Whoa.
See that crazy Calvert go by? Ate his dust.
When you come back to banning, Willie boy?
- 5:00 freight. - Going to the fiesta?
That where you're goin', Tom? Well, sure.
Trailing Mr. Calvert with a tow...
In case he breaks down or breaks his neck.
Well, guess that's where I'm goin'.
Whoa.
Still punching cows, Willie? Nope.
Mr. Calvert said you'd been a foreman...
On a ranch in Victorville for a while. Yep.
I hear a white woman owned it.
- You heard right. - And you left?
Her husband come home.
Why do you want trouble?
It goes with you.
I'm not worth it.
You bet.
Here comes your trouble.
My father, my brothers.
I'll see you in Calvert's orchard, midnight.
Midnight?
You be there.
Willie!
I told you once before, I'll shoot you.
Don't you believe me, Willie boy?
I believe you, Mike.
Last time I run off with her.
This time I'm asking you.
I can't hear you.
Well, you better.
All right, boys, get it and go!
We don't want no revival meeting here!
What you doin' with these Sunday school redskins, Willie? Got the religion?
What you got, meathead? Death valley juice?
Hell no. White man's whiskey.
I got real confidence in it.
I didn't make it. I stole it.
Bu yin'? I'm waitin'...
To see how long it takes to kill. How much?
A dollar.
Indian bastard.
You certainly took your time getting here, sheriff Cooper.
I telephoned twice.
There are three men selling whiskey to my Indians here today.
He can't do anything. These are white men.
Lead the way, Chino.
That's the way to be born, if you gotta be born, Coop.
Boston money, smart and snotty. Everything comin' to ya.
The superintendent of this Indian reservation...
Has got the finest legs I've ever seen on man or beast.
It's too bad she don't like you.
There's gold in them hills.
I'll live, Ray.
Sheriff?
I want these men removed expeditiously, without a fuss.
This is federal property. Get them off.
Those are orders!
Chino!
I don't know you. Who, me?
Yeah. Sam wood, sheriff.
Wanna step down?
Meathead, I thought I told you a year ago...
Not to come around selling liquor to the Indians. I thought you was in Colton.
Coop!
What are you laughing at?
I'm sorry.
How much? It's closing time.
How much?
Two bits.
Gonna make some squaw happy tonight?
Gonna do a little Larkin'?
I don't think he likes what you said, Mr. Benby. I don't care.
Lock up.
Any you boys ridin' up to riverside for the parade?
I wouldn't budge my butt to see president Taft.
President's gonna feel pretty bad about that.
I don't care how the president feels.
They're givin' Taft a dinner at the mission inn and buildin' a chair...
Big enough to hold all 300 pounds of him.
You call that democracy when they take my money without my say-so...
- And build a chair for the president? - When did they do that, George?
Would they ever think of laying out a dollar for George Hacker?
I'll tell you what democracy is. Take that Indian.
We let him come and go as if he still owned this country,
just as if he was white and a man.
That's what I call democracy. Real democracy!
Anyone else like a game?
To keep it interesting, I'll play for a quarter.
A dime?
Why, I'll even play for a penny.
Why don't you get back on the reservation where you belong?
Out.
I'm not about to waste my night in jail with you.
Pick up your rig and get the hell out of the county.
That's damn white of you, sheriff.
Hey, Coop!
Coop! Yeah?
I got Indian trouble. Kick 'em the hell out.
Not me. It's Willie boy.
Willie carrying a gun? I didn't notice.
You're a lot of help.
Willie's took off. I advise you to do the same.
Hi, Coop. What do you know?
This ain't no mortuary. Couldn't you lay him out on the floor?
Come over in the morning and swear out a complaint. Pick him up tonight.
That redskin tried to kill me. What kind of town is this?
That's my blood. He tried to kill me! If he tried, you'd be dead.
What you ghostin' around here for, Willie?
Where's ol' Mike beddin' down?
Back at the wash beyond the old olives.
You wanna down bunk here, it's okay.
Maybe.
Hey, you ever get back to Nevada like you said?
They say I lost my way in Victorville.
Yeah, that's what they say.
There goes the old midnight special for El Paso.
You got an extra blanket, Charley?
Why not?
Finish that.
See ya, Charley.
I don't want you here tonight.
I know you don't, but here I am.
So let me in.
