上帝啊 这一天还是来了 Oh, my god, it's happened!
图帕克的遗体被发现了! They found Tupac!
不是 埃迪 是你在刮胡子 No, eddie, you're...shaving.
啊 没错 Oh. yeah.
学校里有的女生开始叫我"大胡子"了 Some girls at school started calling me "cheech,"
所以我觉得是时候 So I figured it was time to --
"你可以拥有一个世界 这个世界的一切都是你的 "yours is the earth and everything that's in it.
更重要的是 孩子 你要变成顶天立地的男人了" And, which is more, you'll be a man, my son."
拉迪亚德·吉卜林的诗 Rudyard kipling.
- 爸 你在做什... - 嘘 我正拥抱你呢 - Dad, what are you -- -shh. i'm hugging you.
为啥? Why?
因为今天是个重要的日子 Because today is the day
你终于从一个男孩变成真正的男人了 You stop being a boy and start being a man.
坐下说 Take a lip.
在我和你妈妈发现我们怀的是个男孩时 When your mom and I found out we were having a baby boy,
你知道我做的第一件事是什么吗? You know the first thing I did?
在车里听着詹姆斯·泰勒一边掉眼泪 Cried in the car listening to james taylor.
妈妈已经跟我说过了 Mom already told me.
不是 我开车去药店买了两样东西 No, I drove to the drugstore and bought two things --
给我自己买了一包曼妥思薄荷糖 用来庆祝 A roll of celebratory mentos for myself
还有一把吉列加大号旋转剃须刀 给你的 And a gillette atra plus for you.
埃迪 那把剃须刀我已经在衣柜里保管了十四年了 Eddie, i've kept that razor in my closet for 14 years
就在等你要用它的那天 Waiting for the day you would need to use it.
现在这一天终于来了! Today is that day!
爸 看来这是我人生里的重要瞬间啊 Wow, dad, I guess this is a big moment for me.
你能和我一起见证真是太好了 I'm glad you're here for it.
我也是哦 Me, too.
我这就去拿你的旋转剃须刀 I'll go get your atra.
让这个垃圾从哪来回哪去 And, uh, let's put this where it belongs.
你打算告诉他你已经刮胡子几个月了吗
才不要 看他多开心 Nah. he's so happy.
就让他享受这一刻吧 I'm gonna let him have this.
我能拿回我们的刮胡刀吗
初来乍到 第4季 第14集
太精彩了 spectacular.
在女子花样滑冰比赛第一晚 And at the end of the first night
即将结束的时候 Of the women's figure skating event,
我们看到关颖珊选手排名第一 塔拉·利平斯基排名第二 It's michelle kwan first, tara lipinski second.
太棒了! Ohh, yes! yes! yes!
看 孩子们 就和我一直教育你们的一样 See, boys, it's just like i'm always telling you --
如果你认真刻苦 牺牲一切 If you work hard, sacrifice everything,
连扎那么紧的揪揪辫子都好看 你不可能输的 And look good in a tight bun, you can't lose.
关颖珊就是最好的证明 Michelle kwan is the proof.
我支持塔拉·利平斯基
真的吗 妈? 你支持利平斯基? Really, mom? lipinski?
她坚强 又美丽 渴望拿金牌
让我想起年轻的我
塔拉·利平斯基净忙着撩汉 Tara lipinski is too busy flirting with boys
还有往她的紧身衣上抹润滑油了 And wiping tater-tot grease on her leotard.
你们看她的脸 I mean, look at her face.
看着像个冠军的样子吗? Does that look like the face of a winner to you?
不像啊 No.
妈妈说的对 Mommy's right.
利平斯基缺少自我管理 Lipinski lacks the self-discipline
所以关颖珊就拿了冠军 That's made michelle kwan a champion.
金牌非她莫属啊 The gold is as good as hers.
我们明天能翘课看她的夺冠直播吗? Can we skip school tomorrow and watch her win in real time?
不许翘课! No skipping school!
但是我会录像 你们回家以后就能看了 But i'll tape it, and you can watch it when you get home.
现在该上床睡觉了 Now it's bedtime.
你们需要好好休息 You need to get your rest so you can grow up
才能变得像关颖珊那样小巧又沉着 To be small and poised like michelle kwan.
我听说她每晚睡九个小时 I heard she gets nine hours a night.
动作快点现在还来得及! If we hurry, we can make it!
