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Welcome to the Daily Show

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I'm Trevor Noah.

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This is The Daily Show.
We're coming to you live.

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100% live.

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Take a seat,
let's do this thing.

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We're completely live, people.
I can prove that we're live.

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Think of a number.

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I'm thinking of the same one.

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All right, the South Carolina
Democratic presidential debate

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has just wrapped up,
and, guys,

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it was a little crazy.

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Tom, I think she was talking
about my plan, not yours.

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PETE BUTTIGIEG: I think we were
talking about math,

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-and it doesn't take two hours
to do the math. -No, no. Well,

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-let's talk about math.
-'Cause let's talk about

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-what it adds up to.
-Let's talk about math.

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-You wrote the crime bill
-Where we come from

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-that you called... -that's
called the Tommy-come-lately.

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-You didn't write that bill. I
wrote that bill. -I did write...

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-I wrote the bill. The Violence
Against Women Act. -Okay,

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-you did that. -It took out of
the hands of people

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-who abused their wife...
-Okay, we'll have a fact check.

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-No, let's look at the fact
check. -Oh, my goodness.

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-Can I respond to the... -Doing
nothing is what will happen.

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-Senator Sanders, you're allowed
a quick response -(chatter)

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and then we would like to allow

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-Listen to the moderator, guys.
-the other candidates...

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Here's the deal.
I'm not out of time.

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He spoke over time
and I'm gonna talk.

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Damn!
(whoops)

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Yeah, it was wild tonight.
I haven't seen white people

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go at each other that hard

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since khakis were on sale
at Banana Republic.

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It was crazy tonight.
But the truth is

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it's not surprising
that the debate got that hot,

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because the stakes
could not be higher, people.

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This debate is the last one

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before the South Carolina
primary this weekend.

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And remember, a few days
after that is Super Tuesday.

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That's when 14 states
all hold their primaries

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at the same time.
And they do it at the same time

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because they got a deal
on Groupon.

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So every candidate tonight
needed to do well.

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But there was one candidate who
needed it more than anyone else.

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Former New York mayor--
and the only candidate

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not allowed
to ride a rollercoaster--

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Michael Bloomberg.

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MALE REPORTER: The debate
was a disaster for Bloomberg.

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Michael Bloomberg, who had
a pretty horrible first debate,

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I think that's
a fair statement, right?

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Bloomberg was awful.

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Michael Bloomberg
fell flat on his face.

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When Mike Bloomberg
was in the last debate-- whoa!

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If you're Mike Bloomberg,
you were so bad

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at that first debate,
it's g... it doesn't matter

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how much money you're spending.

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MALE REPORTER 2: He got hammered
in front of 20 million viewers.

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Yes, Michael Bloomberg
was so bad at that first debate

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he got slammed by everyone.
CNN, NBC, Fox,

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even The Bachelor. Yeah.
Last night, Pete told Maddie...

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He was like,
"Listen, I know I messed up,

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"but not as bad as Bloomberg
messed up at the debate.

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I mean, come on.
Gimme a chance."

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So, Mike Bloomberg was praying
for an easier debate this time,

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but it doesn't
seem like it worked,

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because right from the start,

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Bloomberg was already
on the back foot.

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Senator Sanders, we haven't had
a national unemployment rate

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this low for this long
in 50 years.

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Here in South Carolina the
unemployment rate is even lower.

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How will you convince voters
that a democratic socialist

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can do better than President
Trump with the economy?

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Well, you're right, the economy
is doing really great

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for people like Mr. Bloomberg
and other billionaires.

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Oh!

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I feel bad for Bloomberg.

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The question
wasn't even about him.

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He's just minding his business
over there,

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and out of nowhere...
Like, he must be

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the first billionaire in history
to get hit in a drive-by.

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That's never happened.

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And Bernie
didn't give him a chance.

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Like, he doesn't mess around.
If Bernie was a boxer,

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he'd be the kind of boxer

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that would hit you in the
locker room before the fight.

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Just come in and be like,
"It was gonna happen either way.

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I'll see you out there.
Boom. Come on."

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Now, if Bernie Sanders
was the ass-whupping appetizer,

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Elizabeth Warren
brought the main course.