You know it don't matter what you say.
You know that.
So come on.
Let me in.
Willie?
You're just gonna hang around here...
Mothering these Indians until you're sick and tired.
Then you'll go off somewhere,
I don't know, Europe, east,
some damn place looking for somebody else to save.
What's that got to do with me?
You just want me to say I love you or something,
something to make you feel nice, comfortable and happy.
That don't have nothing to do with me.
You can't even open your eyes.
And you a doctor!
To look at a man in his natural state, he's got to be a corpse.
You couldn't make anyone happy.
You can't even make yourself into a man killing Indians like your father,
that great murdering marshal. My father doesn't have nothing to do with anything.
That's all gone now. All you can do is humiliate me.
You can always say "no-II
How could I resist you?
You're brutal, coarse, violent...
Like a wolf in a cage.
I use you the way you use me.
And if you weren't a fool playing sheriff in a dusty little town,
you'd know that.
Who do you think you are? Elizabeth Arnold,
A.B., Radcliffe Anthropologist, Smithsonian M.D., Johns Hopkins.
Who are you?
You should've seen your face fighting those men.
Joy! Stupid ignorant happiness!
Love me? You don't even like me.
You just...
I could teach school in Nevada...
And... have my own schoolhouse.
And maybe you could have your own ranch.
Maybe.
I let your father chase me with a gun because of you.
I asked for you white man's way,
and I asked for you Indian way...
And he chased me with a gun.
And I'm no man to be kept waiting,
not by him... And not by you.
Willie! Willie!
Frank? I need a coroner down here.
Who got killed? Some Indian.
The killer's run away with the daughter.
Hat kind of a fool is that? Do I know him?
Some Indian. I thought you meant a white man.
I'm here with Dr. Arnold,
the superintendent of the Morongo Indian reservation.
I'll send a coroner. Do everything right and regular.
We don't want that bitch writing Washington about our lousy Indians.
Right.
Send a little posse out. Yeah.
Coop, you and me are going to be riding...
In the same automobile with president Taft as his bodyguards.
Oh, is Ray Calvert coming with you?
We're drivin' up in my car.
See you. Yeah. Good-bye.
Coop?
You've got to go after Willie and bring Lola back.
I know she doesn't want to be a desert squaw.
She run off with Willie once before.
My mother told Lola to go along with Willie boy.
It's the Paiute way and always was.
Willie killed Mike and took Lola. Marriage by capture.
The mother knew it...
And told her to go.
I want Lola back here where she belongs.
What do you say, Ray?
Want to give it 24 hours before we go to riverside? Sure, why not?
Charley? All right, Coop.
Clothes and ammunition. What else did Willie grab?
I'll give 'em a few signs so they head for Palm Springs.
You didn't have to shoot. He would've killed me.
What are we gonna do, Willie?
It'll be all right.
Don't feel sad.
I didn't hate him.
One way or the other, you die at the end.
They won't catch us, Lola.
They won't even try.
Nobody gives a damn what Indians do.
Nobody.
Now, it won't hurt.
You could run. You're still afraid and you might run away.
Why should I want to run? Untie me! Untie me!
If they come close, I'll yell! I'll call!
I'll never stay with you!
I'll run whenever I can. Untie me!
You want to run?
Run.
What do you make of it, Chino?
That's the kind of dress she was wearing when she left.
That's what her mother said.
He's been goin' the hard way,
barefoot and keepin' to the rocks.
Considering how fast he's movin', there ought to be more signs.
Sheriff, here.
This is where they put on their shoes. Mr. Calvert.
It's Palm Springs.
He's all out now and we've got him.
How much time do you figure they have on us, Chino? Three, maybe four hours.
I don't believe it.
What don't you believe? What the hell's he want to go to Palm Springs for?
What's he got there? Some Indians he don't know?
He should be headed to twenty nine palms where he can get help.
He should be heading up the dry Morongo pass. Coop, signs don't lie.
All my life I've been readin' them, me and your father.
We killed a lot of Indians, good scouts and hunters. These signs say Palm Springs.
They had to come through this pass. They couldn't get through that fire.
I'm taking Chino and heading up dry Morongo pass.
Join me there.
Smoke.
You wait here.
When I tell you to wait, wait!
What can we do now? What I told you. Wait.
We come up the big Morongo.
If he followed us, he wouldn't be here yet.
