（1985年）
Shawn.
尚恩！停下来
Stop.
Turn around.
转过来
Turn around. What are you hiding?
转过来 你在隐藏什么？
Did you get in a fight, Shawn?
-你跟人打架了？ -算是吧
- Kinda. - "Kinda"?
算是吧？你这么说是什么意思？ 我不是跟你说了不要打架吗？
What do you mean, "kinda"? What did I tell you about fighting?
过来 儿子
Get over here, son.
Let me take a look at that.
我看看
You really got punched.
你被揍得不轻 来 敷在眼睛上
Hold that on your eye.
All right, tell me...
-告诉我 是哪个小孩揍你？ -伊莉莎白
What's the name of this kid who hit you?
Elizabeth.
You got in a fight with a girl?
-你跟女生打架？ -其实不算打架
It wasn't really a fight. She just punched me.
-她揍了我一拳 -她为什么要揍你？
Well, why in the world would she punch you?
What... what happened?
怎么回事？
She asked me to sit next to her at lunch, and I did,
她问我午餐时能不能坐她旁边 我照做了
and then I was eating my tater tots,
我在吃薯球的的时候 她就揍了我一拳
then she just punched me.
Wait a second. Wait a second.
等等
What was she doing while you were eating your tater tots?
你在吃薯球的时候她在做什么？
I don't know. She was talking about something.
我不知道 她在说某件事情
What? What was she talking about?
她在说什么事情？
我不知道 她一直说个不停
I have no idea.
She just went on and on,
and I was concentrating on my tater tots.
我专心在吃我的薯球
Well, I'll be damned.
真想不到
Shawn, I know what happened.
尚恩 我知道怎么回事了 你经历了第一次约会
- You just had your first date. Sit. - First--
坐下 坐下来
Sit.
My first what?
-我的第一次什么？ -听我说 很明显
Look, obviously, this Elizabeth girl likes you.
这个叫伊莉莎白的女生喜欢你
That's why she invited you over to sit next to her.
所以她才邀请你坐她旁边
Then why did she sock me in the eye?
那她为什么要打我的眼睛？
因为她喜欢你 你没在听她说话
Because she likes you, and you didn't listen to her story.
Women want you to listen to them, Shawn.
女人要你聆听她们说话
女人要你留意每个小细节 要你赞美她们
They want you to pick up every small detail,
and they want you to compliment them.
It's about tuning in to people.
你要体会他人的心情 察觉他人的想法
It's about getting inside their heads and anticipating their needs,
预料到他人的需求 这也适用于生活中的各种层面
and this applies to all aspects of life--
不只是这个叫伊莉莎白的女孩 你的理发师也是
Not only this girl, Elizabeth, but... even your barber.
-但我不想跟理发师约会 -尚恩 我知道有一天
But I don't want to date the barber.
Shawn, I know that one day all of this is going to make sense to you.
你会明白这些道理的 你要相信我
You just have to believe me.
But for now,
不过现在 我要告诉你一个非常简单的原则
I'm going to leave you with one very simple rule--
Under no circumstances, ever...
无论如何
ever do you mention to a woman her age or her weight.
绝对别向女人提起她的年龄或体重
Nobody breathe. I've got it.
大家都屏住呼吸 我知道了
I've got it in grams. I've got it in minutes.
我知道公克数 也知道有几分钟了
Just give me a second here to do a little converting.
给我一点时间 我换算一下
（现在）
（毕业快乐 1986年毕业班）
（脂肪 碳水化合物）
我知道了
I got it.
37 years old.
37岁 57.73公斤
127 pounds.
That was amazing.
太厉害了 你是怎么办到的？
How did you do that?
可惜我必须承认
I have to admit, though, sadly,
体重稍微多了一些
it's just a teensy bit higher in the weight department.
You know what? That's my bad.
你知道吗？是我的错
I believe I was getting a "future reading" from next week.
我预测到下礼拜的数据了
这种事难免 我道歉
It happens. I apologize.
等等 我还看到了舞蹈用肤色丁字裤
Wait...
I'm also getting a dance belt...
-你是我的顶头上司 -和鱼网丝袜
You are my head detective.
And fishnet stockings.
But that's this guy.
不过是这家伙 这里的这个人
That's this guy here.
尚恩…
Shawn. Shawn.
-你这家伙人不错 我们爱你 -史宾塞
- You're such a good sport-- - Hey, Spencer...
Lassie-face!
-拉斯脸
I've got the perfect case for you guys.
有件案子很适合你们
I'm sorry, you're saying that you want our help?
-抱歉 你是说 你要我们帮忙？ -是
- Yeah. what's the catch? - There's no catch.
-有什么条件？ -没什么条件 这案子正合你们胃口
It's just right up your alley.
I could really use your insights on this one.
可以好好发挥你们的洞察力
Guy's waiting to give you a statement.
有个家伙等着要给你口供 在B审讯室
Interrogation Room "B."
Make me proud.
好好干
Okay...
好吧 你觉得这是怎么回事？
What does that sound like to you?
Opportunity.
一个机会
No.
不是
You think Lassiter is going to just hand us over a case?
你以为拉斯特会把案子交给我们？ 停下来 让我们仔细想想
Let's think about this for a minute.
Gus, come on.
-小葛 别扫兴了 -怎样？
We're going to roll up our sleeves,
我们要卷起袖子 大干一番
we're going to get a little bit dirty,
我们要做一些老派的警察工作
and we're going to do some old-fashioned police work.
Come on, this is like In The Heat of the Night,
拜托 这就像《恶夜追缉令》一样
我就是那部片里的卡罗奥康纳
which makes me Carroll O'Connor.
不 你是洛史泰格 也就是说 我是薜尼鲍迪
No, that means you're Rod Steiger.
That way, I'm Sidney Poitier.
You know that's right.
你说得没错
Oh! Boy...
老天
Wow.
天啊
Looks like somebody beat us to the rolling up the sleeves.
看来有人不只卷起袖子而已
- No. What? - What are you doing?
-我走了 怎样？ -你在做什么？
- This is our case. - He's naked.
-这是我们的案子 -他没穿衣服
-我们得在这里工作 -那我去外面守着
We've got to work the room.
I'm going to work it from the outside.
你给我待在里面 关上门
Work it from in here. Now, shut the door.
Mr...
你是…特克先生 对吧？
Turk, is it?
My name's Shawn Spencer.
我是尚恩史宾塞
圣塔芭芭拉警局的P探长
I'm the head "P" for the S.B.P.D.
You're the who for the what?
你说你是什么？
Don't concern yourself with formalities, Mr. Turk.
别拘泥于繁文缛节 特克先生
I'm here to take your statement, find out just what exactly happened to you.
我来这里录你的口供 了解你发生了什么事
Well, I don't really remember much.
-我记得的不多 -很有趣…
Funny...
It says here you told the desk sergeant
上面写着你跟值班员警说
你全身一丝不挂在荒郊野外醒来 光着屁股
you woke up naked in a field with your ass hanging out.
Yeah, that's right.
对 没错
但我不记得他们的样子了
I mean, I don't remember exactly what they look like.
You know, it's all really confusing for me right now.
我现在觉得脑袋一片混乱
你说的“他们”是谁？
When you say "they," who are you referring to?
The aliens.
外星人
See?
看吧？
Right, aliens. Here it is.
对 外星人
在这里 第二页 我看到了
Page two. Got it.
How would you describe these aliens, Mr. Turk?
你会怎么描述这些外星人？
Would you say they were small? Would you say they were green?
是绿色的吗？身材矮小？
I-I don't really recall right now.
我真的记不得了
I've got this headache, and...
我头很痛 而且…
Who is that person over there?
那个人是谁？他让我很不自在
Because he's really making me uncomfortable.
I'm making you uncomfortable right now?
我让你觉得不自在？
Dude, is there any reason why you're not wearing clothes now?
可以告诉我 你现在为什么不穿衣服吗？
我想我可能被绑架了 好吗？
Hey, I think I might have been abducted, all right?
I believe I might've been experimented on,
我可能被拿去做实验了
我绝不会碰这些衣服破坏证据的
so there's no way I'm going to touch these clothes and compromise evidence!
好了 特克先生
Okay, okay, Mr. Turk.
Please, try to gain control of your considerable person.
请控制一下自己的情绪
Why don't you cover up with a towel.
你用毛巾围一下吧？
That's why it's there.
我们正是为此才准备了毛巾 希望能包得住全部
One size fits all... I hope.
All right.
好吧 我会披上毛巾 不过首先…
I'll cover up with the towel, but first...
