Hi, you've reached the office, Dr. Stuart Price. 你好 这里是斯图亚特·普瑞斯医生诊所
Please note the office will be closed until the 24th. 请注意 诊所在二十四号前歇业
If this is an emergency, please try... 如果有紧急情况 请试着...
Hi, It's Dr. Stuart Price, 你好 我是斯图亚特·普瑞斯医生
I'm getting married. 我要结婚了
So I'll be out of the country for 2 weeks. 所以我会出国两周
I'm not sure if I'll have cell service. 我不确定那里是不是有信号
If this is a dental emergency... 如果是牙科急诊...
Nothing. 没接通
Daddy, please! You're not helping! 爸爸 拜托 你这是在帮倒忙
I looked into his eyes. Not the eyes of a man. 我看着他的眼睛 他不是个男子汉
The eyes of a coward. 而是个懦夫
Excuse me! 抱歉
- Bill! - Tracy! -比尔 -崔西
- I'm sorry! - Where the hell are you? -对不起 -你们死哪去了
It happened again! 历史又重演了
Don't say that, please! 别开玩笑 拜托了
No, this time we really fucked up. 不 这次我们是真的玩完了
Seriously! What is wrong with you three? 说真的 你们仨是怎么回事
So much, Trace, I don't even know where to begin. 说来话长 崔西 我都不知道该从何说起
Oh god! How bad? 天哪 有多糟
- Like, no wedding bad? - Yeah... -不会要取消婚礼吧 -好吧
A little worse than that. 比那还要糟
宿 醉 2
一周前
You really need to floss more. 你真该多用着点牙线
Fuck that! That's why I come here. 呸 那我还来这干嘛
Then you should come more than once every two years! 那你就常来 别两年只来一次
Why? So you can bleed me of all my money? 怎么 想把我的钱都榨干吗
I never charge you a dime, Phil! 我没收过你半毛钱 菲尔
- Hey, how do I work the nitrous? - Ah, you don't actually. -你给我麻醉吧 -你用不着
Come on! Just one hit! 得了 就用一下
Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems? 牙齿补得很好 还有其他问题吗
Yeah, actually. You're getting married in Thailand. 有 事实上 你准备在泰国结婚
For starters, that's flights for me and Steph. 首先 我得为自己和史黛芬买机票
That's two grand right there. 那要两千块
Then my mother in laws watching the kids. 其次我岳母要照料小孩
So now she's got this whole new thing over my head. 现在她老和我絮叨这事 头都大了
Plus, takes five days to get there. 另外 还得花五天时间才能到那边
It's a 16 hour flight. 只要十六个小时
And it's beautiful when you get there. 你到了后会发现那里非常美
- Whatever, it's a hassle! - It is kinda far. -不管怎样 这是自找麻烦 -是有点远
Lauren's been there a week and she's still jet lagged. 罗伦已经去了一周了 还没调好时差
But it's where her parents are from 但她父母都在那边
and it means a lot to them. 这对他们来讲意义重大
Who gives a shit about her parents! Her dad hates you! 谁管她父母 她爸爸讨厌你
He doesn't hate me! He's just never spoken to me... 他不讨厌我 他只是从来不和我讲话
...I think it's a cultural thing. 我想这是因为文化差异
Why can't you just get married in Vegas 你为什么不能像上次那样
like you did the last time. It's so much easier. 在赌城结婚 那要简单多了
Why can't you just be excited for me? 你为什么就不能替我高兴
This is my wedding! 这是我的婚礼
- You're really happy, huh? - I really am. -你真的很开心吗 -我真的很开心
Alright... 好吧
...I'm happy too. 那我也很开心
- Thank you! - Gonna be fun. -谢谢 -会很有趣的
Phil. Put the prescription pad back. 菲尔 把处方放回来
Thank you. You know that's a felony right? 谢谢 你知道那是犯罪吧
Fuck you, man! 去死吧你
- Was this right up against your scrotum? - Yep. -塞你蛋蛋那里了 -没错
- Oh my god, I just realized. - What? -天哪 我刚想起来 -怎么了
- I forgot to renew my passport! - Oh, no... -我忘记把护照延期了 -不是吧
Good thing I did it last week. It's in the kitchen drawer. 好消息是我上周已经弄好了 在厨房抽屉里
- You're the best! - Hey! We're a team! -你真棒 -我们是一家人
You're a good guy. Like a really good guy! 你是个好男人 真正的好男人
Thank you! 谢谢夸奖
So I know you're not gonna get mad. 所以我知道你不会生气了
Mad? What, mad at what? 生气 为什么 生什么气
Alan found out that we're going to Thailand for Stu's wedding. 艾伦发现我们要去泰国参加斯图的婚礼
So? 怎么
So he's heart broken, Doug. You guys are like his family! 他心碎了 道格 你们就像他的家人
No. Your family is like his family. 不 你的家人才是他的家人
All Alan talks about is the three of you. 艾伦成天都在谈论你们仨
- And that weekend. - Wait a second... -还有那周末 -等等
Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up? 就是他在不停地打电话挂电话吗
He does that when he's upset. 他不高兴时就会这么做
He doesn't understand why he's not invited. 他不明白为什么不邀请他
Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him. 你能说服斯图吗 去跟他说说
For me... 为了我
No fucking way! Absolutely not! 他妈的不可能 绝对不可能
Come on Stu, it's killing him. 斯图 他难受死了
Honestly, the two of you were barely invited. 坦白讲 我本来都不打算邀请你们俩
I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what... 我明白 我真理解 只是 你知道吗
Alan considers you to be one of his best friends. 艾伦把你当成最好的朋友
I consider Alan to be insane. 我觉得艾伦就是个神经病
Stu, throw him a bone! 斯图 就算帮他个小忙吧
We've already said 我们已经说过了
he's got to pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks. 他自已承担饭费和所有打碎的东西
You know what. We should see 而且 我们还可以看看
if we can squeeze the old man to cover the bachelor party. 是否能从老头子那里敲点单身派对的费用
- That's good. - I'm glad you brought that up. -很好 -我很高兴你提起这个话题
- Because... this is the bachelor party! - What? -因为 这就是单身派对 -什么
What are you talking about? 你说什么呢
Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch! 是的 这就是我的单身派对
Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes... 敞开点吧 吃些巧克力薄煎饼
A lap dance from the waitress... 让服务员跳个大腿舞
That's bullshit! 扯淡
You can't just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu. 你不能就这么跳过单身派对 斯图
You see that? 你们看到那个了吗
That's orange juice with a napkin on top. 那是橘子汁 上面盖着餐巾纸
Do you know why? So nobody will refuse me. 知道为什么吗 这样就不会有人拒绝我
Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party? 我干嘛要在单身派对上不肯吃哈密瓜啊
C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting? 斯图 你不觉得你有点过分吗
No, I don't. 不 我没觉得
I'm still putting the pieces of my broken psyche back together. 我还在把我破碎的心一片片粘合起来
And you know what the glue is? 你知道谁是粘合剂吗
Lauren! I'm not doing anything to screw that up. 是罗伦 我不会冒险搞砸这次婚礼
Oh, please. You wouldn't even be 拜托 要不是因为我们
with her if it wasn't for us. 你都不会和她在一起
Oh, this'll be good. 那可真是好极了
Stu, think about it! 斯图 好好想想
You ended up ditching Melissa, 你和梅丽莎分手
and two years later you met your true soul mate. 两年后你遇见了情投意合的爱人
You take Vegas out of that equation, 你要是在堵城迷失了自我
you would have married a cunt. 你就会娶一个淫妇
Oh that's ok. I'm allowed to say it. It's a bachelor party. 没关系 我可以说这种话 这是单身聚会
Drink up everybody. 大家喝起来吧
Oh wait, there's no alcohol! 等等 这里没酒
I forgot we're at a fuckin IHOP! 我忘了 我们他妈的在煎饼店里
Well, it's my decision and it's final, so... how bout a toast? 我已经决定了 庆祝一下怎么样
This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car. 真没劲 我到车里等你们
C'mon Phil, where you going? 得了 菲尔 你去哪
Doug, Doug, I just don't get it! 道格 我真是不明白
He's getting married in Thailand! 他就要在泰国结婚了
That's great for him, but what about us? 对他来说再好不过 但我们呢
You're selfish! Come on, sweetheart... 你真自私 来吧 亲爱的
Shame on you! 你真讨厌
Don't worry Stu. 别担心 斯图
I will stand up for you no matter what. 不论发生什么事我都支持你
Thank you. 谢谢
But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing. 但你得帮我解决艾伦这件事
Guys, I can't tell you how much this means... 伙计们 我打心眼里感激
Alan's been waiting for the invite 自从艾从听说了婚礼的消息
ever since he got word of the wedding. 就一直等着大家的邀请
- I'm sure he has. - Yeah. -我相信 -是的
Been standing outside by the mailbox every day. 每天都出去站在邮箱前
- Well that's tough. - Yeah. -那可真不容易 -是啊
I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas. 我想他的魂还没从赌城回来呢
He really needs this. 他真的很需要你们
What? 干嘛
Sweetie, papa! You have visitors! Go in slowly. 亲爱的 是爸爸 有人找你 慢点
Give him a chance to acclimate. 给他一个适应的机会
Hey, Alan! 艾伦
Hey, guys! Hey, Phil! 伙计们 菲尔
Hey, bud! 伙计
- You guys wanna come in? - Sure. Absolutely. -你们想进来吗 -当然
- Hey, Stu! - Ok. See you on the court in half... -斯图 -好 回头在球场上...
