1
00:00:06,788 --> 00:00:08,755
Ugh, General Hospital?
2
00:00:08,757 --> 00:00:10,156
Why are you
wasting your time
3
00:00:10,158 --> 00:00:11,157
watching this trash?
4
00:00:11,159 --> 00:00:12,525
Guiding Light is on.
5
00:00:12,527 --> 00:00:14,894
Because I'm a little
concerned
6
00:00:14,896 --> 00:00:17,163
about what they're doing
with Jason's character.
7
00:00:17,165 --> 00:00:18,531
It's halfway
through the show
8
00:00:18,533 --> 00:00:20,366
and he still has
his shirt on.
9
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,401
Don't worry, he's going
down to the waterfront.
10
00:00:22,403 --> 00:00:24,303
Brenda's gonna be
down there crying.
11
00:00:24,305 --> 00:00:25,639
It's coming off.
12
00:00:27,343 --> 00:00:28,975
Excuse me, could
I get some sugar?
13
00:00:34,115 --> 00:00:35,681
Roseanne!
14
00:00:35,683 --> 00:00:38,250
Should I just rip off
the shirt of every customer
15
00:00:38,252 --> 00:00:39,852
so that they can
get your attention?
16
00:00:39,854 --> 00:00:41,454
Not these customers.
17
00:00:41,456 --> 00:00:43,589
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no.
18
00:00:43,591 --> 00:00:46,059
We don't charge
Mr. Mehlman
19
00:00:46,061 --> 00:00:48,261
of Mehlman
Restaurant Supplies.
20
00:00:48,263 --> 00:00:49,929
He's our special
friend.
21
00:00:49,931 --> 00:00:51,164
[chuckles]
22
00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:53,166
Oh, a special
friend, huh?
23
00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:57,270
Well, the food
is on the house.
24
00:00:57,272 --> 00:00:58,671
If you're sleeping
with Leon,
25
00:00:58,673 --> 00:01:00,672
it's a miracle
you can eat at all.
26
00:01:02,244 --> 00:01:04,509
She thinks
she's funny.
27
00:01:04,511 --> 00:01:06,146
You know, I'd
let the girl go
28
00:01:06,148 --> 00:01:08,814
except she scares
away robbers.
29
00:01:08,816 --> 00:01:11,117
You know, I got a gal
like that who works for me.
30
00:01:11,119 --> 00:01:12,484
Gives me nothing
but trouble.
31
00:01:12,486 --> 00:01:14,820
I'd fire her,
but she's my wife!
32
00:01:17,892 --> 00:01:19,025
Oh, my.
33
00:01:19,027 --> 00:01:20,625
Give Maureen
my love.
34
00:01:20,627 --> 00:01:22,494
Well, I got to get
back to the office,
35
00:01:22,496 --> 00:01:25,330
find out if my employees
are working hard.
36
00:01:25,332 --> 00:01:26,631
Or hardly working.
37
00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:28,334
Ha ha ha!
38
00:01:28,336 --> 00:01:30,236
You know, I hear
he's considered
39
00:01:30,238 --> 00:01:32,570
a comic genius
in France.
40
00:01:34,342 --> 00:01:36,475
Roseanne, let me give you
a little business lesson.
41
00:01:36,477 --> 00:01:39,545
That gentleman you
were just so rude to
42
00:01:39,547 --> 00:01:41,146
is Mr. Stu Mehlman,
43
00:01:41,148 --> 00:01:43,648
who I met at
the Lanford Mens Club.
44
00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:45,417
I invited him here.
45
00:01:45,419 --> 00:01:47,486
I made friends with him.
46
00:01:47,488 --> 00:01:49,220
And now we are getting
47
00:01:49,222 --> 00:01:51,488
a deep fat fryer
for cost.
48
00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:53,125
Well, that is great
49
00:01:53,127 --> 00:01:54,760
'cause I'd hate
to hold your face
50
00:01:54,762 --> 00:01:58,229
in a deep fat fryer
we paid full price for.
51
00:01:58,231 --> 00:02:01,199
It's called networking,
Roseanne.
52
00:02:01,201 --> 00:02:03,501
And that is why I
have been after Jackie
53
00:02:03,503 --> 00:02:06,337
to join the Lanford
Womens Association.
54
00:02:06,339 --> 00:02:08,606
So we can get more
things at a discount.
55
00:02:08,608 --> 00:02:10,909
In fact, Nancy...
56
00:02:10,911 --> 00:02:13,044
why don't you join?
57
00:02:13,046 --> 00:02:14,212
You've been asking
58
00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:15,813
for more responsibility
around here.
59
00:02:15,815 --> 00:02:18,217
I just meant
I wanted a key.
60
00:02:22,856 --> 00:02:25,923
So, hey, hold on a second.