Does somebody want to check me for scars?
有人要来检查一下 我身上有没有伤疤吗？
Oh, good lord!
我的老天爷啊
（片名：灵异妙探）
Are you really willing to just dismiss the idea
你可不可以不要老是想着 其他星球上有生命？
that there's life on other planets?
（灵异妙探侦探社 私人灵异妙探）
This is what I've got.
我所观察到的是 他的确被拖了出去
I know he was dragged out there.
除此之外 没有受到攻击的迹象 身上的东西都还在 除了尴尬地
Otherwise, no sign of assault, nothing taken...
Aside from the embarrassment of waking up naked in a field,
在荒郊野外裸体醒过来 我们没有任何依据
we've got nothing to hang our hats on.
I guess technically we could have hung our hats on it.
-我想我们可以相信… -尚恩
- Shawn. - Sorry.
-抱歉
Look, if it's not the alien thing,
听着 如果不是外星人
你要怎么解释失忆、精神错乱 还有他看到的绿色小人？
then how do you explain the memory loss, the confusion,
the fact that he saw a little green man?
-是幻觉 -不是
- Hallucinations. - No.
怎样？老兄 你是这方面的专家
What? Dude, you're the expert here.
一定有某种药品
There's got to be some drug that would cause a combination
能同时导致这三种症状
of those three things. Think. Drugs!
动动脑 药品
- Oh, you're asking me? - Sure.
-你是在问我吗？ -当然
Well... let me see.
我想想
Off the top of my head,
我想到的有 任何抗忧郁药物、曲马多
any SSRI's, tramadol, bupropion, proton pump inhibitors...
安非他酮、氢离子泵阻断剂
-我指的就是这些药 谢谢你 -文拉法辛、力必平膜衣锭
That's what I'm talking about. Thank you.
Venlafaxine, ropinirole...
That's good work, buddy.
-真厉害 兄弟 -B肾上腺素受体促效剂
B-adrenoreceptor antagonists...
Okay, gold star for Gus.
小葛好棒棒
天使尘、氯胺酮、蟾蜍毒色胺
Phencyclidine, ketamine, bufotenine...
-你不打算停下来是不是？ -我已经说过文拉法辛了吗？
You're not going to stop, are you?
Did I already say venlafaxine?
-我怎么知道 -慢着 等一下
There's no way to be sure.
Wait a second.
Didn't he say something to you about...
他不是说有闻到薰衣草的味道吗？
About smelling lavender?
他说在失去意识前 他记得有股薰衣草的味道
He said right before he blacked out,
he remembered the strong scent of lavender
and seeing, uh... barbed wire.
还看到铁丝网
-对 -等一下
- Right. - Wait a second.
Gus, that's not a hallucination. That's a location.
小葛 那不是幻觉 那是实际存在的地点
- That's what I'm saying. - And I know exactly where it is.
-我就是这个意思！ -我知道在哪里
Dude, I've driven by this place at least twice.
老兄 我至少开车经过这里两次了
The question is, what are the cops doing here?
问题是 警察在这里做什么？
发现另外一名白人男性 30岁出头 可能有伤风化的暴露 警官在现场
Johnny.
天啊
Oh.
Look, I saw the picture of that Turk guy in the paper.
我在报纸上看过那个特克的照片
Now it's me in a field naked?
现在换成我全身光溜溜在郊外 头很痛 你自己想一想
Headache? You do the math.
你还记得看到什么不寻常的东西吗？
Do you remember seeing anything out of the ordinary?
Uh...
我不太记得了
I don't remember much at all.
你就这样一丝不挂地在郊外醒来？
So you just woke up in a field wearing nothing but your birthday suit.
听着 我已经跟你说是这样了
Look, I told you yes already.
Are you going to give me a hard time?
你这是要为难我吗？我现在有点崩溃
'Cause I'm a little freaked out as it is.
可以给我大条一点的毛巾吗？ 这是洗脸毛巾的大小
And can somebody get me a bigger towel?
This thing is like the size of a wash cloth.
What are you, some kind of pervert?
-搞什么 你是变态吗？ -饶了他吧 他只是在工作罢了
Cut him some slack. He's just doing his job.
你以为他拍你的小弟弟会开心吗？
You think he gets his jollies taking pictures of your ding-dong?
-拉斯 -你们在这里做什么？
- Lassie! - What are you guys doing here?
This is my case. You gave it to me, remember?
这是我的案子 你把案子交给我了 记得吗？
Look, it's a copycat, okay?
听着 这家伙是模仿犯 明白吗？
He saw Turk's picture in the paper.
他在报纸上看到特克的照片 他在获取关注
He's looking for attention.
所以他一早醒来 在报纸里看到特克的裸体照
So he wakes up and sees Turk in the paper, naked, humiliated,
既羞愧 又丢脸
the butt of jokes at the water cooler,
便心想 “我要怎么让自己也变成这样？”
and says, "Hmm. How can I make this work for myself?" What?
-有可能吗？ -况且 这里真的引人发痒
Plus, it's really itchy out here.
等你们拿到犯罪学位后再打给我吧
When you get your master's degree in criminology,
then you can call me.
In the meantime,
同时 我车里有吃到一半的卷饼
I've got a half-eaten enchirito in my car.
-好吧 该你出马了 -什么？
All right, here we go. You're up.
- What? - Do it.
-去啊 老兄 -我不去
- I'm not doing that. - Dude...
I took the fat guy in the police station.
-那胖子是我问话的 -我不去
I'm not doing that.
-这家伙好多了 我们是搭档 -我不干 尚恩
- This is a much better-- - I'm not doing that.
We're partners. Gus!
小葛
这个案子跟日光浴沙龙有什么关系？
What does this case have to do with a tanning salon?
现在是圣塔芭芭拉的冬天
It's the middle of winter in Santa Barbara.
那些家伙没有晒痕 看起来跟姜饼人没两样
Those dudes looked like gingerbread men, without tan lines.
他们晒得很不自然
They fake and they bake.
尚恩 你对这些裸男 到底观察得多细微？
Shawn, exactly how closely did you look at these naked guys?
太细微了
Too close.
大部分的时候 我的超级观察能力算是一种天赋
My heightened observational skills are considered a gift by most,
but I'm here to tell you it can be a burden.
但我告诉你 这也会成为一种负担
你怎么知道是这里？
How do you know it's this place?
Keiser didn't have any streaks on his buttocks, okay?
凯瑟的屁股上没有任何条纹
代表他是透过防晒 只有这家店能办到
That screams the insta-tan process,
and this is the only place that does that.
是
Right.
Plus, they both live within a mile and a half of this joint.
况且 他们俩住的地方 都距离这间店里不到2.4公里
了解
Uh-huh.
I can't ring this. Hello!
我不能摇这个铃 哈喽？有人在吗？
Hello!
Look, I'm going to snoop around, okay?
我去四处看看 好吗？
You find out if Turk or Keiser were here,
你去查查特克或凯瑟是否来过这里 有的话 是什么时候来的？
and if so, when.
尚恩 我没办法
Oh, Shawn, Shawn.
This is not going to work.
我有自己的事情要做
Dude, I've got to do my thing. I've got to mix it up nice.
-我得好好混进去 -但是…
- But-- - You always complain
你总是抱怨你都没机会问话
you don't get to do the questiony part.
问话机会来了 小葛
Questiony part... Gus.
对 你忘了…
Right, but... You're forgetting something--
Oh. May I help you?
需要什么协助吗？
Yes.
是的 我是来这里晒日光浴的
I'm here for a tanning appointment.
For yourself?
-你要晒吗？ -对 防晒日光浴
Yes, for the... insta-tan process.
I would like that.
我要做那个
- But... - What?
但是…
-怎样？ -你…
- Well, you're... - Yes.
请说
Uh, I don't understand.
我不明白
Okay, look, screw it. I can't do it.
算了 管他的 我办不到
你见过这两个人吗？ 弗雷德特克或菲利普凯瑟？
Have you seen either of these two guys here before?
Fred Turk or Philip Keiser?
Shawn. Shawn.
尚恩
Okay, both Turk and Keiser not only have been here,
特克和凯瑟不只来过这里 他们还是常客
but they're regulars.
他说 通常都是单身汉 会试图维持他们的古铜肤色
He says it's always the single guys who try to keep up with their tans.
Single guys. Yeah.
单身汉？是啊
Maybe that's it. Maybe some woman is targeting singles at the salon.
或许就是这个 或许有女人以沙龙的单身汉为目标
The question is, what kind of a loser thinks getting a tan
问题是 是什么样的没用家伙会以为 晒黑可以帮助他把到女人？
is going to help him score a woman?
