Jade: But, Jackie,
I can't take first prize at the talent show
if I don't have a talent.
Jade, you have a fine talent...
For getting into trouble.
Har har.
How about music?
(Plays recorder off-key)
Ugh!
Drill team?
Oof!
Archery?
Perhaps something less hazardous to my health...
(Gasps)
Like ventriloquism.
Huh?
Uncle's not going to like this.
Jade,
it's a monkey king!
A what?
Man: The monkey king...
A most revered character from ancient folklore.
Only $20.
Uh, I don't know,
he's kinda creepy-looking.
You're not so cute yourself!
Aah!
You know how to throw your voice?
Jackie as puppet: Jackie won a few talent shows
when he was your age.
You gotta teach me, Jackie!
No finer puppet with which to learn.
This hand-carved specimen
is the only one of its kind.
We will take it.
(Sinister laugh)
Uncle: You bought this
from my competition?!
Hey, it broke.
Because it is junk!
Kai ching steals my business
by selling cheap trinkets.
But Kai ching said it was one of a kind.
Ow! Ow!
And that is 2 of a kind to teach you
that bringing my competitor's goods into my shop
invites bad chi.
One more thing,
do you see any monkey kings in here? No?!
That is because the monkey king is known
for his love of mischief.
And he is creepy-looking.
Uncle, please.
It is only a puppet,
and Jade's talent show is tomorrow.
You will be sorry.
Come on, you!
Here, Jade.
Let me monkey with it.
Hmm.
An inscription...
"to free me of glitches and put you in stitches,
"this merry ape begs
pull my leg."
Go for it.
(Sinister laugh)
(All gasp)
I'm free!
Greetings, kiddies!
The monkey king is in the house!
Sorry, no autographs.
Nice sumo!
Is he house-trained?
Grrrr!
What have you done with...
(all gasp)
Jackie!
No! No, no, no!
(Mock crying)
What have you done with him, you dirty apes?
Apes? Oh. That would be me.
Ha ha ha. Oh, I'm just pulling your leg.
Jackie pulled mine, and that's why he's where he is today:
A proud graduate of...
Marionette u!
Congratulations, you little dummy, you.
Jackie is not a dummy!
Change him back!
Well, I could, I suppose,
but one of us would have to stay stuck in dollsville,
and I ain't never going back!
Besides, as the mandrake of mirth,
the madcap of monkeys...
Don't confuse me with that other monkey king, Kong...
I have a long list of pranks to pull!
Ta-ta.
Tohru, stop him!
Gladly, sensei.
Jackie, say something!
See what happens when you do not listen to uncle.
(Bell rings)
Monkey king: Special delivery!
Oh, please do not laugh.
We are dealing with a very sick mind.
Uncle, you have to do something!
I am not geppetto!
I do not bring puppets to life!
You're a genius!
Well, thank you.
The rat talisman brings motion to the motionless.
This oughta get Jackie back on his feet.
Well, it's a start.
Jackie: What? What is it?
Uh... Nothing!
Do not look in mirror.
Bwaaaaa!
I told you not to look in mirror!
He never listens.
I am a puppet!
A living puppet!
Not for long.
We're gonna find puff the magic monkey
and make him undo this hoodoo.
A row of ducks.
Always good for big yuks!
♪ Babalu ♪
How do you know the monkey king went this way?
Just following the breadcrumbs.
Whoa.
Did I do that?
(Ship's horn blares)
I'm king of the world!
Aah!
Glacier!
Don't touch the fur!
I'm royalty.
Give me back my body!
Aah! The puppet! It spoke!
Say.
How do you do that? I didn't get to talk when I was wood.
We'll see what we can do, your majesty,
if you switch places with Jackie.
So soon?
I hate to quit...
When I'm on a roll.
(Gasps) You've gotta be joking!
Joking is all he does.
Both: Bwaaaaaa!
Aahhhhh!
Come on!
(Groans)
Ha ha ha ha!
(Both panting)
(Both sigh)
Alley oop!
Whoaaaa!
Uhh!
(Gasp) (Gasp)
Both: Noooooo!
Ooh, instant replay!
Jade, wait here.
Whoa!
Knucklehead talks and rocks!
Go, Jackie.
Mayday! Mayday!
Bwaaaa!
Look out! Look out! Look out!
Whoa! Whoa!
(Pants)
Why have your doughnut dry
when you can dunk?!
Jackie?!
(Coughs)
(Laughs) Oh, that was rich!
A classic monkeyshine!
Ha ha ha!
All right, chimp,
you've had your fun.
There is nothing comical about endangering lives.
Ha ha ha ha...
There isn't?
You two aren't kidding, are you?
You want to stop the laughter,
and I just can't let that happen!
Ok, we tried reasoning with you.
No more Mr. nice guy.
Jackie, it's time to give happy boy a heapin' helpin'
of the ancient art of butt whoop!
If it's a punch-and-Judy show you want...
(Whistles)
Boys...
Cook his goose!
Wait! I have no quarrel with you!
Aah!
Tag team!
Whoa!
Huh?
Dance, little monkey, dance!
Jackie!
Ooh. That's got to hurt.
