Bo Bo
干嘛 What?
字幕 Old MacDonald had a farm
字幕 E I e I o
字幕 And on that farm he had a pig
字幕 E I e I o
字幕 Here a snort
字幕 There a
字幕 Old MacDonald had a farm
字幕 E I e I o
这是Bo Burnham This is Bo Burnham.
二十二岁 He's 22 years old.
男性 He's a male.
他看起来像长颈鹿和 And he looks like the genetic product of a giraffe
艾伦德詹尼斯杂交的产物 having sex with Ellen Degeneres.
大脑袋 小乳头 He has a gigantic head and tiny nipples.
过去五年他将自己隔离起来 He's isolated himself over the last 5 years
为了钻研喜剧 in pursuit of comedy.
并且 And,
为了这样 in doing so,
与现实生活脱轨 has lost touch with reality.
你是个混蛋 Bo You're an asshole, Bo.
听见了吗 You hear me?
你以为你懂得比我多 You think you know better than me.
你以为你比任何人都懂得多 You think you know better than everybody.
你将孤独终老 You will die alone.
这是你自找的 And you will deserve it.
同时 But in the meantime,
你会说一些傻逼兮兮的笑话 you might as well tell those silly jokes of yours.
看看这有什么卵用 See if that helps.
你做喜剧 You used to do comedy
当你觉得自己很幽默的时候 when you felt like being funny.
但现在你责无旁贷 But now you're contractially obligated
不如跳舞 你个死猴子 so dance you fucking monkey.
不如跳舞 猴子 不如跳舞 Dance, monkey, dance!
欢迎 Welcome to the show
他是Bo 这是他的演出 this is Bo, this is his show.
Bo喜欢这样跳舞 And Bo likes to dance like this.
欢迎 这是Bo Welcome to the show, this is Bo
这是他的演出 this is his show.
他这样脱裤子 And Bo takes off his pants like this.
演奏隐形的鼓 Play an invisible drum.
演奏隐形的小号 Play an invisible trumpet.
小号的声音 Trumpet sound!
喝些隐形的水 Drink some invisible water,
妈的 Oh shit!
是真的水 That water is real!
Bo想让你们觉得舒服 Bo wants to make you feel comfortable.
随意的声音 Random voice
Bo想让你们觉得舒服 Bo wants to make you feel comfortable.
坐下 放松 享受这 So sit back, relax, and enjoy a healthy dose of
长时间的眼神交流 prolonged eye contact.
舔舔嘴更舒服喔 Lick your lips to make it more comforting.
想看魔术吗 Do you wanna see a magic trick?
想 Yeah!
想看魔术吗 Do you wanna see a magic trick?
想 Yeah!
想看魔术吗 Do you wanna see a magic trick?
随机选一张牌 Then pick a card any card.
惹 Sike!
魔术是假的 傻逼 Magic isn't real, you idiot.
滚去读书吧 Read a book.
魔术是假的 傻逼 Magic isn't real, you idiot.
滚去读书吧 Read a book.
魔术是假的 傻逼 Magic isn't real, you idiot.
滚去读书吧 Read a book.
魔术是假的 Magic isn't real.
是吗 Or is it?
在哪个时刻 And at that moment,
Bo二十年来的愤世嫉俗 Bo's 20-year-old cynicism
融化在孩童般的奇思妙想中 melted into childlike wonder.
他从来不知道 He never knew there could be
世界如此奇妙 so much magic in the world.
这是个充满可能性的世界 Bo It's a world of possibilities, Bo.
你想先做什么事情 What do you wanna do first?
跑步吗 Run?
当然 你可以跑 Yeah, sure you can run.
飞吗 Fly?
当然 你可以飞 Well yeah, you can fly.
什么 What?
你在干嘛 What are you...
你他妈在 What the fuck you...
你他妈在干什么 What the fuck are you doing?
停 Stop-
停下 St- Stop it!
什么鬼 What the f-
你个白痴 停 You fucking idiot, stop.
停下 Stop.
反正 Anyways.
在远处 Bo看到个美丽的精灵 In the distance, Bo saw a beautiful fairy.
这精灵美到他要是在高中被叫成精灵 A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud
都会觉得骄傲 about being called one in high school.
他无意中发现一座老旧的桥 He then came across an old bridge
桥上站着个巨人 with a troll standing guard.
Bo要过这座桥得回答一道谜语 Bo knew that he'd have to answer a riddle to get by.
巨人说 The troll spoke thus:
好吧 最后说一遍 我不是北欧神话中的巨人 "All right, for the last time man, I'm not a troll."
我是流浪汉 "I'm homeless."
你有没有零钱 "Okay? Do you have any spare change?"
好吧 这是张用过的纸巾 "Okay, that's a used napkin."
我不要用过的纸巾 "I don't want that."
不不不 停 就 "No. No, stop. Just-"
走吧 请你离开 "You know, leave. Just leave. Please leave."
这时 And then,
当Bo走到舞台的一侧 as Bo arrived on the other side of the stage,
他看到一只有五个角的独角兽 he saw a unicorn with 5 horns right in front of him.
五角兽说 And the pentacorn spoke thus:
你好 Bo "Hello, Bo!"
我已经找你很久了 'I've been looking for you for quite a long time no-"
他安全了 He was safe.
到现在为止 For now...
黑暗的想法又来了 But the dark thoughts would soon return.
这是哥斯拉 It's godzilla!
嗷 Aaaahhhhh!!!
嗷嗷嗷 Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!
我的天呐 Oh my god ahhhhh!!!!
哥斯拉 Godzilla!!
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 Aaaaauuugghhhhhh!!!
当只蜥蜴好难 It's so hard to be a lizard.
当只蜥蜴好难 It's hard to be a lizard.
短小的手臂 痒痒的喉咙 Tiny arms, itchy gizzard.
当只蜥蜴好难 It's hard to be a lizard.
继续下去更难 But it's harder to segue.
他是在滑雪吗 Is he skiing?
还是在演钙片 Or is he in a gay porn?
他是在滑雪吗 Is he skiing?
啥 What?
还是在演钙片 Or is he in a gay porn?
他是在滑雪 Is he skiing?
蛤 Huh!
还是在演钙片 Or is he in a gay porn?
线索在此 Here's a hint.
他是在演钙片 He's in a gay porn.