Dad?
爸？
爸 你在这里做什么？
Dad, what are you doing here?
我才想问 你才在这里做什么？
The real question is, what are you doing here?
Well, George Hamilton, we're on a case...
乔治汉米顿 我们在这里办案
也许你没在报纸上看到 野外裸男的照片
Or maybe you missed the pictures
of the guys in the paper in the fields...
Yes, of course I saw the nudists.
我有看到 在荒郊野外的裸男 认为自己被外星人绑架了
Guy in the field thinks he was abducted by aliens.
Idiot. What does that have to do with this place?
蠢蛋 那件事跟这里有什么关系？
他们俩都是常客
Well, they're both regulars here.
They both happen to be single, so this could be a stalking case.
他们俩恰好都是单身 所以这可能是跟踪案
Wait a second. Your dad is single, and he comes here all the time.
慢着 你爸单身 而且他常来这里
大家都会来这里
Everybody comes here.
- What is that? - What?
-那是什么？ -什么？
Exfoliating scrub... with pumice.
去角质磨砂膏搭配浮石
无所谓 我只知道要替船上漆时 我不希望产生条纹
Whatever, Shawn. All I know is when I varnish my boat
and I don't want it to streak,
I sand off a layer first. Same thing goes with tanning.
我会先磨掉一层 晒日光浴也是一样的道理
这是我这辈子听过最不舒服的比喻了
That is the single most disturbing analogy
I have ever heard in my entire life.
- Where are they? - Who?
-他们在哪？ -你说谁？
《酷男的异想世界》里的人 我知道他们在这里
The Queer Eye guys.
I know they're here somewhere. Gus, what are their names?
-小葛 他们叫什么名字？ -我怎么会知道 尚恩？
How am I supposed to know?
Carson and Jai...
卡森和杰
-还有那个眼镜仔 没错 -对 料理鱼那个
- And the guy with the glasses. - Who cooks a fish...
Right.
尚恩 你知道自己的问题出在哪吗？
Shawn, you know what your real problem is?
You got yourself another case,
你又接到了一个案子 你还是一如往常地目光短浅
and, as usual, you're short-sighted.
You think it's all impressive,
你觉得这个案子很离奇
因为你看到有几个裸男出现在野外
'cause you see a couple of nude guys in a field,
就把目光放在他们身上 这样不够
you put a fix on 'em here. Well, it's not enough.
This is what we know--
我们所知道的是 这两个人都想吸引某人注意
Both these guys are trying to impress someone,
which means a woman was involved,
代表有个女人牵涉其中
这个女人都曾跟他们到过郊外
and that same woman was with them in the field.
尚恩在野外看到女鞋的鞋带
Shawn saw a woman's shoe strap in the field.
How or why she connects to them, I just...
我还不知道他们之间有什么关系 原因是什么
I just don't know yet.
Well, you're not looking close enough.
你观察得还不够仔细
Believe me, I've looked just about as close as I can bear.
相信我 我观察得够仔细了
在外星人这件事上我同意你的看法
I'm with you on the aliens thing.
他们在这里 他们把我爸换成了荷西艾贝
They're here, and they've swapped out my father
with Jose Eber.
我觉得你爸可能是对的 我们应该把特克
I think your Dad might be right.
I think we should get Turk and Keiser in the same room
和凯瑟找来 共处一室 问他们一些问题
and actually ask them some questions.
好 就这么做
Fine. Let's do it.
原则是大家都要穿好裤子 没有例外
The rule is "all slacks, all the time, no exceptions."
知道了 我今年看的裸男已经够多了
I hear that.
I've reached my naked man quota for the year.
Hello?
你好？
We'll be there.
我们马上到
Step inside, guys.
踏进来吧 你们的案子正式立案了
Your case just became legitimate.
Consider yourself hired.
你们被雇用了 我需要答案 而且要迅速
I need answers, and I need them quick.
Well, I do have something, chief. I'm getting...
我的确感应到了 局长 我感应到了…
I'm getting skin pigment.
我感觉到了皮肤颜料
Uh... bronzed, glistening...
古铜色 闪闪发亮…
猛男般的皮肤颜料
Adonis-like skin pigment.
你带我走进现场 让我问一个问题
You lead me through this field, you let me ask one question,
我保证肯定跟喷雾防晒有关
I guarantee it's going to come down to spray tanning.
Well, this guy's never seen the inside of a tanning salon.
这家伙从没去过日光浴沙龙
我觉得他从没见过阳光
I don't think he ever saw the sun.
你们有24个小时 有消息联络我
You've got 24 hours. Call me with something.
Grab a CSI, verify time of death.
派犯罪现场调查小组的人来 证实死亡时间
看来这些模仿作案手法的人 都一个一个冒出来了
Looks like we might have to open a kennel
for all these copycats.
我们又回到原点了
Well, back to square one.
I don't know, Shawn. Maybe square one is the answer.
我不知道 尚恩
或许原点就是答案
Maybe this is something beyond our comprehension,
或许这是超出我们理解范围的事 超自然的事情
something otherworldly.
I hear what you're saying. Do me a favor.
我懂你的意思 帮我个忙
Let go of the alien angle.
-什么事？ -别再紧抓着外星人论点了
We need something solid, Gus.
我们要可靠的证据 小葛 实在的东西 你听见警长说的话了
Something... Something concrete. You heard the chief.
Dude...
老兄 你喜欢小精灵吗？
How do you feel about leprechauns?
哈喽 我的朋友 我是马文
Oh, well, hello, me buckos.
I'm Marvin. Welcome to Shenanigans,
欢迎来到恶作剧餐厅 这里有世界闻名的巧言石法士达
home of the world-famous blarney stone fajitas.
Hello, Marvin.
你好 马文
We're here to speak with the leprechaun.
-我们是来找小精灵说话的 -真好笑 别说了
Ha, ha. Very funny. Please stop.
我的肚子笑得痛死了
My tummy's aching from laughing so hard.
Do you guys want a table or what?
你们要用餐吗？
老兄 给我一些道具 他戴着一顶有带扣的帽子
Dude, give me some props.
He's got a hat with a buckle on it.
-全身都是绿色的 -什么？他不是小妖精
Everything is green.
What? He's not a leprechaun.
Will you do me a favor?
能帮我个忙吗？
In your funny accent, will you say, "magically delicious"?
你能用你那有趣口音说说 “神奇美味”吗？
Is that the world-famous clover stamp?
那是世界知名的幸运草印章吗？
That's the one.
-没错 -你可以在我老友手腕上盖个章吗？
Will you stamp my buddy's wrist?
Whatever floats your boat, man.
悉听尊便 先生
这是晚间活动用的 不过白天当然也可以盖
It's for our nighttime events there,
but hey, you can have it in the daytime, too.
什么晚间活动？
- What nighttime events? - We have speed dating here.
我们这里有举办快速约会
Speed dating?
-快速约会？ -对
别笑 这是我们最受欢迎的活动了
Don't laugh. It's actually one of our most popular events.
男士们走进来 报个名 缴纳一百美金
Guys come in here, sign up, they put down 100 bucks,
就可以在六分钟的迷你约会中 和各式各样的人认识
and they get fixed up with all sorts of people
on little six-minute mini-dates.
-你刚是说一百美金吗？ -一百美金
Did you say 100 bucks?
How about 50 bucks for three-minute dates?
那50美金三分钟如何？
25美金一分半钟
25 bucks for a minute and a half?
我付你十美金 你把我们介绍给某人15秒
I float you a ten spot, you introduce us to somebody for 15 seconds.
How about you guys either get a table
你们如果不用餐 恐怕我得请你们离开了
or I'm going to have to ask you to leave the podium.
How about "magically delicious"? Will you say "magically delicious"?
那“神奇美味”呢？ 你会说“神奇美味”吗？
我不会说 但你再不滚出这里我就要报警了
No, but I can say "police" if you don't get your butts out of here.
哈喽 你好 我是马文 欢迎来到恶作剧餐厅
Hello there! I'm Marvin.
Welcome to Shenanigans.
Home of the world-famous blarney stone fajitas.
这里有世界闻名的巧言石法士达
Yeah, I tried the speed-dating thing a couple of times.
我试过几次快速约会
I just didn't think it had anything to do with the case,
我不认为那跟这起案子有什么关系
and I was a little embarrassed about it.
而且说起来我还觉得有点尴尬
Wow, you paid 100 bucks?
是喔
你付了一百美金？
Mr. Turk...
