m 667.75 388.26 l 291.95 388.41 292.58 104.84 b 292.58 97.75 297.96 92 304.6 92 l 656.4 92 b 663.04 92 667.75 98.11 667.75 105.2
m 667.67 389.78 l 482.07 201.48 291.88 389.93 292.5 104.91 b 292.5 97.78 297.89 92 304.53 92 l 656.33 92 b 662.97 92 667.67 98.14 667.67 105.27
m 656.33 92 l 304.53 92 b 297.89 92 292.5 97.78 292.5 104.91 l 291.88 389.93 667.67 389.78 667.67 105.27 b 667.67 98.14 662.97 92 656.33 92 m 656.04 103 b 656.28 103.32 656.67 104.11 656.67 105.27 l 656.67 378.79 302.9 378.93 303.5 104.91 b 303.5 103.67 304.23 103 304.53 103 l 656.04 103
m 291.97 378.76 l 667.75 379 667.67 456 b 667.67 462.63 661.32 467.35 654.7 467.35 l 303.7 467.35 b 297.07 467.35 291.88 462 291.88 455.38
DN字幕組
m 979 535.5 l 956.125 526.625 900.375 504.75 b 891 501.125 881.625 497.25 872.5 493.625 l 844.5 482.5 816.75 471.25 788.875 459.875 761.125 448.875 742 440.875 753.375 458.75 769.625 484.25 785.75 510 801.75 535.75 784 511 766.5 486.125 749.125 461.125 732 436.375 726.75 428.625 735.5 432 763.625 442.375 791.875 453 820.125 463.5 848.125 474.125 876.125 485 b 885.625 488.375 895 491.875 904.25 495.5 l 938.125 508.75 890.875 460.625 859.25 428.125 843.375 411.75 827.75 395.375 796.125 362.75 765 329.75 733.75 296.75 718.5 280.125 703 263.5 719.625 279.125 736 294.875 768.75 326.375 801.25 358.125 833.75 390.125 849.75 406 865.875 421.875 898.125 454.125 962 518.375
m 419.75 535.25 b 430.25 534.5 440.5 533.625 450.875 532.375 461.25 531.125 471.625 529.75 481.875 528 492.25 526.625 502.25 524.875 512.5 522.75 522.875 520.875 532.875 518.625 543 516.25 552.875 513.875 563 511.125 572.875 508.25 582.75 505.125 592.5 502 602 498.375 611.75 495 621 491 630.375 486.875 639.5 482.5 648.5 477.75 657.125 472.625 665.625 467.375 673.875 461.875 681.5 455.625 685.5 452.5 689.125 449.375 692.75 446 694.375 444.25 696.125 442.375 697.75 440.625 698.5 440 699.5 439 700.25 438 l 701.5 436.625 702.125 435.875 702.25 435.625 b 702.375 435.625 702.25 435.625 702.25 435.625 l 702.25 435.625 702.625 435.125 b 715.125 420.5 724.5 403.375 728.375 385.125 730.25 375.875 730.875 366.75 730.125 357.375 729.5 348 727.5 338.875 724.5 329.75 721.5 320.875 717.375 312.125 712.75 303.75 710.25 299.625 707.625 295.5 704.875 291.5 703.5 289.5 702.125 287.625 700.625 285.625 699.875 284.75 699.125 283.75 698.375 283 697.625 282.125 696.625 281.125 696.125 280.375 l 707.625 280.875 689.875 297 672.25 313.125 636.5 345.125 618.625 361.25 600.625 377.375 564.875 409.125 b 553 420 540.875 430.5 528.75 441.125 l 510.875 457 492.75 472.625 474.625 488.625 456.375 504.25 438 519.875 m 419.75 535.25 l 436.75 518.375 453.75 501.5 470.75 484.75 487.875 467.875 505.125 451.25 522.5 434.375 b 533.875 423.375 545.25 412.25 557 401.25 l 591.75 368.25 609.125 351.625 626.5 335.25 661.375 302.25 678.875 285.875 696.5 269.5 702.375 264 708 270 b 709.125 271.25 709.875 272.25 710.875 273.125 711.75 274.375 712.5 275.375 713.5 276.25 715.125 278.5 716.625 280.625 718.25 282.75 721.25 287.125 724.25 291.5 726.875 296 732.125 305.125 736.625 315 740.125 324.875 743.5 335 745.75 345.625 746.5 356.25 747.25 367 746.5 377.875 744.25 388.25 741.875 398.75 737.875 408.875 732.875 418.25 727.875 427.875 721.25 436.625 714.25 444.5 l 714 445 713.5 445.5 712.875 446.25 711.625 447.375 b 710.625 448.375 709.875 449.375 708.75 450.25 706.875 452.25 705 454.125 703 456.125 699.125 459.625 695 463 690.875 466.375 682.25 472.875 673.5 478.75 664.125 484 655 489 645.5 493.875 635.625 498 625.875 502 616 505.625 606.125 509 596 512.375 585.875 515.25 575.625 517.625 565.375 520.375 555.125 522.5 544.875 524.375 534.625 526.375 524.125 528 513.625 529.5 503.375 530.875 492.875 532.125 482.5 533.125 472 533.75 461.625 534.5 451.125 535 440.625 535.5 430.25 535.5 419.75 535.25
m 281 373.49 l 470 191.99 b 470 191.99 522.27 249.72 474 307.24 420.01 371.58 281 373.49 281 373.49
組長 Mr.Ding 初校 遠辰 後期 納什男爵 遠辰
特約翻譯 Galigeigei 翻譯 也許天曉得 大言言 少年火山君
實習翻譯 藕肥 Skye 清蒸蟹老闆 南極料理人 眼底檢查 熊貓
超級騎警
[肱二頭肌=槍 意思是他的肱二頭肌很大]
[嘲笑加拿大人經常說對不起]
[嘲笑加拿大人英語裏面夾法語]
[加拿大握手:男性互相給對方手淫]
州警察
福斯特 主唱 貝斯
桑尼 吉他手
邁克 鼓手
拉比特 吉他手
大爆炸妓院
你知道你剛才時速是多少嗎 Do you know how fast you were going?
不 我不太清楚 長官 No, I don't, Officer.
把廣播關了 Turn that radio off, please.
那不是廣播 那是樂隊在排練 That's not the radio. That's the band practicing.
你們抽大麻了嗎 Is that marijuana?
你們是不是有大麻壺 You got a party bowl up there?
嗯 沒呀 Mm, nah.
沒關係 沒事兒的 有沒有好料 It's okay, it's okay. Is it good?
有啊 Mm.
好極了 把車門打開 要不然我就給你丫帶走 Yeah. Open it up! I'm fucking boarding you!
條子 條子上車了 5-0! 5-0 coming on board.
長官 你不能就這麼跳上車來 Officer, you can't just waltz on in here!
你知道車上都是些什麼人嗎 Do you know who these guys are?
把電給我拔了 Unplug this shit right now.
不可能 No way.
真的假的 No fucking way.
真要命 Holy shit!
你們就是高速巡警 You guys are the highway cops
被上級叫停之後變成片兒警的那群人 that got shut down and became local cops.
然後又因為什麼"瘋狂"的鳥事... Then due to some kinda crazy "Incident"...
又被警局趕出來了 you got kicked off of that force,
然後就開始玩兒音樂 so you started playing music.
然後又以迅雷不及掩耳的速度贏得了美國達人秀冠軍 And before you knew it, you won America's Got Talent.
你們就是脆皮培根 You're Cracklin' Bacon!
多麼神奇的經歷啊 What a long, strange trip it's been.
我是你們的鐵粉 I love you guys!
噢 我得把我搭檔喊來 Oh, I gotta tell my partner.
他肯定不敢相信 好的 等著 He's not gonna believe this! Okay, hold on.
-哥們兒 現在就過來 趕緊的 -收到 -Dude, you gotta get over here right now. -Copy.
他會驚訝死的 He's gonna shit his pants.
你知道怎麼做才好玩嗎 You know what would be hilarious?
等他上來之後 When he comes on the bus,
你給他褲襠狠狠來一腳 kick him in the nuts as hard as you can.
-當真的嗎 -你使勁兒踢 -Really? -Just drill the guy!
這兒什麼情況 What the hell is going on in here?
噢 老天爺 脆皮培根 Oh, my God! You're Cracklin' Bacon!
你們是我最愛的樂隊了 You guys are my favorite band, like, ever!
扯啥 要不是我給你放他們的歌兒… What? You didn't even know who Cracklin' Bacon was...
你知道脆皮培根是誰 until I played them for you.
瞎說 我早就知道 Yeah, I did!
是嗎 那你最喜歡哪首歌 Oh, really? What's your favorite song?
"手撕豬肉" "Pulled Pork."
-行啊 那歌是怎麼唱的 -Yeah? How does it go then?
我會像吃掉手撕豬肉三明治一樣吃掉你 I'm gonna eat youlike a pulled pork sandwich
像熱騰騰的牛排一樣放進麵包里 Get inside your bread like a hot steak Manwich
這傢伙底氣挺足啊 This guy's got some pipes!
嘿 你想不想加入我們脆皮培根 Hey, how would you like to join Cracklin' Bacon?
我們需要找個新主唱 We're looking for a new lead singer.
真的嗎 Holy shit!
先等會兒 我比他唱的還好 Yeah, oh, I can do it better than him.
我會像吃掉手撕豬肉三明治一樣吃掉你 I'm gonna eat youlike a pulled pork sandwich
像成龍一樣功夫了得 Kung Fu you like a Jackie Chan-wich
不賴嘛 Not bad.
你們歌兒唱的還行 You guys clearly have the sound.
但是你們會跳舞嗎 來一段兒 But do you have the moves? Hit it.
揮拳舞 Fist-pumps!
扭臀舞 Pelvic thrusts.
把屁股扭起來 Shake your tail feathers.
扭起來 Shake that ass.
然後來個親親 Now kiss each other.
啊 你說啥 I'm sorry. Come again?
快啊 搖滾啊 搖滾啊 寶貝兒 Come on, rock and roll! Rock and roll, baby!
-快點兒 -快親他 -Do it! -Kiss him!
親親 親親 親親 親親 Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!
我就知道你們逗我倆呢 I knew you were fucking with us.
你們在逗我倆 夥計們 You're fucking with us, man!
好了 好了 看起來你們 All right, all right. You guys clearly have
還挺有搖滾細胞的 what it takes for rock and roll.
但是我們還有一項終極測試 But there's one more test you gotta pass
來決定你們能不能加入脆皮培根 before we let you join Cracklin' Bacon.
我們需要看看你倆能不能滿足露西汁汁 We wanna know if you can keep up with Juicy Lucy.
我看她就挺多汁的 She looks pretty juicy to me.
噢 不 露西汁汁在後面了好嗎 Oh, no, she's in the back, okay?
我可提醒你倆 她還挺纏人的 But I warn you, she can be quite a handful.
那咱們就去和她纏一纏 Let's go handle that!
露西汁汁 露西汁汁 露西汁汁 Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy!
這兒馬上就要汁水氾濫了 About to get juicy up in here!
嘿 寶貝 Hey, baby.
哈嘍 露西汁汁 Hello, Juicy Lucy.
噢 那不是露西 露西更辣 Oh, that's not Lucy. Lucy's better.
噢 好傢伙 Oh, man!
夥計們 在這扇門後面的就是 Fellas, on the other side of this door
永恆的名望和光芒 is everlasting fame and glory.
你來逼逼我來咪咪 You get the giney, I'll get the hiney.
來和露西打個招呼吧 Say hello to Lucy!
不跑就被抓 我們啟程啦 Move it or lose it! It's time to cruise it!
走嘍 Let's do it!
操你媽 Motherfucker!
-這群狗屎蛋兒 -太垃圾了 -Son-of-a-bitch! -Crap damnit!
我們唱的多投入 多用心 We sang our hearts off for those guys. Our hearts!
條子跟上來了 We got company.
我要把你們繩之以法 狗屎們 Can't outrun the law, motherfucker!
去你的脆皮培根 Fuck you, Cracklin' Bacon!
哇吼 Whoa!
噢 我去 Oh, shit!
王八蛋 Motherfucker.
嘗嘗 子彈 嘗嘗 這個 Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it.
啊 Ah.
好好舔舔我的子彈 狗屎 Suck these fucking bullets, bitch!
噢 完 邁克 嘿 看著我 看著我 Oh, shit! Mac. Hey, stay with me. Stay with me.
我們差點就讓這倆臭條子... We almost got those stupid cops...
-...撞上了 -啊我去 -...to kiss. -Shit.
那是啥 What's that?
我勒個... What the...
哇啊 Whoa!
我去的 Shit!
嘿 Hey.
我還是挺喜歡他們 I still love those guys.
可不 他們太帥了 Yeah, they're cool as hell.
瞧瞧他的帥樣兒 I mean, look at him.
還是那麼酷 Still cool.
我覺得咱們還是得把屍體藏一下 We should probably hide that body, though.
有道理 Yeah.
嘿 車開的不錯 托恩 Hey, great driving, Thorn!
小托 小托 Thorny? Thorny?
噢 老天 他死啦 Oh, my God! He's dead!
-噢 不 -哈哈 -Oh, no! -Ha-ha!
-啊哈 -虎住你了 傻呆子 -Aha! -I got you, motherfucker!
-我沒死 我還活著 -他還活著 -I'm not dead! I'm alive! -He's alive!
看路 Look out!
佛祖... Holy...
啊啊啊 Ahhh!
你睡著啦 小寶貝兒 You sleeping, baby boy?
沒沒 我只是在檢查房頂 法爾瓦 No, I'm just checking out the ceiling, Farva.
嗯 房頂子糊的不錯 Good work up there.
好啦 把你的丁丁拿出來我們幹活兒 All right, pull out your caulk and let's go.
你說啥 What?
我們幹活 我手裏拿著的是我的丁丁 Let's go! I'm standing here with my caulk in my hand.
現在拿起你的丁丁 然後我們把他們放進洞洞裏去 Grab your caulk, let's put it in the holes!
抓緊的 讓我看看你的大丁丁 Come on, let me see that big caulk.
噢 閉嘴吧 Oh, shut up.
給我看你的兔兔丁 Show me your Rabbit caulk!
你知道嗎 法爾瓦 You know what's funny, Farva?
這個梗你都用了800遍了 You've made that joke 400 times
它依舊是個爛梗 and it still sucks.
