三輛車依次為 1979 AC 3000ME，1972 Hillman Avenger Tiger，1961 Hillman Super Minx
歡迎來到 尼斯湖 大峽谷
大家好 Hello, everybody.
你好 Hello. Hello.
大家好 Greetings!
這兒還是這樣 That doesn't get any worse.
你好 Hello.
歡迎大家 Hello, and welcome!
歡迎來到Grand Tour Welcome to The Grand Tour,
這次 我們還是在 which, once again, comes to you
蘇格蘭的尼斯湖畔 from the shores of Loch Ness in Scotland.
好的 Now...
我們之所以還在這兒 The reason why we're still here is,
是因為上次節目後 after last week's show,
他倆和一個當地人交流了一下 these two got talking to a man in the local town,
他和他們說 who has convinced them that,
這湖裡有個怪獸 in that lake, there is a monster.
這裡的確有個怪獸 Well, there is a monster.
你見過嗎 Have you seen it?
沒 但那人很有說服力 No, but the man was very convincing.
他是不是賣給你一塊 Did he sell you a tea towel
印著怪獸的抹布 with a drawing of the monster on it?
是的 現在我們知道怪獸長啥樣了 He did, and now we know what the monster looks like.
正是 我們還有怪獸的照片 Exactly. We've also got photographs of the monster.
-看這張照片 -這是塊木頭 - Look, we've got this one. - That's a log.
還有這張 看哪 And we've got this one. Look at that!
-怪獸 -還是木頭 - Monster. - Another log.
你們來看看這張照片吧 就是它 Can I just draw your attention to a picture I've got? Here it is.
這不是怪獸吧 Well, that's not a monster, is it?
不 那是個象鼩 好眼力 No, that is an elephant shrew. Well spotted.
這可是動物中的GT-R Now, this is the Nissan GT-R among animals.
你見過它跑起來嗎 非常驚人 Have you ever seen it on the move? It's phenomenal!
它留下一條尾流 過彎時就像有下壓力 It leaves a rooster tail and it corners like it's got downforce.
我的意思是 這是種非常珍稀的動物 But my point is, this is a very rare animal,
而且它的照片是高清全彩的 and yet the photograph of it is in sharp focus and colour.
你們那些怪獸照片都是黑白的 Now, all the pictures of your monster are in black and white.
-可能怪獸就是黑白的 -而且模糊 - Well, maybe it is black and white. - And blurry.
可能就是模糊的 Maybe it's blurry.
這讓我糾結了一星期 所以我決定 This has been driving me mad all week, so I decided
去蘇格蘭兜兜風 說實話 to go for a drive on some of Scotland's, let's be honest,
公路超棒 brilliant driving roads.
它們太美妙了 They are...They are fantastic.
說到這個 事實上 And actually, speaking of which,
有叫北部高地倡議的東西 something called the North Highland Initiative,
是查爾斯王子發起的 set up by Prince Charles,
由此幾年前誕生了北海岸500號公路 a few years ago it came up with the North Coast 500.
現在 它是蘇格蘭版的美國66號公路 Now, this was going to be Scotland's answer to Route 66 in America.
數百公里的絕世風景 令人驚嘆 Miles of amazing scenery. Incredible road.
這裡有張局部照片 Got a picture of a bit of it here.
看哪 Look at that.
大獲成功 Huge success.
土豪們慕名而來 Loads of big spenders came
開著他們的蘭博基尼 法拉利和保時捷 with their Lamborghinis, and their Ferraris and their Porsches.
旅館住滿 飯店爆棚 Hotels were full, restaurants were packed.
當地經濟騰飛 Local economy booming.
所以你覺得要過多久 So how long do you think it was
當地的報紙的頭條 before the local newspaper
會包含以下兩個詞 carried a headline containing the following words:
"警方"和"鎮壓" "police" and "crackdown"?
十天 Ten days.
-兩天吧 -兩天 - Two days. - Two days.
"噢 我們不能讓人在上面開車 "Oh, we can't have people driving along that!
你很可能會撞到路人" You might run into a pedestrian!"
這是條路 It's a road!
我就知道 然後就有了A9公路 I know it is. And then you've got the A9.
160公里布滿測速相機 Ninety-nine miles of continuous average speed camera.
-160嗎？-160公里 - Ninety-nine? - Ninety-nine miles.
不好意思各位 我猜你們都是車迷吧 Now, I'm sorry, you lot, I presume you're all petrolheads, yes?
是的 Yes!
那我來問你們一個問題 So let me ask you a question.
在很多年後 Dying in your beds,
電影《勇敢的心》經典台詞 講述蘇格蘭起義領袖與英格蘭抗爭的故事
你臨終之際 many years from now...
你願意用這所有 ...would you be willing to trade all the days,
剩下的日子 from this day to that,
來換取一個機會 for one chance,
祇有一次機會 just one chance,
回到這裡 告訴蘇格蘭安全攝像頭企業 to come back and say to the Scottish Safety Camera Partnership,
"你們可以拿走我們的駕照 "You can take our licences,
但你們奪不走我們的自由" but you can't take our freedom"?
自由 自由 AUDIENCE: Freedom! Freedom!
自由 自由 自由 Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!
看看你幹了些什麼 Now look what you've done!
謝謝大家 Thank you.
看看你的所作所為 Look what you've done!
-我知道 -這很危險 - I know. - That's dangerous!
-我知道 -讓我們繼續節目 - I know. - Let's get on with the show.
好的 在今晚的汽車節目中 Yes. In tonight's car programme...
罐子裡有隻螞蟻 An ant in a jar.
一隻狗在引路 A dog on a lead.
桌子上有些豆 And some beans on a table.
但是首先 But first,
當有人想買一輛 when someone wants to buy
又大又快的轎車 a large and very fast saloon car,
他們喜歡買德國車 they tend to buy German.
他們覺得沒其他選擇 They think there is no alternative.
但真的沒有嗎 But is there?
這是一輛雷克薩斯GS F This is the Lexus GS F.
一眼就知道 這不是輛很好看的車 And straight away, we can see that it isn't an especially handsome car.
而且這是輛雷克薩斯 And it's a Lexus,
表明車主是個高爾夫發燒友 which marks its owner out as a golf enthusiast
或者是個呆子 and possibly... a bore.
更糟的是 And things are worse
當你試圖和它共處的時候 when you try to live with it for a while.
煩人的是 除了方向盤上的那些按鈕 The most annoying thing, apart from the buttons on the steering wheel,
似乎所有按鈕都會把收音機調到你不喜歡的電台 all of which seem to retune the radio to a station you don't like very much,
不光這個 每當你想伸手 apart from that, every time you reach for
拿杯架上的提神飲料時 a can of zesty drink in the cup holder...
我又手賤了 I've done it again!
你總會不小心碰到鼠標 You can't help but nudge the mouse
它會把導航的目的地設置到 which sets the destination on the satnav
你現在的位置 to where you are.
在300米後 右轉 SATNAV: In 300 yards, right turn.
我不用你告訴我怎麼走 I don't need to be told how to get here.
我已經在這兒了 I'm already here.
右轉 然後右轉 Next right, then right turn.
噢天哪 現在它想讓我退回去 Oh, God. Now it's trying to make me go back there a few yards.
我開過了啊 I was there!
所以 除了這個費事又討厭的導航 So, apart from a fiddly and annoying satnav...
前方右轉 然後右轉 SATNAV: Next right, then right turn.
這7萬英鎊還能買到什麼 ...what else do you get for your ￡70,000?
額 講真沒什麼了 Er... Not much, really.
車裡沒有Wi-Fi Er... You don't get Wi-Fi
沒有蘋果Carplay 或者手勢控制 or Apple CarPlay, or gesture control.
連雙離合變速箱都沒有 You don't even get a DSG gearbox.
行駛時座椅不能按摩 Seats don't massage you as you drive along,
也不會自動泊車 it can't park itself.
但有一個DVD播放器 But you do get a DVD player.
這多懷舊啊 And how 1996 is that?
這輛車配置匱乏 還煩人 This car, then, is sparsely equipped and annoying.
然而 同時它也相當棒 However, it's also rather good.
首先 是它的引擎 First of all, there's the engine.
寶馬和奔馳都使用渦輪增壓 BMW and Mercedes both use turbocharging
來達到動力需求 to balance the need for power
和排放要求的平衡 with the need for good emissions...
但這輛車不是 but this doesn't.
它把燃料和空氣混合 This mixes the fuel with the air,
然後 沒耍什麼花招 and then, with no trickery at all,
就這麼點燃了 blows it up!
當然 這意味著 Of course, that does mean
GS F對動物們不太友好 the GS F isn't very kind to animals.
但毫無疑問 這是件壞事 And that's a bad thing, make no mistake.
但從好的方面看 But on the upside,
聽聽它發出的噪音 listen to the noise it makes!
中轉速時 它聽起來很凶惡 At medium revs, it sounds baleful,
就像一條孤單的狗 like a... lonely dog.
但當你拉高轉速時 它就像它自己 But when you build the revs up, it sounds like what it is:
一台5升的自然吸氣V8 a normally aspirated five-litre V8.
它發出的功率和扭矩 It doesn't produce anything like the power or the torque
比不上德國的競爭對手 you get from its turbocharged German rivals,
但就純粹的激情而言 but for sheer excitement...
就像被女神撓癢了一樣 It's like being tickled by a goddess.
而且它也不是很慢 And it's not exactly slow.
它百公里加速4.5秒 It does 0-60 in four-and-a-half seconds.