特克先生 我们认为这件事 跟本案有很大的关联 明白吗？
we feel it has everything to do with the case, all right?
菲利普凯瑟和那名死者都有参加
Both Phil Keiser and the guy who turned up dead
attended these speed-dating events.
快速约会活动
（三点整）
Do you remember anything strange happening there,
你还记得有发生什么怪事
或遇到任何怪人吗？
or meeting anyone odd?
The only odd thing was that the ladies didn't take to me
唯一的怪事是 女士们对我的态度跟以前不一样了
like they usually do.
That's beyond odd.
何止奇怪 我想像不出原因为何 弗雷德
I can't imagine why, Fred.
Here's the thing, though--
不过事情是这样的
Other strange things have been happening to me
自从我参加那个活动后 怪事就开始发生在我身上
ever since I was at the event.
-像是什么事情？ -我最近在找一份工作
Like what?
Well, I applied for a job recently.
我是那份工作的最佳人选
I was a perfect candidate.
我接受了好几场面试 突然间 在最终面试过后
I had several interviews, and then suddenly, after the final one...
I was rejected.
我就被拒绝了
Let me ask you a question, Freddy,
我问你个问题 弗雷德 老实告诉我
and please be honest.
Were you on time for these interviews?
-你面试时有准时到吗？ -有 问这个做什么？
Yes. Why do you ask?
I have no reason.
不为什么
I think there's a woman involved here who had it out for these guys.
我认为有个女人牵涉其中 她针对这些男人下手
We need to get a first-hand look at this speed-dating phenomenon.
我们必须要亲身体验看看 这个快速约会
Not for 100 bucks, we don't.
-要花一百美金 我们不去 -小葛 拜托 交给我
Gus, please. Leave it to me.
让我搞清楚
Let me get this straight.
There is a dead body and a murderer loose in our city,
有桩命案发生了 凶手还在城里逍遥法外
and you want the Santa Barbara Police Department
你居然要圣塔芭芭拉警局
-帮你出钱 好让你去约会？ -对 没错
to pay for you to go on dates?
Yes, that's correct.
I mean, I suppose we could split it if we had to.
如果有必要我们可以分摊费用
What's that called? Going... Going Deutsch?
那叫什么？各…服各的？
We'll go Deutsch.
各服各的
我不会出钱让你去约会的 史宾塞先生
I am not paying for your dating services, Mr. Spencer.
听我说 计划如下 局长
Look, here's the catch, chief--
I'm going to be reading these people, psychically,
我要用通灵的方式去了解他们
and I don't need six minutes.
我不需要六分钟
Give me 40 seconds with these people,
让我跟这些人相处40秒
我就有办法告诉妳 他们是否跟谋杀案有任何关系
I'll be able to tell you if they had anything to do with the murder,
你知道吗？小葛和我
and you know what?
Gus and I, we really did try to negotiate
我们设法跟他们交涉过
some sort of partial usage rate,
部分付费的事
但被那只小精灵拒绝了
but we got shut down by that leprechaun--
史宾塞先生 够了
Mr. Spencer, enough.
等等 我感觉到别的东西了
Wait.
I'm getting something else.
It's a woman... in sexy high-heeled strappy shoes.
是名女性，穿着性感的饰带高跟鞋
她大约158公分高
She's roughly 5'2"...
Jules, may I please have a pen and something to write on?
茱儿 能不能给我一支笔 还有可以写东西的纸？
Oh.
"To Lassie...
“给拉斯
On the alpine highway of life,
在人生的高山道路上
you are my all-weather tires.
你是我的全天候轮胎
抱抱亲亲 尚恩”
H&K's, Shawn." What the hell is this?
-这什么鬼东西？ -抱抱亲亲是指拥抱及亲吻
"H&K" stands for "Hugs and Kisses."
Not that part. This part.
不是那部分 是这部分
这是胎纹
It's a tire pattern.
进系统里查查 我们就会知道她开的是什么车
Run it through the system, and we'll know what kind of car she drives.
好吧 我让你去试试 但你不能单独去
Okay, I'll give you a shot at this,
but you're not going alone.
O'Hara, I want you to go along with these guys undercover,
奥哈拉 我要你跟他们一起去 以卧底行事
working things from the other side.
从另一个方面切入
看看能否从这些女人身上 打听到什么资讯
See if you can sift any information from these women.
Will do.
-遵命 -局长 我认为你这个做法
Chief, I think that's the best idea you've ever had.
实在太英明了
Shawn, I am so glad you're on board.
尚恩 我很高兴有你加入
拉斯特警探 你也要一起行动
Detective Lassiter, I'm going to need you too.
We don't know what this woman's type is,
我们不知道这个女人 喜欢什么类型的
-况且 此案现在由你主导 -局长 恕我直言
and besides, you're now leading the case.
Yeah, you know, chief, with all due respect,
我忙着从另外一个角度 处理这件案子
I'm really pretty busy working this case from another angle.
我查看了毒物报告
I mean, I ran the toxicology reports,
我发现所有的受害者身上 都有测出微量的
and I found that all three victims
tested positive for trace amounts of the street drug G.H.B.,
街头毒品液态快乐丸
那名死者本来就有心脏问题
but our dead guy had a pre-existing heart condition,
所以模式有迹可循
so there was a pattern.
I think the murder was accidental.
-我认为死亡是个意外 -我喜欢那道胎痕
And I like that track.
现在 追着这条线索去参加快速约会
Now, follow it up
by going to the speed-dating thing.
It's just a date, Lassiter.
只是约会罢了 拉斯特
You do know how to conduct yourself on a date, don't you?
你应该有这方面的经验吧？
我去查了你的胎纹 谢谢
Okay, I checked out your tread pattern.
这是高性能轮胎 2002年后生产的
It's a high-performance tire manufactured after 2002,
so we're looking for a woman
我们要寻找的女性
开的车是新型跑车 可能是美国制的
who drives a late-model sports car,
probably American-made.
And 5'2" and likes strappy heels.
-158公分高 喜欢饰带高跟鞋 -好 我有问题
Check. Question-- is that what you're wearing?
你要穿这件吗？
What's wrong with what I'm wearing? I always wear this.
这件有什么问题？我总是穿这件
没错 拉斯 你看起来像个警察
Exactly. Lassie, you look like a cop.
拜托 老兄
Now, come on, man--
Is that your holster?
-那是你的手枪皮套吗？ -当然是啊
Of course it is.
你是来参加快速约会的 不是来这里对人开枪的
You're here to speed-date, man,
not shoot somebody.
You got to loosen up. Come on.
你得放松一点 来 把领带拿掉
Take off the tie.
我才不要听从你的打扮建议
I'm not taking fashion tips from you.
你得露出胸毛
You need to show some chest hair.
Chicks dig the sternum bush.
女人就爱胸毛
茱儿 你说女人是不是爱胸毛
Jules, back me up on the sternum bush.
I'm going to go, see what these women have to say before this thing starts.
活动开始前我去找这些女人聊聊
Bye, Jules.
-再见 茱儿 -好了 来吧 赛门考威尔
All right, come on. Let's go Simon Cowell.
你万事俱备 只欠东风了 很好
You got the salt and pepper, man. It's nice.
我不会因为你叫我这么做 就把领带拿下来的
I am not taking off my tie just because you tell me to.
好吧 随便你
Fine. Suit yourself.
Ladies and gentlemen...
先生女士们
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming.
先生女士们 感谢各位前来
For those of you who are new,
第一次来的朋友们 我会解释活动进行方式
I will explain how this works, okay?
好吗？
You will pick a numbered table to begin your first date.
你们要选个桌号 开始进行第一轮约会
每隔六分钟 你们会听到…
Every six minutes, you will hear...
这代表你们的约会时间结束
That will indicate the end of your time together,
然后就开始下一轮约会
and your next date will begin.
Now, I know six minutes
我知道六分钟不足以认识对方
is not a long time to get to know someone.
因此我和其他工作人员
That's why myself and the other staff
会用你们填写的问卷来进行配对
will use the questionnaires you filled out to match you up.
好吗？
Okay?
Love is in the air. I can smell it.
空气中弥漫着爱情 我闻到了
I smell cabbage.
我只闻到卷心菜的味道
开始约会吧
Let the dating begin!
Shawn.
尚恩 这是个好名字
That's a nice name.
是啊 还行吧
Yeah, it's okay. It's okay.
My last name is...
我姓霍芬因德贺宁
Ulfeninderheinie.
Yeah, it's been a tough life.