去你的 邁克 Fuck you, Mac.
你就這麼跟你的現場指導說話 You don't talk to your site supervisor like that.
我給你記個大過 That's one demerit on your permanent record.
給我記個大過 On my permanent construction record?
你聽對了 想還嘴嗎 要不要再給你來一個 That's right. You want another one, keep it up.
行啊 你再給我記一個 我好把你丁丁揪下來 Yeah, give me another and I'll pinch your dick.
-記兩過 還要第三個嗎 -來 -That's two. You want to go for three? -Okay.
沒問題 仨過 還要嗎 Bingo! You got it! You want another one?
-來來 趕緊的 -那再給你來一個 -Pretty, pretty please. -You got it!
-還要嗎 -我全都包了 -You want another one? -I'll take them all!
7個大過了 再來一個嗎 That's seven! You want another one?!
給我來十個 Give me ten!
好的 十個就十個 Bingo!
邁克 有完沒完 Mac! Stop.
你想跟牛較勁 牛就拉你一身屎 You mess with the bull, you get covered in bullshit.
-這招兒不錯 -是哈 -What a tool. -Yeah.
我做了個超瘋的夢 I had the craziest dream.
這回誰是條子 Who were the cops this time?
史蒂夫勒和小達蒙·韋恩斯 Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr.
他們是不是差點就親親了 Did they almost kiss?
是啊 是啊 就差那麼一點兒 Yeah. Yeah. Almost got them to.
哈嘍 Hello.
-早啊 邁克 -早 阿蓋爾叔叔 -Morning, Mac! -Good morning, Uncle Argyle.
喊我叔叔 是不是法爾瓦在你旁邊了 Code names? Is Farva nearby?
是啊 吐口痰就能砸著他 Oh, yeah. Spitting distance.
幫我個忙 糊牆的時候把他嘴巴也糊上 Do me a favor, spackle his mouth shut.
沒問題 Okay, will do.
這週末釣魚的地點改了 So, change of location for this weekend's fishing trip.
你到時就直接來加拿大邊境就好了 Just over the Canadian border.
好極了 我喜歡加拿大 Oh, sweet! I love Canada.
太好了 我把地址寫信寄給你 Good one! I'll mail you the address.
-啥 貼郵票寄給我嗎 你給我發個短信不就得了 -短信 -What, like with a stamp? Just text me. -Text?
噢 你是說電子信件嗎 行 Oh, you mean like, mail text? Yeah.
我覺得我的電話裏應該有這個功能 I do believe I have that facility on this phone.
成 我試試 Okay, will do.
行了 這週末我得教你怎麼發短信 That's it. I'm teaching you how to text this weekend.
-不許打私人電話 邁克 -搞什麼 -No personal calls, Mac. -What the fuck?
-喔 -見鬼 法爾瓦 -Whoop. -Oh, God damn it, Farva.
-我跟你說過不許打私人電話 -是傳銷電話 -I told you no personal calls. -It was a sales call.
是嗎 傳銷啥的 Oh, yeah? What were they selling?
我猜猜 是不是賣三文魚罐頭的 我喜歡三文魚罐頭 Ooh, was it canned salmon? I love canned salmon.
比金槍魚好吃 你懂 咸咸滴 It's better than tuna, you know. It's a salty fish.
我喜歡咸咸的魚 I like a salty fish.
比如石斑魚或者鱸魚 Like a grouper or maybe a branzino.
讓你血壓一路飆升 Something that really jerks off your blood pressure.
你知道還有啥是咸的嗎 烏龜 吃過烏龜沒 You know what's salty? Turtle. You ever had turtle before?
知道哪兒最咸嗎 殼兒最咸 Saltiest part? The shell.
我怎麼才能讓你閉嘴 What do I have to say to get you to end this conversation?
你可以說 "電話裏的人 You could say, "The guy on the phone
想賣給我大丁丁" was trying to sell me hard dicks."
電話裏的人想賣給我大丁丁 The guy on the phone was trying to sell me hard dicks.
那我猜你得買個大禮盒 I bet you bought a baker's dozen.
丁丁們幹活兒啦 Let's lay some caulk!
我有新鮮的丁丁 熱丁丁 I got fresh caulk, everybody! Hot caulk here.
誰要丁丁 Who wants caulk?
所以他一下班兒就沒影兒了 He really wants to leave right from work, huh?
他說 "好男兒不拖沓" He said, "Real men travel light."
老天 他看起來真要命 God, he looks ridiculous.
我覺得他看起來挺酷的 No, I think he looks pretty cool.
看起來像強力廚房用紙廣告上的男的 Like the Brawny Paper Towel Guy.
你看 我剛要說 我覺得像是孟買廚房用紙上的 See, I was gonna say the Bombay Paper Towel Guy.
-嘿 桑恩 -嘿 -Hey, Thorn. -Hey.
這個爛差事 到處都是樹汁和碎渣子 Job sucks. It's all sap and splinters.
還聞起來好像孟買 Now it smells like Bombay.
-你要不把衣服穿上吧 -臭啊 -You wanna put that shirt back on? -Whew!
好好聞聞吧 小夥計 Breathe it in, little fella.
這就是大山裏的男人的味道 That's the smell of a mountain man.
啊行 好吧 你啥時候回山裏去 Right. Okay, what time you due back at the hobo zoo?
嘿 嘿 Hey, hey!
好啊 夥計們 What's up, guys?
坐騎不錯 Nice ride!
嘿 警長 Hey, Chief.
娘了個蛋 Son of a bitch.
-嗒噠 嘿 -Ta-da! -Hey!
嘿 怎麼樣 What's up, Foster?
把他交給你們了 He is all yours.
老坐我旁邊煩死了 I'm tired of him riding in my sidecar anyway.
你昨天晚上可不是這麼說的 That's not what you said last night.
長官 我們接到一個214 Chief, we have a 214
在沙克拉克汽車酒店外面 out at the Shuck n' Rack Motel.
警長需要協助 Officer needs guidance.
-我馬上到 -收到 -I'll be right there. -Copy.
你們要是沒被炒掉多好 I wish you guys didn't get fired.
我們不是被被炒了 我們是受邀辭職 We weren't fired. We were invited to resign.
-啊 -說得真好 -Ah. -Ooh, I like that.
沒有 你們被炒了 上次騎行出事了 No, you were fired. There was that ride-along gone wrong.
然後你們就被炒了 Then you were fired.
咱們還是尊重彼此的意見不合吧 We'll just have to agree to disagree.
行吧 All right.
玩得開心點 Well, you fellas have fun.
別讓他缺胳膊少腿地回來就行 Just get him back in one piece, all right?
釣魚竿也別弄丟了 我下週末要用 With the rod. I'm gonna need it next weekend.
好樣的 Hello!
這才是我女人 That's my girl.
好了兄弟們 釣魚去咯 All right, boys, let's go fishing.
重點是 黑到一定程度 And the beauty is, the black is so black
已經成藍色了 that it's really blue.
我的意思是 那其實是午夜藍 I mean, it's really midnight blue.
哎 簡直和以前一樣 Ah, just like the old days, huh?
馳騁在鄉村小路上 Driving around the countryside,
聽桑尼聊他的老二 listening to Thorny talk about his dick.
-還是以前好啊 -狗屁 -I miss the old days. -That's bullshit, man.
弗萊德·薩維奇那是根本不能怪我們 That Fred Savage thing was not our fault.
演員就不該跟著巡邏 Actors shouldn't do ride-alongs.
演員根本不能演警察 Actors shouldn't even try to play cops.
反正也演不好 I mean, they never get it right.
-你好 -你好 -Hey, there. -How you doin'?
你們是來辦公還是來玩的 Good. You boys here for business or pleasure?
-來釣魚 -正是時候 -Just going fishing. -Good timing.
角膜白斑都挺肥的 You'll be up to yer tits in the walleye.
我上周釣了一條 足足七千克 I caught one last week. Was seven kilograms.
那算重嗎 Is that big?
那算重嗎 從頭到腳足足九十厘米 Is that big? That's like nine decimeters from tip to tail.
-你是鐵板嗎 -你叫我啥 -You a jigger man? -What did you call me?
我在釣角膜白斑的時候 Well, I like to use the jigger rod
喜歡用鐵板竿 for when I'm catching the walleye.
當然啦 這樣的話 But of course when you're doing that
你就得少拿點東西 you gotta run extra light.
除非你是後面這位 Unless you're someone like you there in the back.
-你是搞健美的吧 -不是 -What are you, a bodybuilder? -No.
你臥推多少 算了別告訴我 What do you bench? Wait, don't tell me.
我會自卑的 I don't want you to embarrass me.
-但是給我兩張你的槍展的票吧 -額 好 -But I would like two tickets to your gun show. -Ah, okay.
你們走吧 耽擱你們的時間了 You guys are good to go. Sorry to hold ya up.
-放他們過 -謝謝 -Let them go! -Thanks! Take her easy.
典型的加拿大裝逼男 Typical Canadian hardass.
"對不起 真的對不起" "Sorry. I'm really sorry. Sorry."
"哦 對不起" "Oh, so sorry."
夥計們 待會兒有沒有空 Hey, fellas, any chance you can
過來玩對不起遊戲 come over to the house later and play some Sorry?
行啊 九點怎麼樣 Sure. How about nine o'clock?
哎 九點不行 Ooh, nine o'clock doesn't work.
對不起 Sorry about that.
說法語的最討厭 French ones are the worst. Ha!
你想要為你的巧克力麵包 Would you like some ratatouille
配上普羅旺斯燉菜嗎 with your pain du chocolat?
好的 我再去拿點火腿和奶酪 Oui, oui! I'm gonna get some jambon et fromage.
你開玩笑的吧 This can't be it.
地址沒錯啊 隊長發的就是這個 Well, this is the address Cap sent me.
雖然說他剛學會發短信 Although he did just learn how to text.
什麼情況下 會促使一個人 Now what would compel somebody
把輪胎扔到屋頂上 to throw a tire up on the roof?
什麼 你居然從來沒有玩過 把輪胎扔到屋頂上 What, you never played "Throw the Tire on the Roof"?
沒有 是不是你們瑞塔蘭區 No, is that the kind of shit
都這麼玩 you guys played in Rutland?
當然 這遊戲玩不膩的 Sure. Never got "Tired" Of that game.
我們絕對走錯地方了 We are in the wrong place.
沒有 你們來對了 No. You're in the right place.
隊長 這前不著村後不著店的地方 What's the deal with the creepy,
是要搞什麼 remote shithole, Cap?
你又要讓我們做什麼奇怪的事 You gonna make us put the lotion in the basket?
沒有 我有一個驚喜給你們 No, I've got a surprise for you.
我沒有提前告訴你們 I didn't tell you up front 'cause you tend to be
是因為你們嘴巴不嚴 a bunch of wide-mouth bassholes.
約翰 還是讓我來說吧 Well, then, why don't you let me reel in these fish, John?
傑斯曼總督 Governor Jessman?
我怎麼沒看見車隊 Hey, I didn't see the motorcade.
-我這次是悄悄來的 -哦 -We're keeping my visit quiet. -Mm.
隊長 你真壞 Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog.
邁克 放尊重點 Show some respect, Mac!
對不起 Sorry.
我來是有正事 I'm here on official business.
我們有一個有趣的情況 We've got an intriguing situation
就在這一帶 going on in these parts.
最近移民大熱 With all the heat on immigration these days,
美國這邊正在重新 the U.S. Has been going through
評估邊境 a border reassessment.
結果發現一些劃分加拿大和美國的 It turns out that some of the original stone markers
原始石頭標記 that delineated America from Canada,
和我們預想的有差別 weren't where we thought they'd be.
邊境原來在這裏 Here is where the border was.
這是我們找到石頭標記的地方 But here is where we found the stone markers.
所以 這座小鎮 聖約翰羅蘭 So this town, St. Georges du Laurent,
以及周邊地區 and the area surrounding it,
其實是在美國領土上 are actually on American soil.
所以要打仗嗎 So we're going to war?
這仗應該很快吧 Ah, gee, that'd be a quick one, eh?
不 經過協商 No. After negotiations,
他們同意把地讓出來 they've agreed to turn the land over.
佛蒙特的地 Vermont's about to get
-會再擴大一點 -嗯 -a little more head room. -Hm.
我的任務是要找一支臨時警察部隊 So, it was up to me to find
協助過渡期 a temporary police force to help with the transition.
一群熟悉邊境的警察 A group of officers familiar with the border area,
有高速公路巡邏經驗的 experienced in patrolling a stretch of highway.
或許含冤被炒的一幫警察 Guys who maybe caught a bad break the last time around?
你們幾個要不要重操舊業 So, you fellas want a crack at your old jobs?
小心點 我是老年人 Easy, you hooligans! I'm a senior citizen!
如果這兩個星期你們幹得好 And if this two-week assignment goes well,
我可能把臨時工變成正式工 I might be able to make it permanent.
相信我們 錯不了 Trust us. It'll go well.
你誰啊 And who are you?
我跟他們一夥的啊 Oh, I'm one of the cops.
他是我們在家得寶外面撿的 We picked him up outside of Home Depot.
棒極了 Fantastic.
你們將逐步接手一隻加拿大騎警部隊的工作 You'll be phasing out a Canadian Mountie unit.
我幫你們約好了明天跟他們見一面 We lined up a meet and greet with them tomorrow.
對了 Oh, yeah!
我想確保你們是一個完整的團隊 I wanted to make sure you had your full team back,
我把另外那個傢伙也找來了 so I tracked down your other guy too.
不會吧 No fucking way.
哦不 Oh, no.
不好意思我來晚了 抓了一個超速的駝鹿 Sorry I'm late. Hit a moose doing 90.
我把它放倒了 Vaporized the beyotch!
你們知道這兒還有愛斯基摩妓女嗎 You know they have Eskimo hookers up here?
辦事兒的時候她們很享受 When they have sex, they really get "Inuit".
看球 Pellet!
我操 God damn it.
法爾瓦 你個蠢貨 Farva, you fuck.
我回來啦 Back in business!
我操 誰定的這些 Bullshit! Who ordered these? I can't feel my tits!
嘿 Hey!
同桌 Desk buddies, guy?
你確定你要把以前的工作辭了 Are you positive you want to quit your old job?
施工主管是個不錯的工作 I mean, Construction Supervisor.
