I did not hit her it's not true it's
bullshit I did not hit her
I did not oh hi mark
how do you spell anything
[Music]
welcome to my Stephen King series
Stephen King movies are coming out ones
it's one of them's the dark towers we
got a good one today to talk about holy
fuck if you can't tell I just watched
sleepwalkers and I am somehow drunk
despite not having drank any alcohol I
wanted to start my Stephen King series
with a hilarious 'ti because despite the
fact that the man is my favorite author
and a lot of his books had been adapted
into great films a lot of films based
off of his work or in this case a
screenplay that he wrote are not too
great some of them really give me
infectious diseases so I sat down and
watched a few Stephen King films I had
never seen that were notoriously bad
including the Mangler and the film the
king himself directed Maximum Overdrive
but it wasn't until I watched
sleepwalkers that I chose my next
hilarious 'ti this film has everything
that I want in a hilarious 'ti an absurd
plot insanely over-the-top horrendous
moments of gore like 27 cameos from
famous celebrities and tons and tons of
murdered cats yeah if you're a major cat
lover that can't watch cats die on
screen in the movie even if it's fake
don't watch this film it's going to fuck
you up hardcore this movie opens with
two cops investigating a murder there's
a whole bunch of cats strung up
everywhere and oh my god that's Mark
Hamill nice Mark Hamill is going to be
in this movie that's cool that makes me
actually kind of excited I really like
Mark Hamill you know he's like oh he's
not really in the movie at all it's just
at one scene that's just the first of
like five or six random celebrity cameos
this movie never tries to explain
nevertheless they find a body of a dead
girl but she has braces on her teeth
indicating that she's probably very
young my favorite part of this scene is
when the decayed emaciated dead skeleton
pops out of the closet it screams
[Music]
because we all know that dead bodies
scream when they fall out of closets so
after an overly long opening credits
scene in which it is confirmed that
Stephen King himself wrote this
screenplay we're introduced to a lovely
young couple and they look so sweet
together what a great romance I'm happy
for these two people
I hope they live a long and prosperous
life together and have children oh my
god
mother's son incest within like the
first ten minutes is just the tip of the
iceberg with sleepwalkers so our main
character in this film is named Charles
Brady played by the actor Brian Krause
and he is really crushing on Tanya a
girl in his class in fact he's crushing
so hard on her that he carves a tee into
his arm early on his bookie so that
happened but it seems very clear that
him and his mother wants Tanya for
something she desperately needs him to
get whatever tanya has to sustain his
mother's life that's made clear fairly
early in the movie what is it made clear
really ever in the film unless I missed
it is why so many cats are surrounding
their house and why they are so deathly
afraid of cats they have traps set up to
kill these cats and there's like 50 of
them just hanging out all the time right
outside and they're terrified of the
cats to my knowledge is no fucking
explanation for any of that bullshit but
it's in the fucking movie so fuck it
we're introduced to his very aggressive
teacher who plays a very important role
later in a scene that just propels the
movies batshit 'no sivan more but he
works up the courage to ask Tanya out on
a date and later when they're at Tanya's
house he discovers her mom has an
interest in Grave rubbings his reaction
to this is hilarious to me an undead
Greystone rebels
pretty more than her I like him you do
yeah
also fun fact Tonya's parents are played
by the exact same actors who played the
parents in Ferris Bueller's Day Off for
the first act of this movie
despite the incest and the cat bodies
and all the weird looks and strange
moments it's kind of a normal teen
horror movie except for the incest stuff
it sets up like what you would expect
with a movie like this right around here
it just gets amazing and I honestly put
this movie with like The Wicker Man and
troll 2 I mean it's it's really fucking
bad but really fucking entertaining
starting right about now the overly
aggressive teacher pulls over Charles
while he's driving and tries to molest
him and my favorite line and moment in
the entire movie happens in this scene
mine is many bad well money is not the
only medium of exchange
arriving people really should learn to
keep their hands to themselves here's
your's
[Music]
that is actually really fucking
hilarious
like that's actually really funny keep
your hands to yourselves here's your's
that's kind of what I need and from here
on out this movie is amazing so pretty
soon the best movie police officer I
have ever seen
starts following Charles because he's
speeding entering this scene you can
actually see a squirrel that thinks
about crossing the roads like nope never
mind fuck that shit
this cop has a cat named Clovis that he
always has with him and he likes to sing
really strange songs while he's on duty
hey close it globe is what's up you
catching a nap is their guns dunny with
this pecker in event he's a one-ball man
and he's off to the road yeah well I'm
in live now the man dragged them on you
fucking Turkey get your right foot right
get off the stage fucking jerk you new
piss me off
but during the car chase Charles makes
an aggressive turn to get out of there
and the cop is suddenly facing down a
semi and his reaction is pretty much the
best thing I've ever seen now when
they're driving side-by-side and the cop
is trying to pull them over
Charles notices Clovis the cat staring
back at him and becomes horrified and
this happens
[Music]
what's up cut again the cops reactions
are the best thing in this movie and
yeah we're going to get some interesting