He took the dry Morongo road, so he's just guessing.
He don't know we're here, not yet,
not for sure.
They could be freighter wagons camped down there.
They don't know about you, Willie.
Freighters don't bed down like that.
Coop's guessing good.
It's the posse, all right.
I wasted two hours tr yin' to fox him.
I'm holding you back, huh?
Maybe.
I'm runnin' because of you.
Nothing?
Sure hope you boys ain't too uncomfortable.
Come on, sheriff. We covered a lot of ground.
- Did you find anything? - No.
We didn't either, sheriff.
It's gonna be dark in a couple hours.
I guess if we don't see him, he won't be able to see us.
I don't know, hacker. He could see that big belly of yours anywhere.
Sheriff? Yes, benby?
We don't have any evidence of Willie's having come this way.
I just don't think he's here. Well?
I'm just giving you my opinion.
It's worthless.
I was telling 'em about the year your daddy and me...
Trailed a party of Comanche into Mexico.
We brought back six scalps that time. Yep.
It was kinda nice in those days,
I mean, even with all the fighting.
You could look across the mountain and see the teepees in the sun.
Forget the good old days. Let's cover as much ground as we can.
I think we're all right.
We can get through.
Did they leave?
No.
When it spreads enough, we'll pass them.
We won't try the desert. The posse's too close.
We can't outrun horses.
I know a shack where we can get food and water.
We'll go around the north side to Ruby mountain.
We'll have to walk all night... And all day too.
I didn't think they'd want me that bad.
Maybe they're like me. Maybe it's you they want.
That doctor woman know about us?
You tell her I wanted you to run away with me?
She said be a teacher like her.
And teach the lies?
And be an old maid?
What about her and the sheriff?
He's in her bed like I'm in yours.
We've never been in a bed.
Take off your shoes.
And remember... You're no schoolteacher now.
If you step on cactus or run into it, you're my wife.
No, spread this.
Johnny, go on over there.
No!
Damn it! Don't fire.
I got him! I think I got him.
Who the hell is it?
Blood.
It's four-footed blood, you dumb fool.
Could've been one of us, hacker, or the girl.
What the hell? I saw something move, I took a shot!
It's a start. First blood.
You crazy bastard!
You would've killed him without a chance! Take it easy, Charley.
You said you liked Willie. We're hunting. You can't hunt and be half a hunter.
What's he doing along if he don't wanna catch him? Willie didn't have a gun.
I'm not gonna see him lynched by some poolroom bum!
Or some politician like you.
I'm tellin' you that whether you like it or not, judge.
Why don't you go break out some feed, Charley?
Sheriff,
I think you ought to send that man home.
You're not mayor yet.
You're just running like Willie.
All right!
He's been here and not too long ago.
That Willie ever get tired? We've been on this since daybreak.
This is it for me.
Leave the wagon here. You've got saddles.
Tom can walk back to Warren's well.
I'll make arrangements to have men and supplies there.
I don't expect you boys to wear yourself to skin and bones.
When you get to the county line, turn back.
Come on. We're a day late and I gotta be in riverside. Hell, I wanna see a president,
I can always to go Washington.
Come here a minute.
This posse couldn't catch a dog in the streets.
They're not gonna catch Willie unless he wants it.
I say he ain't our business, he's Indian business,
and the hell with it. Well, I think I'll hang on, Coop.
I'm beginnin' to enjoy it.
You know, your daddy was lucky.
He died while it was still good to live.
Okay, Ray, take over.
How close are they? Close.
All I want is water.
You'll get it,
a belly full!
Now run.
Come on.
It's all right. We can stay a while.
Fill that.
I thought one day we'd get married in the church at Morongo...
In a white wedding dress.
When we get to twenty nine palms, my cousins will be there.
It's up to them. If they help us all right, if not, I help myself.
Fight or no fight, it doesn't matter to me.
Dr. Arnold would help us if we wanted her to.
She's a helper. She would!
Maybe she could fix it...
If you went to prison for a little while.
I've been to prison for a little while.
I got drunk in San Bernardino...
And they put me in a cell for 30 days,
a little place no bigger than a coyote cave.
My number was 273 on the picture they took.
I don't want you to go to jail, Willie!
They fed me out of a pan like a house dog.
Day and night I thought of these mountains here...
And you.
Indians don't last in prison.
