(This program contains subject matter and language)
(that may be disturbing to some viewers.)
(Viewer discretion is advised.)
Teens in general think they’re invincible
but they think things can’t happen to them.
or me I wonder is my kid going to do this for the rest of his life.
If nobody’s going to step in, it’s not going to get better.
The kids are all just one decision away
from ending up in jail.
(Most inmates commit their first crime before age 18.)
I was charged for breaking and entering.
I’ve gotten in trouble for stealing, fighting and tagging.
We were drinking. I got in a car accident
about like two weeks ago and one of my friends died.
I steal cars, rob people
and do anything basically that can get me any money.
You want to be somebody.
Have some pride about yourself.
Right now all you are is a follower.
Your cellie choke you out,
don’t know police know until they come around and do counts.
Seeing you in here knocked out or half dead.
They’re coming after you.
Two on one, three on one, knife.
(This series follows inmate-run intervention programs)
(that expose at-risk teens to the realities of life behind bars.)
We got a bunk for you right here.
Right here. Come here. Right here.
(BEYOND SCARED STRAIGHT)
(SAN QUENTIN STATE PRISON San Quentin, California)
San Quentin is a historic prison.
We’re the oldest facility here in the state of California.
San Quentin has a long history
of being one of the most violent institutions.
This prison houses gang members, murderers, rapists, serial killers.
We house Richie Ramirez the night stalker of LA
and Richard Allen Davis who murdered Polly Klaas.
There are currently nearly seven hundred men
on death row at San Quentin.
(Teens Arrive at Prison 8:00 a.m.)
How long are we going to be here for?
Till like seven o’clock.
- Oh for real? - Seven at night time?
The SQUIRES program is the oldest youth diversion program
any where in the country.
SQUIRES stands for
San Quentin’s utilization of inmate resources experiences and studies.
Kalani’s here too?
- What’s up man? How are you doing? - I’m doing good.
What we hope is that the youth come here
and spend time with the inmates
and really see it and feel it and smell it for themselves.
It’s really eye opening.
So we going in or what’s going on?
They’re kind of at their turning point.
They need to make a decision where to take their lives.
Our ideal is to try to influence each one of these kids today.
If just one of these kids are able to head in a different direction,
SQUIRES has worked.
Line up right here. Get in line, right now.
You got an attitude?
Do you got an attitude? I ask you.
Line up in line. Straight line. You, move.
Stretch your arms out to your right and left of you.
Do not hold hands. I know some of you want to do that.
Matter of fact, some of you I can tell already
will be made and turn into
their lovers.
To my left is Officer McNab.
He is going to patch you down. It’s called a clothed body search.
Any disrespect to these men you will answer to me.
Is that understood?
- Is that understood? - Yeah.
Turn around. Arms up. Do not drop your arms.
There you go.
Don’t need those.
we got a gambler among us.
- Keep your arms up. - I’m gambling you’ll be back.
I’m Julio. I’m seventeen.
I steal cars, rob people,
and do anything basically that can get me any money.
It’s my rap book by the way.
Rappers slash smokers slash drinkers slash smokers slash everything.
Everything.
I’ve been doing crime since I was eleven. I’m seventeen now.
I’ve only been locked up twice.
He hasn’t like come to class a lot
because he’s gotten caught for drugs or he’s gotten in fights.
I got stabbed five times. One inch away from my artery.
I just sometimes feel like I’m blessed.
You know, I should have died like plenty of times now.
Julio’s making some really poor decisions
that are going to lead him down the path to either jail or death.
I just believe I have a purpose on this earth,
that’s why I’ve been untouchable so far.
I got to get a drink.
My current job is you know I work at a tire shop.
I like working with cars.
I can make any kind of key on that machine right there.
Take any car under the year two thousand.
I would steal cars for, for reasons.
If I needed to go somewhere far
I would steal a car.
My mom
she has a lot of bills to pay
and no dad, and no, nobody helping her.
I do what I can to help her out with the money.
I don’t have any remorse. I’m a man, you know I’m not emotional.
Let the girls cry and pray
Ane we go out and work... and rob...
Turn around for me.
- Do you have anything sharp on you? - No.
Your mommy and daddy loved you and made excuses for you.
There is no excuse except your stupid.
