I want to know more about my pilot.
我想多了解一点我所坐飞机的机长
I think it's fucking crazy that we just fly with a nigga and we never see him.
真是很难相信 我们就这么坐在一个自己根本没见过的人开的飞机上
Like, when I get on the plane, I want to look that nigga in his eyes and be like,
等我上了飞机以后 我想看着机长的眼睛 说
"Did you sleep?"
你昨天睡好了没
"Everything good at home? How's your wife?
家里一切都好吧 老婆怎么样
You gamble, bro? Like, what's up with you?"
你平时好赌吗 老兄 你咋样啊
Good evening. Welcome aboard.
晚上好 欢迎登机
Thank you for choosing Right on Time Airlines.
感谢你们选择了正是时候航空
Please find your seat and step out of the aisle to make room for your neighbor behind you.
请您找到自己的座位坐下 让出走道 为您后方的乘客让出路来
Fasten those seat belts. We'll be taking off shortly.
系好安全带 我们马上就要起飞了
Hey...
嘿
you're a comedian, right?
你是个喜剧演员 对吧
Yeah, uh, my name is Michael--
对 呃 我的名字是Michael
Blackson. Right, I knew it.
Blackson 对 我就知道
Oh, I loved you on "Wild 'N Out," man, you hilarious mother sucker.
我特别喜欢你那场演出《Wild 'N Out》 你太好笑了
I'm surprised to see you here, though.
不过我没想到能在这见到你
Yeah, my auntie booked this flight for me.
是啊 这次机票是我一个阿姨给我订的
She said she used some kind of church coupon or-I don't know.
她说她用了什么教堂的优惠券什么的 我不清楚
This is the flight the "Lort" wanted you to be on.
这就是煮想让你坐上的那一架飞机
- The who? - The "Lort."
-谁 -煮
Good evening, saints.
晚上好 圣徒们
I'm your pilot, Pastor Julian,
我是今天的驾驶员 Pastor Julian
and I will be delivering the good word throughout the flight.
本次航班就由我来为你们传达主的话语
Go on, now.
快讲吧
Our flight time today is just around seven hours,
我们今天的航班全程大约七个小时
but we're asking Jesus to blow His mighty breath
但我们正在乞求耶稣降下他的神圣之息
and bring us in in just under three.
让我们三个小时之内就能到
Now, before we go any further,
在我们说下去之前
I'd like you to turn to your neighbor and say
我想让你们跟你的邻座面对面 然后说
"Jesus, take the wheel!"
上帝 你来开
Jesus, take the wheel!
上帝 你来开
Well, the pilot should take the wheel, right?
好吧 不过飞机应该由是机长来开 对吧
Jesus is the pilot, brother.
上帝就是机长 兄弟
If the cabin pressure changes,
如果舱内气压有扰动
just start talking in tongues-- a couple of "bashambalas"
就开始默念几遍 巴山不勒斯
and masks will drop down in front of you.
然后氧气面罩将会在您的面前落下
阿门
- Amen.
That's not safe.
这不太安全吧
What is going on with this flight?
这趟航班上的人都怎么了
Spirit is speaking to me...
圣灵正在与我沟通
- The Spirit? - Shh.
-圣灵 -嘘
And there may be turbulence along the way.
飞行途中可能会遇到一些颠簸
We know that ain't nothing but the devil.
不过我们都知道那不过是魔鬼在作怪
So, in the event of any ruckus,
所以 如遇任何的扰动
please take your tambourines, located under your seats...
请拿起位于你们座椅下方的铃鼓
And we will shake his tail right on back to hell...
然后让我们把他摇回地狱去
Ain't no tambourines under-
座位底下才没有什么
Oh, no.
不是吧
Where he belongs.
他就该在那好好待着
I think I'm on the wrong flight.
我觉得我好像上错飞机了
Ma'am, excuse me, can you open that door, please?
女士 请问一下 你能开一下门吗
Today's meal choices will be macaroni and cheese, collard greens, candied yams, and okra
今天的菜单包括芝士通心粉 羽衣甘蓝 拔丝地瓜和秋葵
with a choice of fried fish or a smothered pork chop...
您也可以选择炸鱼或闷猪排
Served with a half lemonade, half sweet tea, half Sprite.