是啊 我这辈子过得很辛苦
Kids can be cruel.
辛苦你了
-小朋友是很残忍的 -是啊
Yeah.
你可以去改名
You know, you could probably change that.
What's your mom's maiden name?
你妈姓什么？
Buzzteets.
巴兹提次
Wow.
是吗
Yeah.
"Teets" as in--
提次 是…
没错 我的祖先都是农夫
Yeah, yeah.
All my ancestry were farmers.
我是在农场长大的
Oh! Hey, I was raised on a farm.
不会吧
No kiddin'.
我养了一只很可爱的山羊 它叫凯西
I had this most adorable little pet goat named Cassie.
- Goat... - Yeah.
-山羊？ -是的
你有养过宠物吗？
Did you ever have any pets growing up?
What were their names?
它们叫什么名字？
你最喜欢什么颜色？
Oh, what's your favorite color?
换桌子
Move along.
I think these people might have more luck dating
我觉得如果他们问的问题 更有趣一点
if they asked more interesting questions.
-也许会更容易找到约会对象 -我只希望不要搞砸就好
I just hope I don't get pile-driven.
卡尔顿 我希望这样不会太冒昧
Carlton, I hope this isn't too forward of me,
不过你的眼睛很迷人
but you have kind eyes.
Thank you.
-谢谢你 -这太不可思议了
- This is uncanny. - I know!
我知道 天啊 我从来没遇过 能在这些事情上产生共鸣的人
God, you know, I never meet anyone I connect with at these things.
That's why I didn't even bother dressing up.
所以我才懒得打扮正式
-我有点放弃了 -我觉得你看起来很棒
I mean, I've given up a little.
I think you look great.
Thank you.
谢谢
So... what kind of car do you drive?
那么 你开哪种车？
Excuse me?
-你说什么？ -你开的是跑车吗？
You drive a sports car?
Mustang, maybe? 2003?
也许是野马？2003年款的？
That's kind of a shallow question, isn't it?
这个问题很肤浅 不是吗？
Do you like hanging out in fields?
你喜欢去荒郊野外吗？
Okay, you know what? I think this date's over.
我告诉你 这场约会到此为止
No, I've got three minutes left.
不 我还剩下三分钟 你18号晚上人在哪？
Where were you on the night of the 18th?
You know, normally, I would wear a dress.
通常我会穿裙子
And heels?
-还有高跟鞋？ -对 可能吧
Uh, yeah, I guess. Maybe.
Like... open-toed strappy ones?
露出脚趾的饰带高跟鞋？
- What? Huh? - Huh?
-什么？你说什么？ -是吗？
Is that what you have in your closet?
你衣橱里是不是都放这种鞋？
A lot of high-heeled shoes?
很多高跟鞋？
Do you have a foot fetish?
你有恋足癖吗？
No!
我没有
看看我们 两个小孩居然在约会？
Look at us.
A couple of kids on a proper date, huh?
You got some goosebumps?
你起鸡皮疙瘩了吗？
Shawn, this isn't a date. It's work.
尚恩 这不是约会 这是工作
你说得对 但你还是有六分钟的时间
You're absolutely right, but hey...
You've still got six minutes to ask me anything you want.
可以问我任何你想问的事
Mm-hmm? So, what are you dying to know
你想知道什么？你很想知道
关于尚恩史宾塞的什么事？ 关于这个男人的事 男人
about Shawn Spencer, the man? The man?
奇怪的是 我没有什么很想知道的事情
Oddly enough, I don't think I have anything I'm dying to know.
Okay, Jules, don't lie,
好了 茱儿 不要说谎 说谎是不适当的
because lying is unbecoming.
I'll go first.
我先开始
You, me, Burgess Meredith,
你、我、布吉斯梅迪斯
休姆克罗宁、尼普西罗素 同在一个荒岛上
Hume Cronyn, Nipsey Russell, deserted island...
Who are you going to sleep with?
-你要跟谁睡？ -等等 所以是你或一堆死人？
So it's you or a bunch of dead guys?
好吧 再加上史卡特曼克洛瑟斯
Fair. I'll give you Scatman Crothers.
Dead.
-死了 -菲利普威尔森
- Flip Wilson? - Also dead.
-也死了 -唐纳普莱森斯
- Donald Pleasence. - None of the above.
-都不要 -都不要？
None of the above? Are you kidding me? You've got--
-茱儿 你在跟我开玩笑吗？ -你有…
You're going to miss me, aren't you?
你会想我的 对不对？一点点
Little bit.
Have fun on your next date.
好好享受下一轮约会 但我要你想想这个问题 好吗？
But I want you to think about that, okay?
要是真的发生的话
Like, if that really happened.
再见 尚恩
Bye, Shawn.
Go on.
开口吧 跟她说她很漂亮
Tell her she looks pretty.
Yeah, no can do.
我没办法
结束了 大家
That's it, people!
你们应该已经完成每一轮约会
You should have completed all your dates.
请在卡片上打好分数 交至前面的吧台
Please score your cards and check up front at the bar,
and we will also tell you who you match from your questionnaires.
我们也会告诉你们从问卷上看来 谁和你最般配
Okay?
好吗？
I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
-约会结束了 -好 我知道
Date's over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah...
自从看了《双面女郎》后 我就不跟穿高跟鞋的女孩约会了
I just haven't been a high heel guy since Single White Female--
我…
Yeah.
Thank you.
谢谢
Dude, I think that Darcy girl might be the one.
老兄
我觉得可能是妲西
她的身高符合 她开的车是2004年的全美
She's the right height, she drives an '04 Trans Am,
而且她只穿高跟鞋
and she wears nothing but heels.
How did you find out about the heels?
你怎么知道她只穿高跟鞋？
而且她也是药厂业务 跟你一样
And she works in pharmaceutical sales, just like you.
她有办法取得液态快乐丸吗？
Now, would she have access to that G.H.B. stuff?
她肯定有办法取得药品自己合成
She certainly would've had access to the drugs to synthesize her own.
That's sweet. Dude, you got to ask her out.
太好了 老兄 你一定要约她出来
什么？跟有可能是凶手的人约会？
What, and go out with a possible murderer?
你疯了 我才不要那么做
You must be out of your mind. I'm not doing that.
我得观察她约会的样子 我得看到她行动
Gus, I got to see her in action.
I got to look, I got to listen, I got to feel!
我得看 我得听 我得感觉
Shawn, if we think it's her, let's tell Lassiter and Juliet,
尚恩 如果我们认为是她 就告诉拉斯特和茱丽叶
叫他们把她抓起来
and get them to bring her in.
你明知道透露我们的想法会怎样
You see what happens when we blurt out our theories?
-我们在日光浴沙龙那里完全扑了空 -那好 你跟她出去
We totally whiffed on the tanning salon.
Fine, you go out with her, then.
我也想 但她的配对对象是你
I would, but she matched up with you.
给她甜头 你要给她尝点甜头
Oh, give her the sweetness.
Dude, you got to give her the sweetness.
This...
这是快速约会史上头一遭
is a speed dating first...
You and you are a 100% match
从你们的个人问卷上来看 你们俩是天造地设的一对
from your personality questionnaires.
I smell love.
我闻到爱的味道了 快聊吧
Go on. Come on.
-我去喝一杯 -我去厕所
- I need a drink. - I got to pee.
听着 我不知道该对她说些什么
Look, I don't know what to say to her.
我在来的路上就把能聊的都聊完了
I ran out of topics on the way over here.
况且 她一直想摸我的头 搞什么？
Plus, she keeps wanting to rub my head.
What's up with that?
小葛 大家都想摸你的头
Everybody wants to rub your head.
听我说 你表现很好 知道吗？ 来 给你
Look, you're doing fine.
Okay? Here, here.
Here's a list of conversation topics, basic starters.
这是聊天话题的清单 基本话题
你拿好球 走过去 我就在你后面
You got your ball.
Head on over there. I'm right behind you.
"You're stranded on a deserted island
“你被困在荒岛上 你必须要繁衍下一代”
and you have to procreate the species."
真的？
Really?
This is gold.
这题是经典 我给你的是经典
I give you gold.
太好了！
很厉害
尚恩？
Shawn?
Detective O'Hara.
-奥哈拉警探 -尚恩 你在这里做什么？
Shawn, what are you doing here?
打保龄球 在高级球道
Bowling. At a high level.
自己一个人 在礼拜六的晚上？
By yourself? On a Saturday night?
我有参赛 半职业的
I'm in a league. Semi-pro.
I could've gone pro, but I made a choice.