最高時速能達到272公里 And flat out, it'll do nearly 170 miles an hour.
然後是操控性 And then there's the handling.
很難相信這是一輛 It's hard to believe that this is a large
大型五座豪華轎車 and extremely comfortable five-seater
後備箱大到能放下高爾夫球桿 with a boot that's big enough for your golf bats
和所有的共濟會用品 and all your Freemasonry paraphernalia,
因為 它感覺像一輛跑車 because... it feels like a sports car.
你可以用各種開關和按鈕 You can change the way the car behaves
來調整車輛的表現 with various knobs here and buttons here,
但我把所有東西都關了 but I've got everything turned off
所以我能體驗一下沒有電子輔助 so I can get a feel for how the car behaves
這輛車會如何表現 without an electronic safety blanket.
而且我很喜歡 And I like it!
看看這個 Look at that.
不僅低速時轉向優秀 The steering's not brilliant at low speeds,
當你把車尾甩起來的時候 but when you've got the arse hanging out like that...
這太棒了 it's fantastic!
是的 Yes!
是時候再來杯提神飲料了 Time for another zesty drink.
噢 我去 Oh, damn it!
-三百米後... -我知道我在哪兒 - SATNAV: In 300 yards... - I know where I am!
前方右轉 然後右轉 Next right. Then right turn.
噢 饒了我吧 Oh, for God's sake!
如果是日常生活用車 For living with on a day-to-day basis,
德國車要好得多 German cars are far better.
但作為一台駕駛機器 你會對這結論感到驚訝 But as a driving machine, and you may find this conclusion surprising...
我認為GS F吊打它們 I think the GS F has them licked.
在路測過程中 有一些動物受到了傷害
好吧 Well, well.
現在 Now...
我要說 今年晚些時候新的寶馬M5要發布了 Now, I should point out, there is a new BMW M5 coming later this year,
但它要超過GS F可不容易 but it'll have to go some to be better than that GS F.
-的確 -是的 - It really will. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
但在製作的時候有多少動物受到了傷害 But exactly how many animals were harmed in the making of it?
-很多動物 -還有一祇是烏龜 - A lot! - One of them was a tortoise!
我知道 我們先無視吧 I know. Let's gloss over that, OK?
我們來看看它在埃博拉症賽道上能跑多快 And let's find out now how fast the Lexus goes round the Eboladrome.
當然 這就要把它交給那個人 And that, of course, means handing it over to a man
他認為水果是來自蘇聯的 who thinks that fruit is from the Soviet Union.
是的 有請老美 Yeah, it's the American.
他蓄勢待發 He's coiled and ready.
他出發了 And he's off!
釋放出所有471匹馬力 Unleashing all the 471 wailing horsepower
開始不直道上的第一次衝刺 for the first sprint of the Isn't Straight.
這裡面都是什麼破爛玩意兒 What the hell does all this shit do in here?
他需要的祇是兩個踏板和一個方向盤 All he needs is two pedals and a wheel
就能霸氣外露 to unleash the full shock and awe.
牽引力控制系統 Traction control?
如果你想要有自己思想的東西 If you want something with a mind of its own...
買匹馬 找個老婆 get a horse, get married.
幸運的是 他不需要電子輔助 Fortunately, he doesn't need the electronic nannies.
全力進入留你名彎 Pushing it hard up to Your Name Here,
現在全靠這強大的布倫博卡鉗 and now leaning on the mighty Brembo brakes.
這裡輕一點 讓扭矩矢量差速器發揮作用 Gentle now, letting the torque-vectoring diff do its thing.
再次踩下油門 And then back on the throttle
強大的V8得以再次一展歌喉 so that mighty V8 can sing its song once more.
如果他們讓我帶槍的話 If they would have let me bring my gun,
我現在可能已經自殺了 I'd have probably shot myself by now.
那實在是浪費人才 And that would be a waste of great talent.
好的 再次快速通過不直道 Right, another fast dash up the Isn't,
八速自動變速箱快速降檔 and now shifting rapidly down the eight-speed automatic
到達老奶房彎 as he arrives at Old Lady's House.
精準給油通過顛簸的賽道 Feeding it precisely through there on this damp track,
在掀起破損路面前到達了變電箱彎 before opening it up for the broken surface down to Substation.
固定阻尼器表現很出色 Giving the fixed-rate dampers a good workout here.
還剩兩個彎 Two corners left.
這裡走線很緊 Tidy through there.
祇剩綿羊坡彎了 Just Field of Sheep to go.
抓地力到極限了 衝過終點 And he's right on the edge of the grip and across the line!
看起來的確不錯 It did look good. It did look good.
-的確不錯 -成績怎麼樣 - It did look good. - How did it do?
啊哈 A-ha!
好的 來看看在圈速榜上表現如何 Well, now let's find out where it goes on the Lap Board.
別忘了 這是濕地圈 Remember, it was damp.
噢 哇哦 Oh, wow! Wow!
這比舊款的寶馬還要慢 So it's slower than an already-out-of-date BMW,
它讓你像個共濟會員 it makes you look like a Freemason,
它還會讓動物爆炸 and it causes animals to explode.
是的 但是 Yes. Yes, but--
是的 但你又給了一個優秀的推薦 傑裡米 Yes, but it's just another of your excellent recommendations, Jeremy.
非常感謝 沒有關係 Thank you very much. Never mind.
是的 真是謝謝你了 Yes, thank you very much, indeed.
現在我們得繼續了 And now we must move on,
因為是時候把導航終點設置為嘮嗑了 because it is time to set the satnav for destination chat,
我們也駛向嘮嗑街 as we head down Conversation Street.
-那很疼 -很疼嗎 - It hurt. - That hurt?
-很疼啊 -是嗎 沒上星期我挨酒瓶那下疼 - It hurt. - It did? But not as much as the wine bottle last week.
現在奔馳想出了一個方案 Now, Mercedes, they've come up with this plan, or this idea,
當你不用車的時候 可以把車租出去 where you can rent your car out when you're not using it.
這是不是有點像Airbnb Is that a bit like erm... Airbnb?
一模一樣 Exactly like Airbnb.
奔馳沒有意識到 The thing Mercedes haven't realised is that we,
我相信你肯定同意 and I'm sure you all agree with me,
我們和車之間形成了感情紐帶 we form an emotional bond with our car.
-我們心系愛車 -正是 - We're attached to them. - Exactly.
所以把車租給別人 So renting it to someone else
就像把你的寵物租給別人 would be like renting out your pet.
是的 或者你的丁丁 Yeah, or your penis.
-是的 -我心系著它 就是這個意思 - Yes. - I'm attached to it, I mean. That's what I mean.
是個人都這樣想 One would hope so, yeah.
你肯定不想看到它和別人歡度時光 You wouldn't want to see somebody else having fun with it.
-是啊 它是我的 -說得好 - No, it's mine! - Exactly. Exactly.
這就是我想說的 奔馳顯然沒好好動腦子 And that's what I'm on about. Mercedes has obviously got it into its head,
這實在讓我擔憂 因為奔馳是大企業 and this really worries me, because it's a large car company,
如果車祇是工具 就像微波爐 或者冰箱一樣 that cars are just tools, like microwave ovens or fridge freezers,
那我們就很樂意 "借唄 反正我不在乎" that we'll just sort of gladly, "Borrow it. I don't really care."
你太對了 它們都有感情的 You're absolutely right. They are very emotional.
因為如果你有輛車 最後賣掉了 Because you know if you have a car, eventually you sell it,
但當你看見別人開它的時候 總會難過 but then you see somebody else driving around in it, that always feels bad.
就像你看見前女友和別人嘿嘿嘿一樣 It's a bit like watching your ex-girlfriend do sex with someone else.
對的 在衣櫃裡熬了一晚上以後 深有體會 No. And after a terrible evening in a wardrobe, I know.
奇怪地深蝕人心 It's strangely undermining.
不好意思打斷一下 看到湖裡的圓圈了嗎 I'm sorry to interrupt. See those circles in the lake just there?
-水怪 水怪啊 - Monster! Monster! It's a monster!
-我剛剛看見... 有人看見了嗎 -是水怪 水怪 - I just saw... Did anyone else see that? - Monster! Monster!
早說了 是真的 It's real. I told you.
我們沒法統一意見 湖裡有水怪嗎 Since we can't agree on this, is there a monster in the loch?
有 AUDIENCE: Yes!
好的 他們住這兒 肯定知道 Right, there you go. They live here, they would know.
如果沒水怪 那這裡的旅遊業怎麼搞 And if there were no monster, what would you do for a tourist industry up here?
賣沒有水怪圖案的抹布 Sell tea towels without monsters on them.
不 我不買賬 因為你說的是 No, I'm not having that, because what you're saying is,
"來美麗的蘇格蘭吧" 就像你說的 路美風景美 "Come to beautiful Scotland." As you've said, lovely roads, lovely scenery.
這兒有個酒店 有個美麗的湖 There's a hotel, a beautiful lake.
他們為什麼要說 "是啊 但這有個水怪" Why would they say, "Yeah, but there's a monster"?
就好像在說 "來約克郡吧 That would be like saying, "Come to Yorkshire.
它很美麗 你知道我們這兒有瘟疫嗎" It's beautiful. We've got the plague, you know?"
-肯定不會這麼說 -我們有點分心了 - They they wouldn't do that. - We've got distracted a little bit.
-有點跑題 -我們在說什麼來著 - We have got a bit off-topic. - What were we talking about?