They weren't born for it like the whites.
What did I do that I should die in a white man's prison?
What did any of us do?
What was wrong with us?
Nothing.
Nothing! Just the color.
Willie, are you going to kill them?
If I have to. What do you mean?
If they keep comin'. But they're white. They'll chase you forever.
How long is that? Less than you think.
It's crazy, Willie. You can't beat them, never!
Maybe, maybe.
But they'll know I was here.
They're here.
Go up high. Go up high!
You can see where they walked through,
right across the wash to the spring.
I'll ride out to the spring. If I don't draw his fire,
you follow me when I give the signal.
You better take it on the run. No, let me.
If Willie's there, he won't shoot at me. What makes you so sure?
Maybe he won't do you the favor of recognizing you.
We were bunk mates.
They were laying on my blanket when her father caught 'em.
You want them to surrender, don't you? Yeah, sure.
Then you let me go if he's up there.
You hear that? You let me try! All right, Charley.
But take it on the run in case he's clean forgot that bunk mate stuff.
It's Charley Newcombe.
Maybe they put a few dollars on my head...
And he needs a new guitar.
It looks all right.
We'll take it at a gallop right into the wash.
The horses will go like hell because they want the water.
Johnny, you lay back until we get there. Yes, Mr. Calvert.
Maybe Willie's in that wash.
That's part of the game, judge. If he is, we got him.
If he ain't, we got water.
No!
Willie!
He shot my horse! What the hell are you doing just standing there?
Give that gun to benby. Now start shooting.
Johnny, can you make it to Warren's well? It's about 30 miles.
Send help and get somebody to ride over to Whitewater and wire the sheriff.
Go on, Johnny!
Tell 'em they got everybody but us.
Tell 'em all hell's broke loose! The place is full of Indians.
Gentlemen, this chair was built for the president.
We're pretty excited,
president Taft being the first in his high office to visit this town.
And the fattest.
Sheriff Wilson, what is the area in square feet...
Of this chair seat?
Here's how it's gonna go tomorrow, boys.
We'll end back here with a banquet for the president.
We'll pick him up in San Bernardino. There'll be a 15-car procession.
E'll then unveil a plaque to father Serra and the Sherman institute for children.
We come back here for a reception for the veterans of the grand army of the Republic.
Then back to Colton to catch the train for Arizona.
How about the president's safety?
I want a guarantee there'll be no repetition of what happened in buffalo, New York.
Have any reason to believe there might be?
I called sheriff Cooper back from the Mojave where he was leading...
A manhunt for a renegade Indian.
The president's safety comes first.
We're gonna guard him personally. Now that's news!
Shall I say the sheriff's office doesn't trust
the federal agents guarding the president?
I didn't say nothin'. And he didn't say that.
I'm trying to say that federal agents were watching...
When McKinley was gunned down in buffalo by a lone assassin.
Anybody can kill a president if they want to. They don't even have to have a good reason.
Don't have to be smart. All they have to do is be willing.
People back east don't understand guns, but nobody believes that.
Out west, we've learned to live by 'em.
A presidential assassination will not happen in this town...
Like it happened to president McKinley. May I quote you?
Uh, would you boys like to see the presidential suite?
I think the gentlemen would like to see the bar.
The orange juice is on the house and the bourbon is on sheriff Wilson.
Who's this poor slob loaded on firewater you're hunting, sheriff Cooper?
That's Willie boy and he's a bad one. He's done time in San Berdoo.
Would you excuse me a minute? I have to check something at the desk.
I've never seen you in full eastern... war paint.
I need their help with the president.
They're more likely to help their own kind.
You're their kind.
When did you get here? Last night.
Anything happened? Nothin'.
Is Lola still with him?
Looks like it.
You mean, a dozen armed and mounted men can't catch one Indian on foot?
So far.
I like that.
You would.
I'm having dinner with them. Will you join us?
No.
No, I'm drinking with the press.
Well?
Well, I'm drinking with them.
You would.
What room are you in?
Good night, deputy sheriff Cooper.
Come in, Mr. Dexter. Pretend you're my guest.
I'd rather ask you a few questions, Dr. Arnold.
Don't. Have some champagne. Anytime.
Hmm. Thank you.
I believe you're seeing the president tomorrow...
About the Indian trouble at Morongo.
A reporter with incorrect facts.