配上今天的饮料 一半柠檬水 一半甜茶 一半雪碧
I guess I can stay for-- it's only three to seven hours, yeah.
我觉得我还是能坚持一下的 毕竟也就飞那么三到七个小时
Our in-flight entertainment will be Tyler Perry's "Madea Gets Curncer."
我们的机上娱乐节目是Tyler Perry主演的《Madea得唉证》
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me hear you say ♪
♪ Your folks, my folks ♪
♪ My folks, your folks ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Ha! ♪
I know how successful I'm becoming by the favors that are being asked of me.
我判断自己有多出名的方式就是看别人请我办的事是多大的事
You know what I mean?
你懂我意思吗
Like, I remember when people would come up to me with tears in their eyes like,
我记得之前会有人眼含热泪地走到我面前 对我说
"Man, I just need $50."
“兄弟 我真的需要50块钱”
And now niggas come with them same tears like,
而现在他们还是那样饱含热泪地走过来 跟我说
"Man, I just really want this Sprinter Van."
“兄弟 我真的很想要这辆奔驰商务车”
Like... what happened to $50, nigga? Damn.
五十块已经满足不了你了吗 兄弟 真是的
When did your problems get so grand?
你的问题什么时候变这么宏大了
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Walker! How y'all doing?
Walker先生和太太 你们好 最近怎么样
Young man, you're looking sharp today.
年轻人 今天看着很精神啊
Thank you. I'm trying to get like you.
谢谢你们 我正琢磨着怎么变成你们这样呢
Oh! I'm trying to be like you!
我正琢磨着怎么变成你这样呢
Oh, I know you are.
我就知道
Broke-ass nig-- Hey, what up, Oz?
穷鬼 嘿 怎么样啊 Oz
- You hurtin' it, bro. - Hey, I know, right?
-不错嘛 -就是这样 对吧
Hey, stay out of school. Don't be a hashtag.
嘿 别去学校了 小心上头条
Daddy, who is that?
爸爸 那是谁啊
That's the man.
他就是真汉子
That butter ain't got nothing on that kettle, man.
他们做爆米花的时候一点黄油都不放啊
Bro, you never heard of Skinny Pop?
你没听说过Skinny Pop[美国一无乳爆米花品牌]吗
Skinny Pop Kettle Corn. You crazy.
Skinny Pop爆米花啊 真的假的
Wait, hold on. Oh, shit, that's Kev.
等下 等下 干 那是凯子
- Yo, Kev, that's you? - Hey, man.
-哟 凯子 是你吗 -嘿 兄弟
Oh, shit, nigga, I ain't recognized you with all that drip, okay.
妈呀 兄弟你穿成这样我都认不出来了
Blah, you see it, right?
老哥 你看见没
What? You won the lotto or something?
咋了 你中彩票了还是怎么的
Hey, man, just keep praying, wash your face.
兄弟 不停祈祷 洗把脸
- That's all you got to do, huh? - Dead ass?
-就这样就行 -真的假的
Hey, that's what I do. I got to go. Got to go home and wash my jet.
我就是这么办的 我得走了 得回家洗我的豪车了
Hold up. Hey, yo, Kevin.
等下 Kevin
You sucked that genie's dick.
你吸了那个神灯精灵的X
What the fuck you say to me?
你他妈说什么
I said you sucked that genie's dick in exchange for seven wishes.
我说你为了七个愿望吸了那个神灯精灵的X
No--no, I didn't!
不 不 我没有
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What genie, bro?
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 什么精灵 老兄
The genie down by the park that says he give you whatever you want.
停车场那边那个精灵 他说可以给你一切想要的东西
All he want is his dick sucked.
他就想有人吸他的X
- You did that shit, bro? - He lying.
-你真这么干了 兄弟 -他说的不是真的
Why your tongue blue?
那为什么你的舌头蓝了
Uh, lollipop. I can't have a treat, huh?
呃 吃棒棒糖吃的 我不能吃点零嘴吗
Right, right, so where the diamond AirPods come from?
是啊 是啊 那你这个带钻的耳机哪来的
And how you get a jet?
还有 你哪来的豪车
Uh, I invested in crypto. GameStop, you remember that?
我投资了加密货币和GameStop 你俩不记得了吗
Where was y'all at? Basic.
