134 You don't have any place to stay? 270 00:18:33,287 --> 00:18:36,336 No. I just got to town, so I don't really know anybody yet. 271 00:18:36,487 --> 00:18:39,696 But it's fine. I was a Cub Scout, so I can make do. 272 00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:42,770 Bucky, get out of the bushes. 273 00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:45,134 Come on, it's not a nice neighbourhood. 274 00:18:46,087 --> 00:18:49,296 There's a guy at my apartment building who's been looking for a roommate. 275 00:18:49,447 --> 00:18:51,415 Let's go see if the room's still available. 276 00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:55,333 And, you know, if not, we've got much nicer bushes. 277 00:18:55,487 --> 00:18:57,296 All right, sounds like a plan. 278 00:18:58,527 --> 00:19:00,211 So you live here your whole life? 279 00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:03,769 No, I grew up in New Jersey. I moved here after high school. 280 00:19:03,927 --> 00:19:05,338 You went to high school? 281 00:19:05,487 --> 00:19:09,014 -Yeah, you didn't go? -No, my town didn't have one. 282 00:19:10,487 --> 00:19:13,889 So, what kind of movies you wanna do? Comedy, drama? 283 00:19:14,047 --> 00:19:15,378 Nude. 284 00:19:15,927 --> 00:19:17,611 So comedy. 285 00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,176 No, full-on nude. My folks did it. 286 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,738 Cross my heart. 287 00:19:22,487 --> 00:19:24,569 Well, that's awesome. Awesome. 288 00:19:24,727 --> 00:19:25,933 -Thanks. -Here we are. 289 00:19:26,087 --> 00:19:27,532 Home, sweet home. 290 00:19:27,687 --> 00:19:29,257 Your bushes are super nice. 291 00:19:29,407 --> 00:19:30,897 Yeah, they're nice. 292 00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:34,210 I hope he's still awake. It is kind of late. 293 00:19:37,687 --> 00:19:39,689 Hey, Gary, I'm sorry to bother you. 294 00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,929 I wanted to see if you have that room for rent. 295 00:19:42,087 --> 00:19:43,498 So are we gonna do this or not? 296 00:19:44,207 --> 00:19:45,697 Yeah. Yeah. 297 00:19:45,847 --> 00:19:49,454 Well, you can tell him that Gary said to eat my shit. 298 00:19:49,847 --> 00:19:51,212 Yeah, totally. 299 00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:53,131 You wanna move your stuff in tonight? 300 00:19:53,287 --> 00:19:54,891 No. No, it's not for me. 301 00:19:55,047 --> 00:19:57,448 It's for my friend Bucky here. I'm still up In 44. 302 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,176 How are you doing? Bucky Larson. 303 00:20:00,327 --> 00:20:01,613 What line of work are you in? 304 00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,929 I'm here to be a movie star. 305 00:20:04,087 --> 00:20:07,455 My last roommate came here to be a rock star then skipped town, that fuck. 306 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,132 Owes me three months rent. 307 00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:11,051 Fuck you, John Mayer. 308 00:20:11,207 --> 00:20:13,938 Wait, no. I got the dough. I'm good for it. 309 00:20:15,727 --> 00:20:19,174 -Can you excuse us for a minute? -Yeah, sure. 310 00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:22,174 And don't leave. I'd like to say goodbye. 311 00:20:22,727 --> 00:20:24,331 Okay. 312 00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,369 Look, I don't know you and I don't know Kathy. 313 00:20:29,527 --> 00:20:31,655 I've seen her in the laundry room a few times... 314 00:20:31,807 --> 00:20:34,378 ...but that doesn't mean I trust her. I trust her tits. 315 00:20:35,447 --> 00:20:36,937 Okay. 316 00:20:37,247 --> 00:20:39,898 I'm gonna let you have the room because I know you got cash. 317 00:20:40,047 --> 00:20:43,210 And I know I could pound those woodcutters down your throat. 318 00:20:44,127 --> 00:20:45,731 Why are you being weird about that? 319 00:20:45,887 --> 00:20:48,652 -I'm not. It's fine. Whatever you want. -Yeah, no fucking shit. 320 00:20:49,927 --> 00:20:51,770 You can have the bathroom off the hallway. 321 00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:54,373 Don't use the one in my room. That's my sanctuary. 322 00:20:54,527 --> 00:20:56,894 -Roommates? -Yeah, roommates. 323 00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:02,373 -Good. -Great seeing you again, Kathy... 324 00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:05,451 ...and if you ever wanna hang out by the pool, let me know. 325 00:21:05,607 --> 00:21:07,052 Okay. 326 00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:10,212 -Good night, Bucky. -Good night, Kathy. 327 00:21:37,607 --> 00:21:39,132 All right. 328 00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:57,093 I could do this all day, bird... 329 00:21:57,247 --> 00:21:59,648 ...but I gotta go and take this town by the antlers. 330 00:22:04,327 --> 00:22:05,613 What the fuck? 331 00:22:05,767 --> 00:22:07,690 -I'm sorry. -Shut the door! 332 00:22:07,847 --> 00:22:09,417 You said this was my bathroom. 333 00:22:09,567 --> 00:22:10,978 It is! But I shit here! 334 00:22:11,127 --> 00:22:13,368 I can't shit where I shower! Shut the fucking door! 335 00:22:13,527 --> 00:22:14,972 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 336 00:22:15,127 --> 00:22:17,448 You better not be a psycho! 337 00:22:20,327 --> 00:22:23,058 Sorry. We got a new intern out here at our office. 338 00:22:29,287 --> 00:22:30,732 Bucky. 339 00:22:30,887 --> 00:22:33,697 Why are you brushing your teeth in the pool? 340 00:22:34,927 --> 00:22:36,497 There's a problem with my bathroom. 341 00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:38,649 There's gonna be a problem in your stomach... 342 00:22:38,807 --> 00:22:40,889 ...if you keep using that water. 343 00:22:47,207 --> 00:22:49,448 -Thanks for the warning. -Yeah. 344 00:22:50,287 --> 00:22:52,813 I'm off to work. Good luck being nude today. 345 00:22:52,967 --> 00:22:54,571 Okay. Say hi to Chewbacca. 346 00:22:54,727 --> 00:22:56,729 Okay. 347 00:23:02,887 --> 00:23:05,891 Free snake? No, thanks. 348 00:23:09,007 --> 00:23:12,807 "Actors wanted. Open call audition." 349 00:23:18,127 --> 00:23:19,208 Bucky Larson. 350 00:23:29,527 --> 00:23:31,814 This is Bucky Larson. 351 00:23:34,767 --> 00:23:36,576 Do you have a headshot? 352 00:23:38,247 --> 00:23:39,851 Like a shot of my head or what? 353 00:23:40,567 --> 00:23:42,456 Yeah. 354 00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:45,930 Yeah, wait. 355 00:23:48,007 --> 00:23:49,293 I got a picture here of me. 356 00:23:49,447 --> 00:23:52,371 That's me on the left. You can just fold it and get the head part. 357 00:23:53,727 --> 00:23:55,217 Your accent's awesome, man. 358 00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:57,654 I like the Midwest choice. And that vest is amazing. 359 00:23:57,807 --> 00:23:59,650 Oh, thanks. My mom made it for me. 360 00:24:02,647 --> 00:24:04,331 This isn't a proper headshot. 361 00:24:04,487 --> 00:24:07,297 Who cares? Come on, this guy's great. 362 00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:08,608 Don't be such a buzz-kill. 363 00:24:08,767 --> 00:24:10,849 Are you familiar with Redondi Mac and Cheese? 364 00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:12,611 Oh, Yeah. That's my favourite. 365 00:24:12,767 --> 00:24:15,054 My mom makes it every Tuesday for Boggle night. 366 00:24:15,207 --> 00:24:16,288 I love your slogan. 367 00:24:16,447 --> 00:24:18,495 Eat Redondi Fill your belly 368 00:24:18,647 --> 00:24:20,251 Monday through Sunday 369 00:24:20,407 --> 00:24:23,968 That's perfect. My name is Claudio and I'll be directing this commercial. 370 00:24:24,127 --> 00:24:25,367 We're gonna put you on tape. 371 00:24:25,527 --> 00:24:27,928 -Did you get to peep the script? -Peep? 372 00:24:30,047 --> 00:24:31,128 Peep? 373 00:24:31,287 --> 00:24:33,733 Screw it. We'll do a cold read. You're a pro. 374 00:24:35,047 --> 00:24:36,173 Owen, press record. 375 00:24:36,967 --> 00:24:38,378 And Bucky, go for it. 376 00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:40,211 Okay. 377 00:24:44,087 --> 00:24:46,533 -Holy shit! -Fuck, man, what are you doing? 378 00:24:46,687 --> 00:24:48,212 No, no, no! 379 00:24:48,367 --> 00:24:49,448 Did I whack it right? 380 00:24:49,607 --> 00:24:51,609 -Stop the camera! Stop it! -Oh, my God. 381 00:24:51,767 --> 00:24:53,417 Oh, my God, he's going for his butt! 382 00:24:56,167 --> 00:24:58,568 -Get out of here, you pervert! -Get the fuck out! 383 00:24:58,727 --> 00:25:00,491 Did I get the part? 384 00:25:06,327 --> 00:25:07,692 Hey. 385 00:25:07,847 --> 00:25:11,010 Hey, man. Pull your pants up. 386 00:25:11,167 --> 00:25:12,817 What the fuck is your problem? 387 00:25:12,967 --> 00:25:16,130 I don't know. I was doing what the guys in the neighbourhood told me to. 388 00:25:16,287 --> 00:25:18,415 So this is a dare, some YouTube bullshit? 389 00:25:18,567 --> 00:25:21,411 No. I wanna be a movie star, like my folks. 390 00:25:21,567 --> 00:25:23,569 They were on camera and they were nude. 391 00:25:23,727 --> 00:25:25,650 And they helped people. 392 00:25:25,807 --> 00:25:29,368 -Who the hell were your parents? -Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium. 393 00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,211 The porn stars from the '70s? 394 00:25:31,367 --> 00:25:33,415 -Are you serious? -Yeah, for sure. 395 00:25:33,567 --> 00:25:35,331 Look at the picture. 