然後放棄這個打擊加人隊的機會 And give up the chance to crack some Canuck melons?
肯定選這活啊 I don't think so, bro-haim.
護具 搞定 Body armor, check.
戰術手電筒 來點吧 Tactical flashlights. Why not?
熱視鏡 好的 Ooh, heat vision goggles. Check.
我們拿熱視鏡幹嘛 Why would we need those?
拉比特 我們現在在加拿大耶 Uh, we're in Canada now, Rabbit.
說不定哪天要去雪裏刨人 What if we have to find somebody in the snow?
佛蒙特有雪 Uh, there is snow in Vermont.
行了 訂東西這事歸我管 Okay, I'm the "Order stuff" Guy.
你去忙你的 You do your thing. All right?
好 Okay.
給拉比特來一件黃色安全背心 One yellow safety vest for Rabbit.
哇 巡航全球定位系統三角測量器 Woo! A roving GPS triangulator.
三角測量器 你以為你是邦德啊 Triangulator? Get a load of James Bond over here.
再給桑尼來一件黃色安全背心 Another yellow safety vest for Thorny.
桑尼 桑尼 Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn.
你看這羝 它能把你代替了 Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod. You're out, he's in.
哦 Okay.
嘿 打掃得不錯嘛 Hey, place looks great!
隊長 你做了啥 What have you been cleaning, Cap?
你不小心點我就把你做了 I'll clean your clock if you don't watch out.
好了 開始吧 Okay, let's get started.
邁克 適可而止啊 Don't push it, Mac.
先攔幾輛車唄 Get started doing some pullovers?
不 我們不攔車 No, we're not doing your pullovers.
一切按規矩來 Everything will be by the book.
一切 Everything!
隊長 你知道我留了多久嗎 Cap, you know how hard I worked on this thing?
大臉配大鬍子 Big face, big mustache.
我管你臉大不大 剃了 I don't care how big your face is. Shave it!
隊長隊長 Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap!
我沒問題吧 I'm good, right?
我順著嘴留的 I got a tight mouth-muff.
-這臉才大 -隊長 你臉部歧視 -Talk about big faces. -That's face-ism, Cap.
不合格 剃了 Not regulation! Shave it!
行了 我們去見加拿大騎警吧 Right! Let's go and see some Mounties.
記住 表現好點 Remember the three B's: Best Behavior, Boys.
嘿 Hey.
-你好 -這地方像是1983年一樣 -How's it going? -Feels like 1983 in here.
他們來了 Oh, there they are.
我是蓋伊·勒弗朗克市長 I am Mayor Guy LeFranc.
加拿大聖約翰·羅蘭的市長 Mayor of Saint Georges du Laurent, Canada!
或許我該說 Or, as it's about to be known:
美國聖約翰·羅蘭 St. George of Lawrence, America.
抱歉 我的美語不好 歡迎 I don't know. I'm not so good with American. Welcome.
等一下 蓋伊·勒弗朗克 Uh, the Guy LeFranc?
加拿大蒙特利爾青少年聯盟 From the Montreal Canadiens Minor League system?
哈利法克斯 吃熊隊的主要得分手 The leading scorer of the Halifax Bear Eaters?
加拿大冰球聯賽史上得分排名第八 Eighth most points in CHL history.
是的 比薛提·費茲努格裏少兩分 Yeah, I know. Two points behind Shotti Fitznugly.
你看看 Look at this guy!
我喜歡冰球 I love hockey.
你的別名 額 Your nickname, um,
等一下 讓我想一下 爆炸 don't tell me, it was, uh, "The Explosion".
哈利法克斯大爆炸 "The Halifax Explosion."
以廣島爆炸之前 Named after the single greatest
最大的人為爆炸命名 man-made explosion before Hiroshima.
那是1971年 It was 1917,
滿載炸藥的船 ship laden with dynamite
與哈利法克斯港的另一艘船相撞 crashed into another ship in Halifax Harbor.
死傷慘重 Tremendous explosion and loss of life.
當時火光巨大 Burned people's eyes out with the blast.
周圍的人都睜不開眼 Many were blinded by the light.
和歌裏唱的一樣 Like the song says.
一個原住民部落被毀了 And a First Nations tribe was lost.
雖然這事可能遲早都會發生 Probably would've happened to them anyway,
但是確實提前了一會兒 不是嗎 but it kind of moved up the timetable, eh?
所以 我是哈利法克斯第二大爆炸 So, I am the second biggest explosion from Halifax.
不說我了 But enough about me.
來認識一下我們騎警隊吧 Meet the Mounties. Guys!
兄弟們 過來 Guys, come on over here.
這是阿甘博騎警 This here is Sergeant Major Roger Archambault.
這是波迪恩騎警 This is Staff Sergeant Major Henri Podein,
這是貝勒威爾騎警 and Sergeant Christophe Bellefuille.
我一句沒聽懂 Total gobbledygook.
我是約翰·奧海根 這是法爾瓦 I'm John O'Hagan. This is Rod Farva,
洛特 福斯特 和沃馬科 Robbie Roto, Carl Foster, MacIntyre Womack
還有阿爾喬特·拉瑪索恩 and Arcot Ramathorn.
我會讓你們反擊的 I'll let you guys chew the cud.
我們去另一個房間 Why don't we go fuck off to the other room here?
好的 Yeah, sure.
我要去喝點甜酒 那是美國的啤酒 I'm gonna get a Schlitz! That's American for beer.
所以 你們是騎馬或者... So, you do guys ride horses or...
現在不是1957年了 Yeah, this isn't 1957.
我們開皇冠維多利亞 We drive Crown Victorias.
我們也是 Hey, us too. You get a little soup in them,
他們真會把你的門把手扯下來 對嗎 they can really rip your knob off. Am I right?
我們聽說過你們 We hear about you guy, heh?
因為最初你們的公路站台被關閉了 Because first, you get your highway station shut down.
然後你們就 And then, you get kick out
丟掉了第二份工作 from your second job because of this, uh,
就因為弗萊德·薩維奇的事 Fred Savage thing.
"薩維奇" "Savage."
至少這聽起來很有趣 Makes it sound intriguing, at least.
所以你們準備在這做什麼 So, what are you going to do here?
玩帽子戲法 Go for the hat trick?
我們實際上希望能保住這些工作 Well, we're actually hoping to hold on to these jobs.
你們在工作結束後都幹什麼 What are you guys doing after the turnover?
噢 他們要把我們調到拉布拉多市 Oh, they're transferring us up to Labrador City.
-噢 -棒極了 -Oh! -Cool.
太棒了 It's cool, all right.
那裏冬天平均溫度是零下18攝氏度 Average winter temperature is minus 18 degrees Celsius!
是的 你需要做的就是 Yeah, all you have to do to convert
將其乘以2 再加32 再加入剩下的人類 is times two, add 32 and join the rest of the human race.
嘿 菜鳥 Hey, Rookie,
這又不含酒精的摩爾松 they got non-alcoholic Molsons over here.
要我給你半杯咖啡嗎 Want me to get you a half carafe?
我們有新人了嗎 他們 Oh, we got a rookie there? They shave your nuts yet?
加拿大人的傳統是你必須把 Canadian tradition says you got to shave
胸毛刮了 否則會走霉運 the rook's nuts, otherwise it's bad luck.
-是真的嗎 -霉運 -You don't say? -Bad luck?
我事實上不是新手 I'm actually not a rookie...
你們中哪個人資歷最低 Which one of you guys has least seniority?
我的意思是 嚴格來說我... I mean, technically I...
刮掉他的毛 Shave this guy ball!
來吧 把他的毛都刮掉 Come on, shave both of his ball.
把你下面的毛都刮掉 Shave your ball, your dick.
大家好 歡迎來到加拿大 Hello, hello! Welcome to Canada.
我是日內維奧·奧波伊斯 I'm Genevieve Aubois,
聖喬治·杜洛朗文化專員 Cultural Attach of Saint Georges du Laurent.
我將確保所有事情在接下來幾周 I will see that things go smoothly
順利進行 in the next few weeks.
另外 如果你們有任何問題 And please, if you have any questions,
請直接問我 don't hesitate to ask.
向北看 大個子 Keep heading north, big fella.
身材火爆的女人不必有漂亮臉蛋 You don't look at the mantel when
就足以令男人心馳神往 你懂我的意思嗎 you're poking the fire, you know what I'm saying?
-對嗎 夥計們 你們懂我說的吧 -上帝 法爾瓦 -Right, guys? You know what I'm saying, right? -Jesus, Farva.
好了 Okay.
他們在另一間房等我們 Well, they are waiting for us in the other room.
所以 請跟我走 So, please, suivez-moi.
誰在哪等我們 Who is waiting where?
兄弟 我不知道整個鎮的人都在這了 Boy, I didn't know the whole town was gonna be here.
噢 Oh.
這是在說我的鬍子嗎 It's about my mustache, right?
他們在嘲笑我的鬍子 They're laughing at my mustache?
請大家給予佛蒙特州公路巡警 Please, let's give a big Canadian welcome
一個盛大的加拿大式歡迎 to the Vermont Highway Patrol.
嘿 大家好 Hey, hey, everyone!
請大家安靜 他們來到這 Come on, guys. They've come up here
來告訴我們成為美國人 to tell us how great it's gonna be
是有多麼美好 for all of us to become Americans.
所以 有請他們講話 隊長 So, let them speak. Captain?
嗯 Uh...
晚上好 Bonsoir.
這讓我想起了獨木舟中的拉比 You know, this reminds me of the story of the rabbi,
牧師和印度教徒的故事 the priest, and the Hindu in a canoe.
吹去吧 Go blow yourself!
我是隊長約翰·奧海根 I'm Captain John O'Hagan. I...
嗨 吃了它 你這個老禿驢 Yeah, eat it, you old donkey!
嘿 放鬆 嘿 聽著 聽著 Hey, easy. Hey, look, look.
嚴格來說 我們都是美洲人對嗎 Technically, we're all Americans, right?
北美人 North Americans.
只有一點點小小的改變 Very little is gonna change around here.
是的 你大概是要告訴我們 Oh, yeah, right! You're probably gonna tell us
我們不能再聽拉什 we can't listen to Rush anymore!
或者裸女樂團 Or the Barenaked Ladies!
嘿 嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey. Hey!
所有人 People, people.
我愛拉什和裸女樂團 I love Rush and the Barenaked Ladies.
你應該都聽聽 You should listen to both.
所以你們在要求我們去聽誰 So, you are telling us who to listen to!
不 不是 我只是... No, no. I'm just...
然後那個人會告訴我們 And then that one's gonna tell us
我們得開始吃玉米餅了 we have to start eating tortillas!
-這是個錯誤 -狗屎 -It's a common mistake. -Bullshit!
嘿 聽著 Hey! Listen up.
現在這裏是美國了 要麼愛它要麼忍耐 This is America now. Like it or lump it!
跟我念 Repeat after me:
我宣誓效忠於 I pledge of allegiance to the flag
美利堅合眾國 of the United States of America.
記住了 Learn the words!
操 Fuck you!
你永遠不知道如何打曲棍球 You don't even know how to play hockey!
我不認為他們會認為是佔領軍 I didn't think they'd see us as an occupying force.
哦天吶 你的眼睛 Oh, my God! Your eye.
可能會留疤 That might leave a scar.
我看上去足夠漂亮了 I was looking too pretty anyway.
我可以幫你到我車裏縫一下 I can sew you up at my car.
你是個醫生 You're a doctor?
不 不是 我執教女子曲棍球隊 No, no. I coach the girls' hockey team,
所以我有自己的方法 so I know my way around a gash.
你在... Are you making a...
是的 這是一種對陰道的雙重要求 Oui. A double entendre for la vagine.
走吧 快點 Let's go, quickly!
我以為加拿大人是無害的 I thought Canadians are supposed to be harmless.
噢拜託 放他們一馬吧 Oh, come on. Cut them some slack.
他們只是為失去了身份而難過 They're upset about losing their identities.
他們叫你老禿驢 難道你不生氣嗎 They called you an old donkey. Doesn't that piss you off?
我不喜歡這樣 Well, I don't love it.
事實上 我昨晚一夜沒睡 Actually, I didn't sleep at all last night.
但我們有工作要做 But we got a job to do.
-拉比特 你的頭怎麼了 -沒事 -Rabbit, how's your head? -It's okay.
嗯... 日內維奧 她 幫我包過了 That, uh... Genevieve, she, uh, patched me up.
噢拜託 Oh, please!
弗蘭奇整晚都盯著我的大腿 Frenchy had her eyes on my thighs all night long.
-哇 -是嗎 -Yeah. -Did she, now?
是嗎 繼續笑啊 Oh, yeah? Keep laughing.
我賭一塊錢 我把她的黑紗先搞掉 I bet you a buck I bang the crape out of her first.
好啊 Okay.
把錢花在刀刃上 Put your money where your mouth's been.
去他媽的美元 輸的人坐僊人掌 Fuck the buck. Loser sits on a cactus.
不 輸的人去燙頭髮 No, loser gets a perm.
不 輸的人用鏟子把小拇指割掉 No, loser cuts his pinky-toe off with a shovel.
用這個賭注 Take that bet.
我建議你用這個賭注 I suggest you take the bet,
-拉比特 真的 -跳過來 -Rabbit. Really, honestly. -Jump on it.
求你閉嘴吧 法爾瓦 Please shut up, Farva.
好了 我們有一個賭約 Okay. We have a deal.
你聽見了 對吧 我們有個賭約 You heard it, right? We have a deal.
所以 這就是他們關押非法移民的地方 Oh, so, this is where they keep the illegal aliens, huh?
歡迎 長官們 Ah, welcome, Officers!
歡迎那些站在旁邊的人 Welcome to the guys who stood around
當人們向我們扔曲棍球時 while people threw hockey pucks at us?
你得上來談談 You gonna come up here talking
那些"讓美國變偉大"的廢話 all that "Make America Great" Crap,
你會看到一張全是加拿大番茄的臉 you're bound to catch a face full of Canadian tomato.
好吧 聽著 Okay, okay. Listen up.
你們兩個和騎警一起去 Two of you are gonna ride with the Mounties.
他們會告訴你屍體埋在哪裏們 They'll show you where the bodies are buried.
-不 -事實上就是你們倆 -Not it. -Actually, it is you two.