好吧 Bo 这段哑剧表演烦得要死 Okay Bo, this miming shit is getting pretty annoying.
给他们看点真材实料 So give 'em the real thing!
我的声音真他妈天然 My voice is so fucking natural.
天生的好 It's naturally good.
天生的好 Naturally good!
天天天天生的好 Na-a-a-aturally good.
这是这首歌的结尾也是这场演出的开始 This is the end of the song and the beginning of the show.
欢迎 Welcome to the show!
刚我演的蜥蜴真他妈蠢 That lizard part was pretty fucking stupid.
不管怎样 Anyway,
圣弗朗西斯哥 San Francisco!
耶 Yeah!
我们聚集于此 We are a place.
在加州 In California-
恩 我想 呃 Um, I'd like to, uh,
我想给男性观众讲个笑话开头 I'd like to start with a joke for my male audience.
这个笑话关于小伙伴们 Uh, this is a joke for the fellas.
我的伙伴们在哪里 Where are my fellas at?
伙伴们 Fellas?!
哟小伙伴们 你会怨恨吗当你 Yo, fellas don't you hate it when you're
给个男生口完然后这个男的弯了 blowing a guy and he ends up being a faggot?
我说的对吗 Am I right?!
我一直在给个基佬口 I've been blowing a faggot this whole time?
这礼拜第三次了 Third time this week.
谢谢 Thank you so much.
我们很开心 We're having fun...
这 This, um-
这场演出叫做 What This show is called "What".
但愿这能让你们惊喜 And I hope there are some surprises for you,
或者是 or someth-
天惹 抱歉 Jesus, sorry.
这是个好的开头 It's a good start.
希望这 Uh, hope there's-
他故意碰倒这瓶水 He meant to knock the water over.
耶耶耶 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
你们都以为这是个意外 But you all thought it was an accident.
但是 他故意碰倒这瓶水 But, he meant to knock the water over.
耶耶耶 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
艺术是谎话 Art is a lie.
没什么是真的 Nothing is real!
因此 我们 So, um, we uh-
长大吧 Grow up!
用力地鼓掌 Grow up with your applause.
继续 Stick it...
他故意打翻这瓶水 He meant to knock the water over.
耶耶耶 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
但你们都以为这是个意 But you all thought it was an acc--
如果在循环播放它就会一直重复 Just, don't, if it's on repeat it will repeat.
刚才那段可以全部剪掉 Just... we can cut all this, so...
我们还要再放音乐 We meant to play the track again.
耶耶耶 Yeah, yeah, yeah!
但是你们都以为这是个意外 But you all thought it was an accident.
他想再次打翻这瓶水 But, he meant to play the water track
再一一一次 a-ga-ga-gain!
艺术依旧是谎言 Art's still a lie.
依旧没什么是真的 Nothing's still real!
食物笑话 来说一些食物笑话 Food jokes. Let's do some food jokes.
再继续像刚刚那样会很奇怪 Segues are weird. Um...
我今天早餐吃了热狗 I had a hot dog for breakfast today,
吃完热狗我的感觉像这样 and afterwards I felt like this.
因为我控制不了我的凳子(屎) Cos I couldn't control my stools.
好吧 天呐 Alright, jesus...
我很庆幸你们喜欢关于屎的笑话 I'm glad you like poop based puns
这场演出大部分的段子都是这种类型 They will be a majority of the show.
一分一秒都不能浪费 Never waste a moment,
每一刻都可以成为喜剧时刻 every moment can become a comedic moment.
看到没 See.
这是喜剧演员的基本素养 So... Just a little lesson for comedians.
第一首歌 叫做 This first song, is called:
世界着火了 "A world on fire"
下一首歌 要长一点 This next song, it's a little bit...
比上一首歌长一点 it's a little bit longer then that one.
谢谢 And... Thank you.
这首歌关于我有多难过 我真的很难过 这首歌叫做 悲伤 It's about how sad I am, and I'm really sad, it's called "Sad"
这首歌与所有悲伤的事情有关 It's about all the sad stuff
想象有一个绝望的洋葱在削自己 Just picture a depressed onion cutting it self.
我遇见个流浪汉 名字叫 有钱 I met a homeless man named Rich.
是不是很可怕 Isn't that terrible?
我看到一张寻狗启事 I saw a flyer for a lost dog,
没有脚的狗 and the dog did not have any legs.
我看到患了糖尿病的小孩 I saw a diabetic kid,
在万圣节时索要糖果 trick-or-treating.
我看到一只短脖子的长颈鹿 I saw a giraffe who had a short neck.
这很悲伤 That was sad, or a dear?
我看到个被火车撞到的老人 I saw an old man get hit by a train.
他在倾盆大雨中看不到这辆火车 He didn't see it in the pouring rain.
他没听到我在大喊 He didn't hear me shout:
小心火车 "Look out for the train!"
因为我什么都没说 Cos I didn't say anything.
我只是在想 I just thought to my self:
噢 这将是个悲伤的故事 "Ooh, this is going to be sad."
并且真的是 And it was.
我真是个天才 I'm a genius.
我看到个独眼男人 I saw a man with only one eye,
在看3D电影 in a 3D movie.
我看到个男孩弄掉他的冰淇淋 I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone
直直掉在他母亲的尸体上 directly on his mothers corpse!
我看到一只猫困在树上 I saw a kitten stuck in a tree.
然后它跳下来吊死自己 Then the kitten jumped off and it hung it self
我看见个红发男孩 I saw a boy who had red hair.
我去商店 I went to a store
买东西 looking for something to buy.
但这里只卖画 But they only sold paintings
画上是同一个悲伤的男子 of the same sad guy.
等等 No wait!
这家店卖镜子 This store sells mirrors,
我在这干什么 see what I did there?
嗨起来 Lets rock!
不 No.
世界太悲伤了 弟兄们 The worlds is so sad bros.
痛苦 Pain.
种族灭绝 战争 Genocide, war.
性别歧视 种族歧视 Sexism, Racism.
但我得承认这里还是有好事的 But I gotta remember there's good things about it too.
比如这个事实 Like the fact that
以上没有一件事发生在我身上 得分 none of that is happening to me. Score!
还是认为很难不去悲伤 Still though it's hard not to be sad about it.
你们觉得呢 How do you all do it?