而你们在干啥呢 贱民
- I've been looking for you. - Hey, baby, how are you?
-我找你找好久了 -嘿 宝贝 你怎么样
Come on, baby. Bezos is waiting.
快点 宝贝 Bezos[Jeff Bezos 亚马逊创始人]还等着呢
Mm-hmm, niggas out here hating.
嗯哼 他们几个在这羡慕嫉妒恨呢
When the fuck did Kevin start pulling bitches?
什么时候起Kevin也能把到妹了
Watch your mouth in front of my lady.
在我女人面前怎么说话呢
Y'all dating?
你俩真的谈着呢
Yeah, we fell in love about 45 minutes ago.
对啊 我们俩在差不多45分钟之前坠入了爱河
You sucked that genie's dick, fam.
你吸了那个灯神的X 家人
No, I didn't.
我没有
All right, so why your backpack made of beef jerky?
行 那为什么你的背包是牛肉干做的
SkyMall.
我从超市买的
How you get real dinosaur feet, though?
那你这些恐龙脚是怎么来的
I've always had these, bro.
我一直就长这样 兄弟
You don't be paying attention to me.
你一直没注意而已
And explain your personal croissant chef.
那解释一下你为什么有个可颂私厨
Gentrification.
社区绅士化了
Well, why you always surrounded by, like, butterflies and shit?
好吧 那为什么你身边一直环绕着蝴蝶什么的
I'm whimsy, bro.
我就是这么奇妙
What the helicopter going on out here?
到底怎么回事
We think Kevin sucked that genie's dick.
我们觉得Kevin给那个灯神口了
Oh, now, that would explain why his mom is alive again.
哦 难怪他妈妈死而复生了
Hey, look, blessings, it's all blessings.
嘿 听着 这都是赐福
Uh, John 3:16.
约翰福音第3章第16节
"Whatever you do in the dark comes to light"
你在暗中所做的事 终会被揭露在光明之下
- Yeah, right, man. - You sucked that genie's dick.
-是啊兄弟 -你给那个灯神吸X了
Dick sucker.
吸X哥
Come on, baby, let's go.
走吧 宝贝 我们走
Genie!
灯神
There he is.
他来了
He be in the sewer and the pipes and all that.
他一直待在下水道里
Kill all these motherfuckers!
把这几个贱人都杀了
Your wish is my command.
您之所愿就是命令
But you know what I'ma need from you in return, right?
但是你知道自己要付出什么 对吧
Exactly.
没错
My dad didn't live with us.
我爸爸没跟我们一起生活
I didn't know where he lived, but I knew he had a van.
我不知道他住哪 但是我知道他有一辆面包车
面包车
Yeah, 'cause he did, like, construction, odd jobs.
对 因为他是干建筑还是什么的 怪工作
Back in those days, old Black men had a van
从前的时候 有辆面包车的黑人老头
and in that van was tools and Motown tapes.
他的车里装的是工具和摩城唱片
But he was, like, a man's man.
但他是那种很有男人味的人
Now we don't have men like that.
我们现在没有那样的男人了
When my dad was my age, he wasn't wearing this.
我爸在我这么大的时候 他可不这么穿
He had a lot of keys and a big-ass mustache.
他有一大串钥匙 留着一大把小胡子
We're afraid to grow--
我们害怕
I think this is the one generation that's, like, never gonna grow up.
我觉得我们这一代人永远也长不大的一代
I'm gonna be 75 years old dressed like this.
我以后75岁了估计还这么穿
You know how sad that is-
你知道这有多可悲吗
to see a 75-year-old man in skateboarding sneakers and a baseball cap like a little boy?
一个75岁的老头还穿着板鞋 带着棒球帽 打扮得跟个小男孩一样
Like...
就像
2001年 小学科技展 第二名
First prize-I am so proud of you, son.
一等奖 我真为你感到骄傲 孩子
You are the smartest kid in the whole world.
你就是全世界最聪明的小孩
Don't be a weak-ass bitch, Kenny.
别这么哭哭啼啼的 Kenny
You don't need a dad.
你不需要爸爸
You just have to work a little harder, and then you'll be the smartest kid.
你只需要再努力一把 你就是世界上最聪明的小孩了
I'll show them.
