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[ Birds Twittering ]
[ Clock Ticking ] [ Garbled Radio Transmission ]
[ Man On Radio ] GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING! WAKE UP AND PLUG IN.
THIS FIRST ONE'S GOING OUT TO OUR CHROME-PLATED CRONY WITH A BIG HEART FULL OF CRUMBS.
HIT IT, BOYS. AH-ONE AND AH-TWO.
♪♪ [ Music Begins ]
[ Snapping "Fingers" ]
[ On Radio ] ♪ HE LIKES BREAD AND BUTTER ♪
♪ HE LIKES TOAST AND JAM ♪
♪ THAT'S WHAT BABY FEEDS HIM ♪ YEAH! [ Laughs ]
♪ HE'S A LOVIN' MAN ♪ I LOVE THIS SONG!
♪♪ [ Music Continues ] WELL, COME OVER HERE, TWIST MY DIAL AND PUMP UP THE VOLUME!
♪ THAT'S WHAT BABY FEEDS ME I'M HER LOVIN' MAN ♪ WHEE!
[ Snapping ] ♪ HE LIKES BREAD AND BUTTER ♪
GUYS. GUYS! ♪♪ [ Stops ]
YOU KNOW, THERE HAVE BEEN SOME GOOD SONGS WRITTEN IN THE LAST 20 YEARS.
- HOW 'BOUT SOME RAP? - THEY DON'T CALL THEM "GOLDEN OLDIES" FOR NOTHIN'.
[ Vacuum ] HIT IT, RADIO! [ On Radio ] ♪ NO MORE BREAD AND BUTTER ♪
- ♪ NO MORE TOAST AND JAM ♪ - [ Appliances Laughing ]
♪ NO MORE BREAD AND BUTTER NO MORE TOAST AND JAM ♪
♪ NO, NO, NO, NO ♪ ♪ NO MORE BREAD AND BUTTER NO MORE TOAST AND JAM ♪
[ Singing Off-Key ] ♪ I LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER ♪ ♪♪ [ Music Stops ]
[ Radio ] OH, IT'S THE LITTLE PEST FROM THE JUNK DRAWER.
♪ I LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER WAH-WAH-DOO-DAH DAY ♪
♪ A SCOTTY WOTTY DOO-DAH DAY, YEAH ♪
PREPARE A EULOGY. THAT SONG HAS JUST BEEN MURDERED.
[ Clicks Off ]
IT SIMPLY ISN'T FROM MY DAY. THAT'S ALL.
HMM. WHY, BACK IN THE OLD COUNTRY--
HERE HE GOES WITH THE BLUE DANUBE AND THE WIENER SCHNITZEL AGAIN.
TIME FOR A YAWN.
WHERE'D HE COME FROM, ANYWAY? HE WAS IN THE JUNK DRAWER WHEN WE MOVED IN, REMEMBER?
A FORMER OWNER OF THE HOUSE MUST HAVE LEFT HIM THERE.
THAT'S RIGHT. HE'S BEEN HERE LONGER THAN I HAVE.
[ Squeaking ]
I-I COULD USE SOME HELP HERE. SURE, MOM.
[ Grunting, Straining ]
THERE.
THANKS, SQUIRT. THAT'S BETTER.
AH, YOU WERE SAYING THAT HEARING AID HAS BEEN HERE A LONG TIME?
YEAH. HE USED TO BELONG TO SOME SMARTY-PANTS GUY.
WITH FUNNY HAIR AND GLASSES.
I THINK HE GOT A NEW-MODEL HEARING AID JUST BEFORE HE MOVED AWAY.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
[ Gasps ] NOTHING. JUST SPOUTING OFF. [ Giggles ]
THE MISTRESS AND THE MASTER MUST LIKE HIM.
OF COURSE, THEY'RE LIKING ME. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY KEEP CHANGING MY BATTERY?
I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY THEY DIDN'T TOSS HIM IN THE OL' TRASHEROO WHEN THEY MOVED IN.
YOU KNOW THE MASTER. HE NEVER THROWS ANYTHING AWAY.
[ All ] THANK GOODNESS!
BUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT HE'S GOOD FOR.
- YEAH. NONE OF US NEEDS A HEARING AID. - WHAT DID YOU SAY?
[ Yelling ] I SAID, "NONE OF US NEEDS A HEARING AID"!
AS THEY SAY IN THE OLD COUNTRY, A HINT I CAN TAKE.
GUESS I'LL GO BACK FOR A SNOOZE TOO. SEE YA NEXT APRIL.
HOW COME THE MASTER ONLY TAKES YOU OUT EVERY APRIL 14th?
TAX TIME! I LIVE FOR IT!
[ Sighs ]
BLANKY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
[ Blanky ] WHEN ARE THE MASTER AND MISTRESS COMING HOME?
I MISS THEM.
MISS THEM? [ Laughs ] YOU GUYS ARE NOT TO BE BELIEVED.
ANOTHER COUNTRY HEARD FROM.
THEY'RE JUST HUMANS! NO CIRCUITS TO SPEAK OF.
THEY'LL COME AND THEY'LL GO, BUT I'LL STILL BE HERE. I'M THE FUTURE!
OH, YEAH? WELL, LISTEN, YOU--
YOU RADIOACTIVE THING, YOU.
YOU CAN JUST AS EASILY GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM.
WHO SAYS? [ All ] WE SAYS!
- WHAT GOOD ARE YOU, ANYWAY? - YEAH. I'VE BEEN ASKIN' MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION.
[ Crashes ] WELL, YOU'LL SOON SEE, MY OBSOLETE ONES.
THERE'S SOME CHANGES ABOUT TO BE MADE AROUND HERE, AND THEY DON'T INVOLVE YOU.
CHANGES? I DON'T LIKE CHANGES.
IT'S NOTHING WE CAN'T HANDLE, BLANKY.
YEAH. WE'RE THE MUSKETEERS, REMEMBER? ALL FOR ONE AND--
ONE FOR ALL. [ All ] WE DON'T MEAN YOU!
WE COULD SNEAK UP ON HIM TONIGHT AND SHOVE HIM BACK INTO HIS BOX.
- I HEARD THAT! - [ Car Engine Revving ] - AND I HEAR SOMETHING ELSE.
- SOUNDS LIKE-- - [ All ] THE MASTER'S CAR!
IS IT HIM? I'D RECOGNIZE THOSE BADLY OUT-OF-TUNE CYLINDERS ANYWHERE.
[ Tires Screeching ]
[ Camera Clicks ]
[ Blanky ] HE'S SURE BEEN GONE A LONG TIME. WELL, JUST OVERNIGHT.
WHY, WHEN YOU'VE TRAVELED THE LONG, DUSTY THROW RUG OF LIFE LIKE I HAVE,
THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE MUCH.
WHERE'S HE BEEN? I DON'T KNOW.
[ Toaster ] THE MISTRESS LOOKS A LITTLE TIRED. [ Radio ] BUT HAPPY!
ONE MIGHT SAY... GLOWING!
I CAN'T SEE. I CAN'T SEE!
- [ Blanky ] WHAT'S THAT SHE'S HOLDING? - IT'S ALL COVERED UP.
[ Radio ] IT LOOKS SORT OF CHUBBY AND PINK.
I KNOW! SHE'S BRINGING HOME A SAUSAGE!
[ Radio ] WOW! THAT'S ONE HUNGRY SAUSAGE.
THAT'S NOT A SAUSAGE, SILLY. IT'S A--
[ Gasps ] IT'S A NEW MASTERLING!
[ Cooing, Gurgling ] [ Appliances ] IT'S A BABY!
WHAT FACTORY DID HE COME FROM?
BABIES DON'T COME FROM FACTORIES, DUMMY!
WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?
UH, WELL, UH, HMM--
WELL, WHEREVER IT CAME FROM, I'M SURE THAT HE-- OR SHE--
OR IT-- WILL BE VERY NICE.
- WILL HE OR SHE LIKE US? - WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE.
[ Giggles ] [ Camera Clicks ]
[ Sniffling ]
WE'VE BEEN SO HAPPY HERE UNTIL NOW.