396 00:25:35,927 --> 00:25:37,452 Holy shit, that is them. 397 00:25:38,487 --> 00:25:39,534 Rosie Bush. 398 00:25:39,687 --> 00:25:41,928 Damn, her bush sure was rosy. 399 00:25:42,087 --> 00:25:44,533 That explains it, how you got that thick Midwest accent. 400 00:25:44,687 --> 00:25:46,052 I don't have an accent. 401 00:25:47,767 --> 00:25:50,054 So you seriously wanna do porn? 402 00:25:50,207 --> 00:25:52,972 You can't whip your dick out at mac-and-cheese commercials. 403 00:25:53,127 --> 00:25:54,652 You'll go to jail. 404 00:25:54,807 --> 00:25:55,968 I don't wanna go to jail. 405 00:25:58,207 --> 00:26:00,494 When I started out, I used to direct some porno. 406 00:26:00,647 --> 00:26:03,218 A lot of directors do it. There's nothing weird about it. 407 00:26:03,367 --> 00:26:05,608 My boy Dick Shadow's having a house party tonight. 408 00:26:05,767 --> 00:26:07,769 You can make a lot of connections there. 409 00:26:07,927 --> 00:26:09,929 People will trip meeting the son of Rosie and Jim. 410 00:26:10,087 --> 00:26:12,488 -A trip out? -Do you wanna roll with me? 411 00:26:12,647 --> 00:26:14,411 Yeah, I'll roll with you. 412 00:26:14,647 --> 00:26:16,331 Actually, I'm glad you wanna do porn. 413 00:26:16,487 --> 00:26:19,172 At first, I thought you had some weird mac-and-cheese fetish. 414 00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:21,853 No, I don't use fetish cheese. I use Velveeta. 415 00:26:23,687 --> 00:26:26,816 Oh, you can't go this way. They probably called the cops. 416 00:26:30,247 --> 00:26:32,136 I've never ridden in a convertible before. 417 00:26:32,287 --> 00:26:34,688 This is something else. 418 00:26:34,847 --> 00:26:37,771 Get the full experience, man. Stand up, feel the breeze. 419 00:26:38,447 --> 00:26:40,927 -Are you serious? -Yeah, buddy. 420 00:26:53,767 --> 00:26:57,488 Holy cow! That was wild, man. 421 00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:03,331 Bucky, I think you've got bugs in your teeth. 422 00:27:03,487 --> 00:27:05,057 -No. -You wanna scrape those off... 423 00:27:05,207 --> 00:27:08,256 -...before you get to the party. -Oh, it's still moving! 424 00:27:10,927 --> 00:27:14,568 This is the joint, Bucky, the hardest, horniest party in town. 425 00:27:14,727 --> 00:27:17,458 If you wanna be in the porn world, you got to know the Shadow. 426 00:27:17,607 --> 00:27:19,177 Shadows are so mysterious. 427 00:27:19,327 --> 00:27:20,533 What's up, Ricky? 428 00:27:20,687 --> 00:27:23,054 -What's up, guys? -Where are you going, crackhead? 429 00:27:23,207 --> 00:27:25,448 Yo, guys, he's cool. He's with me. 430 00:27:27,487 --> 00:27:29,330 Your hands are like a bear trap. 431 00:27:29,487 --> 00:27:31,694 -Any cameras or weapons? -No, I don't-- 432 00:27:31,847 --> 00:27:33,133 Cool. Don't bite anybody. 433 00:27:35,887 --> 00:27:38,572 Hi, how are you? Good to see you. 434 00:27:38,767 --> 00:27:41,737 -Claudio. - Hey 435 00:27:44,447 --> 00:27:46,688 Hey, guys. How are you? Having fun? 436 00:27:51,327 --> 00:27:52,408 Sushi? 437 00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:55,855 "Sushi"? Is that with an "S"? 438 00:27:56,007 --> 00:27:58,931 Sushi. All right. 439 00:27:59,087 --> 00:28:01,135 Oh, it smells like-- 440 00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,249 Do you want some sushi? 441 00:28:33,607 --> 00:28:36,929 No, thank you! No, thank you! 442 00:28:41,687 --> 00:28:44,657 So, Dick Shadow. Is that a family name? 443 00:28:45,287 --> 00:28:47,130 Because it sounds like a superhero. 444 00:28:49,447 --> 00:28:52,257 Well, in many ways, I am a superhero. 445 00:28:53,727 --> 00:28:55,968 Yeah, when I was a boy... 446 00:28:56,127 --> 00:28:58,573 ...I was 12 or so, I was playing out in the fields. 447 00:29:00,247 --> 00:29:02,978 The sun was so bright that day. 448 00:29:04,487 --> 00:29:07,058 I was wearing these baggy shorts. 449 00:29:07,207 --> 00:29:08,777 A bee flew up my trousers. 450 00:29:08,927 --> 00:29:10,691 Oh, my God. 451 00:29:10,847 --> 00:29:11,848 Yeah. 452 00:29:12,007 --> 00:29:13,611 Sol panicked, right? 453 00:29:13,767 --> 00:29:16,008 I took off my shorts as fast as I could. 454 00:29:16,407 --> 00:29:18,409 I stood there naked from the waist down. 455 00:29:19,127 --> 00:29:20,413 Well, where did the bee go? 456 00:29:21,287 --> 00:29:23,051 Doesn't matter. He flew away. 457 00:29:23,207 --> 00:29:25,255 But as I stood there... 458 00:29:25,407 --> 00:29:29,492 ...the wind blowing and the sun beating down on my manhood... 459 00:29:30,287 --> 00:29:33,211 ...I saw a shadow before me. 460 00:29:34,687 --> 00:29:36,337 It was gigantic. 461 00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:40,894 Then I looked over to the neighbourhood girls. 462 00:29:41,047 --> 00:29:42,776 And their mothers. 463 00:29:42,927 --> 00:29:45,407 And they were standing there in awe of my shadow. 464 00:29:46,607 --> 00:29:49,417 And that's when Randy Dooley died... 465 00:29:49,607 --> 00:29:52,178 ...and Dick Shadow was born. 466 00:29:53,207 --> 00:29:55,972 Nothing grows in my cock shade. 467 00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:57,288 Nothing. 468 00:29:57,927 --> 00:29:59,133 Oh, yeah. 469 00:29:59,287 --> 00:30:00,493 Yeah. Yeah. 470 00:30:01,607 --> 00:30:03,530 Claudio. My man. 471 00:30:03,687 --> 00:30:05,052 Dick Shadow. 472 00:30:05,207 --> 00:30:07,369 Hey. Ladies, why don't you take a break? 473 00:30:08,167 --> 00:30:09,851 Give me a second with my buddy here. 474 00:30:10,887 --> 00:30:13,891 There's somebody I want you to meet. You'll get a kick out of this. 475 00:30:14,047 --> 00:30:16,891 Do you remember Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium? 476 00:30:17,047 --> 00:30:21,928 Yeah, I think so. Married couple from the '70s, talked like retards... 477 00:30:22,087 --> 00:30:25,296 -...never shaved? -Yeah. This is their son. 478 00:30:25,447 --> 00:30:26,892 He wants to get into porn. 479 00:30:27,047 --> 00:30:28,492 Really? 480 00:30:29,487 --> 00:30:32,058 So, what do you want to do? You wanna be a lighting guy... 481 00:30:32,207 --> 00:30:33,368 ...or a fluffer? 482 00:30:33,527 --> 00:30:35,370 No, a star. 483 00:30:36,647 --> 00:30:38,411 Okay. 484 00:30:38,647 --> 00:30:40,649 Well, let's see what you got. 485 00:30:41,607 --> 00:30:43,097 Here I go. 486 00:30:43,647 --> 00:30:46,127 I got about two bucks and some Bazooka Joes. 487 00:30:46,287 --> 00:30:48,016 It's a little warm, but it's chewable. 488 00:30:49,047 --> 00:30:51,175 No, no. Let's see your stuff. 489 00:30:52,087 --> 00:30:55,216 Oh, my-- My stuffs in my apartment. Was I supposed to bring it? 490 00:30:55,367 --> 00:30:57,369 No, your junk, kid. Whip it out. 491 00:30:57,527 --> 00:31:00,815 Your dick, Bucky. Pull down your pants. That's what he's talking about. 492 00:31:02,687 --> 00:31:04,974 -Oh, my.... -Yeah. 493 00:31:05,487 --> 00:31:06,932 Yeah. 494 00:31:17,287 --> 00:31:19,335 Very impressive. 495 00:31:19,847 --> 00:31:21,611 This is quite extraordinary, Bucky. 496 00:31:21,767 --> 00:31:24,008 I think you've got quite a future in this business. 497 00:31:24,487 --> 00:31:26,091 -No. -Yeah. 498 00:31:26,247 --> 00:31:27,692 Can I borrow him for a minute? 499 00:31:27,847 --> 00:31:29,531 I would just love to show him around... 500 00:31:29,687 --> 00:31:31,655 ...and introduce him to some people, okay? 501 00:31:31,807 --> 00:31:35,209 Yeah, come on. No, I'm serious. 502 00:31:37,447 --> 00:31:40,257 It's Miles Deep, the director. 503 00:31:40,407 --> 00:31:42,296 How about I direct my dick in your mouth... 504 00:31:42,447 --> 00:31:44,495 ...if you don't get the fuck out of here? 505 00:31:44,647 --> 00:31:47,048 Look, let me just go in there for a minute and I can-- 506 00:31:47,207 --> 00:31:50,256 Wait. Wait. You son of a bitch. 507 00:31:50,727 --> 00:31:52,491 Party people! 508 00:31:55,807 --> 00:31:58,538 Yeah. Let's stop the music, please. 509 00:31:58,967 --> 00:32:01,618 I've got somebody very important I want you to meet. 510 00:32:02,247 --> 00:32:05,251 Now I've seen many porn stars come and go... 511 00:32:05,407 --> 00:32:07,694 ...but this guy right here I just met... 512 00:32:07,847 --> 00:32:10,851 ...he's gonna be coming for a very long time. 513 00:32:12,487 --> 00:32:15,855 Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Bucky Larson? 514 00:32:18,167 --> 00:32:19,328 Hey, how are you? 515 00:32:21,087 --> 00:32:23,693 Drop the pants. Show them what you got, kid. 516 00:32:23,847 --> 00:32:24,973 All right. 517 00:32:33,607 --> 00:32:36,497 Did I mention he'll be starring in lesbian porn? 518 00:32:40,927 --> 00:32:42,417 No. 519 00:32:48,247 --> 00:32:49,578 Somebody help him. 520 00:32:49,727 --> 00:32:51,695 I'll save you, little man. 521 00:32:55,447 --> 00:32:57,415 He really pushed you In the pool like that? 522 00:32:57,567 --> 00:32:58,853 What a jerk. 523 00:32:59,007 --> 00:33:01,214 Maybe he thought you were a walrus. 524 00:33:04,607 --> 00:33:07,292 Yeah, and I can't swim good without my water wings, you know. 525 00:33:07,767 --> 00:33:10,532 You know, Dick Shadow's the biggest star in the nude business. 526 00:33:10,687 --> 00:33:12,735 You know, I mean, what am I gonna do? 527 00:33:12,887 --> 00:33:16,175 Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've never heard of Dick Shadow... 528 00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:18,409 ...but I have heard of Bucky Larson. 529 00:33:21,167 --> 00:33:22,817 Hey, Kathy. 530 00:33:23,367 --> 00:33:25,290 There's a dead cat in the woman's bathroom. 531 00:33:25,447 --> 00:33:26,892 I need you to put it in my car. 532 00:33:28,167 --> 00:33:29,612 I can feed it to my snake. 533 00:33:30,647 --> 00:33:32,615 -Okay. -Stop being difficult. 