我会让他们知道的
2001年 科技展 第一名
It's okay, son.
没事的 孩子
You're still the smartest kid in my book.
在我这你永远是最聪明的
2010年 高中毕业 优秀毕业生代表
Come on, Dad. Number one. We're valedictorian.
过来 爸 我们是第一名 我们要毕业致辞
Smile for the camera, Dad.
对着镜头笑一下 爸
2013年 耶鲁大学高等物理学课
2042年 重大发现
I did it. My time machine is complete!
我成功了 我的时光机完成了
Oh! Sir, you're a genius. I am a genius.
哦 先生 你是个天才
We can go back in time and fix history.
我们可以回到过去修正历史了
We could do that.
我们可以
- We can kill Hitler. - We could do that.
-我们可以杀掉希特勒 -我们可以这么办
Or reverse global warming.
或者阻止全球变暖
Or become my own dad.
或者做我自己的爸爸
What's that, sir?
你说什么 先生
That's right. All the other kids got to cruise through life,
没错 其他那些小孩都过得顺风顺水
knowing Daddy will be there to save them
知道有老爸可以救他们于水火
while I always had to work twice as hard.
而我始终要加倍地努力
- Sir, you sound mad. - What are you saying?
-先生 你听起来有点疯狂 -你说什么
If I can't have a dad, I'm gonna become my own dad.
如果我从前没有父亲 那就做自己的父亲
With this time machine, I'm gonna go back in time, and I'm gonna raise myself!
有了这台时光机 我就能回到过去 把我自己好好养大了
Oh, my God.
老天呐
It's working.
真的有用
Oh, it's happening.
要成了
Oh, my God. It's going.
老天啊 机器启动了
I'm going back in time!
我要回到过去了
Kind of painful.
有点疼
Holy shit.
老天爷啊
Peace out, bitches!
爷走了 贱人们
Oh, shit.
哦干
2001年 小学科技展 第二名
Holy shit, I did it.
老天爷 我成功了
You are the smartest kid in the world.
你是全世界最聪明的小孩
Man, fuck your dumbass kid.
老哥 去你的蠢蛋小孩吧
Excuse me?
你说什么
You heard me. My kid is the smartest kid in the world.
你听见了 我的小孩才是全世界最聪明的小孩
- Dad? - That's right.
-爸 -没错
I'm here, son. We lit.
我来了 孩子 我们走起
You don't have to prove anything to these motherfuckers.
你不需要向这些狗屎人证明任何事
The only thing that matters is your happiness.
世上唯一重要的事就是你的幸福
Fuck this dude. Come on, put it up.
去他的 来 跟我一起比
Lit, we lit, we lit. Yeah.
我们走起 对
2010年 高中毕业（勉勉强强）
Ah, get out of the way. Get out of the way.
让开 別挡着路 別挡着路
Your dad's here now, son.
你爸爸来了 孩子
Let's see them bastards laugh at us now.
让我看看是哪些混蛋还敢笑话我们
We got the diploma. Let's take the picture. Let's prove it.
我们拿到学位了 我们一起照张相 让他们看看
Fuck school. Fuck it!
去他的学校 去他的
Fuck it! Fuck it!
去他的 去他的
2013年 社区大学 基础图形课
All rectangles are not squares, people, okay?
不是所有的长方形都是正方形 听到没
Went over this last week. There will be a test.
我们上周说过了 你们要考试
2014年 家长周
Gonna get that D-plus average up to a B-minus, B-plus,
得把你平均D+得成绩提到B- B+
and we'll be looking at Yale in no time.
然后考上耶鲁就指日可待了
I need you to sign this form for me, Dad.
爸 我需要你签一下这个表
Of course.
没问题
You're dropping out of community college?
你要从社区大学缀学
- I am. - Why?
-是的 -为什么
Because it's hard,
因为太难了
plus you said it yourself-- I don't need to go to college.
而且你自己也说了 我不需要上大学
I'm the smartest kid in the world.
我是全世界最聪明的小孩
Yeah, but you still need to apply yourself.
是 但是你还是得努力去做啊
My boy French got me a job working at the BangBus.
我兄弟French给我在BangBus找了份工作
BangBus?
BangBus
What is--what is BangBus?