My name is Ian. I’m fifteen years old
and I’ve gotten into trouble for stealing, fighting and tagging.
I’ve gone to juvie three times.
I probably tagged a lot more than five hundred times.
It’s a way for people to see that is me,
like and I’m like up on that wall.
I think he just it’s sometimes you seek attention
in wherever way you can get it.
I’ve stolen like iPods, clothes, spraypaint.
I stole because I wanted something and I didn’t have the money to get it.
I’m on probation for tagging. If I violate my probation
I go to juvenile hall for forty-eight days minimum.
I think that if Ian were to get locked up
I think it would be devastating.
He and I used to be really close,
it’s not as close as we were for a long time.
I’m not really sure why.
Me and my mom do fight and like argue.
He lashes out. He’ll snap. I mean he just flies apart at me.
We yell and I punch walls and broke my hand.
I don’t really know what was going on. I was just really mad.
It makes me feel like I’m not a good mom.
It makes me feel bad. A lot.
In five years I see myself going to college
or making one wrong choice, slipping up and going to jail.
It’s about time you start making some good choices.
Not dead on some corner. Not with some needle on your veins,
cause that’s where you’re going to end up.
My name is Kalani. I’m seventeen.
I smoke weed, I sell weed
and I’m on probation for breaking and entering.
I love smoking weed.
I have a zigzag blunt wrap with some Mary Jane in it.
Kalani’s on probation for breaking and entering
into a house and stealing someone’s marijuana.
I smoke like two or three blunts a day.
I’ve been smoking since I was twelve.
I grew up watching people smoke weed.
I guess I also smoke when I’m trying to get away from problems.
He has brought a weed pipe to school
and he’s gotten in trouble for urinating on the grounds.
I’m high up on it.
But it’s not like I’m addicted to weed.
It’s just I’m addicted to just smoke.
Kalani’s father has been in San Quentin
and serviced time there. He’s out now.
And I think Kalani getting in trouble that’s how he relates to his father.
I do not want to see him repeat history.
Like I mean I could act good
but basically the times that I’ve got caught doing things
were the times where I was just like beep it,
I don’t give a beep about anything right now.
You know? Like
just whatever.
Right now all you are is a follower.
Be an individual,
choose to tell your friends no.
My name’s Vini,
I’m seventeen years old and I sell weed.
To me selling weed isn’t really that big of a deal.
How much you need?
My mom and sister don’t know
because I don’t really make sells in front of my house
or down the street I’ll be somewhere else.
You want me to come by your house?
My dad he left when I was three
cause he had a drinking problem.
I don’t know if he would have stick around
things would have been way different.
I got in a car accident about like two weeks ago.
And we were drinking. It was a fatal car crash.
Vini and some friends decided to cut school
and decided to start drinking really early in the day.
I guess we were hitting like
eighty miles per hour on a turn or something.
And we ended up getting hit by a big rig carrying cattle.
Because of the car accident like my bones are bruised
so I can’t really get up and move around.
The driver I’ve known him since sixth grade,
he had like a broken hip and one of my friends died.
He was the closest person to me. He was with me every day.
And I wouldn’t allow to consider him as a friend, he was family to me.
This should have been the biggest wake up call you could get.
And I don’t feel like he’s using it in a good way.
Right now it’s a big cross road but I do think I’m successful.
I’m taking a risk, that’s what it’s about.
It’s no point in doing something if you’re not taking a risk.
I bid you a good day, I hope you have a horrible day and never come back.
You think there’s a sniper in there?
Hell yeah. Probably two of them.
Last man close the gate.
Some of the state’s most dangerous criminals
reside here in San Quentin.
Follow him.
And the youth that are coming in today
are about to meet them face to face.
This is not a field trip.
This is not some place where you come and you play.
We don’t want you here.
(S.Q.U.I.R.E.S. PROGRAM San Quentin State Prison)
(Some of the states most dangerous criminals reside here in San Quentin.)
And the youth that are coming in today are about to meet them face to face.
You need to understand this is not a field trip.
This is not some place where you come and you play.
My name is Shahid. I’m C oh, thirty-seven, twenty-one,
been down since nineteen seventy-eight for first-degree murder.
This is about your life.
We’re serious about this.