我們在說他躲在衣櫃裡 We were talking about him hiding in a wardrobe,
看他的前女友嘿嘿嘿 watching an ex-girlfriend have sex.
-是的 說漏了 -是有點說漏了 - Yeah, that was an over-share. - It was a bit of an over-share.
要不就是他把丁丁租出去的事 我忘了 It was either that or he'd rented his penis out. I can't remember.
類似這些事 Something along those lines.
但實際上 我們想和車建立情感紐帶 But actually, there's a point I just want to make on this
是有原因的 about this emotional connection we have with our cars.
你知道報廢一輛車是什麼感覺嗎 非常悲慘 Cos you know when you scrap a car? It really is very tragic.
你目送著與你經歷風雨的車進入粉碎機 When you watch a car that's got all those shared memories going into the crusher.
-窮途末路了 -是的 - It's the end of the road. - It is.
有個新的組織 There's this... a new organisation.
叫做慈善汽車 你可以把車給他們 It's called Charity Car, where you can give your car to them,
他們搞定所有的手續 然後拿走你的車 they deal with all the paperwork and what have you and take your car away.
然後他們把募集的錢捐給你指定的慈善組織 Yeah? And then they give the money that they raised to a charity of your choice.
-好主意 我喜歡 -好點子 - That's a nice idea. I like that. - It is a nice idea.
這樣一來 雖然車沒了很難過 So that, you know, it's sad your old car's gone,
但是有一頭驢子能被拯救 but now... you know, a donkey can be rescued.
你的車就能在野驢的微笑中永遠活著 And your car lives on in the smile of an abandoned donkey.
太感人了 這就是我們要做的 That's a beautiful thing. That's what we're about.
這就是節目的精髓 走心 That's what this show is, it's all heart.
-就是我們 -愛心和道路安全: - It's what we are. - Heart and road safety: those are the two pillars
支撐我們節目的兩大支柱 that underpin everything, really, on this show.
-我要跟你嘮嗑一下 -是嗎 - I've got some conversation for you. - Have you?
是的 有這麼一個網站 Yes, which is that there's a website that tells you
它會告訴你在英國的公路上 how many of any given type of car
還剩下多少種型號的汽車 are still left on the roads of Britain today, yes?
恐怕有一些壞消息 And I'm afraid we have some sad news.
是的 實在是憂心 Yeah, we do. This is a big worry.
你還記得雪鐵龍Saxo VTS嗎 就是它 You remember the Citroën Saxo VTS, yeah? There it is.
憤怒小混混之車 The car of the angry yob.
很適合飛身下車再偷把電鋸進去 It is the ideal car to nip out and steal a chainsaw in.
一輛絕妙的 像樣的 刺激的小掀背 我很喜歡 A fabulous, proper, fizzy little hatchback. Loved it.
在2008年 還有5000輛這車 Well, in 2008, there were 5,000 of them on the road.
-今年 祇剩491輛了 -看到沒 - This year, 491 left on the road. - See?
而且事實上 這令人擔憂 And, in fact... I know, this is a worry.
看 這有個圖表 我們畫的 Look, we've got a little chart. We've drawn this up.
按這個速度 到2019年 它就滅絕了 At that rate, by 2019, they'll all have gone.
還有沃克斯豪爾Calibra 16V There's also the Vauxhall Calibra 16V.
這裡有張照片 我們過去很愛它 There's a picture. We used to love that.
你知道嗎 這款車祇剩323輛了 Do you know, there are only 323 of those left,
一年之內就會滅絕 and they could be extinct within a year.
有趣的是 全世界的人都在努力 And what's interesting is there are people all over the world
保護老虎不至滅絕 working hard to save the tiger from extinction,
然而卻沒有人 but nobody is doing anything
保護Calibra 16V to save the Vauxhall Calibra 16V.
-我們似乎發現了些什麼 -不並沒有 - We've identified something here. - No, there isn't.
然而 還是有好消息的 莫瑞斯Ital However, there is some good news in all of this. The Morris Ital.
一共有175000... 175,000 of these...
...坨這樣的屎 turds were made,
被奧斯汀汽車拉出來 were squeezed out by the Austin.
在2015年 它祇剩35輛了 And in 2015, there were only 35 left.
是的 現在歡呼吧 Yes! Now you can cheer!
-這是好消息 -的確 - That is good news. - It's good news.
路上祇有35輛 Only 35 on the road.
不 等等等等 你說得很對 No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're absolutely right.
別急著慶祝 是的 2015年祇剩35輛 But before you celebrate, yes, 35 left on the road in 2015.
-嗯哼 -在2016年 有47輛 - Mm-hm. - In 2016... there were 47.
什麼 居然還能增長 What, so they're going up?
-它們在繁衍嗎 -不 - Are they mating? - No. No.
我認為是有人在復原它 I think people are restoring them.
-什麼人 -瘋子 - What people? - Mad people.
-無論如何 有可能你是對的 但我做了一個計算 Anyway, look... No, you're possibly right, but I've done a calculation.
這速率是 一年內增長了34% And at that rate... That's a 34% increase in just one year.
按這個速度 到2044年 And at that rate, by the year 2044,
所有175000輛Ital都會回到路上 all 175,000 Morris Itals will be back on the road.
-噢我的天 -簡直是災難 - Oh, my God! - This is a disaster.
是的 女士們先生們 這就是英國脫歐 It is. That, ladies and gentlemen, is Brexit.
這就是他們想要的: 英國倒退 That's what they want: backwards with Britain.
是時候了 因為嘮嗑街已經走到底 It is time now, since we've reached the end of Conversation Street,
我們掛入倒擋 來看看這個 to select reverse and have a look at this.
這是賓利Bentayga This is the Bentley Bentayga.
巨型奢華四驅的 A massive, luxurious, four-wheel-drive
SUV獵裝車 SUV shooting brake.
問題是 The question is,
這是輛好車 還是祇是一坨... is it any good, or is it a load of...
一坨啥呢 What's the word?
為了找到答案 詹姆斯把它帶到了 Well, to find out, James brought it here...
德國的阿爾卑斯山 to the German Alps.
好的 我直接說明白 Right, I'll get straight to the point.
它太棒了 It is tremendous.
對於這車有件重要的事要記住 The important thing to remember about this car is this.
它不是輛越野車 也不是SUV It's not an off-roader, it's not an SUV.
最重要的是 它是輛賓利 First and foremost, it's a Bentley.
這就是這輛車的靈魂 That's what this car is about.
我已經愛上它了 I'm already loving it.
然而 你猜怎麼著 But then... guess what?
問題在於 這輛賓利裸車 The problem is that a barebones Bentley
價格為16萬英鎊 costs ￡160,000,
而少花12000英鎊 and for ￡12,000 less than that,
你卻可以得到這個 you can have this.
一輛能唱能跳 配置齊全 An all-singing, all-dancing, everything-fitted-as-standard
5升機械增壓的路虎攬勝 5L supercharged Range Rover.
或者再少花12萬英鎊 你可以得到這個 Or, for ￡120,000 less than that, you can have this,
新款捷豹F-PACE the new Jaguar F-PACE.
這可不是花園棚屋 And it's not like this thing is a garden shed.
它配備了各種智能部件 It's got loads of clever stuff on it.
如果你從超市回來 So if you're coming back from the shops
手裡抱著沉重的袋子 with your arms full of heavy bags,
你可以用腳打開後備箱 you can open the boot with your foot.
-攬勝也有這功能 -是 但它貴了12萬英鎊 - Yeah, but I can do that with a Range Rover. - Yes, but it's ￡120,000 more!
-而且你還沒有這個 看 -那是啥 - And you don't get one of these. Look. - What is it?
這是個防水的便攜手環 It's a waterproof, go-anywhere bracelet
你可以用它鎖車 that you use to lock...
解鎖車 還能發動引擎 and unlock it, and start the engine,
所以你不用隨身帶鑰匙了 so you don't need to carry keys in your pocket.
這... That...
-這還真是個好點子 -是啊 很機智 - That's actually quite a good idea. - I know, it's brilliant.
-你怎麼給它充電 -不知道 可能就像手錶一樣 - How do you charge it up? - I don't know. Maybe it's like one of those watches.
-噢 看哪 -噢 -Oh, hello. - Oh.
吹牛老爹來了 Puff Daddy is arriving.
吹牛老爹 原名肖恩·科姆斯 美國說唱歌手
你覺得他戴大金鏈子了嗎 Do you think he's wearing a chain?
那玩意兒是捷豹的四倍價錢 You know, that thing costs four times more than the Jag.
而且不像徽章那樣差異明顯 And it's not like the badges are that different.
捷豹是一輛車 That Jag is... a car.
這更像是一種聲明 This is more of a statement.
這是對生而為人的 This is a new way of understanding
新式詮釋 the condition of being human.
奢華的最終證明 It is the last word in luxury.
這個證明還真是貴 It's a very expensive statement, though.
買這玩意的錢 能買那台捷豹 I mean, if you've got the money to buy that, you could buy the Jag
還剩130,000磅 能雇個公關經理 and still have ￡130,000 to spend on a PR agent
上晨間訪談節目吹噓自己了 to put you on breakfast TV talking about how great you are.
它貴130,000磅是有原因的 It costs ￡130,000 more for a reason.
捷豹車主都是愛幻想的中年男人 Jags are for deluded middle-aged men
整天沉浸在種馬的幻想中 who entertain tragic fantasies about being Lotharios.
我懂 我有四輛 I know, I've had four of them!
-要說喜歡幻想的品牌 -嘿 -If you're talking about brands with delusion - hello!