Pretty cool room, Alan! 真是很酷的房间 艾伦
Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent. 谢谢 菲尔 我爸付的房租
Alan, what the fuck! You were supposed to delete these! 艾伦 搞毛 你应该删掉这些照片
You made a promise! 你说好的
What the hell? 搞什么
I'm not cool with this at all. You can't have these. 我不喜欢这些玩意 你不能留着
Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here. 别激动 斯图 没人会来这里
A total violation of trust! 你完全辜负了我们的信任
Mother, I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here! 妈妈 我吃完午餐了 东西还放着
I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up. 很抱歉 亲爱的 我这就上来
I can't believe you guys stopped by. 真不敢相信你们会来
- This is really cool. - Wait a second! -你们真好 -等等
Al, is that Mr. Chow? 艾 那是周吗
Yeah. We still keep in touch. 是啊 我们一直保持联系
Stu! 斯图
Chow, the guy that kidnapped us? 周 就是那个绑架我们的人吗
He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug. 他没有绑架我们 他绑架了黑道格
Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding. 记得吗 这是个天大的误会
He's actually quite charming. 他其实非常有魅力
Alan, he's a criminal. 艾伦 他是个罪犯
Excuse me, boys! 打扰了 孩子们
- Hi, Linda! - Hi, Dougie! -你好 琳达 -你好 小道
I guess we don't do desert anymore. I didn't get that memo. 我还以为我们不会再有点心吃了
I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back. 抱歉 亲爱的 我马上就回来
Would a cupcake kill you? 一块蛋糕会累死你吗
You know, I don't think this was a good idea. 我觉得这不是个好主意
Alan, we have a little surprise for you. 艾伦 我们有个小惊喜给你
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding. 斯图要邀请你参加他的婚礼
- Well, only if you're not busy. - Stu! -如果你不忙的话 -斯图
Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town. 也许乔纳斯兄弟在城里有演唱会
Nope. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend. 不 他们那周在罗利·达勒姆
Are you really being serious, Stu? 你们不是在开玩笑吧 斯图
You're inviting me? 你真要邀请我吗
Yeah, why not? It's gonna be fun, right? 是啊 当然了 会很有意思的吧
- Phil, are you going? - Of course! -菲尔 你去吗 -当然去
Then it will be fun. 那肯定会很有意思了
What the fuck are you doing, man? 你他妈的干什么呢 伙计
It's my immunizations. It's the last day I can do it. 这是我的免疫注射 这是我最后一天用了
That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse. 只有注册的护士才能打
I'm a nurse. Just not registered. 我就是名护士 只是没注册而已
Stu, look at this! I bought this cause I thought of you! 斯图 看这个 我买了这个 因为我很想你
- Hey, there he is! - Hey, Stu! -他来了 -斯图
- Teddy! What's up? How are ya? - Hey Stu. -泰迪 你好吗 -斯图
- Alright. - Who's this guy, Stu? -很好 -他是谁 斯图
This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother. 这是泰迪 罗伦的弟弟
Goes to Stanford. Pre-med. 斯坦福大学 医学预科
This is Phil, Alan and Doug. 这是菲尔 艾伦 道格
Hey, nice to meet you, man! 见到你们很高兴 伙计
Wow, Stanford? How old are you? 斯坦福大学 你多大了
He's 17. Kind of a genius. 他十七岁 是个天才
Actually, I'm 16. 实际上 我十六岁
I'm not a genius. 并不是天才
My dad just had me take the entrance exams early. 我爸爸让我提前参加了入学考试
Because you're a genius. 因为你是个天才
So what are you, a doctor? 那你是医生吗
No, not yet. I'm premed. 不 还不是 在读医学院预科
Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser? 听说过天才小医生吗
Yeah. 听说过
- Well, he turned out to be a gay. - Alan. -他是个基佬 -艾伦
It's true, i read it in Teen People. 真的 我在《青年人物》杂志上看到
Right, ok... well, I'm gonna grab a book 好吧 我要去买本书
or something for the plane. You guys want anything? 或飞机上用的东西 你们需要什么吗
No, thanks. I'm good. 不 谢谢 我不用
I would actually love a small water. 我想要一小瓶水
Cool. 好
What's the matter with you. 你怎么回事
- He's 16 years old. - Yeah, Alan. Take it easy! -他才十六岁 -是啊 艾伦 放轻松
I'm a little confused. 我真是不明白
Is he here just to see us off or what. 他来这只是送我们还是怎么着
How does this work? 这是怎么回事
- How does what work? - Is that person coming to the wedding? -什么怎么回事 -他也要来参加婚礼吗
Yes, Alan. My brides little brother 是的 艾伦 我新娘的弟弟
is coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you? 要来参加婚礼 你觉得有问题吗
Well, it's the first time I've heard of it. 这是我头一次听说
You could have paged me. 你应该提前告诉我
Don't over react. It's gonna be fine. 别激动 没事的
Hey. Mind if I sit? 介意我坐下吗
Wolf pack only. Find another chair. 只给狼友坐 再找别的座位吧
There's no wolfpack, Alan. 别提什么狼友 艾伦
- C'mon. - It's no problem. I'll find... -坐吧 -没关系 我可以找
Teddy, don't be ridiculous! 泰迪 别犯傻了
- You're sitting here! - Careful, that's a Louis... -你就坐在这 -当心 那是L
That is a Louis Vuitton! 那可是LV
- That's a nice neck roll! - Thanks! You can use it if you want. -颈枕不错 -谢谢 你可以随便用
Ok. 好吧
Baby! 宝贝
This is so absolutely beautiful! Thank you much! 这里真是太美了 非常感谢
Of course. 不客气
Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited. 就我和泰迪来讲 你一定非常激动
Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family. 很快家里就有两位医生了
You have to realize that in my country 你要明白在我们国家
we don't consider dentists to be real doctors. 牙齿可不是真正的医生
Dad... 爸爸
Ok. 好吧
Anyway I have to go 不管怎样 我得去
and talk to Teddy about his cello performance tonight. 和泰迪谈谈关于他今晚的大提琴演奏
Ouch! 说话真伤人
I'm so sorry... 很抱歉
Your dad's kind of obsessed with your brother, isn't he? 你爸爸有点溺爱你弟弟吧
Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's always been that way. 泰迪是我爸爸珍贵的财富 一直都是这样
He'll warm up, I promise! Okay? 他会和善起来的 我保证 好吗
You can just fax it over to me. I'll pick it up at the concierge. 你可以发传真给我 我去服务台收
Thanks, papa! Bye bye! 谢谢 爸爸 再见
That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son. 是我爸 我是个宅家的儿子
We were discussing your wedding gift. He's sparing no expense. 我们刚在说你们的结婚礼物 他不惜下老本
Oh... That's so unnecessary. 没那个必要
I've been meaning to ask someone. 我一直想找人问问
I notice this is a fishing village. 我发现这是个渔庄
Is there a Long John Silver's on the island? 岛上真的有龙津威威士忌吗
You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry. 那个 好像没有 很抱歉
But, we are actually serving some great fresh seafood. 但是 我们有美味新鲜的海鲜
- Better than Long John's? - Yes. -比龙津威威士忌还好 -是的
I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening. 好不好我说了算 今晚玩得开心
You too. Ok. 你也是
Thank you, Teddy! 谢谢你 泰迪
The hands of a brilliant musician! 一双杰出音乐家的手
And one day, a great surgeon. 也未来的 伟大的外科医生
I admit it... 我承认
When I first met Stu, 当我第一次遇见斯图
I was not quite sold. 我并不是很买账
He seemed unattractive. He lacked intelligence and imagination. 他没有吸引力 缺少智慧和想象力
He was missing the spark you look for in a man. 他缺少一种男人身上的闪光点
But then I looked into Stu's eyes. 但我看着斯图的眼睛
It reminded me of my sweet brother, Chai Yo. 让我想起了我亲爱的兄弟 蔡友
For those who do not know, 你们也许不认识他
Chai Yo is learning the sailboat 蔡友正在学习驾驶帆船
and lives in a group home. 他住在痴呆养老院里
But Chai Yo loves "Khao" . 但是蔡友很喜欢粥
And that's when I realized, Stu is "Khao". 我意识到 斯图就是粥
What is "Khao"? 什么是粥
"Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water. 粥是种在温水中泡得很软的白色大米
It has no taste. 没有味道
We feed it to small baby and uh, very old people. 我们用它来喂小婴儿和年长的老人
It is nourishment that everyone can digest. 它非常有营养 每个人都可以消化
The world needs "Khao", just as the world needs people like Stu. 这个世界需要粥 就像世界需要斯图这样的人
To my sweet daughter and Stu! Congratulations! 敬我的宝贝女儿和斯图 恭喜你们
Cheers! 干杯
And now I believe that Teddy has something to say. 我想泰迪有话要说
Sit down! I got this. Sit down, boy! 坐下 我来 坐下 小子
That was a.. A great speech, sir! 你的致辞很棒 先生
I like the comparison between Stu and rice. 我喜欢斯图和大米的比较
I've also prepared a few words. 我也准备了几句话
Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts. 大家好 这有些有趣的事例
The population in Thailand is 63 million people. 泰国的人口有六千三百万
It is twice the size of Wyoming. 这个数字是美国怀俄明州的两倍
It's chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. 主要出口纺织品 鞋类和大米
Each year approximately 13,000 people 在泰国每年都约有一万三千人
are killed in car accidents in Thailand. 死于车祸
- The climate in Thailand... - Alan! -泰国的气候... -艾伦
Why don't you skip to 能不能直接跳到
- the last card there, buddy. - Okay. Sorry! -最后一张卡片 伙计 -好吧 抱歉
None of you know Stu like I do. 你们谁也没有我了解斯图
Not you... not you... not you... 不是你 不是你 不是你
Not nobody knows Stu like I do. 没人像我这么了解斯图
No one! 没有一个人
I can't even tell you 我不能告诉你们
what we've been through cause we made a pact. 我们都经历了些什么 因为我们有个协议
More important than blood. 那比血缘更重要
What I can tell you is this. 我能告诉你们的是这件事
This is not Stu's first marriage. 这不是斯图的第一次结婚
There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago. 几年前在拉斯维加斯有个妓女
Sit down... 坐下
Enough! He'll get over it! 够了 他会没事的
Okay. Thanks, Phil! 好吧 谢谢 菲尔
In your face! 哭吧你
Well, that was exactly as painful as I expected it to be. 就和我想的一样痛苦
Sorry... 对不起
Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing? 八宝饭 你在干嘛
HaHa. Very funny! 哈哈 真好笑
Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight. 对他好点 菲尔 他今天格外敏感
Get over it! He's your father in law. He's supposed to hate you. 算了 他是你岳父 他理应讨厌你
Come have a drink with me and the guys. 来和我们喝一杯
You know... I'm really exhausted. 我很累了
We're just gonna go upstairs and crash. 我们要去楼上睡觉了
C'mon, I just spoke with the manager. 得了 我刚和经理说过了
He's gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach. 他同意让我们在海边生篝火
That sounds fun! 听起来很有趣
- Nyah... I'm good. - He's tired! -不用了 -他累了
Stu, one drink with your friends 斯图 你的朋友不远万里跑来
who came all this way. 去和他们喝一杯
I just wanna hang out with you! 我只想和你在一起
Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor. 得了 去吧 帮我个忙
Take Teddy with you. He never gets to have any fun. 带上泰迪 他从来都不会找乐子
That is a great idea. Bring the kid. 好主意 带上那孩子
- Alright. One drink! - Perfect. -好吧 就喝一杯 -太好了
- See you later. - Have fun! -回头见 -玩得开心
- You have the key? - Yep, got it right here! -你有钥匙吗 -有 在这里
I'll see you in 20 minutes! 二十分钟后见
My uncle Roger said that he once saw an albino polar bear. 我叔叔罗杰说见过一头白化北极熊
Really? Polar bears are white. 真的吗 北极熊本来就是白色
How would he know if it's an albino? 他怎么会知道它得了白化病
This one was black. 这头是黑色的
Did you ever think maybe it was just a black bear? 会不会它本来就是头黑熊
Whatelse... 不然还能是什么
Ok. Here we go. American beer. 好吧 开喝 美国啤酒
- Sealed bottle! - Thank you. Alright! -密封的瓶子 -谢谢 好吧
I'm not really old enough to drink. 我还没到喝酒的年龄
Yeah, it's illegal. 是的 这是违法的
Would be a shame if somebody reported you. 要是你被举报了有你受的
Nobody's reporting anybody. It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun. 没人举报你 没关系 泰迪 开心点
Careful! 当心
What is this? Instant marshmallows? Nice touch! 这是什么 速溶棉花糖 不错啊
- That was Alan's idea. - Good thinking, Al! -是艾伦的主意 -很周到 艾
You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu! This place is paradise. 我得承认 斯图 这地方就是天堂
Not bad, right? 还不错吧
And I can't believe I'm saying this, 不敢相信我会这么说
but I'm actually jealous of you. 但我真的很嫉妒你
I mean, Lauren is an angel. 我是说 罗伦真是个天使
Yeah, she really is amazing. 是啊 她真的很棒
Wow, you guys are sweet. 你们嘴真甜
Not big breasts on her. But still, solid rack for an Asian. 她没有大咪咪 但对个亚洲人来说还算结实
- Sorry, Teddy, but it's true. - That's ok. -抱歉 泰迪 但这是真话 -没关系
That is just wildly inappropriate. 这么说真是不像话
And yet... I'm really glad you're here. 但你们能来我还是很高兴
All you guys. Even you Alan. 你们所有人 也包括你 艾伦
It means a lot that you made the trip. Thank you. 这对我来说意义重大 谢谢
- Wouldn't have missed it buddy. - Great! -怎么能错过呢 伙计 -太棒了
Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad? 现在 我们能干上一杯了吗 啰嗦鬼
Alright. Toast! C'mon, stand up guys. 好吧 干杯 起来 伙计们
Come over here, Alan! 到这边来 艾伦
To Lauren and Stu! 敬罗伦和斯图
- You did it, buddy. - Sure did. -你做到了 伙计 -当然了
Cheers! 干杯
What the hell... 我了个大槽...