我一直在告诉你们 I've been telling you guys
可怕且悲伤的事情在这首歌中 terribly sad things this whole song
你们根本没有觉得悲伤 you haven't been sad at all,
你们一直 you've been...
你们觉得开心 You've been happy.
不 No...
你们在笑 You've been laughing.
就是这样 笑声 That's it, laughter.
这是所以事情的关键 That's the key to everything.
是解决这世界所有悲伤地途径 It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world.
我不是说真正悲伤的人 I mean not for the people that are actually sad,
我说的是像我们这样的人 but for people like us,
that gotta fucking deal with them all the time.
当喜剧演员就是当一个麻木的混蛋 Being a comedian is't being an insensitive prick,
利用公众最兽性的冲动 capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public.
当一名英雄 It's being a hero.
世界不悲伤 The world isn't sad,
世界是有趣的 the world is funny.
我是个反社会的人 I'm a sociopath!
我看见个老男人滑到 I saw an old man slip and fall.
嘿 真是个大傻逼 Hey, what a fucking idiot.
我看见个女人在她女儿的葬礼上 I saw a woman at her daughters funural.
哈哈哈 经典的喜剧 Ha-ha-ha. Classic comedy.
所有曾经悲伤的事情 Everything that once was sad
不知为何现在变得好笑了 is somehow funny now.
大屠杀和911 The holocaust and 9/11,
24/7 that shit's funny 24/7.
字幕 Cos tragedy
字幕 will be exclusively joked about.
字幕 Because my empathy
字幕 is bumming me out.
悲伤再见 God-bye sadness!
笑话你好 Hello jokes.
谢谢 Thank you.
我想到个赞得一逼的笑话 I've got a really good joke
关于视频编辑者 about video editors.
视频编辑者是多么的 Video editors are so fucking...
我想现在该做首诗 I think we should do a poem right now,
如果可以的话 if that's ok?
这首诗有点蠢 This poem is a little bit sappy,
有点浪漫 a little bit romantic,
so we'll get it out of the way now,
字幕 and we'll go back to the...
字幕 Oops...
黄色笑话 你懂的 the dirty stuff, you know.
在深夜秀上大家喜欢的那种 Everyone loves at a late show or whatever.
好的 Ok
这首诗叫做 我上了荡妇 It's called: "I fuck sluts"
这不是点名谢谢 It's not a roll call but thank you.
荡妇 Sluts!
我上了荡妇 I fuck sluts.
荡妇被我上了 Sluts get fucked
当我艹荡妇的时候 when I fuck sluts.
字幕 No ifs ands or buts.
字幕 I fuck sluts! I fuck sluts!
字幕 Nice girls are nice.
字幕 But no good for nut sucking.
字幕 They'll need a serene night
字幕 to green-light a buttfucking.
字幕 But that'll be easy
字幕 with sleazy old slut fucking.
字幕 Boo to the nice girls,
字幕 praise be to slut fucking.
字幕 I have a list.
字幕 A list?
字幕 Yes, a list
字幕 of all the sluts I've missed.
字幕 I've never fucked
字幕 or sucked these sluts.
字幕 And thus my nuts
字幕 are fucking pissed.
字幕 So when I fuck
字幕 the lucky slut
字幕 my nut removes her from the list.
字幕 Another dumb cum-bucket
字幕 struck from my
字幕 nut sucking,
字幕 suck it slut,
字幕 slut fucking,
字幕 bucket list.
字幕 Yes, you hear the influences:
字幕 Chaucer, Keats.
字幕 Um...
字幕 The pages are blank, I know it.
字幕 Why am I lying to you?
字幕 Sluts can be white, black,
字幕 brown, pink, or almond.
字幕 They can be skinny with big tits,
字幕 or be skinny with small ones.
字幕 Sluts can be perky, prepy or posh,
字幕 with their brains and their clothes
字幕 all shrunk from the wash.
字幕 Excuse me.
字幕 But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart.
字幕 These sluts can lift all your thoughts
字幕 from your dick to your heart.
字幕 They can talk about science music or art.
字幕 They can put you together,
字幕 or they can pull you apart.
字幕 But don't trust there sluts,
字幕 Don't, don't you dare.
字幕 They'll force you to trust them and love them and care
字幕 And then they'll be gone
字幕 and you'll be aware
字幕 of the hole in your heart
字幕 that that dumb slut left there.
字幕 Thank you very much.
字幕 So, he was lashing out with sexist language
字幕 cos he had his heart broken.
字幕 We all learn something.
字幕 Thank you all for coming.
字幕 I know some of my bits
字幕 are a little bit fast and dense,
字幕 a little bit hard to follow,
字幕 particularly that one.
字幕 So I want to do something
字幕 a little bit slower, for the people,
字幕 maybe the older people in the crowd,
字幕 or something, so umm...
字幕 This's for you:
字幕 Here's a slow joke.
字幕 What did the ear of corn say
字幕 when all of it's clothes fell off?
字幕 Aww, shucks!
字幕 Get it?
字幕 Like "Shucks" As in shucking corn
字幕 and also "Shucks" The exclamation.
字幕 Am I right?
字幕 Good. We're having fun.
字幕 Umm...
字幕 My father recently told me
字幕 that I act too flamboyant on stage.
字幕 And I said: "Really dad?"
字幕 "Prove it!"
字幕 "Well what about that joke"
字幕 "Where you throw confetti at the end of it?"
字幕 "Well I haven't written that joke yet,"
字幕 "Cos it's based of this conversation!"
字幕 "Gotcha!"
字幕 Keep it, keep the struggle.
字幕 We are having a lot of fun guys.
字幕 Don't worry, you don't have
字幕 to fill the silences with laughter or applause.
字幕 I don't want you leaving this show thinking:
字幕 "My hands hurt from clapping."
字幕 "My stomach hurts from laughing."
字幕 I just want you leaving the show, thinking:
字幕 "Meh... alright..."
字幕 And we are on our way.
字幕 I moved to, um... Hollywood recently
字幕 from boston, where I grew up and...
字幕 Places!
字幕 And I...
字幕 I heard about these sort of
字幕 wild Hollywood party nights that people would have
字幕 and I did not think they were true.
字幕 Untill I moved to Hollywood
字幕 and I started having them.
字幕 Anyway, this is a song
字幕 about a crazy night
字幕 that happened a couple of weeks ago.