534 00:33:39,287 --> 00:33:40,573 Excuse me. 535 00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:44,015 Thought I overheard you say something about the nude business. 536 00:33:44,247 --> 00:33:45,248 Yeah. 537 00:33:45,767 --> 00:33:47,849 Were you at Dick Shadow's party last night? 538 00:33:48,007 --> 00:33:49,293 Yeah, for a little bit. 539 00:33:49,447 --> 00:33:52,849 -Are you friends with Dick? -No, not exactly. 540 00:33:53,007 --> 00:33:55,374 -My friend Claudio brought me. -The director, right? 541 00:33:57,047 --> 00:33:58,936 I'm a director too. 542 00:33:59,367 --> 00:34:02,098 Miles. Miles Deep. 543 00:34:02,247 --> 00:34:05,137 Wow, cool. Pleasure to meet you. Bucky Larson. 544 00:34:05,287 --> 00:34:07,688 -So did you go to Dick's party too? -No. 545 00:34:07,847 --> 00:34:11,533 The porn world is full of fucking degenerates. 546 00:34:11,687 --> 00:34:14,611 My folks aren't degenerates. They're the sweetest in the world... 547 00:34:14,767 --> 00:34:16,735 ...and they were gigantors in the pornos. 548 00:34:16,887 --> 00:34:18,332 Who were your folks? 549 00:34:18,487 --> 00:34:20,649 Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium. 550 00:34:23,207 --> 00:34:25,608 -Farmer in the Smell? -Yeah. 551 00:34:25,767 --> 00:34:27,690 I worked on that movie. 552 00:34:27,847 --> 00:34:29,258 Yeah, get right out of a creek. 553 00:34:29,407 --> 00:34:32,172 I was a production assistant. 554 00:34:35,967 --> 00:34:39,858 -Hell, they were the last real originals. -I'll tell them you said that. 555 00:34:40,807 --> 00:34:43,492 I knew I knew that accent. 556 00:34:44,487 --> 00:34:47,616 Everyone keeps talking about my accent, but I'm from America. 557 00:34:50,367 --> 00:34:54,417 -Do you want to be on camera? -Yeah. 558 00:34:55,047 --> 00:34:58,210 I just bought a vintage camera. 559 00:34:58,967 --> 00:35:00,810 Would you like to shoot something tonight? 560 00:35:03,607 --> 00:35:06,929 Yeah. I think I can do that. 561 00:35:11,647 --> 00:35:13,536 Did you take Social Studies in fifth grade? 562 00:35:13,687 --> 00:35:15,689 -Yeah, for sure. I got a B. -Yeah. 563 00:35:15,847 --> 00:35:18,327 -The line by your thumb says B. -No fooling. 564 00:35:21,247 --> 00:35:25,093 -Is that guy retarded, Miles? -No, Jimmy, you're retarded. 565 00:35:26,087 --> 00:35:28,533 I told you, his parents were famous. 566 00:35:28,687 --> 00:35:30,735 There may be a nostalgic market out there. 567 00:35:30,887 --> 00:35:32,889 Bucky, come on over here and stand by the bar. 568 00:35:33,047 --> 00:35:34,333 Oh, yeah, sure. 569 00:35:38,927 --> 00:35:41,931 Nice, Gretchen. Really sexy. 570 00:35:42,087 --> 00:35:45,375 I knew I'd be good at this. I was a huge whore in high school. 571 00:35:45,527 --> 00:35:49,054 Okay, and we're rolling. Iowa, go ahead and step in there. 572 00:35:51,607 --> 00:35:53,609 Get that fucking thing out of there. 573 00:35:53,767 --> 00:35:54,893 Jesus. 574 00:35:55,887 --> 00:35:58,049 Don't look at the camera. 575 00:35:58,207 --> 00:36:01,575 All right, Bucky, go ahead, lose the shirt. Let's see how you look. 576 00:36:07,687 --> 00:36:10,896 Kill that light. I got a glare off of Bucky's chest. 577 00:36:13,127 --> 00:36:16,097 Okay, Bucky, let's go ahead, drop your pants. 578 00:36:16,247 --> 00:36:17,897 Yeah, no problem. 579 00:36:32,887 --> 00:36:37,927 Okay, Gretchen, now would be a good time to pop out the puppies. 580 00:36:54,367 --> 00:36:55,698 What the fuck just happened? 581 00:36:56,607 --> 00:36:59,292 My brain just sparkled. 582 00:37:00,287 --> 00:37:01,618 Where did that go? 583 00:37:01,767 --> 00:37:04,008 Oh, I see some on the ceiling. 584 00:37:05,287 --> 00:37:07,369 I don't think I have any on me. 585 00:37:22,567 --> 00:37:24,251 Did he just come again? 586 00:37:24,407 --> 00:37:26,887 Yeah. You got it on the lens. 587 00:37:27,367 --> 00:37:29,529 I'm so sorry, Miles. 588 00:37:29,767 --> 00:37:31,769 I have no control, honest. 589 00:37:33,607 --> 00:37:35,052 No worries, kid. 590 00:37:35,207 --> 00:37:38,017 Go ahead, put your clothes back on. 591 00:37:41,047 --> 00:37:42,412 So... 592 00:37:42,887 --> 00:37:44,651 ...was it good or bad? How did I do? 593 00:37:46,167 --> 00:37:48,010 It was.... 594 00:37:50,207 --> 00:37:51,208 It was. 595 00:37:53,007 --> 00:37:56,807 -Yes. -Let's wrap it up for today. 596 00:37:56,967 --> 00:37:58,457 Jimmy will give you a ride home. 597 00:37:58,607 --> 00:38:00,496 He's not gonna jizz all over my car, is he? 598 00:38:00,647 --> 00:38:02,486 Shut the fuck up, Jimmy. 599 00:38:02,487 --> 00:38:02,897 600 00:38:07,847 --> 00:38:09,611 Here you go. 601 00:38:14,807 --> 00:38:15,808 Where's the blue one? 602 00:38:17,767 --> 00:38:19,895 Don't play with me, man. 603 00:38:20,487 --> 00:38:21,613 And the black one. 604 00:38:22,407 --> 00:38:25,854 The black one is what keeps me from biting your fucking ear off. 605 00:38:27,447 --> 00:38:30,417 It's just my mom said that you went to rehab a couple times-- 606 00:38:30,567 --> 00:38:31,648 Your mom's a slut. 607 00:38:32,327 --> 00:38:33,613 But she's your sister. 608 00:38:33,767 --> 00:38:35,690 Exactly. How do you think I know? 609 00:38:36,127 --> 00:38:39,256 Why are you looking at this footage? I thought you said it was garbage. 610 00:38:39,407 --> 00:38:42,616 Because I'm looking to see how the camera looks. 611 00:38:42,767 --> 00:38:45,213 -If that's all right with you, shit stains. -It's fine. 612 00:38:45,367 --> 00:38:47,131 Thank you. 613 00:38:48,647 --> 00:38:50,695 My God. 614 00:38:51,127 --> 00:38:53,892 This guy has got some piano keys in his mouth. 615 00:38:54,487 --> 00:38:57,377 Yeah, when he pulled down his pants, I thought he had a vagina. 616 00:38:57,527 --> 00:39:01,213 Yeah. I had that vagina moment too. 617 00:39:02,687 --> 00:39:06,897 Even though he's hung like a ladybug, at least he's not afraid to show it. 618 00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:10,212 God, I got up too fast. 619 00:39:11,327 --> 00:39:13,375 What do you want me to do with all the footage? 620 00:39:13,527 --> 00:39:17,293 I don't give a fuck what you do with it. Put it up your ass. 621 00:39:23,407 --> 00:39:26,172 Gary, I'm so glad you're finally awake. 622 00:39:26,327 --> 00:39:29,012 I had the craziest night last night. I shot an actual movie-- 623 00:39:29,167 --> 00:39:30,896 Whose cereal is that? 624 00:39:31,367 --> 00:39:32,653 Mine. I bought it yesterday. 625 00:39:32,807 --> 00:39:34,093 Did you buy your own milk? 626 00:39:34,567 --> 00:39:36,649 -No. Can I borrow some? -Hell, no. Fuck you. 627 00:39:41,607 --> 00:39:43,689 Hey. Hi, Bucky. 628 00:39:43,847 --> 00:39:45,087 Hey, Kathy. 629 00:39:45,247 --> 00:39:47,136 What's up, Kathy? Would you like some milk? 630 00:39:47,767 --> 00:39:50,532 No, thanks, Gary. Hey, Bucky. You wanna walk me to work? 631 00:39:50,687 --> 00:39:52,576 Yeah, sure. 632 00:39:53,047 --> 00:39:55,653 -I like walking. -That's nice, Gary. 633 00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:58,097 -Come on. -I had the craziest night. 634 00:39:58,247 --> 00:39:59,931 Oh, yeah? What happened? 635 00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:03,577 Why don't you walk on my tits, you big, fucking lesbo? 636 00:40:03,847 --> 00:40:06,532 Hi, Mom. No, I wasn't talking to you. 637 00:40:07,167 --> 00:40:10,649 It was like I dreamed. The lights were on and the director had a cool camera. 638 00:40:10,807 --> 00:40:13,208 When I pulled down my pants, I saw colours in my brain. 639 00:40:13,367 --> 00:40:15,369 Then there was a pop. And then stuff came out. 640 00:40:15,527 --> 00:40:17,256 There was a pop, they said, "It was." 641 00:40:17,407 --> 00:40:20,297 They had a weird helmet. They knew I got a B in Social Studies. 642 00:40:21,527 --> 00:40:23,131 I mean, you've been here two days... 643 00:40:23,287 --> 00:40:25,176 ...and your dreams are already coming true. 644 00:40:25,327 --> 00:40:27,136 -That's incredible. -Yeah, it's crazy. 645 00:40:27,287 --> 00:40:28,891 I don't know, but I'm babbling. 646 00:40:29,047 --> 00:40:31,095 Enough about me. I wanna know about you, Kathy. 647 00:40:31,247 --> 00:40:32,737 What are your dreams? 648 00:40:33,607 --> 00:40:36,008 I want to be a waitress. 649 00:40:36,847 --> 00:40:38,895 Your dreams came true. Why didn't you tell me? 650 00:40:39,047 --> 00:40:41,368 So you know what I'm going through. Dreams are crazy. 651 00:40:41,527 --> 00:40:45,134 Well, not really. I mean, the diner's not my dream. 652 00:40:45,287 --> 00:40:47,016 It's my nightmare, actually. 653 00:40:47,167 --> 00:40:50,808 But, you know, it's where I've been banished. 654 00:40:51,167 --> 00:40:53,010 Yeah, I was going to mention that earlier. 655 00:40:53,167 --> 00:40:54,771 The people don't seem nice to you... 656 00:40:54,927 --> 00:40:58,090 ...and the food makes my bottom burn. 657 00:40:58,767 --> 00:41:00,178 Why were you banished? 658 00:41:00,327 --> 00:41:02,409 There was an incident, Bucky. 659 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:07,371 -You killed a man? -No. Not exactly. 660 00:41:07,847 --> 00:41:11,818 When I first moved to L. A., I got a job at a five-star restaurant. 661 00:41:12,447 --> 00:41:14,097 You know, it was my dream job. 662 00:41:14,247 --> 00:41:15,976 And on the first day of training... 663 00:41:16,127 --> 00:41:20,496 ...I was carrying a tray of soups for a table of 10. 664 00:41:21,167 --> 00:41:24,011 And it was heavy, you know? But I toughed it out. 665 00:41:24,167 --> 00:41:26,818 But then, halfway to the table, my arm gave out... 666 00:41:26,967 --> 00:41:29,777 ...and I spilled soup all over this old lady. 667 00:41:31,687 --> 00:41:33,769 She screamed... 