那是 那是什么
It's pornography.
就是拍色情片
You're dropping out to be a porn star?
你要辍学去拍片
No, no, no, I'm driving the BangBus
不不不 我去当司机
but I figured if I learn the ropes work my way up,
但是我想着我能学到点什么 一步一步往上爬
get to that camera, get the POV scene, you know what I mean?
能当上摄影师 拍点那些主角视角的镜头 你知道吗
But what about studying quantum physics like me?
说好的像我一样研究量子物理呢
Boring, boring. I'd rather do the BangBus.
无聊 无聊 我宁愿去BangBus开车
I don't think you realize what I went through to raise you.
你不明白我为了养大你付出了多少
And I don't think you understand that I'm not you.
你不明白 我不是你
But that's the thing. You are me, and I'm you.
但是这就是重点 你就是我 我就是你
That's pretty deep for a library visit, Dad.
这次对话对于一场图书馆会面来说太深奥了 爸
You got--you got a light? I'm gonna smoke this joint.
你有打火机吗 我想把这根卷烟抽了
You have to follow precisely in my footsteps.
你得严格履行我的路线
Dad, you always said do what makes me happy.
爸 你总是说 做让我开心的事
I know I said that, but--
我知道我是这么说的 但是
Well, driving the BangBus makes me happy, Dad.
去BangBus开车就是能让我开心的事 爸
Isn't that what you wanted?
这难道不是你所希望的吗
Yeah.
是啊
Yeah, it is what I wanted. You're right.
是啊 这是我希望的 你说的没错
That's exactly what I wanted-for us to be happy.
这正是我想要的 我想要我们能高高兴兴的
Yo, what's happening, yo?
这是怎么了
I get it.
我明白了
We grew up with a father who gave us everything
当我们有一个有求必应的老爸时
so we never had to work hard or--or overachieve.
我们就不需要那么努力 或者说过于努力
We're BangBus drivers.
我们要去开BangBus
We're gonna watch people fuck for a living.
我们要靠看人打炮讨生活
We were never gonna build a time machine--we don't have to.
我们不会造出时间机器 因为并无这种必要
What the fuck you talking about--time machine?
你他妈说什么呢 什么时间机器
And why are you disappearing?
你为什么在消失
We're just like those legacy kids we grew up despising.
我们现在就跟我们从小到大一直鄙视的那些富二代一样
We're lazy. We're entitled. We're spoiled.
我们懒惰 不可一世 被宠坏了
But we're happy.
但是我们很快乐
Where you going, Dad?
你要去哪 爸
It's cool. I can go now.
没事的 我该走了
We raised ourself right.
我们把自己养得很好
Dad.
爸
You forgot to sign the paperwork.
你忘了签这个文件了
One of the only times I didn't end up sleeping with a guy
我为数不多的最后没有跟一个男的上床的经历是
was because when he pulled down his pants...
因为他脱下他的裤子以后
His penis was shaped like one of those Firecracker popsicles.
他的XX长得就跟那种炮仗冰棍一模一样
A Firecracker popsicle? Like the Fourth of July joint?
炮仗冰棍 就跟独立日卖的那些一样吗
It went like...
就像…
To a point, and I was like, "How do I suck on this and not get it sharper?"
以至于我自己都在想 我怎么嘬才能不把它嘬得更尖啊
Wait a minute.
等一下
Women don't like certain penis shapes?
你们女人会不喜欢某些XX形状吗
No.
对
Is that true? I didn't know that shit.
真的吗 我都不知道
We having a good show about coochies and cheating, and y'all want to talk about dicks?
我们讲猫猫和出轨讲得好好的 你们却都想聊XX
Where's my phone?
我的手机呢
For the last time, baby, you don't need to do this.
我再说一遍 宝贝 你不用这么做的
It's too late. You can't talk me out of this.
太晚了 你不能说动我了
It's my body. I make the rules.
我的身体我做主
Your body is good enough for me.
你现在这样我就很满意了
I'm not doing this for you, damn it.
我又不是为了你 可恶
I'm doing it for me. Why can't you see that?
我是为了我自己 你为什么就是不明白呢
I don't want you to go to the DR for six months!
我不想让你在多米尼加待六个月
This is bigger than you.