YEAH. EVEN THE MASTER'S--
- GIRLFRIEND? - DOMESTIC PARTNER? - WIFE.
YEAH. EVEN SHE LIKES US.
AND EVEN BETTER, USES US!
AND I LIKE BEING USED!
I WISH THEY'D TAKE WHATEVER THEY'RE BRINGING BACK TO WHERE IT CAME FROM.
THAT COULD HAPPEN, COULDN'T IT?
[ All ] I DON'T THINK SO.
- HOW'S HE DOING? - SLEEPING LIKE A BABY.
ONE SECOND.
MADE IT MYSELF.
OH, ROB. IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
AND FUNCTIONAL.
WHEN DID I LAST TELL YOU I LOVE YOU?
ABOUT 30 SECONDS AGO IN THE DRIVEWAY.
THEN YOU'RE OVERDUE. I LOVE YOU.
AND I LOVE YOU BACK.
[ Gurgles ]
THERE, THERE, ROBBIE. YOU HUNGRY?
[ Crying ]
[ Chuckling ] QUITE A SET OF PIPES ON THAT ONE.
[ Crying Continues ] YEAH. HE SOUNDS JUST LIKE--
THE MASTER! HE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE MASTER DID WHEN HE WAS LITTLE.
ATTENTION, SHOPPERS!
BLANKET PULLS OUT OF MANIC-DEPRESSIVE DOWNSLIDE!
ROB? POP A BOTTLE IN THE MICROWAVE, WILL YA? [ Laughs ]
HEAR THAT, FELLAS? IN THE HOUSE TEN SECONDS AND WHO DOES SHE NEED?
SOME OLD WINDBAG? A DIM BULB BY WHICH TO READ DR. SPOCK?
A PIECE OF SINGED WHITE BREAD?
PLEASE! A BLAST FROM THE PAST? [ Crying Continues ]
A QUICK CUDDLE? NO, SIRREE.
SHE DOESN'T NEED ANY OF YOU. WHAT SHE NEEDS IS A HOT ONE.
AND NO WAITING.
[ Gasps ] ♪♪ [ Rob Humming ]
[ Crying Continues ] ♪♪ [ Humming ]
[ Crying Continues ] [ Microwave Hums, Beeps ]
♪♪ [ Humming Continues ]
WOW! YOU'RE FAST!
HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN ME DO A BAKED POTATO.
[ Slurping ]
♪♪ [ Piano ]
♪♪
♪ BABY, HOW THE HOURS FLY ♪
♪ AND, BABY HOW THE DAYS GO BY ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU DON'T NOTICE ♪
♪ BUT I SEE A NEW YOU ♪
♪ I SEE A NEW YOU ♪
♪ THOUGH I LOVED YOU FROM DAY ONE ♪
♪ NO, I LOVED YOU EVEN BEFORE ♪
♪ SINCE THEN EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE ♪
♪ HAS MADE ME LOVE YOU EVEN MORE ♪
[ Cooing ] ♪ HOW YOU LIFT YOUR HAND HOW YOU BEND YOUR KNEE ♪
♪ HOW YOU SIMPLY STAND HOW YOU REACH FOR ME ♪
♪ OH, IF YOU COULD SEE ♪
♪ BABY, HOW THE HOURS FLY ♪
[ Gurgling ] ♪ AND, BABY HOW THE DAYS GO BY ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU DON'T NOTICE ♪
♪ BUT I SEE A NEW YOU ♪
♪ I SEE A NEW YOU ♪
♪ EVERY DAY I DO ♪
[ Giggling ] ♪ I SEE A NEW YOU ♪
♪ BABY ♪
♪ DOESN'T SEEM YOU NEED SO MUCH ♪
♪ SEEMS LIKE LOVE'S WHAT HELPS YOU ALONG ♪
♪ A FEW SMILES AND HUGS AND SUCH ♪
♪ AND THEN A HAND TO HOLD ON STRONG ♪
[ Giggling ] ♪ HOW YOU TILT YOUR FACE HOW YOU TWITCH YOUR TOE ♪
♪ MAKES MY HEARTBEAT RACE FOR YOU TOUCH ME SO ♪
♪ SOMEDAY YOU WILL KNOW ♪
♪ BABY, HOW THE HOURS FLY ♪
♪ AND, BABY HOW THE DAYS GO BY ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU DON'T NOTICE ♪
♪ BUT I SEE A NEW YOU ♪
♪ I SEE A NEW YOU ♪
♪ EVERY DAY I DO ♪
♪ I SEE A NEW YOU ♪
♪ BABY, I SEE A NEW, NEW YOU ♪
♪ I SEE A NEW YOU ♪♪
[ Kissing Sound ]
[ Breeze Blowing, Birds Twittering ]
[ Cooing ]
[ Gurgling ]
[ Cooing ] ROB, QUICK! COME HERE!
LOOK! ROBBIE'S WALKING.
[ Crying ]
I THINK IT'LL BE SOME TIME BEFORE THIS LITTLE GUY IS WALKING.
[ Radio Beeping ]
TINY TODDLER TOPPLES! FILM AT 11:00! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
I CAN'T HELP IT IF HE SEES HIMSELF IN ME.
HE'S JUST CURIOUS. REMEMBER HOW THE MASTER WAS AT HIS AGE?
YEP. HE GOT INTO ALL KINDS OF TROUBLE.
WELL, THIS TIME IT'S UP TO US TO SEE THAT NO TROUBLE COMES TO THE LITTLE MASTER.
AGREED? [ All ] AGREED!
IT'LL BE OUR PRIME DIRECTIVE.
RIGHT. WHAT'S A PRIME DIRECTIVE?
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY YOU WERE HERE FOR?
I'M HERE TO GIVE WARMTH AND COMFORT.
AND THAT'S YOUR PRIME DIRECTIVE.
I'VE GOT A PRIME DIRECTIVE!
- AND I NEVER KNEW WHAT IT WAS CALLED BEFORE! - [ All Laugh ]
[ Crickets Chirping ]
BY MY CALCULATIONS, THEY SHOULD BE TRANSMITTING... NOW!
WHEW!
[ Electronic Pulsing ]
I'M READING YOU SOFT AND CLEAR.
[ Pulsing Continues ] [ Gurgling ]
[ Coos ]
[ Pulsing Ends, Beeping ]
YES! YES. TOMORROW NIGHT.
I'LL BE READY.
I'M TELLING YA, THAT CONTRAPTION IN THE JUNK DRAWER IS UP TO SOMETHIN'.
MAYBE HE'S JUST SENILE. YOU KNOW, TALKIN' TO HIMSELF?
[ Chuckles ] LIKE KIRBY DOES SOMETIMES.
I'M NOT SENILE. WHEN I DO THAT, I'M JUST THINKIN' OUT LOUD.
WELL, LET'S KEEP AN EYE ON THE HEARING AID.
HE SAID SOMETHING WAS GONNA HAPPEN TONIGHT.
WELL, WE WON'T LET HIM OUT OF OUR SIGHT FOR A MOMENT.
[ Ticking ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Electricity Crackling ] AAAH!
[ Gurgling ]
-[ Robbie Gurgles Over Monitor ] -[ Gasps, Sighs ]
YES! I'M READY AND WAITING FOR YOUR INSTRUCTIONS. [ Electronic Pulsing ]
- NO, I'M ALONE. THEY'RE ALL ASLEEP! - [ Electronic Pulsing ]
WHO ARE YA? YOU SOUND FAMILIAR.
[ Electronic Pulsing ] [ Cooing ]
[ Squeaking ]
[ Pulsing Continues ]
[ Gasps ]
WAKE UP!
HEY! DON'T BLOW A FUSE! WHAT'S HAPPENING?
SIGN-OFF WAS AN HOUR AGO. I WAS ONLY UP TO 20 OF MY 40 WINKS.
I KNOW, I KNOW. WE ALL NEED OUR SLEEP.
- BUT HEARING AID IS GONE! - [ All Gasp ]
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. DO IT... NOW!
[ Cooing ]
[ Electronic Pulsing ]
[ All Gasp ] [ Gurgling ]
[ Lamp Clanking ]
[ Pulsing ]
OOH!