668 00:41:34,007 --> 00:41:35,850 ...so loud. 669 00:41:36,847 --> 00:41:40,010 She had to be choppered to a burn unit in San Diego. 670 00:41:40,167 --> 00:41:41,168 No. 671 00:41:41,327 --> 00:41:42,533 And ever since then... 672 00:41:42,687 --> 00:41:48,410 ...you know, I just burst into tears when I see a large food tray. 673 00:41:49,847 --> 00:41:52,691 So that's why I work at Tony's. 674 00:41:53,247 --> 00:41:55,056 No trays. 675 00:41:55,207 --> 00:41:57,653 Listen up, Kath. We'll get your dream back, okay? 676 00:41:57,807 --> 00:42:00,458 And you won't burn the elderly. I promise. 677 00:42:01,567 --> 00:42:02,648 Thanks, Bucky. 678 00:42:04,887 --> 00:42:07,128 -Oh, there's one other thing. -What? 679 00:42:07,287 --> 00:42:08,777 You're it. 680 00:42:17,087 --> 00:42:19,488 -Hi, Bucky. -Hey, Miles. 681 00:42:19,647 --> 00:42:20,773 It's great to see you. 682 00:42:20,927 --> 00:42:22,736 So hey, how did our scene edit together? 683 00:42:23,807 --> 00:42:25,889 That's what I want to talk to you about. 684 00:42:26,047 --> 00:42:27,811 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. Now, listen. 685 00:42:27,967 --> 00:42:29,332 Yeah. Sit. 686 00:42:33,927 --> 00:42:37,932 So I think you should be in the porn business. 687 00:42:39,767 --> 00:42:44,614 But in another way besides on camera. 688 00:42:45,687 --> 00:42:48,657 Perhaps behind the scenes. 689 00:42:50,407 --> 00:42:54,378 But I want to be a star. It's my destiny. 690 00:42:54,527 --> 00:42:56,848 Yeah, yeah, I know, Bucky. 691 00:42:57,047 --> 00:42:59,448 Your parents and destiny. 692 00:43:00,607 --> 00:43:04,976 But porn stars have to have certain things. 693 00:43:05,527 --> 00:43:09,134 -You know? -Yeah, I can get a tan. 694 00:43:09,807 --> 00:43:13,368 No, I meant more in the crotch area. 695 00:43:13,527 --> 00:43:15,768 Oh, yeah. No, I can tan my crotch. 696 00:43:17,247 --> 00:43:18,373 No, Bucky. 697 00:43:18,527 --> 00:43:20,291 He's talking about your dick, dum-dum. 698 00:43:20,447 --> 00:43:22,097 You don't got the: 699 00:43:26,087 --> 00:43:30,536 Bucky, you're a really nice kid. 700 00:43:31,407 --> 00:43:33,853 I just don't want to see you waste your time. 701 00:43:36,167 --> 00:43:38,090 I'm just trying to be honest with you, kid. 702 00:43:42,047 --> 00:43:43,048 Yeah, okay. 703 00:43:46,887 --> 00:43:48,651 I'm sorry. I gotta go. 704 00:43:50,447 --> 00:43:52,017 Bucky, are you all right? 705 00:43:52,167 --> 00:43:54,295 Yeah, I'm okay. 706 00:43:54,647 --> 00:43:56,251 Bucky. 707 00:44:01,727 --> 00:44:05,334 Hey, Miles, baby. I'll do a movie for you. 708 00:44:06,167 --> 00:44:08,010 I'm hung like a cocker spaniel. 709 00:44:09,607 --> 00:44:14,010 -Cocker spaniel is not a big dog. -Yeah, but it's nice and soft. 710 00:44:14,167 --> 00:44:15,532 With cuddly eyes. 711 00:44:16,407 --> 00:44:17,852 Your dick has cuddly eyes? 712 00:44:18,647 --> 00:44:22,413 You know what I mean. You know what the fuck I mean. 713 00:44:24,567 --> 00:44:26,171 Fuck you! 714 00:44:34,527 --> 00:44:36,416 Did you eat one of my grapes? 715 00:44:36,567 --> 00:44:40,014 Is that why you're crying, you son of a bitch? 716 00:44:40,167 --> 00:44:41,931 You're pathetic. 717 00:44:51,007 --> 00:44:54,807 What the fuck is with the forwarding of all the videos? 718 00:44:56,007 --> 00:44:58,135 What did my mom send me? 719 00:45:00,647 --> 00:45:02,092 What the fuck? 720 00:45:02,247 --> 00:45:04,136 I uploaded it on youpube.net. 721 00:45:04,287 --> 00:45:06,972 It's gotten almost a million hits in three days. 722 00:45:08,287 --> 00:45:09,288 -You're kidding. -No. 723 00:45:09,447 --> 00:45:12,894 All my friends watched it with their girls and they all got laid afterwards. 724 00:45:13,447 --> 00:45:14,937 Right. 725 00:45:15,967 --> 00:45:17,731 The guys aren't threatened. 726 00:45:17,887 --> 00:45:21,414 And the girls think they've got a prize compared to Bucky. 727 00:45:25,287 --> 00:45:27,654 Every small dick out there has been waiting for this. 728 00:45:28,447 --> 00:45:29,448 How do you know that? 729 00:45:30,367 --> 00:45:32,256 Let's stay focused. 730 00:45:32,967 --> 00:45:34,366 This is a good angle. 731 00:45:34,367 --> 00:45:34,777 [[Synced By: Aboodi12]] Retail Spell Checked (My Own Rip) 732 00:45:37,407 --> 00:45:40,650 I'm just saying, I've never been fully filled up on camera before. 733 00:45:40,807 --> 00:45:43,936 You're saying you have more inches to your torpedo? 734 00:45:44,087 --> 00:45:45,088 At least five more. 735 00:45:45,567 --> 00:45:48,776 -We could blow some minds. -And more loads. 736 00:45:51,127 --> 00:45:54,097 -J. Day. -Hey, Miles, come in. 737 00:45:54,247 --> 00:45:56,375 -How's it going, buddy? -Good, good. 738 00:45:56,527 --> 00:45:58,097 Do you know Dick Shadow? 739 00:45:58,247 --> 00:46:00,249 -Yeah. It's been a while. -Yeah. 740 00:46:00,407 --> 00:46:02,535 Yeah, well, you've been busy. 741 00:46:03,807 --> 00:46:05,775 Yeah, Nice. Miles, is that the DVD? 742 00:46:06,607 --> 00:46:08,177 Right there. 743 00:46:08,327 --> 00:46:11,456 Miles called me about discovering the new heat in porn. 744 00:46:11,607 --> 00:46:14,895 Really? I didn't know porn needed heating up. 745 00:46:16,327 --> 00:46:18,136 Do you mind if I sit in on this, J. Day? 746 00:46:18,287 --> 00:46:20,176 -Yeah, yeah, yes, of course. -Yeah. 747 00:46:20,327 --> 00:46:22,250 Stay and check it out. Have a seat, Miles. 748 00:46:22,407 --> 00:46:24,569 -Make yourself comfy. -Okay. Thanks. 749 00:46:33,607 --> 00:46:35,769 I know who that guy is. 750 00:46:44,407 --> 00:46:47,968 -Does he have pussy? -Wait, wait, wait. 751 00:46:52,807 --> 00:46:55,048 Wait a minute here. 752 00:46:55,207 --> 00:46:57,448 What--? What's he turning into, a werewolf? 753 00:46:57,607 --> 00:47:00,577 He's got quite the squirt gun, huh? 754 00:47:06,727 --> 00:47:08,411 Well, what do you think? 755 00:47:08,567 --> 00:47:10,535 I mean, the guy can spunk like a monkey... 756 00:47:10,687 --> 00:47:13,213 ...but his face is a nightmare with the teeth. 757 00:47:13,647 --> 00:47:16,617 He should not be on camera. You're pulling my nuts, huh? 758 00:47:16,767 --> 00:47:18,974 -This a joke? -No. 759 00:47:19,127 --> 00:47:21,937 This thing was all over the Internet. 760 00:47:22,087 --> 00:47:26,092 It was the most e-mailed clip of the week on youpube.net. 761 00:47:26,247 --> 00:47:30,377 Yes, of course it was. This guy's like Muppet with clown-flower spray-penis. 762 00:47:30,967 --> 00:47:32,651 But this isn't porno, man. 763 00:47:32,807 --> 00:47:35,697 Porn is to fantasies about the cock you wish you had. 764 00:47:35,847 --> 00:47:38,248 Or wish was in your wife's hand or ass crack. 765 00:47:39,127 --> 00:47:43,451 But it's also about the cock you're glad you don't have. 766 00:47:45,047 --> 00:47:48,290 I know it's different, but this could be something... 767 00:47:48,447 --> 00:47:49,687 ...really groundbreaking. 768 00:47:50,607 --> 00:47:54,214 J. Day, you got to give this a shot. 769 00:47:54,647 --> 00:47:57,378 You know what? I want to do several shots of tequila... 770 00:47:57,527 --> 00:48:01,851 ...black out, and forget I ever saw the rat face and mouse pee-pee. 771 00:48:03,527 --> 00:48:07,168 Listen, I'm really sorry, Miles. What can I do? 772 00:48:07,687 --> 00:48:09,849 -I'm sorry, buddy. -Okay. 773 00:48:11,327 --> 00:48:14,809 Take it easy, broheim. Relax. Go home, wax your asshole. 774 00:48:17,287 --> 00:48:19,449 I feel bad turning my back on him. 775 00:48:19,607 --> 00:48:22,929 But he's a mess with the pills and the ex-wives and the: 776 00:48:26,727 --> 00:48:29,856 -Are you into pills too? -No, it's just a little Viagra. 777 00:48:30,167 --> 00:48:31,976 I'm going to the mall. 778 00:48:34,527 --> 00:48:35,858 Jeez. 779 00:48:37,287 --> 00:48:39,051 Are you sure you wanna do this, Miles? 780 00:48:39,207 --> 00:48:41,778 My professor said you should never invest your own money. 781 00:48:41,927 --> 00:48:45,374 Yeah? And where is your professor? 782 00:48:45,527 --> 00:48:49,293 In the classroom, teaching a bunch of dick-divers. 783 00:48:49,447 --> 00:48:52,337 I'm a fucking artist and the movies always come first. 784 00:48:52,487 --> 00:48:55,616 Not money, not happiness, the movies. 785 00:48:56,207 --> 00:48:58,733 You know who knows that? My first wife, my second wife... 786 00:48:58,887 --> 00:49:01,015 ...my fourth wife, and my ninth wife. 787 00:49:01,727 --> 00:49:03,616 Plus, I just got approved for a loan. 788 00:49:04,927 --> 00:49:06,417 What bank gave you a loan? 789 00:49:06,567 --> 00:49:09,696 The bank of the Vietnamese mafia. 790 00:49:14,127 --> 00:49:15,856 I just got off a night shoot. 791 00:49:16,007 --> 00:49:19,534 I wrapped another movie like an hour ago and I come right over. 792 00:49:19,687 --> 00:49:22,896 You know, you should get some sleep, though. Sleep ls really important. 793 00:49:23,047 --> 00:49:25,288 My mom said everyone should have nine hours a day. 794 00:49:25,447 --> 00:49:28,337 Nine hours would be good. I love work, you know.... 795 00:49:28,487 --> 00:49:30,091 What the fuck are you doing? 796 00:49:30,247 --> 00:49:33,296 -I was just trying to fix his hair. -But who told you to do that? 797 00:49:33,447 --> 00:49:35,814 -I thought-- -I don't give a shit what you thought. 798 00:49:35,967 --> 00:49:38,891 I don't want him to look good. I want him to look natural. 799 00:49:39,687 --> 00:49:41,610 But he looks horrible. 