There's been a murder. There's a posse out.
The sheriff says he's taking extra precautions...
For the president's safety.
He said that? 50 Wilson said.
You got the wrong sheriff.
Sheriff Cooper has nothing to say.
That's because you chose the wrong subject.
Excuse me, please.
Get out!
Now!
What are you doing here?
Waitin'... For you to come to bed.
May I? No, thank you.
Would you both excuse me, please?
I'm tired. I'd like to retire. Good night.
Good night. Thank you, Elizabeth.
One question, please. Yes, Mr. Dexter?
Is it your opinion, from your knowledge of local conditions,
that this Willie boy incident... there is no Willie boy incident.
I just want to be the first to print the news.
Even if there is none?
All right, what kind of a man is this Indian renegade?
What do you mean, "renegade"?
Renegade from what? Good night, Mr. Dexter!
Good night.
Will all banquet guests enter now, please.
No one can be admitted after president Taft is seated.
Go right in, Dr. Arnold.
Go right in, please. Did, uh,
did you get your minute with the president?
Two.
The president advised me to take my problems to the Indian bureau,
and his assistant wondered whether a man...
Might not be more suitable in my kind of work.
How was the ride back from San Bernardino with the president?
Dusty.
That's some hat.
Thank you.
Coop!
Come on! Coop!
Excuse me, please.
- Bad news, Coop. - Like what?
Willie boy and a band of Paiute ambushed the posse. - How do you know?
How do I know? It's on the western union from whitewater station.
How many got it? Ray Calvert's dead.
Two or three others. We don't know.
And these newshounds, they're burning up the wires.
They're putting you and me alongside the president.
And to top it off,
those sons of bitches are getting drunk on my whiskey!
Any danger to Riverside? What about the president's train?
How could a couple hundred Indians get the idea...
They could overthrow the government of the United States?
Where's Ruby mountain? Where it always was.
What exactly, Dr. Mills?
The bullet shattered when it hit the handcuffs he was carrying.
Pieces scattered near his spine. He lost considerable blood.
Then that trip from Ruby to Warren's well on horseback, that didn't do him any good.
I'll feel a lot better, Dr. Arnold,
when I get him in the hospital in San Bernardino.
Will he live? He needs some luck.
Where is everybody? Johnny Hyde took a fall while he was runnin' for help.
The doc strapped him up and sent him to banning.
Where's Chino? Back at Morongo, sheriff.
Coop, I got a message here for you from sheriff Wilson.
"Bringing four national guard sharpshooters and gentlemen of the press.
"There are posses leaving from San Bernardino, redlands,
"Victorville, Riverside and Ludlow.
"Indian movements reported in the upper desert.
Will meet you at Rock Corral tomorrow."
Tell him I'm leaving now. Marshal, where are you? Damn you!
Right here, Ray.
Coop?
I'm here, Ray.
So am I.
For a minute, I...
I thought you was your old man.
I'm dry, Coop.
Charley?
Willie was just shootin' the horses...
To get himself and Lola a little time, that's all.
Ray got hit by accident.
He was standin' there like a crazy man,
firing his revolver at a target 200 yards away.
Did you see any other Indians?
We didn't even see Willie. I picked Ray up and carried him out.
Are you coming with me?
No. Why not?
I don't want anything more to do with it.
You keep pushin' him, he's gonna start killin' for real.
And all this bull they're makin' up is gonna come true.
You'll never catch Willie, sheriff.
He's like a cloud.
I should've picked Willie up.
I should've before he got old Mike,
but I was hungry after you.
I should've stayed with that posse.
I didn't do my job, the one time in my life I had a job to do.
It wasn't worth doing then. It's not worth doing now.
You and your goddamn Indians and your goddamn talk!
I know where he's going, and I'm gonna get him.
He belongs to me.
The old ladies left me...
All their money.
Maybe the others made 'em go.
Now we have everything.
Your father's gun,
$15 from the old ladies, my uncle's Colt...
And my father's ghost shirt.
You can make a fire. I'm goin' to the Newman ranch for some horses.
Your father's gun is inside. You said we'd get help. There's nobody here.
I was wrong!
Maybe you were wrong about everything. Maybe.
I listened to you. You can't say you're wrong.
Anything goin' on out here? Just the dog.
I think we better put another man with the horses. All right, sheriff.