字幕 It's called: "What did I do last night?"
字幕 Yeah! Yeah!
字幕 Hey! Hey! Hey!
字幕 What did I do last night?
字幕 I cried my self to sleep!
字幕 It was a good one.
字幕 When did my mother first describe gay sex to me?
字幕 Good question, I was 8 yoears old...
字幕 I was 8 years old,
字幕 she brought me into the dining room,
字幕 she sat right across the table from me.
字幕 "Do you know how your father and I love each other"
字幕 "Of course."
字幕 "You and dad love each other"
字幕 "More then two people could possible love each other."
字幕 "Well two men can love each other in the exact same way"
字幕 "That your father and I love each other."
字幕 "What happens when two men love each other like that."
字幕 "What they do is, they take off all their clothes"
字幕 "Umm.. they get into bed"
字幕 "And they SHIT ON THE BIBLE!"
字幕 So I don't talk to her anymore.
字幕 Ok
字幕 Hello patient #24602
字幕 Hi. I'm sorry.
字幕 How are you feeling?
字幕 Not great.
字幕 Has the treatment been working?
字幕 No, it hasn't been.
字幕 What are you'r remaining symptoms?
字幕 I just... I internalise my feelings.
字幕 I have trouble articulati...
字幕 Like, other people, and relating to them...
字幕 So basically you're still a little bitch?
字幕 Real mature of you, disembodied voice.
字幕 I was just joking nigger.
字幕 We are right by Oakland,
字幕 Careful with that shit.
字幕 I'm not human, I can say whatever I want.
字幕 Alright, Just get to the...
字幕 What, what's wrong with me, please.
字幕 Your emotions and your logic are at war.
字幕 Ok.
字幕 Your creativity and your analysis are at war.
字幕 And most simply
字幕 Your left and your right brain are at war.
字幕 My left and my right... ?
字幕 To fix the problem
字幕 We must separate them from each other.
字幕 Separa...
字幕 Splitting your neurological functions in:
字幕 We book an appointment.
字幕 You don't just start counting down.
字幕 This may hurt a bit
字幕 I don't even know what "It" Is.
字幕 Zero.
字幕 Just...
字幕 Isolation complete.
字幕 This is Bo's left brain.
字幕 Objective. Logical. Cold.
字幕 Analytical. Aware of patterns.
字幕 Aware of trends.
字幕 He's efficient.
字幕 And a prick.
字幕 This is Bo's right brain.
字幕 Subjective. Creative. Sensory.
字幕 Aware of feelings.
字幕 Aware of people.
字幕 He's emotional.
字幕 Yes.
字幕 And an idiot.
字幕 That's your opinion... So just...
字幕 Be careful with opinions... Yooo!
字幕 Play nice.
字幕 I am the left brain. I am the left brain.
字幕 I work really hard
字幕 to my inevitable death brain.
字幕 You've got a job to do,
字幕 you better do it right.
字幕 And the right way is with the left brains might.
字幕 I like Oreos and pussy!
字幕 Yeah! Ok!
字幕 And I cried for at least an hour
字幕 after watching Toy Story 3.
字幕 I am the right brain.
字幕 I have feelings.
字幕 I'm a little all over the place,
字幕 but I'm lustful, trustful,
字幕 and I'm looking for somebody to love.
字幕 And put my penis in!
字幕 Here comes a female,
字幕 here comes a female.
字幕 Puff your chest out take your phone
字幕 and check your e-mail
字幕 Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate,
字幕 so gather data now
字幕 and see if she's a possible mate.
字幕 Holy fuck! I think she might be the one!
字幕 There's something about her,
字幕 I just can't describe it.
字幕 Tits.
字幕 I am the earth she is the glorious sun.
字幕 I want her to trust me,
字幕 and I just want her to sit on my face.
字幕 Sit... sit...
字幕 Alright new right brain,
字幕 you're being insane.
字幕 No left brain!
字幕 I'm just being alive!
字幕 You should try it.
字幕 You might like it.
字幕 I worked hard to give him
字幕 everything he cared about.
字幕 You were worried about
字幕 the things he was scared about.
字幕 I'm calm and collected
字幕 when you act wild.
字幕 I am the adult,
字幕 you are the child.
字幕 You think you are the right one every time.
字幕 You think you know everything.
字幕 You don't know anything
字幕 at all.
字幕 Half of his problems
字幕 were supposed to be mine.
字幕 But you wanted everything.
字幕 I hope that you're happy.
字幕 Cos he's sure not.
字幕 Well according to my calculations,
字幕 you are a pussy!
字幕 Name calling? Really?
字幕 We're going to do name calling?
字幕 We are not calling names.
字幕 We are just stating facts.
字幕 And the fact is:
字幕 You're a quivering pussy.
字幕 I'm the pussy?
字幕 Well at least I don't play with toys still.
字幕 OK, Rubik's cubes are not toys.
字幕 They keep my spacial reasoning skills sharp.
字幕 Left brain plays with toys.
字幕 Look at you, Johnny fucking...
字幕 toy player!
字幕 Well at least I did my fucking job.
字幕 I kept him working,
字幕 I kept him productive.
字幕 You were supposed to look after him.
字幕 You were supposed to keep him
字幕 emotionally stable through all this,
字幕 now you are trying to blame me
字幕 for how he's feeling.
字幕 How he's feeling?
字幕 If he's feeling unhappy,
字幕 it's because you failed him.
字幕 You did this to him, he hates you
字幕 I know he does.
字幕 He fucking hates you!
字幕 Right brain, look, I'm sorry.
字幕 No you're not...
字幕 Look, maybe there's something
字幕 that we could do together.
字幕 Together?
字幕 Take the best parts of both of us.
字幕 And put them together.
字幕 I'm listening...
字幕 It would let you let your feelings out,
字幕 it would let me analyse.
字幕 So you could man the themes,
字幕 I'll man the form.
字幕 It's something that George Carlin did,
字幕 It's something that Steve Martin did,
字幕 It's something special that we could both perform.
字幕 Do you know what it is?
字幕 Juggling?
字幕 We could juggle,
字幕 and juggle our cares away!
字幕 It was comedy.
字幕 We could do comedy together.
字幕 Initiate reassembly.
字幕 Alright, right brain,
字幕 we are going to do comedy together.
字幕 Altight left brain,
字幕 I'll do comedy with you.