我可以去职业级的 但我选择了这个
我一周练习14到15个小时
I like to get 14, 15 hours of practice in...
A week.
不得了
Wow.
我都不知道你如此热衷于保龄球
I had no idea you were so serious about bowling.
我很热衷的…
Quite serious, quite serious.
事实上 乐高今年想要赞助我
Lego wants to sponsor me this year.
我的天啊 这太棒了
Oh, my god. That's great.
他们还想让我穿乐高做的鞋
They also want me to wear shoes made out of legos...
so I'm torn.
我很挣扎
Okay.
我不想打扰你练习
Well, I don't want to interrupt your practicing.
对 我应该回去练习了
Yeah, yeah, I should get back. I'm...
我不是来这里鬼混的
I'm really not here to mess around.
我的天啊 我真是太无礼了
Oh, my God. I am so rude.
凯尔 这是尚恩 尚恩 这是凯尔
Uh, Kyle, Shawn.
Shawn, Kyle.
我用这只手打保龄球 换左手
Oh, it's my bowling hand.
There you go.
尚恩为警局效命
Uh, Shawn works for the police department.
He's a psychic.
他是灵媒
Oh, cool. You're psychic.
真酷 灵媒
Nice.
不错 你能预测我的未来吗？
Can you...
Can you tell me anything about my future?
凯尔 拜托 不是这样运作的
Oh, Kyle, please.
That's not really how it works.
不过我有感应到些什么 模模糊糊的 不过…
Though I am... I am getting something.
It's... It's hazy,
but I'm sensing that you're going to face a lot of...
我感应到你会面临很多…拒绝
Hmm.
Rejection.
Work-wise, or...
-工作方面吗？ -不是 不是工作方面
No. No.
Not work-wise.
不是工作方面
Not work-wise.
我要走了
You know what? I'm going to go.
你们继续忙你们的
You kids get back to doing your thing.
She bowled, and you bowled,
她打一球 你打一球 她再打一球 再换你打
and she bowled, and then you bowled,
而且你衣服还扎得好好的 太好了 完美
and you've got the tight tuck and it's sweet. It's perfect.
再见 茱儿
See you, Jules.
好了 好了
Hold on a second. I'll be right back.
等一下 我马上回来
-好吗？ -好
- Okay? - Okay.
Where the hell have you been?
慢着 你跑去哪了？
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
抱歉 我遇到认识的人了 你怎么样？还顺利吗？
I ran into somebody. How you doing? You okay?
太顺利了 她想要回我家
Too okay. She wants to go back to my place.
Oh, this is great.
那太好了
我们可以得到我们所需的一切资讯
We'll get all the information we need there.
不 问题是 我告诉她我住在海边
No, the problem is I told her I live at the beach.
你为什么要这样说？
Why would you tell her that?
我不知道 我那时想让她印象深刻
I don't know. I was trying to impress her at the time.
我根本没想到会跟她约会 尚恩
I didn't realize I was going to be dating her, Shawn.
好 我知道了
Okay, okay, okay.
好 让我想想
Let me think.
Dude...
老兄 有办法了 你可以带她去我爸家
I got it. You take her to My dad's place.
This is perfect.
这很完美 听着 只要提早告诉我
Give me a head start.
我会去准备 收拾好一切 慢慢开 好吗？我们可以办到的
I'll prep. I'll cover everything.
Just drive slow, okay? We can do this.
好吧 等下见
All right.
-尚恩… -听我说 爸
Just hear me out. Hear me out.
听我说 听着 这对我们来说可能很有趣
This might actually be fun for us.
你要我站在我家门外 天气这么冷
You expect me to stand outside of my own house,
in the cold, getting bitten by bugs,
被蚊虫叮咬 只是为了让小葛 追到这女生？我不要
so Gus can score with some girl?
I don't think so.
首先 她不是普通的女孩 好吗？
Okay, first of all, not just "some girl," okay?
她长得很漂亮 她个性很好 浑身散发迷人魅力
This dame is a looker. She's a peach.
She's a spicy tomato. Huh?
而且她可能是个杀人凶手
And she may or may not be a murderer.
她…你看 我就知道
Oh, see, I knew it. I knew it.
这跟小葛追女生无关
This has nothing to do with Gus finding a girl.
是你要用我的房子设下圈套
This is about you using my house
so you can conduct a sting operation.
尚恩 不行
Shawn, it ain't gonna happen.
你要做什么？
Okay, what are you doing?
You're putting a negative spin on things, as usual.
你总是要坏了我的好事 一如往常
听我说 如果她真的是冷血杀手
Look... Might they have a few more obstacles
than your typical couple if she turns out to be a cold-blooded killer?
他们之间的障碍会不会 比一般情侣多？会
Sure.
要是他们真的爱上对方呢 爸？
But what if they really fall in love, Dad?
尚恩…
Shawn, you've got about three seconds to get out of my way.
你有三秒钟的时间 从我眼前消失
One...
一…
这样是作弊 你作弊 不行 爸
You're cheating. You're cheating. Dad!
Shh, shh. Quiet, okay?
安静 你闭嘴
Shut up. Shut up.
请 进来吧
Please, come in.
Oh!
你连火都生好了 动作真快
You lit a fire.
That was fast.
Uh...
请坐
Have a seat.
欢迎来到我家
Welcome to my home.
天哪
Wow.
You really like fishing.
你真的很爱钓鱼
我没有
No. God, no.
I'm just playing.
我只是玩玩罢了
对 其实 我真的很喜欢钓鱼 没错
Yes, actually, I do love fishing.
Yes. Love it.
我很爱 我爱钓鱼
Love me some fishing.
一些大嘴鲈鱼 一些河鲈 一些鲟鱼
Some wide-mouth bass, some perch...
Some sturgeon? Whoo!
Sturgeon is a fish, right?
鲟鱼是鱼 对吧？
Okay, okay.
好了…
What is that?
-那是什么？ -什么？
- What? - That smell.
那股味道 闻起来像…
It's like...
It's like gardenia with a hint of mango.
掺有芒果的栀子花
什么？
What?
Oh, my god.
我的老天 你刚泡澡了？
Did you take a bath?
Yes, Shawn, I took a bath.
没错 尚恩 我刚泡过澡
I don't--
对 就像有防松装置的保险箱
你会破解保险箱？
泡泡浴？
With bubbles?
我没破解过任何保险箱
It's this new soap that I'm using.
是我在用的新肥皂
泡泡比较多
It-- it foams more.
泡泡比较多？
"It foams more"?
爸 这叫泡泡浴
Dad, it's called "bubble bath."
我不觉得这算泡泡浴
Well, I don't think it's officially called "bubble bath"
如果泡泡是无意中弄出来的 但是无所谓 尚恩
if the bubbles happened accidentally,
but whatever, Shawn.
你是谁？我爸在哪？
Who are you?
Where's my father?
I've accused you of being a lot of things in my lifetime,
我这辈子怪过你不少事情
但我从没说过你太娘娘腔
but metrosexual was never one of them.
Seriously, what's up...
我不是娘娘腔 我只是个普通人
I am not a metrosexual.
I just happen to be an average Joe
会在乎自己的健康和外貌
who is concerned about his health and appearance.
我泡澡好几年了 尚恩
I have taken baths for years, Shawn.
我坐在浴缸里泡澡时
That is where I think. I have solved dozens and dozens
破了无数的可怕凶案
of gruesome, gruesome murder cases sitting in a tub.
顺道一提 历史上的真男人都会泡澡
F.Y.I., historically,
real men have always taken baths.
Name one.
说个例子
John Wayne. Rio Bravo.
约翰韦恩、赤胆屠龙、泡澡
Bath.
有没有近代一点的例子？
You got anybody since the old west?
-那是什么？ -我在烤肉
What was-- what was that?
That's my roast. It's done.
-烤好了 -你会自己烤肉？
You made a roast?
我拜托你 尚恩 又不是法式咸派 是男人吃的食物
It's not a quiche. It's man food.
要是有时间 我也很乐意自己去打猎和宰杀
I would have gladly gone out and hunted it and killed it
if I had the time, and unless you get out of my way,
要是你再拦着我 我就宰了你
I am going to kill you.
你不能进去
You can't go in there.
你要是进去 我们的整个调查行动就完蛋了
You'll compromise this entire investigation.
会完蛋的是我的炖肉
The only thing compromised is my pot roast.
要干掉了
It is drying out as we speak.
Please?
拜托
No, Dad. No.
不行 爸 不要 天啊
拜托 孩子们 别在意 我只是经过这里要去厨房
Please, kids, pay no mind.