That dog ain't no bloodhound, Coop.
He's just interested in rabbits and the moon.
I been out here 30 years, and I never had trouble with the Indians.
With the Spaniards, yes, and rustlers and rattlesnakes.
I hate to think of a man like Calvert kickin' off...
Because of a dumb cigar-store Indian.
My father got it in the Ludlow saloon from a horse thief...
Who was so drunk, he couldn't even stand up.
Indian, wasn't he?
Half and half. Well, it don't make sense.
Maybe that's the sense it makes.
Lola!
What's the matter with you?
I'm ready to die for you, and you're not ready to die!
I'm ready to kill for you, and you're not ready to kill!
They'll never catch me, and they'll never get you!
What'd you run and hide for?
Coop is here at the Newman ranch with men and horses.
And us stuck out here in hell with no place to hide.
Not with you... And them with horses.
If I stay with you, you'll die.
What are we doing, Willie? What's going to happen?
I don't know.
They're going to kill you.
That'll be good.
Then you can go back and live with them the way you want to.
Tell 'em how I could've killed them all on Ruby mountain,
but all I did was shoot the horses,
because I thought you wanted to be with me!
But that old bastard, Calvert, that Indian killer, he got his.
And now you know they'll never quit.
You're scared, aren't ya? And you wanna run back!
We”, run! Go on, run!
The road leads right to 'em!
Tell 'em Willie boy is here!
Willie!
I don't want you to die.
I can't live if you die.
I don't want you to die.
I'll never leave you.
I'm your wife.
There was somebody around the horses last night,
one man, and his tracks come and go this way.
He was on the shed too.
I figured you oughta know. Could be.
We can get another half dozen guns. Nope, not yet.
Me and Harry are gonna move in from behind. You and digger take the main road.
You hear any shooting, send digger for all the men you can get.
If everything's all right, I'll give you five shots, five counts apart.
Got it.
Same signal for you.
Suppose you get a knife in your gut so I don't hear no shots at all?
You'll hear me grunt.
She been dead long?
No.
Get that horse the hell outta here!
Why would she kill herself?
Maybe she didn't. I don't know.
Is that the gun?
One shot fired.
Digger, take the body back to banning...
And tell the posse we're on Willie's trail.
You sure he's not hidin' around here some place? Don't you think I'd look?
One ambush per manhunt is plenty. Go on back to the ranch.
Pick up every available man, and ride like hell to mesquite Springs...
And cut off the bullion. Is that your guess?
That's where he should go.
If he don't, I'm on his trail. We'll squeeze him in between.
I'll go with ya. No.
I'll go myself.
If we don't meet up by dark, forget it.
I can't understand it. She didn't do nothin'.
There was no reason for her to die. When you get to the ranch,
knock a coffin together. All right, sheriff.
She sure don't look dead.
She will soon.
Whoa.
We got Lola here. Sheriff Cooper found her at twenty nine palms,
dead, and he's chasin' Willie.
How did she die? A bullet.
Open it.
I'm a doctor.
That's the way we found her.
All her things laid out near her, and a gun.
Do you know how it happened?
We don't know if he did it or she did it.
She's smiling.
No, that's not a smile.
It just means it's time to go underground.
We're going to join the Banning posse. Do they know?
We sent a man to rock corral.
All right, git!
Why did he do it? She's an Indian woman again.
In the old days, you didn't let your wife...
Fall into the hands of the enemy. No one is their enemy.
I think she killed herself...
Just to help him escape.
Dr. Arnold!
It's Willie and the sheriff.
Coop's horse threw a shoe. That's impossible.
Digger said the sheriff was tracking Willie near twenty nine palms.
Willie's headed back for Ruby mountain.
Here are his tracks and Coop's,
late last night or early this morning.
You sure? Very sure.
Maybe Willie's through running.
Cody? Yes, Dr. Arnold?
You ride on to rock corral.
If sheriff Wilson's there, let him know we're going to Ruby mountain.
Willie...
You can turn around if you want to.
There. There they are.
He's yours.
Bury him.
I gave him his chance.
He didn't want it.
He didn't have no bullets in his gun.
Damn it! Who told you to burn him? Coop said to Bury him.
We've got nothing to show. What the hell is the matter with you?
Goddamn it, Coop! People have got to see something!
Tell 'em we're all out of souvenirs.