The whole bunch of beep out there.
We’re going to talk about what you did.
We don’t want you here.
So this ain’t going to be no fun for you.
You need to understand that.
The most important thing with you guys is to stay in line.
If you hear an alarm just squat down like this.
Don’t move, just squat down right where you’re at.
You guys understand that?
When I walk, you guys come follow. Let’s go.
Keep up. Come up this way.
They bringing some kids in here.
- Everyone’s looking at me. - I know. It’s like what the beep.
Step inside please.
(Receiving & Release 9:15 a.m.)
This right here
inside is where your prison experience begins.
This is called R and R.
Everybody that comes to this place and leaves this places
goes through here.
My name is David. My numbers C, seven, zero, zero, one, six.
I’ve been incarcerated for twenty-seven years.
Alright when you come up off the bus
you’re going to get butt ass naked
and you’re going to get strip searched.
Including him. Even though he’s in a wheel chair.
They still will make him strip.
How many of you guys been in county? County jail?
Darnell, prisoner number H, forty-five, three, four, three.
Ten to life sentence for kidnap, robbery.
Been down almost twenty-one years.
Raise your hand if you’ve been locked up before.
I’ve been to juvie.
You’ve been to juvie so you’ve been stripped down butt naked?
- Yeah. - You had a man
talking about let me see you up under your tongue, pull your lip out.
Then after he says let me see up under your tongue, pull your lip out.
Did you know what he say?
Now let me see up under your nut sack.
So you went straight from your mouth to your nut sack?
Did you notice that?
Right? They want you to turn around, let me see your butt cheeks.
Now why do men want to look at my butt cheeks?
What am I going to put in there?
- A weapon. - Drugs or weapon.
That lets you know how degrading prison is.
This outfit? Run free.
I had to violate and disrespect my family
for this orange, how ugly outfit.
This is what I earned.
This is what else I earned.
You see this bag? This is called a survival kit.
This is all that they give you.
Tell me what is the most important thing in that kit.
- What do you say? - Pencil.
- Alright.
- The toothpaste. - The toothpaste.
Once you use the toothpaste where do you get some more from?
You’re going to trade or something.
You’re going to trade, trade with what?
The trade that I know about in prison
is not another toothpaste if you don’t have toothpaste.
You know what I’m talking about.
- Sexual. - Sexual favors?
Cause they got guys in here that does that to survive.
So you guys said pencils why?
So you can write to someone.
You don’t have no paper so what are you going to write on?
The walls.
Well you right because guys do write on wall.
So who’s the tagger in here?
They get you time for writing on walls in here.
We can go.
Questions? No? Let’s go.
It’s real, that’s what it comes down to, that bad.
See that guy right there? In the tower right there?
He’s the craziest police in the whole pen.
- For real? - And he’s the guy with a gun.
This is the worst of the worst. This is the sess pool man.
(West Block Showers 10:22 a.m.)
- Want to take a shower? - What?
Want to take a shower?
Jimmy. Okay listen up real quick.
I want you to close your eyes
and do everything that I tell you to do.
My name is Ernest, H, zero, five, zero, six, three.
Been down twenty-three years on a fifteen to life sentence for murder.
Close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes.
Smell, take a big whiff, take a deep breath.
Inhale hard.
You smell a combination of a lot of things.
You smell fear, you smell anger,
and with all do respect you smell passion.
This is the beginning of possibly the rest of your life.