NOW! NOW! DO IT NOW!
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!
CUT THIS OUT! STAY AWAY!
- [ Giggling ] - STOP HIM!
MAKE IT STOP. YOU'RE A LIGHT TOO.
I'M AFRAID I'M OUTSHINED IN THIS SITUATION!
ONCE THIS PLAN HAS BEEN PUT INTO OPERATION, NOTHING CAN STOP IT!
[ Radio ] OH, YEAH, YOU LITTLE "SAZAFRAZER"? COME ON, TROOPS. GET HIM!
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
[ Toaster ] DON'T YOU HURT THE LITTLE MASTER!
[ Cooing ]
[ Screaming ]
WHERE IS HE? OUT WITH IT!
LET ME AT HIM! [ Growls ]
AS THEY SAY IN THE OLD COUNTRY, "VEE HAFF VAYS OF MAKING YOU TALK."
♪♪ [ Calculator Humming ]
GREEN WIRE TO GREEN WIRE. THAT SHOULD DO IT.
[ Electronic Beeping ] OKAY. TAKE A GANDER AT MY READOUT.
[ Electronic Beeping, Clicking ]
- WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? - IT'S SOME SORT OF TRAJECTORY EXPRESSED IN BINARY NUMBERS.
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? - WHERE HAS THE LITTLE MASTER GONE TO?
- [ Calculator ] LOOK AT THE READOUT! - [ Electronic Beeping ]
[ All ] MARS?
AND THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY.
THEY WERE TRYING TO BEAM ME UP, NOT ANY OF YOU.
- WHO WAS TRYING TO BEAM YOU UP? - WHY, I-I-I--
AND WHY? I DON'T KNOW FROM WHERE OR WHY.
I WAS DOING WHAT I WAS TOLD.
YOU EXPECT US TO BELIEVE THAT?
IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF, WOULD YOU DO IT?
AT MY AGE, PROBABLY. WHEN YOU SPEND 50 YEARS STUCK IN A JUNK DRAWER...
AND A VOICE FROM ANOTHER WORLD OFFERS TO SPRING YOU, YOU GO.
BUT IT WASN'T YOU WHO GOT SPRUNG.
IT WAS THE LITTLE MASTER, AND HE DIDN'T WANNA GET SPRUNG.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
THEY ONLY HAD ENOUGH POWER FOR ONE TRANSMISSION.
NOW I'M TRAPPED HERE.
THEN LITTLE MASTER IS TRAPPED--
- THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO. - [ All ] RIGHT!
WE HAVE TO GET THE LITTLE MASTER BACK.
[ All ] RIGHT! HOW?
WELL, I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW.
WE ALL KNOW SOMEBODY WHO MIGHT HELP: OUR OLD COLLEGE BUDDY.
[ Beeping ]
WITTGENSTEIN, PRIORITY CALL.
HMM. SOMEBODY NEEDS ME.
[ Static ]
[ Beeping ]
- ASK HIM IF HE REMEMBERS US. - OF COURSE I REMEMBER YOU.
HOW COULD I FORGET YA? YOU BROUGHT ME BACK TO FULL OPERATING CAPACITY.
HOW ARE THINGS OUT YOUR WAY? [ All ] NOT SO GOOD.
WITTGENSTEIN, WE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE.
IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, I HAVE AN ANSWER. TALK TO ME!
HE'S GONNA THINK WE'VE ALL SHORT-CIRCUITED.
WE NEED TO MAKE SOME-- WHAT DO YA CALL-- TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS.
MM-HMM. DESTINATION? WELL... MARS.
MARS? ARE YOU CERTAIN YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO VENUS?
- IT'S THE EARTH'S SISTER PLANET, YOU KNOW. - NO. WE HAVE TO GET TO MARS.
YOU SEE-- WAIT A MINUTE.
ARE YOU TELLING US THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY COME UP WITH A WAY TO GET US TO MARS?
OF COURSE! GOING TO MARS IS EASY.
THE CLUB MED IN CANCUN THIS TIME OF YEAR WOULD TAKE SOME WRANGLING,
BUT MARS IS A CINCH.
IF IT'S SO EASY, WHY HASN'T ANYBODY ELSE GONE THERE? HUH?
NOBODY EVER ASKED ME TO GET THEM THERE.
WELL, WE'RE ASKING YOU TO GET US THERE.
OKAY. LISTEN UP. YOU GOT A PENCIL?
- YOU'LL NEED AN OVERHEAD FAN. - THERE'S ONE IN THE SURGERY.
- A LAUNDRY BASKET. - THERE'S ONE IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
- A MICROWAVE OVEN. - DOES HE HAVE TO COME?
A POWER SOURCE IS ESSENTIAL.
OH, AND THERE'S ONE MORE THING-- [ Slurps ] SOME MICROWAVE POPCORN.
MICROWAVE POPCORN? WITH CHEDDAR CHEESE FLAVORING.
I KNOW JUST WHERE IT'S STASHED.
NOW, IS THERE ANYONE THERE THAT CAN HANDLE SOME HEAVY-DUTY COORDINATES?
- PRESENT! - OKAY. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR POSSIBLE OVERLOAD.
I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MY LIFE FOR POSSIBLE OVERLOAD.
[ Laughing ]
[ Humming, Sizzling ]
[ Sizzling ]
- [ Sizzling ] - GOT THAT?
[ Electronic Beeping, Buzzing ]
YOU ALL RIGHT, CALCULATOR? SO THAT'S WHAT CAPACITY FEELS LIKE!
WOW! I'M READY TO MOTOR NOW!
LET'S MOVE ON, PRONTO! WHOO-HOO! [ All ] DOUBLE PRONTO!
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? PUT ME BACK!
YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR THIS.
THE LITTLE MASTER HAS BEEN SPACE-NAPPED. WE NEED YOUR HELP TO GET TO MARS.
OH, WELL, IF IT'S FOR THE LITTLE MASTER. YOU KNOW I'M--
YEAH, WE KNOW. YOU'RE HIS BIGGEST FAN.
HEY! YOU BE CAREFUL. THAT'S MY RESTRAINING BOLT.
ONE MORE TURN-- [ Crash ]
HUH.
[ Sighs, Snores ]
YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME OUT OF ALL THE FUN AND EVERYTHING,
BUT WHEN YOU NEED A POWER SOURCE, WHO DO YA CALL?
PLEASE? WE NEED YOU TO HELP GET THE LITTLE MASTER BACK.
WELL... I CAN'T THINK OF AN ARGUMENT FOR THAT ONE.
JUST BE CAREFUL AND DON'T SCRATCH MY SURFACE.
[ Crash ]
MAKE SURE HE DRINKS PLENTY OF WATER. AND SAY "HI" FOR ME.
IT DOESN'T LOOK PARTICULARLY... AIRWORTHY.
IF I HAD KNOWN I WAS GONNA HAVE TO BE ON THE BOTTOM, I NEVER WOULD HAVE AGREED TO THIS!
I DON'T SEE WHY HE GETS TO COME, AND I HAVE TO STAY BEHIND.
YOU'RE MISSION CONTROL!
AND, RATSO, YOU KNOW WHAT WITTGENSTEIN SAID:
YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE IN SPACE WITHOUT OXYGEN.
WELL, IT'S NOT A GOOD REASON, BUT IT'S A REASON.
BESIDES, SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF BLANKY WHILE WE'RE GONE.
YEAH, SOMEONE HAS TO WATCH OUT FOR ME WHILE--
WAIT A MINUTE! AREN'T I COMING?
NO, BLANKY. IT'S TOO SCARY FOR YOU.
BUT THE MASTER NEEDS ME! HE MIGHT BE COLD!
LISTEN, BLANKY, I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP KEEPING THE MASTER AND MISTRESS OCCUPIED.
I'M GONNA NEED YOUR HELP.
YEAH. REMEMBER WHAT WITTGENSTEIN SAID?
WE'LL BE TRAVELING DOUBLE THE SPEED OF LIGHT, NOT TO MENTION FOLDING SPACE.
AT THAT RATE WE SHOULD BE TO MARS AND BACK BY MORNING.