十一点新闻过后 And after the Eleven o'clock News,
即将播出的是"大卫牙擦骚" It's "the late show with david letterman"!
哈哈 终于要开始了 Ha! all right!
我可就算了 Ohh, pass.
路易斯 你就接着看那个老头还有弹钢琴的小鬼头吧 Louis, you can stay up and watch that old man
我是要去睡觉了 And his piano gremlin, but i'm going to bed.
你也是 埃迪 该睡觉了 You, too, eddie. bedtime.
今晚大卫邀请到嘉宾 超模辛迪·克劳馥 Tonight dave welcomes supermodel cindy crawford.
- 哇哦 - 吼吼 - ooh! - ooh!
晚安 爸 Good night, dad.
别走 Uh, wait.
今天晚上不能跟我一起看会节目吗? Why don't you stay up and watch with me tonight?
但是十点四十五是我的宵禁时间 But my bedtime is 10:45.
你都开始刮胡子了 你现在是个男人了 Well, you're shaving. you're a man now.
你也该享受男人的宵禁了 Maybe it's time you had a man's bedtime.
从现在开始 你可以看完"牙擦骚"的第一个嘉宾 From now on, you can stay up for
十一点四十五再睡 the first guess on the "letterman" until 11:45.
你刚获得了一点独立权 I think you've earned a little independence.
哇哦 你认真的吗? Whoa! are you serious?
男人的每一刻都是认真的 Men are always serious.
成为男人可是太爽了 being a man is awesome.
你觉得大卫会问到辛迪·克劳馥的痣吗? Do you think dave will ask cindy crawford about her mole?
很有可能 儿子 真的有可能 He might, son. he just might.
然后"牙擦骚"就问了辛迪·克劳馥的痣 And then "letterman" asked cindy crawford about her mole.
哇! Whoa!
简直难以相信你爸爸真的同意你玩到十一点四十五 I can't believe your dad let you stay up to 11:45.
我很好奇我爸爸是几点睡的 I wonder when my dad goes to sleep...
或者说 是在哪睡的 Or where.
"德州巡警"刚演到一半 My dad makes me go to bed halfway through
我爸就催我去睡觉 "walker, texas ranger."
那还是礼拜六呢! And that's on a saturday!
所以你从来不知道沃克巡警抓没抓到坏人? So you never find out if walker catches the bad guy?
那是沃克巡警 布莱恩! 他永远能抓到坏人! It's walker, brian! he catches the bad guy!
终于 Finally.
我独自等待另一个晚睡的伙伴 I have been waiting for someone else
等到花儿都谢了 To have a late bedtime forever.
- 你的宵禁是几点? - 我没宵禁的 - What's your bedtime? -Don't have one.
我妈妈在芝士蛋糕工厂上夜班 My mom works the night shift at the cheesecake factory,
所以我爱几点睡就几点睡 So I just go to bed whenever I feel like it.
还有 如果有人把芝士蛋糕退回来 Also, if somebody sends their cheesecake back,
我妈就带回家 然后我们当早饭吃 My mom brings it home, and we eat it for breakfast.
好酷! Cool!
那你一整宿都干嘛呢? So, what do you do all night?
我在户外商场周围骑车兜圈 I ride my bike around the outdoor mall
捡多乐星关门时候扔的 And eat the stale doughnuts
过期的甜甜圈吃 Donut king throws away at closing.
等会 你意思是 我这么长时间 Hold up. you're telling me i've been sleeping through
一直因为睡觉 错过了免费的甜甜圈? Free doughnuts this whole time?!
甜甜圈 硬面包圈 Doughnuts, bagels.
有时候还能捡到一大桶蛋汁 Sometimes you just get a whole vat of glaze.
赛事爆了超级大冷门 In a stunning upset,
塔拉·利平斯基超过关颖珊 夺得了金牌! Tara lipinski leaps over michelle kwan to win the gold!
关颖珊 输了 Michelle kwan...lost.
我说过了 你要面对利平斯基
你最好准备好
怎么可能呢? How could this happen?
她就应该是冠军的命啊! She was supposed to win!
她怎么会没拿冠军呢? How could she not win?!
她的每件事都完成得很好啊! She did everything right!
你做什么呀
埃文和埃默里相信关颖珊会夺冠的 Evan and emery believe in michelle kwan the winner.