What? 啥
Phil... 菲尔
I think it happened again. 我想历史又重演了
Alan, what the fuck did you do? 艾伦 你他妈的又干了什么
I didn't do anything. I swear to god. 我什么都没干 我对天发誓
Your hair is gone. 你的毛没了
No, no... up. 不 头顶上的
Where the fuck are we? 天杀的我们到底在哪
Phil, I'm scared. 菲尔 我好怕
Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation. 斯图 快起来 出乱子了
- Oh, holy shit! - Where are we? -卧槽 -这是哪
- Oh my god, Alan. Your head. - No your head! -我的天 艾伦 你的头 -你才是
- Is it bald? - Stu, -是不是秃了 -斯图
you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok. 你估计会疯掉 但这没什么大不了
- Why? Was it my teeth? - Nope, it's not your teeth. -咋了 我牙齿是不是又缺了 -不 不是牙齿
- Are you sure? - Yep. -你确定吗 -嗯
Can you see the bottom? 看得到底下吗
Oh my god! What the fuck! 天哪 我擦咧
That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off. 那很好 试试看能不能洗下来
It's not coming off. This is a real tattoo! 洗不下来 这是真的纹身
Alan, what did you do! 艾伦 你都干了什么
- Did you Roofie me? - I didn't do anything! -你是不是给我下药了 -我啥都没做
Stu, he swore to god! 斯图 他对天发过誓
What happened? 到底怎么了
Get it off of me! 把它弄走
- What the hell? - It's a monkey. -什么鬼玩意 -一只猴子
What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey. 小脸蛋真可爱 你好小猴子
Alan... 艾伦
Phone! Alan, go find the phone! 手机 艾伦 去找手机
I got it! 找到了
- Doug, where the hell are you? - I'm at breakfast. By the pool. -道格 你死哪去了 -在游泳池边吃早饭
You guys coming down or what? 你们来不来
Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine. 谢天谢地 道格没事
Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort. 斯图 道格没事 他在度假村
Why aren't we at the resort. 那我们咋不在度假村
What's going on? Where are you guys? 出什么事了 你们在哪
I do not know, man! 我不知道啊 兄弟
We woke up in some shithole room in some city. 我们醒来发现自己在某个烂得发霉的地方
- Oh god. What city? - I don't know, Doug! -天哪 什么地方 -不知道 道格
Fuckin Asia-town. 反正是个狗屁亚洲城市
- I do not know, I told you. - Where are we? -我不知道 都跟你说了 -我们在哪
- Hey Stu. - What? -斯图 -干嘛
Check this out. 看看这个
Ever seen anything like this? 你见过这种东西吗
- What is that? - Careful. Might be a spider's nest. -那是什么 -小心 可能是个蜘蛛巢
I've tangled with those before. 我以前跟这些东西纠缠过
I don't get it man. 我就不明白了
We each had one beer last night, right? I mean you too! 昨晚我们每人都抽了一瓶啤 你不也是吗
- Yeah. But I left early, remember? - I don't remember shit! -是啊 但我先回去了 记得吗 -我屁都不记得了
Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came down to get me. 崔西不太舒服 所以她下来找我
Wait a second. Is Teddy with you guys? 等等 泰迪是不是跟你们在一起
Teddy? What? What are you talking about? 什么 泰迪 你说什么
He wasn't in his room. They've been looking for him all morning. 他不在房间里 大家找了他一早上了
- Teddy went to Stanford, right? - Yeah. Why? -泰迪在斯坦福念书吧 -没错 怎么
Fuck! 肏
- I just found his finger! - What? -我发现了他的断指 -什么
I just found his fucking finger, Doug! 我他妈的刚发现了他的断指 道格
Phil, what is going on? 菲尔 出什么事了
Alright. Alright, alright... this is what we're gonna do. 好吧 我们就这样说
You tell the girls that we woke up early 你去告诉姑娘们 我们早上起来
and went on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are. 然后就去钓鱼了 听懂了吗
- Right. - Right, stay by the phone! -行 -好 保持联络
Shit! 肏
Uh, we got a little bit of a problem. 出了点小问题
What is that? 咋了
We don't know. 不知道
- Is it a worm? - It's a mushroom. -是条虫吗 -是蘑菇吧
Yeah, shiitake. 没错 是香菇
Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake? 猴子 尝尝看 是不是香菇
- He can't understand you. - He just did. -它哪懂得了人话 -它懂了
- Why is he pulling on it? - He's probably hungry. -它拉着那玩意干嘛 -可能是饿了吧
Wait a second. Is that... 等等 那个不是...
What the fuck, man! Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone! 搞什么啊 让那只基佬猴子离我远点
Chow? 周
You're fucking crazy. 你们真尼玛疯了
It's so fucking light in here! Alan, grab me my sunglasses! 这儿太亮啦 艾伦 把我的墨镜拿来
It's great to see you, Leslie! 真高兴见到你 莱雷
Nice to see you too my little popo. 你也是 小可爱
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here? 周 你在这搞什么飞机
Alan called me a few days ago and invited me to the wedding. 艾伦几天前给我打电话 叫我来参加婚礼
- Excuse me? - What, he's my plus one. -啥 -咋了 他是我的伴
You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate. 你没有伴 酒席上一个人可要两百美刀
Guys, guys. Just focus, okay? Chow, what happened? 伙计们 听他说 周 发生了什么
You guys texted me, said you're fucked up and looking to party. 你们给我发短信 说你们玩嗨了 还想跑趴
I picked you up on my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok. 我就开了船来接你们 把你们带到曼谷来了
But we had a sick night, bitches! 我们昨晚玩得超嗨 贱人们
Wait a second Chow, we're in Bangkok? 慢着 周 我们在曼谷
Holler, city of squalor. 是啦 淫乱之都
Do you know how I got this tattoo? 你知道我这纹身是怎么来的吗
Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy! 知道 一个纹身的家伙纹的呗
Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain. 醒醒吧 斯图 动动你的犹太脑袋瓜
What's the monkey holding? 猴子手上拿的什么
- That's a finger! - Stu, I got some bad news. -一截手指 -斯图 我有个坏消息
Teddy was with us last night. That's his finger. 泰迪昨晚跟我们在一起 那是他的手指
- Teddy's dead? - Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night! -泰迪死了吗 -没 他整晚都跟我们一起玩
- Well then where is he? - Don't you remember anything? -那他现在哪 -你什么都不记得了吗
- No! - No, nothing, Chow. -是啊 -啥都想不起来了 周
Okay, I explain it all, okay? 行 且听我一一道来
Just let me do one bump, get my head straight. Come to papa. 先让我来上一口 理清思绪 来吧
That's a big... 是不是有点多...
You ready for craziest fucking story ever... 准备好听屎上最疯狂的...
Chow! 周
Hey Chow, you okay? 周 你还好吗
You gotta be kidding me. 卧槽真的假的
Fuck, he's dead! 日 他挂了
- Help! - Stu! -救命 -斯图
- Help! - Stu, shut up! -救命 -斯图 闭嘴
- Call an ambulance! - Shut up! He's dead! -赶快叫急救 -闭嘴 他已经死了
Look, if someone comes and 听着 要是有人进来
finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine... 发现一具尸体和成堆的可卡因
We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking lives in a Thai prison. 我们就得在狗日的泰国监狱里烂掉了
Alan! Please don't cry! 艾伦 求你别哭了
Alright. Alright. I just need a second to figure this out. 好了 给我点时间理下思路
Ice machine located on 15th floor. 制冰机在十五楼
Look, this is the worst idea, ever. 听着 这是有史以来最烂的点子
What the fuck is this place? 他奶奶的这是哪
Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. 曼谷是泰国首都
Its population is 12 million people... 拥有一千二百万人口
Alan, will you help! 艾伦 过来搭把手
- The elevator! - I'll get the button! -电梯 -我去按开关
What the fuck is the deal with this monkey? 这猴子是怎么回事
That monkey gets it! 它懂我的意思了
- Come on! - Fuck no! -快点 -我日
The powers out. We gotta take the stairs. 没电了 我们得走楼梯
- Oh fuck! - Come on! -肏 -快来
Here it is! 到了
Feet first. I've done this before. 先放脚 我以前干过这事
Careful! 小心
- Stu! - What? -斯图 -怎么了
- We still have to find Teddy! - Oh god. -我们还得去找泰迪 -天啊
The roof! 楼顶
Teddy! 泰迪
- You guys see him? - No! -你们看到他了吗 -没
He's not here. 他不在这
I can't believe this is happening again. 我真不敢相信噩梦重演了
Okay, look. We'll handle this. You get back there. 听着 我们会处理好 你先回去
You tell them that Alan and 去跟他们说我和艾伦
I got drunk with him, we're still partying. 还有泰迪都喝高了 现在还在派对上
- You gotta go get married! - No! Not going back without Teddy! -你得先把婚结了 -不 没泰迪我就不回去
He's Lauren's little brother. He's lost, he's injured. 他是罗伦的弟弟 他迷路了 受伤了
If I fuck this up, I lose everything. 我这次要是搞砸了 就什么都没了
Okay. 行
Alright. 好吧
- Alan, check your pockets! - What? -艾伦 检查下你的口袋 -什么
You know the drill. C'mon there might be clues. 你知道规矩 可能会有线索
- Check your phones! Numbers, texts. - That's a good idea! -看看手机 号码 短信 -好主意
- I got nothing. Fuck! - I got an text from Chow. -我这什么都没有 肏 -我这有条周的短信
- What time? - Uh, 10 o'clock last night. -什么时候的 -昨晚十点
- What's it say? - "On my way, Niggahs" -什么内容 -"就来 渣渣们"
Oh, niggahs... hip hop. 渣渣们 够嘻哈
We are so... fucked! 我们真心...完了
Hey Phil! Look who's back! 菲尔 看看谁回来了
We gotta get you out of the sun. You're too hot. 你就别晒太阳了 你都热昏头了
Phil, I really think we should go to the American Consulate. 菲尔 我真觉得我们该去美国领事馆
For what? To report a dead body we shoved into an ice machine? 干什么 去报告我们把一具尸体扔到制冰机里吗
What are we gonna do? Keep walking around in circles? 那我们还能怎么办 继续兜圈子吗
Cause that's real productive. 那还真是有效率
You know I'm trying to figure this thing out here 我一直试图理清整件事
and your attitude is not helping. 你这算是什么态度
I'm sorry. It's a 100 degrees and we don't have a plan. 抱歉 都他妈十万火急了 我们却什么计划都没有
And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas. 混到现在光给他买帽子和汽水去了
What, it's a bag of Fanta! 说啥呢 明明是一袋芬达
Alright, what do you want to do, Stu? 行 你想怎么办 斯图
I don't know! 我不知道
Well then stop yelling at me like it's my fuckin fault. 那就别吼我 弄得好像是我的错一样
It is your fault! 就是你的错
All I wanted was a bachelor brunch. 我本来只想办个单身早午餐派对
Shit! Shut up! It's Doug! Talk to me! 肏 闭嘴 是道格 快说
I just got off the phone with Bangkok PD. 我刚跟曼谷警方联络过
They've got him. He's ok. 他们找到泰迪了 他没事
Oh thank god! Doug found him. 谢天谢地 道格找到泰迪了
- What happened? - He got arrested. -出什么事了 -他被捕了
- Arrested? For what? - Disorderly conduct. -被捕 为什么 -行为不检
- Seriously? - Yeah! He's ok though. -真的假的 -是啊 不过他没事