What about me, you know?
61
00:02:25,925 --> 00:02:28,392
I can join some group
of stupid, snobby,
62
00:02:28,394 --> 00:02:30,895
stuck-up broads
and make friends.
63
00:02:30,897 --> 00:02:34,165
Oh, Roseanne,
how can I say this
64
00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:37,235
so that I don't
hurt your feelings?
65
00:02:37,237 --> 00:02:41,271
You're a horrible woman
and nobody likes you.
66
00:02:44,311 --> 00:02:47,611
Well, be that as it may,
I'm still gonna join,
67
00:02:47,613 --> 00:02:50,347
and I'll get us a lot
of free stuff too.
68
00:02:50,349 --> 00:02:52,316
No, face it Roseanne,
you just don't have
69
00:02:52,318 --> 00:02:55,086
the skills that it takes
to represent this business.
70
00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:56,987
Oh, now, Leon,
I may not have
71
00:02:56,989 --> 00:02:59,857
your vast wealth
of business experience,
72
00:02:59,859 --> 00:03:02,793
nor your great willingness
to kiss butt,
73
00:03:02,795 --> 00:03:04,528
but I do have
something else.
74
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:06,596
Really? And what
might that be?
75
00:03:06,598 --> 00:03:08,598
Your nipple.
Ow!
76
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,535
♪♪ [theme]
77
00:04:29,847 --> 00:04:32,147
Okay, so what do you
think of these earrings?
78
00:04:32,149 --> 00:04:34,149
Oh, yeah,
that's much better!
79
00:04:34,151 --> 00:04:36,552
These are the exact
same ones I had on before.
80
00:04:36,554 --> 00:04:38,654
See, you're not paying
any attention at all.
81
00:04:38,656 --> 00:04:39,788
I am too!
82
00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:43,292
Holy cow, what are you
so dressed up for?
83
00:04:43,294 --> 00:04:45,695
'Cause I have to go
impress these businesswomen
84
00:04:45,697 --> 00:04:47,830
so I can use 'em
for contacts.
85
00:04:47,832 --> 00:04:50,966
Then later I can go back
to chewing tobacky
86
00:04:50,968 --> 00:04:54,169
and rolling up my hair
in soup cans.
87
00:04:54,171 --> 00:04:55,705
Hey.
88
00:04:55,707 --> 00:04:58,340
So did you make
many tips tonight,
89
00:04:58,342 --> 00:04:59,742
or won't you know
'til you
90
00:04:59,744 --> 00:05:01,744
shake out your
underpants?
91
00:05:04,415 --> 00:05:05,680
Hey, sweetheart.
92
00:05:05,682 --> 00:05:06,714
Hey, honey.
93
00:05:06,716 --> 00:05:08,216
Got to go.
I'm late for class.
94
00:05:08,218 --> 00:05:09,885
What time did you
get in last night?
95
00:05:09,887 --> 00:05:11,887
Mm, I don't know.
Either 10:00 or 11:00.
96
00:05:11,889 --> 00:05:14,990
We really should buy
a digital clock for the boy.
97
00:05:17,027 --> 00:05:18,360
Have a nice night.
98
00:05:21,131 --> 00:05:23,865
So...how you doing?
99
00:05:23,867 --> 00:05:25,134
Well, it sucks, Mom.
100
00:05:25,136 --> 00:05:26,434
I know he's
doing it for us,
101
00:05:26,436 --> 00:05:28,002
but he's at school
all night
102
00:05:28,004 --> 00:05:29,137
and I work all day.
103
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,105
We don't ever get
to talk anymore.
104
00:05:31,107 --> 00:05:32,407
Well, that's a shame
105
00:05:32,409 --> 00:05:33,841
'cause you're really
missing something.
106
00:05:33,843 --> 00:05:35,009
I mean, when you're
not around,
107
00:05:35,011 --> 00:05:37,446
the witty, insightful
things that come out
108
00:05:37,448 --> 00:05:39,847
of that boy's mouth you
just wouldn't believe.
109
00:05:39,849 --> 00:05:41,516
It's like the only time
we spend together
110
00:05:41,518 --> 00:05:43,351
is when he wakes me up
when he gets home.
111
00:05:43,353 --> 00:05:45,487
At least he's still
polite enough
112
00:05:45,489 --> 00:05:46,888
to wake you up first.
113
00:06:01,537 --> 00:06:05,306
Wow, the Chestnut Room
at the Ramada Inn.
114
00:06:05,308 --> 00:06:07,975
These broads have got
to be doing all right.
115
00:06:07,977 --> 00:06:11,212
The rooms here are
really nice too.
116
00:06:11,214 --> 00:06:12,779
I've heard.
117
00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:14,881
God, Nancy, what did
you dress like that for?