如果他们发现 自己那么努力却还是第二 If they find out that they can work that hard
就不会再刻苦认真了 And still come in second, they'll never work hard again.
那么你就要骗他们一辈子呀
你的提议真的不错 You know, that's a really good idea.
我确实在控制他们看的内容 I do control what they watch.
所以如果我不想让他们知道 那他们就永远不会知道 So if I don't want them to know, then they won't know.
我们准备要看... We're ready to watch the --
录像带怎么了? What happened to the tape?
出现了技术难题 Technical difficulties.
录像机里住着一只老鼠 A mouse was living inside the vcr
老鼠把录像带吃了然后死了 And it ate the tape and then it died.
那是只男老鼠还是女老鼠? Was it a boy mouse or a girl mouse?
谁还管那个! 颖珊表现得怎么样? Who cares?! how did michelle do?
她赢了! She won!
- 太好了! - 太好了! - yes! - yes!
哇哦! 她做到了! Whoo! she did it!
- 我就知道她可以的! - 哦吼! - I knew she could! -Whoo!
埃迪 Hey, eddie.
你看"牙擦骚"的时候想吃什么味的爆米花? Which popcorn do you want for "letterman"?
黄油味 还是 影院特别版黄油味? Butter or movie theater butter?
埃迪? Eddie?
现在开始播报 你应该接你爸爸话的十个理由 Okay, top 10 reasons you should answer your father.
第十个 Number 10...
埃迪出去啦
我要去看午夜场的洛奇恐怖秀
有个好看的男人穿高跟鞋
你去哪了? where were you?
跟戴夫出去来着 Oh, out with Dave.
第二天还得上学呢? 你疯了? On a school night? are you crazy?
你俩干啥来着? What were the two of you doing?
没什么 就出去逛逛 Nothing. just hanging out.
她真的太美了 Oh, she's gorgeous.
你觉得她梳妆打扮准备去哪? Where do you think she's getting ready to go?
可能去跳舞吧 Dancing, probably.
那种经典高级女孩经常去跳舞的 Classic girls like that are always going dancing.
我希望我也能拥有个那种女孩 I wish I had a girl like that.
那可不是女孩了 That's not a girl.
那是女人 That's a woman.
就出去逛逛? "just hanging out"?
这都快午夜了 It's almost midnight.
我的宵禁时间不是十一点四十五吗 Wow I guess my bedtime is 11:45.
现在四十 我还剩五分钟呢 It's 11:40. I still have five minutes.
不 我是说你可以晚点睡 No, I said you could stay up
看完"牙擦骚"的第一个嘉宾 To watch the first guest on "letterman,"
可不是答应你在大街上闲逛 Not run around the streets
跟你的朋友干点天知道的鬼事 Doing god knows what with your friends.
但是你说过我现在有了一点独立权了啊 But you said i'd earned a little independence.
但我不是这个意思 This is not what I meant.
反正希望你刚做的事足够有价值吧 Well, I hope whatever you were doing was worth it
因为你刚刚错过了大卫采访安迪·麦克道尔 Because you missed Dave interviewing Andie Macdowell.
所以呢? 我明天看就得了 So? I'll just watch it tomorrow.
安迪·麦道威尔明天不上啊 Andie Macdowell is not going to be on tomorrow.
我并不在乎安迪·麦道威尔 I don't care about Andie Macdowell!
我们今晚都累糊涂了 说瞎话呢 Clearly we're both tired and saying things we don't mean.
先去睡吧 Let's just go to bed,
明早再说 And we'll talk about this in the morning.
不 No!
我明早也不会跟你谈的 We will not talk about this in the morning
我又没做错事 Because I didn't do anything wrong!
你怎么能用这种态度跟我讲话 You can't talk to me like that.
为啥不能? 你不是说我已经是个男人了吗 Why not? You said I'm a man, remember?
你应该像对待男人那样对我 Maybe it's time you started treating me like one.
哦 关颖珊还组过乐队呢 Oh, this is interesting.
真有趣 Michelle kwan tried to start a band.
第三眼关乐队吗? Third eye kwan?
这本书也有写 That's in this book, too.
她真是天赋异禀啊 She's so talented.
要是录像带没坏就好了 I just wish the TV and the VCR weren't broken
我们就能看她怎么赢的了 So we could watch a replay of her winning.
真不敢相信我们没看过 I can't believe we still haven't seen it.