800 00:49:42,407 --> 00:49:43,932 Get the fuck out. 801 00:49:45,007 --> 00:49:46,896 Get the fuck out. 802 00:49:49,007 --> 00:49:51,135 -How are you feeling, Bucky? -I'm good. 803 00:49:51,287 --> 00:49:53,574 I think he was trying to be nice. He was tired-- 804 00:49:53,727 --> 00:49:55,695 Who cares? Fuck him. He's getting paid. 805 00:49:55,847 --> 00:49:58,418 I want to talk to you about the scene we're about to shoot. 806 00:49:58,567 --> 00:50:00,729 -Oh, yeah. Okay, good. -Okay. 807 00:50:00,887 --> 00:50:04,733 You're a paperboy. And you've been delivering papers all day long. 808 00:50:04,887 --> 00:50:06,889 And you're hot. And you're tired. 809 00:50:07,047 --> 00:50:09,573 You've been up and down the streets, throwing the papers. 810 00:50:09,727 --> 00:50:12,810 And you need an ice cream. 811 00:50:13,487 --> 00:50:14,693 Oh, boy. 812 00:50:15,487 --> 00:50:16,568 What? 813 00:50:17,407 --> 00:50:19,057 I never delivered a paper in my life. 814 00:50:19,207 --> 00:50:22,017 I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I just didn't even think. 815 00:50:22,167 --> 00:50:24,295 I didn't have a paper route in the neighbourhood. 816 00:50:24,447 --> 00:50:26,768 I mowed the lawns. You want to make it lawn mowing-- 817 00:50:26,927 --> 00:50:29,658 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 818 00:50:30,487 --> 00:50:34,697 Oh, God. I love it that you care about the details. 819 00:50:34,847 --> 00:50:37,293 -Yeah. -Did we powder Blueberry's tits? 820 00:50:38,247 --> 00:50:40,818 -Not yet. -Well, why the fuck not? 821 00:50:40,967 --> 00:50:42,412 Yo, fruit bat. 822 00:50:43,807 --> 00:50:45,411 -Where the fuck are you going? -What? 823 00:50:45,567 --> 00:50:48,173 -I thought you said-- -Fuck you, what I thought. 824 00:50:48,327 --> 00:50:51,171 Powder her tits. Do something right today. 825 00:50:54,567 --> 00:50:56,569 Excuse me, ma'am. Could you wait one second? 826 00:50:56,727 --> 00:50:59,014 -For what? -We're shooting a movie. 827 00:51:00,447 --> 00:51:03,053 Who's the star, Judge Reinhold? 828 00:51:08,047 --> 00:51:10,414 Is it a monster movie? 829 00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:15,368 -And er-action. -Oh, er-action. Bucky, go. Go, go, go. 830 00:51:19,247 --> 00:51:20,772 Hey, ma'am, I got your paper. 831 00:51:20,927 --> 00:51:23,692 You can leave the paper on the counter. 832 00:51:27,007 --> 00:51:28,850 -I got it right. -I saw it. 833 00:51:29,007 --> 00:51:30,008 Don't look at me. 834 00:51:33,647 --> 00:51:36,457 I have a problem, paperboy. 835 00:51:38,367 --> 00:51:40,654 Maybe you can help me. 836 00:51:40,807 --> 00:51:42,093 I have a sundae... 837 00:51:43,287 --> 00:51:47,372 ...but it needs nuts and cream on it. 838 00:51:47,847 --> 00:51:50,851 Oh, no. Here, let me help. I'll just get my scooper out. 839 00:51:56,727 --> 00:51:59,378 -That's it? -It's average. 840 00:51:59,847 --> 00:52:04,774 Boy, my sugar cones could really use some alr. 841 00:52:24,247 --> 00:52:27,456 Cut! That was great, Bucky. 842 00:52:27,607 --> 00:52:30,895 -It was? -It was. 843 00:52:31,047 --> 00:52:32,856 Do you got another one in you? Good. 844 00:52:33,007 --> 00:52:35,055 That was great. Good job. 845 00:52:35,367 --> 00:52:37,017 Hi, Blueberry, do you need a rag? 846 00:52:37,167 --> 00:52:40,808 I saw it come out, but I didn't get any on me. 847 00:52:40,967 --> 00:52:42,890 There's some on my shoe. 848 00:52:43,047 --> 00:52:45,448 I wouldn't eat that. 849 00:52:45,607 --> 00:52:46,733 Okay, you can walk now. 850 00:52:46,887 --> 00:52:48,810 Thanks, but I'm gonna send you a bill... 851 00:52:48,967 --> 00:52:51,857 ...for this bird poop on my shoulder. 852 00:53:03,927 --> 00:53:07,374 So there it is. The future. 853 00:53:08,487 --> 00:53:10,091 I wanted you all to see it first... 854 00:53:10,247 --> 00:53:12,932 ...because you're the best distributors in the business. 855 00:53:13,087 --> 00:53:15,135 And I value your opinion. 856 00:53:15,287 --> 00:53:16,971 And we're looking for a modest deal... 857 00:53:17,127 --> 00:53:20,609 ...foreign and domestic. Any questions? 858 00:53:21,567 --> 00:53:25,128 -Yeah, Eddie. -Miles, are you fucking kidding us? 859 00:53:25,287 --> 00:53:27,972 -What? -That didn't even get me half hard. 860 00:53:28,127 --> 00:53:30,778 It actually got my dick to go back inside me... 861 00:53:30,927 --> 00:53:33,817 ...and it's pointed towards my stomach. 862 00:53:34,087 --> 00:53:35,657 And it hurts. 863 00:53:35,807 --> 00:53:37,172 It's a new style. 864 00:53:37,327 --> 00:53:40,888 But Eddie, this is going to catch on. 865 00:53:41,047 --> 00:53:42,970 How did he lose his penis? 866 00:53:43,127 --> 00:53:44,617 Was it a hunting accident? 867 00:53:46,567 --> 00:53:50,697 Miles, where'd you find a buck-tooth dyke with a clit that big? 868 00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:58,093 Unbelievable. 869 00:53:59,527 --> 00:54:00,653 So that went good? 870 00:54:08,727 --> 00:54:10,729 Who's taller? 871 00:54:10,887 --> 00:54:12,173 He is. 872 00:54:12,327 --> 00:54:13,897 Okay. All right, well, wait. 873 00:54:15,607 --> 00:54:17,928 -Now, who's taller? -He is. 874 00:54:19,127 --> 00:54:21,812 Look, Bucky, I'm a parade float. 875 00:54:22,247 --> 00:54:24,056 Oh, my gosh. 876 00:54:27,487 --> 00:54:30,491 I don't know what those distribution guys were talking about, Bucky. 877 00:54:30,647 --> 00:54:34,015 I thought you were totally adorable and charming in that paperboy movie. 878 00:54:34,167 --> 00:54:36,329 Really? Thanks. 879 00:54:36,487 --> 00:54:38,410 Yeah, I just got to keep on believing. 880 00:54:38,567 --> 00:54:41,218 You know, this town ls really testing me. 881 00:54:41,367 --> 00:54:44,576 Yeah. And you know what's funny? 882 00:54:44,727 --> 00:54:46,411 Clowns? 883 00:54:46,687 --> 00:54:48,894 Yes, but, you know, in your videos... 884 00:54:49,047 --> 00:54:52,017 ...you never actually have sex with the girls. 885 00:54:53,607 --> 00:54:57,578 Yeah, I've never really done that before, so I don't know. 886 00:54:57,727 --> 00:55:00,492 Yeah. No. 887 00:55:02,807 --> 00:55:05,128 -Can I take a picture? -All right. How's my hair? 888 00:55:05,287 --> 00:55:07,686 Very good. Very good. 889 00:55:07,687 --> 00:55:08,286 890 00:55:08,287 --> 00:55:10,255 No way. I don't believe this. 891 00:55:10,407 --> 00:55:13,217 I've seen all the shit In here, but that is not real. 892 00:55:13,367 --> 00:55:15,051 -Hi. -Whoa, shit. 893 00:55:15,207 --> 00:55:17,892 I'm sorry, man. You're real. Okay. 894 00:55:18,047 --> 00:55:19,856 They pay you to glue those chopsticks on? 895 00:55:20,007 --> 00:55:22,658 -To glue what sticks? -Baby, I don't think he works here. 896 00:55:22,807 --> 00:55:24,457 I don't care. If those are real... 897 00:55:24,607 --> 00:55:27,736 ...then I gotta get a picture with the beaver man. Here, watch this. 898 00:55:28,527 --> 00:55:32,498 All right, leave it to my man, beaver. Look at you, brother. 899 00:55:32,647 --> 00:55:35,218 You could tear up a carrot. Look at that. 900 00:55:35,367 --> 00:55:36,448 Thanks. 901 00:55:42,967 --> 00:55:45,493 Are my teeth really that weird? 902 00:55:45,647 --> 00:55:48,173 No. Not at all. 903 00:55:48,327 --> 00:55:50,489 They just have character. 904 00:55:50,687 --> 00:55:52,018 -Really? -Yeah. 905 00:55:52,167 --> 00:55:53,578 Thanks, Kathy. 906 00:55:53,727 --> 00:55:56,333 No. It cannot be. 907 00:55:59,287 --> 00:56:00,777 Yeah, they're real. 908 00:56:00,927 --> 00:56:03,294 You are him? Bucky from the Internet? 909 00:56:03,447 --> 00:56:05,131 You spray from your nest. 910 00:56:05,287 --> 00:56:07,210 Yeah, that's me. 911 00:56:07,367 --> 00:56:12,294 Your video was beautiful, inspiring. 912 00:56:15,167 --> 00:56:17,010 It was such a big help to me and my wife. 913 00:56:17,167 --> 00:56:21,092 She had grown tired of my Water Wiggle... 914 00:56:21,247 --> 00:56:25,297 ...but you renewed her joy in my rod. 915 00:56:25,447 --> 00:56:29,133 -Thank you so much. -Yeah, my pleasure. That's great. 916 00:56:29,287 --> 00:56:32,177 Listen, I have a restaurant called Chop. 917 00:56:32,327 --> 00:56:34,056 It is an Italian steakhouse. 918 00:56:34,207 --> 00:56:36,653 You come in, I'll give you the meal of your lifetime. 919 00:56:37,487 --> 00:56:39,251 -What? -I know Chop. 920 00:56:39,407 --> 00:56:42,490 You got nine-and-a-half stars out of 10 in Restaurant Magazine. 921 00:56:42,647 --> 00:56:46,094 The only Los Angeles restaurant to do that in four years. 922 00:56:46,247 --> 00:56:49,729 Their chef, Alfred DuPont, flies in stone crab claws... 923 00:56:49,887 --> 00:56:52,208 ...fresh from Florida every day. 924 00:56:52,367 --> 00:56:55,052 And he's also cultivated the largest wine selection... 925 00:56:55,207 --> 00:56:57,608 ...in all of southern California. And he's a Libra. 926 00:56:57,767 --> 00:56:59,496 Wow, how do you know this? 927 00:57:00,967 --> 00:57:02,651 I'm a food fan. 928 00:57:02,807 --> 00:57:04,809 Kathy's like the best waitress in the world. 929 00:57:04,967 --> 00:57:05,968 Where do you work? 930 00:57:07,927 --> 00:57:10,089 She's talking to a couple places. 931 00:57:11,087 --> 00:57:14,250 You come in to Chop on Friday, you ask for Dominic. 932 00:57:14,407 --> 00:57:17,172 I'll see if we got any openings. 933 00:57:17,327 --> 00:57:19,648 -Thank you so much. -Thank you. 934 00:57:24,607 --> 00:57:25,608 Oh, my God. 935 00:57:26,247 --> 00:57:27,817 Bucky. 936 00:57:28,327 --> 00:57:30,898 Wow, your head is full of so many food facts. 937 00:57:32,327 --> 00:57:34,898 But Bucky, I can't. 938 00:57:36,727 --> 00:57:40,493 The old woman. I burned somebody. 939 00:57:40,647 --> 00:57:44,174 Listen to me. That was an accident. 940 00:57:44,327 --> 00:57:45,533 You can do this. 941 00:57:46,087 --> 00:57:48,613 Come on, you can't keep working in that stupid diner... 