special effects as well and makeup I'm
telling you this movie has it all this
movie's gold it has it all it really
does get this movie it is actually on
blu-ray surprisingly get it get some
friends together if you're drinking if
you're into that kind of thing go ahead
take a shot every time something insane
happens you'll get hammered in five
minutes
so I guess after that car chase Charles
was feeling kind of horny because he
goes home and has sex with his mom I
really needed to see that and oh my god
if you look in the mirror there's their
real forms that makes it a lot less
creepy
so Charles gets Tonya to go with him to
a graveyard because her mom is very
interested in grave rubbings and he was
able to convince her mother that he also
has an interest in grave rubbings so
before they leave he says this that's
Benedictine shining away right off your
mother's going to want to know some
rubbing went on out here me too Charles
like I said from the very beginning
every passing scene this will be gets
more nuts than the last one and finally
Charles decides to show himself to Tanja
they're making out and it becomes clear
that he wants to like suck her life
force or her essence out of her she's
terrified they start fighting in the
graveyard the cop shows up the same cop
from earlier with the cat Clovis the
best cop ever
and before Heath Ledger ever shoved a
pencil through anybody's eye Charles
from sleepwalkers did and said this
everything's gonna be all this
cop kebab
that's the best thing I've ever fucking
seen in my life
cop kebab oh shit
looks even funnier is that throughout
the sequence the cops for some reason is
still alive he has a pencil like
straight up in his brain and he's still
moving whatever he finally dies in a
very hilarious way now we get yet
another cameo scene from the great
Stephen King himself as well as Clive
Barker I'll take it I guess I mean it's
entertaining just I kind of wanted told
why who cares
I guess who fucking cares just watch it
it's not gonna watch it so as the cops
begin to become aware of the fact that
this family has something we're going on
they investigate the kids house and
suddenly were greeted with a cinematic
presence of Ron Perlman this movie is
perfect look all you got is one to stare
at the little girl with a very vivid
imagination what about the cats
what about Amira Bissonnette little girl
needs a good smack on the butt and if my
mom and daddy won't do it I'll happily
volunteer but the mom shows up and foils
everything maybe it was the wind
it was not the fucking wind all right
that was not fucking winning the
violence in this movie is just hilarious
I don't know if they were trying for
like honestly if this was actually
supposed to be a comedy okay well they
succeeded but if they weren't like the
dad falling into a table everything just
looks funny it looks like slapstick even
this guy trying to shoot the gun is
hilarious so if all the cameos we
already saw weren't enough in the very
next scene we have the director John
Landis
and the director Joe Dante in his scene
what's happening I love this movie I
love it this movie is so bad I fucking
love it and again the very angry mother
shows up and stab someone with a corn
cob can you start someone with a corn
cob pretty the most like blunt flat ass
stab wound ever
and then she bites off Ron Perlman's
fingers and breaks his arm by forcing
him to elbow himself in the forehead she
also seems to possess that fantastical
gun that killed JFK because she's got
some magic bullets oh and some dudes on
fire this movie also has the distinction
of featuring an instant cat death
oh my god that cat got fucked
damn and like I said what I don't get is
the cats if the cats hate these people
and why are they crowded around them and
if they hate cats
why are the cats there like I don't if
they both hate each other why are they
all there I don't get it
also the sleepwalker Powers make no
sense they can change their way their
cars look by making them invisible then
morphing them into some other model they
can also make themself invisible if they
think hard enough I don't get it
like what are they some weird form of
vampire I guess I don't know it's
fucking weird
now she's dancing with this strange
shape-shifter thing that looks like a
swollen deformed dick this could not get
crazier this is the Mount Everest of
crazy there is no way it could get any
crazier than this it's going nowhere
else more insane than this yes now
Charles now
[Music]
[Applause]
good see her dry I was incorrect said it
can so Charles has finally revealed his
true form so I guess like the weird
cat-like face wasn't his real form if
this is his real form what was the other
thing what were all those other forms
what the hell are these things when the
cop finally sees what this thing
actually is he throws down his shotgun
and leaves oh I'm sorry if I saw that
and was holding a shotgun I certainly
would not throw it away I mean that's
probably the last thing I do I feel like
bitch I'm going to shoot you in the
fucking head that's what I do this film
has been foreshadowing their fear of
cats we're constantly seeing cats all
the time and finally we get a big arc
for the cats because they all jump on
this thing and claw on it until it
fucking spontaneously combusts
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
this movie sleepwalkers not enough
people talk about this movie this is
like next-level hilariously awesome and
bad sleepwalkers you've never seen it
it's kind of worth it if you go in with
the right mindset like if you're looking
for quality just know but if you want to
watch some entertaining shit this will
be will do it for you guys thank you for
watching my first review in my Stephen
King series look forward to some reviews
of some actually very good Stephen King
movies coming very soon you guys are the
best and as always if you liked this you
can click right here and get stuck my
nice
[Music]