字幕 Look, we can fix him like this.
字幕 Make him happy again.
字幕 I promise.
字幕 Left brain...
字幕 Left brain I love you!
字幕 I know.
字幕 Experimentation complete.
字幕 Thank you very much.
字幕 At this part of the show
字幕 I'd like to talk about how deep I am.
字幕 I'm pretty fucking deep... deep... deep...
字幕 So deep...
字幕 That I called this song...
字幕 Hash-tag deep.
字幕 Have you ever stopped
字幕 to watch a bluebird drop from a tree
字幕 and take to the air?
字幕 Me neither.
字幕 Have you ever took time
字幕 out to finish a rhyme
字幕 but the right words just weren't there?
字幕 Meat cleaver.
字幕 The people in my life,
字幕 are like grains of sand.
字幕 Cos they stick together.
字幕 Often near my butthole.
字幕 If life is an ocean,
字幕 I am a deep and handsome fish.
字幕 A fish that's drowning.
字幕 If the artistic process
字幕 is a birth canal
字幕 then I am a freshly jellied kid,
字幕 come witness my crowning.
字幕 These thoughts of mine,
字幕 must be a sign that I'm,
字幕 hash-tag deep.
字幕 If jesus can walk on water,
字幕 can he swim on land?
字幕 Have you ever
字幕 accidentally peed on the toilet seat
字幕 instead of on your girlfriends face.
字幕 Me neither.
字幕 Me neither!
字幕 Have you ever wrote a song
字幕 note for note,
字幕 and not a single note was out of place.
字幕 The people in my life,
字幕 are like blades of grass.
字幕 How?
字幕 Cos they're all so grounded,
字幕 But at least grass stays away
字幕 from my BUTTHOLE!
字幕 Art is a harlot,
字幕 and I am her sassy urban friend.
字幕 Oooh... That's why
字幕 you're being so selfish.
字幕 If mamma is right,
字幕 and the world is my oyster,
字幕 then I must have an allergy to shell...
字幕 You don't know,
字幕 how could you know?
字幕 If life makes you wish
字幕 you were dead.
字幕 Just put on a good movie
字幕 then promptly put a bullet in your head.
字幕 Spend forever asleep.
字幕 Cos life pales in comparison
字幕 to living the dream.
字幕 Hash-tag deep.
字幕 Thank you.
字幕 Don't you hate it when that happens?
字幕 Yeah.
字幕 Thank you, That's called:
字幕 "Beating off in A minor".
字幕 Yes... Yes...
字幕 "A-minor", the key, not the felony.
字幕 So...
字幕 I believe...
字幕 I beilive there's nothing more manly
字幕 one can do
字幕 then take a shower with 5 other guys.
字幕 It's true.
字幕 It's early caveman, Cro-Magnon,
字幕 wandering though the fog.
字幕 You know scrubbing 5 other sapiens,
字幕 no homo.
字幕 I'd like to do... erm...
字幕 do some poems right now.
字幕 Erm... if that's ok?
字幕 We're at this point at the show.
字幕 These poems are actually...
字幕 I'm releasing this special for free
字幕 so I'm going to plug my poetry book.
字幕 These are my new poems from my poetry book
字幕 called "Egghead".
字幕 That will be out by the time this is airing.
字幕 But not by the time
字幕 you guys are seated here right now.
字幕 They are pretty serious,
字幕 and it's all just sort of...
字幕 This is usually the lull of the show. Usually.
字幕 So I like at this point to sort of
字幕 take the pressure of the audience.
字幕 And just read some poems,
字幕 and then we'll go back to the giggles. So...
字幕 This is a poem by a dog:
字幕 "Roses are gray. Violets are a different shade of gray."
字幕 "Let's go chase cars."
字幕 +
字幕 "Me. With my strange choice of adjectives."
字幕 "You with your muscular teeth and your clockwise vagina."
字幕 "I put a chameleon on a red dildo."
字幕 Well...
字幕 "He blushed!"
字幕 There we go.
字幕 This is a poem about beauty,
字幕 about self image,
字幕 and about the ability to transform.
字幕 "Martha was ugly, like a shaven baboon."
字幕 "So she wrapped her self up"
字幕 "In a curtain cocoon."
字幕 "And after a week she finally emerged."
字幕 "She smelled like shit! What a psycho."
字幕 +
字幕 "You're incomparable."
字幕 "Like a ... "
字幕 + +
字幕 "I want to beat you to death with a blunt object!"
字幕 "I want to grab one of those"
字幕 "High end fashion manikins by the ankles"
字幕 "And bash your rib cage in!"
字幕 "I want to sharpen 15 pencils"
字幕 "Bind them with a rubber band"
字幕 "Stick the lead in your mouth"
字幕 "And punch the erasers!"
字幕 "I want to strap you to a bed of nails"
字幕 "Then strap that bed of nails to the hood of my car"
字幕 "So I can watch you suffer as we drive over speed bumps"
字幕 "In a mall parking lot during an earthquake!"
字幕 "I want you to somehow survive"
字幕 "A terrible car crash and then somehow"
字幕 "Not survive a small fender bender"
字幕 "On the way back from a hospital."
字幕 +
字幕 Thank you that's called "Dad".
字幕 +
字幕 This is a poem... It's really a story
字幕 that's meant primarily for children.
字幕 But I think it's got a lesson
字幕 we could all learn.
字幕 "The squares lived happily."
字幕 "In their square houses."
字幕 "In their square yard."
字幕 "In their square town."
字幕 "But then one day,"
字幕 "A family of circles moved in from the west"
字幕 "Get out of here roundies!"
字幕 "Shouted one of the squares."
字幕 "Why? Said one of the circles"
字幕 "Cos this is a metaphor for racism"
字幕 + +
字幕 "When I walk into a party"
字幕 "You'd think I was one of those long straight Tetris pieces"
字幕 "Cos everyone's just like: Oh yeah. This guy's here"
字幕 "Finally we've been waiting for him to show up"
字幕 Like you wait... in the game... Forget it.
字幕 No. You had your chance.
字幕 "If I had a million dollars"
字幕 "I'd pay your mother to have sex with me"
字幕 "Afterwards I'd probably invest the remaining $999.990"
字幕 Ten dollars for sex with your mother.
字幕 Comedy!
字幕 I smell comedy.