-首選的就是賓利 -兩位 -Bentley, that's what it is. -Guys.
-怎麼 -在停車場可不能分辨高下 -What? -We are not gonna sort this out in a car park.
我們得去試駕 We need to go for a drive,
我在地圖上已經確定好路線了 and I have worked out a route on this map here, OK?
我們在紫薇村 We are in the village of... Wank,
從紫薇村出發 到親親鄉 and we'll go from... Wank to Kissing,
再到摸摸寨 then on to Petting.
然後... 到這 Then... this place.
最後到領證村 And then... Wedding.
所以是紫薇 親親 摸摸 (嗶~) 領證 So, Wank, Kissing, Petting, (BLEEP), Wedding.
沒錯 在中歐可以走遍人生旅途 Yes. It'll be a journey through life without leaving Central Europe.
是的 出發吧 Yeah, it will. Let's do it.
我們十分性奮 Very excited,
踏上了德國人所謂的浪漫之旅 we set off on what the Germans call the Romantic Road.
北 浪漫公路 南
我們離開了紫薇村 So, we are leaving the town of Wank.
那是什麼 "謝謝..." What's that? "Thank you for..."
什麼 哦好的 What? Oh, yeah.
祇過了幾分鐘 And after just a few minutes,
就發生了很不尋常的事情 something very unusual happened.
夥計們 Guys...
我想不出話說 I can't think of anything to say.
松了一口氣 What a relief.
不 我是真的想不出 No, but I really can't,
因為如果你想要一輛大型豪華越野車 because if you want a large, luxury off-roader,
你就買攬勝 you buy a Range Rover.
結束 The end.
結案 繼續 The end, move on.
然而詹姆斯 James, however,
對他的Bentayga有很多話要說 had lots to say about his Bentayga.
嘿老兄 你知道嗎 Hey, chaps, did you know
我車上有18個揚聲器 the stereo in my car has got 18 speakers?
才這麼點 我有27個 Is that all? Mine's got 27.
嗯 都在放垃圾歌 Yeah, all playing rubbish.
謝謝 哈蒙德 Thanks, Hammond.
其實27個揚聲器不是重點 Actually, 27 speakers is not the point.
它的音響有1950瓦功率 My car stereo produces 1,950W,
它是車載音響功率最大的車 making it the most powerful stereo ever put in a car.
實際上 音響是車內唯一能響的東西了 In fact, it's about the only thing in here that does make a noise.
這有點像在大英圖書館裡開車 This is a little bit like driving along in the British Library.
非常安靜 非常優雅 It's very quiet, it's very refined.
地毯非常厚 The carpets are very thick.
這意味著 當你踩下踏板的時候 Which means you simply aren't ready for what happens
你不知道會發生什麼 when you put your foot down.
它配備了全新的600馬力W12引擎 So this has an all-new W12 600-horsepower engine,
就像身處於皮革包裹的火山爆發中 and it's like being in a leather-trimmed volcanic eruption.
它不加速 而是直接爆炸 It doesn't accelerate, it goes off.
我的姑奶奶 Bloody Nora!
可惜的是 傑裡米想出要說的了 Sadly, at this point, Jeremy thought of something to say.
看到了嗎 那是希特勒 See that? That's the prison
寫下《我的奮鬥》的監獄 where Hitler wrote Mein Kampf.
嗯 你想說什麼呢 Yeah. Where are you going with that?
沒什麼 Nowhere, really.
祇是覺得你們會想知道 Just thought you might like to know.
好的 我們回到車上 Good. Let's get back to the cars.
因為現在捷豹和路虎是一家公司的 Now, you might be thinking that because Jaguar is owned by the same company
所以你會覺得這是輛貼捷豹牌的神行者 that own Land Rover, this is just a Freelander with a Jaguar badge on it,
但並不是 but it's not.
車身下是和捷豹XE相同的 Underneath is the same basic aluminium structure
全鋁車架 you find under a Jaguar XE,
XE是好車 所以這很好 which is a fantastic car, so that's good.
我的確祇有3升的機械增壓V6 I do only get a 3L supercharged V6,
也就是375馬力 which means 375 brake horsepower.
比船長那輛少了225馬力 講真 That's 225 less than James's, let's be honest,
那就是輛真皮的Q7 leather-lined Audi Q7.
但是這輛車很輕 But this is light,
所以沒那麼笨拙 so it ain't no slouch.
我喜歡它的操控 I like the way this thing handles itself.
我喜歡它轉向的方式 I like the way, when you change direction,
它控制了車重 when you turn, it controls its weight,
過彎時重心轉移 what there is of it, across the axles.
讓人覺得敏捷又有活力 That makes it feel nimble, eager.
不會有坐在豪宅裡掉下懸崖的感覺 It doesn't feel like I'm sitting in a stately home falling off a cliff.
不久 我追上了船長 Soon, James was in my way.
噢看吶 Oh, look.
你應該來我這兒 這兒能看見白金漢宮 James, you should be where I am. You can see Buckingham Palace and...
哦不 是你的車屁股 Oh, no, it's the back of your car.
我喜歡有人跟在後面 你是要去度假嗎 I like it when my man is following me. Do you have the luggage for the weekend?
得了吧 詹姆斯 Come on, James.
可能你的馬力用不完 但你擋路了 You might have all the horsepower in the world, but you are in the way.
省省吧 伯明翰小子 Stay with that, Birmingham boy.
詹姆斯 你是怕開太快了傢具會晃嗎 James, are you worried all your furniture will slide about if you go any faster?
噢隧道 Oh, tunnel.
很好 我有正事要做 Excellent. I have important work to do.
賤民們真是幹什麼都要發出點聲音 Honestly, the plebs make such a noise about everything.
這就是"運動多功能車"裡的"運動" That is putting the S back in SUV.
這是輛很運動的SUV This is a sporty sports-utility vehicle.
這項運動還不是釣魚 And the sport is not fishing.
可惜 娛樂時間被大猩猩 Sadly, our playtime was then interrupted
惱人的電話打斷了 by a worrying call from Clarkson.
夥計們 我收到製片人的短信 Erm... guys, we've had a text from Mr Wilman.
噢天吶 他說什麼 Oh, God. What does it say?
他說為了區分性能的差異 It said that to sort out the performance differences,
我們要去附近的一個機場 we should go to a nearby airstrip,
他準備了一場競速 where he'd laid on some competition.
我們去了 So we did.
夥計們 這是我們的競爭對手 Chaps, this is what we're up against.
寶馬X5 M BMW X5 M.
4.4升雙渦輪增壓 567馬力 4.4L, twin-turbocharged, 567 horsepower.
真是嚴峻的考驗 That is fairly serious competition.
好好想想 這是英國對陣德國 If you think about it, it's gonna be Britain versus Germany.
其實不對 你們的是印度車 我的也是德國車 Well, not really. Your two cars are Indian and mine's German as well.
行吧 那就是印度對陣德國 All right, it's gonna be India versus Germany,
我會用強大又輕盈的捷豹取得勝利 and I shall be victorious in my mighty lighty Jaguar.
-好吧 -行 但是你贏不了 - Right. - Well, you see, you won't be.
這輩子都贏不了 Not in a million years.
抱歉浪費你們的時間來比賽了 Sorry about wasting your time with this race.
你可以發布一輛車 時速一百萬英里 You could launch a car that does a million miles an hour
祇賣8毛錢 還能在水上開 and costs 8 pence and runs on water,
但人們還是會買攬勝 and people would still buy Range Rovers,
因為不然買啥呢 because why would you not?
好的 空調關閉 OK, air-conditioning is off.
現在是動態模式 變速箱在運動模式 It's in dynamic mode, gearbox is in sport.
給力啊 小捷豹 Come on, little Jag.
我並不擔心粉紅小豬的威脅 So I'm not really worried about Pinky and Perky's challenge,
但BMW讓我很緊張 but the BMW does worry me.
差不多的功率 還比我輕得多 Almost as much power, very obviously lighter.
英國的很多有錢人 A lot of well-to-do people in Britain
都想知道這場比賽的結果 will want to know the result of this race
就在他們決定明年的狩獵季 before they choose what colour Range Rover they'd like
要買什麼顏色的攬勝之前 for next year's shooting season.
賓利去哪兒了 Where's the Bentley gone?
我要輸了 同志們 I'm losing, everybody.
加油啊 Come on!
150碼... 哦不 150... Oh, no!
哦不 他怎麼開這麼快的 Oh, no! Where is he getting that from?
小菜一碟 Easy.
墊底了 鐵定墊底了 Last. Stone-dead last.
媽蛋 Bugger it.
好的 做得好 詹姆斯 Yes, yes. Well done, James.
誰會想到 如果花四倍的錢買車 Oh, who knew, if you spend four times as much on a car,
就會比另一輛車稍微快一點點呢 you get one that's a tiny bit faster than another?
噓 你們還沒明白嗎 Ssh! You two just haven't got the message, have you?
-明白什麼 你輸了嗎 -好吧... - What, that you lost? - Yeah. Well...
不 這很明白了 就像內褲 No, the message is very clear. Underpants, OK?
你可以在商場貨架上買條便宜的 You can buy a cheap pair from a market stall,
或者可以買一條含有金絲的昂貴內褲 or you can buy an expensive pair with gold thread in them,
或者像其他人一樣 去瑪莎百貨買 or you can do what everyone does, you go to Marks & Spencer's.
瑪莎百貨 如果你不是英國人 Marks & Spencer's, if you're watching this not in the UK,
那就是所有人買內褲的地方 is where we all buy our pants from.