School for survival starts when you come in here. 强者才能到回学校 从你们踏进这里的一刻就是如此
Christmas Day one dude lost it because he wasn’t at with his family. 圣诞节那天 有个人受不了了 因为他没能和家人在一起
He went down to the shower and he started sticking people. 他来到洗浴间用刀捅人
He didn’t care who it was, 他根本不在乎是谁
he stuck nine people in the process of that day. 那天他捅了九个人
In prison there is no place that you can hide. 在监狱 你们无处躲藏
When it’s time to go, it’s time to go. 什么时间就做什么事
How many of you guys like to take showers by yourselves? 有哪些人想自己洗澡的
My name is Kevin, C, eight, six, five, one, eight. 我叫凯文 C86518
My thing is you reach one, you teach one. 我想做的就是见一个教一个
And all kids are worth saving. 所有的孩子都不该被放弃
Raise your hand. You got ten showerheads in here. 手举起来 这里有十个淋浴头
Those showerheads belong to different ethnic groups. 分别属于不同的群体
You come down, they don’t tell you what shower head go to. 你们来的时候 没人告诉你们用哪一个
You find a barrier, 所以你们要找一个屏障
you going down there to be in the quip shower. 到喷头下面快点完事
You’ve got problems man. 这是你们的问题
You got to deal with it, naked ass and all. 你们得面对它 光着腚也要解决
For the life of me what I don’t understand is man, 我怎么也不明白
why would you want to give your life up 你们为什么要放弃自己的生活
to come in a place like this knowing what you know? 明知道后果 还来这样一个地方
But yet and still you insist 但是你们坚持
on going out there doing the things that you’re doing. 出门做那些事
Treat yourself, don’t cheat yourself man. 善待自己 别欺骗自己
Self respect and self love, 自尊 自爱
that’s what’s going to keep you out of here. 才是能让你们离开这里的东西
Let’s go. 走吧
I wouldn’t touch that. 我才不碰它
(West Block Cells 11:14 a.m.) （西区监狱 上午11点14分）
West Block is a five story-housing unit.
It’s loud. The men are really aggressive.
It can be a very intimidating experience.
We haven’t taken showers in a week.
All these guys in one place, it’s total chaos.
- It’s hard to even concentrate. - Oh yeah, it’s loud.
Don’t do this.
Guys do commit suicide and jump off.
I’m stuck in here. They won’t let us out.
Right here. We got a bunk for you right here.
Right now and unbunked.
We got room for you. Come here.
Welcome to hell.
(West Block Cells 11:20 a.m.)
Welcome to hell.
When you guys leave today I want you to think about this.
Nine o’clock tonight
I’m going to be locked up in a cell exactly like this.
That toilet right there only flushes three times an hour.
It’s on a timer in the back.
So imagine having to live with somebody
and you got to time your beep so that way you can beep
and flush and so he can beep and flush.
Notice there is nobody to push and say hey man,
me and my cellie not getting along. I need help.
If two cellies living together me and cab get into it.
He knock me out before I knock him out.
Won’t no police know it until they come around
and do count and see me in there knocked out or half dead.
They won’t even know what happened.
Something go wrong with you it’s going to go wrong all the way bad
and the only person you got to depend on is the one you living with.
That’s dangerous. I want you guys to really feel this
and see what this is about because you were not end up in this cell.
That leg is your bad leg?
Don’t run over her.
Go ahead go ahead, go ahead.
Watch your step.
Hold up right here. Hold up right here.
Face this way.
Take a look at this. These are your bathroom facilities.
When you come out here to use the restroom
it doesn’t matter who passes by here.
If you got to take a crap that’s where you got to take it at.
Pull a gun at you right there.
It’s not about your privacy.
When you’re out here on the yard
you have to bring your own toilet paper.
If you don’t have your own toilet paper
then me, you have to do a Daniel boom.
That’s what you are potentially going to do to yourself.
That’s an opportunity.
You’re a mark. Use somebody to be killed.
Because you’re more busy about watching your butt
than you are protecting your life.
Well you’re going to be on this yard with a hundred other men
somebody standing around protecting you
while you’re taking a crap.
This is an example of what you’re going to live
if you keep doing what you’re doing.
Come on. Let’s roll.
See that right there?
He’s got his gun out. He’s got his mini fourteen out.
That’s why they have all the guys on death row.
All the way down there, that’s the whole building.
Ya’ll walking too slow, you got to stay with the crowd.
(Death Row 12:12 p.m.)
Tell me, what does that say up there?
- Condemned row. - Condemned row.
Can you imagine walking through here and knowing that you’re going to die?
Some of those guys have been sitting up there twenty something years
waiting to die.
I want you to think about the crimes
that you’re committing right now up there.
Car hopping, robbing folks,
running up in people’s houses.
You out there, you might have to protect your product man
and you know that’s a cut throat game man.
Problems you got to have to pack some meat.
Guy comes tries to rob you
your home boys standing there with you.
He gets shot, you shoot the other guy.
That is a capital case.