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You know who's gonna
be in Charleston later this week

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is Donald Trump.
Uh, he's gonna be here

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to raise money for his buddy,
Senator Lindsey Graham.

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Who funded Lindsey Graham's

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campaign for reelection
last time?

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It was Mayor Bloomberg.

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He dumped 12 million dollars

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into the Pennsylvania
senate race

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to help reelect an anti-choice

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right-wing Republican senator.

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In 2012, he scooped in
to try to defend

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another Republican senator

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against a woman challenger.

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That was me.

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It didn't work,
but he tried hard.

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(crowd cheering, applauding)

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-Aah!
-(cheering, whooping, applause)

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Oh, goddamn it, I can't watch,

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but I got to watch.

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Man, when it comes to Bloomberg,
Elizabeth Warren is relentless.

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She destroyed him
in the first debate.

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She came after him again
tonight.

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I bet
when he got in his car later,

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she just popped up
in the backseat like,

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"Oh, and another thing..."

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So, Bernie kicked off the debate

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by attacking Bloomberg and
his fellow billionaires, right?

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Then Senator Warren came in,

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slamming Bloomberg
for bankrolling Republicans.

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And if Bloomberg was worried
that he was coming across

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as a corrupt billionaire,

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it really didn't help him

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when he made
a really bad slip of the tongue.

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Let's just go on the record.
They talk about 40 Democrats.

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21 of those were people
that I spent $100 million

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to help elect.

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The-- All of the new Democrats
that came in

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put Nancy Pelosi in charge
and gave the Congress

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the ability to control
this president,

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I bou-- I-I got them.

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(gasping, laughter)

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That's embarrassing.

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That's not a good look.

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"There are a ton of Democratic
candidates that I bought--

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"I mean, that I own--
I mean, that I pai--

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"I mean, that I bribed.
That's poor people's words.

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"That I supported.
That I supported.

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That I supported."

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(applause)

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So, Bloomberg didn't do himself
any favors with that answer.

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And for two reasons:
one, money and politics

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is one of the things
that most people are angry about

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in this country.
And, secondly,

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you probably shouldn't brag

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about buying people
in South Carolina.

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So, it looks like Bloomberg
is gonna keep reminding us

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every single debate how much
money he's able to spend.

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And I guess
Pete Buttigieg's strategy

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is to keep reminding us that he
would like some money to spend.

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Grassroots contributions are
the lifeblood of my campaign.

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In fact, I shouldn't miss
the opportunity.

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If you're watching right now
and you support my campaign...

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-(laughter, cheering)
-...go to PeteForAmerica.com

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and chip in.

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And if you're watching right now
and you're a billionaire,

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I will raise your taxes.

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But if you'd like
to defeat Donald Trump,

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please go to PeteForAmerica.com

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and donate the legal maximum
of $2,800.

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You see, folks,

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that's what happens when you let
a teenager join the debate.

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They stop talking about policy,

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and they ask you
to raise their allowance.

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And then, after that,
he asked Gayle King

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to drop him at home
after the debate.

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"Please, my dad canceled
my Uber account!"

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Now, as weird as that moment
may have been,

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one of the strangest moments
of the night

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easily belonged
to Amy Klobuchar.

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You see, in the discussion
in and around gun control,

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everyone was trying to position
themselves as the person

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who could get
gun control passed.

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Now, she was trying
to position herself

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as the one Democrat
who is for limiting guns

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but also understands gun culture

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thanks to a really special
family member.

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We've got to win
in the middle of the country.

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Having someone
that can lead the ticket,

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that can bring people with her

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is the way you get
gun safety legislation.

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-Senator Klobuchar... -I look
at these proposals and say,

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"Do they hurt my Uncle Dick
in the deer stand?

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They do not."

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(laughter)

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"Uncle Dick in the deer stand"?

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And where's Aunt Vagina,
in the beaver hut?

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(laughter)

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-(applause)
-I...

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I feel like...

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I feel like even Uncle Dick
was sitting at home,

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watching that, like,
"I think, at a debate,

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"you can call me Richard. I...

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It's a very serious moment."

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I will say though,
Senator Klobuchar,

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that is a great campaign slogan,
if you think of it.

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Just like,
"Leave that dick alone."

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That's ten percent
of the vote right there.