但我不去那兒買 Well, I don't.
比賽過後 我們繼續旅途 After the race, we resumed our journey,
而理查德和詹姆斯則繼續鬥嘴 and Richard and James resumed their bickering.
F-PACE是啥意思 聽起來像家用清潔劑 What does F-PACE mean? It sounds like a domestic cleaning product.
我覺得你的賓利不要後視鏡了 I think your Bentley would look better with alabaster lions
放兩頭大理石獅子比較配 instead of door mirrors.
我想問 你的手套箱是不是永遠打不開了 I was going to ask if the glovebox is permanently locked shut in the Jag,
因為你錢包放在那兒 because that's where you keep your wallet.
賓利的前臉看起來很傻 The front of your Bentley looks silly.
看起來有點呆滯 It just looks a bit daft.
你怎麼沒接手布萊恩·修耶爾的工作呢 And why was it you didn't get Brian Sewell's old job?
布萊恩·修耶爾 英國評論家 收藏家
賓利Bentayga的選配列表裡 Does the options list for your Bentley Bentayga
有沒有假想祖先的油畫呢 include oil paintings of imaginary ancestors?
對他們兩人發出的噪音 我深表抱歉 I apologise for the noises these two are making.
我知道你們都坐在家裡想 I realise you're all sitting at home going,
"他們爭什麼呢 我就想要攬勝" 肯定是這樣 "What are they on about? I just want the Range Rover." Of course you do.
買賓利的唯一原因 就是你的唱片銷量登頂 The only reason you'd buy the Bentley is cos your hip-hop record's gone to number one,
而買捷豹的唯一原因就是 你買不起攬勝 and the only reason you'd buy the Jag is cos you can't afford a Range Rover.
由於傑裡米提到了錢的問題 Since Jeremy had brought up the subject of money...
我不知道他們是如何做到34000磅起賣 I don't know how they can sell you one of these for from 34 grand.
而且這輛 包含所有選配的 And this one, with everything on it,
除了V6機械增壓引擎 quite apart from a V6 supercharged engine,
還有真皮內飾 iPhone接口 it's got leather everything, iPhone connectivity,
雷達測距 語音控制 電動後備箱 radar-distance control, voice control, electric boot,
戴在手腕上的神奇鑰匙 magic key you wear on your wrist.
所有這些祇要51000磅 怎麼做到的 All of that still only costs 51 grand. How do they do that?
和別的一比 這就是世紀大鉅惠啊 Next to everything else, it suddenly looks like the bargain of the century.
傑裡米 這輛車比你的車好 Jeremy, this car is better than yours.
好吧 它並不是 對嗎 Well, now, it just isn't, is it?
你就是個... 什麼詞來著 You're being a... What's the word?
我們飛速穿過親親鄉 We then flashed through the village of Kissing,
越快完事兒越好 getting it over with as quickly as possible.
然後經過摸摸寨 Then we went through Petting.
為了保證在睡覺前 And to make sure we reached erm...
能夠上三壘 third base before bedtime,
我們決定打開導航 we decided to set our satnavs.
請說出國家名 SATNAV: Please name the country.
奧地利 Austria.
請說出城市名 SATNAV: Please name the city.
法 克銀 Fu-cking.
請再說一次 SATNAV: Excuse me?
沒有聽清 SATNAV: Sorry?
你的目的地是 "色情" 嗎 SATNAV: Is your destination Selking?
不 法啊克銀 No. Fu-cking.
收到克拉克銀 要選擇哪條街道 SATNAV: Kraking has been accepted. Which street should I select?
沒有聽清 SATNAV: Sorry?
我沒法說 人們聽著呢 I can't say it. People are listening.
沒有聽清 SATNAV: Sorry?
謝天謝地 哈蒙德決定手動設置 Thankfully, Hammond had decided to program
他那便宜為本的導航系統 his bargain-basement system manually.
法 F.
啊 U.
克 K.
搞定了 It's gone in!
不久 我們穿過邊境進入奧地利 And soon, we crossed the border into Austria.
奧地利非常非常美麗 It's very, very pretty, Austria.
想不通為什麼希特勒心情那麼差 No idea why Hitler was in such a bad mood.
終於 我們到達了 Eventually, we arrived...
這裡 here.
所以這是一路以來的高潮嗎 So is this the climax of this stage of our journey?
這就是人們所嚮往的嗎 Is it all it's cracked up to be?
我就想知道這個 That's what I want to know.
因為第一次去的時候 總會有些失望 Cos often it can be a disappointment, the first time you go there.
我第一次來的時候 找不到進去的入口 The first time I came here, I couldn't find the way in.
一旦我們進入了... Once we'd arrived in...
詹姆斯很渴望 ...James was very keen
我們能夠進入他賓利的後面 we should get in the back of his Bentley.
很不和諧的是 你坐在一輛賓利裡 What's really incongruous about this is that you're very obviously in a Bentley.
所有東西都很賓利 All this looks very Bentley,
直到你看到下面這個旋鈕上的圖標 until you look down here and see these symbols on this control knob,
它顯然是輛正兒八經的越野車 and it's very obviously a serious off-roader.
什麼 那些圖標 Oh, what, those symbols?
所以你可以設置為 So you can set it for
沼澤 雷區 聖誕或墨西哥模式嗎 很好 swamp, minefield, Christmas or Mexico? Nice.
-是的 哈蒙德 -我來告訴你一些關於木材 - Yes, Hammond. - Shall I tell you something interesting about the wood,
或者其他可選木材的趣事吧 or one of the woods you can have in this?
它祇在亞洲的一塊峭壁上生長 It only grows on a cliff face in Asia,
他們要使用繩降來獲取這些木材 and the way they get it is they have to abseil down it with their woodworking tools.
為什麼不直接用林子裡的樹 Why don't they just use wood from a tree that grows in a field?
這兒有什麼普通的東西嗎 Is everything standard in here?
-沒有 -沒有嗎 - No. - No?
-沒有 -所以這輛車多少錢 - No. - So how much is this car?
-就這輛嗎 -對 - This particular one? - Yes.
-大概212000英鎊左右 -什麼 - Is 212,000 and something. - What?
這說明這車的選配件 So that means the extras in this car
比哈蒙德的整輛捷豹還貴 cost more than Hammond's entire Jaguar?
-你捷豹多少錢 -差不多 - How much is your Jag? - About the same.
-捷豹帶所有選配 -一共51450英鎊 - What, that Jag with all the extras? - That is ￡51,450.
而這輛車有52000英鎊的選配件 And this has got ￡52,000 worth of extras in it?
選配件就比整輛捷豹貴一點點 It's just a little bit more on extras than the entire Jag.
這很... 值 It's great... value.
-詹姆斯 我能說嗎 -說吧 - Can I just say, James... - Yes, do.
我的確很喜歡這車的內飾 ...I do quite like the interior of this car.
不 說真的 我喜歡這絎縫皮革 No, I do. I'll be honest. I like the quilted leather,
我喜歡這來自峭壁的木頭 所有一切 I like the wood that comes from a cliff and all of that.
但這外觀 抱歉 實在太醜了 But the exterior, I'm sorry, it's hideous.
-醜 巨醜 -好吧 等一下 - Ugly. Pig ugly. - Yeah, well, hang on a minute.
你還記得嗎 在很久之前 Because, do you remember, and it is a long time ago,
當大陸GT剛發布的時候 when the Continental GT first came out,
所有人都覺得醜 we all thought that was hideous...
-是的 -現在我們都喜歡它了 - It was. - ...and now we all love it.
-難得我們統一意見 -是 真的 - It's one of the few things we agree on. - Yes. Yes, that's true.
但我覺得這更像你 But I think this is more like you.
當我最初遇見你時 我覺得你醜 When I first met you, I thought you were ugly.
而現在 我還是覺得你醜 And now I still think you're ugly.
來自帥氣男子的苛刻批評 A crushing criticism from one so handsome.
-詹姆斯 -什麼 - James? - What?
解開門鎖 Unlock the doors.
詹姆斯 請開門 James, please unlock the doors.
我們在... 這個地方 We're in... this place.
在車後座上 In the back of a car,
兩個人 together.
嘆為觀止啊 這些地方 It is remarkable, isn't it? All those places...
我確定 所有這些地名都是真的 I'm sure... All those place names are real.
-是真的 真地名 -是的 - They are real. Yeah, real places. - They really are.
地名都是真的 Those place names are real.
好的 我們晚點再看那沒意義的測試 Anyway, we'll pick up that pointless test later on.
-不是沒意義的 -它就是 - It's not pointless! - Yes, it is.
我已經完美地用內褲理論解釋了 I already explained it perfectly well with the underpants thing.
我一會兒還會用更多地例子來闡釋 And I shall be explaining using more demonstrations later on.
-噢 好了 -但現在到了 - Oh, good. - But now it is time
明星腦碰腦環節 for Celebrity Brain Crash!
好的 我們的嘉賓 Now, our guest...
今天的嘉賓 our guest today,
他執導了蝙蝠俠 人猿猩球 he directed Batman, Planet Of The Apes,
剪刀手愛德華 Edward Scissorhands.
而且 在上次水雷事故後 And, after last week's mine disaster,
他決定從水雷下方來演播室 he's decided to come to the studio underneath the mines
坐的是小型潛水艇 in a miniature submarine.
女士們先生們 蒂姆·波頓 Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Burton!
這是潛水艇 他在那兒 Here is the submarine. There he is,
在水雷下悄悄前進 sneaking underneath the mines.