夥計們 這也不是我們所謂的快樂時光 It's not our idea of a good time either, fellas.
個人而言 我更願意操一隻麋鹿 Personally, I'd rather fuck a moose.
你需要一個梯子來這麼做 You would need a ladder to do that.
顯然我需要一個梯子來操麋鹿 Obviously, I would need a ladder to fuck a moose.
但我會找到一個梯子的 並且我也會操那只麋鹿 But I would find one, and I would fuck that moose.
好了 Okay!
桑尼 拉比特 我這有個高速公路的活給你們 Thorny, Rabbit, I got a highway job for you.
開始吧 Let's do it!
嘿 隊長 Hey, Cap? Cap?
我要開誰的車 Whose car do I ride in?
你為什麼不跟我留在這呢 Why don't you stay here with me?
坐下 Sit over here.
那是電台 That's the radio, though.
好主意 Great idea!
這樣 如果有電話打進來 你可以接 That way, if a call comes in, you can answer it.
啊 Huh?
好吧 就今天 可以嗎 Okay, just today, though, okay?
所有人輪著來 這是個新站 Everyone takes a turn. It's a new station.
操他媽的電台 Fuckin' radio.
這他媽的是什麼東西 What the fuck is this shit?
我想說 不會殺死他對吧 I mean, it's not gonna kill him, is it?
我不知道 你想殺了他嗎 I don't know. Do you want it to kill him?
來吧 Allons-y!
等一下 Just a minute!
等... Just a, uh...
加拿大語怎麼說"分鐘" What's Canadian for "Minute"?
啊 Ah.
他們在那 好的 There they are. Okay.
嗯 Hm.
你在整個吞下M&M豆嗎 Are you swallowing M&M's whole?
是的 綠色的豆讓我上癮 Yeah. The green ones make me horny.
你為什麼不嚼下它們 Why don't you chew them first?
他們都會去到同一個地方 不是嗎 They all go to the same place, right?
嘿 法爾瓦 我可以測試下電台嗎 Hey, Farva, can I get a radio check?
為什麼要電擊你的朋友 兄弟 Why did you shock your buddy, buddy?
你知道的 每份工作都有一個人讓你喜歡欺負他 You know, every job has that one guy that you love to hate.
是的 真討厭又畸形 Yeah, obnoxious. Oafish.
好吧 你是說像典型的美國人 Oh, yeah, you mean like your typical American?
還在等待電台檢查 Still waiting on that radio check.
去你媽的狗屎 Fuckin' shit!
這是個很棒的任務 This is an awesome assignment.
來吧 太棒了 在外面 又能工作 Oh, come on, it's great. Outside. On duty.
嘿 英語裏每小時80公里是多少 Hey, what's 80 kilometers per hour in English?
我猜是49.7097英里每小時 I guess 49.7097 miles per hour.
我想沒有小數 Uh, I don't think we have any decimals.
-你有記號筆嗎 -沒有 -Do you have a Sharpie? -Uh, no.
23隊 收到 23 23隊 收到 23 Unit 23. Come in, 23. Unit 23. Come in, 23.
電台 我們要保持公制直到交班 Radio, until the turnover, we have to keep things metric.
所以我們現在是37.015隊 重複一遍 So we are now Unit 37.015. Try again.
隨便 Whatever.
我接到了來自77號公路的電話 I got a call out on Rue de Autoroute 77
或者是雅克兄弟的廢話 or some Frare Jacques bullshit.
路上有一群死加拿大鵝 There's a gaggle of dead Canadian Geese on the road.
是的 在上面 他們叫它們鵝 電台 Yeah, up here, they just call them geese, Radio.
是的 兩周後 我叫它們美國鵝 Yeah, well, in two weeks, I call them American Geese.
嘎嘎 去把它們清理乾淨 Honk, honk. Go clean them off.
那是個大16.09-6436 兄弟 That's a big 16.09-6436, good buddy.
看 那是煎蛋餅 Ah, ya, there's the Pancake Shed.
那是Flapjack's. And that's the Flapjack's.
右邊 Oh, there on the right,
那是吉吉的魚餌釣具和煎蛋餅店 that's Gigi's Bait, Tackle and Pancakes.
但他們更有名的 But they're really known
-是他們的華夫餅 -是的 -more for their waffles. -Yeah, they are.
聽起來女王一定會喜歡煎蛋餅 Sounds like the Queen must really love pancakes.
那是什麼意思 What's that supposed to mean?
你們還在英格蘭女王陛下的統治下嗎 Aren't you guys still ruled by the Queen of England?
我是說 她把你們的錢都花光了 I mean, she's all over your money.
我給你科普一下 I'll have you know that
我們1982年就已經獨立了 we achieved our independence in 1982.
-哦 -哦 -Ooh! -Oh!
1982 1982.
威姆在大會儀式上表演了嗎 Did Wham! Perform at the ceremony?
如果我們早一點獨立 Maybe if we had our independence sooner,
就不會有槍支管制 也不相信進化論了 we'd have no gun control, not believe in evolution
然後所有人都變得超級肥 沒有醫療保險 and all be morbidly obese without healthcare.
就在這兒停車吧 Why don't you pull in right up here?
帶你去見一見當地的商業大鱷 Time for you to meet the local business owners.
妓女 Escorts?
哥們兒 我們到了 Here we are, boys.
我們是來這兒拆妓院的嗎 Are we here to bust up a cat-house?
你不能因為人家硬了就逮捕人家 You can't arrest people for having boners.
在這是合法的 老美 It's legal up here, Yank.
曲棍球主題 雙性妓院 A hockey-themed, dual-sex bordello.
我們美國有這個嗎 Do we have that in the U.S.?
不知道 不過讓我上吧 教練 I don't know, but put me in, Coach.
哦 哦 看誰來了 條子 Oh, oh! Look who it is! It's the fuzz.
市長也來逛窯子 The Mayor hangs out in a bordello?
不 市長開的這家妓院 No, the Mayor own the bordello.
拿著 哥們兒 Here you go, boys.
來杯啤酒玩個桌游怎麼樣 我買單 How about a beer and a tug? On the house.
-你好呀 -哦 呃 -Hey! -Oh, uh...
呃 等會兒吧 Uh, maybe later.
哦 我懂了 姑娘們撤 Oh, I understand. Scram, girls.
-最近怎麼啊 啊 -呃 不不 等下再說 -How's it going, eh? -Yeah, no, no. Maybe later.
你們這群人 You guys!
你們不喜歡女人 也不喜歡男人 You don't like women, you don't like men.
我還能怎麼辦 找一隻河貍取悅你們嗎 I mean, what should I get, a river beaver to pleasure you?
開玩笑 他們牙齒太尖了 太可怕了 It's a joke. Their teeth are so sharp, it would be horrible.
我能為你們做點什麼 How can I help you fellas?
哦 這些老美想來談談美國法律的事情 Oh, the Yanks want to talk about their U.S. Laws.
你知道 比如賣很不怎麼樣的啤酒 You know, like serving weaker beer
然後把妓院關了 and shutting down brothels.
把妓院關了 Shutting down brothels?
誰讓你這麼做的 Who put you up to this?
是挈資·彭唐的讓·保爾妓院嗎 Was it Jean-Paul down at Chez Poontang?
嗯 你們想拉倒我 Huh? You guys pulling my chain?
聽著 我不覺得我們需要 Look, I don't think this is anything
立刻來處理任何事 we need to get too hung up on right now.
我簡直不能相信在美國 I can't believe down in the States,
來杯啤酒 玩咪咪和丁丁是違法的 it's illegal to have a beer and enjoy tits and a dick.
你看 嘟 嘟 I mean, beep beep!
-不會受傷啊 -哦 呃 -There's no harm there. -Oh. Uh...
-可以健身 看到吧 -哇哦 -Good workout, eh? -Wow.
講真 哥們 我們不是來擺法條的 Honestly, Guy, we're not here to lay down any laws.
如果有什麼誤會我們真的很抱歉 We're very sorry if there's been a misunderstanding.
"我們很抱歉" "抱歉" "We're sahrry?" "Sahrry."
不好意思 可是聽起來好蠢 I'm sorry, but that sounds stupid.
-好抱歉 -抱歉 -So sahrry. -Sahrry.
我知道 挺搞笑的 It's funny. I know.
你到底對我們的啤酒有什麼不滿的 And what exactly is your beef with our beer?
哦 我對啤酒沒有什麼不滿 Oh, I don't have any problem with the beer.
我的意思是 在美國啤酒的酒精度不可以超過百分之九 I mean, I think the limit in the U.S. Is what, nine percent?
百分之九 那你們怎麼喝醉 Nine percent? How are you supposed to get drunk?
我的意思 你知道的 I mean, you know,
我覺得是多喝一點這個弱雞的東西 I think the idea is you drink more of the weaker stuff.
我也這麼覺得 I bet it is.
你們美國老什麼東西都吃都喝 You Americans drinking and eating everything.
-哦 不 你們不應該啊 -太肥了 -Oh, no, you shouldn't. -So fat.
來這兒幫幫我們 怎麼樣 How about a little help over here, huh?
沒錯 我不覺得我們在這邊有管轄權 兄弟 Yeah, I don't think we have jurisdiction here anymore, buddy.
好吧 好吧 Okay, all right.
我們來這兒不是為了"搞砸"你們的權利 It's not like we're here to "Screw you" Out of your rights.
沒錯 你們不是 Darn tootin' you're not.
好了 沒事 放鬆 Okay, look, relax.
滾開 你們這些美國豬 Go away, you American pigs!
-回家去 -哦 -Go home! -Oh!
別衝動 Take it easy.
打 打 打 打 Fight, fight, fight, fight!
不好意思 意外 Sorry about that. It was an accident.
滾出去 Get out of here!
放開我 Get the fuck off me.
媽的 狗娘養的 媽的 Fuck you, motherfuckers. Fuck you!
-佛蒙特好爛 -謝謝 -Vermont sucks, eh! -Thank you.
再見 美女 See you later, sunshine!
-傻逼美國佬 -再見 -Stupid Americans! -Cheerio!
好吧 這工作並沒有想的那麼好玩 Okay, this job isn't as fun as I thought it was.
自大的美國佬 Arrogant American!
整個世界都用公制 你有啥意見嗎 The whole world's metric. What's your problem, eh?
走你的吧 先生 Just doing our job, sir.
你身高185 You're 185 centimeters tall,
體重92千克 早點習慣 you weigh 92 kilogram. Get used to it!
好的 Okay.
你們的權威在這裏屁用沒有 Your authority don't mean cheese up here.
我都不知道她說我胖還是瘦 I can't tell if he's calling me skinny or fat.
警官請求幫助 Officers requesting assistance
地點在四號公路的大爆炸妓院 at the L'Explosion Bordello on Route Four.
我們被妓女攻擊了 We are under assault by hookers.
好多妓女 有男人也有女人 Lots of them. Male and female.
收到 91 我們馬上就到 Copy, 91. We'll be right there.
等我們和穿著維秘吹簫的姑娘們 Just as soon as we finish taking selfies
自拍完馬上就過去 with the Victoria's Secret Blow Job Team.
我沒開玩笑 桑尼 好多妓女啊 I'm not kidding, Thorny! There's too many of them.
你能把你的丁丁從我臉上拿走嗎 Will you get your dick out of my face!
我剛剛 亮了 I just... I got glitter!
閃啊閃 閃啊閃 Glittering and... Glittering and...
太棒了 好像我們沒離開一樣 I love it. It's like we never left.
什麼鬼 遠程司機 What the hell? Remote driver?
幽靈車 Ghost car?
我們剛鑽好的牌子 We drilled that sign!
他們是小孩子 They're kids.
把鑰匙給我 Give me those keys.
啊 不許咬 你這個壞孩子 Ow! No biting, you little shit kid!
小孩 你叫什麼名字 What's your name, kid?
陌生人好危險 陌生人好危險 Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
你從哪兒弄到的車 Where did you get the car?
滾蛋吧 條子 Suck it, cop!
我勒個去 Holy Christmas.
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
這些都是興奮劑 They're all hopped up on goofballs.
你抓不到我 You can't catch me!
我要去拿我的豆袋槍 I'm gonna get my bean bag gun!
告訴我你從哪兒搞到的這些 Show me where you got these
我就讓你玩我的泰瑟槍 and I'll let you play with my Taser.
哦 好耶 好耶 Ooh! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
我們得小心點 We gotta be careful.
這種景象可是會有致命的 This is the kind of image that could go viral.
那兒 There!
好了 冷靜點 孩子們 All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys.
呆著 不要動 Stay! Stay.
怎麼了 索佩 What's up, Soapy?
有更多毒品 More pills?
蘋果公司換商標了 Did Apple change their logo?
看看這些 What have we here?
古巴的 Cubans.
你一定像在家一樣 Must make you feel right at home.
貨不錯啊 Good one.
藥 藥 藥 Pills, pills, pills!
哦 孩子們 Oh, boy.
革命萬歲 寶貝 Viva la revolucion, baby!
-耶 耶 耶 -哎 -Ay, ay, ay! -Ugh.
你聽說過古巴禁運嗎 You ever hear of the Cuban Embargo?
禁運也不是新聞了 That embargo is yesterday's news.
對我來說不是啊 Not for me it isn't.
就像卡斯特羅 又涼又皺的丁丁 That's like sucking Castro's cold wrinkled dick.
古巴的雪茄 Cuban cigars,
山寨愛瘋和沒牌子的藥片 counterfeit iPhones and unmarked pills.
我們還是有收穫的 We got something here.
你們只是偶然發現了一個藏貨窩點 You boys stumbled on quite a booty closet.
現在是怎樣 A what now?
藏貨 違禁品 Booty. Contraband.
啥 現在都不說藏貨這個詞了嗎 What? They don't say "Booty" Anymore?
-不 不怎麼說了 -好吧 -Not really, no. -Nah.
加拿大山寨愛瘋？ Canadian counterfeit iPhones?
我們應該管它叫哎瘋 對吧 We should call them A-Phones, eh? Right?
他們的號碼都一樣 這是剽竊 They all have the same number? That's a rip-off.
藥片都有哪些種類 So, what pills do we have?
不確定 Not sure.
五種 沒有一個標明是什麼的 Five different kinds. None of them have markings.
送去實驗室 Send them to the lab.
試過了 美國實驗室說送去加拿大實驗室 I tried! The U.S. Lab said send them to the Canadian lab.
加拿大實驗室說 The Canadian lab said,
"哦 你好呀 "Oh, ya, hey there.
把他們送去美國實驗室" "Send 'em over to the U.S. Lab there."
可能那些騎警使了絆子 Maybe the Mounties have some pull?
哦 Boo!
那些操蛋的騎警 Fuck the Mounties!
-操蛋的加拿大 -媽的 -Fuckin' Canada. -Fuck that.
據我們所知 這是皇家騎警隊 For all we know, this was the Mounties.
針對地方警察的陰謀 Easy on the local cop conspiracies.
我們還是自己解決這個案子 We'll solve this case ourselves.
我給蒙彼利埃打個電話 I'll put a call out to Montpelier,
看看能不能為我們聯繫上一個實驗室 see if they can line up a lab for us.
哇 哇 我才不想讓一個穿實驗室制服的呆子 Wah, wah! I don't need some nerd
告訴我這是什麼 in a lab coat to tell me what this shit is.
有時候我都服你 Sometimes even I've gotta hand it to you,
你個怪胎 you weird son of a bitch.
但是為什麼你吃藥片要嚼 But why is it that you chew a pill
卻生吞M&M豆 yet you swallow M&M's whole?
我是個複雜的人 邁克 I'm a complicated guy, Mac.
好吧 好吧 Okay. All right.
文藝復興之後再見啦 See you boys in the Renaissance Period.
咻 Huzzah!
動不了了 Can't move.
我嘴巴好干 My mouth's dry.
你覺得是什麼 像重巴比妥酸鹽吧 What do you think, like a heavy barbiturate?
肯能是肌肉鬆弛 Maybe a muscle relaxant?
你真的不能動嗎 You really can't move?
我麻了 全身都麻了 I'm numb. I'm totally numb.
好吧 Okay.
你要幹嘛 What are you doing?
哦 Oh!
尼瑪 邁克 我需要醫療援助 Fuck you, Mac. I need medical attention.
副作用可能包括肥胖和煩躁 Side effects may include fatness and irritability.
我覺得是情緒加強劑 I think it's a mood enhancer.
媽賣批 God damn it.
起碼我心情變好了 I know I'm in a better mood.
我們還有粘蒼蠅的膠帶嗎 Do we have any more fly strips?
我想給他做個頭帶 I want to make him a headband.
-這個需要速度 對吧 -沒錯 -That's gotta be speed, right? -Absolutely.
哇 你看起來怪怪的 Wow. You seem kinda wired.
我只是很開心能重回工作崗位 I'm just psyched to be back on the job!
這樣 好吧 我就知道你會開心的 Yeah, okay, well, I knew you would be.
哦 對了 我和你說 Ooh, did I tell ya the oth...
哦 對了 我有 我有一個三角測量儀了 Oh, yeah, I got, I got a triangulator.
你要三角測量儀有什麼用 Why would you need a triangulator?
為啥每個人都要這麼說 Why does everyone keep saying that?
為了測量三角啊 寶貝 To triangulate, baby!
對了 我們好久沒有跳過舞了 Hey, how come we never go dancing anymore?
等我回家 我們跳到嗨 When I get home, we're gonna go fuckin' dancing.
好呀 我都等不及了 Okay. I can't wait.
拉比特 給我點檸檬水 Rabbit, get me some lemonade.
拉比特 給我點檸檬水 Rabbit. Get me some lemonade, please.
他媽給我點檸檬水 菜鳥 Get me some goddamn lemonade, rookie!
不許叫我菜鳥 你個混球 Don't you call me rookie, you fucker!
我他媽會把拳頭錘在你的頭上 I will fucking put my fist right through your head!
-我覺得會搞突襲 -絕對的 -I'm thinkin' 'roids. -Absolutely.
你怎麼樣 有什麼感覺 How about you? You feel anything?
嘴巴濕濕 掌心出汗 Wet mouth. Sweaty palms.
耳道也濕濕的 我感覺有點情緒化 Moist ear canals. And I'm just feeling emotional.
嗯 好吧 Hm. Okay.
我覺得你吃了加拿大 I think you took a Canadian female
一種女性春藥叫福羅瓦·斯科夏 sexual enhancement drug called Flova Scotia.
[一種增強女性性徵的荷爾蒙]
"加拿大產 美國禁藥" "Made in Canada, but banned in the U.S."
當時機來臨時 When the time is right,
但你沒有準備好 but you're not.
福羅瓦·斯科夏 誰試誰知道 Flova Scotia, eh?
副作用包括 Side effects may include
唾沫分泌增多 掌心出汗 耳朵潮濕 陰部發潮 wet mouth, sweaty palms, damp ears, moist groin,
胸部靜脈曲張 掉發 陰道屁 婊裏婊氣 varicose breasts, hair loss, queefing, and bitchiness.
福羅瓦·斯科夏 誰試誰知道 Flova Scotia, eh?
竟然能在加拿大電視台說"陰道屁"這種詞 You can say "Queefing" On Canadian TV?
哈 這國家絕了 Ha! What a country!
你呢 你好難聞啊 What about you? You're awful smiley.
我有點幻覺 I'm on acid.
藥物幻覺嗎 這東西真的存在嗎 Pharmaceutical acid? Is there such a thing?
不知道 但是我知道你的鬍子 Don't know. But I do know you have exactly
一共長了1509條毛 1,509 hairs in your mustache.
很接近 1521 我在我生日的時候還算了一下 Close! 1,521. I had them counted for my birthday.
-真的嗎 -是的 -Really? -Yeah.
-真的嗎 -是的 -Really? -Yeah!
我不知道該信什麼了 桑尼 I don't know what to believe, Thorn!
-好吧 -你千萬別那樣做 -Okay. -Don't you do that.
我真的很想那樣做 I'm really looking forward to this.
呃 Well?
夥計們你們想到什麼了嗎 You guys come up with anything?
是的我們找到一些非常有趣的線索 Indeed we have some very interesting leads.
有些是從那台電腦裏面找的 Some of them from that computer!
我覺得我們現在這個案子已經很有眉目了 I think that we are on top of this case.
我們要找出是誰幹的 We're gonna find out who did this
然後我們要狠狠的踩他們的臉 and we're gonna stomp in their stupid fucking faces!
好吧 Okay.
嗯 那個小木棚線索已經斷了 Well, the shack's a dead end.
它建在一片荒地上並且屬於一個已經不存在的公司 It's on abandoned land owned by a defunct mining company.
所以 任何一個人都有可能把這些贓物放在那裏 So, anyone could have put the booty out there.
你為啥在笑 笑臉哥 Why you laughing, Guy Smiley?
好的 如果我們監視那個小木棚 Okay, if we stake out the shack
或許我們可以抓到來往這個地方的人 maybe we can catch someone coming or going.
我們回去那個地方吧 Let's get back out there.
法爾瓦 開電台 Farva, hit the radio.
你聽到了嗎 You hearing this?
快去 開電台 Come on! Hit the radio!
法爾瓦 快點 Farva! Come on!
噢哦 Uh-oh.
喔噢 Woo-hoo!
我喜歡草 I love grass!
我喜歡生活 I love life!
我喜歡音樂 I love music!
想想小狗 不要想類固醇 Think puppies, not steroids.
笑笑 小狗 Smiling. Puppies.
呼 Whew!
小兔 小兔 Bunnies! Bunnies!
你好 小兔 嗨 Hi, bunny. Hi.
小兔 我的名字叫拉比特 噢 小可愛 Rabbit. My name's Rabbit. Oh, so cute little thing.
啵 啵 啵 啵 Bub, bub, bub, bub.
呆在那裏 Just stay there!
感覺類固醇在消散了 Feel the steroids melting away.
不要讓工作壓力搞垮你啊 Don't let the job stress you out.
我喜歡這份工作 I love the job.
工作壓力沒有壓垮我 法爾瓦反而讓我壓力重重 Doesn't stress me out. Farva stresses me out.
真是遺憾 Such a shame.
為什麼長得好看的人總是那麼惹人討厭 Why are the good-looking ones always so obnoxious?
你覺得他長得很好看嗎 You think he's good-looking?
"臀部有多豐碩 推車就有多給力" "The bigger the cushion, the better the pushing."
-不 -不 -No. -No.
我更寧願和一隻狒狒做愛 I would rather have sex with a baboon.
但是這很有趣 不是嗎 It's funny though, huh?
我們都和一個很糟糕的人一起工作 We all have that one horrible person we work with.
對於我來說 就是我的辦公室經理朗尼·拉魯什 For me, it's my office manager Lonnie Laloush.
噢 他真的是"一團嘰叭" Oh, he can be such a "Deeckwad".
怎麼了 What?
就是你的口音很好笑 It's just with your accent,
你說"一團雞巴"的樣子很可愛 the way you say "Dickwad" Is adorable.
不 是真的 他就是一團嘰叭 No, but it's true. He is a deeckwad.
先是偷走了我們的工作 First you steal our job
然後你就坐在這裏 and now you sit here
充滿愛意的凝視我們的女人的眼睛 gazing lovingly into the eyes of our women.
你們的女人 Your women?
哼 或許我們應該帶他去後面 Well, maybe we should take him in the back,
給他來點加拿大握手 呵 give him Canadian handshake, eh?
那是啥 What's that?
簡單跟你說就是會有一大袋冰球 Let's just say it involve a bag of hockey puck
和很多熱熱的濃汁 and a lot of warm gravy.
嗯 聽起來很美味 Mm. Sounds delicious.
走開走開 Make way!
熱湯來啦 Hot soup coming through!
噢 加拿大刺頭 哈 Oh, Canadian standoff, huh?
噢 看起來像霍金博士 Oh, it look like professor Stephen Hawking
最近放縱自己到處亂跑了 has really let himself go these days.
當上帝創造加拿大的時候 When God created Canada,
就好像宇宙放了個屁 it was like the universe farted.
為什麼那些胖胖老是騎著 Why do all the fat one always ride around
這些助力車跑來跑去 on these little scooters?
你有停下來想過如果你走路的話 You ever stop and think that if you walk,
你有可能會變瘦嗎 you might actually be thin?
哇 Wow.
這些豬在騷擾殘疾人啊 These pigs are harassing the handicapped!
大家快看 拍個手機視頻 Everybody look. Take a phone video!
-嗨 別碰他 -嗨 這件事不會就這樣算了的 -Hey! Leave him alone! -Hey! This it is far from over.
-你想去TJ的商場嗎 -好 -You want to go to TJ's Arcade? -Oui.
我要去換些一塊錢的散錢 I have some loonie I need to break.
這很好 C'est bon.
屌毛法國佬 Fuckin' Frenchies.
你們兩個在幹嘛呢 逛商場嗎 What are you two doing together? Mall walking?
我們在寵物店偶遇了 We ran into each other at the pet store.
拉比特 你們想買一隻新的沙鼠嗎 Rabbit. You shopping for a new gerbil?
嗨 日內維奧 我們兩個去 Hey, Gwenevieve how about the two of us
那家薩斯喀徹溫宮殿 go over to the Saskatchuan Palace
吃個餛飩麵 and get a wang dang doodle?
呃 不 Uh, non.
噢 汪汪 再加兩聲狗叫我就咬了 Ooh, woof woof. Put a little bark on that and I'll bite.
好吧我要走了 Okay, I'm going to go.
真高興見到你 It was great seeing you.
不要記到我的賬上 Don't leave on my account.
呵 真神氣 不是嗎 Uh-huh! Cocky, huh?
我們打的賭還算數嗎 How about we up the bet?
我們沒打賭 法爾瓦 There is no bet, Farva.
好 那我們再打個賭好了 Okay, new bet then.
輸的人不僅要用鏟子切掉自己的小拇指 Loser not only cuts off his pinky toe with a shovel,
還要把它放到攪拌機裏攪拌 he puts it in a blender
然後打成奶昔喝掉 趾甲和其他雜碎都要哦 and drinks it in a smoothie, toenail and all.
去你的吧 Come on.
拉鉤上吊 一百年不許變 Shake it, don't mistake it.
你認真的嗎 You're serious?
就像我不會拿心臟病發作開玩笑一樣 Serious as a heart attack.
這個我很肯定 因為我試過兩次 And I should know. I've had two.
-哇 -小拇指奶昔 -Wow. -Pinky toe smoothie!
找人來清理一下這裏啊 Somebody clean this up.
婊子養的 Son of a bitch.
嗨 Hey!
熱成像眼鏡到貨啦 Heat goggles have arrived!
看起來很性感啊 邁克 Looking hot, Mac.
嗨 鍍鎳手銬 Hey, nickel plated cuffs!
噢 去 這些東西不怎麼好使啊 Oh, shit. These things are defective.
它們怎麼了 What's wrong with them?
它們好像鎖不上 They don't seem to lock.
來 給我看看 Here. Let me see.
嗨 拉比特 把手給我 Here you go, Rabbit, give me that hand.
-我這個沒問題能用 -可能是這個 -I got mine to work. -Maybe it's this one.
-好的 -噢 這個也很好用 可以 很好 -Okay. -Oh, yeah, that works. Okay, good.
-試試腳鏈 Try the ankle ones.
是的 你一定要試試腳鏈 Oh, you always gotta check the ankle ones.
那是最重要的 That's the most important.
完成啦 And here we go.
你們這群婊子養的 You son-a-bitches.
別刮我的蛋蛋毛 You're not shaving my balls!
如果我們不這樣做的話就侮辱了加拿大的習俗了 It would be an insult to our Canadian hosts if we didn't.
我不是新兵蛋子了 快解開我 I'm not a rookie anymore. Get these off me.
你不想做兩國善意的大使嗎 Do you not want to be an ambassador of goodwill?
不 我不想 快解開我 No. I don't. Get these off me.
拉比特 不是我們要刮你蛋蛋毛 Rabbit, it's not like we want to shave your balls.
桑尼 你想刮他蛋蛋毛嗎 Thorny, do you want to shave his balls?
-我嗎 打死都不要 -福斯特呢 -Me? Hell no. -Foster?
-不干 -你不想刮他蛋蛋毛對吧 法爾瓦 -No way. -You don't wanna shave his balls, do you, Farva?
我想刮很久了 Hell yeah, I do!
我甚至跑出去買了 I even went out and bought
一種舊的直刀片剃鬚刀 one of those old-timey straight razors.
-不 不 -快看看 -No. No. -Check this out.
我的天 Jesus!
狗日的加拿大電線 Goddamn Canadian wiring!
快把我電出屎了 It's wrecking my freakin' sperm count!
那還在吃Flova Scotia嗎 Are you still taking the Flova Scotia?
你是沒聽懂 What part of "Side effects include
"副作用包括陰道屁和婊裏婊氣"這句話嗎 "Queefing and bitchiness" Did you not understand?
兄弟 高潮真是太爽了 Dude, the orgasms are like a moonshot.
你不能一直吃女性荷爾蒙 You can't keep taking female hormones.
會讓你變紊亂的 It's gonna mess you up.
妒嫉我嗎 Jealous much?
你跟誰高潮呢你 Now who are you orgasming with?
她的名字是魁北克·黛比 Her name is Quebecois Debbie.
噢 桑尼 你的雞雞 好大啊 Oh, Thorny, your cock, she is so wide.
我會操她的 I'd fuck her.
-好吧我們來刮蛋蛋毛 -不 -Okay, let's shave this. -Don't.
準備好了嗎 Ready?
講真 便鬧了 兄弟們 Seriously, cut the crap, guys.
哎 Ahem!
我們崗哨站有一隻熊 There's a bear in the station.
這是想委婉的表達什麼嗎還是 Is that a euphemism for something?
我想委婉的表達有一隻他媽的熊 It's a euphemism for there's a goddamn bear
在他媽的崗哨站裏吃生肉 eating slabs of raw meat in the goddamn station!
-好吧 是熊 -好的 -Yeah. Bear. -Okay.
槍在哪裏 Where are the guns?
跟熊放到一起了 In the room with the bear.
催淚彈呢 Tear gas grenades?
-剛剛到貨 -真好 放在哪裏了 -I just got a new delivery! -There you go! Where is it?
-跟槍和熊放在一個屋子裏了 In the room with the guns and the bear.
我們放拉比特去屌那個熊怎麼樣 What if we send Rabbit out to fuck the bear
來吸引熊的注意呢 as a means of distracting said bear?
-好 -我去你們的 -Yes. -God damn it,
我們要把生肉扔出去 we've got to get the meat out of there!
好吧 靠 我去 Fine, fuck it. I'll do it.
-我跟你一起去 -真的嗎 -I'll go with you. -Really?
是的 最壞能發生什麼嘛 Yeah. What's the worst that could happen?
你被熊撕成一塊塊 You get mauled by the bear.
或者我把熊撕成渣 Or that bear could get mauled by me.
-你想過嗎 -不 我沒有 -You ever think about that? -No, I didn't.
好 計劃是這樣的 Okay, here's the plan:
我去那裏吸引那個熊注意 I'll go out there and distract the bear,
然後你去拿肉 while you get the meat
然後快速跑出崗哨站 and get it the hell out of the station.
推彈桿戰隊 Team Ram-Rod!
請不要用那樣糟糕的東西開頭 Please don't start with that shit.
祝你好運 夥計們 Good luck, fellas.
好的 你呆在那裏 Okay. You stay here.
大寶貝 嗨 大寶貝 Big boy. Hey, big boy!
-噢 天哪 -噢 不 -Oh, boy. -Oh, no.
來 迪克塔 來 來這裏 寶貝 Come here, Ditka. Come here. Come here, boy!
去 去 去 Go, go, go.
快 Come on!
快 快 Come on! Come on!
快 快 Come, come!
好 Okay.
非常好 Okay, okay.
去你的 蠢熊 Fuck you, bear.
完了 Shit.
完蛋了 Shit.
走 走 走 Go, go, go, go!
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
快走開 停 Get out of there. Stop.
-我應該開槍嗎 -打誰 法爾瓦嗎 -Should I shoot him? -Who? Farva?
喔 好主意 Ooh, good idea.
別別別 別過來 No, no! No, no, no.
快走開 Go away!
哦 Oh!
走開 熊 Get away, bear.
走 走 走 Go! Go! Go!
快點走 靠 Get out of here. Fuck.
我的媽呀 我差點就羊入"熊"口了 Holy shit, I "Bear-ly" Made it.
那真是被"熊"了 That could've been "Grizzly".
沒錯 Yeah.
有人在這裏喝了啤酒 I think someone took a "Growler" In here.
打他 Shoot him.
傻逼騎警 Fuckin' Mounties!
真他媽該死 Son of a bitch!
他們從我們到的時候就開始挑事 Those guys have been assholes since the moment we arrived
現在又想來搞死我們 and now they are trying to kill us.
現在他們不僅僅是把我們惹毛了 This goes a lot farther than just being angry
我看他們是不想好好過了 about losing their jobs.
老大 我們之前被他們用冰球襲擊過 Cap, we've been pelted by hockey pucks,
當面被他們用丁丁洗禮過 had dicks tugged in front of our faces
被同時擁有兩個性別的妓女踢過屁股 and gotten our asses kicked by prostitutes of both sexes.
我覺得是我們出手還擊的時候了 有人同意嗎 I think it's time we had our own fun. Who's with me?
對 我們要還擊 Yeah! Let's go!
哥們 你都他媽臭了 Dude, you fuckin' stink.
不好意思 Sorry.
哎 哎 有人在嗎 Guys! Guys! Anyone?
剃鬚膏開始蟄得慌了 The shaving cream is starting to burn.
你們用了薄荷嗎 Did you use menthol?!
脫髮 御姐又飢渴 Hair loss, queefing and bitchiness.
福羅瓦·斯科夏 誰試誰知道 Flova Scotia, eh?
媽的沒錯 他們是同一個人 哥們 Fuckin' rights. It's the same guy, bud.
不不不 不是一個 那個 No, no, no. It's a different guy, that guy, eh.
對 就是 他是丹尼·德維托 Yeah, no! That's Danny DeVito!
丹尼·德維托是[計程車]的演員 Danny DeVito is the actor from Taxi,
但是本寶寶喜歡的是 but that guy I like,
他演的那個[費城永遠陽光燦爛] he come out on Always Sunny in Philadelphia's.
哥們 他們是同一個人 Bud, they're the same guy.
你覺得世界上有幾個一米四五的演員 How many 145-centimeter actors do you think there are?
他們就是同一個人 丹尼·德維托 They're both Danny DeVito!
不是 丹尼·德維托的[計程車]都什麼年代的事了 No, Danny DeVito Taxi long time ago.
但是陽光燦爛的製作人 But this producer from Always Sunnys,
那麼喜歡他 they like him so much,
給他放進了劇裏 they put him it into the show, eh.
但是這不代表 不是一個人啊 兄弟 That doesn't mean they can't be the same guy, bud.
同一個人 不同的時期 That's one guy. It's a different era.
他可以在三十年出現在兩個劇裏 He can do two shows in fucking 30 years.
我們還要因為這個事杠幾次 How many times do we have to go over this?
這他媽明明是同一個人 It's the same fucking guy!
他說的沒錯 哥們 他倆是一個人 He is right, you know. It is the same guy.
丹尼·德維托在[計程車]裏 Danny DeVito was in Taxis
但他也在[費城永遠陽光燦爛]裏 but he is also in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's.
寶寶知道 我就是逗逗他 I know. I make joke on him.
他以為我不知道 但是寶寶心裏明白著呢 He think I don't know but I know, eh.
你知道我最喜歡的超級反派是啥麼 You know who is my favorite, uh, superhero villain?
蝙蝠俠裏的企鵝人 Is the Penguin from Batman film, eh.
那就是丹尼·德維托 兄弟 That's fuckin' Danny DeVito, bud.
搞搞清楚行不行 Get a fucking clue!
你剛剛說的就是丹尼·德維托 That's Danny DeVito you just said!
你敢相信嗎 Can you believe this fuckin' guy doesn't know
這個蠢貨連誰是丹尼·德維托都不知道 who Danny DeVito is?
你說誰 唱歌的嗎 Who you mean? The singer?
不是 是他媽的那個演員 丹尼·德維托 No, the fuckin' actor! Danny DeVito.
和雷亞·普爾曼他媽的結婚的那個 The guy who's married to Rhea Perlman!
我覺得他在[地獄男爵]裏演的挺好 Oh, I like him in Hellboy.
那是朗·普爾曼 That's Ron Perlman!
不重要 阿甘博 冰球又開始了 Doesn't matter. Archambault! Hockey is back on!
你們他媽的都有什麼毛病 What the fuck is wrong with you guys?
你們倆都有病 像從外星來的似的 Both of you. You're fucki'' from another planet.
簡直不能相信我們生活在一個國家 I can't believe we live in the same country.
那個該死的電話 Oh, the fucking phone
居然敢在他媽的加拿大冰球之夜響 is ringing during hockey night in Canada!
誰他媽的在加拿大冰球之夜打他媽的電話 Who is calling during hockey night in Canada?!
誰他媽的還一直不掛斷 Who the fuck even has a hard line anymore?
阿甘博 把那個該死的電話從牆上扯下來 Archambault, rip the fuckin' phone out of the wall!
接下來還要幹嘛 What's next? You're gonna have someone
賽點再接個該死的披薩外賣嗎 deliver a pizza during the fuckin' overtime?!
什麼他媽的情況 What the fuck?
你知道 我最喜歡的另一個人 You know, the other guy I like,
就是在[謀害老媽]裏 is the one giving Billy Crystal
給比利·克裏斯托找麻煩的那個 the problem in Throw Momma and the Trains.
你媽的 Holy merde.
給他拿下 Get him!
幹得漂亮兄弟們 Great fight, guys!
ADH4神槍手電牛棒 你值得擁有 Pennyworth ADH4 SureShot Cattle Prod.
每個警衛站都應該有一個 Every station needs one.
我喘不上氣了 I can't breathe.
我們知道就是你們幾個 我們能看見你們的鬍子 We know it's you guys. We can see your mustaches.
你們不能這樣把我們放在這 Come on, you can't leave us out here.
我們離樹林至少有一百公里 We are at least 100 kilometres in the woods!
可能還更遠 Maybe more, huh?
啊 摀住了 這邊有蚊子 Ah, tabernacle. Here come the mosquito.
我們有24小時 We got 24 hours
給這些蠢貨破點髒水 to desecrate the good names of these dickfucks.
浪起來 Let's do it!
浪起來 Let's do it.
駕照和登記表 License and registration, eh!
給 Here you go.
隊長 來一下隊長 Captain, come in, Captain.
-警官 -隊長 進來 -Officer. -Captain, come in.
警官 給你 Officer, here you go.
你聽見了嗎 隊長 Are you hearing anything, Captain?
你不覺得你們警官 You think maybe your buddy is getting
有點上歲數了嗎 我是說 耳背 a little old for this? I mean, a deaf cop?
誰說的 嗯 Who said that, eh?
哦 先生 你鼻子真挺 Ooh. You, sir, have the nose of a king.
等一會兒 我給你們開個罰單 Hold tight, I'm gonna get my ticket book.
呀 你們好哇 Ya! Hey there.
-駕照和登記表 -好吧 -License and registration. -All right.
快行動 駕照和登記表 Let's go! License and registration, eh!
什麼這麼好玩 What's so funny...
馬特·托蒙先生 ...Mr. Matt Tomon?
你覺得 我把蛋蛋落在拖拉機裏了 You think it's funny that
這個好笑嗎 I lost my balls in a tractor pull?
等一下 你們倆蛋蛋都被割了嗎 Wait, you both got your nuts ripped off
在拖拉機裏 in a tractor pull?
我把我的在自行車急剎的時候弄壞了 I lost mine in the spokes of my bicycle.
你知道我當時車騎得有多快嗎 You know how fast that will stop a bicycle?
喂 警官 Hey, Officer!
-嘿 你趴我車上了 -啥 -Hey, you're on my wagon. -What?
喂 醒醒 醒醒 Come on! Wake up! Wake up!
駕照和登記表 License and registration, hey?
等我一下下 'Scuse me one second, eh.
你這婊子 You bitch!
-回來你們 -哇哦 -Get back here, you! -Ow! Ow!
-你好 -嗨 -Hey, there. -Hi.
駕照登記表 License and registration.
你們不是攔過我的那兩位嗎 Aren't you the two that pulled me over before?
你說什麼 Beg your pardon?
你們怎麼變成騎警了 還是我應該說喵警官 How are you Mounties now? Or should I say Meow-nties?
說啥呢 Say what now?
幾年前 你把我攔下了 Few years ago, you pulled me over
你玩過那個 說喵的遊戲 and you played some game where you said "Meow."
哥們 這幾年來 Buddy, I've said a thousand stupid things
我對別人說過上句蠢話 to people over the years.
你問過我 看沒看過你活潑又可愛的 You asked if I saw you jumping around
從一棵樹跳到另一個樹上 all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree?
我跟你保證我這輩子從來沒說過這種 I can assure you I've never said the words
什麼"活潑又可愛" "Nimbly-bimbly" In my life.
-你這個蠢貨 -你這個婊子 -You fucker! -Oh, you bitch!
那個見鬼的車哪去了 Where's the gosh darn cruiser?
兄弟 你搭檔馬上就要被撞了 Dude, your partner is about to get mucked!
你要去哪 先生 不許動 Where you going, mister? Freeze!
哦 哇哦 Ow. Ow!
哥們 Bro!
等一下 你真的不記得這個傢伙了嗎 Hang on. Do you really not remember this guy
還是你跟他鬧著玩呢 or you just fuckin' with him?
真的 我一點都不知道他是誰 Yeah, I have no idea who he is.
你知道我能聽見嗎 You know I heard everything you said.
混蛋 我們都那麼干了好幾年了 Son of a bitch. We've been doing that for years.
沒事 你要給我罰單了還是 Forget it. Am I getting a ticket here, or...
你知道嗎 我要搞清楚這個問題 You know what? I want to get my head around this
因為這事能把我逼瘋 'cause now it's driving me crazy.
這麼的 我們換一下 你扮我 我當你 Let's do this. We'll switch. You'll be me, I'll be you
你演一下當時發生了什麼 and then you'll do the routine.
什麼 好吧 What? All right.
你沒問題的 沒問題 Ah, you'll kill it, you'll kill it.
駕照和登記表 喵 來 喵 License and registration meow. Come on, meow.
嘿 現在我記起來了 Hey! Now I remember it!
-我記得了 -你記起來了 -I remember it now. -You remember that.
與此同時 永遠不要把車鑰匙給一個陌生人 In the meanwhile, never give your car keys to a stranger.
怎麼了 Why is that?
再回 蠢貨 See you, sucker!
我知道一直都是你 混蛋 I knew it was you the whole time, asshole!
這都發生了什麼 哼 What the hell's going on here? Huh?
好像有人在吸大麻 Looks like someone's smoking the reefer joints.
不 那不是大麻 No, that's not marijuana.
那我們來看看 We'll see about that.
法爾瓦 這不是個好主意 Farva, that's not a good idea!
他媽... What's the...
真的發生這種事了 Okay, this is happening.
抱歉 Sorry.
我們從美國來 We're from America.
我們不說法語 We don't speak French.
哦 Oh.
你們倆都不說英語嗎 Do neither of you speak English?
-我說 -哦 -I do. -Oh.
嗯... Em...
你的紙 Your papers.
我們想吃一下你的紙 We would like to eat your papers.
能給我看一下你的黨文嗎 Can you show me your party papers?
-你們想看我們的黨文 -黨文 -You want to see our party papers? -Party papers?
好 活著 魚湯 Bon vivant bouillabaisse,
死胡同 池塘 雞 藍帶 cul de sac, les serve chicken cordon bleu.
了不起的 紅棒棒 Formidable Baton Rouge.
沒有膽量還是火焰 好麵包 馬爾蒙酒店 No bles or blis, o bon pain Chateau Marmont?
-奶酪火腿三明治 -奶酪火腿三明治加蛋 -Croque monsieur? -Croque madame!
不 Non!
太傻了 Est stupid!
詹姆斯弟兄 灰玩具 薩德侯爵 Frere Jacques, Grey Poupon, Marquis de Sade,
吶喊炮塔 tourette whoop!
雞毛撣子 牛角麵包 悲慘世界 Feather duster, croissant, Les Miserables,
屁捕手 盧克羅賓漢 阿爾塔尼昂 fart catcher, Luc Robitaille, D'artagnan,
皮埃爾 弗蘭塔肯臀 完美花生醬 Perrier, Fran Tarkenton, peanut butter parfait.
淡香水 Eau de toilette!
警官 不好意思 Officers? I'm sorry.
你們 你們很明顯是... You're, you're obviously in...
不不不不不 No, no, no, no, no.
我必須為我和我搭檔道歉 I must apologize, uh, for me and my partner.
我們不應該打架 We should not fight.
吵架是不會通往更好的生活的 To argue is no way to go through the life.
沒錯 I know.
-你知道生活的關鍵是什麼嗎 -是什麼 -Do you know the key to life? -What's that?
生活的關鍵是一個... The key to life is a...
雞雞在你屁眼裏 a penis in your asshole.
先生 請你再說一遍 I beg your pardon, sir!
我覺得你肯定說錯了什麼 I think you must be saying that wrong!
不不不 人生的關鍵就是雞雞在你屁眼裏 No, no, no. The key to life is a penis in your asshole.
我覺得你想說的不是這個 I don't think you're saying what you mean to say.
是的 就是這樣 Oui! Oui! Oui!
雞雞 A penis. A penis.
你懂得 呃 就是那個 開心起來 笑起來 You know, eh, eh, to smile. To be happy.
噢 Oh!
快樂 "Happiness!"
親愛的 那是 Honey! It's...
好吧 Okay.
在你的屁眼裏 In your asshole.
呃 That's...
你的屁眼 就是那個 你住的地方 Your asshole. Eh, where you live.
你的公寓 你的住所呀 Your apartment, your domicile.
你的房子 Your house.
-"家" -啊 我懂了 -"Household!" -Ah!
生活的關鍵在於家庭的美滿 "The key to life is happiness in your household!"
對 生活的關鍵在於雞雞在你屁眼裏 Oui, the key to life is "A penis in your asshole"!
-喔 -我也是想這麼和她說的 -Oh! -I'm trying to tell her that.
你覺得我說了啥 What you think I say?
天哪 我還是不太想說出來 Oh, I don't even want to tell you.
他們可能會覺得很好笑 Maybe they'll get a kick out of it.
我們以為你說 We thought that you said,
生活的關鍵是一個雞雞在你的屁眼裏 that the key to life is a penis in your asshole.
該死的 Sacrebleu, non!
你們美國人覺得每個人都想上你們 You Americans think everyone want to fuck you!
根本沒人這麼想 No one want to fuck you!
放狗屁 Merde!
這是你的單子 Here is your party papers!
我還以為加拿大人很友好呢 I thought Canadians were nice.
喂 喂 等等我 Whoa! Whoa! Wait for me. Okay.
我剛剛在想 我們說不定可以 I was thinking we could do like
做一個像"誰在一壘"那種的套衫 a "Who's on First?" Pullover.
"拉比特和福斯特" 你懂得 老舊喜劇段子 "Rabbit and Fostello." You know, old-time comedy.
-很棒 -噢 -Love it. -Ooh.
-他們怎麼這麼快回來 -該死的 -How are they back so quick? -Shit! Shit, shit, shit!
-我日 -快快快 -Shit! -Go, go, go, go!
這些狗娘養的傻逼在這裏 There are these son-of-a-bitch guys, eh!
我今天就要打死你們 Stomp you a new mudhole!
噢噢 哇哦 Whoa, whoa!
你們怎麼了這是 What the hell happened to you guys?
他們把我們扔在樹林裏了 They dump us in the woods!
什麼鬼啊 我們為什麼要那樣做 我們可是警察 What?! Why would we do that? We're the police.
太糟了吧 我爸每年夏天 Too bad for you my dad dropped me in the woods
-都把我裸體地扔到樹林裏去 -啊 -naked every summer! -Hah?
噢 聽起來很慘 Oh, sounds too bad for you.
你知道你做了什麼 看看我們 Come on. You know you do this. Look at us.
我們全被塗的亂七八糟 We are paint all red, white and blue.
那些難道不是法國國旗的顏色嗎 Aren't those the colors of the French flag?
哦 對啊對啊你說得對 法國國旗的顏色 Oh, the color the French flag.
可能做這事的傻逼是個英國人 Perhaps the guys who did this were British.
也可能是哥斯達黎加人 Could've been Costa Rican.
誰想吃卷餅啊 Who wants breakfast burritos?
快把那個脫掉不然我就打死你 Take that off or I'll kill you.
現在我們要用加拿大人的方式解決這事 Let's settle this the Canadian way!
你現在是在美國 You're in America now!
嘿 你們在幹嘛 Hey! What's going on here?
蒂姆·霍斯頓的幽靈 Great Tim Horton's ghost!
首先 我接到一個電話 First, I get a call that the Mounties
說騎警在高速上搗亂 are out farting sideways on the highways.
然後我又接到電話讓我們到這裏來 Then I get a call to come down here.
噢 不是我們幹的 Oh, it wasn't us!
這些傻逼 綁架了我們 These fucking guys, they kidnap us
然後把我們扔在樹林裏讓我們自生自滅 and they leave us in the woods to die.
沒錯 然後他們還偷走了我們的三件制服 Yeah, then they steal all three of our uniform, eh.
這些人放了一頭真正的熊在我們站台裏 一頭真正的熊啊 大熊 These guys put a bear in our station! A real bear. Big bear!
你一點證據也沒有 You don't have any proof of that.
一頭真的熊嗎 A real bear?
可能是吧 或者他們需要點顏色看看 Maybe. And maybe they deserve a bear!
沒人需要熊 Nobody deserves a bear!
我要丟一隻熊給你 I give a bear to you!
我們當時有可能被吃掉你知道嗎 We could have been eaten!
你在笑什麼 Why you laughing, Guy?
你們想的都是錯的 Fellas, you are thinking about this all wrong, eh?
這些人嗎 他們是假的警察 These guys? They impersonated officers.
根本不存在他們想保住自己的工作之類的 There is no way they're holding onto their jobs.
我會為你做的更好的 And I'll do you one better.
等我和我的朋友賈斯汀·特魯多談完之後 When I get done talking to my good friend Justin Trudeau...
呃 就是那個首相 Eh, the Prime Minister!
我保證這件事 I bet you this whole turnover thing
馬上就會被解決 goes right out the window.
哼 Boom!
所以咧 打開你們的包 把那些電纜線解開 So, boys, unpack your bags. Revive those cable bundles.
因為你們哪也不許去 'Cause you are not going anywhere.
我的意思是我們要慶祝一下 早餐想吃什麼 I say we celebrate. What are we having for breakfast?
-煎餅 -煎餅 是嗎 -Pancake. -Pancake, yeah?
好的 麥片和葡萄乾 All right. Oatmeal and raisins it is.
-別啊 -開玩笑的 我們就吃煎餅 -Oh. -Kidding. It's pancakes.
太好了 煎餅 放兩個雞蛋怎麼樣 Eh, pancake! Maybe two eggs side by each, eh?
我不想吃這個麥片 I don't want this oatmeal.
你可以把葡萄乾放在煎餅裏 Maybe you put the raisins inside the pancake.
日內維奧 等一下 Genevieve, wait.
你自找的 You brought this on yourselves.
他們把一隻熊... They put a bear...
這真是太糟了 This is bad, fellas.
糟的沒話說了 This is "Fred Savage Ridin'-Along Incident" Bad.
你把剛剛說的告訴弗萊德·薩維奇 Tell that to Fred Savage.
好吧不管怎麼說 不要浪費做好的早餐 Well, no sense in having good breakfast go to waste.
-我沒胃口了 -啊 真抱歉 -I've lost my appetite. -I'm sorry, man.
我只是不太餓 I'm just not hungry.
你想為人們做點好事 You try to do something nice for people,
然後它就 就 and then it just, I just, you know.
有什麼用呢 What's the point?
不要再和個娘們兒似的了 Stop taking female hormones!
我們可以進去嗎 隊長 Can we please come in, Cap?
他已經纏了我很多年了 He's taking years off my life.
就是一些慘淡的時日罷了 孩子 Just the bad years, kid.
隊長 我是認真的 我馬上就要像小枝芽一樣被折斷了 I'm serious, Cap. I'm about to snap like a dry twig.
這邊的事情還是有一定危險的 最好不要讓法爾瓦摻和進來 Things are still pretty dicey here. Best keep Farva away.
等這邊安全了我們會通知你的 We'll let you know when the coast is clear.
你有聽說過新卡內嗎 Have you heard the new Kanye?
他真的是個很厲害的歌手 He's not just about big butts! He's a really good singer.
這真的太好聽了 就像重返馬路了一樣 This is great. It's like being on the road again.
我喜歡上路的時候嚼薄荷味口香糖 I like to chew mint gum when I'm on the road.
聽音樂的時候我喜歡水果味地 When I'm radio, it's fruit.
你懂吧 就是果汁很多的那種 像八寶麗仕口香糖和大大泡泡糖 You know, like Juicy Fruit, Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba.
反正就是果汁多的 Anything fruity.
但是在馬路上是我喜歡薄荷味的 On the road, I like mint, though.
薄荷 薄薄薄 薄荷 Mint, mint, mint, mint, mint.
還有山毛櫸堅果 你吃過那個嗎 And Beech-Nut, have you tried that?
他們應該叫他山毛櫸納特 They should call it "Beech-Not!"
我去 我要把它寫下來 Oh, shit, I'm gonna write that down.
你喜歡嚼哪種口香糖啊 What kind of gum do you chew?
他們應該做一種黑色的薄荷糖 They should make a black mint gum.
那樣應該很好 That would be choice.
應該叫他薄荷黑口香糖 They could call it "Minty Black".
沒錯 這個我也要寫下來 Yeah, I'm gonna write that down too.
-根本沒人會買那種東西 -什麼 -No one would buy that. -What?
沒人會買那種傻逼口香糖 No one would buy that stupid gum.
胡說八道 Bullshit.
他們肯定會買的如果把它放在朋友網上 They'd buy it if it was on Friends.
比如說羅斯和雷切爾嚼過的話 Like if Ross or Rachel chewed it,
肯定會賣的很好 it'd sell like hotcakes.
你是神經病吧 Are you a mutant?
跟我下車 You follow me out here
在我撒尿的時候就跟我說這個 while I'm pissing just to tell me this shit?
還瞥我老二 Quit looking at my dick.
我沒看啊 你撒尿怎麼了 I'm not looking at your dick. We're taking a piss.
-對啊 我撒尿啊 -我可以呆這裏吧 -So, piss. -I don't have to go.
我要操那個加拿大人 I'll fuck that Canadian right in his back bacon!
羅德 羅德 Rod! Rod!
-沒錯 -法爾瓦 -Yeah! -Farva!
法爾瓦 Farva!
為什麼傻成這樣 Dumb fuck.
難以置信 Unbelievable.
誰會把安全氣囊打開 Who pops an airbag?
天哪 你這是有一噸吧 God. You weigh a ton.
你不是在和我開玩笑吧 別死在我身上了 法爾瓦 You gotta be shitting me. Don't die on me, Farva.
好吧 我相信你可以的 Okay. You can do it.
我操 Oh! Fuck!
從下面看 From upside down,
你的鬍子看起來像一個毛毛的笑臉 your mustache looks like a big hairy smile.
你幹嘛戳我啊 Why would you give me the Shocker?
這是我表達感謝你救了我命的方式 My way of saying, "Thanks, honey. You saved my life."
我本來死了 去了趟天堂 I was dead. I went to Heaven.
你竟然也在那裏 And you were there.
-你知道你這是在玩火嗎 -什麼鬼 -You know what you were doing? -What?
你是不是想和我親熱一下 親愛的 我來了 Trying to make out with me, sweetheart! I'm on to you.
過來啊 再親兩口 Come here. Give me some more of that.
那個是什麼東西 What the hell is that?
嘿 拉維恩 Well, hello, Laverne!
看起來好像和那些東西一樣 Looks like the same stuff.
沒錯 但是多多了 Yeah, but a shit-ton more of it.
我的媽誒 Holy Hindu holidays.
又多了個新傢伙 There's a new guest at the party.
AK-47s AK-47s.
嗨 Hey.
不不不 拉比特 我不想再聽到那些東西了 Oh, no, I don't want to hear it, Rabbit.
日內維奧 可以讓我解釋一下嗎 Genevieve, could I just explain?
沒什麼好解釋的 There is nothing to explain.
他們在我們那放了幾隻大熊 They put bears in our station.