I’m going to mention three strikes because
you are starting a paper trail on yourself now.
(CALIFORNIA 3-STRIKES LAW:)
(Individuals convicted of 3 felonies, can face up to life in prison.)
All those things add up.
We’ve had guys that have been in here, they kept getting denied parole.
Why? Because of their a juvenile record.
I just met a guy the other day a three striker.
You know what his third strike was?
He had a thing with some residue in it,
for some crystal meth.
Twenty eighty-four
is when he’s eligible to go see the parole board.
So don’t think it can never happen to you. Because it can.
Time to go gentlemen, it’s time to roll.
Come up this way, come up this way.
Alright you guys, stay close.
Keep these guys tight alright?
Don’t be stretching out all over the place.
Let’s go. Right here is good.
Now what we’re going to do is have Curtis talked to you about
what he’s in here for,
why and how it impacted his life.
You guys, my name’s Curtis.
I’ve been in for sixteen years now.
I walked into a liquor store,
high on drugs and I stole forty dollars.
No weapon, no gun, nobody killed.
California, three strikes, they don’t care about
how bad it is.
They’re just going to give you as much time as they possibly can.
I have fifty years to life.
The first time I’m eligible for parole is the year twenty forty-four.
So that’s thirty-four more years I got to do in here.
This is my life.
More likely I will die in here.
And the way I live, I hope that happens soon.
Cause this is awful. Awful, awful.
I want to tell you guys one other thing,
I was raped in here.
The cops can’t stop it.
The other inmates don’t stop it,
it just happens.
You feel so violated.
All you want to do is commit suicide.
You guys, this is not the life you want.
For forty dollars, fifty years to life.
(Code 2 Alarm)
Get down.
Whenever an alarm happens we have to freeze.
Because no telling when they’re going to let us out of here.
You guys, this is not the life you want.
For forty dollars. Fifty years to life.
Get down,
Whenever the alarm happens, we have to freeze.
Because there’s no telling when they’re going to let us out of here.
I consider you a friend. We know each other pretty well.
Tell the young men how you feel day to day
cause they seem to think that when you come to prison
you’re still able to maintain
as you were on the streets mentally and physically.
Well I’ve been on suicide watch four times.
Suicide watch is they hand cuff you first.
They strip you of all your clothes
and then they put you in a, it’s like a heavy quilt blanket
and they put you in an isolated cell by yourself.
And the pyschs come and visit you and they talk to you
and find out what’s going on.
With my case it’s just a number of years.
You know the fifty years is just,
it’s hopeless.
My family’s disowned me.
My wife left me when I came in here. I haven’t seen my child.
It devastates your world.
I beg you guys.
You don’t want this.
He just wanted to help one of you today.
He just wants one of you to leave today to remember Curtis.
And someone to tell you how your life can change that fast.
And it don’t matter what age you are.
Is it clear?
Single file please.
Stay close.
Single file gentlemen.
(S.Q.U.I.R.E.S. Inmate Stories 11:34 a.m.)
My name is Shahid.
Been down since nineteen seventy-eight
for first-degree murder. Seven up.
It is all desire to communicate
but you need to understand something about me.
I get nervous when I’m in this setting.
I get nervous because this is serious to me.
I’m afraid because I don’t, I don’t want to say the right thing to you.
I want to say something that will change your life.
But you need to understand too.
That if you feel like you can come in here and you can bull shit me
because you got a face, you got a mouth, you can use the tongue
then you’ve got another thing coming.
Cause if you try to twist my head, trust me,
I’m going to try to twist yours.
My name is David.
And just the biggest thing I want to tell you guys
before we actually start and get into our stories is that
hurt people hurt people.
K, nine, six, six, four, nine.
I’ve been incarcerated since I was fifteen years old
second-degree gang related murder. And I’m serving fifteen years to life.
So to understand that the things that you’re doing now,
you’re doing it because something’s wrong inside of you.
Something hurts that’s making you want to lash out.
And I can say that cause I’ve been through it
and I know why I killed somebody at fifteen years old.
Because I was hurt and I wanted to put that pain on somebody else
so just think about that when you guys are speaking
that hurt people hurt people.
Now the question is up to you now.
I need somebody to tell me what respect means to them.
I don’t know, like treat them good and they treat you good back.