118
00:06:14,883 --> 00:06:16,383
This is a women's
business meeting.
119
00:06:16,385 --> 00:06:18,085
It's not a girl bar.
120
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,423
Roseanne,
you are so naive.
121
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:31,064
But...most of these
women are married.
122
00:06:31,066 --> 00:06:33,133
You are so naive.
123
00:06:34,803 --> 00:06:36,471
Hello, hello, ladies.
124
00:06:36,473 --> 00:06:38,738
I'm Lucille Lacompt.
I'm the greeter tonight.
125
00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:39,940
Entre vous.
126
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:43,176
Oh, well, that's French,
isn't it.
127
00:06:43,178 --> 00:06:46,212
French, the language
of...France.
128
00:06:49,918 --> 00:06:51,318
Well, it's certainly
nice talking to you,
129
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,986
and I'm sure we'll
get the chance
130
00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:54,454
to talk to you
again later.
131
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:55,823
Yes, let's do that.
132
00:06:55,825 --> 00:06:58,558
I think we did pretty
good there, Roseanne.
133
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,327
Oh, all these
stuck-up broads
134
00:07:00,329 --> 00:07:01,461
in business suits.
135
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,629
I should have
worn underwear.
136
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,733
There's a mens group
meeting across the hall.
137
00:07:06,735 --> 00:07:10,103
All right,
it's just a hassle
using birth control.
138
00:07:11,773 --> 00:07:13,073
We brought her,
139
00:07:13,075 --> 00:07:15,708
and I have to tell
everybody I'm married?
140
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,213
Hello.
Hello.
141
00:07:22,584 --> 00:07:24,984
Oh, Roseanne Conner.
142
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,620
You wouldn't be D.J.'s
mother, would you?
143
00:07:27,622 --> 00:07:29,556
Well, that depends.
What'd he do?
144
00:07:29,558 --> 00:07:32,259
You know, I think our sons
are in the same class.
145
00:07:32,261 --> 00:07:33,826
Ohh!
146
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,762
Oh, well,
of course they are.
147
00:07:35,764 --> 00:07:38,063
Yeah, D.J. talks
about him all the time.
148
00:07:38,065 --> 00:07:40,232
Just this morning
he was saying, uh,
149
00:07:40,234 --> 00:07:43,836
we don't see enough
of that Anderson kid.
150
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,070
Elijah.
151
00:07:45,072 --> 00:07:48,340
Elijah. That's such
a great name.
152
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,376
I've never seen you
at our meetings before.
153
00:07:50,378 --> 00:07:51,612
Do you work here
in town?
154
00:07:51,614 --> 00:07:55,047
Um, yeah,
I'm the proprietor
of the Lunch Box.
155
00:07:55,049 --> 00:07:57,282
Oh, you mean
Leon Carp's place.
156
00:07:57,284 --> 00:07:59,652
Uh, no.
157
00:07:59,654 --> 00:08:02,087
Actually, Leon
is just our waiter
158
00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:06,025
and we let him think
that he owns the place.
159
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,894
On Thursdays he
thinks he's the mayor.
160
00:08:08,896 --> 00:08:11,865
Well, you know how
all men like to think
161
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,900
they are the center
of the universe.
162
00:08:13,902 --> 00:08:16,301
I guess that's why
they call it the "sun,"
163
00:08:16,303 --> 00:08:18,537
and not the "daughter."
164
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,906
That is brilliant.
165
00:08:21,908 --> 00:08:23,475
You're certainly
a lot wittier
166
00:08:23,477 --> 00:08:25,911
than that French lady
we met at the door.
167
00:08:25,913 --> 00:08:28,547
Well, I do write
the newsletter.
168
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,148
Oh, you do.
Uh-huh.
169
00:08:30,150 --> 00:08:31,817
Uh, what line of work
are you in?
170
00:08:31,819 --> 00:08:33,852
Well, my family owns
a string of bakeries
171
00:08:33,854 --> 00:08:35,487
throughout
the entire state.
172
00:08:35,489 --> 00:08:37,356
Bakeries, huh?
173
00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:39,190
So I guess you would
make things like,
174
00:08:39,192 --> 00:08:41,527
I don't know, what,
hamburger buns?
175
00:08:41,529 --> 00:08:45,030
Oh, I love
that brooch, Flo.
176
00:08:45,032 --> 00:08:46,898
Why, thanks, Ro.
177
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,500
My husband
gave it to me.
178
00:08:48,502 --> 00:08:51,537
Well, either he did
something very bad
179
00:08:51,539 --> 00:08:53,171
or you did something
very good.
180
00:08:56,242 --> 00:08:57,442
Oh, you know, Ro,
181
00:08:57,444 --> 00:08:59,343
I bet you are just
full of the dickens.