字幕 Well, it was comedy giving off that scent.
字幕 And finally:
字幕 "Mid October,"
字幕 "With leaves spilled like colored pencil shavings."
字幕 "The streets dicing our town into neat, unfair portions."
字幕 "And me."
字幕 "Eating that pussy baby!"
字幕 + Thank you so much.
字幕 Um...
字幕 There's things that I don't want to come across
字幕 In my show, that I worry often come across, about me,
字幕 cos people don't realize it's an act up here.
字幕 I don't want you to ever
字幕 think that I think that I'm better then people.
字幕 or that I think I know better then people.
字幕 Um... anyway, sorry. OK.
字幕 This is a song from the perspective of God.
字幕 + +
字幕 Books you think I wrote are way to thick.
字幕 Who needs a thousand metaphos
字幕 to figure out you shouldn't be a dick.
字幕 And I don't watch you when you sleep
字幕 Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence
字幕 to be a fucking creep.
字幕 You're not going to heaven.
字幕 Why the fuck would you think
字幕 I'd ever kick it with you?
字幕 None of you are going to heaven.
字幕 There's a trillion aliens cooler then you.
字幕 You shouldn't abstain from rape
字幕 just cos you think that I want you to.
字幕 You shouldn't rape
字幕 cos rape is a fucked up thing to do.
字幕 Pretty obvious, just don't fucking rape people.
字幕 Didn't think I needed to write that one down for you.
字幕 I don't think masturbation is obscene.
字幕 It's absolutely natural
字幕 and the weirdest fucking thing
字幕 I've ever seen.
字幕 You make my job a living hell.
字幕 I send gays to fix overpopulation.
字幕 Boy did that go well.
字幕 You're not going to heaven.
字幕 Eat a thousand crackers,
字幕 sing a million hymns.
字幕 None of you are going to heaven.
字幕 You're not my children,
字幕 you are a bad game of sim.
字幕 You shouldn't abstain from pork
字幕 just cos you think that I want you to.
字幕 You can eat pork
字幕 cos why the fuck would I give a shit?
字幕 I created the universe,
字幕 you think I'm drawing the line at the fucking deli isle?
字幕 +
字幕 You argue and you bicker
字幕 and you fight.
字幕 Atheists and Catholics,
字幕 Jews and Hindus argue day and night.
字幕 Over what they think is true.
字幕 But no one entertains the thought,
字幕 that maybe God does not Believe in you.
字幕 You pray so badly for heaven.
字幕 Knowing any day might be the day that you die.
字幕 But maybe life on earth could be heaven?
字幕 Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
字幕 My love's the type of thing
字幕 that you have to earn.
字幕 And when you earn it
字幕 you won't need it.
字幕 My love's the type of thing
字幕 that you have to earn.
字幕 And when you earn it
字幕 you won't need it.
字幕 I'm not gonna give you love
字幕 just cos I know that you want me to.
字幕 If you want love
字幕 then the love has gotta come from you.
字幕 +
字幕 "Walking between the micorphones"
字幕 "Is really awkward."
字幕 Tell me about it.
字幕 Um...
字幕 Women are stupid!
字幕 Yeah I fucking said it.
字幕 They are the weaker, dumber sex.
字幕 I can prove it to you.
字幕 I like to practice safe sex.
字幕 Why? Cos I'm a guy.
字幕 And I'm smarter.
字幕 What do women say, every time?
字幕 Every time I put on a condom,
字幕 what do they say?
字幕 "Why are you wearing a condom?"
字幕 "I'm fucking you with a strap-on."
字幕 To be safe bitch!
字幕 Women right, they're the dumb ones.
字幕 It's time for a story.
字幕 Let's do a story.
字幕 "It's time for a story."
字幕 "A very special story"
字幕 "Especially for you."
字幕 "It's time for a story."
字幕 "It's time for a story!"
字幕 "Sit down and listen now."
字幕 "Don't be a Jew."
字幕 This story is called...
字幕 It's a glitch! You can be Jewish.
字幕 This story...
字幕 This story is called: "Andy the frog".
字幕 Featuring long and convoluted similes.
字幕 And I'll warn you when one of those
字幕 long and convoluted similes
字幕 rears it's old, head.
字幕 So here we go:
字幕 "Once upon a time, there was a frog name Andy."
字幕 "Andy lived at the patent park pond."
字幕 "And he never hopped anywhere else"
字幕 "In his entire frog life."
字幕 "He had three best friends:"
字幕 "Milly, who never left her lily pad."
字幕 "Billy, who was always hopping mad."
字幕 "And Roger, who was arrested for possession of tadpole porn."
字幕 "So one day..."
字幕 "One day..."
字幕 "Andy saw something hop across the grass"
字幕 "On the other side of the pond."
字幕 "Milly, Billy, Roger, look! -Said Andy."
字幕 "Across the pond stood"
字幕 "The most beautiful frog Andy had ever seen."
字幕 "She's gorgeous! -Said Milly."
字幕 "She's beautiful! -Said Billy."
字幕 "A bit old for my taste! -Said Roger."
字幕 "Classic Roger!"
字幕 "And then she was gone."
字幕 "I need to go find her! -Said Andy."
字幕 "I need to follow my little frog heart."
字幕 "So Andy followed the beautiful frogs footsteps into the forest."
字幕 "He then came across a turtle."
字幕 "You can't pass! -Said the turtle."
字幕 "Please? -Said Andy."
字幕 "No! -Said the turtle."
字幕 And this is the first long convoluted simile:
字幕 "Then there was a rustling in the bushes."
字幕 "And, like a man who had been shot in the chest with a rifle,"
字幕 "The turtle was shot in the chest with a rifle."
字幕 +
字幕 "Andy kept moving, but at this point,"
字幕 "Like the doctor of the Kenyan track team"
字幕 "His patience ran thin."
字幕 "Andy kept moving."
字幕 "He then came across a giant crocodile."
字幕 "And the crocodile began to chant:"
字幕 "I woke up this morning,"
字幕 "And I sat on a log."
字幕 "I opened up the menu,"
字幕 "The menu said FROG!"
字幕 "Andy said: No! No! Please let go of me!"
字幕 "I can feel my self dying!"
字幕 "You're ripping out my insides!"
字幕 "I'm never going to find her, am I?"
字幕 "There's no God, Is there?"