这不光是你的事
If I don't take a stand now, I never will.
要是我现在不下定决心 我永远也做不成了
I'ma make you proud, sir.
我会让你骄傲的
Stop looking at photos of your naked father.
别再看你爸的裸照了
You'll never be him.
你永远也成不了他那样的人
Actually, when I get this Dominican dick-lift, I'll be just like him.
事实上 等我做了这个多米尼加XX提升术 我就能跟他一样了
It's only eight grand. We won't even miss it.
只要八万块 我们花完都想不起来这茬
Are you even listening to yourself?
你能听见自己在说啥吗
You're 40 years old and want a DDL.
你都四十了 还想着做什么提X术
It's not safe.
这不安全
Besides...
再说了
I think your penis is fine.
我觉得你现在的XX就挺好的
That's the problem.
问题就在这
My whole life, my dad had this perfect, natural, long dick, and mine, mine's fine.
我这一辈子 我爸都长这这么一个自然完美修长的XX 而我呢 只是挺好的
Well, I wasn't put on this Earth to have a just-fine penis!
我怎么带着这根平平无奇的XX过一辈子
But I like a just-fine penis.
但是我喜欢平平无奇的XX
But nothing!
但是个鬼
I'm gonna get all the fat sucked out of my stupid arms
我要拿我从胳膊里吸出的那些脂肪
and shot into my dick and balls so they're big and fat!
打进我的XX里 让它们又粗又壮
Why do they have to take it out of your arms?
为什么非得从你胳膊里抽
Why can't they take it out of your fat stomach?
为什么他们不从你那个大肥肚子里抽
You think I don't know that my stomach's fatter than my little arms?
你以为我不知道自己的肚子比胳膊更肥吗
Yes, I asked them if they could take it out of my fat stomach or my fat ass.
是啊 我问过他们了 我问他们能不能从我的肚子或者屁股上抽
And they said no! It has to come out of the arms.
他们说不行 必须得是胳膊
Why would they suck fat out of a place there's not fat?
他们为什么要从不胖的地方取脂肪
I don't even understand the surgery.
我都弄不明白那个手术
When I come cruising back with a big, old, fat set of balls,
等我成功变身 风光归来之日
you'll be saying they're smart then.
你就会知道他们的好了
Wait!
等等
I don't want a big, fat set of balls!
我不想要一对大胖蛋蛋
What am I gonna be sleeping with?
我以后要跟一个什么样的人同床共枕啊
They say when it becomes erect, it's the same size,
他们说X起了以后是一样大的
but limp, it's gonna be huge and fat!
但是会变得又大又粗的
Don't I matter at all?
我怎么想不重要吗
You matter, but me getting a big-ass dick matters more.
当然重要 但是我的XX变大更重要
I'll see you in March.
三月再见吧
Why?
为什么
I think if you have, like, a therapist
我觉得如果你找个心理医生
maybe it's a lot easier to deal with your relationship in therapy
那么你在心理治疗的时候可能能够更轻松地应对自己的人际关系
because you're working on yourself constantly
因为你会一直琢磨自己
and your partner is not the first person to find out all these things.
而且你对象也不会是第一个发现你那些毛病的人了
You know, 'cause, like, sometimes if I'm in an argument with my girl, like, she's right.
你懂的 就像我跟我女朋友吵架的时候 虽然她说的在理
I just don't like it.
但是我就是不喜欢
I know she's right,
我知道她是对的
but I'll just be like, "I don't like that you feel comfortable enough to be right."
但是我就觉得 你这么理直气壮的就让我很不爽
"The abundance that you want is already inside of you."
你所求的富足已在你心中
"The universe has everything you need to live the life that you want to live."
你想要的生活所需要的一切在宇宙中早已存在
"With The Code, you can unlock all of your desires and live your life to its full potential."
有了这本守则 你就能实现所有的愿望 发挥自己的潜能 过上想要的生活
That and much, much more I go into in this book.
以上还有更多的内容 我在书中还会更加深入地介绍
Really powerful stuff, Jeff. Thank you.
非常有力 Jeff 谢谢你
And right now we want to open it up for any questions that we might have for the author.
现在 大家有什么问题都可以在此向作者提问
Yes, yeah. Hi.
好的 就你吧
So you referenced The Code several times, but never explicitly stated what it was.