Just passing through to the kitchen.
要挤些酱汁淋在烤肉上
Got to squeeze some juices on my roast.
Gus?
-小葛？ -那是亨利
Oh, that's... Henry.
他是我室友
He's my... My roommate.
对 他做了烤肉
Yeah, he's just making...
Making a roast?
烤好了 只是需要淋上一些…
All done. All done. Just had to...
好了
Okay...
听着 你有室友没关系 但是…
Look, it's fine that you have a roommate,
but honestly, it's cramping our style.
老实说 破坏了我们的气氛
是吗？
It is?
What do you say we go somewhere more private?
不如我们去更隐蔽的地方吧？
"Private" like where?
隐蔽的地方 像是哪里？
I know a back road that leads to a field.
我知道一条通往荒郊野外的小路
We could park the car...
我们可以把车子停在那里
我觉得我们不应该去荒郊野外
Uh, yeah, I-I don't think we should go to the field.
Why?
-为什么？ -为什么？
Why? Um...
You don't like me.
你不喜欢我 对不对？
That's it, isn't it?
不是 是因为我的花粉症
No, no. My hay fever. My hay fever.
The last place my nasal passages want to be is the field.
我不应该让鼻子 处在荒郊野外的环境中
No, no, no, no.
不对 她不是杀人凶手 尚恩
She's not your killer, Shawn.
Look at this girl's eyes, huh?
看看这女孩的眼睛 儿子
多么真诚
They're sincere.
-你觉得我不漂亮 -什么？
- You don't think I'm pretty. - What?
你只是觉得愧疚 因为你…
You-- you just felt bad,
because we matched up at the speed dating
你不知道该说些什么 所以你就假装喜欢我
and you didn't know what to say, so you pretended.
都给你想就好了啊
Wow, you put all that together, huh?
Those are real tears, Shawn.
那些是真正的眼泪 尚恩
You're right.
你说得对
That's real snot.
那是真正的鼻涕
Hello?
你好 拉斯？
Lassie?
You what? I don't--
你说什么？好 我知道了…
Okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-爸 我要走了 -你说你要走了是什么意思？
Dad... Dad, Dad, Dad. I got to go.
Whoa, whoa. What do you mean, you got to go?
你没问题的
- You got this covered. - This poor girl is there,
这个可怜的女孩 在你挚友的肩上啜泣
weeping on your best friend's shoulder in my house,
在我家里 结果你居然要走了？
and you're leaving? What am I supposed to do?
我该怎么做？
我知道 这情况不好处理 得动动脑筋
I know, I know. It's a tough one.
It's a real thinker. Uh... uh...
I got it.
我知道了 你再去泡个澡
Draw yourself another bath.
尚恩…
Shawn. Shawn--
几个小时前抓到他的 发现他在
Picked him up a couple of hours ago.
Found him loitering outside one of the speed-dater's homes.
其中一位快速约会 参加者的家门外闲晃
拉斯特去他家搜查的时候
When Lassiter checked his place,
在他的公寓发现一叠问卷
he found a stack of the questionnaires in his apartment.
说说这些是怎么回事 马文
Tell me about these...
Marvin.
Look, I don't know anything about any crime.
听着 这件案子我什么都不知道
I used the names and the numbers
我只是利用名字和号码
去找约会对象而已
to get dates, man, that's it.
我无法花上一百美金缴纳入场费
I don't have 100 bucks to slap down on some entrance fee,
not on my crap salary, so, yeah...
我的薪水少的可怜 所以才这么做
And besides, that's why they go there.
况且 这就是人们去那里的原因
They go there for dates, right? So why not me?
他们是去约会的 我为何不行？
Why don't you think about that while you're trying to take a crap
你可以趁你在牢中 试着在另外六个人面前拉屎时
in front of six other guys?
好好想想这件事 如何？
Look, okay?
听我说 放我一马好不好？
Come on, all right?
我只不过是把问卷 从垃圾桶里拿出来而已
All I did was I took some questionnaires out of the trash.
That's it.
就这样 罪名是什么？ 不乱丢垃圾吗？
What's the charge? "Not littering"?
So if you don't have anything more,
要是你没有其他要说的 我想回去工作了
I'd like to get to work.
你觉得他说的是实话吗？
Think he's telling the truth?
Not by a long shot.
不可能
And look at him. He's not the right height.
你看他 他的身高不符合 他甚至没有车
He doesn't even own a car. I mean, he can't match the tire tread.
他不可能符合那个胎痕
他太过自信 他认为自己运气好
He's cocky.
He thinks he's on a roll, but I'm inside his head, chief,
不过我知道他在想些什么 局长
我会用套索套住他的额叶
and I'm about to hang a Lopez around the frontal lobe
揭开他的真面目
and shoot right out of his nose onto his vest.
You smell where I'm stepping?
-你知道我的意思吗？ -当然
He had a partner.
他有同伙
You let him go back to work,
你放他回去 他会带领我们找到那个人
he's going to lead us right to the person,
and I'll be able to pick him out, psychically.
我可以透过通灵能力把他们揪出来
You have my word.
我保证
I'd better.
最好是这样
拉斯特1放了他
Lassiter... let him go.
Excuse me?
你说什么？
Release him.
-放了他 -放了他？
Release him? Why am I going to release him?
我为什么要放了他？ 我干嘛放走他？
Why would I release him?
放了他
Release him.
Fine.
什么？
你快滚吧
Get your shillelagh and get out of here.
You got it.
没问题
不好意思 需要我的协助吗？
Excuse me. May I help you people?
-我们是来看看快速约会活动的 -抱歉 已经开始了
Yeah, we're here for the speed dating event.
Oh, I'm sorry. It's already begun.
Oh, wait.
等等 我记得你
I remember you.
Um, look...
听着 你看起来是个不错的家伙 我不希望你又浪费一百美金
You seem like a decent fellow, and I'd hate for you to waste another $100,
但我有在观察你
but I was watching you,
你对这方面不在行
and you're not very good at this.
Police business. Scat.
警察办案 让一让
Okay.
好 我需要呼吸 我需要空间做事
I need to breathe, and I need some space to do my thing.
Okay.
好
Shawn.
尚恩
太好了 兄弟 你有收到信息
Oh, good, buddy. You got the message.
It's not Darcy. You're in the clear.
-不是妲西 你的危机解除 -你一定要赔我 尚恩
You're going to pay, Shawn.
这笔帐我一定会跟你讨回来 相信我
You are going to pay. Believe me.
No offense, but it's tough to feel threatened by you
无意冒犯 但你穿着这件衬衫
很难让人觉得受到威胁 那是木槿吗？
when you're wearing that shirt. Is that a hibiscus?
这不是我的衬衫 这是你爸的衬衫
It's not my shirt, Shawn. It's your dad's shirt.
他不得不借我一件 我那件都沾满了鼻涕眼泪
He had to loan me one. Mine was covered in snot tears.
我无法… 你知道他还会洗泡泡浴吗？
I can't--
Did you know he also takes bubble baths?
So did John Wayne.
-约翰韦恩也会 -我知道 可以说说别的名字吗？
I know, but can you name one other guy?
怎么回事？
- What's going on? - I solved the case.
我破案了 其实还很曲折离奇的
It's actually got a decent twist.
坐下来
Have a seat.
我其实是个冒险家
Well, I'm actually kind of an adventurist, you know?
我遇过一次雪崩 为了生存下来
I was caught in an avalanche once.
In order to survive, I drank my own urine
我喝了自己的尿 吃了三根自己的脚趾头
and I ate three of my toes,
所以我走进来的时候才一拐一拐的
which is, you know, maybe why you saw me limp when I came in.
Hey, big guy. Mind if I cut in here?
大个子 介意我打扰一下吗？
我不知道 我们…
Oh, I don't know. We're kind of in a...
- You're going to be okay. - Okay.
-你会没事的 -好吧
Gee, I really hope that wasn't rude.
我希望这样不会很无礼 看上去是有点无礼
It seemed a little rude.
其实 我应该感谢你才对 因为他糟透了
Well, actually, I should thank you,
because he was awful.
That is a very nice name.
你的名字很棒
但你还很可爱的
...But you're kind of cute.
So, Navy blue is your favorite color?
海军蓝是你最爱的颜色？ 我最喜欢绿色
Mine's green.
You know, you seem European.
你看起来像欧洲来的
你确定没有欧洲血统吗？
You sure you don't have family history there?
你妈姓什么？
What's your mother's maiden name?