街上的报纸都被报纸小偷偷了 It's also unfortunate that all the newspapers on the street
真是遗憾啊 Have been stolen by a news thief.
美国队! 加油! USA! USA!
她居然赢了金牌 真是难以置信啊 Can you guys believe she won gold?!
真是太让人激动了 It's exciting, right?
我懂得 关颖珊真是咱的英雄啊 I know. Michelle kwan's our hero.
关颖珊没赢啊 Michelle kwan? No.
是塔拉·利平斯基赢了呀 Tara lipinski won gold.
关颖珊是亚军 Michelle kwan came in second.
所以商场 That's why they're doing a special
剪塔拉发型都在搞活动呢 On lipinski cuts at the mall.
不是啊 蜜儿 关颖珊赢了啊 是吧 妈妈 No, Honey. Michelle kwan won. right, mom?
孩儿们... Boys...
事实是... ...the truth is...
关颖珊没赢 Michelle kwan didn't win.
因为比赛的那个关颖珊是假的 Because that wasn't the real Michelle kwan!
哈? ...what?
真正的关颖珊被假的顶替了 The real michelle kwan has been replaced by an imposter!
- 啥? - 仔细想想 - What? - Think about it.
她一辈子都在刻苦训练 She trains hard her whole life.
连世锦赛都赢了 She wins the World Championships.
奥运会却只拿了银牌? Then she goes to the Olympics and comes in second place?
根本不可能的好吧 It doesn't add up.
让利平斯基改写了一切 Has "lipinski" written all over it.
只能是假的关颖珊输了 The point is the fake kwan lost.
真的关颖珊永远都是最好的 The real kwan will always be the best.
以后别再提这件事了 Let's never speak of this again.
难以置信 I can't believe it.
居然是假的关颖珊 A fake michelle kwan.
- 咱们该咋办呢? - 想想关颖珊会怎么做? - What do we do? - What would michelle do?
她会竭尽全力调查清楚 Use her focus and determination to get to the bottom of it?
那我们也该这样做 Then we will, too.
就像水门事件中的伍德沃德和伯恩斯坦一样 We'll be like woodward and bernstein.
或是米老鼠里的奇奇和蒂蒂一样 Or Chip 'n Dale!
你们觉得杰西卡还会回来吗? Do you think jessica's coming back?
他错过了安迪·麦道威尔吗? He missed Andie Macdowell, huh?
她可是个可人儿啊 She's a ruddy-cheeked delight.
而且他并没有道歉 And he wouldn't apologize!
我真的不知道他最近是怎么了 I don't know what's gotten into him lately.
虽然他跟杰西卡总是吵架 Sure, he and Jessica clash a lot,
但是埃迪和我一直都是好兄弟啊 But Eddie and I have always been pals.
他从来没有这样公然挑衅过我 He's never been so openly defiant to me before.
他多少岁了? 九岁? 十岁? How old's the boy? 9? 10?
十四岁啦 马文 He's 14, Marvin.
十四啦 Ah, 14.
怪不得呢 Then that explains it.
怎么呢? It does?
青春期公象的典型表现啊 Classic male adolescent elephant power vacuum.
- 啥? - 跟我来 路弟 - Huh? - Follow me, lou.
给你看点东西 There's something you need to see.
现在我们在用酥油做饭 Now we're cooking with crisco!
我那时候驻扎在非洲 Ah! I was stationed in africa,
是蒙巴萨岛到基苏木高速路 Overseeing the construction of the railway
的监工 From mombasa to kisumu.
那条高速? The railway?
你到底多大了啊 How old are you?
总之老到知道你的事咋办就是了 Old enough to know what you're going through.
你看 Look.
青春期的公象 Adolescent male elephants.
当象群里没有老的首领的时候 Now, see, when the herd lacks a strong older male presence,
年轻的公象就会不听指挥 甚至暴力 The young males become unruly and defiant, even violent.
看 他们摇头晃鼻的样子 See ... see them shaking their heads and trumpeting?
代表他们很生气 That means they're angry.
你怎么不跑啊 他们可能踩死你啊 Why didn't you run away? They could have trampled you.
要是跑了就如了他们的愿 Because running away is what they want,
那是最糟糕的 And it's the worst thing you can do.