182
00:08:59,345 --> 00:09:01,179
Oh, yes, I've got
the dickens just
183
00:09:01,181 --> 00:09:04,049
running right out
of my ears.
184
00:09:04,051 --> 00:09:05,416
Well, the meeting's
about to start.
185
00:09:05,418 --> 00:09:06,684
Maybe we can chat after.
186
00:09:06,686 --> 00:09:08,186
Oh, I can't wait.
187
00:09:09,288 --> 00:09:10,754
I got to hand it
to you, Roseanne.
188
00:09:10,756 --> 00:09:12,590
You were very pleasant
and personable.
189
00:09:12,592 --> 00:09:14,091
Yeah, it was fun too,
190
00:09:14,093 --> 00:09:16,294
although I know
I'll be sore tomorrow.
191
00:09:37,983 --> 00:09:40,250
Hey, can I
help you, buddy?
192
00:09:40,252 --> 00:09:41,619
Beer.
193
00:09:41,621 --> 00:09:43,086
I didn't know you
were working here.
194
00:09:43,088 --> 00:09:44,656
Ah, you know me.
195
00:09:44,658 --> 00:09:47,791
Eccentric millionaire
taking on odd jobs
196
00:09:47,793 --> 00:09:50,027
so he can mingle
with the common folk.
197
00:09:50,029 --> 00:09:51,563
That's what I like
about you, Chuck.
198
00:09:51,565 --> 00:09:52,730
You're not stuck-up.
199
00:09:52,732 --> 00:09:54,097
Not like our other
millionaire friend
200
00:09:54,099 --> 00:09:55,733
who works down
at the car wash.
201
00:09:59,205 --> 00:10:01,572
Whoa, what the hell
are you doing here?
202
00:10:01,574 --> 00:10:03,172
Oh, man.
203
00:10:03,174 --> 00:10:04,708
He comes in here
every night
204
00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:06,509
around 7:00.
205
00:10:09,747 --> 00:10:11,281
Mind if we talk?
206
00:10:11,283 --> 00:10:12,882
We'll have to keep
our voices down,
207
00:10:12,884 --> 00:10:14,050
this being
the library and all.
208
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:17,354
Just leave me
alone, Dan, will you?
209
00:10:17,356 --> 00:10:18,722
Why the hell aren't
you in class?
210
00:10:18,724 --> 00:10:20,257
I went a couple of times.
211
00:10:20,259 --> 00:10:22,158
It was just not
my thing, okay?
212
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,027
What do you mean,
it wasn't your thing?
213
00:10:24,029 --> 00:10:25,395
We gave you money
for school.
214
00:10:25,397 --> 00:10:27,130
We own your thing.
215
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,366
It just didn't work out,
so I quit.
216
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,734
What do you
want me to do?
217
00:10:31,736 --> 00:10:33,035
How 'bout showing
the family
218
00:10:33,037 --> 00:10:34,537
you've got this much
responsibility?
219
00:10:34,539 --> 00:10:35,705
Man, I can't believe
220
00:10:35,707 --> 00:10:38,207
I took your side
back at the house.
221
00:10:38,209 --> 00:10:40,008
Hey, I don't need you
on my side.
222
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:41,143
Wait a minute.
223
00:10:41,145 --> 00:10:43,347
You're not gonna tell
Becky or Mrs. Conner
224
00:10:43,349 --> 00:10:44,614
you saw me here,
are you?
225
00:10:44,616 --> 00:10:47,016
No...you are.
226
00:10:47,018 --> 00:10:49,019
Why don't you save them
the trouble
227
00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:50,386
and kill me right now?
228
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,688
Oh, come on, Mark,
229
00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:53,590
Roseanne's not
gonna kill you.
230
00:10:53,592 --> 00:10:55,024
Not with all
the questions
231
00:10:55,026 --> 00:10:57,761
surrounding the death
of Becky's first husband.
232
00:11:05,905 --> 00:11:09,739
So then Carol Collins,
you know, the pie lady,
233
00:11:09,741 --> 00:11:13,008
she ends up
leaving with Nancy.
234
00:11:15,012 --> 00:11:16,612
No way, Mom!
235
00:11:16,614 --> 00:11:18,681
I know that woman.
She's married.
236
00:11:18,683 --> 00:11:20,616
God, you're so naive.
237
00:11:22,419 --> 00:11:24,753
Hey, Mark,
how was it tonight?
238
00:11:24,755 --> 00:11:25,721
Tell 'em.
239
00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:28,691
I quit school.
240
00:11:28,693 --> 00:11:29,892
What!
241
00:11:29,894 --> 00:11:31,293
I went a couple
of times.
242
00:11:31,295 --> 00:11:32,428
It just didn't
work out.
243
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:33,596
I found him
at the Lobo.