942 00:57:48,767 --> 00:57:52,010 ...getting tipped in Monopoly money and belly-button lint. 943 00:57:54,887 --> 00:57:58,608 I know it's hard, but I'll help you. 944 00:57:58,767 --> 00:58:00,815 We can do this. 945 00:58:00,967 --> 00:58:02,173 Okay. 946 00:58:06,207 --> 00:58:09,416 -Video or the teeth? -Teeth. 947 00:58:12,327 --> 00:58:16,616 Oh, no, no. We gotta have six or eight of those before you get the fire started. 948 00:58:16,767 --> 00:58:18,371 What's the big whoop-de-doo, Miles? 949 00:58:18,527 --> 00:58:20,131 Bucky. 950 00:58:20,287 --> 00:58:24,258 Hey. Hey, what's the deal with your roommate? 951 00:58:24,407 --> 00:58:26,808 You can't talk on the phone for more than 20 seconds... 952 00:58:26,967 --> 00:58:28,617 ...or else he'll burn your pubes off? 953 00:58:28,767 --> 00:58:32,328 Oh, Yeah, I know. Gary just had a rough day. He's got diarrhoea. 954 00:58:32,487 --> 00:58:34,728 You keep pubes. 955 00:58:35,367 --> 00:58:37,495 Anyway. great news. 956 00:58:37,647 --> 00:58:40,730 We set up a link so that people could buy our latest piece of work... 957 00:58:40,887 --> 00:58:42,730 -...and guess what. -What? 958 00:58:42,887 --> 00:58:44,616 It's selling like a mofo. 959 00:58:44,767 --> 00:58:46,212 Hot dog. 960 00:58:46,367 --> 00:58:48,973 Not only did we make all of our money back... 961 00:58:49,127 --> 00:58:52,654 ...the Vietnamese guys have offered to finance a couple more pictures for us. 962 00:58:53,127 --> 00:58:55,858 -No fooling? -Fuck fooling. 963 00:58:56,007 --> 00:58:59,056 You were right. You were born to be a star. 964 00:58:59,207 --> 00:59:02,654 This is-- I gotta call my folks. 965 00:59:02,807 --> 00:59:05,856 I have to tell Kathy. I'm gonna call Kathy? My gosh. And my folks-- 966 00:59:06,007 --> 00:59:08,214 You do that and we're going to party. 967 00:59:08,807 --> 00:59:11,856 -Oh, shit. -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. 968 01:00:10,007 --> 01:00:14,092 Where the fuck do I put my grapes now, you insensitive bastard? 969 01:00:33,287 --> 01:00:35,972 I'm an old lady and I love soup. 970 01:00:48,847 --> 01:00:52,294 -I did it. -You did it! I knew you could! 971 01:00:52,447 --> 01:00:54,017 Bucky! 972 01:01:08,967 --> 01:01:11,288 There you go. Enjoy the brain sparkle. 973 01:01:11,447 --> 01:01:15,497 -Next. -We are just so excited to meet you. 974 01:01:15,647 --> 01:01:18,617 I mean, for so long, our relationship was really off. 975 01:01:18,767 --> 01:01:20,007 It was just shit. 976 01:01:20,647 --> 01:01:22,536 My boyfriend's got a really small dick. 977 01:01:22,687 --> 01:01:25,133 Like, no meat on it. And it really bothered me. 978 01:01:25,727 --> 01:01:27,650 I was kind of used to being with guys... 979 01:01:27,807 --> 01:01:30,094 ...with big-to-huge dicks before I met him. 980 01:01:30,247 --> 01:01:32,375 I thought dicks were supposed to be like that... 981 01:01:32,527 --> 01:01:34,416 ...with fatness and length and whatever. 982 01:01:34,567 --> 01:01:36,649 When Allen would ask me to blow him, I was like: 983 01:01:36,807 --> 01:01:40,016 "Keep that fucking gross niblet away from me." 984 01:01:40,167 --> 01:01:42,408 But then when I saw your dick... 985 01:01:42,567 --> 01:01:45,935 ...it was like a rebirth, a new beginning. 986 01:01:46,807 --> 01:01:49,048 I watched the whole video and I thought... 987 01:01:49,207 --> 01:01:52,290 ...maybe I do have something great with Allen after all. 988 01:01:52,447 --> 01:01:55,098 Compared to you, he's gigantic. 989 01:01:55,247 --> 01:01:57,898 I mean, you make me look like I got a big dick. 990 01:01:59,007 --> 01:02:01,613 So anyways, we've been fucking a lot. 991 01:02:01,767 --> 01:02:04,657 And I can't ride his dick because I always fall right off. 992 01:02:04,807 --> 01:02:08,016 But he's been dogging me and I don't know, I can kind of feel It... 993 01:02:08,167 --> 01:02:11,694 ...or it's his pubes bumping up against my sandbar, but whatever. 994 01:02:11,847 --> 01:02:15,329 At least we're doing it, connecting. 995 01:02:15,487 --> 01:02:17,091 Just, thank you. 996 01:02:17,447 --> 01:02:19,609 Yeah. Thank you. 997 01:02:19,767 --> 01:02:21,735 Changing lives. 998 01:02:22,687 --> 01:02:25,133 Our next guest went from being an Internet sensation... 999 01:02:25,287 --> 01:02:28,814 ...to getting the most nominations in the history of adult film. 1000 01:02:28,967 --> 01:02:31,254 This should be good. 1001 01:02:32,487 --> 01:02:35,058 Please welcome Bucky Larson, everybody. 1002 01:02:39,527 --> 01:02:42,178 No! You fucking prick! 1003 01:02:45,247 --> 01:02:49,093 You don't look like the average porn star. 1004 01:02:49,247 --> 01:02:52,012 Oh, yeah, because I'm wearing a sweater. 1005 01:03:12,327 --> 01:03:13,408 Blueberry's with me. 1006 01:03:17,967 --> 01:03:19,207 Bucky. 1007 01:03:22,007 --> 01:03:23,372 Another shot, Bucky. 1008 01:03:26,247 --> 01:03:27,294 Bucky.... 1009 01:03:29,687 --> 01:03:30,688 It's Bucky. 1010 01:03:32,007 --> 01:03:33,691 -Is that him? -Hey, Bucky. 1011 01:03:33,847 --> 01:03:35,417 God, he's here. 1012 01:03:35,567 --> 01:03:38,491 Miles. It's great to see you, Miles. Hello. 1013 01:03:38,647 --> 01:03:43,369 Your vision with Bucky? I didn't see it, but you did. 1014 01:03:43,527 --> 01:03:46,849 You turned a Tic Tac into a gold mine. 1015 01:03:47,847 --> 01:03:49,736 -Well, here he is. -Hey, how are you? 1016 01:03:49,887 --> 01:03:51,332 Hello, it's great to meet you. 1017 01:03:51,487 --> 01:03:52,613 -Hello, beautiful. -Hello. 1018 01:03:52,767 --> 01:03:55,213 Yes, you can have a seat here. Be my guest. 1019 01:03:55,367 --> 01:03:57,608 And you know Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium. 1020 01:03:57,767 --> 01:03:59,007 -Of course. -Bucky's parents. 1021 01:03:59,167 --> 01:04:00,293 Hi, how are you? 1022 01:04:00,447 --> 01:04:03,610 Your movies were like my Batman growing Up. 1023 01:04:04,007 --> 01:04:06,897 -How sweet. -Batman? That's swell. I love Batman. 1024 01:04:07,047 --> 01:04:08,333 -Have a seat. -Thanks so much. 1025 01:04:08,487 --> 01:04:11,138 -Hey, Dick. Good to see you again. -Good to see you too. 1026 01:04:11,287 --> 01:04:13,289 Congratulations on winning Best "Newcomer." 1027 01:04:13,447 --> 01:04:16,337 What? Are we late? Did we miss an award? 1028 01:04:16,487 --> 01:04:19,297 -No, no, but you'll get that one. -How do you know? 1029 01:04:20,287 --> 01:04:22,255 That's the only award I can't win. 1030 01:04:23,567 --> 01:04:26,252 -Who's the pretty girl? -Oh, this is Kathy. 1031 01:04:26,407 --> 01:04:28,774 She's my girl.... Neighbour. 1032 01:04:29,807 --> 01:04:35,849 Friend. She lives by me. I like her a lot. She's a girl. Lady. 1033 01:04:36,487 --> 01:04:38,330 I'm Bucky's girlfriend. 1034 01:04:41,087 --> 01:04:44,648 Welcome to the 15th annual Adult Film Awards. 1035 01:04:44,807 --> 01:04:48,175 And here's your host, Pauly Shore. 1036 01:04:49,127 --> 01:04:51,209 What? I love Pauly. 1037 01:04:53,087 --> 01:04:55,533 The first award is Best "Newcomer." 1038 01:04:55,967 --> 01:04:58,095 Which is great because it's something you get... 1039 01:04:58,247 --> 01:05:00,090 ...before the herpes and hep-C kick in. 1040 01:05:00,487 --> 01:05:03,058 -I got herpes! -I got hep-C! 1041 01:05:03,207 --> 01:05:06,256 And your nominees are Steven Storm. 1042 01:05:08,127 --> 01:05:10,653 -Mike Thunder. -Yeah, Mike! 1043 01:05:10,807 --> 01:05:13,572 Jeffrey Lightning. 1044 01:05:15,527 --> 01:05:18,815 And a new kid who's making quite a splash around here lately. 1045 01:05:18,967 --> 01:05:19,968 Bucky Larson. 1046 01:05:24,367 --> 01:05:25,414 And the winner is.... 1047 01:05:26,567 --> 01:05:28,331 Holy shit, Bucky Larson. 1048 01:05:52,487 --> 01:05:54,808 I've never held a trophy before. 1049 01:05:54,967 --> 01:05:56,492 Or given a speech. 1050 01:05:56,887 --> 01:06:00,778 I want to thank my director, Miles Deep, for making my movies. 1051 01:06:00,927 --> 01:06:02,895 And for saying I could be a paperboy... 1052 01:06:03,047 --> 01:06:05,618 ...when I swear I've never delivered a paper in my life. 1053 01:06:07,687 --> 01:06:09,451 Also... 1054 01:06:10,407 --> 01:06:12,978 ...to my girlfriend, Kathy. 1055 01:06:16,967 --> 01:06:18,890 Who made sure I didn't sleep in the bushes. 1056 01:06:19,567 --> 01:06:22,173 And to my folks. 1057 01:06:22,887 --> 01:06:26,255 You are my inspiration and my heroes. 1058 01:06:27,287 --> 01:06:31,133 I thought I was going to bag groceries till I was grey in the hair. 1059 01:06:33,127 --> 01:06:37,177 But you showed me that you can have dreams. 1060 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:43,858 And that dreams can make your downstairs explode with magic. 1061 01:06:46,887 --> 01:06:51,290 Thank you. I love you so much. 1062 01:07:00,167 --> 01:07:04,491 Okay. That's out of the way. Now is when I cast my shadow. 1063 01:07:04,847 --> 01:07:08,897 And the award for biggest load goes to.... 1064 01:07:10,247 --> 01:07:11,328 Bucky Larson! 1065 01:07:22,487 --> 01:07:24,489 Everyone In Iowa, I love you! 1066 01:07:25,927 --> 01:07:28,168 The award for Best Bush goes to.... 1067 01:07:28,767 --> 01:07:29,768 Come on. 1068 01:07:30,407 --> 01:07:31,488 Bucky Larson. 1069 01:07:33,367 --> 01:07:36,177 I told you not to shave completely down there. 1070 01:07:36,327 --> 01:07:38,375 You have too many moles. 1071 01:07:39,127 --> 01:07:41,016 To my roommate, Gary, who always said: 1072 01:07:41,167 --> 01:07:42,737 "Don't shit where you shower." 1073 01:07:44,127 --> 01:07:46,573 Am I in the fucking Twilight Zone? 1074 01:07:46,727 --> 01:07:49,537 -Bucky Larson! -Bucky Larson. 1075 01:07:49,687 --> 01:07:54,090 -Bucky Larson. -Bucky Larson. 