他习惯了横行霸道 He's so used to getting his own way
所以当你表现的勇敢不畏缩的时候 That when you show confidence and stand your own ground,
他就被吓到了 He's surprised.
他会退缩 He'll back down.
看着吧 Watch.
- 哇哦 还真是呢 - 是的呀 - Wow. it worked. - yeah!
你跟埃迪也一样 And it'll work for you and Eddie, too.
你一直对他都太温和了 路弟 You've been too soft on that boy, Lou.
我不确定呢 I don't know.
我像埃迪这么大的时候我爸就对我很严厉 My dad was extremely tough on me when I was Eddie's age,
所以我跟他关系一直都不好 And our relationship never recovered.
我跟埃迪不一样 我们是朋友 Eddie and I aren't like that. We're friends.
所以呢 你爸可能不是你最好的朋友 Okay, so maybe your dad wasn't your best friend,
但是你不也好好长大了吗 But look how you turned out.
你成功地成为了一个有家有室的 You're a very successful small-business owner
生意人 With your own home, great family.
想要儿子成为一个有责任的成年人 Fathers can't be friends with their sons.
父亲就不能做儿子的朋友 Not if they want them to grow up to be responsible adults.
那我该怎么办呢? So, what do I do?
你得像一头愤怒的领头象一样 Well, you have to be the angry bull elephant.
没有规矩不成方圆 Only discipline can bring the herd back together.
干嘛 What's going on?
我们在图书馆 We did some research at the library
研究了下你的关颖珊假冒者理论 On your kwan-impostor theory.
好吧 我只是... Okay, look, I was just...
你的理论是对的! And you were absolutely right!
埃默里 帮她补补课吧 Emery, let's bring her up to speed.
关颖珊是以15个完美六分 Michelle kwan wins the 1998 world championships
拿下的98年世锦赛冠军 With 15 perfect 6.0s,
甚至有个裁判都被感动哭了 Leaving one judge in tears.
她是冬奥会 She's the favorite for the gold
最受瞩目的金牌得主 medal in the winter Olympics?
然后事情就变得蹊跷了 Then things start getting fishy.
其他运动员都是从大阪入境日本的 She arrives in Japan but processes through Tokyo
但她却是从东京入境的 Instead of Osaka with all the other athletes.
是啊 真是 真是有点怪 Right, yeah. that's ... that's weird.
没人在奥运村见过她 Nobody sees Michelle kwan at the olympic village
因为... 听好了 ... 她没在那住 Because ... get this ... she's staying "off site."
接着 她还缺席了开幕式 Next, she misses the opening ceremony.
她努力了一辈子就想要进奥运会 She works her whole life to get to the olympics
却缺席了开幕式? And then doesn't go to the opening ceremony?
这不合理 It doesn't add up.
事实上 还真不合理 No, it doesn't, actually.
赛前一晚 没人见过关颖珊 The night before the event, nobody sees Michelle Kwan.
那么塔拉·利平斯基在哪里呢? Where's Tara Lipinski, on the other hand?
在床上睡够八个小时? In bed getting a full eight hours?
在和韦恩·格雷茨基和其他加拿大冰球队 With Wayne Gretzky and the canadian ice hokey team
吃冰淇淋! eating ice cream!
就好像她知道自己稳赢一样 Like she knew she couldn't lose.
而且关颖珊在早上九点半 And Michelle Kwan was photographed at her hotel
在宾馆被拍到了 at 9:30 a.m.,
十五分钟后她就出现在奥林匹克赛场上 15 minutes before she was seen at the olympic arena --
相距三十四英里呢 A distance of 34 miles.
所以呢? So?
所以 我刚从这里 So, I just drove from here
以最快的速度开到海洋世界 To the sea world parking lot as fast as I could.
恰好三十四公里 It's exactly 34 miles.
我花的时间可不只十五分钟 It took me way longer than 15 minutes,
红灯我可都没停 And I didn't even stop for red lights.
把"塔拉·利平斯基"重新排序 Rearrange the letters in "tara lipinski,"
结果是什么什么? And what do you get?
狼蛛接吻! Tarantula kiss!
溜冰场? Rink alias?!
就好像她挑战咱们抓她一样 It's like she's daring us to catch her.
关颖珊真的是被冒名顶替了 Michelle kwan really was replaced by an imposter.
不幸的是 这只是理论 Unfortunately, it's just a theory.
没人知道确切的真相 Nobody knows for sure.