They'll release him to you. 曼谷警方会向你们放人
No questions asked. No one has to know. 不会问问题 没有人知道
He's at the Ratra Wang police station. 他在王赖查派出所
Ok. I'll call you when we get there. 行 我到了给你打电话
Teddy's in jail, but he's fine. We gotta get a cab. 泰迪在号子里 不过他没事 我们得拦辆的士
Okay! Alright! 行 太好了
- Yes, I have his paperwork here. - Okay. -这里是要填的文件 -好的
- He has been treated. - Sounds good. -他已经得到治疗了 -听起来不错
We're good. They've processed him for release. 现在没事了 他们在为泰迪办释放手续
They put him in the drunk tank. He's fine. 他们把他放在醒酒室里 他没事
Sixteen years old and spent a night in jail. Can you imagine? 十六岁就在号子里蹲了一宿 你能想象吗
Haha! We love to party. 我们爱派对
Here we go! 他来了
- Wait, who's this fuckin guy? - Teddy Sisay. -等等 这丫的是谁 -泰迪·西塞
No, no, no, no. That's the wrong guy! Sir! 不 不 不是这个人 警官
Excuse me, I'm sorry, officer. 不好意思 长官
You brought the wrong guy. That's not Teddy! 你带错人了 他不是泰迪
Of course it is! We have his ID's and everything! 怎么会不是 我们有他的身份证
These were in his pocket when we made the arrest. 我们逮捕他时 这些都在他的口袋里
They were in his pocket? 这些都在他的口袋里
Excuse me, sir! How did you get this stuff? 对不起 先生 你怎么拿到的这东西
Hello? 你好
Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English, Thai, Chinese... Nothing. 泰迪不说话 我们试过英语 泰语 中文 都不行
Let me ask you something. 我来问你
Does he look like he works out 这人像是在加州帕洛阿尔托的
at Bally Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California? 百丽完全健身房运动的人吗
Look. We arrest a lot of people. We cannot analyze everything. 听着 我们捉了很多人 没工夫一个个分析过来
- What do you expect us to do with this guy? - Not my problem! -那你要我怎么处理这个人 -不关我事
Hey guys, I think he knows us. 伙计们 我想他认识我们
You know where our friend is, Teddy? He's missing! 你知道我们的朋友泰迪在哪吗 他失踪了
- Stu, forget it. The guy's worthless. - He knows something! -斯图 算了 那家伙根本没用 -他知道什么
He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt. 他穿着泰迪的汗衫
Maybe he just doesn't understand. 他有可能只是不理解
I'll act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch. 我来演出来 就像哑谜一样 看好
- Two words. - Is it a movie? -两个词 -是电影吗
This is not for you, Alan! 不是让你猜 艾伦
- American teenager... in Asia. - Karate Kid, with Jaden Smith. -美国少年 在亚洲 -"功夫梦" 贾登·史密斯主演
It's easy 'cause you're talking to him. 这很容易 因为你在对他说话
Stu, it's a waste of time! Just leave this fucking guy here. 斯图 别浪费时间了 就把这家伙留在这
Here's something. 听听这个
There are 500 thousand monks living in Thailand. 泰国有五十万僧侣
It is not uncommon for some monks 有些人八岁的时候就立下缄誓
to take a vow of silence, at the age of eight. 这很常见
There you go. 这下好了
- Anything else in that envelope? - Nah, it's empty. -信封里还有什么吗 -没 空了
Hang on, a drink card from White Lion bar in Bangkok? 等等 一张曼谷的白狮酒吧免费券
Worth a shot. 值得一试
Jesus christ! Is this the right street? 我的天 是这地方吗
That's what it says. 上面是这么写
Whoa! This is the White Lion! 看 这就是白狮酒吧
What the fuck happened here? 卧槽到底发生了什么
Holy shit! 我勒个擦
- Let's... - We should probably... -我们还是 -我们应该
That's ok. 不要紧
What the fuck is going on here? 这里到底搞毛
Whoa, guys. Check it out! 各位 看看这个
Holy shit! Stu, look! 我肏 斯图 看
That's my face. 那是我的脸
Nice work, Alan! 干得好 艾伦
- Hello? - Be with you in a minute! -有人吗 -马上就来
- Excuse me. - Oh, look who it is! -不好意思 -看看谁来了
- So what do ya think? - What, I'm sorry? -你觉得怎么样 -对不起 你说什么
- The tattoo. You love it? - Uh, no. Actually, I hate it. -纹身 喜欢吗 -不 实际上 我很讨厌
- No refunds. Get the fuck out! - Wait a second! -不退款 快滚 -等等
Read the sign! 看看标牌
We don't want any refunds. We just have a couple of questions. 我们不是来要退钱 我们只是有些问题
We're trying to figure out what went down last night. 我们想知道昨晚都发生了什么
What went down? Take a look at what you did outside. 发生了什么 看看你们在外面干了啥
Half the neighborhood went down. 半个小区都被你们弄垮了
- We did that? - You don't -我们干的 -你不记得自己
remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion? 在白狮酒吧跟别人打起来了吗
Starting a full-on fucking riot? 发起了一场大暴动
Sir, we don't remember anything. 先生 我们什么都不记得了
Oh boy... 天哪
Check this out! 看看这个
Oh shit! 我肏
Fuck the Police! 条子玩蛋去
There's Teddy! He was with us! 那是泰迪 他跟我们在一起
Jesus christ! 我的神哪
That's when the cops arrived and started cracking skulls. 这是警察来了之后 开始打人的画面
I took you guys and hid you in the shop here. 我把你们藏在店里
Then you decided to get a tattoo. You cried like a little bitch. 后来你决定纹个身 叫得像个小娘们
This kid is fucking nine years old. 这小子才他妈的九岁
He's got balls twice your size. 他的蛋儿[胆]却有你的两倍大
- Show him your balls, Nao! - No, no, no. That's ok. -给他看看 老 -不 不 不 没关系
Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy. Have you seen him? 听着 我们在找我们的朋友泰迪 你见过他吗
Not since last night. Why? What happened? 昨晚后就没有了 咋了 出什么事了
Yeah, I'm supposed to marry 我明天本来准备要迎娶
his sister tomorrow and we kinda lost him. 他姐姐 结果却把他弄丢了
- Oh well. Then fuck it! - What do you mean, fuck it? -行 那就算了吧 -你什么意思 "算了吧"
Bangkok has him now and she'll never let him go. 曼谷把他淹没了 这下别想找到他了
You hear that, huh? Is this what you wanted? You happy now? 你听到了吧 这就是你想要的吗 你高兴了吗
You're wasting your time. 你在浪费时间
These monks take their vow shit seriously. 这些僧侣对誓言可是很当真
Look at this. That's the sign 看看这个 这是
of the Chang Mai Monastery, just outside of town. 张迈寺的符号 就在城市外面
Maybe somebody over there can get him to talk. 也许那边有人能让他开口说话
Ok, can we just go over this one more time? 行 我们再把事情过一遍
You got the beer from... 你从宾馆吧台
- The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case. - Right. -拿来啤酒 他们给了我一箱没拆的 -对
- But, who gave it to you? - The bartender. -可是 酒是谁给你的 -酒保
And then you brought them out and I opened them. 后来你把它们带了过来 我打开了
Yeah, and Doug had one and he was fine, so it's not the beer. 没错 道格抽了一瓶却没事 所以不是啤酒的问题
- So what the hell happened? - I have no idea! -那到底出了什么事 -我不知道
Hey guys. Check it out. He's got a Chinese boner. 伙计们 看看这 他长了根中国大屌
Alan, come on! Cut it out! 艾伦 得了 别闹了
- That is so wrong! - Don't stop monkey, keep doing it. -这太不尊敬人了 -别停啊猴子 继续咬
When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language! 要是猴子咬上老二 什么人都会笑
Keep doing it! 继续啊
Alright, thank you! 好了 谢谢
Bye Shannon! Bye Little Wayne! 再见莎伦 再见小维恩
Wow! So beautiful! 真漂亮
What is this, a PF Chang's? 这是啥 中菜馆吗
Ah, they're meditating. 他们在冥想
- Such a peaceful people! - Yeah. -真是一群平和的人 -是啊
- Knock, knock! Hello! - Alan! Show some respect! -敲敲门 你们好 -艾伦 放尊重点
- Don't get up guys. - We brought one of your guys back. -不用起来 各位 -我们把你们中的一员带回来了
He's really funny. He's really nice and cool. 他真的很搞笑 人好又酷
Hi, how you doing. You the one in charge? 你好 你是管事的人吗
- Excuse me... ow... Wait! - Stop it! Calm down! -不好意思 等等 -别打了 淡定
Hold on. It's because we're talking. 等会 因为我们在说话
God damn it! Oh! Stop! 该死的 别打了
Wait, it's me! 等等 是我
Oh I get it. 我懂了
No talk! No talk! Shh.. Ok... 安静 安静
Ok. 好了
Late last night, you climbed the walls of our monastery. 昨天深夜 你们越过寺院高墙
Shouting out questions about love, 大声喧嚣 嚷着关于爱
marriage and the meaning of life. 婚姻 以及生命意义的问题
Poor brother Han was meditating alone in the garden. 可怜的韩师兄当时正独自一人在花园里打坐
- And you took him. - Oh my god! -你们却把他掳走了 -我的天
- We kidnapped a monk. - We live an alternative life style. -我们绑架了一位僧侣 -我们活着另一种人生
We are so sorry about that, but we weren't ourselves last night. 我们对此很抱歉 但是昨晚我们都喝高了
Yep, things kinda spun outta control a little bit. 是的 事情有点失控
But there's a boy who's missing and hurt. 但有个男孩失踪并受伤了
Can you find out if he knows where our friend is? 您能不能帮我们问问韩长老 看他知不知道我们的朋友在哪
Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago. 韩师兄多年前便立下缄誓
It would be useless to try. 试图让他开口是不可能的
Well maybe he can write down what happened, on a piece of paper? 那让他在纸上写下来 可以吗
Actually Phil, that would be cheating. 实际上 菲尔 这是作弊
Isn't that right, Grand Wizard. 是不是 大法师
- Alan! - I'm afraid fatty is right. -艾伦 -肥仔说的没错
See?... What? 看到没 你说我啥
None of us will ever know what brother Han knows. 我们永远不会知道韩兄弟知道的事
Oh, alright. Well, so much for holy people. 行 真好 太谢谢你们这些圣人了
Bunch of bald assholes. C'mon, let's go. 一帮混账秃驴 来 我们走
Hey you know what! FYI, 知道吗 仅供参考
You may want to put some signs up that say no talking... 建议你们开始胡乱打人之前
before you unleash your dragon. 安个不准说话的牌子
Yeah, that was a little rough. 有点过了吧
And "You are welcome" for bringing him back safe. 还有 不用谢我们把他平安带回来
You know we found him in the drunk tank. 你知道 我们在醒酒室发现他
Yeah well, we did take him in the first place. 是啊 但一开始也是我们把他掳走的
- C'mon guys, let's go. - Wait! -伙计们 走了 -等等
The Buddha teach, every memory lives somewhere deep within. 佛家有云 每段记忆都根植在内心深处
Perhaps you should bring your question 也许你们应该将问题
to the Garden of Meditation. 带到冥想花园中解决
Did you understand a word he just said? 你听懂他刚才的话了吗
Yeah, yeah. About two thirds. 大概三分之二吧
He said something about the Garden of Meditation? 他提到了什么"冥想花园"
No, he said he's farting because of his medication. 不 他说自己因为冥想放了个屁
I get that. 我懂了
It's a waste of time. I don't remember anything. Do you? 这真是浪费时间 我什么都记不起来 你呢
No. I got nothing. Alan? 我也一样 艾伦你呢
Alan! 艾伦
"Every memory lives somewhere deep within" "每段记忆都根植在内心深处"
- Sweetie. - What? -亲爱的 -干嘛
You have visitors. 有人找你
- Hey, Alan! - Hey, guys! -你好 艾伦 -你们好
- Hey, Phil. - Hey buddy! -你好 菲尔 -你好 老兄
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding. 斯图要邀请你参加他的婚礼
- Is this true, Stuart? - Yeah, why not. It'll be fun. -是真的吗 斯图 -是啊 当然了 会很有意思的吧
Fuck! 肏
- For Lauren and Stu! - Cheers! -敬罗伦和斯图 -干杯
- Chow! - We had a sick night, bitches! -周 -我们昨晚玩得可嗨了 贱人们
Alan, what the fuck! 艾伦 我肏
Is that person coming to the wedding? 这货也是来参加婚礼的吗
- There is no wolfpack. - Alan, Alan, don't do that! -别提什么狼友 -艾伦 艾伦 别那样
And finally... The three best friends anyone could have. 最后 三个全世界最好最好的哥们儿
Fuck the Police! 条子玩蛋去
I know where to go. 我知道该去哪儿了
- What do you think, Alan? - This is the place. -你觉得呢 艾伦 -就是这儿
C'mon. Let's go. 来吧 咱们进去
I don't remember any of this! 我可不记得这些玩意
- Yeah Alan, you sure this is the place? - Yeah, pretty sure. -是啊 艾伦 你确定就是这吗 -对 没错
Rose! Harmony! 小玫 小和
Is he coming or what? I've been waiting all day for him. 他还来不 我都等他一整天了
- I'm sorry. Waiting for who? - Chow, that dick ass fuck! -不好意思 等谁 -周那傻屄
- Why? What's wrong? - Nothings wrong. -怎么 出什么事了 -没出什么事
Ok, good. Look at this. 好吧 看这个
Look what I bring for him. Check it out, huh. 看我给他弄了个什么 看看
- No, no! - $ 6,000 American. -不是吧 -六千美刀
Wow looks so real! 看着跟真的一样
Sorry! 对不起
It's ok. The gun, it's very sensitive. 没事 这枪 很好用
Everybody ok? 大家都没事吧
Ok, then get the fuck back to work! Come on. Music, please! 好 那就他娘的该干嘛干嘛去 放音乐
Where is my 6,000 dollars? 我那六千块呢
6,000? No, no, no. This is Chow's deal. 六千 不 不 这是周的生意
We got nothing to do with that. 跟我们没关系
Un-fucking believable. 真他妈不敢相信
This guy, if he backs out again, 这家伙 要是他又怂了
the shits gonna catch up with him. 他可得吃不了兜着走
He's made a lot of enemies in this town, 他在这城里树敌众多
and now they're gonna be your enemies. 从现在开始你们也好不到哪去了
That's not fair! 这不公平
Ok listen. We're just looking for a little kid. 听着 我们就想找个孩子
- 2,000 dollars. - What! -两千块 -什么
I don't know, maybe more. How young you want this kid to be? 不清楚 可能还要贵点 你要多大的小孩
No, no! Sorry, you misunderstood. 不 不好意思 你误会了
We're looking for our friend... 16 years old. 我们是想找个朋友 十六岁
- Teddy. - Teddy? -泰迪 -泰迪
- Yeah he was here with you guys last night. - He was? -对 他昨晚和你们一起来的 -是吗
Do you know if he left with us? 他有和我们一起走吗
I don't know. You were in the corner all night with Kimmy. 不知道 你们一晚上都在拐角和吉米一块
- I didn't see you leave. - Kimmy? -我没注意你们走了 -吉米
- Is she here? - Yes, she's in the back. -她现在在吗 -在 她在后台
She just came for her shit. 她来拿她的东西
Go and talk to her. 去找她谈谈吧
Alright, listen. I'm sorry about everything that happened. 好吧 听着 我很抱歉这些事情
Listen to me, ok? 听我说 行吗
Pay attention to what I'm going to talk to you know. 仔细听好老子说的话
When you see Chow, you tell him Samir says "Hello". 你们见到周之后 告诉他 萨米尔说"你好啊"
Okay! 行
But do it like that, ok! "Hello" Like threatening. Like, ironic. 照这样说 明白吗 威胁的那种 "你好啊" 说反话那种
- "Hellooo" - Okay! -"你好啊~" -行
Go away! Go away! 滚吧你
Of course I remember him. He was buying shots for everyone. 我当然记得他 他给所有人买酒喝
Nice kid! His parents must be so proud. 好孩子 他爸妈肯定可骄傲了
You have no idea. 那还用说
Ok, so do you remember if he left with us? 你记得他最后和我们一起走了吗
Yeah, you were all leaving together, 对 你们都是一块儿走的
but you almost forgot this one right here. 不过你们差点落下了这哥们
Right, super star? 对吧 大帅哥
This one was following me 这哥们一直围着我转
around like a little puppy dog. All night. 像只小狗一样 一整晚
Saying he'd fallen in love with me. Asked me to marry him. 说他爱上我了 还让我嫁给他
Classic Stu! 这就是斯图
- We didn't get married, did we? - Course not! -我们没真结婚吧 -当然没
We just had some fun in the Chardonnay room. 我们只是在贵宾房里爽了一把
- What happens in the Chardonnay room? - Let's just stay on task. -我们在那干什么了 -咱们还是回到正题上吧
I danced for him. He tickled me. We had sex. 我跳舞给他看 他挑逗我 我们做爱了
- Fuck! - It's ok. You're not married yet. -肏 -没关系 你还没结婚呢
- No big deal. - It's cheating! -没关系的 -这是劈腿
No offense to you. You're a lovely woman. 不是有意冒犯 你是个美女
It's a violation of my moral code. 这简直是在强奸我的道德法则
Don't be sad. Stu you loved it. 别难过了 斯图 你还挺享受的
You were crying, saying how special it was. 你哭着喊着说那有多特别
- Wait! I'm sorry. He was crying? - What a baby. He was crying. -等等 不好意思 他哭了 -真是个爱哭鬼 他哭了
You should have seen him. 你们没见着真可惜
He was so sexy. The way he moved around. 他太性感了 扭成那样
I had to ask him to slow down so I didn't drop my load too quick. 我不得不让他慢点儿 免得我射得太早
- Load? What load? - Oh, you know... My sperms. -射 射什么 -你懂的 射精啊
I think your English is off. You're talking about my sperm! 我觉得你英语不太地道 你是想说我射精吧
- Where would your sperm come from? - From my balls! -你哪来的精 -我蛋里长的
- Hold on! Back up! - Wait... Are you... -等等 不是吧 -等等 难道你是
Hey. You're in Bangkok, sweetie. 这就是曼谷 宝贝儿
- There's a reason they don't call it "Bang-cunt". - Oh! -这就是为什么曼谷不叫漫股 -肏
- Oh god! - Wow. -哇靠 -日
I don't get it. Is this a magic show? 我没懂 这是什么魔术吗
Come on, Stu, it was beautiful. We climaxed at the same time. 拜托 斯图 可美了 我们同时高潮了
How's that work? 这怎么可能
Shoot my load into you. Shoot your load on the floor. 我射进你身体 你射到地上
- Ok! - You ruined me. Ruined bottom. -好了 -你完爆了我...的菊
Oh god! 噢天哪
Stu! It's not the end of the world. 斯图 又不是世界末日
Sorry, but I'm so confused. 对不起 可我太纠结了
I made love to a man... with boobies. 我被一个 有胸的男人干了
Listen. I promise you no ones ever gonna find out about this. 听着 我保证没人会知道这事
But we found out about it. 可我们自己知道
And then we forget. That's what we do! 那我们就忘了他 我们会的
I do so much fucked up shit. And I just forget about it. 我干过的肏蛋事多了 我全都忘了
- Yeah? - Yeah! Just forget! It goes away! -啊 -对啊 忘了就行 会淡忘的
That might be harder to go away, but in time it'll happen. 这事可能是有点难忘 但总会忘记的
I certainly do. Just gonna forget about it. 我肯定会的 忘了它就行
- Never happened. - Great! -就当没发生过 -好的
Phone! Phone! Who is it? Answer! 电话 电话 是谁 快接
Lauren's dad. He just reminded me... 罗伦老爸 他又让我想起了
- Answer it! - I can't. -快接 -不行
What! He might know something about Teddy. 什么 他可能有泰迪的消息
C'mon we still have a shot here. 拜托 这可是个好机会
Get your head back into the fucking game, Stu! 快他妈干你该干的事 斯图
Hello? 喂
Who takes an all day fishing trip the day before a wedding? 怎么会有人在婚礼前一天跑去钓一整天鱼
- Yeah, I guess that is kinda stupid. - Put Teddy on the phone. -嗯 我也觉得有点傻 -让泰迪接电话
- Teddy's seasick actually. - Seasick? -泰迪晕船晕得厉害 -晕船
Teddy's been a Maritime cadet since he was nine. 泰迪从九岁开始就是见习海员了
That's weird, cause he's puking everywhere. 那可怪了 他吐的到处都是
I'm gonna tell you something that you do not know. 我要跟你说点你不知道的事情
- I don't like you. - Yeah, I knew that already. -我不喜欢你 -嗯 这我早知道了
If my daughter chooses you, that's her problem. 我女儿选了你 那是她的问题
Hey it's Phil Winnick! 我是菲尔·维尼克
Listen, I apologize. We've been 对不起 我们被
reelin in some crazy Marlin and I just wanna say... 好些枪鱼弄得头晕目眩 我想说
Phil! 菲尔
- Jesus! - Phil! -天啊 -菲尔
Fuck me! 我肏
- Give us back our monkey! - What monkey? Get your own monkey! -把我们的猴子还来 -什么猴子 自己找去
Come on, you asshole, the fucking monkey! 拜托 你这傻屄 就那猴子
Come on! 拜托
Anytime, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us! 赶紧的 艾伦 他用枪指着咱们
This is our monkey! 这是咱们的猴子
No one's getting shot over a fucking monkey! 别为了个破猴子害咱们吃枪子儿
Hand him over, now! 快给他 快
God, I've never given him no monkeys. 天啊 我真不想给他猴子
No, no ... 不 不
Hey Phil, check it out. 菲尔 快看
He's got a banana on his helmet. He's the real deal. 他那头盔上有个香蕉 这小子真行
What the fuck's happening? 这他妈怎么回事
Hold on! How did this happen? Do you know where our friend is? 等等 怎么回事 知道我们的朋友在哪吗
- Yeah. Sixteen years old. Asian kid. -[Russian] -对 十六岁那个 亚洲小孩 -[俄语]
No, I don't understand what you said! No, I didn't understand! 不 我听不懂你们说什么 我听不懂
What'd he say? 他说什么了
He said fuck you and your questions! 他说 去你妈的傻屄问题
- Oh, my arm! - Philip, are you okay? -我的手 -菲利普 你没事吧
Oh I got shot! Fuck! Fuck this! 我中枪了 肏 我肏
It's alright, Phil! It's alright! 没事的 菲尔 没事的
We'll figure this out and get the monkey back, I promise. 我们会查清楚 还会找回猴子的 我保证
Who gives a fuck about the monkey! 谁他妈要那猴子了
What the fuck is going on? 这他妈的怎么回事
Stu, am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor. 斯图 我会没事吗 你可是医生
I don't know, let me look! 不知道 让我看看
What? 什么
Don't look at it! 别看
Stuart Price! Get your ass back over here! 斯图亚特·普瑞斯 快他妈滚过来
- You got shot! - I know! -你中枪了 -我知道
- Whoa, you all right? - Yeah, I'm ok. -你没事吧 -我没事
Actually, bullet just grazed my arm. Eight stitches. 其实 也就是擦伤了点 缝了八针
Only cost six dollars. How is that even possible? 才六块钱 真不可思议
How's any of this even possible? 这一切都不可思议好吗
If I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead. 我要是当时往左站那么一步 斯图 我就死翘了
What are we gonna do? 我们怎么办
I'm sorry guys. This wasn't part of the plan. 不好意思 哥几个 这可不是原计划
- What plan, Alan? - I've said too much already. -什么原计划 艾伦 -我说得太多了
Alan! What plan? 艾伦 什么计划
- It's all Teddy's fault. - What are you talking about, Alan? -都怪泰迪 -你说什么呢 艾伦
Why is he even here? He's not part of the wolf pack! 他为什么要来 他根本就不是我们狼友啊
- Alan, what did you do? - It's not my fault! -艾伦 你到底做了什么 -不是我的错
Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag. 泰迪真不该跟我们分那包
- What bag? - The marshmallows. -那包什么 -棉花糖
I had a separate bag just for Teddy. 我专门给泰迪准备了一包
But it was dark and it was hard to keep track. 但是天黑了 分不太清
And then, you almost sat on em. I couldn't tell which was which. 然后 你差点坐了上去 我分不清哪包是哪包
- It was mayhem! - What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan? -乱七八糟 -你把那包棉花糖怎么了
Alan, what did you do? 艾伦 你做了什么
Isn't it obvious? 这还不明显
I spiked them with muscle relaxers. And plus my ADHD medication. 我加了点我的肌肉松弛剂 和多动症抑制剂
- What? - You drugged us again?! -什么 -你又给我们下药了
Not you! I just wanted to knock out Teddy 不是你们 我只是想让泰迪
for a little while so we could finally enjoy the weekend. 晕乎一小会儿 咱们就可以好好过个周末了
Enjoy the weekend? Alan, you told me that you didn't do anything! 好好过周末你个熊 艾伦 你还说你什么都没干
Alan, you swore to god! 艾伦 你还信誓旦旦的
I just wanted things to stay the same. 我就想咱们能像以前那样
Look at my face! You ruined my life! 看我的脸 你毁了我的下半生
You're not my friend! 我没你这种朋友
Don't say that, Phil! You're serious? Even in America? 别那么说 菲尔 你说真的 在美国也一样吗
- Yes! - Oh God! Don't say that, Phil! -一样 -天啊 别那样 菲尔
- Don't start crying, Alan! - You're the bearded devil! -别哭 艾伦 -你这大胡子恶魔
You liked it! You smiled at me 你还挺喜欢 我给你那包棉花糖的时候
when I handed you the bag with marshmallows. 你还冲我笑来着
Because I like marshmallows, you fucking psycho! 因为我他妈喜欢吃棉花糖 你这脑残
Hey! Whoa! Hold on! Hold住
Enough! 够了
- Why, Alan? Why? - Stu! -为什么 艾伦 为什么要这样 -斯图
Because we're the three best friends, remember? 因为我们仨是最好的朋友 还记得吗
Remember? 记得吗
Stu, that's enough... 斯图 到此为止吧
Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta stick together. 哥几个 咱们不能散 得团结起来
- Alan, what's that written on your belly? - What? Huh? -艾伦 你肚子上写着什么 -什么啊
Lebua Hotel, Saturday six pm. 周六晚六点 莲花大酒店
- You write that? - No! -这是你写的吗 -不是
Shit, that's in 20 minutes. 日 只剩二十分钟了
What about England, Phil? Will we still be friends there? 那英国呢 菲尔 在英国能和我做朋友吗
Alan, I already told you. It was in the heat of the moment. 艾伦 我跟你说过了 那是气话
We're still friends. All over the world. 咱们还是哥们 全世界哪儿都一样
- Even Great Britain? - Yeah. -英国也一样吗 -对
What about you, Stu? 你呢 斯图
We'll see. 再说吧
Gentlemen, follow me. 先生们 跟我来
Here you go. 就这儿
Well. About time! Sit down. 正是时候 坐吧
Come on, sit. 来吧 坐好
Wow, you guys look like shit. 你们看起来真傻屄
Uh, do we know you? 你认识我们吗
Take off your fuckin hat. 把你那傻屄帽子摘了
You're in a restaurant for christs sake. C'mon. 你他妈可是在餐厅里呢 拜托
Ok, listen. We have no clue what's going on here. 听着 我们不知道究竟发生了什么
You know, they sell a Plum whiskey here, it's fuckin unreal. 他们这儿居然有李子威士忌 太他妈假了
Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up! 说真的 来一点儿就能让你们完蛋
Oh, I'm sorry. You guys already got fucked up, didn't you. 不好意思 你们已经完蛋了 对吧
Uh, listen, I'm a little confused. How did you... 我有点儿乱 你怎么
You know what? I am a little fuckin confused! 是嘛 我奶奶地也有点儿乱
Where's Chow? 周呢 还有
With the fuckin account code and the fuckin password! 那狗日的账号密码呢
We don't know anything about any codes. 我们不知道什么账号的事儿
We're just trying to find our friend. 我们只是想找一个朋友
- Teddy? - Yes! Teddy! Have you seen? -泰迪 -对 泰迪 你见过吗
Hmm, let's see... 咱们看看
There's Teddy! 那是泰迪
Holy shit! It's from last night. 我肏 那是昨晚
- Who are you? - I'm a businessman. -你是谁 -我是个生意人
And I've invested a large chunk of capital in your friend Chow. 我在你们哥们周身上投了一大笔钱
And in return, he was 相应的 他得
supposed to transfer my profits electronically. 把我的利润电子转账过来
About five fuckin minutes ago. 妈屄的五分钟以前就该转了
So last night, we took Teddy as insurance. 所以昨晚 我们带走了泰迪作为保证
- Oh my god! Is he okay? - Oh my god, I wasn't done talking. -我擦 他没事吧 -擦你妹 我还没说完
You tell Chow, that we are 你们告诉周
having breakfast on the roof of this hotel... 明早八点 在这间酒店顶层
...tomorrow morning at eight am. 我们一起吃顿早饭
Or if he makes the transfer, you will get Teddy. 要是他转好了 我就放了泰迪
If not well then hey, you know... it's Bangkok. 要是还没转好 你们懂的 这就是曼谷
That's your cue to get the fuck out of here. 这话的意思就是 你们可以滚了
Hey, you know what? Leave the hat. 你猜怎么着 帽子留下
Alan leave the hat. 艾伦 留下那帽子
Atta boy. 乖孩子
We're fucked! Chow's dead. What do we do now? 我们完蛋了 周死了 现在怎么办
The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow, 那家伙根本不鸟什么周
Stu. This whole things about a fucking bank account. 斯图 而是那个天煞的银行账号
Let's just go back to the hotel. We'll search Chow's body. 咱们回旅馆吧 找找周的尸体
Hopefully the password's in his wallet or something. 但愿密码会在他钱包里之类的
- And what if it isn't? - He's gonna kill Teddy. -要是不在呢 -那他就会杀了泰迪
Just relax. We have until 8am tomorrow to figure it out. 别紧张 八点之前 我们还有时间来解决
First the monkey and now my hat. How much worse can this day get. 先是猴子没了 然后是我的帽子 今天真是背透了
Jesus christ! 耶稣啊
Well we're livin here in Alan town. 我们住在 艾伦镇上
And he's drivin our lives into the ground. 他带着我们 一路驶向绝望
When we woke up we were wasted and drunk. 我们一觉醒来 发现醉成那样
Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk. 菲尔中枪 我们被和尚打伤
I was happy, and my life was good. 我特幸福 人生风调雨顺
Getting married like a dentist should. 像个正常的牙医一样 准备结婚
Roasting marshmallows on a stick. 烤着棉花糖 举着小木棍
I got fucked in the ass... by a girl with a dick. 突然就被个长鸡巴的女孩 走了后门
Oh yeah, remember that. 这鸟事儿可忘不了
And we're livin in Alan town. 我们住在 艾伦镇上
There's water everywhere. 到处都是水
Yeah it's cause it melted, Stu. The fuckin powers out. 因为冰化了 斯图 尼玛停电了
With an inadequate electrical grid, serving millions of people 由于为数百万人供电的电网功率不足
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year. 曼谷每年会经历1500次停电
Seriously, Alan. That's enough! 说真的 艾伦 别念叨了
Out of the way! 让开
We got it. 搞定了
Oh my god! 我的天啊
Chow, calm down! 周 冷静点
- You put the chill on me? - No, no! -是你们把我冻上的吗 -不是
It's okay. 没事的
Relax! 放松
It's just us. Breathe! 就我们几个 深呼吸
It was so cold. 太冷了
- We're gonna warm you up. - I was so cold! -我们会让你暖和起来 -那么冷
- You did good, buddy. You did good. - I did good. -你没事的 兄弟 没事的 -我没事
Feelin better? 感觉好点儿了吗
- Alright, you warm enough? - I don't know. -好了吗 暖起来了吗 -不知道
Come feel my balls and tell me. 不如你来摸摸我的蛋 告诉我吧
I've been locked in a fuckin ice box all day! 我他妈在冰柜里呆了一整天
Hey Alan, if you want my sunglasses... 艾伦 你要是想要咱的墨镜
...just ask Chow. You don't have to kill me. 就直接跟咱说 用不着宰了我
Chow, nobody killed you. 周 没人要宰你
You were already dead. You didn't have a pulse. 你已经死透了 连脉搏都没有
Oh, you never do blow before? 你没吸过粉吧
Sometimes your heart stop... start up again. 有时候你的心跳会暂时停止 然后又开始跳
- Read a book! - Look I'm sorry. We're having a bad day. -多读点书 -对不起 我们今天很不顺
Oh, you're having a bad day! Did you die? 去你妈屄的不顺 你们死了吗
- I got shot! - But did you die? -我中枪了 -你死了吗
Chow, some guy told us that you got a bank code or something... 周 有个家伙说你有个银行账号什么的
...and if we don't bring it to him first think in the morning... 要是我们明天一大早不给他的话
...he's gonna kill Teddy. 他就要杀了泰迪
Who, Kingsley? He harmless. Don't worry. I got the bank codes. 谁 金斯利 他可怂了 别怕 我有账号
Great! Alright, we gotta meet him at 8am. 太好了 首先 我们明早八点得去找他
Who is that fuckin guy, anyway? 那傻屄到底是谁啊
- An investor in my business. - Yeah, what business is that? -他投资了我的业务 -什么业务
It's called "Not your business" Ok! "跟你没关系的业务"
- Oh, where's the monkey? - The monkey... -那猴子哪儿去了 -那猴子
Yeah I put the account number 对 我把账号密码
and password in his vest. Where is he? 放到它背心里了 它在哪儿
- Why would you do that? - Safe keeping, pretty boy. -你为什么放那儿 -为了保密 靓仔
I got a lotta heat on my ass. 我屁股后面跟着一帮子人
I got FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC... FBI 曼谷警方 国际刑警 MSNBC电视台
That little monkey snorting coke with me all night... 那小猴子跟我吸了一整晚的粉
Jerkin me off while I watched Stu make fuckin lady boy. 我看着斯图肏那人妖的时候 它还帮我打手枪
- He not going anywhere. - We don't have the monkey, Chow. -它不会离开我 -猴子不在我们手上 周
Oh, some Russian thugs took him from us. 几个俄罗斯混混把它抢走了
Oh you fucking guys! 你们几个傻屄
Okay. No problem. We just have to get him back. 好吧 没问题 我们把它找回来就行
- From where? - From the same place we took him from. -去哪儿找 -就去我们抓到它的地方
This monkey isn't just normal monkey. 这可不是一般的猴子
Every night, monkey drug mule. 每天晚上 它都出来贩毒
He take coke to buyer... 它把可卡因带给买主
And deliver cash to dealer. He middle man. 然后把现金交给卖主 它是中间人
Dealer never handle drug directly. 卖主从不亲自送货
He clean. 干净得很
- That's terrible. - Not terrible. -太离谱了 -不离谱
What he talking about. Fucking genius. 他说什么呢 这点子老灵了
You ever see monkey go to jail? 你见过猴子蹲监狱吗
We just take the monkey for deal, 我们只要假装交易
he come close, we take his vest. That's that. 等它过来了 我们就抢走它的背心 就这么着
We get some blow too, you know... 要不还能来点儿货
