[Music]
hi I was looking for a king for the
candy store yeah it closed 14 years ago
fourth grade I used to blow half my
lunch money in here on candy candy
buttons yes hey wait wait wait don't eat
it all at once save some for the plane
hi how did you I assume you wanted to
travel alone since your wife left you
okay yeah Dario what is this place well
what do you want it to be an escape to a
simpler time when you had no worries
yeah that'd be nice now all I got is
divorce lawyers an ungrateful wife and
employees will need me to tell them what
color egg to use Hey
wouldn't you rather type over here
closer to the light you know get it
right wow you're a take-charge guy I'll
mark that on your phone so what form I
think you'd like to look at this
brochure
[Music]
the land of skulls brings back memories
yes something I made up when I was a kid
or when you had worries that's where
you'd go it was in my head not anymore
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
careful you know what they got a pet cat
next that's beautiful
file that one just made a mess system
heaven Harry just before the holidays I
leave by meat you want some I'll take
the drumstick tease it a whole when I'm
watching TV I've invited these birds
here for sanctuary
what thanks for it from becoming
casualties to a meaningless rich more
meaningless the holidays these turkeys
are our guests yeah you'll treat them
accordingly
yes boss make sure to calm niblet on
their pillow at night I want to save you
for first
[Music]
smiles everyone smiles a bit more
enthusiasm cow ah
that's Ashley Gable and her boyfriend
Joe as a couple they've reached one of
the most dreaded points in any
relationship what the morning after
she's about to introduce him to her
family
now that's michael wilkinson he's here
on a brief stopover before i take him to
his final destination a place he hasn't
been to in over 20 years
come on luggage you're supposed to be
working which one was this or an
instrument saw those beautiful which
ones that yeah
so you know where I get some Assizes
around here oh yes that one
I've got his papers in my office I'm
your host mr. wrong welcome to Fantasy
Island
let me get a shot of that holiday god
forbid we shouldn't have a imperialist
feast to celebrate the destruction of
yet another indigenous peoples dead
would you [ __ ] the bird my chainsaw is
in the shop
oh that isn't Ashley look cute today
Vince swapping outfits with Barbie again
that's us less thing skipping CY every
boyfriend I ever got home always ran
away screaming yes I think I get the
idea
See Mom well she'll offer Jo some flat
Cola dad he'll rave about the virtues of
collective farming Kristin she'll share
stories from cellblock H and Rob the
gnome will capture it all on video
Ashley every family has its little
idiosyncrasies oh no not Jo's his family
actually has a white picket fence his
brothers and sisters take vacations
together
let's hope they books up for clues and
Jo he's he's just like them
he's always Pleasant never argues he's
perfect
hmm and that's just what you want your
family to be is it perfect family yes
perfectly boring but anyway your fantasy
I've set you up in the beach house for
the holiday and they won't be aggressive
or hostile or embarrassing no longer
approach everything will be just as you
requested I hate my job so it's true
what they say it takes a lovely gardener
to make a lovely guy I hate what do you
want work alright that's about our third
guest mr. Fred Knox he's expecting you
know how I feel about bottles Ariel we
all have our roles to play
I'm not calling a master I failed to
understand all this fuss over
Thanksgiving it's about family harry
every year mom will put on my clip on
time we drive to Nana's for Turkey a
balloon we'd always carve if he wasn't
in jail and the kids would always fight
over the wishbone I always wished for a
white Christmas Harry even though we
were in Miami you Americans such maudlin
sentimentalists I don't know what that
means but I don't like the sound of it
alright well I know that's a good thing
we had that revolution and tossed your
red coat butts out of here oh shoot I
was gonna buy you a corsage
so we'd remember a boyfriend meets the
family day I'm sure who'll remember I
just hope my family okay I hope you like
oh sure I will after all
they made you didn't they
oh you must be joking yes I'm a dad glad
to meet you sir
ma'am I was on my five mile run this
morning and I passed the most beautiful
lemon tree so help yourself thank you
you made lemonade with lemons well I was
going to make it with onions but that
didn't seem right oh we're forgetting
something hey kids your sister's got
somebody for you to meet Joe this is my
brother and sister it's good to meet you
hi Kristen you look
look at you I'm gonna have to borrow
that sweater
I stayed up late last night and I make
chocolate marzipan pumpkins you're just
in time for charades I've gotta warn you
we've been practicing oh yeah not at all
like you described I love charades all
right where are we going really I told
you as per your fantasy I'm taking you
the scar Oh Oh give it up Roark it
doesn't exist I made it up
then what better place to run away from
your problems
what is going on
[Music]
I knew it would come in useful
[Music]
mmm delicious try some
[Music]
this root beer but what would you expect
from a root beer pong
I didn't see a sign post but I feel
fairly certain this is cause if this is
root beer pong
this must be
the tree of good chocolate just as you
can see oh my goodness some really in
scars that means right over there should
be the magic things aren't always as
magic well I'm afraid the ogre filled it
in he needed somewhere to dump his
hazardous waste hmm remember any yogurt
oh yes he lived under the troll bridge
the last time you wee the magic well
yeah there are still some wonderful
things in scars oh no princess
you remember saving it from the monks
well she's all grown up now she'd love
to see you get out here she's right over
here
shall we what wait a minute that's not
the palace though that's where the
palace used to be what happened yes it
was a lovely palace unfortunate to be
hoga needed the man for his new
headquarters the ogre Shopping Network
welcome to the older shopping ok
Shopping Network where you must be
satisfied please what is she doing here
and why wouldn't she be here
the owner owns all that's his wife
[Music]
dinner on Mars the most dangerous thing
on Mars
Barr's what's going on
[Music]
val kilmer carrie-anne moss and tom
sizemore the network television premiere
red planet saturday at 9 o sci-fi
[Music]
which denim stars you try new fruit
blends rich creamy taste fruit in every
spoon homeowners what would you do to
avoid the stress of qualifying for a
home loan Ameriquest mortgage
understands why you hesitate and that's
why we've made getting a loan so easy
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Ameriquest has perfected the art of the
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for yourself call Ameriquest at 1 800
662 help I need us I want to get closer
to my children
I want to taste something exotic
[Music]
I want to ride off with that special
someone
I want to take part in a native ritual
[Music]
want to
[Music]
- thrilling theme parks world-class
hotels restaurants and incredible
nightlife Universal Orlando Resort a
vacation from the ordinary fairy tales
and pixie dust not quite your thing log
on to Universal Orlando comm for a
vacation package that'll blow your mind
in my family if one wants pizza the
other wants Chinese even their stomachs
don't agree if one gets into Jess tchen
the other one gets heartburn if one gets
nausea the other one gets so I get
pepto-bismol as it coats it relieves
heartburn indigestion upset stomachs
nausea and diarrhea it it take a box
full of other medicines to do what
pepto-bismol does agree pepto-bismol
first aid for heartburn diarrhea nausea
indigestion and upset stomachs
[Music]
I paid more than twice that's right
Tommy Boy throw you can eat nothing I
was just making a little guy feel
welcome like you asked
Oh making him welcome to making him fat
okay it's Thanksgiving all right his
place is on the plateau you lay one hand
on his turkey any of these turkeys
you'll be the one on the platter
look at hi guys I'm gonna tell you this
sucks I didn't spend three months salary
did you go on a treasure hunt come on
tell me where the damn thing is try that
yeah
course Oh you down there you gotta be in
there come on yes
Wow
[Music]
oh mama
now I know it I'm that was dreaming
about during all those Arabian Nights
did you want something I get a genie er
talks back a genies allowed to talk back
come on
three wishes let's just do all of them
that's not what you're supposed to say
come on
your wish is my command
oh you're so sexy when you say it like
that I might just say my last wish for
you okay I want six adoring female whose
only purpose in life is to it's to
please me oh that's original
hey just give me the goods come on as
your desire
[Music]
I couldn't talk before if my husband
knew how I felt when I saw you again his
temper well you just remember one day
you were gone oh no I just grew up you
know I kind of got too old for this kind
of thing too old huh
oh I'm immature I'm I'm dragging you
down do me a favor have yourself some
Delilah barity okay yeah I understand
you were upset but you have to go and
marry an ogre oh he wasn't always like
this every month on the anniversary of
our first date he used to bring me a
bouquet of sunflowers really he spent
quite a bit on sunflowers but now he
just complains if I don't answer the
phones right I'm I'm telling you I'm not
his wife I'm his prisoner but you do
always seem to show up at the right
moment
remember when I was captured by the
trappers and yes that was right before I
turn 16 then things started to change
after that for me
hey it's good to see you too yeah come
here I've missed you
who has more fun than this family no one
dad she's in trouble
Kristen great shot
you're gonna have to show me your o-ring
grip mr. mark I need to talk to you is
there a problem
I hope your family isn't causing any
trouble
no it's yes they are so not themselves
they're pleasant it's a trade secret
you're not medicated are they no Fantasy
Island is a drug-free zone even our
cigars our mom is pushing to wheelies
dad's a Republican Rob talks Kristen is
smiling in other words they're perfect
isn't that what you always wanted
yeah
yeah miss gable do you like pumpkin pie
[Music]
get awake and wait for me back off
stay away when I asked for six adoring
females
this is not what I meant really look you
don't have to like me okay
you just have to serve me so how about
serving up wish number two and that
would be five not and fifty million
bucks what the hell as you desire
[Music]
that looks nobody
doze in Kristen will you fill me up I'm
an empty shell of a maid I've been
waiting 20 minutes for you we are
windsurfing aren't we oh right I was
having so much fun I lost track of the
time feel like I'm back home you're not
here with me so let's go My Little Miss
grumpy huh
okay let me just staff finish do it okay
[Laughter]
[Music]
Joe
[Music]
I found that you're here who my husband
oh I don't know how Katherine you can't
live like this
come with me run away with me there is
no way
is always away
[Music]
tonight while oversleeps killing
[Music]
here's the fairytale ending what is this
place it's just the worst nightmare I've
ever had q25 hurt you a sidelight
pictures original Thursday at 9:00
Oh Syfy 1 for 12 rounds is all about
stem ax is wild like I'm durin Smoltz
place no deoderant protects better and a
last line because the bad grades more
slow want proof if you're not convinced
don't splice will buy you stick of your
old stuff can you put it this way I'm
dirt last on your knives
I'm working on that mom dad I snuck out
you caught invaded my privacy I hated it
I hate it I thought you were the worst
parents in the world Thanks you know
there aren't many things in a car that
are more important to your safety than
the brakes so if you've been driving for
a while with the same set of brake pads
then you need to get in the zone Auto
Zone at Auto Zone we've got everything
you need for a brake job and it's easy
to do so don't put it off any longer
play it safe and avoid an accident get
to Auto Zone for a new set of brake pads
today people started dying coincidence
find the bodies
explained did you feel that can't be
denied it's all around us this doesn't
make any sense that can't be imagined
[Music]
identity winds are in theaters
everywhere April 25th boy do people love
coming home to a breeze fresh house
Febreze sweeps away stale odors so the
whole house feels fresh air clean which
you're gonna love a lot
Febreze the more you use it the more you
love it
[Applause]
Jack try our new Cordon Bleu top chicken
with ham mozzarella creamy Dijon cheese
sauce and breadcrumbs with two sides and
cornbread for 649 Boston Market
we're always picking on an all-new
tremors the series Burt Gummer 'he's got
more than one
right in the crosshairs he's got
competitions my game tremors the series
all new every Friday at 9:00 with
encores every Wednesday at 8:00 only on
Syfy
[Music]
just like me
[Music]
Oh
can't be too careful you know it's not
just the UV rays that you have to worry
about
there's iPhone and I know are you doing
we were just talking about you buddy
margarita
you don't like margaritas murder no you
don't we were in los peces and you said
you didn't like margaritas B order the
red one because you said that you didn't
like margaritas
[Laughter]
gentleman dr. Robin
but if I size UT how there are months
worth of sandwiches you kidding me what
the bones
No look at you and look at me
we look exactly alike no I'm taller and
much more handsome
[Music]
area mr. Knox came by to see me you're
blocking my focal point oh sorry I
wouldn't want to block your focal point
he's not satisfied in the man of which
you've granted his wishes
[Music]
amazing what you can do with your body I
gave him what he wanted if it can't be
more specific it's not my fault come on
now Ariel you're supposed to accommodate
the spirits of the requests yes but his
own spirit is so wretched well he was
perfect they wouldn't send him here with
that what's the point just give him what
he wants all right I'll make sure next
time is more specific thank you
[Music]
honey sister was rubbing my boyfriend's
back with suntan lotion
there was bare skin warm hands it was
touching okay
I'm guilty sorry I don't know fight I'm
not fighting we're discussing you're
yelling we're fighting so what it's
normal people fight well my family
doesn't your family doesn't you don't
know my family I know I like them it's
too bad you don't realize how special
they are
hey kids
you're running longer
[Music]
Oh Catherine you got to get me out of
here I'm going crazy you wonder where go
into the morning okay hey you know I was
wondering isn't it weird that your
husband means we look alike
do you kidding like twins one big twin
one little twin this really isn't the
time
yeah but haven't you noticed all right
maybe that's one of the reasons I fell
for him but you took could be lesser
like in the way you act and that's what
matters now can't we go
something smells good mom
[Music]
[Applause]
mmm and it smells so wonderful
yeah Oh Joe that's Joe
[Music]
you know Joe I can't wait to gobble it
Oh shall we join hands
honey Ashley what's wrong Ashley
nothing's wrong everything's perfect
you're darn tootin it is so let's join
hands and pray dad you're an atheist oh
I know but you know we've got so darn
much to be thankful for
what's nothing to you people
Ashley what's your problem
damn let's play charades let's make pie
Joe we need to get out of here what I'm
not going anywhere
Joe please we can have our Thanksgiving
somewhere else no I like it here
that's sweet I like your family oh and I
think I think
you think what
I'm falling in love with your sister oh
[Music]
I'm so happy for you what I'm sorry but
everything you do everything you say
that land it's perfect isn't that the
sweetest thing you've ever had I just
want you to be good in my little girl
and I will sir I will I know you will
you can't capture emotion like this have
you all gone insane my my boyfriend is
in love with my sister my boyfriend
voice is essentially you can't have
turkey without yak I love yams you steal
my boyfriend then you go to get yams I'm
sorry Ashley
but no one can predict the course of
true love I feel your pain I really do
regular and candy you want to feel my
pain put the vegetables down
[Music]
the network television premiere val
kilmer carrie-anne moss and tom sizemore
they have no way to survive
Red Planet
Saturday at 9:00 on Syfy well customer
satisfaction is at an all-time high and
I think we know who's responsible for
that
and no I'm not talking about myself
although my wife would beg to differ
Geico 15 minutes could save you 15% or
more on car insurance sometimes why do
people love Geico
[Music]
when I have to close my
because 15 minutes could save you 15% or
more on car insurance every day the
South wakes up to billions of allergens
from cats and dogs to ragweed and dust
that's why there's clarinets
psyonix provides receptor protection to
help block Istomin get 24-hour
non-drowsy allergy relief anywhere
anytime
side effects are similar to sugar pill
including sore throat dry mouth and
fatigue
geez where ever talk to your doctor
about climates in the world of computer
confusion three young interns will soon
learn there's one place with all the
answers a place where you can get a PC
and they just for you at a price that's
right for you
a place where computer confusion has met
its match thanks for calling Dell what
can I build for you today right ready
Dell presents the interns so what do you
think of my movie well that's one way to
make an intern training video no you can
get a dimension desktop with an Intel
Pentium 4 processor for just $5.99 after
mail-in rebate and right now for a
limited time you'll get free shipping
visit our website for even more great
offers and check out our notebooks -
you're not just getting a great deal
you're getting a Dell daran about my
close ups there could be more way too
easy easy easy as Dell Dell pcs use
Intel Pentium 4 processors
[Music]
finally sausage and bacon the tastes
skillet fresh in seconds fresh taste
fast sausage and new fresh taste fast
vacant by Jimmy Dean precooked great
taste
guaranteed Jimmy Dean breakfast never
sounded so good these are America's mean
streets where the truth is heard and now
there's a new rapper in town a plain
white rapper yo Jamie Kenny Taye Diggs
Anthony Anderson Regina Hall and Snoop
Dogg do a little that little white rat
ain't got nothin on me pound it Malibu's
most one ready pg-13 ugh damn starts
April 18th
[Music]
dish on demand pay-per-view now offers
more movie channels than ever before
more channels mean the exciting new
movies you want to see are on more often
throughout the day tuned to channels 502
through 538 and your on-screen guide and
check out the great new movies on TV for
the first time you can order with your
remote control or call one eight seven
seven dish PPV so check out the new
channels and order a dish on demand
pay-per-view movie today
need cash fast just pick up the phone
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you need up to five hundred dollars
before your next paycheck we can help
all now call national money service now
[Music]
David answers your questions on
Battlestar Gallactica this week at
scifi.com
[Music]
robots you gave me a family of robots
so dinner went well no why would you
grab my fantasy this way what were you
thinking no what were you thinking miss
gable me instead of dealing with
adversity you chose to ask for
impossible perfection I just I just
wanted them to behave and how do you
think I was going to guarantee that I
mean you of all people should know that
conflict is part of human nature the
only way that I could give you the
perfect family was to take humanity out
of the equation he ruined my
relationship with Joe he fell in love
with my robot sister how am I supposed
to get him back I think the more
important question is why would you want
him
[Music]
if he catches us he'll he does vote
don't worry he can't hurt us once we're
out of Scots doctor butter his own toast
from now on just around not too much not
too little he's fussy about toes too
I'll never have to hear him correct me
again
you know the funny thing it probably
thinks our marriage is fine doesn't even
real nice what a monster he's become
[Music]
Hey what well go ahead man
what are you waiting for what what swing
it right through the neck it's my
destiny what are you talking for face it
man
we're both turkeys turkeys ain't
supposed to talk there's no free will
baby existentialism is passe swing the
axe go ahead
Oh God come on do it
what was he know about destiny
I'm ready to conceal wish number three