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Now, you have to remember,

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this debate
was in South Carolina, right,

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the first state
where black voters hold sway.

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So all the candidates made sure
to show everyone

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that they were down
with the brown.

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Every single policy area
in the United States

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has a gigantic subtext of race.

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We have
a criminal justice system today

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that is not only broken,
it is racist.

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We can no longer pretend
that everything is race-neutral.

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There are seven white people
on this stage

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talking about racial justice.

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And I know that if I were black,

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my success would have been
a lot harder to achieve.

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-(gasping, laughter) -"Yes,
that's right. That's right.

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"If I was black,
I wouldn't have gotten this far

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"because my police would have
slammed me against the wall

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"and frisked me.

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"And then I would have said,
"'Wait, it's me!'

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"And they would have said,
'Shut up, Blackie!'

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"And then they'd search
my pockets and be like,

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"'Whose $60 billion is this?'

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"And I'd be like, 'It's mine
from when I was white!'

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'We've heard that before!'"

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(chuckles)
I'm not gonna lie, man.

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The Democrats did have some
interesting ideas around race.

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It was really interesting
to hear them talk about it.

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I wish they would talk about it
more. Tom Steyer proposed

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funding black business owners,
specifically,

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Latino business owners, people
who have been disenfranchised.

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Amy Klobuchar talked
about fair housing.

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Pete Buttigieg talked about
the struggles black people have.

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It was great to hear.
But once the white privilege

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PowerPoint presentation
of the evening was done,

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it was time
to get to the main event,

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going after Bernie Sanders.

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Can Americans trust that
a Democratic socialist president

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will not give authoritarians
a free pass?

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I have opposed authoritarianism
all over the world.

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What I said is what Barack Obama
said in terms of Cuba,

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that Cuba made progress
on education.

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Barack Obama was abroad.
He was in a town meeting.

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He did not in any way suggest

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that there was anything positive
about the Cuban government.

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-Authoritarianism of any stripe
is bad. -Period.

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But that is different
than saying

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that governments occasionally do
things that are good.

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00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:03,036
And when dictatorships,
whether it is the Chinese

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or the Cubans,
do something good,

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00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,574
you acknowledge that.

247
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,442
Okay, now, to be fair,

248
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,245
to be fair,
I think people have been...

249
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,315
a-a little too hard
on Bernie on this, right?

250
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,783
The Fidel Castro thing,
especially,

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00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,451
because all he's saying
is something

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00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,119
that Barack Obama
also alluded to,

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00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,122
that Fidel Castro,
as bad as he was,

254
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,724
did some good things,
like education. That's it.

255
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,260
You know? Think of it like
the Count from Sesame Street.

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00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,129
Just because you commend him
for teaching kids math

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00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,165
doesn't mean you're condoning
the fact that he's a vampire

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00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:34,901
who sucks the life out
of untold numbers of people.

259
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,036
"How many dead drifters
in the alley?

260
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,205
"One, two, three dead drifters!

261
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,407
Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

262
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:44,677
But, at the same time,

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00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,880
Bernie, you have to admit,

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00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,382
when people ask you
about Castro,

265
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:53,653
that's not the best time to
mention his record on education.

266
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,522
It's bad timing, right?

267
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,457
If your wife is yelling at you,
saying,

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00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,993
"I can't believe you cheated on
me with all those ugly women,"

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00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,862
that's not the time to be like,
"Some of them were beautiful.

270
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,864
Some of them
were really beautiful!"

271
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,367
That's not the time.

272
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,905
And that wasn't the only attack
that Bernie had to face.

273
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,973
Because, you see,
now that he's the frontrunner,

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00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:17,110
he has everyone else
gunning for him.

275
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:20,246
Vladimir Putin thinks that
Donald Trump should be president

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00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,715
of the United States,
and that's why Russia is helping

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00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:25,785
-you get elected, so you'll lose
to him. -Oh, Mr. Bloomberg.

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00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,987
I am not looking forward
to a scenario

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00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:30,323
where it comes down
to Donald Trump,

280
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,826
with his nostalgia for
the social order of the 1950s,

281
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:35,762
and Bernie Sanders,
with a nostalgia

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00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:38,097
for the revolutionary politics
of the 1960s.

283
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:40,733
Bernie, in fact,
hasn't passed much of anything.