Only my pride.
Now, students,
what have we learned today?
You don't want to put the king of comedy in a bad humor!
Tohru: Hold still.
Let's hear it for detachable parts.
Jackie, do you wish some wax to restore your shine?
No, thank you!
I do not plan on being wooden much longer!
Isn't that right, uncle?
Patience, Jackie.
Huh?! At this rate,
I will be a puppet forever!
I do not want to collect dust
in your shop window, uncle!
Shouldn't we just ask Kai ching if he knows of a remedy?
What?!
Kai ching is the reason you are in this kettle of fish to begin with.
Well, that is exactly my point.
You want me to grovel to that snake oil salesman?!
Never! I have everything I need
to research an antidote for you right here,
thank you.
I say we see that chuckling chimp about an antidote!
We have had enough monkey business, Jade!
And you need to go to school.
But, Jackie,
this is way more important
than anything going on at schoo...
(gasps)
The talent show!
It's today! I have to win!
First prize is a trip to moose world, Florida!
What am I gonna do?
Oh, no.
No! No no no!
Um...
A horse walks into a doctor's office.
The doctor asks, "why the long face?"
(Audience laughs)
It's not bad enough those two want to drop the curtain on me.
Now they're stealing my thunder?
A brief pause in my pranks, then,
while I kibosh the competition!
(Whispering) Jade, I don't think this is competing fairly.
Zip the lips, Jackie!
You're gonna tank my act!
Stop the show!
(Gasps)
They're cheating!
The puppet is alive, I tell you!
It's alive!
(Audience gasps)
Help me out here, Jackie!
Just a dummy!
See?
Nothing up my sleeves!
Oh?
Maybe this will put a little spring in his step!
Aah! Hey!
Oh! Ow ow ow!
Heh heh heh! Why bother with ants in your pants
when you could have termites in your tights!
Jackie!
Ha ha!
If you want real talent, folks,
watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat!
Har har.
(Audience laughs)
You like me!
You really like me!
(Gasps) Here comes chuckie!
Ohhh. I have found no means
of reversing the curse, sensei.
Surely there is a volume we have overlooked!
Monkey... Monkey...
Monkey...
Perhaps we should visit Kai ching,
for Jackie's sake?
(Sighs)
All right.
We can't let him escape.
I will be stuck this way!
Don't fret yet, Jackie.
Trail's still warm!
A lumberyard?
Aah! This is no place for a man made of wood!
Whoa!
Jackie!
Ha ha!
And when you're sawdust,
we'll both be feeling chipper!
Ha ha ha ha!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
You wouldn't!
That's not funny!
Haven't you noticed?
I have a weird sense of humor!
Aah!
Oh! Detachable parts!
Unh!
Fancy footwork!
How much wood does a woodchuck Chuck?
Oh, my gosh! Look out!
Huh?
Can't believe. I fell for that old gag.
He keeps his shop open later just to spite me!
Hmmph!
What brings you here?
Nothing. Just browsing.
We wish to reverse the curse of the monkey king puppet.
Ah, yes.
This contains the answers you seek.
We will take it.
You will purchase it.
$200.
Aah!
You pirate!
This is no trinket.
It is very rare.
$10.
200.
20! My final offer!
Uh, here's 200.
Why did you pay retail, tohru?!
He was weakening!
Hmm. To reverse the curse,
the monkey king must pull the leg of its puppet victim.
That is all?! For $200?!
Do you want me to throw in a tea cozy?
Do you want me to throw in
a piece of uncle?!
No purchase necessary!
Sensei, please.
Dead end!
Up and over!
(Cell phone rings)
Uncle?
What? The monkey king has to pull my leg?
Timber!
Talk later!
Cowabunga!
Aah!
Whoa! Whoa!
Logrolling?!
Now they're stealing my lumberjack bit!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa... oomph! Whoa... oomph!
Ohhh.
We have to get the monkey king to pull your leg!
Unh! But how can we trick
the ultimate trickster?
Hey, Jackie?
How 'bout we rock his world?
You know, I won a few talent shows
when I was your age.
Stop me if you've heard this one before.
Hey!
Where is everyone?!
Jackie: Shh!
Here he comes!
Going up!
Third floor: Housewares, ladies' undergarments,
puppets!
Jackie: Don't let him see us!
Gotcha!
Hyah!
Whoa!
Unh!
What do you know?
He fell for it!
Uhh! Uhh!
Tough crowd.
I'll help you out of there if you promise
to stop stalking Jackie!
Oh, sure!
No problem! Got yourself a deal!
Unh!
Hang on!
I'll grab a stick or something!
Here!
Prepare to wear pretty concrete slippers, my dear!
Huh?!
Uncle said you had to pull the leg,
he didn't say Jackie had to be wearing it!
That's... Not...
Funny!
The Jack is back!
In the flesh!
And I hope to stay this way.
Knock on wood.
Hey, Jackie!
What's your favorite fruit?
I love fruit.
Every morning I get fresh fruit.
Pineapple,
papaya!
A lot of papaya!
Banana.
Very good for the stomach,
good for the digest... Uh, good everything.
Banana's good.
Did you ever see a fat monkey?