1076 01:07:55,527 --> 01:07:57,894 -Bucky Larson. -Bucky Larson. 1077 01:07:58,047 --> 01:08:03,258 -Bucky Larson! -Best taint is... 1078 01:08:03,687 --> 01:08:05,291 ...Bucky Larson. 1079 01:08:05,447 --> 01:08:08,451 This is wild stuff, man. Exciting. 1080 01:08:09,287 --> 01:08:11,528 I don't even know what a taint is. 1081 01:08:12,607 --> 01:08:15,816 But if I have the best one, that's because of my mother. 1082 01:08:17,407 --> 01:08:19,694 Bucky. Buck. 1083 01:08:20,007 --> 01:08:22,738 You're not nominated for best tits. Come with me. 1084 01:08:22,887 --> 01:08:25,936 -I want you to meet some people. -Okay. Are you gonna be all right? 1085 01:08:26,087 --> 01:08:28,977 -Yeah. Yeah, go do your thing. -Are you sure? I'll be right back. 1086 01:08:31,807 --> 01:08:34,697 -Quite a night. -Yeah. 1087 01:08:35,687 --> 01:08:37,257 This is crazy. 1088 01:08:37,407 --> 01:08:39,455 So tell me... 1089 01:08:39,607 --> 01:08:42,258 ...a guy like Bucky, what are his tricks? 1090 01:08:43,727 --> 01:08:46,333 -What do you mean? -You know, in the bedroom. 1091 01:08:46,607 --> 01:08:48,371 He's gotta have something up his sleeve. 1092 01:08:48,527 --> 01:08:50,894 He surely doesn't have anything in his pants. 1093 01:08:51,567 --> 01:08:53,456 Well, that's Bucky's personal business... 1094 01:08:53,607 --> 01:08:56,258 ...and I don't really think it's any concern of yours. 1095 01:08:58,487 --> 01:09:01,297 So you don't even know? You two haven't...? 1096 01:09:03,207 --> 01:09:06,734 In that case, I really think you need to spend a night in the shadow. 1097 01:09:07,847 --> 01:09:09,656 I'm already in the shadow. 1098 01:09:09,807 --> 01:09:12,458 The shadow of the 11 awards Bucky's won tonight. 1099 01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:15,534 He's already tied your record, right? 1100 01:09:15,687 --> 01:09:18,497 And I believe we have one more award to go. 1101 01:09:18,647 --> 01:09:21,457 So thanks. 1102 01:09:24,647 --> 01:09:28,413 I don't care what they said. I have the best taint and everybody knows it. 1103 01:09:30,247 --> 01:09:34,809 And now for the winner of the most prestigious award of the night. 1104 01:09:34,967 --> 01:09:37,447 Male Genitals of the Year. 1105 01:09:40,807 --> 01:09:42,218 And the winner... 1106 01:09:42,367 --> 01:09:46,577 ...and the new record-holder of 12 Adult Film awards.... 1107 01:09:48,247 --> 01:09:49,612 Bucky Larson! 1108 01:10:33,447 --> 01:10:35,370 So I asked Miles if he wanted to hang out... 1109 01:10:35,527 --> 01:10:38,895 ...but he said he got an eight ball. So I guess he's gonna go play pool. 1110 01:10:44,647 --> 01:10:49,096 So it's pretty cool that we both won awards on the same night. 1111 01:10:49,767 --> 01:10:52,338 What do you mean, "we"? I didn't win anything. 1112 01:10:52,487 --> 01:10:53,932 Oh, yeah, you didn't hear? 1113 01:11:00,608 --> 01:11:02,098 What the heck is this? 1114 01:11:02,487 --> 01:11:05,297 Open it. This is your award ceremony. 1115 01:11:06,087 --> 01:11:08,010 Bucky, you didn't have to give me anything. 1116 01:11:08,727 --> 01:11:11,173 I didn't. You won it. 1117 01:11:12,128 --> 01:11:18,010 And now, for waitress of the year or millennium, Kathy McGee! 1118 01:11:21,568 --> 01:11:24,048 Oh, flip it over, read the back. 1119 01:11:25,287 --> 01:11:28,291 "Congratulations to the best waitress in the world. 1120 01:11:28,448 --> 01:11:31,213 Nobody carries food better." 1121 01:11:33,607 --> 01:11:35,291 That's you. 1122 01:11:35,888 --> 01:11:38,858 I didn't plan on winning anything tonight, so, you know, I just.... 1123 01:11:39,008 --> 01:11:42,808 -I thought you should get a trophy. -Thank you, Bucky. 1124 01:11:42,967 --> 01:11:47,211 You know, I've never won anything before. 1125 01:11:47,927 --> 01:11:53,093 I've never been to any fancy award shows and.... 1126 01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:57,412 I've never had a guy treat me like a star. 1127 01:11:59,447 --> 01:12:03,532 And I've never had anyone believe in me the way that you do. 1128 01:12:04,007 --> 01:12:07,216 Yeah, of course. You deserve it, Kathy. 1129 01:12:19,367 --> 01:12:23,133 -What is that for? -For being you. 1130 01:12:25,927 --> 01:12:28,897 You know, Bucky, I was thinking... 1131 01:12:29,888 --> 01:12:33,449 ...since you've never done it with any of the girls in your videos... 1132 01:12:33,607 --> 01:12:38,374 ...and, you know, I've never done it, either... 1133 01:12:40,087 --> 01:12:42,693 ...I was thinking that maybe we could do it together. 1134 01:12:42,848 --> 01:12:47,854 -So you're a Virgo too? -Yeah. 1135 01:12:49,767 --> 01:12:53,169 But if we're going to do this, then we have to be careful, okay? 1136 01:12:53,328 --> 01:12:55,490 My mother said that protection... 1137 01:12:55,648 --> 01:12:57,776 ...is just as important for you as it is for me. 1138 01:12:57,927 --> 01:12:59,167 Yeah, sure, sure. 1139 01:12:59,648 --> 01:13:04,131 -Okay. Do you have any protection? -Do I have a knife? 1140 01:13:31,488 --> 01:13:33,138 Try that. 1141 01:13:47,168 --> 01:13:48,454 It fits. 1142 01:14:01,408 --> 01:14:03,456 You've got hair too. 1143 01:14:23,047 --> 01:14:24,651 Kathy? 1144 01:14:28,007 --> 01:14:30,897 Kathy? Where are you, sweet pea? 1145 01:14:31,527 --> 01:14:33,131 There you are. 1146 01:14:33,287 --> 01:14:37,417 Good morning. Look at you, carrying a tray like a pro. 1147 01:14:37,568 --> 01:14:40,492 -It's not a big deal. -Kathy.... 1148 01:14:41,527 --> 01:14:43,529 That was so great last night. 1149 01:14:43,927 --> 01:14:46,089 With all the kissing and the cuddling... 1150 01:14:46,727 --> 01:14:49,697 ...and the pushing and the bumping. 1151 01:14:50,887 --> 01:14:53,094 That was the best night of my life. 1152 01:14:53,287 --> 01:14:55,176 And I'm not even talking about the awards. 1153 01:14:55,488 --> 01:14:59,174 I could careless about that. I'm talking about... 1154 01:14:59,328 --> 01:15:01,251 ...just being with you. 1155 01:15:02,407 --> 01:15:06,731 Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty cool, I guess. 1156 01:15:08,807 --> 01:15:12,653 You know, Bucky, I've been thinking about it... 1157 01:15:13,207 --> 01:15:18,088 ...and last night was really fun and everything... 1158 01:15:18,247 --> 01:15:23,492 ...and I just think, you know, since it was my first time... 1159 01:15:23,648 --> 01:15:27,369 ...that I should explore all my options. 1160 01:15:29,767 --> 01:15:34,489 Just really get out there and have other experiences with other guys. 1161 01:15:35,047 --> 01:15:37,448 Other--? Other guys? 1162 01:15:37,808 --> 01:15:40,493 But I only want to do that with you. 1163 01:15:40,647 --> 01:15:43,730 Yeah. We're not married, Bucky. 1164 01:15:43,888 --> 01:15:46,892 We're young and we should have fun. 1165 01:15:47,047 --> 01:15:50,176 And I have to get an earlier flight back to L.A. 1166 01:15:50,327 --> 01:15:56,175 I picked up the dinner shift, and I'll see you later. Okay? 1167 01:15:56,327 --> 01:15:58,694 I don't understand. 1168 01:16:13,527 --> 01:16:15,814 -Hello? -Hey, up and at them, sunshine. 1169 01:16:15,968 --> 01:16:19,336 Me and J. Day have been at the airport all night trying to outrun airplanes. 1170 01:16:19,488 --> 01:16:21,377 Come on, meet us downstairs for breakfast. 1171 01:16:21,527 --> 01:16:23,689 I've got breakfast up here. 1172 01:16:23,847 --> 01:16:26,691 Fuck that. Let's go, down. 1173 01:16:30,087 --> 01:16:31,851 We're not stopping now, Bucky. 1174 01:16:32,167 --> 01:16:34,090 This is only the beginning. 1175 01:16:34,727 --> 01:16:36,172 Kathy left this morning. 1176 01:16:36,327 --> 01:16:40,616 That's what chicks do. They leave. That's how this shit works. 1177 01:16:40,768 --> 01:16:44,773 They're whores. Except Blueberry. 1178 01:16:46,407 --> 01:16:49,138 -We are taking it to the next level. -Oh, yes. 1179 01:16:49,287 --> 01:16:52,291 J. Day is producing all of our movies now. 1180 01:16:52,448 --> 01:16:56,169 He paid off the mafia and he wants to put you under an exclusive deal. 1181 01:16:56,327 --> 01:16:58,807 Men don't want to live in the shadows anymore. 1182 01:16:58,967 --> 01:17:00,935 They want to look down at their baby dick... 1183 01:17:01,088 --> 01:17:03,489 ...and pee and bang and be happy. 1184 01:17:03,648 --> 01:17:06,333 We think that, in our new movies, what you should do... 1185 01:17:06,487 --> 01:17:09,616 ...is you should actually have sex with the girls. 1186 01:17:10,247 --> 01:17:12,249 But what about what we've been doing? 1187 01:17:12,407 --> 01:17:16,890 The world's wondering if you can even get inside someone with that thing. 1188 01:17:17,767 --> 01:17:20,373 -But Kathy. I-- -Kathy's gone, man. 1189 01:17:20,528 --> 01:17:22,610 She's gone. She told you so. 1190 01:17:22,768 --> 01:17:26,090 She's probably on the plane right now, fucking another guy on her way home. 1191 01:17:26,247 --> 01:17:30,889 Yes, she's probably banging the pilot like crazy. "Kathy," you know? 1192 01:17:35,927 --> 01:17:38,168 Hey, Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. 1193 01:17:38,887 --> 01:17:41,288 This is about you now. 1194 01:17:41,447 --> 01:17:43,336 You gotta look to the future, man. 1195 01:17:45,447 --> 01:17:48,018 -Let's have a toast. -Let's drink to you, Bucky. 1196 01:17:48,167 --> 01:17:49,453 You're the big-- 1197 01:17:51,207 --> 01:17:54,575 I'm sorry. I think I just jizzed on you. 1198 01:17:55,328 --> 01:18:00,175 -I'm a lucky Internet chipmunk. -Come on, show some respect, Dick. 1199 01:18:00,327 --> 01:18:02,853 That's a joke, J. Day. 1200 01:18:03,527 --> 01:18:05,768 Why don't you show some respect to our industry? 