-很明智 -他機智地游過來 - Clever. - As he heads cleverly towards us.
-他就在外面某處 -就在那兒 太棒了 - He's out there somewhere. - He's out there somewhere. This is fantastic.
-我們要跟他聊什麼 -太多了 - What are we gonna talk to him about? - There's so much.
-你想問他什麼 -有關聖誕夜驚魂的 - What do you want to ask him? - About The Nightmare Before Christmas.
我最愛的聖誕電影 It's my favourite Christmas film.
是嗎 我想問他和約翰尼德普搭檔感覺如何 Is it? I want to know what it's like to work with Johnny Depp.
是啊 要問的太多了 Yeah, there's a lot to talk to him about.
噢 在嗎 Oh, hello.
潛水艇的信號中斷了 We've lost the feed somehow from the sub.
噢我的神啊 我的天 Oh, God Almight... Oh, my God!
哦不 Oh, no!
顯然潛水艇遭遇了災難性的事故 There's obviously been a catastrophic failure with the submarine.
-不知道什麼引起的 -是水怪咬壞了 - No idea what could have caused it. - The monster's bitten it!
第一百次聲明了 哈蒙德 For the hundredth time, Hammond,
沒有尼斯湖水怪這種東西 there is no such thing as the Loch Ness Monster.
這就是說他來不了了 Does that mean he's not coming on, then?
船長 他的肺被灌滿了冰水 已沉入了湖底 Well, James, his lungs have filled with icy water, he's sunk to the bottom,
他的身體被壓成了一個乒乓球的大小 and his body is being compressed to the size of a Ping-Pong ball.
所以他來不了了 So that is a no.
沒關係 我們還有個備用計劃 It's OK, though, because we have a back-up plan.
-我們有嗎 -是的 - Do we? - Yes.
你看 事情是這樣的 這些日子裡 You see, the thing is, these days,
-現在很多的性能車都有彈射起步 -是的 - a lot of performance cars have launch control. - Ah, yes. Yes.
它生效的方式是你把你的腳同時放在剎車和油門上 The way it works is you put your foot on the throttle and brake at the same time,
汽載計算機會精確計算出你需要多少轉速 and the car's computer works out exactly how many revs you need
輪胎應該有多少滑移率 and exactly how much wheelspin to give the car
從而在你腳離開剎車同時 so that you get an absolutely perfect start
使你的車完成一個完美的起步 as soon as you just take your foot off the brake.
是的 所以我們在想 這究竟什麼時候可以用得上 Yeah, and we were wondering, just when exactly can you use that?
如果你在市中心等紅綠燈的時候 讓車這樣 If you're in a town centre at a set of lights going...
-懂我的意思嘛 -這有一點不文明 - Know what I mean? - It's a bit rude.
是的 就像這個小視頻裡所展示的 It is, as this short film explains.
請來一杯椰奶拿鐵加焦糖 Coconut-milk latte with a caramel shot, please.
好的 一杯椰奶拿鐵加焦- OK, a coconut-milk latte with a caramel--
-要這有何用 -沒用 - What is it for? - Pointless.
事情是這樣的 你不能 The thing is, you can't...
你甚至都不能在賽道上用彈射起步 you can't even use launch control on a race track,
因為三四秒鐘後 發動機的過熱保護就會給發動機斷油 because you can only engage it for three or four seconds before it cuts out.
而且你不知道燈什麼時候變綠 And because you don't know when the lights are gonna go green,
你就不能準確的開始彈射起步 不是嗎 you don't know when your three seconds start, do you?
的確 因為我們認為 Exactly, which is why we have decided
它是有史以來最沒用的發明 it is the most pointless invention ever.
是的 說到沒有意義 Yes, and talking of pointless,
回到我們的片子上 let's get back to our film.
恩 我們對一輛攬勝和其他車做了路測 Er... We're road-testing a Range Rover and some other cars.
從德國的紫薇村開始 We began in the German village of Wank,
計劃穿越親親鄉和摸摸寨 and the plan was to go through Kissing and Petting
前往我們的終點領證村 towards Wedding, which was our destination.
是的 我們開始行動並決定留在啪 Yes, and we pick up the action having decided to spend the night in Fu--
第二天我們在這被露水浸潤的小鎮醒來 We woke the next morning in this dew-kissed village.
在結束了頗為尷尬的早餐之後 And over a rather awkward breakfast,
大猩猩發布了一段言論 Clarkson made an announcement.
我不想傷害或不尊重誰 I don't mean to be hurtful or disrespectful,
但是 恩 but erm...
-說呀 別吞吞吐吐 -好吧 這 - Go on, spit it out. - Well, it's...
就因為我們住這裡 just because we've been here,
並不意味著我們就必須要去領證 doesn't mean we necessarily have to go on to Wedding.
啥 Aw!
我說的是我 不是你 It's me, it's not you.
他說的沒錯 到目前一切都很順利 No, he's right. It's been going so well.
但如果我們去領證 And if we go on to Wedding,
我們就必須一直保持關係 we'll have to carry on and on and on,
穿過瑣事 厭倦 through Routine, Boredom,
怨恨 分床 Resentment, Spare Bedroom,
誘惑 外遇 Temptation, Affair,
覺悟 悔恨 復仇 Discovery, Remorse, Revenge,
離婚 然後到死亡 Divorce, and then it's Death.
或者你可以試試搖一搖 Or you could turn off through Online Dating,
隨便的約炮 事後無盡的悔恨 Meaningless Sex, Bottomless Regret,
破產 然後心肌梗塞 Financial Ruination, and then Heart Attack.
最終又回到死亡 And then you end up at Death anyway.
是的 哈蒙德 這就是為什麼我建議 Exactly, Hammond. And that's why I'm suggesting
與其去領證 that instead of going to... Wedding,
我們還是去紐博格林吧 we go to the Nürburgring.
因為船長的車是唯一可以用德語的 Because James's car was the only one that spoke German,
所以他設置了導航 he set the satnav.
輸入目的地 紐博格林 Ziel eingeben: Nürburgring.
我們出發吧 - And then we set off.
很快 我們來到了Autobahn上 Soon, we were on Germany's Autobahns,
德國、奧地利、瑞士部分路段不限速的高速公路
不禁讓人思考他們有多明智 which got us thinking about how sensible they are.
我們現在在Autobahn上 And here we are on the Autobahn.
沒有限速 No speed limits.
很混亂嗎 並不 Is it chaos? No.
即使你廢除限速 If you remove the speed limits,
人們也不會突然以320kph的時速衝向橋柱 people don't all suddenly drive into bridge supports at 200 miles an hour.
我們才不傻 這就好比你在野生動物園 We're not that stupid. Just as if you leave the gate unlocked
把獅子區的門開著 at the lion closure at a safari park,
我們不會跑進去並在裡面開野餐 we don't all run in and have a picnic.
在過去的15年裡 英國的經濟增長了58% In the last 15 years, Britain's economy has grown by 58%,
而德國增長了102% whereas Germany's has grown by 102%.
這是因為我們都開32kph時人家開320kph And that's because we're all doing 20 miles an hour and they're doing 200.
速度對商業有益 Speed is good for business,
還能拯救生命 and it saves lives as well.
因為當我們行駛在英國的公路上時 Because when we drive down the motorway in Britain,
我們觀察每個台架來看是否有測速相機 we're looking at all the gantries to see if they have speed cameras,
或者看自己的車速表來確保自己沒有超速 or we're looking at our speedometers to make sure we're not breaking the limit.
我們沒有好好看著路 We're not looking where we're going.
對限速的嚴格執行會要人命啊 Heavily enforced speed limits kill people.
Autobahn還讓我們思考 The Autobahn also got us thinking
時間是怎麼改變了SUV的陣營 about how times have changed on the SUV front.
這真的很驚人 一輛越野車 It is amazing, really, that an off-road vehicle
可以坐起來如此穩定 can feel this stable,
如此紮實 我想就是這個詞 this planted, I think the word is.
因為在不遠的過去 Because it's not that long ago,
如果你想想早期的攬勝的那個樣子 if you think about early Range Rovers and the like,
開快了其實是很嚇人的 going fast was actually quite frightening.
他們的遮陽板上有貼紙 你們記得嗎 They had stickers on the sun visors, do you remember,
上面有一個翻車的圖片 with a picture of the car toppling over.
禁止急轉彎 "Avoid sudden swerves."
是的 我完全忘了那個貼紙 Yes, I'd completely forgotten
其實你是對的 的確如此 about that sticker, but you're right, it did.
如果你轉動方向盤 這輛車會翻過來 "If you operate the steering wheel, this vehicle will fall over."
-夥計們 -怎麼了 - Chaps? - What?
這裡沒有限速對吧 There are no speed limits, right?
所以我們可以讓我們的車跑到極速 So we are allowed to go as fast as our cars will go.
但是誰真敢這麼做 But who dares actually do that?
誰敢跑到極速 Who dares go the fastest?
好 如果你們想玩的話 我也要摻和了 Right, if we're going to play that game, I might even join in.
好啊 Bang on.
繼續 詹姆斯 你自便 Go on, James. Help yourself.
走起 299km/h 極速 -真的? - There you go, 187, top speed. - Really?
問題是 你出發的時候就在我後面 現在你還在我後面 The thing is, you were behind me when you started and you still are behind me.
-我的極速是304km/h -哦 我去! 你開不了那麼快 - I did 190. - Oh, for God's sake! You didn't.
這比你車的極速要快 That's faster than your car will go.