284
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:44,137
I do not think that this is the
best person to lead the ticket.

285
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,606
I think I would make
a better president than Bernie.

286
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,275
I-I'm-I'm hearing my name
mentioned a little bit tonight.

287
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,443
(laughter)

288
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,415
Yo, Bernie's a legend, man,

289
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,517
because your name
wasn't being mentioned, Bernie.

290
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,519
People were screaming it at you.

291
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,354
Although, I guess, for him,
shouting is so normal

292
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,722
that when people shout at him,
he's like,

293
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,191
"What a pleasant conversation
for a change!

294
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:08,394
I'm so sick
of everyone whispering!"

295
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:12,432
Yeah, people's normal voices
are like ASMR to him.

296
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,666
Now, look, it's not surprising.

297
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,201
It's not surprising
that this happened.

298
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,270
It's not surprising
that all the moderates went

299
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,238
after Bernie Sanders tonight,
all right?

300
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,474
Because what's clear
in this campaign is that

301
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,977
as long as so many moderates
stay in the race,

302
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,346
none of them are gonna overtake
Bernie Sanders.

303
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,814
So they're going after him,

304
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,283
but-but they're splitting
the vote amongst themselves.

305
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,752
The only way one of them
is going to be able

306
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,154
to beat Bernie is
if all the other ones drop out.

307
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,624
The problem is
that none of them can seem

308
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,159
to agree
on who that person should be.

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00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,694
WOMAN: Some of these candidates
are going

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00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,062
to have to start dropping out.

311
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:45,932
People like Amy Klobuchar,
people like Tom Steyer.

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00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,100
The Buttigieg campaign
is calling

313
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,268
on Mike Bloomberg
to drop out of the race.

314
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,571
This comes after a Bloomberg
campaign memo suggested

315
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,974
that Biden, Buttigieg
and Klobuchar actually drop out.

316
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,110
Of course
I think it would be beneficial

317
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,112
if everybody else were
to drop out

318
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,880
and support, say, my campaign.

319
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,181
How do you convince
Amy Klobuchar

320
00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,117
and Pete Buttigieg
to get out of the race?

321
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,518
It's really time now
for Klobuchar

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00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,719
to get out of the race.

323
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,454
I have the third biggest number,

324
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,857
um, so, why would I get out?

325
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,526
Yeah. Everyone knows
someone has to leave,

326
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,029
but nobody wants
to be the one to do it.

327
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,331
You know, it's like
a super high-stakes version

328
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,166
of being the first one
to hang up.

329
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,934
It's just like,
"You drop out first."

330
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,770
"No, you drop out first."

331
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:26,072
"No, you drop out first."
"No, you drop out."

332
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,840
"Look, I spent half a billion
dollars on this campaign!

333
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,243
-You drop out first!"
-(laughter)

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00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,778
So, look, it seems like

335
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:34,714
as long as all the moderates
decide to stay in the race,

336
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,582
Bernie is gonna have
a pretty clear path

337
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,518
to win the nomination,

338
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,887
and it seems like
Bernie realizes it.

339
00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:43,890
I mean, just based
on his new campaign ads.

340
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,125
Hi. I'm Bernie Sanders.

341
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:47,427
I know the pundits are saying

342
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,062
there's too many moderates
in this race,

343
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:51,230
but I think all of you
are doing a great job.

344
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:53,466
Amy Klobuchar,
why would you drop out?

345
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,134
You came in third
that one time!

346
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,636
That's what I call momentum.

347
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,639
And Mayor Pete, if anyone says
you should drop out,

348
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,607
you tell them
to go to hell in one

349
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,476
of the seven languages
you sort of speak.

350
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:07,880
(speaking foreign language)

351
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,849
Oh, and Mayor Bloomberg,
keep spending

352
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,017
all your money on those ads.

353
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,119
If there's two things
Americans love,

354
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,421
it's you
and watching commercials.

355
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,290
And Tom Steyer...

356
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,292
you should quit
and stop calling me.

357
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,660
It's getting creepy!

358
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,195
I'm Bernie Sanders,

359
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,565
and I endorse everyone staying
in this race!

360
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:27,834
All right, everybody.
We'll be right back.

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00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,836
(cheers and applause)