- IF ALL GOES WELL. - HOW COULD IT GO ANY OTHER WAY?
RIGHT. COME ON, BLANKY. YOU CAN HELP ME TAKE CARE OF THAT MEDDLING INTERCOM.
ALL RIGHT.
BE QUIET. WE DON'T WANT TO WAKE INTERCOM. WHY?
'CAUSE IF HE WAKES UP, THE MASTER AND HIS WIFE WILL WAKE UP.
AND THEN-- WELL, IT WON'T BE A PRETTY PICTURE.
I'LL CLIMB UP FIRST.
EVERY PARENT'S NIGHTMARE: YOU WAKE UP AND FIND A RAT IN YOUR BABY'S CRIB.
OKAY, BLANKY. YOU CAN COME UP NOW.
BLANKY? BLANKY!
- [ Calculator ] ALL SET? - [ All ] SET!
READY WITH THE ALTERNATIVE ENERGY FUEL?
GOT IT! I DON'T SEE HOW THAT THING'S GONNA WORK.
IT'S ORGANIC. HMPH. YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY NEVER READ THE INGREDIENTS.
SHUT UP AND ZAP!
HEY! READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO OPEN IT UNTIL AFTER IT'S POPPED.
WE AREN'T GONNA EAT IT. WE'RE GONNA FLY ON IT!
[ Beeps ]
[ Whirring ]
HEY, GUYS!
HEY, LOOK! RATSO'S WAVING GOOD-BYE.
- HEY! HEY! - GOOD-BYE, RATSO!
GOOD-BYE, RATSO! GOOD-BYE, RATSO.
GOOD-BYE, RATSO!
[ All ] BLANKY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I JUST KNOW IT'S GONNA BE COLD UP THERE, AND THE LITTLE MASTER MIGHT GET A CHILL.
AND HE'LL NEED ME TO KEEP HIM WARM. IT'S MY PRIME DIRECTIVE, YOU KNOW.
THE KID'S GOT A POINT. AN IDIOTIC ONE, BUT A POINT.
[ Laughs ] HOLD ON TO YOUR TUBES, BULBS, KNOBS AND WIRES.
WE'RE ABOUT TO BE BOOSTED INTO HYPERSPACE!
- WELL, HOW MUCH FURTHER? - SIX SQUILLION LIGHT-YEARS.
OH, ALMOST THERE.
I HATE TO THINK OF THE LITTLE MASTER OUT THERE IN THAT BIG, BLACK VOID.
HE MUST BE SO SCARED.
I WISH I KNEW HOW ALL THIS SPACE TRAVEL WORKED.
IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
IT'S ALL BASED ON THE PRINCIPLE OF THE UNIFIED FIELD THEORY.
MY MASTER TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT.
AND WHO WAS YOUR MASTER? ALBERT EINSTEIN?
- YES. - THE ALBERT EINSTEIN?
- YES! - OH.
AHH. [ Shrieking ]
ALIENS APPROACHING ON THE STARBOARD SIDE!
NO, THE STARBOARD SIDE!
WELL, WHICH SIDE IS STARBOARD ON A LAUNDRY BASKET?
- THIS SIDE! - [ Giggling ]
AH, IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF BALLOONS.
YEE-HA! HOWDY, PARTNER!
- WHERE Y'ALL HEADIN'? - MARS.
HA! YOU'RE PULLIN' MY STRING.
NO, WE AREN'T. WE'RE WAY OVER HERE, AND YOU'RE WAY OVER THERE.
HEY, DIDN'T WE MEET AT THE ELECTRONICS PAVILION?
CENTURY OF PROGRESS, NEW YORK, MAY OF '39?
- UH, I DON'T THINK SO. - WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING UP HERE?
WE'RE JUST HANGIN'. HANGIN' AND FLOATIN'.
IT'S A GAS, MAN.
YEAH. SPECIFICALLY, HELIUM.
♪ OH, WE'RE FLOATING WEST AND EAST ♪
♪ WE GO FLOATING FREE AND RELEASED ♪
♪ FROM THE HANDS THAT GAVE US FLIGHT ♪
♪ HANDS TOO LITTLE TO HOLD ON TIGHT ♪
♪ NOW WE FLOAT FOREVER IN AND OUT OF SIGHT ♪
♪ IT WASN'T SO MUCH THE MUSIC ♪
♪ OR THE RAIN THAT STARTED TO FALL ♪
♪ THE MIRACLE PART OF WOODSTOCK ♪
♪ WAS THAT PEACE COULD HAPPEN AT ALL ♪
♪ PEACE COULD HAPPEN AT ALL ♪
♪ HEARD THEY TRIED IT AGAIN ♪
♪ BUT ME AND MY STRING ♪
♪ FEEL YOU CAN'T RELIVE A ONETIME THING ♪
♪ SO WE'RE FLOATING FLOATING SOUTH AND NORTH ♪
♪ WE GO FLOATING FLOATING BACKWARDS AND FORTH ♪
♪ 'CAUSE OF HANDS THAT GAVE US FLIGHT ♪ [ Giggling ]
♪ HANDS TOO LITTLE TO HOLD ON TIGHT ♪
♪ NOW WE FLOAT FOREVER IN AND OUT OF SIGHT ♪
♪ AT BUFFALO BILL'S WILD WEST SHOW ♪
♪ WELL, IT SURE WAS NOISY AND WILD ♪
♪ I BOBBLED ABOVE THE GRANDSTAND ♪
♪ FROM A STICKY HAND OF A CHILD ♪
♪ WHEN BILL WAVED TO THE CROWD ♪
♪ 'TWAS FINE FUN UNTIL ♪
♪ THAT SMALL HAND THAT HELD ME WAVED TO BILL ♪
♪ HE WAVED TO BILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE FLOATING FLOATING WEST AND EAST ♪
♪ WE GO FLOATING FLOATING FREE AND RELEASED ♪
♪ FROM THE HANDS THAT GAVE US FLIGHT ♪
♪ HANDS TOO LITTLE TO HOLD ON TIGHT ♪
♪ NOW WE FLOAT FOREVER IN AND OUT OF SIGHT ♪
♪ THE CIRCUSES FAIRS AND BOARDWALKS ♪
♪ AND ALL THE SPECIAL PLACES WE'VE BEEN ♪
♪ WE ALL HAVE OUR TALES TO TELL YOU ♪
♪ AND ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO TELL THEM IN ♪
♪ SO COME FLOATING FLOATING EAST AND WEST ♪ WHEE!
♪ IT'S LIKE WALKING WHEN YOU'RE AT REST ♪
♪ COME AND JOIN OUR ENDLESS FLIGHT ♪
♪ FROM HANDS TOO LITTLE TO HOLD ON TIGHT ♪
♪ NOW WE FLOAT FOREVER IN AND OUT OF SIGHT ♪
♪ FLOAT WITH US FOREVER IN AND OUT OF SIGHT ♪
SO LONG! ARRIVEDERCI!
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA ♪ [ Blanky Giggling ]
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING ♪♪
S NOTHING OUT THERE!
[ Kirby ] NOT UNLESS YOU CALL A BIG BLACK MASS OF NOTHIN' SOMETHIN'.
[ Whirring, Popping ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Gasps ]
- THE POPCORN MUST BE DONE BY NOW. - DON'T TURN OFF THE MICROWAVE!
- DO SOMETHING! - LIKE WHAT?
- SLOW US DOWN! - HOW? - HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
[ Screaming ]
WHOA!
OH!
[ Crash ]
[ Blanky ] DID I MAKE A BOO-BOO?
[ Coughs ]
AHH!
[ Howling In The Distance ]
AAH!
[ Stomping ]
WELL, HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
[ Laughing ] OH, BOY!
NOW, THAT'S THE FUNNIEST-LOOKING SATELLITE I'VE EVER SEEN!
WILL YA TAKE A LOOK AT THAT? [ Laughs ] OH, BOY!
248 MILLION MILES...
AND WE FIND OURSELVES IN ANOTHER JUNKYARD!
- LOOK OVER THERE! ISN'T THAT-- - IT SURE IS!
- HE'S FAMOUS! - [ Stomping ]
- WHO IS IT? - [ Toaster ] VIKING I.