Who do you stay at home with?
- My mom. - How does she feel about you tagging?
- Does she know? - Yeah, she knows.
But she doesn’t like it.
But you love your mother so you number one?
Yeah, I don’t do anything.
I love her but like I don’t respect her
like the way I should respect her.
Okay, so what do you do to hurt your mother? Let’s count that off.
Yell at her, tell her to go to her room.
- I pretty much tell her what to do. - Okay what else?
Like,
- I don’t know. - You cuss her out.
You do all these different things but you’re smiling at the same time.
So to me you think that’s just funny.
No I don’t think it’s funny,
- I’m just smiling. - So why are you smiling?
I don’t know.
You feel that it’s alright for you to say to her
what you want to say to her anytime you want to say
but she’s the one taking care of your ass.
She’s is the one to put food in your mouth.
She watches over you.
What do you do? You cuss her out?
You’re a cocky little beep
you are, you really are?
And I can see it’s written all over your face.
You think this beep is funny. It’s not funny man.
Let me tell you about tagging partner,
we lost a kid about seven years ago
because he was tagging and he wouldn’t stop.
He tagged a man’s place in San Francisco and he killed him.
- Is that what you want? - No.
Cause if you go and destroy the right people’s property
they’re going to come get with your ass man.
And you’re not going to like it.
You need a reality check little boy.
You want to be treated like a young man,
start acting like a young man.
What’s up Julio?
What you think about what you hearing?
I’m hearing about how we respect our mothers
while how we think we respect them but really we don’t.
- Do you use drugs? - Yeah.
All right, what about weapons? You carry weapons?
I try not to no more.
You try not to no more. What was your weapon of choice?
Before it was a knife. What it always has been.
I mean it’s for protection. I don’t carry weapons to hurt somebody.
I’ve just had knives been pulled out on me
and then I don’t have one to pull it back so
I gets stabbed and the person just runs off.
I think that’s the biggest misconception about weapons
and whatever gang.
I didn’t carry a guy to protect myself because a gun never protects you.
Trust me it doesn’t.
If you pull out a knife that just means
he’s going to stab you faster.
Because he’s got to get you before you get him.
It doesn’t help the situation, trust me it doesn’t.
Right? There’s something that you’re doing
that you have to carry a knife for.
That’s the issue that you need to deal with.
And that’s what I’m saying when we talk about hurt people, hurt people,
what’s hurting you to put you in that lifestyle in the first place
so where you even have to carry a knife.
Probably drugs.
The people I choose to hang around.
Like I try to kick it with you know good kids or
you know people that don’t use or people that aren’t too into crime.
It’s just that’s when I feel like I don’t fit in.
This is apart of your maturity right now.
Because up here you’re still a kid
so this is the part where you’re going to have to say you know,
either I’m going to be a grown man,
I’m going to grow up right now or I’m not.
We want to go to Kalani.
I think you need to let the guys know that your father was here
in West Block where we just came from.
So how does it make you feel now
that he’s in your life after being gone for so long?
Well, I’m glad that he’s back you know.
And I know he’s safe cause anything can happen here.
Does he scare you off from here?
The last time he came out
he did show me like a whole bunch of things that happened to him.
Like rubber bullets and like tear gas,
just cause he was out in the yard and like he didn’t.
He just showed me stuff like that you know.
So he expressed to you the danger of coming to prison.
Yeah.
Maybe you need to sit down and talk to your father.
Dad, I need to know what’s going on when you was my age.
What made you to be in prison?
You have to help him be a father.
Would you be willing to do that?
Yeah. I mean,
I’m willing to do it but I’m not going to say I’m going to do it.
Maybe I’ll tell him the reason why I’m smoking weed and acting out
is because I feel like you weren’t there for me or something.
No, there ain’t no something. That’s it.
The worst thing you can do is what you’re doing to your father.
He told you those stories about how it was in prison
cause he hoped it would discourage you
from even thinking about taking that path.
And what are you doing?
Taking that path.
What’s up with you man?
Being in a wheel chair thing, you roll up in a wheel chair.
- I was in a car accident. - Car accident.
How did that come about?
- Well my friends was drinking. - He was drunk?
Yeah.
What kind of lifestyle were you living before that occurred?