在动物收容所当了一阵子志愿工后
So after volunteering for the animal shelter, I decided--
-我决定… -我能打断你一下吗？
- Can I stop you for a moment? - Mm-hmm.
I'm so sorry.
我很抱歉…
I'm so sorry.
各位 不好意思 能够注意一下这里吗？
Uh, everybody? I'm sorry.
If I could just get your attention for a sec here.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
等下要是还有时间 我想跟你继续聊下去
I want to pick this up right where we left off
if there's any time left on the clock, okay?
因为你看起来是个很棒的人 你值得一个特别的人
Because you seem like a terrific person.
You deserve someone special,
一个让你觉得有安全感 但又有点低俗的人
someone who makes you feel safe, but also a little dirty.
你知道我的意思吗？ 每个人都值得那个特别的人
You know what I'm talking about?
Everyone deserves someone special,
在场的每一位 你们都是
each and every one of you. All of you.
Look, is your perfect match here tonight?
听着 你们的另一半今晚在现场吗？ 我不知道 我不确定
I don't know. I'm not sure.
但重点是 你们来到现场 你们拿出真心
But the point is, you're here, and you put your hearts on the line,
这就够了
and that's all that really matters.
可惜 这里有两个人的动机不单纯
Unfortunately, there are two people here
that do not share your pure desires.
They're not here to find their soulmates.
他们不是来这里寻找灵魂伴侣的
They're not here to fall in love.
他们也不是来这里追寻爱情
事实上 他们甚至不是单身
As a matter of fact, they're not even single.
You, Glenda, and you,
你 葛兰妲和你 马文 你们是一对
Mar-r-r-vin, are a couple.
An odd couple, to be sure, but a couple.
虽然是奇怪的一对 但确实是一对
Matter of fact... you're married!
事实上 你们结婚了
这太荒谬了
This is absurd!
你们手指上的晒痕
The tan lines on your fingers
那是婚戒原本的位置 可以证明这一点
where your wedding rings used to be will prove...
拜托 别再提日光浴的事情了
Please, not with the tanning thing again.
你们不仅已结婚
That not only are you married,
而且日光浴也跟这间案子有关
but that tanning had something to do with this investigation.
Thank you, chief.
谢谢你 局长 问题是
Now, the question is why would a married couple
一对夫妻来参加单身联谊做什么？
infiltrate a singles event?
答案很简单 这里是个
Well, the answer is simple.
It's a perfect place to commit their crime.
犯罪的好地方
They're here to rob you, ladies and gentlemen.
他们是来这里抢劫你们的 先生女士们
偷走你们身上一项不变的事物
To steal from you the one thing that is invariably your own--
身份
Identity.
-我就说那个小精灵是坏蛋 -马文拷贝了问卷
I told you that leprechaun was bad.
Mar-r-r-vin...
Did copy the questionnaires to get these people's phone numbers
为了得到这些人的电话号码和地址
and addresses, and you, glenda,
而你 葛兰妲 聪明地 得到了这些问题的答案 像是…
cleverly found the answers to questions like...
"What's your mother's maiden name?"
“你妈姓什么？”
“你最喜欢的颜色是什么？” “你有养宠物吗？”
"What's your favorite color?" "Did you have any pets?
“宠物叫什么名字” “告诉我比吉斯的所有成员”
What are their names?" "Name all the Bee-Gees."
这些问题 是你要授权信用卡时
Those are the same questions that you get at the bank from security
银行保全系统会问的问题
when you try to authorize a credit card.
So, what was left?
剩下还需要什么呢？ 要拿到这些可怜家伙的
Get the credit card numbers from these poor guys
信用卡号码 还要让他们不知道自己被抢了
without them knowing they were robbed,
所以你们想出了一个计划
so you came up with a plan.
你尾随他们 你对他们下药
You followed them,
you drugged them,
你们记下信用卡号 然后将全身光溜溜的他们留在野外
you took down the numbers,
and you deposited them, naked, in a field,
where they woke up disoriented, grassy-assed,
他们在那里醒来 满头雾水
屁股上全是草 不清楚是怎么回事
but none the wiser.
弗雷德特克那天 的确看到了一个小外星人
Fred Turk did see a little alien that day,
except it wasn't an extraterrestrial.
只不过不是外星来的
是马文穿着 他荒谬可笑的绿色小精灵服
It was Marvin
in his ridiculous, stupid green leprechaun costume.
And they would have gotten away with it, too,
他们原本不会露出马脚的 各位
if it wasn't for their last victim,
要不是因为最后一位受害者 他再也没有醒过来了
the one who didn't...
Quite wake up.
先别跑！
Not... so fast...
Because that isn't even the worst of it.
因为这还不是最过分的事情
The worst of it is that you two stole a very valuable seat
最过分的是 你们占了两个非常珍贵的位置
that belonged to a single person,
是原本属于单身男女的
a single person who believes in the power of love.
相信爱情力量的单身男女
你们应当感到羞耻
You should be ashamed of yourselves...
Both of you.
你们两个都是
Murder? Wow.
谋杀案 天啊 快速约会史上首桩
That's a speed dating first.
Be sure to check up at the bar and see who you match
记得去吧台
看看透过问卷表 谁跟你最般配 好吗？
from your questionnaires, okay?
Sorry about that.
真抱歉
-好厉害 -我只是…
- You know? I just... - Wow.
我是发自内心的 你知道的
It was from here, though. You know that.
So we were talking about what?
我们刚才说到哪？我们刚才说到…
Beagles. That's so sweet, because you like them,
-小猎犬 -小猎犬 好可爱
你因为喜欢…们 还替它们穿上了小毛衣
and you put little sweaters on them.
Well-- sometimes...
-对 有时候 -不好意思 我可以插个话吗？
Excuse me. Sorry. May I cut in?
It's my... Parole officer.
她是我的假释官
-好吧 -是的
Okay.
-好 -抱歉
Sorry.
-没问题 -我很抱歉
Sorry.
-抱歉 -你是从哪冒出来的…
Where did you...
I thought you were on a date.
-我以为你在约会 -我本来是在约会 结束了
I was. It's over.
-结束了？ -没错
- Over? - Mm-hmm.
"Over" like "he laid one on you on the front porch,
结束 是指他在你的门廊前
给你深情一吻 让你小鹿乱撞 那种结束 还是…
and you got little butterflies" over,
你假装头痛然后提早离开那种结束？
or "you pretended like you had a headache
and called it quits early" over?
Not that it's any of your business,
那些都不关你的事 但他不会打保龄球
but he can't bowl, and that's the deal-breaker.
-那点是致命伤 -我懂了
I see.
不过 听我说 我坐下的唯一原因
But look, the only reason I sat down
是因为我想澄清一件事
is because I wanted to clear one thing up.
I don't take any stock in those profile-matching thingies
我一点也不相信
我们那晚的配对结果
we did the other night.
Jules, I was just messing around.
茱儿 我只是在胡闹罢了 我…
I... I copied your card over your shoulder, like, verbatim.
我从你身后抄袭了你的问卷卡 每一字每一句
怎样 你该不会以为 我自己缝补睡衣吧 那个…
You thought maybe I sew my own pajamas?
Right, okay.
对 好吧 很好
Well, good, because, um...
因为我不希望我们之间 有种尴尬的感觉
I don't want there to be any weirdness between us,
而且看来我们往后 共事的时间还很长
and it seems like we're going to be working together a lot...
-随时随地 -对
All the time.
So...
-这个案子破得漂亮 -谢谢
Nice job on the case, by the way.
Thank you very much. Yeah.
-对 -谢谢
Thank you.
-好 我们工作时见了 -我们就是这样 工作模式
All right, I'll see you at work.
That's how we do it.
Work-style.
-对 工作时见了 -再见
See you at work.
See you.
Where's she going?
她要去哪？
You know what? I think... I think I undersold the fajitas.
我觉得我点这盘法士达亏大了
Well, wouldn't be the first time
这不会是你第一次
吃到一半被女人抛下
a female walked out on you in the middle of a meal.
拜托 小葛 我说的是茱儿
Oh, please, Gus, we're talking about Jules here.
我们又不是在约会 况且也行不通
It's not like we were on a date.
Plus, it wouldn't work out. It would never work out.
绝对行不通
I'd have to really bowl well,
我必须要打好保龄球才行
显然那是个致命伤
and apparently that's a deal-breaker.
你知道那有多难吃吧？
You know how awful those are.
I'm hungry, man.
-我饿了 -我们不必留下来
We don't have to stay.
老兄 去吃烤鸡
Dude...
Jerk chicken.
你说得对
Oh, you know that's right.