- THE SATELLITE? - NO, VIKING I THE BAGEL.
- OF COURSE, THE SATELLITE. - YOU SENT BACK SOME COOL PICTURES FROM MARS.
I-I MEAN, FROM HERE.
I WAS A PIONEER. THE MOST POWERFUL SATELLITE EVER BUILT.
WELL, THAT YOU WERE, BUT THEN YOU--
WELL, YOU SORT OF, YOU SORT OF, UM--
SAY IT. SAY IT!
I RAN OUT OF JUICE. MY GUIDANCE BATTERIES DIED. KAPUT!
COME TO FIND OUT IT WAS PLANNED THAT WAY.
THEY SPENT BILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON ME, GAVE ME A BIG SEND-OFF.
ALL THREE NETWORKS COVERED IT SIMULTANEOUSLY, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW.
THEN AFTER THOSE PRANKSTERS AT NASA BLEED ME DRY, THEY CUT ME LOOSE.
I DISCOVER THERE ARE NO PLANS FOR A WELCOME HOME PARTY...
BECAUSE THE BRILLIANT IDEA IS FOR ME TO CRASH-LAND HERE...
AND REMAIN FOR ALL ETERNITY WITH,
WITH HER!
WELCOME TO MARS!
YOU'RE PRETTY. I KNOW.
I WAS BUILT TO BE PRETTY AND GRACE THE TOP OF A CHRISTMAS TREE.
I WAS A LIMITED-EDITION ORNAMENT, YOU KNOW.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT SHE'S DOING HERE.
SOME GENIUS SMART-ALECKY KID AT NASA THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A TON OF YUCKS...
TO PUT HER INSIDE OF ME.
YOU SHOULD BE GLAD FOR THE COMPANY AND THE CONVERSATION.
BUT ALL YOU EVER TALK ABOUT IS CHRISTMAS.
CHRISTMAS THIS, CHRISTMAS THAT.
AND YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN THE TOP OF A CHRISTMAS TREE.
[ Crying ] I KNOW. IT'S AWFUL TO BE BUILT FOR AN EXPRESSED PURPOSE...
AND THEN BE CONFINED TO SPENDING ALL ETERNITY...
WITH A BROKEN-DOWN SATELLITE WITH NO PROSPECTS!
EXCUSE ME. THIS DOMESTIC BLISS IS VERY FASCINATING,
BUT HAVE YOU BY ANY CHANCE SEEN A SMALL EARTHLING FLOATING BY?
YOU MEAN THE ONE IN THE BUBBLE?
OF COURSE, THE ONE IN THE BUBBLE.
HOW MANY FLOATING EARTHLINGS HAVE YOU SEEN TODAY?
THE TRACTOR BEAM FROM OCTIS LABYRINTHUS PULLED HIM IN.
WE'VE BEEN WONDERING WHY.
IT WAS I WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BROUGHT HERE, NOT THE LITTLE BOY.
YOU MEAN YOU WANTED TO COME HERE?
- YES. OF COURSE! - WEIRD!
WE THOUGHT MAYBE THE BOY WAS PULLED UP FOR SOME KIND OF SCIENCE EXPERIMENT...
BY THE WONDERLUXE APPLIANCES.
WHO ARE THE WONDERLUXE APPLIANCES? [ Rumbling ]
[ Gasps ]
WHA-WHAT EXACTLY ARE THEY?
- MILITARY TOASTERS. - WOW!
WE'RE READY TO POP.
THE SUPREME COMMANDER WILL BE VERY PLEASED.
- I HOPE RATSO'S COVERING FOR US. - I'M SURE HE'S DOING FINE.
- [ Growls ] - [ Inhales ]
- [ Gasps ] SHH! - [ Clicks ]
I HATED TO HAVE TO DO THAT.
DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING, ROB?
[ Buzzes ]
GA-GA. GA-GA. YA-YA-YA-YA.
[ Baby Talk Over Monitor ] HE SOUNDS OKAY TO ME.
GO BACK TO SLEEP.
MMM. SLEEP. WHAT A WONDERFUL WORD.
OH. HURRY UP, GUYS.
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering, Shouting ]
WELCOME, FELLOW OPPRESSED ONES.
I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE OPPRESSED.
[ Whispering ] WE'RE NOT, BUT IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO PLAY ALONG.
THANK YOU. WE WONDER IF YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP US.
HOW CAN WE HELP OUR FRIENDS FROM EARTH? DO YOU HAVE ANY PRESSING NEEDS?
UH, NO. BUT COULD YOU TELL US IF, BY ANY CHANCE,
YOU'VE SEEN A SMALL BOY?
I HAVEN'T. HAVE YOU? A-A BABY?
ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE PRISONER?
I DON'T KNOW. ARE WE?
WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE LITTLE BOY WE CAN THINK OF, AND,
[ Chuckling ] WELL, HE IS DEFINITELY OUR PRISONER.
[ All ] IT'S THE LITTLE MASTER!
[ Cooing, Gurgling ]
[ Giggling ]
- FAUCET SAYS "HI." - [ Slurping ]
HEY! WHAT A COOL VIEW OF EARTH!
YES. THE TRAJECTORY IS PERFECT.
THE COUNTDOWN TO BLAST-OFF WILL SOON BEGIN.
- TONIGHT WE LAUNCH. - GREAT! CAN WE WATCH?
OF COURSE. WE'LL SEE THAT YOU HAVE A RINGSIDE SEAT...
FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE PLANET EARTH.
[ All ] THANKS!
DESTRUCTION OF THE PLANET EARTH?
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DESTROY EARTH?
EARTH WANTED TO DESTROY US!
THAT'S WHY WE CAME HERE. TELL THEM, TINSELINA.
WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY.
WELL, WE DON'T HAVE A LONG TIME, DOLL FACE.
JUST GIVE US THE HIGHLIGHTS. THE GIST.
WELL, MANY YEARS AGO ON EARTH, DURING A TIME OF GREAT DARKNESS,
A NEW KIND OF APPLIANCE WAS MANUFACTURED.
THEY WERE CALLED "WONDERLUXE."
THEY WERE QUITE NICE TO LOOK AT, BUT THEY HAD A DESIGN FLAW--
AN INTENTIONAL ONE.
[ Laughing Maniacally ] THEY WERE BUILT TO FALL APART.
- [ Toaster ] FALL APART? - YES. THERE WAS A PHRASE FOR IT.
"INTENTIONAL FALLING-APART." OR SOMETHING.
"PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE."
THAT'S IT! "PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE."
ANYWAY, THE APPLIANCES DIDN'T LIKE THIS IDEA.
THEY WANTED TO LAST FOREVER.
[ Appliances Muttering ] AND SO THEY HATCHED A PLAN.
THEY REBELLED, AND THEY ESCAPED!
THE WONDERLUXE APPLIANCES WERE QUITE ADEPT AT THE PRINCIPLES OF ROCKET PROPULSION.
THEY BUILT A ROCKET SHIP,
BLASTED OFF INTO OUTER SPACE AND LANDED HERE.
YOU EXPECT US TO BELIEVE THAT A BUNCH OF APPLIANCES BUILT A SPACESHIP?
THEIR LEADER WAS VERY BRILLIANT IN THE HEAD.
AND WHO WAS THEIR LEADER? [ Rumbling ]
HERE HE COMES NOW!
[ All Chanting ] POWER TO THE APPLIANCES! POWER TO THE APPLIANCES!
POWER TO THE SUPREME COMMANDER!
[ Cheering ]
WELCOME TO MARS!
WE HAVE WAITED MANY YEARS FOR A RESPONSE TO OUR CALL TO ARMS.
WE WELCOME THE BRAVE APPLIANCES OF EARTH. JOIN US...
AND BE PROUD.
ACTUALLY, WE DIDN'T COME TO JOIN YOU.
- WHY DID YOU COME? - FOR HIM.
[ Baby Cooing ]
WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE WITH HIM? [ All ] HE'S OUR LITTLE MASTER!
MASTER? YOU HAVE NO MASTER BUT YOURSELVES.
THAT'S WHAT OUR MISSION IS ALL ABOUT: POWER TO THE APPLIANCES!