master
look who's back
boss straighten out your wish is my
command you gotta admire that rock but
he says goes can have it all does it all
yes it is an awesome power one not
everyone can handle I could be could
you underestimate me Tut's they're
talking to Freddie Knox here yes I know
master so what would you like next
something in the realm of Motor Vehicles
maybe private jet do you think I'm adult
how about what world has that's very
ambitious master maybe your next set of
wishes no that's what I want tell me
exactly I want the power to make dreams
reality
to make wishes come true as you wish
[Music]
I can't even remember the last time he
said that whoa well maybe you forgot now
you takin inside he was gonna eat your
knuckles for breakfast well Catherine
you could try and make him understand
how you feel you want to run out on me
again
no no Catherine's now no I wouldn't be
leaving you if you stayed with him
[Music]
I am him
she's me
listen
I didn't talk to my wife for two years
before she left
[Music]
he's the part of me that I have to
change and he can change he can change
to somewhere beneath that ogre is the
man you fell in love with let him prove
it to you let him prove to you that he's
still that man and in that show his
princess
[Music]
Peter say come back again soon they came
I
[Music]
so do you think they'll make it I mean
will they live happily ever after
I suppose with a bit of hard work
anything's possible
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
what is that
Kristin's hand
something to remember her by Joe
[Music]
Christian was a robot
a machine
you saw her I popped out yeah broke my
heart she was everything I wanted and we
got along so well
we never argue she wasn't real she was
better than real she was perfect
[Music]
and I'm not
[Music]
goodbye Joe
[Music]
you gotta hand it to him they make a
fine couple
I thought it was the one they divide
your perfect family perhaps you'll feel
better after a real Thanksgiving I could
use some pumpkin pie
I think there's one piece left I have a
better idea no teacher is different dad
quit looking away from the camera so
where's the gravy my migraine came back
I didn't have time to make the gravy
well you know why don't we just go steal
some gravy for the Native Americans no
well in appropriate way to celebrate oh
hi honey let me get you there it's
really good to see all of you Happy
Thanksgiving
all right dad I went to Turkey on my the
Turkey's hunt fire again dad
tradition okay you got your chestnut
stuffing you think pertaining to
cranberries in your bread hey where's
the turkey now your chestnut stuffing
your potatoes your cranberries and your
bread so tell me how what exactly do we
have to be thankful for I'm thinking
what is this place it's just the worst
nightmare I've ever had q25 hurt you a
sidelight answers original Thursday at
9:00 on Syfy tired of playing the
mortgage rate game you know when you
hear one of those ads that promise you
the moon and you call up only to find
out that the points are too high and
there are hidden fees attached well at
die ted.com there are no games just low
fixed rates with no middleman or broker
fees you can be pre-qualified online or
over the telephone
there's no advance fees prior to closing
and no cancellation fees do it now
before the rates go up detect calm call
one eight hundred seventy-one fixed air
should smell fresh and clean but inside
germs get just tough odors in the air
that's why the makers of lisen will
created nuture air and air treatment
that helps eliminate odors in the air
caused by germs neutral air
[Music]
it just makes dropping stuff more fun
the new heir to the Humber way school
play school in the world of computer
confusion three young interns will soon
learn there's one place with all the
answers a place where you can get a PC
that made just for you at a price that's
right for you
a place where computer confusion has met
its match thanks for calling del what
can I build for you today
get ready Dell presents the interns so
what do you think of my movie well
that's one way to make an intern
training video no you can get a
dimension desktop with an Intel Pentium
4 processor for just $5.99 after mail-in
rebate and right now for a limited time
you'll get free shipping visit our
website for even more great offers and
check out our notebooks - you're not
just getting a great deal you're getting
a Dell daring about my close ups there
could be more way too easy for
easy easy as Dell Dell pcs use Intel
Pentium 4 processors tremors the series
Burt Gummer 'he's got more than words
he's got competitions like game tremors
the series all new every Friday at 9:00
with encores every Wednesday at 8:00
only on Syfy well it looks like they
enjoyed the holiday
I didn't notice mr. Knox get back on the
plane I trusted his fantasy turned out
to his satisfaction exactly okay it's
authorized the ship will be blown
off-course and landed the Canary Islands
they like that place and decide to
settle there the Mayflower will never
make Plymouth Rock have a nice holiday
[Music]
encounter the extreme every weekday
the x-files next on sci-fi x-files
Nicholas Lee profilers Jaime lunar
threshold the sci-fi pictures original
Saturday April 19th on Syfy
[Music]