(computerized version of "Yankee Doodle")
- Hey, hey! Hey cow! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
- I'm not a cow, I'm an ox.
- You're not a cow? Well, that's bull. (laughs)
- I'm pulling this wagon down the Oregon Trail.
- Huh? Oregon has a tail?
- I said trail.
- Hmm, I'm trying to envision
the tail on Oregon but I can't.
- (sighs) That's because Oregon has no tail.
- Oh, is it up by Portland?
Does it wag when it's happy? (laughs)
- (sighs) Please leave me alone.
I'm waiting for my wagon leader.
- Oh, well that's me.
- You?!
- Yup, yup, yup.
I won it a raffle. Woo-hoo!
All right, giddy up!
(country western music)
- [Ox] Just remember, there are four other people
in your party and they're depending on you.
- [Orange] A party? Sounds like fun.
I hope there's dancing. (laughs)
- [Ox] We have arrived at the Kansas River crossing.
We have two options.
- [Orange] Soup or salad?
- [Ox] No, we can either--
- [Orange] Hand-tossed or deep-dish?
- [Ox] No! - [Orange] Sink or swim?
- Would you listen to me?
Just, (sighs) we can either float the river or ferry across.
Which option do you choose?
- Hmm, I choose hunting. (fast-paced country music)
- What? That's wasn't an option.
(Orange laughs) (Ox groans)
- Hunting, hunting, hunting, hunting,
hunting, hunting, hunting. (laughs)
Hmm, there doesn't seem to be much--
(dramatic orchestral music) (screams) A tree!
Kill it, kill it. (gun fires) (laughs)
(screams)
(screams) A rock! Kill it, kill it, kill the rock!
(explosion) (Orange laughs)
Don't worry guys, I saved us
from some really mean-looking rocks. (laughs)
- Well congratulations, Orange.
You used up all our bullets and have returned
with exactly zero pounds of food because you shot at trees.
- Wait a minute, was I not supposed to?
- You were supposed to shoot at the animals!
- Oh, I guess that makes more sense,
except I'm a vegetarian. (laughs)
- You jeopardized the lives of everyone in our group.
Jeremy's come down with dysentery and Alice has cholera.
- Hmm, these sound like problems
that could be solved with more hunting.
- They aren't.
Now please, should we ford the river or ferry across?
- Okay, okay. We'll ferry across, geez.
- Thank you. It's the first logical decision you've made.
Now we're gonna have to wait two days for the ferry.
It's gonna cost $5.
- Huh? No, let's just do it now.
(whistles) I got my own fairy.
- You do?!
- Sure. There she is now. (harp plays)
- Hello. You called for me, Orange?
- Fairy, can you help us out? (laughs)
- [Ox] (sighs) This is not the type
of ferry we need, Orange.
- Well, maybe I could still help.
What do you need?
- Can you get us across the river?
- Of course.
- Wow! Thanks, fairy.
- Goodbye. (harp plays)
- [Ox] That, that was amazing.
That was honestly so helpful.
I wish we had her with us
for the entire long, hard journey to Oregon.
- Oh, that's a good point, cow. (whistles)
- [Fairy] Hello. (harp plays)
- Another quick favor.
Could you send us straight to Oregon?
This trail's apparently long and hard.
- [Fairy] Of course. Poof!
- [Ox] Oh my. Orange, a fort is in sight!
We did it! We did it, everyone!
- (screams) A fort!
(gun fires) Kill it, kill it with bullets!
(screams) Kill it.
(explosions) - [Ox] Orange, no!
(upbeat acoustic guitar music)
(Orange laughs) Knife!