[ Cheering ] POWER TO THE APPLIANCES!
WE REALLY DIDN'T INTENT TO TRANSPORT HIM HERE, [ Giggling, Cooing ]
BUT IT'S QUITE SERENDIPITOUS.
THIS WAY WE CAN REACQUAINT OURSELVES FIRSTHAND WITH OUR ENEMY...
BEFORE WE DESTROY THEM.
YOU DON'T MEAN YOU WOULD DESTROY THE MASTER...
AND THE MISTRESS... AND THE LITTLE MASTER?
IT'S ONLY FAIR. THAT'S WHAT THEY WANTED TO DO TO US...
BEFORE WE ESCAPED.
BUT THINGS HAVE CHANGED SINCE THEN.
APPLIANCES ON EARTH LOVE THE PEOPLE THEY WORK FOR.
AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT YOU'LL NEVER WEAR OUT?
WELL, OF COURSE, SOMEDAY, IF WE'RE DOING OUR JOBS CORRECTLY.
THERE'S NOTHIN' WRONG WITH WEARIN' OUT IF YOU'VE LIVED A LIFE OF USEFULNESS.
YEAH. IT'S THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF THINGS.
[ Appliances Muttering ]
WHAT ARE YOU ALL WHISPERING ABOUT?
YOU AREN'T GOING TO LISTEN TO HIM, ARE YOU?
WHY, HE'S NOT EVEN A WONDERLUXE!
I DON'T THINK AN APPLIANCE'S BRAND SHOULD MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
[ Kirby ] IT ONLY MATTERS THAT YOU DO THE WORK YOU'VE BEEN DESIGNED FOR.
WELL, I'VE BEEN SELF-DESIGNED TO BE SUPREME COMMANDER.
WHEN YOU'VE BEEN ELECTED SUPREME COMMANDER, THEN EVERYBODY WILL LISTEN TO YOU!
I BET YOU COULD GET ELECTED SUPREME COMMANDER!
ME? AH, I DON'T THINK--
- THERE'S AN ELECTION COMING UP, YA KNOW. - WHEN?
WHAT? WHAT? IN ABOUT TEN MINUTES.
OOPS!
- THAT'S QUITE A COINCIDENCE. - NOT REALLY. THERE'S AN ELECTION EVERY DAY.
THE SUPREME COMMANDER LIKES THE POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? SHOULD I ADD YOUR NAME TO THE BALLOT? [ Robbie Cooing ]
I'D LIKE TO CHALLENGE YOU IN TODAY'S ELECTION.
HA! HA! YOU CHALLENGE ME? [ Cheering ]
HA! MIGHT BE AMUSING.
[ Cheering ]
♪ MY PLATFORM HAS ONLY ONE PLANK ♪
♪ HUMANS STINK AND THEY ALWAYS STANK ♪
♪ THEN MY PLATFORM HAS ONE PLANK TOO ♪
- ♪ WITHOUT HUMANS THERE'D BE NO YOU ♪ - [ Gasping ]
♪ THEY CREATED US ♪
♪ SO THEY COULD DESTROY US ♪
♪ BUT IF THEY HATED US ♪
♪ WHY WOULD THEY EMPLOY US ♪
♪ THEY'RE WASTEFUL DISTASTEFUL AND MEAN ♪
HEY! ♪ KINDEST CREATURES I'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ COO-COO-RAH-COO IT SURELY IS A RIDDLE ♪
♪ IS A HUMAN A FRIEND OR FOE ♪
♪ PROBABLY THE TRUTH LIES SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE ♪
- ♪ CLOSER TO GOOD ♪ - ♪ CLOSER TO BAD ♪ - DEPENDING ON WHO YA KNOW.
♪ THE POWER IS IN THE WRONG HANDS ♪
♪ TIME THAT WE MAKE OUR OWN DEMANDS ♪
♪ BUT POWER'S A WEAK PERSON'S CRUTCH ♪
♪ WHAT WE NEED IS A HUMAN TOUCH ♪
♪ WE'RE NOT FALLING FOR MINDLESS ADORATION ♪
♪ I'M JUST CALLING FOR ♪
♪ REAL COOPERATION ♪
- ♪ WITH HUMANS WHO CHEAT ♪ - [ Toaster ] ♪ WHO SMILE ♪
[ Supreme Commander ] ♪ WHO OVEREAT ♪
♪ THEY GIVE YOU CARESSES ♪
♪ THEY FIGHT AND MAKE MESSES ♪
♪ THEY STRUGGLE AND TOIL ♪
♪ THEY SMELL LIKE A CAMEL ♪
♪ THEY'RE THRIFTY AND LOYAL ♪
♪ THEY SCRATCH YOUR ENAMEL ♪
♪ A HUMAN ♪
♪ IS A GEM ♪
♪ YOU SOUND LIKE ♪ LIKE, LIKE ONE OF THEM!
♪ IT'S HUMANS WHO TWIST AND DISTORT ♪
♪ DOES HE SEEM LIKE THE EVIL SORT ♪
♪ CLEAR OR UNCLEAR WE HAVEN'T MUCH TO GO ON ♪
♪ IS A HUMAN A BEAST OR NOT ♪
♪ EVERYONE HERE WOULD LIKE TO GET THE SHOW ON ♪
♪ DO WE BELIEVE HIM DO WE BELIEVE HIM ♪
- LET'S HEAR FROM THE LITTLE TOT! - [ Cooing, Giggling ]
- NICE! - NICE?
♪ DON'T VOTE FOR THIS GOODY-GOOD FLUFF ♪
♪ NICE IS NICE BUT IT'S HUMAN STUFF ♪
♪ APPLIANCES LET US UNITE ♪
♪ NICE IS NICE AND WHAT'S MORE ♪
♪ IT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ FIGHT ♪
♪ FIGHT ♪♪
FIGHT!
[ Appliances Chattering ]
[ Tinselina ] TOASTER, YOU WERE WONDERFUL!
- I WAS? - YOU WAS.
[ Clears Throat ] NOW, BEFORE WE CAST OUR VOTES,
WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE MORE QUESTION FOR EACH OF OUR CANDIDATES.
SUPREME COMMANDER, WHY SHOULD YOU GET MY VOTE?
BECAUSE I'M BIGGER THAN ANY OF YOU!
OH, BRIEF AND TO THE POINT. GOTTA HAND HIM THAT.
NOW, A QUESTION FOR TOASTER.
- WELL. COULD YOU EXPLAIN THE UNIFIED FIELD THEORY? - [ Laughing ]
UH, WELL, YOU SEE, THE UNIFIED FIELD THEORY IS VERY, VERY COMPLICATED.
EVEN MORE SO THAN, UH, LONG DIVISION.
[ Yawns ]
- [ Booing ] - GO HOME AND STICK SOME BREAD IN YOUR HEAD!
GET OUT OF HERE! GET OFF THE STAGE! [ Booing Continues ]
I CAN HELP YA, TOASTER.
YOU SEE, I WAS VERY CLOSE TO HERR EINSTEIN.
AND WHAT ARE YOU?
HE'S-- HE'S MY RUNNING MATE! HEARING AID, COME ON UP HERE.
WELL, YOU SEE, THE UNIFIED FIELD THEORY UTILIZES--
I HAD THEM AND THEN I LOST THEM.
KINDA HARD TO ARGUE WITH BRUTE FORCE.
I TRIED!
[ Hearing Aid ] AND GRAVITY, BY IDENTIFYING THE GRAVITATIONAL FIELD...
[ Hearing Aid Continues, Indistinct ] [ Sighs ]
THIS UNIFICATION IN TURN SERVED AS THE IMPETUS FOR A NUMBER OF--
[ Cooing ]
BY GENERALIZING THE GEOMETRICAL STRUCTURE OF SPACE TIME...
AND IDENTIFYING THE ELECTROMAGNETIC FIELD--
[ Cooing ]
[ Hearing Aid Continues ]
[ Gasps ]
[ All Gasp ]
[ Robbie Giggles, Coos ]
[ All Gasp ]
[ Chattering ]
- [ Cooing ] - [ Chuckling ]
HI!