1201 01:18:05,927 --> 01:18:07,338 Or to your manhood? 1202 01:18:07,488 --> 01:18:10,571 -You fucking wannabes. -Come on, Dick. 1203 01:18:11,527 --> 01:18:13,734 Nothing grows in my cock-shade. 1204 01:18:15,687 --> 01:18:17,257 Nothing. 1205 01:18:18,208 --> 01:18:20,210 Do you know what grows in your cock-shade? 1206 01:18:20,368 --> 01:18:23,417 A field of baby dicks. 1207 01:18:24,007 --> 01:18:25,930 I just still can't believe it, Pop. 1208 01:18:26,087 --> 01:18:29,216 I tried to call her. She didn't even answer the phone. 1209 01:18:29,367 --> 01:18:32,018 I don't know. She seemed like a good egg. 1210 01:18:32,167 --> 01:18:34,898 She was a beautiful egg. 1211 01:18:35,207 --> 01:18:37,096 Painted gold. 1212 01:18:38,208 --> 01:18:41,132 Laid by a diamond goose. 1213 01:18:41,287 --> 01:18:45,770 Now, look, son, you gotta buck up. You have to power through this. 1214 01:18:45,927 --> 01:18:48,578 You got a big movie to shoot. That's why you're out there. 1215 01:18:53,607 --> 01:18:55,655 Suck it, whore! 1216 01:19:03,808 --> 01:19:06,652 The weather is a little bit windy.... 1217 01:19:07,888 --> 01:19:10,494 -Here you go, Uncle Miles. -What the hell are you doing? 1218 01:19:11,127 --> 01:19:12,128 You said you wanted-- 1219 01:19:12,288 --> 01:19:15,576 I'm about to direct the biggest movie of my career. I don't wanna be high. 1220 01:19:15,728 --> 01:19:17,378 I want to be focused. 1221 01:19:17,527 --> 01:19:19,529 She moved out of your complex? 1222 01:19:20,567 --> 01:19:22,490 She won't even see me at her job. 1223 01:19:23,408 --> 01:19:26,218 That's heavy, man. I had a man leave me once. 1224 01:19:27,047 --> 01:19:30,847 One night, after he fucked me, he told me the smell is so brutal... 1225 01:19:31,008 --> 01:19:34,649 ...that he break up with me. And we were in love too. 1226 01:19:35,328 --> 01:19:38,252 But he said that the fumes from my backside... 1227 01:19:38,407 --> 01:19:41,934 ...that they make him gag and that they give him nightmares. 1228 01:19:42,487 --> 01:19:45,377 And he said that the sweat from my ass... 1229 01:19:45,527 --> 01:19:47,689 ...it could be used as a chemical weapon. 1230 01:19:48,528 --> 01:19:50,735 So I tried cleaning it and scrubbing it. 1231 01:19:50,887 --> 01:19:52,173 I used a car freshener. 1232 01:19:52,327 --> 01:19:55,058 Nothing. I tried eating only pineapple. 1233 01:19:55,207 --> 01:19:59,292 -What the fuck are you doing? -Nothing. Just talking about the movie. 1234 01:19:59,447 --> 01:20:03,338 There's no talking. Get the fuck out of his head. Get out of here! 1235 01:20:06,128 --> 01:20:08,335 Come on. Stand up, let me see the duds. 1236 01:20:14,807 --> 01:20:16,809 Good. Good, good. Perfect. 1237 01:20:16,967 --> 01:20:18,651 -Hey, Miles? -Yeah, Buck? 1238 01:20:21,127 --> 01:20:22,731 I just wanted to say thanks. 1239 01:20:23,927 --> 01:20:26,692 Thanks for bringing me my dreams. 1240 01:20:26,848 --> 01:20:28,657 And for being my friend. 1241 01:20:28,807 --> 01:20:32,016 -Of course, Bucky. -And my folks thank you too. 1242 01:20:32,167 --> 01:20:34,898 They know how tough this town can be... 1243 01:20:35,447 --> 01:20:39,452 ...and to have someone that's in your corner and that cares about you... 1244 01:20:39,607 --> 01:20:41,257 ...is real nice. 1245 01:20:55,367 --> 01:20:57,734 This rock is boiling, Miles. Can we go? 1246 01:20:57,888 --> 01:20:58,969 Relax. 1247 01:20:59,127 --> 01:21:02,415 You know how many girls would love to be tied to a hot rock... 1248 01:21:02,567 --> 01:21:06,413 ...waiting for Bucky Larson to try and put it in them? 1249 01:21:07,207 --> 01:21:11,053 We are rolling. Er-action! 1250 01:21:11,808 --> 01:21:17,053 The sun is beating down on me. I'm losing my mind. 1251 01:21:17,207 --> 01:21:20,654 Oh, no! It's Fucky Bucky. 1252 01:21:20,807 --> 01:21:23,777 Don't touch me, you dirty man. 1253 01:21:25,808 --> 01:21:29,779 Oh, no. The wind just blew my clothes off. 1254 01:21:34,928 --> 01:21:36,418 She's good actress. 1255 01:21:39,527 --> 01:21:42,656 Come on, buddy. Pound her. 1256 01:21:58,247 --> 01:21:59,533 Cut! 1257 01:22:06,848 --> 01:22:10,773 -I can't let you do this, Buck. -Why, what happened? 1258 01:22:12,727 --> 01:22:14,570 I got a confession to make, Bucky. 1259 01:22:16,567 --> 01:22:20,288 Kathy didn't leave you on her own. I told her to do it. 1260 01:22:20,807 --> 01:22:23,697 -What? -That morning in Las Vegas... 1261 01:22:23,847 --> 01:22:26,168 ...at the hotel, we'd been up partying all night... 1262 01:22:26,327 --> 01:22:29,536 ...and J. Day gave me the news about our new deal. 1263 01:22:29,687 --> 01:22:33,134 And I ran into Kathy in the restaurant and she was so happy... 1264 01:22:33,287 --> 01:22:37,531 ...but I was so fucked up, I told her about our new plan... 1265 01:22:37,687 --> 01:22:39,769 ...to have you bang the chicks. 1266 01:22:41,207 --> 01:22:46,088 She looked horrified. She said you'd never want to do that. 1267 01:22:46,247 --> 01:22:47,578 I just lost it. 1268 01:22:47,728 --> 01:22:50,334 I told her that this is why you come out here. 1269 01:22:50,487 --> 01:22:51,648 This was your destiny. 1270 01:22:51,808 --> 01:22:54,778 And that she'd be selfish if she stood in your way. 1271 01:22:54,928 --> 01:22:59,968 She started to cry and I said to her that... 1272 01:23:00,247 --> 01:23:03,171 ...if she cared about you... 1273 01:23:03,328 --> 01:23:06,969 ...that she'd cut you loose and let you be great. 1274 01:23:09,767 --> 01:23:12,452 I had no right to do that. 1275 01:23:13,767 --> 01:23:14,893 She loved you. 1276 01:23:16,167 --> 01:23:18,534 You meant the world to her. 1277 01:23:19,687 --> 01:23:22,577 And I don't want to see you make the same mistakes I did. 1278 01:23:26,208 --> 01:23:28,449 You need to go to Kathy. 1279 01:23:28,848 --> 01:23:31,215 You need to go right now. 1280 01:23:37,968 --> 01:23:39,936 I forgive you, Miles. 1281 01:23:45,207 --> 01:23:48,256 I'm gonna go tell her. I'm gonna tell her right now. 1282 01:24:01,008 --> 01:24:05,058 -Miles, where's he going? -He's gone, J. Day. 1283 01:24:05,207 --> 01:24:06,891 But I need that horse! 1284 01:24:07,047 --> 01:24:10,369 He's the star of another movie I'm doing in Germany. 1285 01:24:11,047 --> 01:24:13,254 Horse-cock Island. 1286 01:24:32,087 --> 01:24:33,612 God gave me a magic wand. 1287 01:24:33,767 --> 01:24:35,929 Why wouldn't I want to cast love spells? 1288 01:24:36,727 --> 01:24:39,128 You are the most aggressive person I have ever met. 1289 01:24:39,287 --> 01:24:41,289 It's ridiculous. 1290 01:24:41,927 --> 01:24:45,056 Is it ridiculous how much pleasure I could bring to your smell garden? 1291 01:24:46,048 --> 01:24:48,335 Trust me. I would be the best you ever had. 1292 01:24:48,487 --> 01:24:51,457 Dick, you are a dick. 1293 01:24:51,607 --> 01:24:54,372 You know why Bucky Larson is a bigger star than you now? 1294 01:24:55,367 --> 01:24:59,292 Because he showed people that it wasn't about having a giant wiener... 1295 01:24:59,447 --> 01:25:01,131 ...swinging between your legs. 1296 01:25:01,767 --> 01:25:05,249 It's about being a beautiful and caring partner. 1297 01:25:06,407 --> 01:25:09,616 And even though it broke my heart in two... 1298 01:25:10,327 --> 01:25:15,128 ...I knew it was more important for him to continue helping the world... 1299 01:25:15,287 --> 01:25:17,608 ...than for me to have happiness. 1300 01:25:20,048 --> 01:25:22,733 So you know what you need to do now? 1301 01:25:24,087 --> 01:25:25,896 Give you some good rebound sex? 1302 01:25:26,048 --> 01:25:28,528 Let you swing on my sweet meat? 1303 01:25:29,088 --> 01:25:30,738 No. You need to leave. 1304 01:25:31,408 --> 01:25:32,898 Look who's back. 1305 01:25:33,047 --> 01:25:36,813 Kathy, I remember the first time I saw you at the diner. 1306 01:25:36,967 --> 01:25:40,688 My heart stopped. My stomach felt funny. 1307 01:25:40,848 --> 01:25:42,691 I thought I had the flu. 1308 01:25:43,968 --> 01:25:47,575 But I didn't. It was you. 1309 01:25:48,327 --> 01:25:52,218 Being in those nude movies, that's not my destiny. 1310 01:25:52,368 --> 01:25:53,779 Being with you is. 1311 01:25:55,447 --> 01:25:56,812 You make my heart smile. 1312 01:25:56,967 --> 01:26:00,016 -Does your heart have buck teeth too? -Shut your cock. 1313 01:26:03,847 --> 01:26:07,932 What I'm trying to say is I love you, Kathy. 1314 01:26:08,407 --> 01:26:09,852 I love you too, Bucky. 1315 01:26:16,727 --> 01:26:19,128 -Will you do me a favour? -Yeah. 1316 01:26:19,287 --> 01:26:22,814 Will you give me a ride home to Iowa? 1317 01:26:23,767 --> 01:26:24,973 With honours. 1318 01:26:35,767 --> 01:26:37,929 I smell a garden. 1319 01:26:44,007 --> 01:26:46,578 Ride, little dick. Ride. 1320 01:27:15,927 --> 01:27:20,137 -Do I have chips in my teeth? -No, you don't have any teeth. 1321 01:27:20,288 --> 01:27:23,337 -Jeremiah. -Well, she doesn't. 1322 01:27:23,488 --> 01:27:24,489 Oh, my. 1323 01:27:24,647 --> 01:27:26,809 Table 17. And thank you for coming. 1324 01:27:26,967 --> 01:27:29,618 Hey, best steaks and service in the state, Bucky. 1325 01:27:29,767 --> 01:27:31,007 That's my wife's doing. 1326 01:27:31,168 --> 01:27:34,490 Hey, honey, there's a table in back, wants to take a picture with you. 1327 01:27:34,647 --> 01:27:38,049 Yeah, sure. Jeez, how many bowls you got there? 1328 01:27:38,208 --> 01:27:41,291 -Seven. It's my new record. -No way. 1329 01:27:43,488 --> 01:27:45,570 You owe me rent money, fucker! 1330 01:27:45,728 --> 01:27:48,459 -Gary, no! -You're just like John Mayer! 1331 01:27:48,608 --> 01:27:50,258 Just like John Mayer. 1332 01:27:50,458 --> 01:27:59,058 [[Synced By: Aboodi12]] Retail Spell Checked (My Own Rip)