你多次提及守则 但没有向我们解释那是什么
I'm hoping you could shed a little more light?
我希望你可以讲得更明白一点
We all conduct ourselves by codes, by habits, protocols for our lives.
我们依照守则 依照习惯与章程来生活
The Code is about crafting rituals to define our identities.
守则讲得是建立习惯来塑造我们的身份
For instance, I microdose.
比如说 我会微吸
It's just one of the tools I use to be the best version of myself.
这只是我让自己变得更好的方式之一
Yeah, actually, I've heard about the long-term creative benefits of microdosing.
事实上 我有听说过长期微量吸食对创造力有益
So do you take, um, psilocybin, LSD?
那你用的是什么 蘑菇 致幻剂
Actually, crack.
其实是可卡因
I smoke a teeny, tiny bit of crack every day...
我每天都吸一丢丢可卡因
actually, every 30 minutes or so.
其实是每三十分钟吸一次
You know, microdosing crack really gives me a lot of confidence in the workplace
微吸可卡因真的为我在工作场合带来了很大的信心
that I always felt like was missing.
这种感觉让我非常怀念
It gives me a lot of energy, allows me time to do the things I love with my life.
它让我精力充沛 让我有时间做我喜欢的事
Microdosing crack gives me the confidence to walk up to any woman.
微吸可卡因给了我跟任何女人搭讪的自信
- So you're a crackhead? - No.
-所以你是个瘾君子 -不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
不不不不不不不不不不不不
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
不不不不不不不不不
Would a crackhead wear a suit?
瘾君子会穿西装吗
But there's a cord hanging out of your pants leg.
不过你裤脚那还挂着根电线呢
Good eye.
好眼力
I was wondering if anybody was interested in buying an extension cord.
我还在想有没有人有兴趣买根延长电线呢
- For what? - For money, lady, duh.
-用(来干)什么 -用钱啊 女士 还用说吗
See, it's dumb questions like that that show that you need The Code in your life.
看吧 能问出这种蠢问题就说明你的人生需要一本守则
The book, the--
这本书
the pages are completely blank.
这里面都是空白的
You got a whole section of blank books.
你还为没字的书搞了个专区呢
Put 'em with the Moleskines.
跟笔记本放一块吧
You want the words, the words is extra.
你想要字 那得另外收钱
That's what a book is-the words.
那样的才叫书啊 有字的
Wrong, the book is a book part.
不对 书是书
The words is the words.
字是字
Hey, I want my money back.
嘿 把钱退我
Your money's been gone. I already smoked it.
你的钱已经没了 都被我吸没了
Now, is anybody interested in buying an extension cord?
现在 有没有人有兴趣买根延长电线
What?
怎么了
Is there a bug on my back? What happened?
我背上是有个虫吗 发生什么了
Somebody wants an extension cord.
总有人想要延长电线的
Who's the nigga that tried crack the second time?
史上第二个尝试可卡因的人是谁啊
Like, I understand the first guy that got tricked into smoking crack
我能明白第一个人被骗吸了点
but who was the second guy that saw that guy and was like,
但是谁是第二个人 他看了第一个人的惨状 然后
"You know what, I bet it was a fluke"?
你知道吗 我打赌那只是个偶然
"I bet my teeth won't fall out."
我赌我的牙不会掉
I bet I'll keep my baby.
我赌我能保住我的孩子
I'm sorry, Madea, but you have testicular "curncer."
我很抱歉 Madea 但你得了睾丸唉
Oh, Lord, not testicular "curncer"!
哦 主啊 别是睾丸唉啊
Wow, they really get right to it.
哇哦 他们演的还挺投入的
I'm about to pop a cap.
我要出离愤怒了
- Brother, brother? - Oh, no. I already paid, my man.
-兄弟 兄弟 -不 我已经给过钱了 老兄
- Oh, here you are, Deacon. - Thank you, sister.
-哦 拿着 执事 -谢谢你 姐妹
Right now we're asking for a small offering for the safe-landing fund.
现在我们正在为安全降落基金筹集一小笔捐款
"Safe-landing fund"? Man, how about this?
安全降落基金 老兄 这样怎么样
No.
不给
Oh, what?
哦 啥
- See what you did? - What I do?