字幕 "Fuck!" "FUCK!!!!"
字幕 The end. The end!
字幕 So, that's the end of that story.
字幕 +
字幕 If you are curious, the moral of that story
字幕 is irrelevant, cos we are humans.
字幕 Why would it apply to us?
字幕 Um...
字幕 You know my father
字幕 is so hard to get along with.
字幕 Cos he's such a man's man.
字幕 You know? He beilives, like, for example:
字幕 You should always fight fire with fire.
字幕 Which is a horrible way to live your life.
字幕 Especially for him, because he's a firefighter so...
字幕 He was fired...
字幕 That was as stupid as we get.
字幕 But let's get a little stupider, ha?
字幕 "There's a creepy old man"
字幕 "Fishing in a park."
字幕 "And the only problem is"
字幕 "He tied a candy bar"
字幕 "To the end of his line."
字幕 "He's trying to catch a kid."
字幕 You know that stuff...
字幕 Trying to get a little more mainstream.
字幕 Um... People complain about the way I act on stage
字幕 very often, you know.
字幕 They say, like, I repeat jokes.
字幕 Or they also say that
字幕 They say... They don't get again,
字幕 that this is an act, on stage.
字幕 They think on stage I act
字幕 too arrogant, too self-obsessed,
字幕 solipsistic, self-contained, synonyms.
字幕 And they want me to be...
字幕 They want me to be a comic of the people.
字幕 You know. Relate to the people
字幕 with the overarching glue of comedy.
字幕 So I want to do a little bit of relatable comedy for you guys.
字幕 I'm like you guys, you know.
字幕 Once a week I like to slip into a deep existential depression
字幕 where I loose all my sense of oneness and self worth. Ha-ha!
字幕 And what I like to do in
字幕 order to assure my self that I am unique,
字幕 and not just one of many small white indistinguishable
字幕 perfectly cylindric checker
字幕 pieces in jesus and Satan's backgammon game.
字幕 Is, I will... I'll say a group a words
字幕 that I think no one has ever said.
字幕 in that order.
字幕 So that... when I say it,
字幕 I feel like: "Look at me!"
字幕 Participating in this new
字幕 moment that no one's ever been a part of.
字幕 So I'll say something random like
字幕 "Peanut-butter tribadism."
字幕 "I'm your father and I loved your comedy show."
字幕 "At first I wasn't
字幕 comfortable leaving him alone with my children"
字幕 "But then I saw his mustache. Phew..."
字幕 Or um...
字幕 "Yo! Check out this Amish website!"
字幕 Or um...
字幕 "I work at a toll booth and I don't want to kill my self."
字幕 Or... That's... too...
字幕 Too real.
字幕 "Yo man! Life's about three things man,"
字幕 "Three things!"
字幕 "Gettin' money!"
字幕 "Gettin' pussy!"
字幕 "And the Dewey Decimal System!"
字幕 Or... Um...
字幕 "Hey! Can you hold my fanny pack I'm gonna go fuck a woman."
字幕 +
字幕 Um... If I could break...
字幕 I want to tank you all for being here
字幕 because I...
字幕 I'm so grateful that you'd all come here
字幕 and spend an hour of your time with me.
字幕 And if you are watching at home or whatever.
字幕 On a computer or something.
字幕 If you have made it this far,
字幕 That you very much for watching.
字幕 Genuinely... I... This is my favorite thing to do.
字幕 And I'm so grateful for people watching it
字幕 and enjoying it. Um... OK.
字幕 I will now recede back into my stage persona
字幕 I just blacked out for 20 seconds.
字幕 Thank you for coming.
字幕 Love songs used to be so beautiful.
字幕 "Let us go then, you and I."
字幕 "When the evening is spread out against the sky"
字幕 "Like a patient etherised upon a table" -T. S. Eliot. Beautiful.
字幕 Love songs now a days
字幕 Just as beautiful, guys!
字幕 Usher, Justin Bieber, 1D.
字幕 You know them.
字幕 But these new atrists
字幕 they've done something very strange
字幕 to the format of the love song
字幕 they've changed it a bit.
字幕 And I try to... capture how they've
字幕 changed the format of the love song
字幕 with this love song.
字幕 I hope you enjoy it
字幕 and mark the differences.
字幕 Jason Derulo.
字幕 I love your hair,
字幕 I love your name,
字幕 I love the way you say it.
字幕 I love your heart
字幕 and you're so smart
字幕 cos you gave away it.
字幕 I love your sis,
字幕 I love your dad,
字幕 And I love your mom.
字幕 But more then all of that
字幕 I love the fact that you are dumb
字幕 enough, to not realise
字幕 everything I've said
字幕 has been said before
字幕 in a thousand ways
字幕 in a thousand songs
字幕 sung with the same four chords.
字幕 But you'll still love it
字幕 and let me finger you.
字幕 Yeaaa! Finger you!!
字幕 Finger you!!!
字幕 Oh girl, I hope you don't think that I'm rude,
字幕 when I tell you that I love you boo.
字幕 I also hope that see through
字幕 this cleverly constructed ruse,
字幕 designed by a marketing team
字幕 cashing in on puberty and low self esteem
字幕 and girls desperate need to feel loved.
字幕 America says we love a chorus,
字幕 but don't get complicated and bore us.
字幕 Though meaning might be missin'
字幕 We need to know the words after just one listen
字幕 so repeat stuff...
字幕 .Repeat stuff..
字幕 ..Repeat stuff.
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 .Repeat stuff..
字幕 ..Repeat stuff.
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 .Repeat stuff..
字幕 ..Repeat stuff.
字幕 ...repeat stuff.
字幕 Yeah. Oh you know it?
字幕 I love my baby and you know
字幕 I could not live without her.
字幕 But now I need to make every girl
字幕 think this song's about her.
字幕 Just to make sure that they
字幕 spread it like the plague.
字幕 So I describe my dream girl
字幕 as really really vague, like:
字幕 I love your hands
字幕 cos your fingerprints are like no other.
字幕 I love your eyes
字幕 and their blueish-brownish-greenish color.
字幕 I love it when you smile
字幕 that you smile wide.
字幕 And I love how your torso
字幕 has a arm on either side.
字幕 If you're my agent,
字幕 you might be thinking:
字幕 "Oh no!"
字幕 "Sound the alarm!"
字幕 "You're not appealing"
字幕 "To little girls"
字幕 "Who don't have arms."
字幕 But they can't use iTunes, so...
字幕 FUCK them!
字幕 Who needs them?
字幕 Oh girl I ho...
字幕 Oh! Hello Satan!
字幕 Satan you taste so good!
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 .Repeat stuff..
字幕 ..Repeat stuff.
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 .Repeat stuff..
字幕 Everybody!
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 .Repeat stuff..
字幕 ..Repeat stuff.
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 C'mon, louder. I can't hear you.
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 .Repeat stuff.
字幕 ..Repeat stuff.
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 +
字幕 Young ones, listen up!
字幕 I'm in magazines,
字幕 full of model teens
字幕 so far above you.
字幕 So read them
字幕 and hate your self.
字幕 And pay me to tell you
字幕 I love you.
字幕 And your parents will always come along.
字幕 Because their little girl is in love!
字幕 And how can love be wrong?
字幕 How can love be wrong?
字幕 When you repeat stuff...
字幕 .Repeat stuff..
字幕 ..Repeat stuff.
字幕 repeat stuff...
字幕 .Rep...
字幕 ...I am a vessel...
字幕 ....666...
字幕 ...llluminati...
字幕 We know it's not right.
字幕 We know it's not funny.
字幕 But we'll stop beating this dead horse
字幕 when it stops spiting out money.
字幕 But until then...
字幕 We will repeat stuff.
字幕 +
字幕 Thank you so much, you guys have been... Um...
字幕 you guys have been absolutely amazing.
字幕 You've been absolutely amazing.
字幕 That's the end of the show.
字幕 I probably should have ended it
字幕 on a sort of higher note there.
字幕 But yeah, that's the end of "What."
字幕 I hope you liked it...
字幕 Bo!
字幕 Oh my god!
字幕 How are you?
字幕 I have not seen you
字幕 since like freshman year.
字幕 Oh my god!
字幕 You were so like skinny
字幕 And weird back then.
字幕 But now you're... Um...
字幕 Anyway... Um...
字幕 You should totally come
字幕 to this party I'm having tonight
字幕 with some of my college friends.
字幕 It's gonna be off the chain hook!
字幕 It's gonna be so good.
字幕 You can play some songs for us,
字幕 or something.
字幕 I've been telling everybody
字幕 how good a friends we were
字幕 Back in the day.
字幕 I know we never talked
字幕 or hung out ever, but... Um...
字幕 I think that's what made
字幕 our friendship so special, you know.
字幕 Anyway, text me. OK. Bye.
字幕 Mr. Burnham?
字幕 How you doing?
字幕 Good? Good.
字幕 I'm a... I'm a agent
字幕 from out Los Angeles.
字幕 Really dig your stuff man.
字幕 It's out there. You know.
字幕 I totally get it.
字幕 And the best part about it man,
字幕 you got all these young fans.
字幕 And... Which is great
字幕 Because young people,
字幕 they're... they're very passionate,
字幕 they're very... Um... reliable consumers.
字幕 But what you gotta do
字幕 in order to take your career
字幕 to the next level,
字幕 you gotta cater more heavily to them.
字幕 Alright, we've done studies,
字幕 young people do not respond
字幕 to this, you know, introspective material
字幕 these challenges to the form, you know.
字幕 Young people want jokes
字幕 they can relate to. OK?
字幕 So... Write a...
字幕 Write a silly song about Facebook
字幕 you know, write some jokes
字幕 about Twitter,
字幕 or sugary cereal,
字幕 or razor scooters.
字幕 Relate to them.
字幕 You know, also
字幕 you gotta reestablish your presence
字幕 on the internet buddy. Alright?
字幕 It's not important weather
字幕 the material is good or not.
字幕 What's important is
字幕 that you keep the Bo Burnham brand
字幕 Alive and well.
字幕 You get it? Cool.
字幕 We'll discuss more later
字幕 I know it's a lot.
字幕 My number is 310... 555...
字幕 Fag!
字幕 What up dude!
字幕 What's up? How are you man?
字幕 You've changed bro.
字幕 You've changed.
字幕 I never knew you.
字幕 But my friends old room mate's friend
字幕 said he knew you in highschool
字幕 and that you became a real asshole
字幕 once all this comedy stuff started happening.
字幕 What is it man?
字幕 You think you are better then us?
字幕 You think you are better then us
字幕 just because you are tall?
字幕 Woah, congtars man, you are tall.
字幕 Wow! That's incredible.
字幕 Woah! You want a trophy
字幕 for being tall?
字幕 You wonna... We should just give
字幕 trophies to tall things
字幕 and every tree, and building
字幕 will have a trophy.
字幕 Does that make sense?
字幕 Yo? Why are you acting
字幕 all quiet and weird right now?
字幕 Yo I know why you are.
字幕 It's cos you are an arrogant prick,
字幕 that's why. An arrogant fucking prick!
字幕 I once herd that you
字幕 actually act quiet because
字幕 you are shy and introverted in real life,
字幕 and that people should not expect
字幕 you to act the same way
字幕 off stage as you do on stage.
字幕 Ha ha! Yeah, yeah...
字幕 That makes no sense.
字幕 Anyway, you wanna buy some weed?
字幕 Bo! Oh my god!
字幕 Bo!
字幕 Oh my god!
字幕 Mr. Burnham.
字幕 Bo!
字幕 Fag!
字幕 Bo!
字幕 Oh my god!
字幕 Mr. Burnham.
字幕 Bo!
字幕 Fag!
字幕 Bo!
字幕 Oh my god!
字幕 Mr. Burnham.
字幕 I am Satan, lord of darkness!
字幕 What the hell?
字幕 You're not gonna hit the girl?
字幕 That's sexist!
字幕 We think you've changed, bro.
字幕 We know best.
字幕 You suck!
字幕 We think you've changed, bro.
字幕 We know best.
字幕 You suck!
字幕 We think
字幕 We know
字幕 You
字幕 We think
字幕 We know
字幕 You
字幕 We think
字幕 We know
字幕 You
字幕 We think
字幕 We know
字幕 You
字幕 We think
字幕 We know
字幕 You
字幕 We think
字幕 We know
字幕 You
字幕 We think
字幕 We know
字幕 You
字幕 We think
字幕 We know
字幕 You