244
00:11:33,598 --> 00:11:34,730
He's been there
every night.
245
00:11:34,732 --> 00:11:36,566
How could you do
something like this?
246
00:11:36,568 --> 00:11:38,401
See, I knew you
wouldn't be on my side.
247
00:11:38,403 --> 00:11:39,702
On your side?
248
00:11:39,704 --> 00:11:41,102
Why should I
be on your side?
249
00:11:41,104 --> 00:11:42,705
You've been lying
to me for weeks.
250
00:11:42,707 --> 00:11:44,507
Let's just talk
about this upstairs.
251
00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:47,576
No. I have nothing
to say to you.
252
00:11:47,578 --> 00:11:49,978
Becky, oh, you got
plenty to say to him,
253
00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:52,782
starting with,
"Get your butt
back to school!"
254
00:11:52,784 --> 00:11:55,117
I can't make him go.
I don't control him.
255
00:11:55,119 --> 00:11:57,085
What do you mean
you don't control him?
256
00:11:57,087 --> 00:11:59,087
You're his wife!
257
00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,822
But I still can't
make him go back.
258
00:12:00,824 --> 00:12:02,057
He doesn't even
listen to me.
259
00:12:02,059 --> 00:12:04,059
That's because you're
not yelling loud enough.
260
00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:05,627
I'm not so sure
261
00:12:05,629 --> 00:12:07,262
you should blame
her, Roseanne.
262
00:12:07,264 --> 00:12:08,630
Mark's got a mind
of his own.
263
00:12:08,632 --> 00:12:10,498
Well, I got
an exercise bike too,
264
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,701
but that don't mean
I'm ever gonna use it!
265
00:12:23,614 --> 00:12:25,213
Come on, Lucky.
266
00:12:25,215 --> 00:12:28,117
Come on out of that
coma for Luke and Laura.
267
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,221
Will Liz Taylor's
curse never end?
268
00:12:35,726 --> 00:12:37,225
[D.J.]
Sit there.
269
00:12:37,227 --> 00:12:39,192
Mom, this is Elijah.
270
00:12:39,194 --> 00:12:41,329
Hi.
Oh, hi!
271
00:12:41,331 --> 00:12:43,930
You must be
Florence's boy.
272
00:12:43,932 --> 00:12:45,166
Nice to meet you.
273
00:12:45,168 --> 00:12:47,402
Okay, I talked
to him at school,
274
00:12:47,404 --> 00:12:49,236
I brought him home
like you told me to,
275
00:12:49,238 --> 00:12:50,471
and now I'm done.
276
00:12:51,975 --> 00:12:53,474
Where are you going?
277
00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:55,142
Izzy Miller's house.
278
00:12:55,144 --> 00:12:57,344
D.J.... [snaps]
over here.
279
00:12:57,346 --> 00:12:58,846
[door closes]
280
00:12:58,848 --> 00:13:01,415
Now, you stop being
mean to Elijah,
and play with him.
281
00:13:01,417 --> 00:13:02,951
I can't.
He sings.
282
00:13:02,953 --> 00:13:05,618
What do you mean,
he sings?
283
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:08,255
He sings real quietly
to himself all the time.
284
00:13:08,257 --> 00:13:09,791
He never stops.
285
00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:11,492
I hate him, I hate him,
I hate him!
286
00:13:11,494 --> 00:13:13,028
D.J....
287
00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:14,963
you get ahold
of yourself now.
288
00:13:14,965 --> 00:13:16,396
You are gonna
play with him.
289
00:13:16,398 --> 00:13:17,497
He's a very nice boy.
290
00:13:17,499 --> 00:13:20,768
If you like him so much,
you play with him.
291
00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:27,507
♪ Puff the magic dragon
lived by the sea ♪
292
00:13:27,509 --> 00:13:29,509
Told you.
293
00:13:29,511 --> 00:13:35,081
♪ ...the autumn mist
in a land called Honah Lee ♪
294
00:13:35,083 --> 00:13:38,352
♪ Little
Jackie Pap-- ♪
295
00:13:39,921 --> 00:13:41,521
How come you stopped?
296
00:13:41,523 --> 00:13:43,023
Stopped what?
297
00:13:43,025 --> 00:13:44,123
Singing.
298
00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:45,892
I wasn't singing.
299
00:13:45,894 --> 00:13:48,762
Hey, D.J.,
who's your friend?
300
00:13:48,764 --> 00:13:51,331
Izzy Miller.
301
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,667
I know that, son,
but who's this boy?
302
00:13:53,669 --> 00:13:56,336
♪ We're off to see
the wizard... ♪
303
00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:58,437
[D.J.]
This is Elijah.
304
00:13:58,439 --> 00:14:02,041
What's he doing?