-看你干的好事 -我干啥了
You done angered the Lord by being cheap, brother.
你是个小气鬼 你的行为触怒了主 兄弟
That's a bad man.
真是个坏人
Uh-oh, saints, look like we done run into a terrible storm,
啊哦 圣徒们 看起来我们遇到了一场可怕的风暴
so I'm gonna ask all you passengers to bow your heads for a moment of silence
我想请求你们所有乘客都能低下头 静默片刻
and please disconnect all electronics while the Lord is working.
在等待主施展神迹之时 请关闭所有的电子设备
Hey, don't turn off the plane, man! What-
嘿 别把飞机都关了啊 老兄 怎么
The Lord has revealed to me that
主已经对我说了
there is a passenger on board that does not know His word.
我们航班上有一位乘客没有听从祂的话
And He's asked me to find this sinner.
祂要求我找出那位罪人
Right here. He a heathen.
就在这 这个异教徒
Hey, I thought you was a fan.
嘿 我还以为你是我的粉丝呢
Oh, you mother sucker--
哦 你这个XX
Sir, do you know Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, son?
先生 你知道耶稣基督是你的主和拯救者吗 孩子
Hey, man, who is flying the plane?
嘿 老兄 现在是谁在开飞机啊
Well, Jesus is.
耶稣啊
- What's your name, son. - Michael Blackson.
-你叫什么 孩子 -Michael Blackson
Would you like to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, Mr. Michael Blackson?
你愿意接受耶稣基督作为你的主和拯救者吗 Michael Blackson先生
If I do, will you fly the fucking plane?
如果我说愿意 你能快点好好开飞机吗
- I won't if you don't. - Fine, fine, whatever, man.
-你不说我就不开 -好了好了 随便吧
All right.
好
Now repeat after me.
现在跟着我念
- Dear "Lord-uh!" - Dear Lord.
-敬爱的主啊 -敬爱的主
- No, I said "Lorid-uh"! - "Lorid-uh."
-不对 我说的是主啊 -主啊
I accept Your son Jesus Christ as my lord and savior.
我接受您的儿子耶稣基督作为我的主和拯救者
I accept Your son Jesus Christ as my lord and savior.
我接受您的儿子耶稣基督作为我的主和拯救者
And I'll promise to stop watching pornography!
我承诺以后再也不看黄片了
Hey, man, I didn't know you was gonna throw that at me.
嘿 老兄 我不知道你要突然来这一手啊
I refuse to get "excitorated" looking at hot, sweaty bodies,
我拒绝因看到火辣汗湿的身体
buttocks jiggling, thighs jiggling, legs, even feet, too, now.
摇晃的臀部 大腿 腿 甚至是脚而鸡动
All right, fine, I'll give up the feet porn, man.
好好好 行 我以后不看那些足控了 老兄
- I'll stop doing it! - Amen!
-我再也不看了 -阿门
Wha-ha! Amen! Amen.
阿门 阿门
All right, Deacon, pass that collection plate around one more time-let's get an offering going.
好了 执事 再传一下捐款的盘子 让我们再来一波捐款
How many collections y'all gonna take on this plane?
你们这一次航班要捐多少款啊
Well, till we get to the promised land.
直到我们抵达应许之地
I thought this was going to Atlanta.
我还以为这是去亚特兰大的
Yeah, like I said, the promised land.
是啊 跟我说的一样 应许之地
This is the last time I do the BET Awards.
我以后再也不参加黑人娱乐电视大奖了
- Do you like Tyler Perry? - Love Tyler Perry.
-你喜欢Tyler Perry吗 -我超爱Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry即黑疯婆子Madea系列主演
Coon.
黑鬼
All them niggas be beating they wives.
他们都打老婆
You fat and you ugly, bitch!
你这个又肥又丑的贱人
I don't know why I married you! Four hours of that.
我都不知道自己为什么娶了你 四个小时全是这些
- Why--why am I watching this? - It's a happy ending.
-我为什么要看这个 -结局是个好结局
You got to watch to the end, though. It's a happy ending.
你一定得看到结局 是个好结局
What happens in the end?
最后怎么样了
She lose weight, and she get a new man.
她减肥成功 找了个新男人
You never watch the end.
你从来都不看到结局