- bump. - No, no more bumps, Chow. -吸上一口 -不 不许吸了 周
This is ridiculous. 莫名其妙
Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Shake your monkey. 斯图 周爷不会吹口哨 把猴子叫来
Alright, here we go. 好了 来吧
Come on! 拜托
How did we wind up with the monkey last night anyway? 我们昨晚到底怎么跟这猴子扯上的关系
I needed some blow and Alan thought he was cute... 我想来点儿货 艾伦又觉得它很可爱
...so we stole him! 我们就偷了它
So stupid! 真够蠢
Stu, ready to grab vest? 斯图 准备扒它背心
- Okay. I just grab it? - Yeah, just do it. Just do it. -好 我就这么扒了 -对 快扒
- Hey, little monkey. - Alan, be quiet. -小猴子 -艾伦 别出声
- Fuck! - We gotta go, right now! -肏 -快走 赶紧的
- Pull that fuckin monkey in! - I'm trying! -把那傻屄猴子拽进来 -我拽着呢
- Get that monkey in here, Stu! - He won't let go! -把那猴子弄进来 斯图 -它不松手
Stu, get back in the car! Right now! 斯图 把它抓进来 快
I'm trying! Slow down! 我这不拉着么 慢点
He's so strong! 它力气真大
Let go you fuckin monkey! 放手 该死的猴子
- Look out! - Oh shit! Tight squeeze! -小心 -妈呀 抓紧了
I got him! 我成功了
- Where's the code, Chow? - Check his little vest. -密码在哪儿 周 -它的背心里
- Got it, Alan? - Yes, I got a code. -找到没 艾伦 -找到了
- Slow down Chow! - Hold on, J-Birds. -慢点开 周 -坐稳了 逃犯们
Holy Shit! 卧了个槽
Don't worry. I got this shit! 别吵 好戏在后头
Pig! 猪肉
Oh, my word. 我的七舅老爷
Sorry, Stu! My bad! 抱歉 斯图 是我不好
Oh, shit! 卧槽
Get down! 低头
What the fuck! 奶奶个熊
Oh no! He shot the monkey! 不 他打中了猴子
They shot the monkey. 他们打中了猴子
I'm at my wits end. 我整个人都傻屄了
He's coming back around. 他又过来了
Look out! 当心
- Holy fuck! - Oh no... -妈了个屄 -肏
- Everybody alright? - Yeah. -大家没事吧 -没事
I have such an erection right now! 老子整个人都硬了
Are you for real? 你太夸张了吧
They're gonna take good care of you here, ok. 他们会照顾好你 好吗
What's that? 说什么
Oh, yeah. Cigarettes. Got em right here. Here you go. 对 香烟 这儿有 给你
Right here. 点上
Deep breathe. Good. 好好享受吧 乖
Soak it in. 吸进去
Breathe the smoke into your tiny little lungs. There you go. 你那小小的肺好好享受吧 就是那样
It's funny. I've never been much of a smoker, but... 有意思 虽然我不怎么抽烟
Boy does it look cool on you. 可是伙计 你抽烟的样子很酷
Alan, c'mon! Let's go! 艾伦 别磨蹭了 该走了
I'll miss you, monkey. 我会想你的 猴子
I wish monkeys could Skype. 我希望猴子会用Skype
Maybe one day... 也许以后会
Come on! Get in! 快点 上车
If I could save time in the bottle 如果能把时光存进瓶子
The first thing that I'd like to do 我要做的第一件事
Is to save every day 就是收藏每一天
Till eternity passes away 直到你我再相见
just to spend them with you 只为了与你一起度过
Are you guys seriously this calm? 你们怎么这么淡定
Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo. 别紧张 斯图尔特 简单交易而已
I give him money, he gives us Teddy. 我给钱 他放人
You ever do anything that doesn't 你不会每次生意
end up in a standoff, Chow? 都落到这种下场吧 周
I'm an international criminal. It always ends like this. 我是江洋大盗 这种事我干得多了
I met my wife at one of these things. 在这期间还碰到了我老婆
- You got a wife? - Yeah, we married 15 years. -你有老婆 -对 我们结婚有15年了
What, I not good looking enough for woman? 怎么 我这么帅还找不到女人吗
No, that's cool. 不是 这没什么
Let's do this! 干活儿吧
- Welcome to the Tower Club. - Blah blah blah, who cares. -欢迎光临塔楼会馆 -废话 谁理你们
Stop! Chow crossing. 停 周大爷驾到
- Hey, Kingsley! - Well, well. -矮油 金斯利 -你好呀
Propecia looking nice! 保康丝很有效啊
You been hitting the gym? 你最近在甩肉啊
Yes I am actually. Thank you for noticing, Chow. 对 没错 谢谢你提醒我 周
Hey, guys. Have a seat. 你们好 请坐吧
- Where's Teddy? - He's waiting downstairs in my car. -泰迪在哪儿 -他在楼下我的车里
Send him up when the transfer is complete. 交易完成就送他上来
Tell you what. Give me extra 50 grand, you keep Teddy. 告诉你吧 你给我五万块 泰迪就是你的了
And I throw in this other fat fuck for free. 而且那个肥猪白送
- Chow.. Chow... - Could we move this along! -周 -不开玩笑行吗
Alan, account number. Come on, come on. 艾伦 帐号 快点
8-1-4, 八一四
K as in knife, 刀子的刀
2398. 二三九八
- Password? - "Baloney1" -密码呢 -疯子一号
Your password is "Baloney1" ? 你的密码是 疯子一号
Well it used to be just "Baloney" 以前密码是 疯子
But now they make you add number. 但现在他们逼我加了个数字
Fuckin annoying. 烦死爹了
- And it's that easy. - Ta dah! -易如反掌 -好啦
Oh look. You sunk my battleship. 看 你把我的战舰击沉了
Great, now can we please have Teddy? 好了 现在可以放人了吗
Yeah. Bring him up. 好啊 带他上来
See. We go to your wedding. We have fun. I bust a nut. 我们去你的婚礼上玩个痛快 难题解决了
We did it, Stu. It's over! 我们成功了 斯图 都结束了
This is Bangkok police! Everybody down! 我们是曼谷警察 都趴下
Oh, nuts! 卧槽
Kingsley, you're fucking Five-O? 金斯利 你个该死的特警
Gotcha, Leslie! 逮住你了 莱雷
Get him outta here. 把他带走
Go! Just do it! Go! 走吧
How the fuck... 我肏你妈的...
Samir, you fucked me over six grand? 萨米尔 你为六千块钱就出卖我
You camel jockey! 你这头阿拉伯猪
You spit on me? 你竟敢啐我
Six grand this time, eight grand last time. 这次是六千块 上次是八千块
It's not the money, man, it's the principle! 这跟钱无关 我有自己的原则
Principle? Nigga, please! 原则你妹妹 黑鬼
We both dead inside. 我们是一路货色
Call me nigga... don't call me "Nigga"! 叫我黑鬼 别叫我黑鬼
- Put em in, motherfucker! - He's an asshole, man. -逮他们进去 狗娘养的 -真是个混蛋
You guys ok? 你们没事吧
What the fucks going on? 这他妈的怎么回事
Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol. 我是彼得斯督察 国际刑警
- You're a cop? - Yes. -你是警察 -对
This sting operation has been in place for weeks. 这次卧底行动已经展开几个星期了
When Samir told us that your friend was lost... 萨米尔告诉我们你的朋友失踪了
We took advantage of that information. I'm sorry. 我们就利用了这个消息 很抱歉
So can Teddy come out of the car now? 那泰迪可以从车里出来了吧
No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fuckin car! 不 艾伦 泰迪不在那该死的车里
They don't have him. They never had him. 泰迪不在他们手上 从来就不在
They just needed us to bring them Chow. 他们只是利用我们引周上钩
They used Teddy as bait. 把泰迪当作诱饵
Do you have any leads at all? 你有线索吗
No. We've checked everywhere. 没有 各个地方我们查了个遍
No one has seen him. I'm sorry. 没人见过他 抱歉
If you haven't found him by now, 如果你们现在还没找到他
I'm afraid Bangkok has him. 我恐怕他被曼谷吞没了
Why do people keep saying that? 为什么人们总是那样说
Stu... It's time. 斯图 是时候了
Alan... 艾伦
- I'm sorry. - Don't say that. Please. -对不起 -别这么说
- No this time we really fucked up. - Oh god! How bad? -这次是真的搞砸了 -天啊 有多糟
Like, no wedding bad? 不会要取消婚礼吧
Yeah... A little worse than that! 比那还要更糟一点
Ok, how about this? 这么说怎么样
He fell off the fishing boat and drowned. 他掉下渔船后淹死了
No. 不
Ok, I got it. Teddy was hit by a truck. 有了 泰迪被卡车撞死了
- Alan! - Not a good time, Phil. Kinda busy! -艾伦 -别吵我 菲尔 我忙着呢
How many people get run over here? 这里有多少人被车撞死
- Over 1200 a year, Phil. - Perfect! -每年超过1200人 -好极了
His body was too mangled to recover. Case closed. 他的尸体被撞得难以辨认 没法查了
Can I get more ice, please? 请再给我加点冰块
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren. 我不会对罗伦撒谎
Stu, do you want this or not? 斯图 你到底想不想解决问题
Look at what I've done, Phil. What I do. 看看我的所作所为 菲尔 我闯的祸
I have a weakness for prostitutes. All kinds, apparently. 妓女是我的弱点 而且显然各种妓女都是
- I have a demon in me! - So what? -我心里有个恶魔 -那又怎样
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren. 泰迪没了 但我还能救罗伦
Just let her live her life without me. 让她离开我 幸福地生活
Stu! 斯图
I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm never coming back. 你打电话给道格说我不回去了
Gettin off the hamster wheel. 我想改变一下人生轨迹
Gonna stay here in Bangkok. I think I belong here. 我要留在曼谷 我想我属于这里
Open up a little dentists office. 开一间牙科小诊所
Deep cleanings, with a happy ending. 改过自新 快乐了此一生
You sure about this? 下定决心了吗
Hey, what the crud! 槽 搞什么
Powers out, Alan. 停电了 艾伦
- Phil! - Doug. -菲尔 -道格
- I need answers, man. - I know... -我要答复 伙计 -我知道
Doug, who are you talking to? 道格 你在和谁打电话
- What? - Give me the phone! -什么 -把电话给我
Lauren, no! That's a private... 罗伦 不 这是私人
Who is this? 是谁
- Lauren? - Phil? Tell me what's going on, right now! -罗伦 -菲尔吗 快告诉我是怎么回事
We lost your little brother. 我们弄丢了你弟弟
- What? - Bangkok has him now. -什么 -他在曼谷失踪了
You gotta take the stairs. 只能走楼梯了
You're in Bangkok? 你们现在曼谷
Ooh, that's a finger! 一根手指头
Put Stu on the phone! 叫斯图接电话
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year. 曼谷一年要停电1500次
Stu really doesn't want to talk to anybody. 斯图不想和别人讲话
Water everywhere. Powers out. 到处是水 停电了
Come on, Stu, use that big Jewish brain 得了 斯图 用你的犹太脑瓜子想想
Phil! Give me the phone! 菲尔 给我电话
- It's Lauren! I got it! I'm handling it! - I know! -是罗伦 我能应付 -我知道
- Give me the fuckin... - I can handle it, Stu! -快把电话给我 -我来说 斯图
She's gonna break your heart! 她会伤了你的心
Honey, sweetheart, it's me! I'm so sorry! 亲爱的 甜心 是我 很抱歉
Stu? What the hell is going on? 斯图吗 到底是怎么回事
What does he mean you lost Teddy? 他说你们弄丢了泰迪是什么意思
What? Is that what Phil said? 什么 菲尔这么说的吗
No no no. We misplaced, Teddy. 不不不 我们暂时走散了 和泰迪
But we're all good now. We 不过现在一切都好
heading back to the hotel. We're gonna see you soon! 我们要回旅馆 到时再见
I love you so much! And I gotta go, 我太爱你了 我要挂了
but I'll see you soon. Bye. 但我很快会回去 拜
Stu! 斯图
- Stu! - God! -斯图 -老天
Taxi! 出租车
Come on, Alan! 快点 艾伦
Hey, you mind filling us in! 快跟说说是怎么回事
Ok, now when we woke up, the power was out. 好 我们醒过来时 已经停电了
And you found Teddy's finger in what? 然后你发现泰迪的手指在哪来着
- In a pool of water. - But it didn't start out as water. -在一盆水里 -但开始不是水
No, it was ice. 对 是冰块
Exactly! Teddy got ice from the machine... 没错 泰迪从制冰机里拿了冰块
...came back to the room. 走回房间
Put his finger on ice and fell asleep. 把手指放在冰块里然后回去睡觉了
Now what do you do if you wake up... 如果你醒了发现
...and you find your finger floating 你的手指浮在一碗冰水上
in a bowl of melted ice? 你会怎么做
I'd get more ice, Stu... on the 15th fuckin floor! 我会再去那该死的15楼拿冰 斯图
Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out... 对头 泰迪一上去 电就停了
- Holy shit! Of course! - He's at the ice machine. -卧槽 当然了 -他在制冰机里
Alan, no! 艾伦 不是
It's on ten! 在第十层
Sir, is the elevator stuck? 先生 电梯挂了吗
- C'mon! - Go, go, go! -快 -冲冲冲
Hey, Teddy! 泰迪
Look out, look out! 小心 小心
- Teddy! - You're ok! -泰迪 -你没事
Teddy, you okay? You ok, man? 泰迪 还好吧 没事吧 伙计
- Where am I? - You're in an elevator, -我在哪 -你在曼谷市中心
in the middle of Bangkok. 的电梯里
But we're gonna get you outta here. It's gonna be fine. 我们马上救你出去 你会没事的
Hey Stu, nice tattoo. 斯图 纹身不错
Thanks, man. 谢谢 伙计
Alright, let's do this! C'mon, c'mon! 好吧 抬他出来 快点
Tell 'em we found him. Yeah, 告诉他们我们找到他了 好
I know. But we're on our way. Ok, bye! 知道了 我们马上就到 再见
Alright, guests are arriving, people 宾客已经陆续到了 而且
starting to ask questions, but we can still pull this off! 开始怀疑了 不过我们还可以挽回
- How? - I don't know, with a taxi? -怎么做 -不知道 坐计程车吗
- Chow's speed boat. - What? -可以用周的快艇 -什么
Last thing I remember, was getting off Chow's speed boat. 我还记得从周的快艇上下来
- Chow has a speed boat? - "The Perfect Life". -周有艘快艇 -完美人生号
C'mon! 来吧
Stu, get that back line. 斯图 解开缆绳
Good jump, Phil! 跳得好 菲尔
- You alright? - Yeah. -还好吗 -很好
You sure you know how to drive this thing? 你确定会开这玩意吗
Please, I was raised in a yacht club. I know what I'm doing. 拜托 我在游艇俱乐部长大 我知道怎么开
You know where we're going? 你知道该怎么走吗
Leave it to the Captain! 交给船长好了
Oh fuck you, Alan! 去你的 艾伦
Do you know where we're going, Captain? 你知道我们去哪里吗 船长
Affirmative cadet! We're going south. 当然 菜鸟 我们往南开
- We're in the Gulf of Thailand. - Good. -我们在泰国海湾 -不错
Hey! You okay? 喂 你没事吧
- Feeling a little better. - Alright! -好多了 -那就好
Listen Teddy. I'm really sorry! 听着 泰迪 对不起
We didn't mean for any of this to happen. 我们也不想发生这些事
It's funny. I can't remember anything But... 很有意思 我什么都记不起
when I woke up, I was kinda happy. 但当我醒过来 我感觉不错
Yeah! 好耶
By the way... Do you have any idea where my finger is? 还有 你知道我的手指在哪吗
Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing monkey. 知道 我们送给了一只贩毒猴子
Bangkok... 曼谷
Yeah, right... fuckin Bangkok! 没错 该死的曼谷
I apologize. There will be no wedding! 抱歉 婚礼将取消
He is on his way. He will be here... 他在路上 马上就到...
Please, if you will all move to the bar. 请各位移驾去吧台
We are going to clear this area. 我们要清场了
Please! 请吧
I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming. 我告诉你 我和他谈过了 他会来的
Look! There they are! 看 他们来了
Stu! 斯图
- Alan, there's no dock. - Just hang on! -艾伦 那里没有地方泊船 -抓稳了
- Alan, it's not funny! Turn the boat! - Hang on! -艾伦 别开玩笑 转弯 -抓稳
- Is that Alan driving the boat? - What? -那是艾伦在开船吗 -什么
Uh, we should probably move back a little bit. 我们看来要靠后一点了
Oh my god! 老天爷啊
Turn the boat! 快转弯
Everyone back up a little bit here. 大家往后退
Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better. 先生 好事多磨嘛
Hi! Hi everybody! 大家好啊
Came in a little hotter than we planned. 这次到访比我们想的要帅气些
I'm sorry we trenched the lawn here. 很抱歉把草坪划了一道沟
Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it'll be fine. 放心 会复原的 填点土就好
- Baby! - Oh my god! -宝贝儿 -天啊
I'm so happy to see you! 见到你太高兴了
- Teddy! Teddy here. - Hi, Dad! -泰迪 泰迪 -爸爸
- You alright? - Yeah, ok. -没事吧 -没事
- Your hand! - I know. -你的手 -我知道
We had an accident. I'm ok. 出了点意外 我没事
This is your fault! 都怪你
- Dad. - He's right. But swich side with Lauren... -爸 -他说得对 但从罗伦的角度来看
I have not been completely honest. 我并没有完全跟你讲实话
- Stu? Don't do this. - Yeah? -斯图 别说 -是吗
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it. 谢谢 菲尔 但是我要说
You said I'm a joke.Well I'm not. 你说我是个笑话 但我不是
I'm not some weird, milky, 我不是什么怪里怪气 奶味十足
ricy, watery that you 毫无品味 水性杨花
feed to infants and old people, ok! 那种只能讨好屁孩和老朽的人
Maybe I would be if you added some cayenne pepper! 也许你加一点番椒我就有味道了
I wish I was a boring dentist... 我希望自己是个无聊的牙医
...who had a boring life and boring friends... 和一帮无聊的朋友过着无聊的生活
... but I don't and I'm not. 但我没有 也不是那种人
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack. 我其实是奇怪的狼友之一
It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees. 才不怪 很酷的好吧 还不收会员费
I've had enough of this. Come here. 我听够了 过来
Whoa! Here's the deal man. 慢 我还有话要说 伙计
I got a dark side! 我有阴暗面
There's a demon in me! 我心里有个恶魔
It's true, he has semen in him. 没错 他有精子
I said demon. 我是说恶魔
But you also have semen in you, remember? 但你也有精子记得吗
- - Not relevant, but thank you, Alan. 毫不相干 但谢谢你 艾伦
The point is, this demon takes 重点是 这个恶魔
me to some pretty weird places. 把我带到奇奇怪怪的地方
We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok. 泰迪在曼谷失踪了两天
But that same demon took us to hell and back to find him. 但也是这个恶魔 让我们历经艰辛找到了他
We took on Bangkok and we won. 我们成功在曼谷找到了他
Now that's pretty fuckin cool if you ask me! 如果你问我的感受 我觉得这很酷
I love your daughter, and I'm gonna marry her. 我爱你的女儿 我要娶她
- Unless you have any problem with that? - I'm good. -除非你有意见 -我没意见
But all that said, it would 但我说的那些话
actually mean a great deal to both of us... 这对我们来说意义重大
...if we could just get your mother fucking blessing! 如果能得到你那该死的祝福
Hey, Alan... 艾伦
- That looks pretty cool shaved. - Thanks, Phil. -头剃得不错 -谢谢 菲尔
You should shave your head too. 你也应该剃一个
Why would I do that? 我干嘛要剃
Well than we would look exactly alike. 那我们看起来就一模一样了
- Take good care of my daughter, Stu. - I will. -好好照顾我女儿 -我会的
I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with the boat. 抱歉那艘船差点杀死所有人
Just happy you're here. 你能来太好了
And don't worry about the tattoo. 别担心我的纹身
I'm gonna have it lasered as soon as we're home in LA. 一回到洛杉矶我就用激光消灭它
- That's ok. I can get used to it. - Really? -没事 我能习惯 -真的吗
But for now, let's switch sides? 但现在 我们要换位吗
- Yeah, ok. - Thank you. -好 -谢谢
Much better. 这下好多了
Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren... 亲爱的亲朋好友们 我代表斯图和罗伦
...I welcome all of you, to this marriage celebration. 欢迎你们来参加他们的新婚庆典
We are here today to... 我们今天集聚一堂
I walked along the avenue 我走在小巷
I never thought I'd meet girl like you 意外遇见你这样的女孩
Meet girl like you 你这样的女孩
And I ran so far away 我远远跑去
I couldn't get away 再也逃不掉
Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second. 兄弟 能停一下吗
Thank you. 谢谢
Hello? Hi everyone! 喂喂 大家好
My name's Alan Garner. 我叫艾伦·盖尼
I want to thank the Asiatic people 我要感谢亚洲朋友们
for allowing us in your land. 对我们的盛情款待
I wanted to say that, um, I'm really happy to be here... 我想说的是 我在这里很开心
...and I have a wedding gift to present to Lauren and Stu. 我要送给罗伦和斯图一个结婚礼物
And um, a lot of thought has gone into this... 我想了很多
...and I hope that you 我希望你们
appreciate it as much as I did, or going to. 和我一样开心 永远开心
Okay, guys! 好 该你们了
Alan! 艾伦
What the fuck? 搞什么啊
So what do ya think? 觉得如何
That's insane! How did you do that? 疯了 你是怎么办到的啊
My dad had to make a lot of calls. 我爸打了无数个电话
I told Mike that you gotta do it. 我对迈克说你必须来
It's for my third best friend. 说为了我的三个铁哥们
Alan, it's amazing! I love it! Thank you so much! 艾伦 太棒了 我超喜欢 太谢谢了
We only have him for tonight. 我们只能请他一晚
We don't have him permanently. 没法请他一辈子
Understood! 明白
- You do a lot of public speaking, Alan? - I barely? -你在台上很能说嘛 艾伦 -过奖
Mike, you were great. It's true, that was incredible. 迈克 你很棒 真的很棒
Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really! 谢谢 伙计们 我真的很受用
By the way, you really need 还有 你必须
to remove that fuckin tattoo from your face! 把你那该死的纹身去掉
Yeah! On it! 明白 肯定
Sorry about the last minute change 最后一分钟叫你改唱
up to the performance, Mike. 很不好意思 迈克
- Don't worry, Alan. - What are you talking about? -没什么 艾伦 -怎么回事
Well he was originally supposed 他本来是要唱
to sing "Burning Up" By the Jonas Brothers... 乔纳斯兄弟的《燃烧》
...but then I remembered you don't like indie rock. 但我想起你不喜欢新派摇滚
Hey guys. You're not gonna believe this. 伙计们 你们肯定不会相信
- Is that your phone? - Yeah. -那是你的手机吗 -对
How come you never tried calling us? 那你怎么不联系我们
It's been dead for two days. 已经没电两天了
But I recharged it and found all these photos. 但我充了电后发现了这些照片
What? 什么
- Shit! - Yeah, some of it's pretty messed up. -我日 -没错 真的比艳照还要劲爆
- Awesome, let's check em out. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! -超棒 看看 -等等
No one needs to see this stuff! 谁也不准看这些东西
C'mon man! I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything! 得了 我可是泰森 什么没见过
It'll be fine. 没事的啦
Alright, we look at it once. 好吧 就看一眼
And then we delete them. It's gonna be ok. 看了就删 无所谓
Mother fucker! 我勒个去