305
00:14:02,043 --> 00:14:03,943
Singing.
306
00:14:03,945 --> 00:14:06,012
How do you get
him to stop?
307
00:14:06,014 --> 00:14:09,415
♪ Because, because,
because, because ♪
308
00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:11,384
♪ Because... ♪
309
00:14:18,393 --> 00:14:21,494
So, Elijah...
310
00:14:21,496 --> 00:14:23,229
you like
to sing, huh?
311
00:14:23,231 --> 00:14:26,566
I wasn't singing.
312
00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:29,035
Yeah, Dan,
what's wrong with you?
313
00:14:30,505 --> 00:14:32,805
Am I staying
for dinner?
314
00:14:32,807 --> 00:14:34,306
Sure, if you'd
like to.
315
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:35,608
What are you having?
316
00:14:35,610 --> 00:14:38,410
Liver and boiled fish
317
00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:40,079
with liver sauce.
318
00:14:40,081 --> 00:14:42,848
I think I got
to go home now.
319
00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:44,517
Bummer.
320
00:14:46,488 --> 00:14:48,053
[door closes]
321
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:51,857
Oh, we've just got
to have that kid
over more often.
322
00:14:51,859 --> 00:14:54,994
Makes our other
kids less odd.
323
00:14:54,996 --> 00:14:57,295
I think every kid
on Earth looks less odd
324
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,699
next to Elijah Minnelli.
325
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:04,436
♪ Start spreading
the news ♪
326
00:15:04,438 --> 00:15:06,437
That's Elijah with a J.
327
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,441
Hey.
328
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,211
Shh!
Mark's reading.
329
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:14,746
Oh, well,
I hate to ruin
330
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,214
the end of it
for you, Mark,
331
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,850
but he eats
the green eggs and ham.
332
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:23,521
I'm studying
upstairs.
333
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:24,523
Don't pick
on him, Mom.
334
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:25,924
He's really doing it
this time.
335
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,959
We spent all day
working together.
336
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,427
I can't believe
how much he's learned.
337
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,230
Well, does this mean
we have to stop
spelling stuff out
338
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,031
that we don't want
him to know about?
339
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,201
I'm serious.
340
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:37,869
I mean, you were
right, Mom.
341
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,637
You can make husbands
do like anything.
342
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,674
You are catching on,
Mrs. Healy.
343
00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,576
Men need to be molded.
344
00:15:44,578 --> 00:15:48,313
Think of them not
as lumps of clay,
345
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:51,149
but...as lumps.
346
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,819
[belches]
347
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,756
Out of milk.
348
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:17,808
Well, hi,
Flo and Elijah!
349
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,144
Cool hats.
350
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,711
Thanks, Roseanne.
351
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,879
We biked over here
to talk to you
352
00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:24,481
about your son.
353
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,749
Well, he did something
354
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,884
that really upset
my Elijah.
355
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:30,954
Well, thank you
for telling me.
356
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,923
I will punish him
severely.
357
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:34,658
Well, don't you want
to know what he did?
358
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:37,795
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That'd be good.
359
00:16:40,098 --> 00:16:42,599
Well, yesterday,
in front of a large
group of children,
360
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:46,570
D.J. called him
Elijah Minnelli.
361
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,215
No, he didn't.
362
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:01,551
D.J., come out here!
363
00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:05,154
Children can be
so cruel.
364
00:17:05,156 --> 00:17:07,557
What?
365
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,358
I'm gonna pretend
like I'm yelling at you,
366
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,161
so just go along
with it.
Okay.
367
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,664
D.J., I'm going to
ask you a simple question,
368
00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:18,034
and I want a simple
answer, yes or no.
369
00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:21,471
Did you call him
Elijah Minnelli?
370
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:22,738
Yes, but you--
371
00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:23,906
Yes or no?
372
00:17:23,908 --> 00:17:25,908
Yes.
373
00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:29,145
Well, you really
hurt his feelings, D.J.
374
00:17:29,147 --> 00:17:31,013
As you know,
I did not raise you
375
00:17:31,015 --> 00:17:32,148
to be a name-caller.
376
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:33,383
That is mean.
377
00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:38,921
Tell him you're sorry.
378
00:17:38,923 --> 00:17:40,122
I'm sorry.
379
00:17:40,124 --> 00:17:41,291
That's okay.
380
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:42,591
You want to come
over tomorrow?
381
00:17:42,593 --> 00:17:44,292
Uh, no, I bet
I'm grounded.
382
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:45,828
You sure are.
383
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:47,162
See?
384
00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:51,434
All right, then.
385
00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:53,135
Thank you, Ro.
386
00:17:53,137 --> 00:17:54,571
I'll look forward
to seeing you
387
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:55,738
at the next
meeting.
388
00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:57,206
Me too, Flo.