Smoking weed,
- kicking it with my friends. - Smoking weed.
- Selling weed. - Selling weed.
- Was your stuff any good? - My stuff is the bomb.
The bomb?
Now after this accident is that given you an opportunity to reflect,
to start thinking about your life and your future?
Yeah I have. I lost, I lost my best friend in that car accident.
So that must be really tough right now.
Yeah, there’s no one like him.
No one can ever replace him like
just how he was too much too explain.
Who provided the drink?
I can’t remember nothing from that day
If I don’t want to remember it, what am I saying?
I don’t know nothing about that day because I don’t want to remember it.
Which means you’re making a choice.
I don’t want to go through that pain,
so as soon as I get healed I’m going to get high
and continue doing what I’ve been doing.
I don’t want to remember it
because that’s the day I lost my best friend.
I understand. This is the biggest day of your life. Somebody’s dead.
You have to learn from this experience because if you don’t.
And you hold everything in like I did. I held it all in
cause my brother was killed by a drunk driver.
I didn’t tell nobody it hurt.
I didn’t tell nobody what I saw.
When I saw my brother died, I didn’t say that.
I held it in.
And at a fifteen-year-old kid paid for it.
And I pulled a gun out at him
and I shoot him five times in the chest.
And you’re this close to being me
so wake up.
I lost my best friend in that car accident.
- What was his name? - Isaac.
Isaac.
That was your boy.
You took part in his death right?
So everything you do from this day on
you have to show that his life, Isaac’s life didn’t go in vein.
In that essence what is it going to be?
Do it for him.
How you honor somebody’s death you give somebody else’s life.
This is the payment that we get is giving somebody’s life.
And that’s the healing process for you
because I wish I could trade places with you right now.
This life sentence I got.
I wish I could go home in that wheel chair. You took my place.
That’s how bad this hurts.
We got to wrap it up.
Hey we appreciate you guys, you guys are man enough to face today.
You’re going to do well out there. You’ll succeed in life.
I learned a lot. Just one day here.
I’m the person responsible for my actions.
I’m going to think twice before I carry a weapon.
The hardest thing for me to come back as an inmate,
I wouldn’t want to, you know,
face these guys again
let them know that I let them down.
Come back and let us know how you’re doing. You hear me Kalani?
The experience was moving.
I was thinking about my dad when I was coming in here.
What if he was walking in the same place I’m walking right now.
They’re like, what if I was just in the cell that he was in.
This is no joke huh?
I feel like I’m less likely to follow in my father’s footsteps.
Ian, we appreciate you. You hear me Ian?
Coming here has been like make me not want to get in more trouble
cause I don’t want to come to prison.
The thing that like really like shocked me
was seeing all the inmates in just like
what if I was actually in one of those cells as like a real prisoner.
I’m just going to try a lot harder and be a better person.
- Man. - Thank you.
Think about your life man.
You’re living and know that you didn’t get the way you were
because it was one day.
I learned a lot today at the prison.
I have a big second chance. This huge eye opener for me.
You survived for a reason.
The inmates made me realize that
I can and will go to college and I’m going to succeed
cause it’s all up to me.
Always has been, always will.
(ONE MONTH LATER)
Since the prison visit I stopped selling weed.
I’m focusing on school more
and I’m trying to go to college so I can play football.
I told my mom that I was selling weed
and I feel good being honest with my mom
cause after everything that’s happened
that’s so I can be honest with her.
He tries to do well, although like all adolescents…
he makes mistakes, but we are here to help him…
as much as possible.
I think the huge challenge right now for Vini
is staying motivated with what he wants to do.
He still has a lot of loss that he’s going to have to work through.
The inmates helped me with the loss of my friend
by helping me accept it.
I got to honor his death.
That’s the main thing I took in, honor his death.
Doing what you got to do to succeed.
Whether school, whether it’s at work, anything.
I plan on doing big things.
- You alright? - Yeah.
Let’s go.
Since the prison visit
I think I’ve calmed some of my attitude down.
Like I still probably have some attitude like issues
like towards my mom.
- You have practice tomorrow. - Yeah.
We have our good days and we have our bad days
but I think also he’s a teenager so I think.
You know he’s doing well.
I just want to say thank you to the inmates.
They really like impacted me.
Telling me like give your mom respect.
She does everything for you and like all that.
She was the one that take care of your ass.
She was the one that put food in your mouth.
I apologized to her for like some of the attitudes
that I’ve had towards her
and like I’m just trying to make stuff better.
So do you want to go get something to eat?
- Are you hungry? - Yeah.
Ian’s really been working hard as far as changing.
He’s really not hanging with some of the people
that he was with before.
I think he’s trying to do the right thing.
I haven’t tagged, I haven’t smoked.
I haven’t gotten in trouble or anything.
And I’m doing community service.
Today I went and cleaned up some graffiti.
- Is that good? - That’s perfect.
I think that it was kind of good thing for me
like an eye opening thing.
Good job Ian.
Being like recognized as a good kid, not as like a tagger
makes me think that I can like try harder
and like actually be successful.
You have now officially become
a graffiti abatement person. Alright.
Do we have any lettuce in there?
Kalani’s prison visit
probably has brought up a level of emotions.
The feelings about his father not being in the picture
is really affecting him.
My opinion on my dad changed when I was in prison.
I felt like he chose being in the streets over me.
And Darnell helped me realize that
I was trying to follow my dad by doing these crimes.
I have seen my dad since the prison visit
but I didn’t really get a chance to tell him everything.
I do think that time will come that I explain to my dad how I feel.
I don’t know when it will.
I do still spend money on smoking weed.
I’ve always thought that Kalani self medicates by using marijuana
so I’m thinking this is how he’s trying to cope.
I think the seeds have been planted for Kalani
and change may not happen really quickly.
But it can happen over time.
- I have to keep up with you. - No, I walk fast.
- Well you have long legs and I don’t. - No, I just walk fast.
Life has been hard and I’m trying to better myself.
Since the prison visit basically I’m doing good in school.
We’ve received his progress report, which is phenomenal.
All A’s and B’s, and a C.
It says student is conscientious and motivated to learn
on almost every single class.
Goes on the fridge.
I think my life’s going to be different cause
I want to graduate high school and college and
you know have a life without going to prison.
I’m looking for the right path.
It’s hard to change. It’s like, you know I’m seventeen years old.
I can’t change who I am. You know,
no matter what I do. I can’t change what I can’t.
All I can do is better myself
and that’s what I’m attempting to do.
On the ride home I mean out of all the kids sitting in the car,
he was the one really sitting there reflecting
like he wants to make a change.
I think more than any kid that went that day.
The moment that affected me the most during the prison trip was
when Curtis came out and really spoke his story.
I was raped in here.
That’s something to think about because that’s your man hood.
I think if that would happen to me if I gone or you know,
and there’s nothing you can do about it. Damn.
Since the prison trip I don’t smoke weed no more.
I don’t steal no more. And I don’t try to hurt people
or don’t try to, you know, get into trouble anymore.
After school I’m working two, three days of the week,
full time on the weekends.
I need to help my mom with the income.
This is not something I like to do but it’s something I gotta do, you know?
I think Julio is really trying to busy himself
because trouble happens when he doesn’t have anything to do.
Other than my job I’m cutting hair on the side cause
it’s a talent I’ve always had since I was thirteen
and I used to do it as a hobby or a side thing
for my friends and family.
But now it’s actually bringing in some money so it’s like,
it feels good getting money legally.
I think the more that he just tries to change
and sees that it’s making an impact in his life
that that’s going to motivate him to keep making the change.
I want to thank the inmates because
they changed the way I see things, you know.
Since the prison trip I really just
don’t try to do anything that could risk my freedom
because you never know what little thing can turn into a big thing
and lead to big consequences.
(AT THE CONCLUSION OF PRODUCTION:)
(JULIO Police found pot residue)
(in Julio’s possession.)
(Though he says he’s clean, and told his brother to go straight,)
(Julio is in juvenile hall.)
(VINI Vini has stopped dealing marijuana,)
(but struggles to quit smoking it.)
(He hopes to play football in college.)
(IAN According to his mother,)
(Ian is much more respectful. He wants to clean up more graffiti.)
(KALANI After high school,)
(Kalani plans to study culinary arts.)
(He smokes pot but has quit other drugs.)