事实上 我认识有人可能知道 Actually, I know someone who might.
很多年以前 我给 I used to do makeup for
百老汇滑冰版的"猫"做化妆 The broadway on ice production of "cats" years ago,
那里有一个滑冰者知道 And there is one figure skater who knows
这个圈子里所有人的所有事情 Everything that goes on with everyone in that world.
如果在日本长野有蹊跷 If something fishy happened in nagano,
她会知道的 She'll know about it.
好吧 现在十点半了 Okey, so it's 10:30 now.
我想咱们先去户外商场逛一个小时 I figure we head to the outdoor mall for an hour or so
然后骑着自行车从 And then ride our bikes from the
"大狗"打折店去女装店买衣服 Big Dog outlet to the Wet Seal.
我有个更好的主意 I have a better idea.
咱们把她偷走 We steal her.
- 谁? - 她 橱窗里的女孩 - Who? - her. the girl from the window.
那个人形模特? The mannequin?
另一天晚上我突然想到了 It hit me the other night.
如果这几天她一直准备去的地方 What if the place she's been getting ready to go
是我家呢? All this time is my house?
我不知道 戴夫 I don't know, dave.
这应该算 入室抢劫了吧 That's, like, breaking and entering.
所以呢? 会很有意思的 So? it'll be fun!
你说过你想要个这样的女孩的 You said you'd love to have a girl like her.
记得吗? 你说过的 Remember? you said it.
来吧 埃迪 说你会帮我 Come on, Eddie. say you'll help me.
来吧 说出来 Come on. say it.
- 我不知道 - 说出来! - I don't know. - Say it!
好吧 听上去是挺好玩的 Uh, sure. sounds like fun.
真棒 Great.
现在咱们听点嗨歌来给自己鼓鼓劲 Now let's listen to a little gwar to pump ourselves up.
纪律会让兽群回归秩序 Discipline will bring the herd back together.
这样不好 戴夫 我的父母睡了 Not cool, Dave. my parents are asleep.
埃迪 你可能现在稍稍比我高一点 Eddie, you may be taller than me now, slightly,
但我还是你的爸爸 But I am still your father.
而且你出去的时候 And when you go out,
我要知道你去了哪里 I want to know where you're going,
和谁去的 什么时候回来 Who you're with, and when you'll be back.
不能再为所欲为 No more doing whatever you want,
也不能顶嘴了 And no more talking back, either.
不然 你就哪也去不了了 Otherwise, you won't be going anywhere.
你明白了吗? Do we understand each other?
去你的! Screw...you!
行了 埃迪 你被禁足了 That's it, Eddie. you're grounded!
- 我觉得我该走了 - 好主意 - I think I'm gonna go. - Good idea.
我不知道你最近是怎么了 I don't know what's gotten into you lately,
但是这种行为该停止了 But this behavior stops now.
我以为咱们能像朋友一样一起经历这个 I thought we could get through this as friends,
但很明显 我错了 But clearly I was wrong.
所以从现在开始 咱们要严格的来了 So from now on, we do things the hard way.
不许看电视 不许玩游戏 No more TV. No more video games!
谢了 爸 Thanks, dad.
你在做什么? What are you doing?!
我在拥抱你 I'm hugging you.
为什么? Why?
我知道如果我那样顶嘴 I knew that if I talked back to you like that,
你肯定会很震惊 然后禁足我 You'd be so shocked you'd ground me,
我就不用去帮助戴夫去偷那个性感的人形模特了 And I wouldn't have to help Dave steal that sexy mannequin.
帮助戴夫干什么? Help Dave do what?
是他要偷过来的 简直是疯了 It was his idea to steal it, and it's crazy.
我不想这么干 I didn't want to do it.
但是我不知道怎么跟他说 But i-i didn't know how to tell him.
他最近... 情绪很紧张 He's been... intense lately.
你想看个很酷的东西吗? Hey, you want to see something cool?
好啊 Sure.
我要用棒球棒打爆 I'm gonna bust open this stretch armstrong
这个橡皮人 With a baseball bat.
嗯... Um...
你才没爹呢! No, you don't have a dad!
所以 你不是青春期的小象 So, you're not the adolescent elephant.
戴夫才是 Dave is.
爸 你最近有点天马行空 Dad, you're all over the place.
你什么意思? What do you mean?
一开始 你把我刮胡子这件事小题大做 First, you made a big deal out of me shaving.
然后你又说我可以晚睡 Then you let me stay up later.
再然后我晚睡你又生气 Then you got mad at me for staying up later.
现在你还在说大象 And now you're talking about elephants.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我只是太激动了 你是个男人了 I was just excited for you to become a man
因为我觉得那样就意味着 Because I thought that would mean
咱们可以花更多的时间在一起了 Us spending more time together.
然后你决定在多出来的时间里 Then you decided to spend your extra hour
和戴夫一起玩 With dave instead of me.
所以你不开心是因为我没有待在家里 So you're upset because I didn't stay home
和你一起看"牙擦骚" And watch "Letterman" with you.
听着 我只是不想让你疏远我 Look, I just don't want us to grow apart
因为我和我爸爸就是这样 Because that's what happened with me and my dad.
我只是想做一点我自己的事情 爸 Just because I want to do something on my own
又不代表我不需要你了 Doesn't mean I don't still need you, dad.
咱们是朋友 You and I are friends.
我永远需要朋友 I'm always gonna need that.
等等 你和戴夫还什么都没偷呢 对吧? Wait, you and dave haven't stolen anything else, have you?
当然没有! No way!
我还是分得清好主意和坏主意的 I know a good idea from a bad one.
我很高兴能有你在身边教我这些东西 I'm lucky to have you around to teach me stuff like that.
不是所有人都这么幸运 Not everyone's that lucky.
所以 帅哥 等什么呢? So, whatcha waitin' for, chief?
住手! Stop!
对 住手 Yeah. stop.
现在 把砖头放下吧 戴夫 Now, why don't you put the brick down, dave,
然后咱们来聊一聊 And we can talk about this?
他总是按照他的方法来 He's so used to getting his way
而当你展现自信 that when he sees you showing confidence
站稳立场时 他就会退缩了 and standing your ground, he'll back down.
戴夫 你现在停下这种行为 Dave, you cut this behavior out right this minute.
你听到我了吗? Do you hear me?
我现在给你数到三 I'm going to give you to the count of three
放下砖头 然后离开那个模特 To put the brick down and to step away from the mannequin.
一... One...
二... Two...
老爸 干得漂亮 Whoa. Good work, dad.
拿上拿块砖头 我们需要个门挡 Grab that brick. we need a doorstop.
好的 Uh, okay.
去 去 Go. go.
让一下 Excuse me.
请让一下 别挡道 Excuse me. out of the way.
过人啦 Coming through.
哦 Oh!
你好 南茜·克里根 Hello, Nancy Kerrigan.
感谢你的热情 Thanks for the enthusiasm.
很高兴见到你 我该写给谁呢? It's nice to meet you. Who can I make this out to?
塔拉·利平斯基让别人冒充关颖珊 Is it true tara lipinski replaced michelle kwan
让自己拿金牌这件事是真的吗 with an impostor so she could steal the gold?
喔 信息量超多啊 Uh, well, that's quite a lot.
写 "相信你自己"可以吗 How about, "believe in yourself"?
南希 我们真正需要的 是答案 What we really need, nancy, is answers.
是不是真的? Is it true?
为什么你觉得我会知道? What makes you think I know?
因为你是职业冰滑世界的 Because you're the hub of
核心人物啊 克里根 The professional ice-skating world, Kerrigan.
所有事情你都知道 You know everything that goes on.
- 嗨 蜜儿·埃利斯 - 嗨 - Hi. Honey Ellis. -hi.
你在冰上百老汇上表演 I did your makeup when you played
迷人猫格里萨贝拉的时候 我给你画的妆 Grizabella the glamour cat in broadway on ice.
- 超级粉丝 - 对啊 - Big fan. -oh, right.
你那时候不是在和一个灯光师约会吗? Weren't you dating one of the lighting technicians?
是啊! 最后没成 Yes! It didn't work out.
当然没有了 所以 是真的吗? Of course it didn't. so, is it true?
告诉我你觉得真相是什么样的 Tell me what you think you know.
塔拉·利平斯基用一个身体协调能力 Tara Lipinski replaced the real Michelle Kwan
稍差的替身替换了关颖珊 With a slightly less talented body double.
所以假的关颖珊 That's why the fake Michelle Kwan
飞到了东京 而不是大阪 Flew into tokyo, instead of osaka.