為了結束這場嗶嗶 In order to put a stop to this nonsense,
我讓大家在下一個服務區停了下來 I made us pull in at the next service station.
好的 小相機 Right, small cameras.
我們把這個對著儀表盤 這樣就能看見儀表盤了 We fix these to the dash where they can see the speedo,
所以就不會有作弊了 and then there's no cheating.
為什麼你牽了祇狗 Why have you got a dog?
我會告訴你們的 跟我來 I shall show you. Follow me.
如果你想要一隻寵物 If you want a pet,
你可以買一些貴的 you can have something expensive,
比如帶著銀項鏈的鬣鱗蜥 like an iguana with a silver necklace.
或者你也可以買一些便宜的 比如螞蟻 Or you can have something cheap, like an ant.
-什麼螞蟻? -那個螞蟻 - What ant? - That ant.
或者靠你的常識 買一隻拉布拉多 Or you can use your common sense and have a labradog.
在我機智的講解結束之後 With my clever demonstration over,
我們重回高速 we got back on the motorway
還裝上了哈蒙德的誠實相機 and mounted Hammond's honesty cameras.
但我還有個作弊的好辦法 I've got a good way of cheating still.
因為如果我按下這個按鈕 看好了 Because if I push this button here, watch,
我的速度就會變到公里每小時 my speedometer changes to kilometres an hour.
他永遠不會知道 He'll never know.
傑裡米 你裝上相機的時候 And Jeremy, while you're setting your camera up,
別想著把你的顯示調到km/h don't think about changing your display to km/h
所以你的數字就會更大了 so you get a bigger number.
驗證極速的時刻到了 It was now time to begin the speed trials.
走起 來乾票大的 Here we go. Going for a big one.
進入到一個速度和榮耀的世界 Into a world of speed and glory!
加油 奧迪 你一定要懂我啊 Come on, Audi. You must be able to see me.
加油 Come on, come on, come on.
讓開啊 你在一輛奧迪裡 加油 Out of the way. And you in the Audi. Come on.
隨著交通順暢起來 As the traffic eased,
哈蒙德叩開了240km/h的大門 Hammond was knocking on the door of 150 miles an hour.
那是237km/h了 That's 148.
238km/h Forty-nine.
而我 也開始慢慢逼近 And I, too, was getting close.
240km/h快到了了 現在任何時候都可能到240km/h 150 coming up. 150 any minute now.
加油 抓住它 Come on, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it.
不幸的是 我們很難知道船長跑了多快 Sadly, it was hard to say how fast James was going,
因為他是個智障 because he's an imbecile.
哦耶 那個大數字來了 Oh, yeah! That big number's coming up.
達成挑戰242km/h Got to beat 151.
靠! Shit!
為什麼它就快不過那個速度了? Why won't it go any faster than that?
加油啊! Come on!
為啥你快不過237km/h? Why won't you go any faster than 148?
最終 繁忙的路面終結了這場重要的比賽 Eventually, heavy traffic ended this important test.
好吧 鑒於我們身陷堵車之中 Right, as we are in a traffic jam,
我也該告訴你們誰贏了 I may as well give you the results of Who Dares Wins.
理查德 哈蒙德 250km/h Richard Hammond, 155 miles an hour.
我的攬勝最高238km/h I maxed the Range Rover at 149.
而船長 由於他是個嘮叨的白痴 And James May, because he's a blithering idiot,
6000轉 6,000rpm.
白痴的車還燒光了油 The idiot's car had also drained its tank,
所以當他加油的時候 so while he was filling up,
我開始了另一場機智的證明 I set up another of my clever demonstrations.
先生們 顯而易見 Gentlemen, observe.
你可以買非常貴的太陽鏡 You can buy very expensive sunglasses.
這種是用純金做的 These ones are made from real gold.
或者你還可以買非常便宜的太陽鏡 Or you can buy very cheap sunglasses.
但是應該怎麼做呢 But what do we all do?
我們都買雷朋 We all have Ray-Bans.
你知道你這樣讓人很不爽嗎 You do know you're just being irritating, don't you?
一談到你的車 你祇會扯到 內褲 All you've actually told us about your car is something to do with underpants,
鬣鱗蜥和太陽鏡 iguanas and sunglasses.
-我祇是就事論事 -才不是! - I'm just saying. - Well, don't!
回到路上 我們繼續跟著詹姆斯 Back on the move, we continued to follow James
踏上去紐伯格林的旅途 on our journey to the Nürburgring.
但是過了一會兒 我開始有點擔心 But after a while, I started to worry.
他在往哪走? Where's he going?
為什麼我們從高速上下來了? Why have we turned off the motorway?
您已到達目的地 Sie haben das Ziel erreicht
-詹姆斯... -怎麼了? - James... - What?
嗯 我就直說了吧 Well, I'm going to get straight to the point.
這不是紐伯格林 This is not the Nürburgring.
這是紐倫堡 It's Nuremberg.
-呃 好吧 是的 但是 -沒有"呃 好吧"的話 - Ah, well, yes, but-- - There's no "Ah, well" about it.
是這樣 我實際上不會說德語 The thing is, I can't actually speak German,
祇會說近朱者赤近墨者黑之類的話 only the bit about hands being wet because he's under a waterfall.
但是紐伯格林的英語德語發音是一樣的 But Nürburgring is the same in English as it is in German.
注釋：其實不太一樣
我在我車裡用德語和語音控制交流 I did it with voice control in German with my car.
設置到德國後 我說紐伯格林 它閃了一下 It was set to German. I said Nürburgring and it went "blink"
-然後我說了"是的" 但是這個名字很相似 -別再責備車了! - and I said, "Yes." But it's a similar name. - Don't blame the car!
好吧 是我沒有準確發音 Well, I didn't pronounce it properly.
你這解釋就好像因為我倆名字都是"J"開頭所以就容易搞混了 That's like muddling up our names cos they both begin with J.
好了 我們別接著吵了 Look, let's not get all bogged down
就因為一個大傻X with who's been a massive idiot
而且他說的話起不到任何正面作用 and despite what he claims can't do anything properly.
-沒用 -我們可以找個附近的賽道代替一下 - Nothing. - Let's instead look for a race track near here.
為啥不去試著找一個呢? Why don't we try and find one?
而這就是哈蒙德找到的賽道 And that is exactly what Hammond did.
在哪? Where?
嗯 它就在你們周圍 看 我已經標出來了 Well, it's all around you. Look, I've marked it out.
看 它繞著那 從那上去 沿著那邊走 Look, it goes around there and up there and along there,
然後從那裡下去 從那再繞回來 and then down there and round there.
這實際上不是個賽道 不是麼 It's not really a track, is it?
不 它更好 這是場拉力賽 No, it's better. It's rallying.
這是有史以來第一場紐倫堡拉力賽 This will be the first ever Nuremberg Rally.
呃 不是 確實是第一場麼 Well, not the... absolute first ever.
他說的對 He's right.
你們想過沒 如果我們在這賽車 Do you imagine, if we did motorcycling round here,
這將會是史上第一次紐倫堡審判 it would be the first ever Nuremberg Trials?
我們可以試一下 Well, we could give it a go.
學會走路之前別跑 Let's not run before we can walk, eh?
由於哈蒙德的路線上布滿了扭曲的彎道 Since Hammond's course featured twisting bends,
鬆散的路面 loose surfaces,
峭壁 還有成堆的巨石 sheer drops and piles of enormous rocks everywhere,
所以練習圈就很必要了 some practice laps were in order.
這裡要慢因為這塊塵土飛揚 Slightly slow there cos I go round a dusty one,
然後這裡是...我也不知道 and then this is... I have no idea.
"危險" 好吧 我會記住的 "Danger." Right. I'll take note of that.
我可不想從這摔下去 I don't want to fall off there.
我去 我真不想從這摔下去 Oh, shit. I really don't want to fall off there.
現在 這塊真是很嚇人 Now, this bit is really scary.
耶 Yeah.
這有點嚇尿了的節奏 That's a bit of a trouser-changer.
這可真是有趣啊 Ooh! Now, this is quite interesting,
因為在正常情況下 cos in normal use,
這台捷豹所有的動力都被輸送到後輪 all of the power is sent to the rear wheels in the Jag.
但是它能把最多50%的動力 But it can then send power,
輸送到前輪 up to 50% of it, to the front wheels.
好吧 在這裡我稍有疏忽就會釀成大錯 Right, this is where I can go very wrong if I'm not careful.
臥槽 Oh, shit.
與此同時 大猩猩決定他不需要練習 Clarkson, meanwhile, had decided he didn't need to have a practice.
你在幹什麼? What are you doing?
這是等哈蒙德回來之後的豆子演示 It's my baked beans demonstration for when Hammond gets back.
因為超市有便宜豆子 Because we've got cheap supermarket beans,
還有貴的... then expensive...
哦天 我可沒工夫搞這個 Oh, God. I haven't got time for this.
然後 中間是攬勝... And then, in the middle, the Range Rover...
哦! Oh!
隨著練習結束 With practice over,
哈蒙德準備開始跑計時圈 Hammond lined up on the beginning line for his timed lap.
理查德·哈蒙德 準備出發 三 二 一 Richard Hammond, begin in three, two, one.
走！ Go!
走起 Here we go.
加油啊 哈蒙德 集中注意力 Now, come on, Hammond. Concentrate.
哦! 漂亮的飛躍漂移 Oh! That was beautiful lift-off oversteer.
稍帶剎車 然後... A little bit of a brake, and then...
哦! 這裡太快了 Ooh! That's too fast there.