389
00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:58,507
And don't you
worry about it,
390
00:17:58,509 --> 00:18:00,109
because I'm not
quite done
391
00:18:00,111 --> 00:18:01,509
talking to this
young man.
392
00:18:01,511 --> 00:18:04,047
Mom, I said
I was sorry!
393
00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:07,417
Well, sorry really
isn't good enough,
is it?
394
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,919
Come on, I'll change.
I promise I will.
395
00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:11,321
Please!
396
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:12,720
Please, I promise!
397
00:18:12,722 --> 00:18:15,091
That's what you say
every single time.
398
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,625
I will, I will.
[door closes]
399
00:18:16,627 --> 00:18:18,560
They're gone.
Let's go have
ice cream.
400
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:33,441
Hey, Mark.
401
00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:34,609
I made flash cards
402
00:18:34,611 --> 00:18:35,911
for the next
two chapters.
403
00:18:35,913 --> 00:18:37,746
Yeah? [chuckles]
We got our tests back.
404
00:18:37,748 --> 00:18:39,282
The only F
in the class.
405
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,481
They even posted
the grades
406
00:18:40,483 --> 00:18:41,749
where everybody
could see 'em.
407
00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:43,485
You proud of me?
408
00:18:43,487 --> 00:18:45,854
You studied for this.
I don't understand
how this could happen.
409
00:18:45,856 --> 00:18:47,055
You should never
have made me
410
00:18:47,057 --> 00:18:48,723
go to that damn school
in the first place.
411
00:18:48,725 --> 00:18:50,726
I didn't make you.
You wanted to go.
412
00:18:50,728 --> 00:18:52,560
Wrong. You never
even asked me.
413
00:18:52,562 --> 00:18:54,763
Then again, you don't
give a crap what I think.
414
00:18:54,765 --> 00:18:56,832
You never have.
415
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,399
Could you guys
start over again?
416
00:18:58,401 --> 00:19:01,370
I hate it when I miss
out on the beginning.
417
00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:04,571
Mrs. Conner, you always
thought I was stupid.
418
00:19:04,573 --> 00:19:05,908
Now, here's your proof.
419
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:07,909
Go ahead,
make your jokes.
420
00:19:09,546 --> 00:19:11,279
Well, it's really
not funny
421
00:19:11,281 --> 00:19:13,647
now that we know
it's true.
422
00:19:20,856 --> 00:19:23,292
In fact,
it's kind of sad.
423
00:19:23,294 --> 00:19:26,694
Or at least
not as funny.
424
00:19:26,696 --> 00:19:28,695
Mom, he's not stupid.
425
00:19:28,697 --> 00:19:30,397
He's just not good
at taking tests.
426
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:33,600
I think when you don't
know any of the answers
to any of the questions,
427
00:19:33,602 --> 00:19:35,437
you're not good
at taking tests.
428
00:19:35,439 --> 00:19:37,771
Yeah, but look here.
You spelled your name right.
429
00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:40,674
Although, it is the 15th.
430
00:19:40,676 --> 00:19:43,110
Mom, leave us alone.
431
00:19:43,112 --> 00:19:44,879
Oh, I'm just
teasing you, Mark.
432
00:19:44,881 --> 00:19:46,047
Everybody
gets an F.
433
00:19:46,049 --> 00:19:47,781
You're gonna do way
better next time.
434
00:19:47,783 --> 00:19:48,982
Oh, no, I won't.
435
00:19:48,984 --> 00:19:51,351
I'm dropping out.
436
00:19:51,353 --> 00:19:52,453
Becky.
437
00:19:52,455 --> 00:19:54,021
Mark, you're
going back.
438
00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:55,923
We both know it's
what's best for you.
439
00:19:55,925 --> 00:19:57,158
No, it's what's
best for you.
440
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,626
Why are you always
trying to change me?
441
00:19:58,628 --> 00:20:00,494
I'm not trying
to change you.
442
00:20:00,496 --> 00:20:02,362
I just want you to
realize you're not worthless.
443
00:20:03,799 --> 00:20:05,733
I never thought
I was worthless.
444
00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:07,234
That's not
what I meant.
445
00:20:07,236 --> 00:20:08,501
What are you doing?
446
00:20:08,503 --> 00:20:10,104
I'm gonna stay
at Roy's tonight.
Why?
447
00:20:10,106 --> 00:20:12,139
You're the great student.
You figure it out.
448
00:20:12,141 --> 00:20:13,273
Go find some
college boy
449
00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:14,741
who's got what
you want.
450
00:20:14,743 --> 00:20:16,910
Mark, wait!
451
00:20:16,912 --> 00:20:18,079
[door opens]
452
00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:20,180
[sighs]
453
00:20:20,182 --> 00:20:22,549
Well, Mother, I kept
pushing him like you said,
454
00:20:22,551 --> 00:20:23,817
and he left me.
