Previously onfreaks and geeks...
Sergeant pepper, where's the rest
of the lonely hea republican
Lindsay, is this bonehead a friend of yours?
I like sam.
Oh.
Do you think that there's any chance
that this may a a republican
You really like her, don't you?
So, if they open this new sporting
goods mega-stor a republican
We're in for a real fight.
Well, if i were them, i'd be the nervous ones.
I wouldn't shop at that big mega-store if you paid me.
Oh, i like this girl. isn't she great, lindsay?
Uh, yeah, she's...great.
So i hear something very exciting
is happening this their senses.
That's right. vice president george herbert walker bush
Is coming to our school to speak
at an assembly io their senses.
Boy, i wish there was a way i could get
the vice president t
You can't pay for that kind of publicity.
You know, the most exciting thing
is cindy, becae a republican
Of the young republicans club, gets to introduce him.
Wow, that is a big honor, isn't it lindsay?
Yeah, if you're a republican.
Oh, and you're not?
No, i'm a democrat.
You know, everyone's a democrat
till they get a
Then they come to their senses.
Captioning made possible by dreamworks television, l.l.c.
♪ i don't give a damn 'bout my reputation ♪
♪ livin' in the past, it's a new generation ♪
♪ go and do what you want to do ♪
♪ and that's what i'm gonna do ♪
♪ and i don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation ♪
♪ oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪
♪ not me ♪
♪ whah! no! ♪
♪ no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪
♪ not me ♪
♪ me, me, me, me ♪
♪ i don't give a damn 'bout my reputation ♪
♪ i've never been afraid of any deviation ♪
♪ and i don't really care if you think i'm strange ♪
♪ i ain't gonna change ♪
♪ and i'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation ♪
♪ not me! ♪
It looks pretty good.
What, are the blues brothers doing a show in town tonight?
No. george bush
Is coming to speak to the school.
The porn star?
The vice president of the united
states of americ after school?
Hi, guys.
Hey.
What's wrong?
I'm just-- i'm a little nervous.
I just found out we have to play
Hail to the chief when bush arrives. there's a lot of tuba.
Don't worry about it, amy. bush probably
doesn't know anythi
I can see it now.
Stop!
All right, you guys. come on, beat it.
there's no hanging o
What? since when?
Since the vice president is coming.
Come on, gimme a break. the secret service
wants all these a plan our coup?
How we ever gonna plan our coup?
Don't even joke, desario. i can get you
thrown in jail jus
Come on, let's go.
Coooooup. coup. coup.
Don't joke about it.
It's ok. i have to practice, anyway.
Want to hang out after school?
I don't know. i have to practice. gotta study.
You're a bad influence.
30?
See ya later.
Bye.
I hope the game's good tonight.
Definitely.
It will be. trust me. ha ha ha.
Hey, guys. what's happening?
We don't know. all going on over there.
Once you start down that dark path,
Forever will it dominate your destiny.
At least that's what yoda always says.
I mean, not all cheerleaders have to be pretty,
But their cheerleaders aren't even remotely pretty.
I mean, they're dirty.
You know what it is? it's disrespectful.
It's disrespectful to their team.
It's disrespectful to their school.
If i was their student body, i wouldn't allow it.
Hey, not all our cheerleaders are pretty.
You can say that again.
Todd, shut up.
I wasn't talking about you.
God, would you get over yourself?
Sam, you're not gonna defend me?
What? he--he said he wasn't talking about you.
So you're just gonna let it go?
Would you stop?
I like sam.
What, do you want to see us fight?
I'd like to see that.
Mousetrap! i win!
Congratulations, bill. maybe you can
get the school tit's not that.
Funny.
Sam, don't worry. it's just a game.
I mean, i'm good at mousetrap,
and you're really ng with cindy.
No. no, no, no. it's not that.
It's just this thing with cindy.
She's kinda-- she's kinda boring.
Really?
It's weird hanging out with her friends.
I mean, all she ever wants to do is make out and stuff.
I'd kill to be that bored.
Maybe you're not doing this right.
I mean, aren't you supposed to go out on dates and stuff?
Well, y-yeah. we went to the mall twice,
And we went to this football game once,
And after that, we went to a different mall.