我有點嚇尿了 I just had a wee.
好 我們預測一下他會說啥 Right, let's predict what he's saying in there.
他會說牽引力控制系統不能真正關閉 He'll say the traction control won't be turned off properly.
因為牽引力控制沒法完全關閉 Cos you can't turn the traction control off completely.
他會說 "我需要動力但是不夠" He'll say, "I need power and there isn't any!"
加油啊 動力都去哪了 Come on! Where's the power?
給我動力啊 Give me power! Give me power!
現在 這個... 臥槽 Now, this one... Oh, shit.
這確實有點快了 This is the really fast bit.
加油啊 寶貝! 加油 這就對了 給我動力 Come on, baby! Come on. That's it. Give me power.
高速進入直道 Going in with big speed here.
現在 提前剎車 Now, brake early, early, early, early, early,
然後轉進去 and then turn in.
搞定 Bury it.
我會快他十萬八千里 I'm gonna be miles faster than him.
好吧 可你都沒有練習過 Well, you haven't even done any practice.
-我知道 -說實話沒那麼容易 - I know. - It's honestly not that simple.
沒錯 是這樣 Yes, it is.
加油啊! Come on!
盡她所能 就是這樣 走起 Giving it all she can. That's it, there you go.
小小地爆發 然後衝線 Little burst and across the line.
5分56秒整 Five minutes 56 dead.
-很好嗎 -我不知道 - That good? - I don't know.
-5分56 -整 - Five 56. - Dead.
好 或者 不 你們看到最後一段路了嗎 Yes! Or no! Did you see me at that last bit?
牽引力控制讓我無法釋放所有馬力 The traction control just wouldn't let me put the power down there at all.
還停下了 你們看見我停下了嗎 It stopped! Did you see me stop there?
-你為啥拿了個秒表？-給他計時 - Why have you got a stopwatch? - To time him.
不不 看 No, no, no, no. Look.
-今天幾號 4月26號 -好的 知道了 - What date is it? April 26th. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, OK.
-4月26號... -不 一個更好的主意 - April 26th at... - No, a better idea.
我們為什麼不每天在這頂上計日子呢 Why don't we just chalk marks on the roof for every day?
-每次太陽升起來的時候 記一個 -好 - Every time the sun comes up, OK, another mark. - Right.
詹姆斯 梅 你可以出發了 James May, you may begin
三 二 一 in three, two, one.
出發 Now.
船長為了英國和德國駕駛賓利出發了! And May is off for Great Britain and Germany in the Bentley!
-他不喜歡高 -不 他不喜歡高 - He doesn't like heights. - No, he doesn't like heights.
-他不喜歡速度 -或者滑滑的東西 - He doesn't like speed. - Or slippery stuff.
所以...所有他討厭的東西 So... everything he hates.
儘管環境險惡 Despite the hostile environment,
我決心掘地三尺 I was determined to dig deep
來彰顯賓利的榮耀 for the honour of the Bentley badge.
好滑 Slidey, slidey, slidey.
好的 碎石路面 Yes, Tarmac.
你... 你聽見了嗎? Did you... Did you hear that?
那是來自船長的響胎 That was tyre squeal from James May.
上坡 Up the ridge.
降一檔 Knock it down a cog.
哦 我天 Oh, my God.
天哪! Blimey!
這不是船長風格啊 不是麼? That wasn't very James May-ish, was it?
他這樣會把自己嚇死的 He'll have frightened himself to death.
剛那段有點瘋狂 That's the dippy bit.
看看這個 Look at this!
哦 他騰空了 他居然騰空了 Oh! He got air! He got air!
我覺得他是一心想贏啊 I think he's being committed.
傑裡米 如果他贏我了怎麼辦 Jeremy, what if he beats me?
-要是他比你快 -是啊 - What if he beats you? - Yeah.
-你會蒙羞致死 我將狂笑不止 -嗯 好吧 - You'll die of shame and I'll die laughing. - Yeah, OK.
即便他如此努力 這老婦人在彎道還是丟了時間 Try as he might, though, the old lady was losing time in the corners.
問題是 這車有兩噸半重 還很長 The trouble is, it is a two-and-a-half-tonne fairly long car,
你沒法改變物理定律 and you can't change the laws of physics.
天哪 這可不妙 Cor! That's not good.
哦 把它擺正 加油啊 Oh, get it straight! Come on!
哦 不 我過頭了 Oh, no! I overdid it.
6分16秒 Six minutes 16.
所以 他慢16 So he was 16...
18秒 但是他的車賣一百八十多萬 18 seconds slower than you and his car is £212,000.
多吐槽些 寫下來 Say some more of that stuff. Write it down.
終於輪到這裡最好的車了 Finally, it was the turn of the best car here.
3 2 1 Three, two, one.
開始 Begin!
他連一個練習圈都沒跑過 He hasn't... done a single practice lap.
我是說 一次都沒有 I mean, not one.
牽引力控制關閉 這就好多了 Traction control off. That's better.
看好了 And watch this!
切進彎 很好地完成 Flick it in. Nicely done.
再往另外一邊切出去 Flick it back the other way.
他開車的時候會是什麼狀態 謙遜 While he's driving, what do we think he's being? Modest?
謙卑 安靜 Self-effacing? Quiet?
他可能什麼都不說 他應該在專注中 He probably isn't saying anything. He's probably concentrating.
好棒 Yes!
哦 天啊 我樣樣都行 Oh, God, I'm good at everything.
然而 為了贏得這場比賽 However, in order to win this contest,
我並不打算祇靠我高超的駕駛技巧 I had no intention of relying only on my supreme skills.
事情是這樣 捷豹和賓利都是公路車 You see, the thing is, the Jaguar and the Bentley were designed as road cars
再給他們一點越野能力 and then given some off-road ability.
然而攬勝從設計伊始就是一台越野車 Whereas the Range Rover was designed as an off-road car,
後來又增強了它的路面性能 and then given some ability to work on the road.
這祇是細微的區別 It's only a subtle difference,
但這意味著我不用按照常規 but it means I don't have to follow the beaten track.
我能抄個近道 I can take shortcuts.
這車非常聰明 It's such a clever car, it really is.
它能感知到它正在駛過的地形 This car senses what sort of terrain it's driving over,
以此來決定差速鎖是鎖止還是打開 and then engages or disengages the differentials accordingly.
開賓利或者捷豹可來不了這裡 You could not come up here in the Bentley or the Jaguar.
-好安靜啊 我聽不到 -他此刻在幹嘛 - It's quiet. I can't hear it. - What's he in at the moment?
一條褲子 幾罐豆子 拉布拉多 A pair of pants? Tin of beans? Labrador?
還會有更蠢的 There'll be another stupid...
你的這些都是大路貨 我的才是最好的 "You get ordinary ones and mine's just the best."
攬勝的涉水深度 The Range Rover can wade through water
將近一米深 nearly a metre deep.
看看啊 And look at it!
多好的一輛車啊 What a machine you are!
現在 我就要速速竄上山了 Now we just pump back up the hill.
馬力 Power!
馬力啊 Power now!
-他在那裡 -哎 - There he is. - Hey?
-不對 等等 -是的 你看 他在那裡 - No, hang on a minute. - No, he's there, look.
-是啊 但是 -咋了 - No, but... - What?
衝線 And across the line.
他幾乎比你快兩分鐘 He's almost two minutes quicker than you were.
這不可能 That's not possible.
-你是怎麼做到的 -啥玩意兒 - How did you do that? - What?
-這個 -你的車全濕了 本不該如此 - That. - A, your car's all wet, which it shouldn't be.
此外你幾乎比哈蒙德快了兩分鐘 And you're almost two minutes faster than Hammond.
是的 但是 你看 事情是這樣的 Yes, but, you see, the thing is,
你能買一台便宜的車 比如說捷豹 you can buy a cheap car, like a Jaguar,
或者你能買一台貴的車 or you can buy an expensive car,
就像賓 like a Bent--
作弊 作弊 他就是在作弊 Cheat! Cheat! He just cheated.
浪費時間 這整部片子 A total waste of time, that whole film.
完全浪費時間 攬勝 快了兩分鐘 A total waste of time. Range Rover, two minutes faster.
一句話 你作弊了 You cheated, simple as that.
那啥 你看 如果我們把這個爭論先放一放 Anyway, look, if we can just put the bickering aside for one moment,
我不得不說 這個小捷豹 I have to say, that little Jag was,
真的很棒 它的設計師 and it really was, brilliant. And it was designed
是一個本地的小夥子 叫Ian Callum 生於鄧弗里斯 by a local boy, Ian Callum, born in Dumfries.
除此之外 他也設計了阿斯頓馬丁DB7 He didn't just do that. He also styled the Aston Martin DB7,
DB9 Vanquish 和 福特Puma the DB9, the Vanquish, the Ford Puma,
還有 考斯沃斯版本的Escort the Escort Cosworth.
-於是 他是不列顛人 -基本上是的 - Yeah, he's British. - Basically, yeah.
好吧 幾乎如此 Well, pretty much.
確實 確實 He is. He is.
但是 不幸的是 他的新車沒有攬勝好 Anyway, sadly, his new car isn't as good as a Range Rover.
別和我爭 它不行 Don't argue. It isn't.
帶著對他徹徹底底的失望 是時候結束了 And on that terrible disappointment for him, it's time to end.
感謝收看 Thank you so much for watching.
感謝你們的到來 Thank you all so much for coming.
我們下次再會 再見 We'll see you next time. Goodbye.