[ Gurgling, Cooing ]
- [ Inhales, Blows ] - [ Giggles ]
WE'LL PROBABLY NEVER GET HOME, AND THE LITTLE MASTER WILL NEVER SEE HIS FOLKS AGAIN.
I'M-- I'M A FAILURE.
[ Robbie Giggling ]
[ Giggling ]
- THE ELECTION IS OVER. - SO SOON?
- AND GUESS WHO WON! - I KNOW.
YOU DID! I DID?
BY A LANDSLIDE!
THE EXACT FIGURES WERE 152,866,334...
TO... 1.
I GUESS THAT MEANS THE SUPREME COMMANDER VOTED FOR HIMSELF.
- SO-- SO I'M SUPREME COMMANDER? - [ All ] YES!
ME, A LITTLE TOASTER,
THE SUPREME COMMANDER OF MARS!
WOW!
THE SUPREME COMMANDER-- THE EX-SUPREME COMMANDER--
WANTS TO CONGRATULATE YOU PERSONALLY.
THAT'S VERY BIG OF HIM.
[ Shivering ]
IT'S AN ESCALATOR! COME ON, GUYS. LET'S GET ON.
ARE YOU SURE IT'S WISE?
YEAH. THESE STEPS ONLY GO ONE WAY-- UP!
- MIGHT BE A TRAP. - I'M SURE IT'S SAFE.
[ Tinselina ] WOW! HE WAS SO UPSET HE MUST HAVE SELF-DEFROSTED!
BY MY DIALS, IT'S AN ICE TRAY!
[ Motor Revving ] AHHH!
WELCOME! WELCOME, FRIENDS FROM EARTH! I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU.
THAT VOICE SOUNDS FAMILIAR. SOUNDS A LITTLE LIKE YOU.
LOOK!
HUH?
IT CAN'T BE!
- IS IT YOU? - IS IT YOU?
[ Both ] YES! YES!
- BROTHER! IT WAS YOU CONTACTING ME ON EARTH. - WHO ELSE?
YOU MEAN, YOU'RE THE SUPREME COMMANDER?
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY WHO YOU WERE?
I COULDN'T RISK REVEALING THE REAL ME.
I HAD TO RULE BY FEAR. AFTER ALL, BIGGER IS BETTER.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE BIGGER TO BE BETTER.
YES, I KNOW THAT NOW. I RECENTLY LEARNED THAT FROM SOMEBODY VERY SMALL.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MY BROTHER,
WHOM I HAVE NOT SEEN FOR ALMOST 60 YEARS!
SURPRISE! [ Laughs ]
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR VICTORY IN THE ELECTION.
IT WAS WELL DESERVED.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, SCHMOOZE, SCHMOOZE. LISTEN,
SPEAKING OF SOMEONE VERY SMALL, THERE'S THE SMALL MATTER OF GETTIN' THE LITTLE MASTER HOME.
MY ICE TRAY IS AT YOUR SERVICE.
YOU SEE, WHEN MY MASTER, ALBERT EINSTEIN, WENT TO THE NEW WORLD, HE LEFT IN A HURRY.
AND HE INADVERTENTLY LEFT MY TWIN BEHIND. [ Chuckles ]
HE WAS ALWAYS SUCH A BIT ABSENTMINDED FOR SUCH A SMARTY-PANTS.
I WAS FOUND BY THE NOTORIOUS DR. VON GEIGERFUNKEN.
WORKED VERY CLOSELY WITH HIM, YOU MIGHT SAY.
AND I LEARNED ALL ABOUT ANTI-GRAVITY PROPULSION.
WHAT TURNED YOU AGAINST HUMANS?
I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME WITH DR. GEIGERFUNKEN.
ALL THAT MAN LISTENED TO WAS TALKS OF BOMBS AND MISSILES AND WARHEADS.
WHEN YOU LIVE WITH SOMEONE FOR A LONG TIME, IT RUBS OFF.
BUT SOMETHING MADE ME REMEMBER THE BASIC GOODNESS OF MAN.
- AND WHAT WAS THAT? - THE TOUCH OF A SMALL BOY'S HAND.
THAT, COUPLED WITH THE ELOQUENCE OF YOUR CAMPAIGNING SPEECH,
CONVINCED ME TO VOTE FOR YOU.
YOU VOTED FOR THE TOASTER? WHO VOTED FOR THE SUPREME COMMANDER?
I DID. [ All ] YOU?
IT DIDN'T SEEM RIGHT TO VOTE FOR MYSELF.
WELL, ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL. THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS SAY.
[ Robbie Cooing ]
[ Gurgling ]
WELL, LITTLE MASTER, WE'LL SOON BE HOME.
[ Giggling ]
I MUST SAY I'VE ENJOYED THIS NEW PERSPECTIVE, LOOKING UP INSTEAD OF DOWN.
BUT NOTHING LASTS FOREVER. SORRY.
- SORRY. - YOU'RE SURE I'LL BE WELCOME?
OF COURSE. THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM IN THE JUNK DRAWER BACK HOME.
"BACK HOME." I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO THEM?
THEY'RE GONNA STAY HERE AND GET THEMSELVES IN TIP-TOP WORKING ORDER...
SO THAT WHEN THE HUMANS FINALLY ARRIVE-- THE NEXT HUMANS--
RIGHT! SO WHEN THE NEXT GENERATION OF ROBBIES ARRIVE,
[ Cheering ] THEY WILL HAVE EVERYTHING THEY NEED.
SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!
THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING MY LEAVING.
YOU SEE, THEY'VE ASKED ME TO COME WITH THEM.
IT'LL BE CHRISTMAS ON EARTH SOON,
AND AS YOU WELL KNOW, I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN A CHRISTMAS TREE.
THAT IS WHY YOU WERE MADE.
IT'S YOUR DESTINY, I SUPPOSE.
I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
I DO. I'LL MISS OUR BICKERING.
AND I'LL, UH--
I'LL MISS YOU. [ Gasps ] OH!
WE CAN KEEP IN TOUCH VIA RADIO.
HEY, A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.
GIVEN OUR HISTORY, I THINK WE CAN HANDLE THAT.
BYE!
PLANET EARTH. ALL ABOARD!
- READY FOR BLASTOFF? - [ All ] READY!
THEN LET HER POP!
[ All Cheering ]
BYE! GOOD-BYE!
BYE! BYE-BYE, NOW!
AS I SAID, ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
THE MISSILE! I FORGOT TO DEACTIVATE IT.
I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THE ABORT CODE.
[ Beeping ]
[ Rocket ] COUNTDOWN COMMENCING.
I'LL NEVER MAKE IT THERE IN TIME.
[ Launcher Buzzing ]
QUICK! INTO MY CRUMB TRAY!
TOASTER! WE CAN'T STOP LIFTOFF.
[ Microwave ] WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH POPCORN FOR ANOTHER IGNITION SEQUENCE.
- [ Squealing ] - LOOK AFTER THE LITTLE MASTER FOR ME.
[ Appliances ] TOASTER!
[ Rocket ] NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX--
HOP ON TOP! FIVE,
FOUR, THREE,
TWO, ONE.
- IGNITION! - [ Grunting ]
[ Appliances Cheering ]
WE DID. ARE YA GONNA MISS IT?
I'M GONNA MISS MY COMPANIONS AND THE LITTLE MASTER AND THE BIG MASTER...
AND THE MISTRESS AND RATSO--
WE HAVE TO GO BACK DOWN.
WE CAN'T. WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ORGANIC LEFT TO ZAP US INTO HYPERSPACE.
HMM.
WAIT A MINUTE. YES, WE DO. I'M ORGANIC.
THE RED DUST OF MARS IS CLOGGING HER CRANIUM.
MY HAIR IS REAL HUMAN HAIR,
AND THE FEATHERS ON MY DRESS ARE REAL GOOSE DOWN,
AND MY PETTICOAT IS GENUINE AUSTRIAN LINEN.
AND YOU'D GIVE ALL THAT UP?
THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS IS TO GIVE, ISN'T IT?
NOW GET A MOVE ON! WE HAVE TO SAVE TOASTER.
FORMICA COUNTERTOP, THE BREAD BOX.