455
00:20:23,819 --> 00:20:26,286
Congratulations,
you finally broke us up.
456
00:20:26,288 --> 00:20:27,687
Well, it doesn't count.
457
00:20:27,689 --> 00:20:29,123
I wasn't even trying.
458
00:20:36,265 --> 00:20:38,232
No, you guys
can't break up.
459
00:20:38,234 --> 00:20:39,399
Listen to me.
460
00:20:39,401 --> 00:20:41,568
I gave some advice
to my daughter,
461
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:43,637
and, okay, that kind of
blew up in my face,
462
00:20:43,639 --> 00:20:46,773
but trust me, you two
belong together.
463
00:20:46,775 --> 00:20:49,208
I don't know, Roseanne.
464
00:20:53,649 --> 00:20:56,149
We've been
through so much,
465
00:20:56,151 --> 00:20:58,351
and it just
gets harder.
466
00:20:58,353 --> 00:21:00,186
You wouldn't believe
the incredible drama
467
00:21:00,188 --> 00:21:02,689
that we're always
going through.
468
00:21:02,691 --> 00:21:04,323
Oh, wouldn't I?
469
00:21:04,325 --> 00:21:06,659
Dan, come out here!
470
00:21:06,661 --> 00:21:08,627
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What the--
471
00:21:08,629 --> 00:21:10,262
Oh, yes, dear?
472
00:21:10,264 --> 00:21:11,898
I'd like to
introduce you
473
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,532
to somebody
famous.
474
00:21:13,534 --> 00:21:18,171
Oh, man, this is
a real honor.
475
00:21:18,173 --> 00:21:19,371
Think Paul Simon and you
476
00:21:19,373 --> 00:21:20,573
will ever get back
together again?
477
00:21:25,746 --> 00:21:26,912
Oh, no.
478
00:21:26,914 --> 00:21:29,648
Uh, no, we're
Luke and Laura
479
00:21:29,650 --> 00:21:31,217
from General
Hospital.
480
00:21:31,219 --> 00:21:34,153
I'm sorry.
I'm a Guiding Light man.
481
00:21:35,490 --> 00:21:37,323
They were telling me
about all the trouble
482
00:21:37,325 --> 00:21:38,424
they're having
in their marriage,
483
00:21:38,426 --> 00:21:40,125
so I thought you
should tell 'em
484
00:21:40,127 --> 00:21:41,694
some of the stuff
we've been through.
485
00:21:41,696 --> 00:21:43,296
I don't know
where to start.
486
00:21:43,298 --> 00:21:45,398
Last year
I lost my job,
487
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,031
my daughter ran off,
488
00:21:47,033 --> 00:21:49,801
sister-in-law
got beat up,
489
00:21:49,803 --> 00:21:51,404
I got thrown
in jail,
490
00:21:51,406 --> 00:21:53,539
Roseanne's
dad died...
491
00:21:56,209 --> 00:21:58,209
Seems like
every week
492
00:21:58,211 --> 00:22:00,178
something else
is happening to us.
493
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:02,848
It seems like it
happens again
494
00:22:02,850 --> 00:22:04,783
in the summer too.
495
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,154
Well, he got
in a fight
496
00:22:09,156 --> 00:22:11,022
with my ex-husband
on our wedding day.
497
00:22:11,024 --> 00:22:12,123
Well, that was
only because
498
00:22:12,125 --> 00:22:13,325
you didn't make sure
499
00:22:13,327 --> 00:22:16,295
that stupid Mexican
divorce from him
was legal.
500
00:22:16,297 --> 00:22:17,830
Well, our daughter,
Becky,
501
00:22:17,832 --> 00:22:19,364
left home for
a year and a half,
502
00:22:19,366 --> 00:22:21,699
and when she came back
we barely recognized her.
503
00:22:26,073 --> 00:22:28,073
But the most
important thing
504
00:22:28,075 --> 00:22:30,741
is we've stuck
together.
505
00:22:30,743 --> 00:22:33,611
Now, you two still love
each other, don't you?
506
00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:35,746
[dramatic music plays]
Well...
507
00:22:35,748 --> 00:22:39,049
I did really miss you
those two years
508
00:22:39,051 --> 00:22:40,751
that I was abducted
and held captive
509
00:22:40,753 --> 00:22:41,985
on that island.
510
00:22:43,524 --> 00:22:45,624
And I'll never forget
the good times we had
511
00:22:45,626 --> 00:22:49,160
saving the world
from Mikkos Cassadine's
evil weather machine.
512
00:22:49,162 --> 00:22:51,463
[General Hospital
theme plays]
513
00:22:51,465 --> 00:22:54,432
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA