We the poor working people
Getting ulcers, running around
Chicken feed is our reward
Rough deal is what we get
The boss is ever ready to explode
His barks are long, his face longer
When we ask for a raise
Brother, you're in for a treat
Working like a dog
Things keep on going wrong
Why don't we grab a gun and hold 'em up?
At least making our effort worthwhile
it's tit for tat,
tat for tit
We the poor working people
Slaves to money for life
Our misery, it's unspeakable
But we don't take it for granted
Happiness is not ours to share
Sufferings are our to bear
A little more is a little more. We care
At least making our effort worthwhile
it's tit for tat,
tat for tit
We the poor working people
Slaves to money for life
Our misery, it's unspeakable
But we don't take it for granted
You fool! Want to kill yourself?
Great! Great!
How much are the gas lamps?
Eighty odd dollars
What do you want it for?
You are fired from tomorrow onwards
Get a lamp and go sell your martial arts in the streets
Guaranteed to satisfy
For sure it's sweet; try it
It's rotten already
Sir, any favorite chicks?
Just looking
Seen a guy with a moustache?
Yeah, inside, having fun
Want one yourself?
No thanks, I don't play such games
You've taken some dope again?
How much do you charge?
You never take off your glasses?
Without them, I can't see clearly in my dream
In my dream
Come out! Dreamy eyes!
What is your name?
Sze Ma Keh
Your real name?
Chu Mu
Telephone number?
250136
Say, what's that's for?
Nothing, we just have to call your wife
That's worse than going to jail
Next... what's your name?
Wong Yeuk See
Telephone number?
Private detective
Sir, I used to be...
a cop at Cheung Chau
Oh yeah?
Inspector Chen is my relative Give me a break please
Oh! One-eyed Chen!
How are you related to him?
He's related to...
my aunt's brother's mistress Give me a break please
So that makes you a bastard
Oh, yes. Give me a break, please
Your telephone number?
No telephone
Where do you live?
6, Tin Kwong Road
Give him a break
Bring his wife here
Thanks. Do you go to jail for cussing?
Next!
Don't move!
What's the matter?
Shut up and go inside
Another guest coming
Don't move, take off your pants, quick
Take the money,
but not the pants
No? Want to die? Now quick
Too embarrassing! I won't do it
Hung, add some pepper for me
Have you ever seen yourself bald?
Oh please, I'll take it off
Boss, another guest
Take out your wallet, watch, and ring
Give me...
a break
Want a break?
All right, here
Boss, pepper has been added already
Mix up the clothes, get ready to split
Wait a second
Wait for the next car
You own this car?
I'm getting off
You're O.K., boy!
Just a beginner
He can't even take care of a kid
Serve him,
right
Just talk, no violence
We can't afford to make a scene
You should know men's temperaments
They can get...
tired of eating too much filet mignon
and want some hamburgers for a change
I will sue him
till he is broke
Then he can eat hamburgers for the rest of his life
"Yale" key, 15B
I left it in the office
Kick it down
You prefer hamburger to filet?
Mr Wong,
you'll be my witness in court
Sure! I even know the judge
I even shook hands with the former governor
Mrs Chu, if it's convenient
What? These few pictures cost $2,000?
These will...
earn you millions in alimony
Isn't that cheap?
I'll send you a cheque next week
Thank you, Mrs Chu
Mrs Chu, leaving now?
Puffy!
Get my tele-photo
Tele-photo!
Is boss in? I am here for a job
Who are you?
From the factory to see the boss
From the factory? Welcome, have a seat
This office is too small...
to display all my credentials
Initial consultation fee is $200 per hour
Deductible if we have a deal
What is the problem?
I read from the newspaper
There are lots of private detective in H. K...
Somehow,
I get publicized most
I even shook hands with the former governor
I saw your picture...
in yesterday's newspaper!
Oh yeah? What newspaper?
Sing Tao
Jacky, get yesterday's Sing Tao for me
You were in a club, with hand-cuffs on too
Boss, what do you want it for?
Burn it
Have one. What can I do for you?
I saw your ad,
I am applying for...
Go to 10th floor,
there's an acting school
Boss, I don't want to be a star
I want to be a detective
It's such a waste
With a cigar,
you'd look like Columbo
Boss, give me a chance
You know how to take pictures?
It's easy to learn
That means no Driver's licence?
Five hours of driver's training
That means no again. What do you know?
At times I practice kung fu
You know kung fu? Show me
Not bad! Let's see it again
Sure!
Better go to 11th floor
Charlie the magician might use you
You, with a big head and short neck
and with this on, look just like a turtle
Jakcy, is it your birthday today?
Thank you, boss
One is enough
Boss, give me a chance
That wasn't magic, it's real kung fu
This job is not...
as easy as it seems
24 hours a day,
we keep track of people
Get burnt when it's sunny and drenched when it rains
Hold on, give me back my wallet
What wallet?
Don't play games,
or I'll beat you up
Come back!
You're alright
$500 per month, including room and board
Each meal not to exceed $2. Take it?
Only $2 for a meal?
This is good for you
Too much rice will cause hemorrhoids
What are you saying?
Name a person with hemorrhoids who doesn't eat rice
Year-end bonus if we make enough profit
Do you usually make enough profit?
We've been in the red for eight years
I'll try it for a while
See if you've lost any money
Is this your mom or your wife?
I'll be damned!
What does this mean?
What do you think?
That mean we have stolen someone's wallet
That mean "YOU" have stolen someone's wallet
Where are they?
In front, that's them
You know the world record for 100 meters?
About 9.9 seconds
See if we can make it in 9.8 seconds
Go after them
You think they'll hit us?
They are no marksmen
We're in a jam. Stall them!
Damn! Scapegoat again
Open the door, open up
Aren't there two people in here?
Yes
Where?
Just the two of us
Don't be a smart-ass! I saw them coming in
Watch him
Sergeant, there's nobody
No?
No!
Sergeant, no one
How come?
That looks like him,
except he's got bucked-teeth
Do we have colleague with a bucked-teeth?
No!
Sir, I think you'd have to push
What should we do now?
This profession involves trouble anytime
It's good thing we have this,
or else
Son of a gun
What did you say?
I was swearing
Break it down
1, 2, 3
Take me to the kitchen and show me what happened
What shall we do now?
What else? Climb back up later
Damn Puffy, can't even buy a decent ladder
He attacked me with...
those sausages,
ended up hitting himself with the work
Start the car
Anything else?
No!
What's he doing?
Deducting my salary again
Start the car
Boss, got a case for me?
You're not qualified to handle case yet
Come with me to check on the bank case
This guy bought...
a TV and refrigerator by installment
He stop paytment after one month
and changed his address
We'll wait for him to get off work today
Learn how to use this camera
See, a reflection lens inside
So you're actually taking pictures on the side
Then no one would know you're taking his pictures
Let me practice
What do you see?
A pretty chick is walking over
Practice when you are in the office
How come it shrunk 6 inches?
That's a cheap suit
What do you expect?
He'll notice us if we get any closer
But we won't know which entrance
Count the steps,
11, 12, 13, 14
15, 16, 17, 18
19, 20, 21
But there are doors on both sides
Didn't you hear the iron gate just then?
That's smart thinking
You need this to be in this business,
not magic?
Go and fetch Puffy to help us
Give me the mike
Pin it here
Why put it on?
I'll check the TV
and refrigerator serial number
If they correspond, he'll have to pay
Otherwise, I'll give a signal,
you two can come and haul them out
Puffy, give me a certificate
This is the caretaker's,
I am not selling coffins
Let me
Get the two-way phone ready
Testing! Can you hear me?
Yes, I hear you, over
I'm going in, over
Boss,
what's today's signal, over
"Buddha be praised", over
TV repairman,
your TV has a lot of snowflake
Yeah, I'm freezing to death. Come in!
Help yourself
We don't have any TV here
Master,
help me get rid of him
Stick around, watch me handle him
What are you doing here?
TV repair
Certificate?
You bitch! Why did you take so long to send a repairman?
You're crazy! You've got the wrong number
Who are you?
Don't touch me
Don't you dare... don't you dare
I warn you,
I am serious
You try again... my last warning
Alright, I'm leaving
You want to fight?
I'll let my 2nd brother handle you
Junior!
Hit the one with glasses
He doesn't have them on now
"Buddha be praised"
Even buddha won't help you now
Let big brother have some fun,
it's his birthday
King Kong!
Where're you from?
Mongkok, Kowloon, "Buddha be praised"
What did you say?
Buddha,
"Buddha be praised"
What's wrong with your neck?
I got whacked in the last case
Really?
That's mild
Sometimes,
you can really get hurt
You mean like him?
Mr Chen, look what's this?
My elbow's got rheumatism
Have a seat
Someone's been cutting up...
the theatre's seats lately?
Worse, look at this, a letter too
Just to prove
he's not joking
If I don't pay,
he'll set one off
$300,000
Yeah!
I think we had better inform the police
We can't,
we'd lose our audience
So you don't want to pay him. Puffy!
No!
There's no end...
paying them
Check if this is real
How?
Told you before, 1 red wire, the other blue
Connect them, if it's fake, no problem
It it's real, you'll be 23 tomorrow
I am just 20
Chinese people usually add 3 years to their age when they die
You need not worry
I've come upon something similar,
then...
What are you doing?
Didn't you ask me...
to connect 2 wires?
But if it's real, you'll blow us up
Where then?
Go to the bathroom
Mr Chen, don't worry
This happened before,
though not in a theatre
Boss, if that's real,
I'll get blown up
Can't you count,
only one in there
But three out here
I guess you're right
Mr Chen, don't worry
They only want to...
scare you
With my experience, I can tell
That is real stuff
What happened? Still alive?
How come you are here?
I don't know,
I connected 2 wires
It didn't explode, so I walked out
Now you are using your brains
Go with Mr Chen
and see if you find anything suspicious
Miss, is the boss here?
Mrs Mok, have a seat
Boss, Mrs Mok is here
Which one?
The chatterbox?
The ugly duck who tries to look young?
Yes, no,
the boss lady of Da Wah Supermarket
Okay, I'll be there
Boss is coming
Mrs Mok, you look younger
Just look at you...
Like an ugly duck
No, just like a tender chicken
Every man will fall on love with you
How come? You become a black pig
It scornched by the stock market
What can I do for you?
Oh
Shoplifters in my supermarket
I am losing more than $1,000 daily
I want you to catch them
Go check the other side
What are you doing?
Look!
Why don't we arrest them now?
We can't prove anything
They can claim,
they'll pay at the door
What?
These 2 rolls cost $128?
Including those in your stomach
I don't have any money
It's fine
You get free meals in jail
Boss lady, I think...
Stop, stay right here
How do you feel?
Use your "Five Animals" kung fu
Dragon style
Snake style
Tiger style
Leopard style
Crane style
You're even better than your boss
I should just call you...
next time
You need skill...
to prepare cream chicken
Pluck the feathers, using lukewarm water
Around 80 degrees will do
Hot water affects...
the skin texture
The meat will also become tough
Put the chicken on the chopping block
For sauce, half a bowl of coconut milk
Some lard, green pepper,
bay leaf and green onions
Ginger, and 2 bottles of milk
I shall repeat
Coconut milk, lard...
It's 8 already, get up
Boss, such bunk beds!
They're worse than those on the Macau ferry
What do you...
expect for $100?
Why don't you get rid of it
No way, I need this in case...
I hire another helper
Anyway, it's worse than a coffin
Sure, a coffin costs more than $1,000
All you know is how to loaf
Let's do some waist exercises
1234, 2234,
3234, 4234
Let's place our hands on the stomachs
Massage, it can slim down fat
Get ready, 1234, 2234
Left 234, Right 234,
spread the legs
Move the head in circular motion
This will help loosen the neck
Ready, 1234, 2234
Change side,
1234, 2234
A deep breath,
then lie on the floor
Hands straight,
sit up with the waist
Ready, bend waist, exhale, lie back
Bend waist, exhale, lie back
Now we do leg exercises
Isn't that good?
I don't know what I look like with this on
As you said, a small turtle
Only you look like a small turtle with your short neck and small head
I have a long neck
and a big head
Then you look an ostrich
What? You...
Boss, Mr Chow sent us...
his wife's pictures
His wife is going to the salon today
He suspects she is having an affair
So he employs us to follow her
You two go together
Boss, I want to go to the doctor's
What for?
I think I got the flu
Have you ever heard of people dying from flu?
If it's swine flu. Certainly!
Listen! If you got flu, you'll be O.K.
If you got swine flu,
you'll die anyway
Either way...
you'd waste money by going to the doctor
You are right
Yeah
Well,
you'd better see a doctor anyway
Or else you'll think I am too mean
Learn to use this
Just press the black button
Let me try
Boss, can you hear me? Over
Boss, can't you hear? Over
How? With no antenna?
All women fool around?
Any young wife married to...
an old man
She is a nun if she doesn't fool around
Why does the husband want to find out? It's just more headache
To save on...
alimony later
Rich people are pity shrewd
Or they won't be rich people
Her husband should not get uptight
The wife's having an affair
Is like...
playing a game of mahjong
Boss,
I haven't seen your wife yet
Has she gone back to her mon's?
To play mahjong with someone?
Damn, don't you know how to drive?
Stopping the car in the middle of the road?
You'll flunk all road tests...
for sure!
Use the bus for the rest of your life
She just sent the driver away Might sneak out any time
I'll guard at the rear door Call me if anything happens
Boss, can you hear me? Over
Damn! Don't you know how to drive?
What's up?
They're over there
They've gone inside
Together?
All right, let's rent a room also
What's this?
Tell me it's not true
You can't die before you are 80
Why?
Because you won't be able to pay me back
The designs in our rooms are many and varied
This is "Modern Times"
"Through The Looking Glass"
This "Enjoy Yourself Tonight" suite is taken
Please come over here
Taken by a man with a moustache?
No, he is in room B3
Let me recommend...
the room with water bed
The sensation is like floating on water
Why not enjoy yourself
I know you guys like special pleasure
How do you know?
Both of you are not women
Isn't that special? This way please
You can pay when you leave
Really comfortable? Huh?
Never tried this before
Quit thinking of pleasure, you kid
You know what they say about...
the wheel of fortune
That's terrific! My fortune's been bad for the past 20 years
If it turns, I can live it up the next 20 years
I feel...
this world owes me a lot
You didn't even bring a diaper,
when you were born!
What does this world owe you?
Let's start working
What are they doing?
Playing mahjong
Which round now?
End of the last round
Looks like they'll have another round
Let's have a drink first
Great!
You think your old man would notice us?
Yes, if we were stocks and shares
Cheers
You always carry your gun, any good?
I am...
the best shooter on the force
And the fastest?
You are being neaty
I don't understand,
why that old man...
What's this?
Submarine
Submarine?
What's that noise?
Don't be suspicious; let's take a bath
O.K.
Change the bath water
Good
5
15
10
5
Got it!
I lost again
You lost again
Let's do it again
Who are you?
I am the plumber
How come you are here then?
Because the plumbing is here
Don't run away
Get up!
What have you done? Been swimming
You too!
How did this come about?
Water bed gives you...
the floating sensation!
That why it's worth...
What happened?
Just sleeping on water bed
It's so horrifying!
You'd be lucky if you don't drowned
Mr Chen
Go steal a car
Give out tickets to our men
How come you like raw carrots?
What else can I eat for $2 per meal?
Don't get jumpy?
You know too much carrots can make you...
As long as you know
Hey, watch where you're going
Mr Chen, that's him
I'll make a phone call
Jacky, what's the matter?
I'll come right away
Don't move, stop the projector, turn on the lights
This is not the ticket office
Don't talk, quick
What happened?
Live show on stage!
This is not a blackout
Neither is it live show; it's a robbery!
I want cooperation, please don't panic
Then nothing will happen to you
Don't move or you'll got hurt
Everybody stand up...
with your hands up
Please notice...
the guns are real
No need to risk your lives
Be fast, put them in
It is important to be honest
Put everything...
you own into the bags
I'll search a few to make sure
If I find out there're something...
Again the same lousy congee
Right!
Get 2 bowls to the back alley
O.K.
Why do you like the congee here?
Miss, hurry up!
Better give us the money
Don't pretend to be a fool
Don't bother to count. All of it
Don't play games
Tired of living?
Take off the jade bracelet
It won't come out
Then chop off your hand
Oh, no, I'll take it off
They rob, would they rape too?
You wish
I'll search another person now
You'll be in trouble if you hide something
The one standing next to the priest
The lady next to him
It can be rape
That one looks cheeky
Come forward too. Quick!
Nothing; very cooperative
Applause please
Thank you for your cooperation. Go now
Come over here
What's this?
It's a rubber band
Have you ever played Russian Roulette?
No
Well, I'll show you
Spread out, your legs
How many cylinders are there?
Six
Look, here are 3 bullets
I'll mix them up;
you won't know which is where
Your left or right foot? Speak up
I want them both
I'll choose for you, right foot
I need it to play right wing in soccer
Your may switch to left wing position
Leave us alone,
I'll let him go if he wins
I told you'd to play left wing
Just go on enjoying the movie
Don't look at us within 5 minutes
that'll be the last thing
you'll see
Let's go
Damn baldy!
Of all cars he stole an ice-cream truck
Maybe he likes good air-conditioning
Any question?
No
Welcome, everybody
Mr and Mrs Chow will...
present the award
Mr Lee,
our brave citizen
Mr Lee, you look very familiar
I used to be a plumber
Oh?
Mr Lee, a speech?
I just hope all our citizens will...
cooperate with the police
Remember, the police are your friends
they are your close friends
Together we take a gaint step forward
Why is there so much deceit?
Why is happiness not shared?
Why is the dripping water the only consistent thing?
Shortsighted are the social climbers
Gloating with self-importance!
Little do they know the castle's made of sand
It's all ordained. What's yours is yours
What's not, is not
Ever seen those two...
after they quit?
They haven't visited you...
for some time
Jacky, do you think I am mean
No
When was...
your last raise?
I don't think you ever gave me one
We have to advertise for two new assistants
No! Kids nowadays are too smart
They'd for a month or 2,
then quit
Better think of another way
How? You can't even walk
Why not?
Hold this, look, how's this?
Tell me it's not true
Consultation fee is $200 per hour
It's deductible if we got a deal
Have a piece of candy
In our prefession, connections are important
I shook hands with the former police commissioner
Please start from the beginning
He never did need...
a secretary
Then,
he hired one
Then I get suspicious
Excuse me
Boss well, have a piece of candy
Starting your business with...
this small space?
Why not?
With a couple of fake credentials, no one can tell
In a short while, business will pick up
Business has been slow already
Now with you next door
We will just starve together
It's still better than just the two of us starving
Let's cooperate, and talk about the terms
Why should I? I know all you know
But you don't know what I know
Boss!
Is it a 50 0 deal?
But at least 2 days off every week
Why so many days off?
So I can play mahjong with Jacky!
We the poor working people
Getting ulcers, running around
Chicken feed is our reward
Rough deal is what we get
The boss is ever ready to explode
His barks are long, his face longer
When we ask for a raise
Brother, you're in for a treat
Working like a dog
Things keep on going wrong
Why don't we grab a gun and hold 'em up?
At least making our effort worthwhile
it's tit for tat,
tat for tit
We the poor working people
Slaves to money for life
Our misery, it's unspeakable
But we don't take it for granted
Happiness is not ours to share
Sufferings are our to bear
A little more is a little more. We care
At least making our effort worthwhile
it's tit for tat,
tat for tit
We the poor working people
Slaves to money for life
Our misery, it's unspeakable
But we don't take it for granted