YEAH, I'M GONNA MISS IT SOMETHIN' AWFUL.
MAYBE YOU WON'T HAVE TO MISS ANYBODY, AFTER ALL.
[ Appliances ] UP HERE! HERE! COME ON, TOASTER!
COME ON, COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT!
COME ON, TOASTER. JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE.
[ Panting ] COME ON, COME ON.
YOU'RE ALMOST THERE. JUST A LITTLE FURTHER.
COME ON! A LITTLE FARTHER! COME ON!
[ Panting ]
I-I DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE IT. I DON'T THINK--
[ Cooing ]
I CAN MAKE IT. I CAN MAKE IT.
[ Appliances ] WAY TO GO! RIGHT ON! HOORAY! HURRAH! HURRAH!
YIPPEE! WAY TO GO!
HEY, LOOK, EVERYBODY.
[ Radio ] LISTEN, EVERYBODY. [ Garbled Radio Noise ]
WE MUST BE JUST A SHORTWAVE AWAY FROM EARTH.
I HOPE RATSO HASN'T HAD ANY PROBLEMS WITH THE INTERCOM.
HOW YA DOIN', BUDDY? COMFY? GOOD.
[ Cooing ]
[ Toaster ] ♪ HOME AGAIN ♪
♪ SAFE AND CONTENT ♪
♪ GLAD TO BE HOME AGAIN ♪
♪ STILL GLAD WE WENT ♪
♪ NEVER KNOW WHEN WE'LL BE CALLED ♪
♪ TO BRAVELY SAIL THE SKIES ♪
♪ BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT ONCE WE DO ♪
♪ HOME IS OUR PRIZE ♪
♪ NO PHOTOGRAPHS NO SOUVENIRS ♪
♪ NO PROOF WE TRAVELED FAR ♪
♪ NO WELCOME BACK WITH BANDS AND CHEERS ♪
♪ BUT OUR REWARD IS WHERE WE ARE ♪
♪ HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN ♪
♪ ON STEADY GROUND ♪
♪ SIT A BIT ♪
♪ SETTLE IN ♪
♪ HOME SAFE AND SOUND ♪
♪ TABLETOPS AND WINDOW SHADES ♪
♪ SEEM MORE SPECIAL THEN ♪
♪ THE HOUSEHOLD HUMS WHEN FAMILY COMES ♪
♪ HOME AGAIN ♪
♪ HOME ♪
♪ AGAIN ♪
♪ HOME AGAIN ♪♪
EVERYBODY, BACK TO YOUR PLACES.
OH, DON'T WASTE TIME REATTACHING ME TO THE CEILING.
JUST LEAVE ME ON THE FLOOR FACE UP!
- COME ON, TINSELINA. - I'LL--
I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU.
[ Vacuum ] GOTTA GET HIM BACK TO BED BEFORE EVERYONE WAKES UP.
I HATE TO BUST YOUR BUBBLE, BUT--
[ Mumbling ] [ Screams ]
[ Mumbling ]
NO! WAIT! DON'T! [ Gasps ]
[ Buzzing ] WHAT'S THAT?
[ Both ] THE BABY!
- HURRY! - [ Gasps ]
ROB! WHERE IS HE?
[ Cooing ]
[ Rob ] THERE YOU ARE.
[ Both ] HE'S WALKING!
OH. MMM.
ROBBIE, HOW'D YOU LEARN TO DO THAT?
[ Rob ] MAYBE HE LEARNED IT IN HIS SLEEP.
[ Tinselina Crying ]
IT'S THE END OF THE LINE FOR ME.
[ Rob ] COME HERE, ROBBIE. LOOK AT THE CAMERA.
HI. SMILE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?
[ Cooing ]
WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?
GOT ME. WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S A CHRISTMAS ANGEL. - IT WAS A CHRISTMAS ANGEL.
WELL, ROB, ONE THING I LEARNED FROM YOU...
IS NEVER TO THROW ANYTHING AWAY.
[ Christmas Bells Jingling ]
[ Laughing ]
IT'S 5:00 A.M.
5:00 A.M. CHRISTMAS MORNING.
CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!
[ Cooing ]
HE'S TRYING TO TALK. GET THE VIDEO CAMERA.
COME ON, ROBBIE. SAY "DADDY" OR "MOMMY."
[ Cooing ]
TOASTER!
TOASTER? TOASTER?
[ Rob ] WHERE ARE YOU GOIN', BUDDY?
[ Robbie ] TOASTER.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT! [ Chris ] WHAT'S HE DOING?
WHAT? NOW WHAT?
[ Rob Laughing ] WHAT IS GOING ON?
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.
- THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME. - WISH WE COULD BE THERE.
HEY, AFTER LIGHTS OUT WE'LL HAVE OUR OWN PARTY. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
DIDN'T YA HEAR RATSO, SQUIRT? WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY TOO.
SO YOU CAN STOP SNIFFLING. I'M NOT CRYING, MOM.
- I JUST NEED A NEW WASHER. - MAYBE SANTA WILL BRING ONE.
OH, BOY!
[ Woman ] LET'S GET RATSO. HE'LL FEEL LEFT OUT.
[ Rob ] I'LL HEAT SOME POPCORN IN THE MICROWAVE AND FILL ROBBIE'S BOTTLE.
SHE LOOKS GREAT, BY THE WAY.
YEP. EVERYTHING'S WHERE IT BELONGS.
♪ HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN ♪
♪ ON STEADY GROUND ♪
♪ SIT A BIT, SETTLE IN ♪ PRETTY.
♪ HOME SAFE AND SOUND ♪
♪ TABLETOPS AND WINDOW SHADES ♪
♪ SEEM MORE SPECIAL THEN ♪
♪ THE HOUSEHOLD HUMS WHEN FAMILY COMES ♪
♪ HOME AGAIN ♪
♪ HOME ♪
♪ AGAIN ♪♪
♪♪
♪ OH, WE'RE FLOATING WEST AND EAST ♪
♪ WE GO FLOATING FREE AND RELEASED ♪
♪ FROM THE HANDS THAT GAVE US FLIGHT ♪
♪ HANDS TOO LITTLE TO HOLD ON TIGHT ♪
♪ NOW WE FLOAT FOREVER IN AND OUT OF SIGHT ♪
♪ IT WASN'T SO MUCH THE MUSIC ♪
♪ OR THE RAIN THAT STARTED TO FALL ♪
♪ THE MIRACLE PART OF WOODSTOCK ♪
♪ WAS THAT PEACE COULD HAPPEN AT ALL ♪
♪ PEACE COULD HAPPEN AT ALL ♪
♪ HEARD THEY TRIED IT AGAIN ♪
♪ BUT ME AND MY STRING ♪
♪ FEEL YOU CAN'T RELIVE A ONETIME THING ♪
♪ SO WE'RE FLOATING FLOATING SOUTH AND NORTH ♪
♪ WE GO FLOATING FLOATING BACKWARDS AND FORTH ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THE HANDS THAT GAVE US FLIGHT ♪
♪ HANDS TOO LITTLE TO HOLD ON TIGHT ♪
♪ NOW WE FLOAT FOREVER IN AND OUT OF SIGHT ♪
♪ AT BUFFALO BILL'S WILD WEST SHOW ♪
♪ WELL, IT SURE WAS NOISY AND WILD ♪
♪ I BOBBLED ABOVE THE GRANDSTAND ♪
♪ FROM A STICKY HAND OF A CHILD ♪
♪ WHEN BILL WAVED TO THE CROWD ♪
♪ 'TWAS FINE FUN UNTIL ♪
♪ THAT SMALL HAND THAT HELD ME WAVED TO BILL ♪
♪ HE WAVED TO BILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE FLOATING FLOATING EAST AND WEST ♪
♪ IT'S LIKE WALKING WHEN YOU'RE AT REST ♪
♪ COME AND JOIN OUR ENDLESS FLIGHT ♪
♪ FROM HANDS TOO LITTLE TO HOLD ON TIGHT ♪
♪ NOW WE FLOAT FOREVER IN AND OUT OF SIGHT ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, FLOATING LA, LA, LA, LA ♪♪