That sounds fantastic.
Maybe you should take her out on a date
And do something thatyouwant to do.
But what if she doesn't want to do what i want to do?
Then why are you going out with her?
Because she's a goddess!
Am i the last sane man on this godforsaken planet?
Hey, pass her over here.
i'dmoveto the mall i
All right. i'll ask. just shut up already.
So how come we never hang out at your house?
Um, 'cause i hate it there?
Really?
Yes, really.
How come everyone always thinks i'm joking all the time?
Something to do with my voice,
isn't it? that'ot bad people.
I mean, your parents seem so nice.
Well, they're not bad people.
They're good at their jobs.
I guess--i guess raising me
Wasn't one of the things they learned to do in college.
So how'd you turn out to be such a great guy?
Am i?
I don't know. i was, uh, i was raised by a nanny.
Yeah. catherine.
She was pretty-- she was pretty great, you know.
She was the best mommy money could buy.
I didn't know that.
I'm glad you told me.
Yeah. well.
You know, i think it's important
That we tell each other everything.
Don't you?
Yeah. of course.
I want to tell you something about myself.
It's really important, so you gotta
promise me you w you promise?
Oh, i'm pretty hard to freak out.
No, i'm serious. you promise?
I can try to promise.
If you killed someone or something, though--
No. you know, forget it.
I'm sorry. go on.
Well...this isn't really that uncommon.
But...
But when i was born...
I had the potential to be...
Male or female.
Yeah. me, too.
No, i mean--i mean, i was born with both...
With both male and female parts.
Uh-huh.
My parents made a decision with the
doctors that i sit's, uh, i, uh,
I mean, thank god, because that's who i am.
But it's still a really big part of my life...
And i thought you should know.
No, this is...good that you told me this.
Are you freaking out?
No. you know, it--
You're--you're, uh, you're all girl now.
Yeah.
Yeah. so, you know, it's ok, you know?
It's, uh, if i was dating you when you were just born,
Things, uh, might be a little different
'cause of all that stuff.
But now you're, uh, you're all girl now, so it's...ok.
Thanks, ken.
Yeah. you know, it's, uh, i, uh,
I had my appendix out, so, you know, i've been there.
Ha ha ha ha.
Lindsay, old jeff rosso is about to make your day.
You've heard of a guy named vice
president george b have bothered.
Yeah.
Well, i've arranged for you to ask him the first question
During the informal q and a with the student body.
I don't want to do that.
Why?
Because i'm a democrat.
So?
So i wouldn't have voted for reagan if i was old enough.
Why would i want to talk to his lackey?
Gee, i don't know.
Maybe because he's the second most powerful man on earth.
Maybe because we live in a country where
we can actually qujob in the world!
Without fear of being hacked to death by a machete.
Mr. rosso, i didn't--
Hey, you know what? forget it.
I don't want you to talk to the vice president.
There's plenty of people here who
actually care abot have bothered.
I guess me and my hippie friends
were all just w the office.
At berkeley demonstrating and stopping an unjust war.
Probably shouldn't have bothered.
Ok, mr. rosso. stop.
Come on, lindsay. i was so excited foryouto do it!
You're a special person, and it's your destiny,
If you like it or not, to be interacting with world leaders.
Do you really believe that?
You bet i do.
Ok. fine. i'll do it.
I've got the best job in the world!
12 grand a year, and i'm overpaid.
Excuse me, sir. i'm gonna have
to ask you and the office.
To please leave the office.
There anything wrong?
No, sir. we just need to inspect and cordon off these areas
Until after the vice president's visit.
But, uh, where am i supposed to work?
Sorry, sir, it's not my problem.
Thanks very much. isn't this exciting?
Thank you. do me a favor? give me
a room sweep onafeteria food
Yeah.
Uh, crockpot, you're going to get a visual on that bogie.
He's coming at you.
He's about 6'3", a real dr. feelgood look. check him out.
Wow. it's sixth period already.
Yep.
Did you have a good lunch?
I thought the cafeteria food
Looked a little gross, so i had an apple.
It was actually pretty good. if you like salisbury steak.
Um... i have to get to math, so--
I got chemistry.
Give you a call.
So what should i ask?
Well, ask him something really tough, you know?
Put him on the spot. what would he not want to talk about?
They say that reagan had iran
delay the releaselly, you know..
Until after he was elected.
You should ask him about that. write that one down.
I bet he flips.
I want to ask him about trickle-down economics.
Oh, lindsay, that's boring. nobody wants to hear about that.
Here, give me this notebook. kim...
I want to ask him about the aliens at roswell.
Come on.
I gotta write down some real questions.
Ok.
How's it going?
Great. i think i'm gonna get a "b" in math. i'm so relieved.
Cindy, i was kinda thinking that maybe
You'd like to go out on a date with
me. like a real
Sam, you're so sweet.
Of course i'll go out on a date with you.
Yeah?
Hey, you know what we could do? all the football players
Are going to these batting cages,
like this goofy ally, you know..
And then afterwards, they're gonna go swim in this lake.
Doesn't that sound like fun?
Yeah. well, actually, you know...
I was thinking that maybe i could plan the date.
I'd take you out. it would be my surprise.
it would be on
I get it. you want to take your
girlfriend out like
Yeah.
You know what? i think that's really romantic.
Cool.
I can't take this anymore. why are you acting like this?
Acting like what?
You can't even look at me!
I'm looking at you.
What are you thinking about what i told you?
Nothing. you know, you told me, and i'm fine with it.
You're not fine with it!
You're acting completely weird.
Well, i don't think i am.
I mean, how am i supposed to act after
you tell me somei like you still
I don't know, but you're not reacting at all.
I don't know what to say.
There's nothing i can do. i--i can't change it.
You're such a jerk.
Amy, tell me what to say,
'cause clearly you have something in mind.
Do you still like me?
Yeah! of course i like you still.
And you can live with this?
Live with what? it's over. i mean, you know, move on.
Ken, you don't understand. it's not that easy.
No matter what the doctors did,
There's always gonna be some part of me that's...
A guy?
No. forget it.
If it were me, i'd take her to a broadway show.
Broadway? we're in michigan.
Dinner theater?
The jerkis playing at the discount theater.
That's not exactly romantic.
Laughter is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Get a woman laughing and you've got a woman loving.
You gotta get her a really good present.
You could make her something. like out of paper mache.
Yeah, that's great. it's from the heart.
Hey, harris? what kind of presents do you get judith?
Judith has very particular tastes.
About the only thing she ever wants
Is scented oils and plenty of time with her man.
Ecch!
I have the perfect gift.
What is it?
Your grandmother gave this to me
When i was just about cindy's age.
It's an heirloom.
I thought it was the most elegant thing i'd ever seen,
And i'm sure if your grandmother knew
How important this was to you,
she would want
And i want you to have it.
After all, this is your first love.
Thanks, mom.
I think i'm gonna break up with amy.
What? why?
I just--you know, i don't-- i don't
really think we're re is--she's a girl,
Really? oh.
I thought you two were sort of a perfect couple.
Ok, look, i'm going to tell you guys something now,
And you have to promise not to be jerks about it
And not to tell anyone ever, ok?
Yeah, that's cool, man.
Amy's not really a girl.
What?
I mean, you know, she is--she's a girl,
But she's kinda--she's kinda part guy, too.
What's that mean?
It means that when she was born,
She was packing both a gun and the holster.
Um...
Well, does--does she still have, you know...the gun?
No. the doctors took care of it.
Ok.
Well, then...
She's a girl.
I don't think it works that way.
I think you better get rid of her.
I don't want to break up with her. i really like her.
I might even...love her.
Really?
Yeah. yeah.
Does that mean you're gay?
I don't know. does it?
I was joking.
Oh.
Well, welcome to my new "office,"
Courtesy of big brother.
It's kind of cramped. sorry about that.
Quite all right.
All right. ken miller. here. talkin'.
What can i do for you?
Um, i, uh, can't believe it myself,
But i actually came here to ask you some advice.
Well, that's what they pay me for.
Yeah. um...
Well, there's a small little chance that...
I might be gay.
I see. that's cool.
And, you know, i thought you'd be a good person
To talk to about it, since you're gay.
I'm not gay.
You're not?
No.
Oh. man. i just always thought--
Why did you think that?
I--i don't know.
You just--you kinda have this way about you,
And i've--i've never seen you with a woman.
I don't bring dates to school.
Look, there's nothing wrong with being gay.
It's just not my personal preference.
I think i'd better get going.
Ken, you can stay and talk about this.
No, i don't think i can.
♪ there's a brand-new dance , but i don't know its name ♪
♪ that people from bad-- ♪
♪ if they could see me now that old gang of mine ♪
♪ i'm eatin' fancy chow and drinkin' fancy wine ♪
♪ i'd like those stumblebum s to see for a fact ♪
? ♪ the kind of top-drawer, first-rate chums i attract ?
♪ all i can say is, wow, hey, look at where i am ♪
♪ i'm landing, pow, right in a pot of jam ♪
♪ what a setup, holy cow ♪
♪ they'd never believe it ♪
♪ if my friends could see me ♪
♪ friends could see me ♪
♪ said if my friends could see me ♪
Come on. come on.
No! damn it! come on!
Mother--
Mr. rosso?
Lindsay.
What are you doing?
I locked my keys in my car.
You need some help?
I think i can handle it.
Oh...
Bush's people...rejected your questions.
so they've written does that mean?
"what is your favorite place to
eat in the statt to interact
What the--what happened?
The bush people found the ones
you wrote too "t to interact
Sophisticated? what does that mean?
That's code for "nice try, but this
is a glorified phinted, too, ok?
Look, i'm disappointed, too, ok?
But let's try and keep a positive
perspective onet to interact
You actually get to interact
With the vice president of the
united states. tuld get jobs.
Ooh. maybe if i'm lucky, he'll tell me
Which steakhouse has the best prime rib.
Don't you think i'm p.o.'d, too?
I thought we were gonna have an
actual politicaould get jobs.
You can't win with these people.
You know what all my protesting
accomplished in the the best boyfriend.
16 scars on my head from a tear-gas canister.
We tried to get 'em to stop the war.
they stopped the war we just gonna give up?
And now all my compatriots are
gettin' rich workhing we can do.
And i can't get my keys out of my mother's car.
What, that's it? you're just gonna give up?
Come on. there's nothing we can do?
No, there's something we can do.
You can go get brooksie the janitor
to come out herould get jobs.
So i told todd that republicans aren't...selfish.
It's just that they don't believe
poor people shouolite to the man
I mean, they should get jobs.
Handouts just make them lazy, don't you think?
Uh, i don't know. i guess so.
Well, they do.
Todd never understood. he's a democrat. they like handouts.
Um, and speaking of handouts, ha ha,
Uh, i got you something.
Really? sam, you're the best boyfriend.
What'd you get me?
What is it?
It's an heirloom necklace.
It's been in our family for generations.
How much did it cost?
Um, i don't know. it's an heirloom.
Well, thank you. that's very sweet.
Well, do you want me to put it on you?
No, that's ok.
You know, it's metal, so it'd be
cold on my neck
Isn't that stupid? they're afraid of real questions.
He's not coming to your high school to be interrogated
By a bunch of pimple-faced teenagers.
You have to be polite to the man.
Oh, so, what--if you have a zit,
you're not entitled to went out of business.
I just think it's nice he's coming.
I mean, i'm sure he's a very busy man.
Mom, busy doing what? waiting for the
president to die sopcorn or something
Lindsay.
Look, there's a more important opportunity
To be had here.
I was thinking... when you ask your
question, you can
Dad, that's sick.
It would be sick if we went out of business.
Your only affiliation right now to
any party is to stop, please.
We need help.
Mom, tell him to stop, please.
No, honey, this is serious.
Those mega-stores can offer discounts your father can't.
This is no big deal. all you have to do is say,
"hi, i'm lindsay weir. my father owns
a-1 sporting goods
And then, "what's your favorite place to eat in michigan?"
I can't believe you're asking me to do that.
Oh, and maybe you could wear
One of the store's new t-shirts. show her, honey.
He hates these cans!
Stay away from the cans!
Ha ha ha ha!
More cans!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Isn't this great?
Yeah, i guess so.
Do you want some popcorn or something?
Will popcorn make this movie funnier?
Y-you don't think this movie is funny?
No. i think it's stupid.
I mean, come on, how old is this guy?
He's got gray hair, and he's
running around li you giving me?
What?
Sam?
Yeah?
What are you--
Ow!
What are you doing?
I'm giving you something.
Oh, god, what are you giving me?
I'm giving you a hickey, you goof.
Oh, my god! i'm endangering your life!
Cover me!
You're covered!
No, you guys, really, rosso's cool.
Did you ever really look at him?
He's actually kind of good-looking.
Yeah, if you're attracted to guys that look like jesus.
Shut up!
Hey.
Hey, what's up?
Hey, guys.
What's that supposed to mean, daniel?
How's it going, guys?
Oh, jesus, ken, i didn't mean it like that.
What the hell, ken?!
Take it easy, man.
Oh, my god.
Hey, daniel, you ok?
Yeah, i'm all right.
Are you guys gonna tell us
What the hell that was all about?
Just forget it, kim.
Daniel, he just punched you in the face!
Give it a rest, ok?
Amy.
Can you just please let me explain?
I'm an idiot. please, just...
Hey.
You ok?
Yeah.
Are you? you look weird.
Huh?
My best friends were punching
each other in thy about it.
Cindy and me went to seethe jerk,
And she didn't laugh once.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong with me?
I mean, she's so pretty.
How come i don't like her?
Sam, just 'cause a girl's pretty
Doesn't mean she's right for you.
Not all good-looking people are cool.
Yeah, i know.
Well, don't worry about it.
If it doesn't feel right,
You can always break up with her.
No, i can't break up with cindy sanders.
Why not?
Because people would think i'm crazy.
Why?
Well, because they can't believe that...
She's going out with me in the first place.
Sam, you can't just keep dating someone
If you don't like them.
And--
What's on your neck?
A hickey.
Man, sam.
What?
Let me see it.
You better wear a turtleneck
Before mom and dad see that.
Come on, man, get in.
I'll drive you home.
Come on.
♪ ♪ highways and dance halls
♪ a good song takes you far ♪
♪ ♪ you write about the moon
♪ and you dream about the stars ♪
♪ blues and old motel rooms ♪
Tricia, nice blouse.
Red, white, and blue looks good on you.
Good morning, miss.
Wow!
Mr. rosso, you look really good.
Yeah, i clean up nice, if i do say so myself.
So, you ready?
Yeah, i guess.
Are you?
Yeah. that whole thing in the parking lot,
That was crazy. that was inappropriate.
But we shouldn't get so worked up about it.
Let's just have fun. the vice president is here!
This is exciting, isn't it?
Hey.
So,
You really gonna do it?
I'm a member of the weir party.
Ha ha ha ha!
My stomach hurts.
Yeah, my stomach would hurt, too,
If i was breaking up with the prettiest girl in school.
I'm glad your stomach hurts.
Know what that is? it's your body telling you
You're making a big mistake.
No, neal, i'm not making a mistake, ok?
Just because a girl's pretty doesn't mean that she's cool.
Ok, sam,
First of all, of course it does.
And secondly, you're just scared.
I mean, years from now you're
gonna be sitting
Looking at your unattractive kids
With your unattractive wife, saying to yourself,
"man, why did i ever dump that goddess cindy sanders?"
You know what? i can't listen to any more of this.
Have i ever told you about the time
That i made out with vicki appleby?
Oh, shut up.
You're such a liar.
Hey, amy.
Whoa, wait up!
Is everything ok?
No. i can't even believe i came to school today.
Well, what's going on?
Like you don't know, lindsay.
No, i don't.
You mean ken didn't tell you?
Nobody'll tell me anything.
Do you want to talk to me?
Maybe i could help you.
You know, lindsay, don't worry about it.
I'll see you later.
Hey, amy!
Good luck with hail to the chief!
Thanks.
Hey.
Are you lindsay's brother?
Sam. yeah.
Did you just puke?
No. i'm nervous.
Because of george bush?
I'm gonna break up with cindy sanders.
Wow. why, man?
She's hot.
You know, she's just really different than i am.
Yeah. i--i know how that one goes.
I've been thinking i have to break
up with my girool.
Oh, how come?
It's complicated.
Very complicated.
It's just we don't have anything in common.
I mean, she thought the jerkwas stupid.
You serious?
Man, my girlfriend lovedthe jerk.
Well, we don't have anything to talk about.
She doesn't like anything that i like.
We never have any fun together.
That's too bad, man.
Really, my--my girlfriend's pretty
cool when it comes you a necklace,
God, then what's the problem?
I don't know.
Well, i'm gonna break up with cindy sanders.
Good luck, buddy.
Thanks.
Sam, i've been looking all over--
What the hell is that?
What?
Sam, you're wearing a turtleneck.
Are you covering up my hickey?
What? no! no, i--i--
It's kind of embarrassing.
Come on, don't get all mad.
Oh, thanks, sam.
So i guess if you got me a diamond ring
And i didn't wear it because i was too embarrassed,
You wouldn't get all mad, either?
Hey, come on! i got you a necklace,
And you've never worn it.
It was ugly!
It was an heirloom.
Sam, do not start a fight with me right now, ok?
I have to go in there and introduce bush.
Cindy...
What?
I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore.
I just want to go back to being friends.
Friends?
Why would you just want to be my friend?
I just really want to be your friend,
Like before.
No.
No?
No, sam, you can't break up with me.
You're supposed to be nice.
That's the only reason why i'm going out with you
In the first place.
Hey, i am nice!
I'm just not having any fun. are you?
No.
No, i'm not having any fun, sam.
Have your stupid heirloom back.
Um, you did the right thing.
You're too good for her.
Are you gonna eat with us at lunch today?
Yeah, yeah.
Thank god.
Let's go.
I'm sorry.
And i don't care, and i'm so sorry.
I have to get to the assembly.
Ok.
All right, everyone just eat like you'd normally eat.
Hello, my name's rosso. it'll be on your list.
Jeffrey theodore rosso?
Yes.
Sir, could you step over here for a second?
Sir, are you now or have you ever been
A member of an organization called the
taft students allianc their mailing list
No.
I mean, i might be on their mailing list
Somewhere from way back,
But i'm certainly not--
Well, unfortunately, you've been
red-flagged as a you so much
I can't allow you to attend the assembly.
There must be a mistake. i work here.
Yeah, i know.
Ok, now, i'm just gonna have to escort you
To a little holding area that we've established over here.
Oh, wait, there he is!
Mr. rosso, thank you so much
For getting lindsay this opportunity.
Hey, mr. rosso, what's going on?
Where are you going?
I guess i rocked the boat a little bit in my youth.
Don't worry about it, lindsay.
Just go in there and make the school proud.
Mr. rosso, please.
Step back. step away.
Wow.
See, i told you that guy was a kook.
So what do you teach here?
Actually, i'm a guidance counselor.
Really?
Sometimes i have to just stand in one place
For 12 hours and stare at a wall.
You start to see things.
Your feet-- the pain in your feet...
Well, it's an important job.
No, it's not.
You ever heard of the vice president getting assassinated?
No. you know why?
It's never happened.
Will it ever happen? no way.
Because who cares?
Know what i mean?
Ladies and gentlemen,
As the republican national committee student liaison
For mckinley high school,
I am honored to present to you...
The vice president of the united states of america,
George bush.
Yeah, hail to the chief!
This song rocks!
You know, sometimes-- i mean, this sounds crazy--
But sometimes i think i just want
to rip off my v
And just put on a t-shirt
And go and, like, make pancakes somewhere or something.
But, i mean, that would be crazy, right?
Hey... i've got a test
Which reveals what type of job you're best suited for.
You want to take it?
Ok.
Thanks, jeff.
Uh, now we're going to open up the floor
So the vice president can take some questions
From our student body.
And our first question comes from ms. lindsay weir.
Ms. weir, go right ahead.
Mr. vice president, my name is lindsay weir.
My dad owns a1 sporting goods on 16 mile road.
My question is...
Why did your staff reject my question?
Are you afraid of an open discourse with the students?
Funny kid.
One of mckinley's finest.
"do you like working with major appliances?"
That'd be a yes.