所以她错过了开幕式 That's why she missed the opening ceremonies.
所以她一直"没住在那里" And that's why she was kept "off site."
听着关颖珊飞到东京 Look, michelle flew into tokyo
是因为她的笔友嘉比住在那里 Because her pen pal gabby lives there
而且提出可以开车送她到机场 And offered to drive her from the airport.
而且 周中时候的机票总是便宜很多 Also, flights are way cheaper if she left mid-week,
如果你认识关颖珊 她喜欢讨价还价 And if you know michelle, she likes a bargain.
所以她错过了开幕式 So that's why she missed the opening ceremonies.
而且 她没待在奥林匹克村 Also, she didn't stay in the olympic village
是因为男子冰球队 Because the men's ice hockey
开派对的声音特别大 team throws really loud party
所以她住进了酒店里 And that's why she got a hotel.
那从酒店到体育场呢? But what about getting from the hotel to the olympic arena?
在她上场十五分钟之前还被拍到 Mm-hmm. she was photographed at the hotel
在酒店里 15 minutes before her event.
她不可能在十五分钟之内赶到 There's no way she could make it in 15 minutes.
那天早上在酒店的不是关颖珊 That wasn't michelle at the hotel that morning.
那是她的姐姐 凯伦 That was her sister, Karen.
她们长得很像 They look alike.
关颖珊在赛前一晚 Michelle didn't even stay at the hotel
都没有待在酒店 The night before the event.
她没有? 那她在哪? She didn't? where did she stay?
在她赛前总是待的地方-- Where she always stays the night before a big event --
冰场上 On the ice.
- 哦 - 哦... - oh! - oh...
我也会这么做的 That's what I would do.
但是那不可能是真的关颖珊 But that couldn't have been the real michelle kwan.
那就是啊 But it was.
关颖珊一辈子都在训练拿金牌 Michelle kwan trained her whole life to win gold.
她牺牲了所有 She sacrificed everything.
她怎么可能只拿到第二名? How could she possibly come in second place?
因为有些时候人生不公平啊 Sometimes life isn't fair.
相信我 我都知道 Believe me. I know all about that.
还有那些疯狂的阴谋论 And crazy conspiracies.
你非常努力 所有事都做对了 You can work really hard, do everything right,
但有时人生就扔给你一个利平斯基 And sometimes life just throws you a Lipinski.
你只能整理心情 继续滑冰 You just have to pick yourself back up and keep on skating.
谢谢你们能过来 Thanks for coming out.
我很感激 Appreciate it.
我喜欢你的丸子头 I like your hair-bun.
哦 这不是-- 谢谢 Oh, it's not -- it -- thank you.
杰西卡 你还好吗 Jessica, are you okay?
不 我不好 No, i'm not.
我知道的一切-- Everything I know --
我所教给我孩子的一切-- Everything i've taught my children --
我整个世界观都是错的 My whole worldview is wrong.
等等 妈妈 看! Wait. mommy, look!
他们在监视我 继续调查
所以塔拉·利平斯基确实是替换了关颖珊 So Tara Lipinski did replace Michelle Kwan with an impostor!
我就知道! I knew it!
不可能有人那么努力 There's no way somebody who works that hard
才得到第二名 Comes in second place.
不可能的 It just isn't possible.
你知道 你的笔比她的要细 You know, your sharpie is slightly thinner than hers.
相信你自己 南茜·克里根
成功了 不是吗? It worked, didn't it?
关颖珊每件事都做对了但还是输了的真相 The truth that Michelle Kwan did everything right
会打垮妈妈的 And still lost would crush mom.
她需要有信念 She needs to believe.
今天下午 埃默里现场签售 埃默里的克里奥尔圣诞
你先走 You know what, you go ahead.
我要留下来等这个 I'm gonna stick around for this.
今晚 有请"海滩救援队"的演员们 Tonight, dave welcomes the cast of "baywatch."
我去拿瓶汽水 I'm gonna go grab a soda.
九点之后不许喝汽水 No soda after 9:00 p.m.
好的 黄先生 Okay, Mr. Huang.
嗨 不如 就今晚 Hey, how about, just for tonight,
我让你们男孩子留下看音乐嘉宾? I let you boys stay up to watch the musical guest?
...音乐嘉宾葆拉·寇尔! ...with musical guest paula cole!
不用了 Nah, we're good.