這是加拿大 This is Canada!
熊到處都是 There are bears everywhere.
晚上還有很多熊 There are bears that go through
翻我的垃圾堆 my garbage every night.
我的熊麥片裏也有個熊出現 I have cereal with bears in it: Bearios.
加拿大最流行的早餐品牌 Canada's most popular breakfast.
有人說了熊麥片嗎 Someone say "Bearios"?
嘿 維奧 要不要來點 Hey there, Genny. Wanna grab some eats?
不用了謝謝 No, thanks.
你說考慮一下的話我會更高興 Turn that into a maybe and I'll have your baby.
是朗尼·拉魯什嗎 Lonnie Laloush?
老哥 那是我名字 不要一直重複好嗎 That's mon nom. Don't wear it out, eh?
要點熱咖啡嗎 我給你倒點 You want a hot coffee? I'm pouring.
好的 麻煩你了 Oui, s'il te plait.
他看起來像個混蛋 對嗎 Seems like a real "Dickwa-duh", huh?
我和每個人都說你很棒 I told everyone how wonderful you all are.
但是 你並不是 你心眼太壞了 Well, you're not. You have bad hearts.
誰想要一點酸奶油嗎 Who wants creme fraiche?
沒人嗎 Nobody?
好吧 不要酸奶油 Okay, no creme fraiche!
-請你走吧 -日內維奧 -Please just go. -Genevieve...
快走吧 Just go.
他們其實是AK-48s 在美國是非法持有的 They're actually AK-48s. Illegal in the U.S.
為什麼是48 Why 48?
因為它們可以多存一發子彈 Because they hold one extra bullet.
對啊 你不會想到的 Yeah, sure. You never know
說不定什麼時候你就差那一發 when you're gonna need just one more.
這個上面寫的是老虎大屌 This one says "Tiger Penis".
含住 Suck it!
你可閉嘴吧 法爾瓦 Shut up, Farva.
中國人好像吃這個東西讓它變硬 The Chinese use it to get hard-ons.
我用過一次 I tried to get it once.
美國是買不到的 You can't buy it in the United States.
喂 你鬍子怎麼了 Dude, what's up with your mustache?
沒什麼啊 Nothing.
-你戴的是假鬍子嗎 -不是的 -Are you wearing a mustache wig? -No!
這是個假髮 好吧 我掉了一些毛髮 It's a postiche, okay? I'm having a little hair loss.
別擔心 Don't worry about it.
管好你自己的鬍子吧 Worry about your own goddamn mustache.
混蛋 Fuckin' asshole.
嘿 邁克跟你們講了我們的小故事了嗎 Hey, Mac tell you guys about our little moment?
你講了沒 芝士通心粉 Did you, Mac and Cheese?
你跟我們講了 法爾瓦 我不想再聽一遍了 You told us, Farva. I don't want to hear it again.
我是你的芝士哦 I'm the Cheese.
好了 聽著 夥計們 All right, look, guys.
我知道我們現在處境不佳 I know we're in some serious shit here,
但如果我們能破掉這個案子 but if we can crack this case,
我們可能就能在這件事上 we might just be able to get
比那些加拿大騎警更占理一些 beyond this whole Mountie thing.
我們也沒做錯什麼啊 We didn't do anything.
福斯特 我們綁架並偽裝成了一群 Foster, we kidnapped and impersonated
有國家主權的警官 officers of a sovereign nation.
好吧 Right.
古巴雪茄 加拿大毒品 偽造手機 Cuban cigars, Canadian pills, counterfeit cell phones,
AK-48s和虎根偉哥 AK-48s and Tiger Penis.
這些東西有什麼共同之處 What's the link?
這些東西在美國都比它們在 All this stuff is more valuable in the U.S.
加拿大要更貴 than in Canada.
所以 這是一樁走私案 So, it's a smuggling operation.
有人想要把這些東西運過邊境 Someone's trying to move this shit over the border.
不 並不是 No, they're not.
仔細想想 Think about it.
這些東西現在就乖乖地呆在加拿大領土 對 沒錯 This stuff is just sitting on Canadian land. Yeah. Okay.
但當加拿大領土變成 But what happens when this Canadian land
美國國土了之後呢 becomes American land?
根本不需要運任何東西 這些東西就到美國了 No need to move it at all. It's already on U.S. Soil.
是的 Exactly, huh?
被動走私 趕上我一樣聰明了 Passive smuggling. It's my kind of crime.
所以 他們必須把這些東西都藏在邊境附近 So, they must have this shit stashed all along the border.
錯是沒錯 但他們是誰 Yeah. But who is "They"?
他們是誰們 Who "Are" They.
嘿 聽著 我之前就這麼說過 Hey, look, I said this earlier
但你們都不信還嘲笑我 and you guys laughed at me.
但我覺得就是加拿大騎警們 他們一個個都是爛人 不是嗎 But I think it's the Mounties. They are shit people. Okay?
而且他們吸古巴雪茄 我們都見過的 And they smoke Cubans cigars. We've seen that.
他們馬上就要被調到鬼知道是哪的地方 They're getting transferred to God knows where.
他們還有什麼可損失的呢 I mean, what do they have to lose?
我開始同意我們的神探福斯特了 I am starting to agree with Sherlock McSerpico over here.
嗚 Ooh!
我跟你們講 夥計們 I'm telling you, fellas.
以我的經驗 壞人永遠都是當地警察們 In my experience, it's always the local cops.
[超級騎警1中的反派是當地警察]
要是我能幹掉那隻鳥 你們給我些啥 What would you guys give me if I kill that bird?
法爾瓦 那是只禿鷹 Farva, that's a Bald Eagle!
搞個假髮戴吧 死禿子 Get a wig, baldy!
耶 Yeah!
把那該死的槍放下 Put the goddamn gun down.
啥 What?
哦 我贏啦 夥計們 我的獎品是啥 Oh, booyah! Guys, what do I win?
一張通往地獄的單程票 A one-way ticket to hell.
[在北美屠殺禿鷹是違法的]
這個餐廳比詭計餐廳差遠了 This place wishes it was Shenanigans.
[詭計餐廳為超級騎警1中法爾瓦喜歡的一家餐廳]
歡迎光臨奸計餐廳 Welcome to Chicanery's, eh!
需要一個包間嗎 Can I get you a booth?
呃 不用了 我們是來找人的 Uh, no. We're meeting somebody here.
哦 那 他就在那 Oh, yeah, there he is.
隊長 Cap!
老大 我們在四處找你 Chief, we've been looking all over for you.
隊長 隊長 隊長 我們好像發現了什麼 Cap, Cap, Cap, I think we've figured it out!
老大 我們好像破案了 Chief. I think we cracked the thing.
你們幹啥 你們幹啥 What are you doing? What are you doing?
我等了一個小時才等到 I've been waiting here for an hour.
我覺得你應該會想知道的 I think you're gonna want to know this.
-輪到我唱歌了現在 -我知道 但聽著 我覺得我們... -This is my song. -I know, but listen, I think we...
-看不見我在唱歌嗎 給我坐下 -不 不 不 -I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down. -No, no, no.
我在唱歌 I'm singing here.
我在唱歌 都給我坐下 I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down!
你們要點些什麼 What can I get for you guys?
冰鎮啤酒 一升可樂 Maybe a cold beer? Liter of cola?
你說啥 What did you say?
你要不要點一升可樂 Do you want a liter of cola?
你們賣一升裝的可樂 You have that here?
[超級騎警1中法爾瓦曾因快餐店不賣一升裝的可樂和點餐員打了一架]
有啊 我們還有一個活動叫十升不過崗 Yeah, we got the Decaliter Delight.
我們給你一張打卡卡片 你喝夠十升可樂 You get a punch card, you rack up ten liters of cola,
我們免費送你一份甜點 get yourself a free dessert.
拿上來吧 拿上來吧 麻利兒的 Bring them all. Bring them all right now.
把十升都一塊拿上來吧 還有那個卡片 Bring all ten liters and the punch card.
現在就都上 I want it all right now.
來啊 Come on.
加拿大真炫酷 Canada's pretty awesome.
-噗噗 -呃 別這樣 -Boop boop. -Uh, don't do that.
-噗嗶噗噗嗶 -滾開 -Boop beep boo boop beep. -Cut the crap.
日內維奧 Genevieve?
我今天對你話說得太狠了 I feel terrible about what I said to you.
我知道我有點小題大做 I know I overreacted.
只是這個小鎮對於易主的事真的很生氣 It's just the town is so upset about the turnover.
沒事 Sure.
不管怎麼說 你不是一個壞人 Anyway, you are not a bad person.
即便你是個美國人 Even if you are American.
其實我也又在為你改變這點 Well, I've actually been working on that for you.
-為我 -是的 -For me? -Yeah.
駝鹿頭 加拿大啤酒 Moosehead. Canadian beer.
辣椒海貍 加拿大食物 Beaver chili. Tr貓s Canadien.
我還有在練習我的法語 And I've been working on my French too.
哦 我愛這首歌 Oh, I love this song!
哦 他讓我情不自禁回憶起夏日的豌豆湯 Oh, it reminds me of summers on Etang de la Soupe Aux Pois.
哇哦 唱的很不錯哦 Wow! That's very good.
哦 我可不會這麼誇自己 Oh, I wouldn't say that, but,
我其實都不知道這首歌講的什麼 I don't even know what it means.
這是一首關於納粹佔領德國的悲情歌曲 It's a sad song about the Nazi Occupation of France.
哦 Oh.
對不起 我... I'm sorry. I...
不 不 不 No. No, no.
它講述了一對戀人 It's about two lovers
身陷一場兩人都不願看到戰爭之中 trapped in a war that neither wanted,
去仍然深愛著對方的故事 but they love each other anyway.
哦 Oh.
現在聽起來好多了 So much better.
-真的要這樣嗎 -哦是的 -Is this really happening? -Oh, yes.
就喜歡這樣 I love it.
等 等 等 Wait, wait, wait.
-哪個是那個胖子的桌子 -就這個 -Where is the fat one's desk? -Right there.
好的 Okay.
你不知道他叫什麼 You don't know his name?
弗拉烏拉 Flarvla.
聽起來是個不錯的新外號 I smell a new nickname.
我們可能要快點 Guess we hurry.
被動走私 有一手啊 Passive smuggling? It's brilliant.
而且肯定是那幫加拿大騎警 And it's gotta be the Mounties.
為什麼 Why?
因為壞人永遠都是當地警察啊 'Cause it's always the local cops.
你的打卡卡片 Here's your punch card.
五 六 七 八 Five, six, seven, eight.
九升 這是第十杯了 Number nine. This is ten.
嚴格意義上講 你必須把十升全部喝完我們才會上甜點 Technically, you have to drink all ten to get the dessert.
哦 看來你是不服了 Oh, you challenging me?
我三秒就能喝完這杯 This will be gone in three seconds.
聖誕黃油蛋撻我要定了 I'll have the butter tart yule log.
來吧 麻利兒的 Come on. Chop-chop!
就給他吧 兄弟 Just do it, dude.
加拿大萬歲 Canada!
對我們的有利情況是 And the beauty is,
在這片土地正式劃分為美國領土之前 there's nothing they can do with all that contraband,
他們對這些贓物無可奈何 until this land becomes America.
所以我們要做的就是延遲領土易主 So all we have to do is push back the turnover,
知道我們把剩下的所有贓物都搜捕到 until we can find the rest of the stuff.
但是 你也聽到勒弗朗克說的了 Well, you heard LeFranc.
鬼知道這片領土什麼時候易主啊 Who knows what's gonna happen with the turnover?
無論什麼時候 我們都必須破掉這個案子 Whatever happens, we gotta solve this case. Now.
我們再去仔細看看那些贓物 Let's take another look at that contraband.
沒準錯過了什麼 We may have missed something.
等一下 我的甜點還沒上呢 Hold on! I didn't get my free dessert.
走 法爾瓦 Move it, Farva!
喂 那可是個聖誕黃油蛋撻啊 Come on! It's a fucki'' butter tart yule log!
我們走 麻利兒的 Let's go! Now!
該死 Damn it.
哦 喔 看路 老哥 Oh! Whoa! Watch it, pal.
再走快點 金手指 Walk faster, finger blaster.
日了狗...拉比特 Son of a... Rabbit!
喔 Whoa!
喔 贓物不見了 Whoa! The booty's gone!
他們把春藥都拿走了嗎 Did they take the Flova Scotia?
還有拉比特 In addition to Rabbit!
先別急 拉比特的車 Hold your bones. Rabbit's car.
行車記錄儀 快看 The dash cam! Look at this.
哦 你這個小機靈鬼 Ooh, you clever little prick, you.
鬼 你們為什麼總是罵我 Prick? I'm tired of these putdowns!
那是誇你呢 笨蛋 It's a compliment, shithead.
干你哦 死矮子 Fuck you, midget Burt Reynolds.
-嗯 -嗯嗯 -Mm. -Mm-mm.
哦 瞧這一對 Oh, a little m茅nage 脿 two.
嗯 Mm.
-啊 -對了 兄弟 -Ah. -Yeah, partner.
你們趕緊她選了福斯特沒選喔 Can you believe she picked Donnie Osmond over me?
-信啊 -我是說 沒人覺得震驚嗎 -Yes. -I mean, is anyone else shocked here?
-沒啊 -還是在我的桌子上 -No. -And on my desk?
閉嘴 法爾瓦 這不是開玩笑的時候 Shut up, Farva. This is serious.
-喔 -什麼鬼 -Whoa! -What the fuck?
我們現在該怎麼找到他們 Now how are we gonna find them?
那些愛瘋手機的號碼都一樣 All those iPhones had the same number.
現在 要是我們有一個三角測量儀 Now, if we only had a triangulator,
我們就能定位他們了 we could locate them.
啊哈 聽見了沒 你們這群混蛋 Aha! Take that, you bastards.
這裏就是那些手機了 Those are the phones right there.
放大 Enhance.
好吧 但這是哪啊 All right, but what is this place?
放大 Enhance.
-放大 -好 好 -Enhance. -Okay, okay.
"Sciere de la Vache." "Sciere de la Vache."
好吧 你們會說法語 這什麼意思 All right, you guys speak French, what does that mean?
我不知道sciere是什麼意思 I don't know what sciere means
還有Vache的意思我也不知道 and I also don't know what vache means.
也就是說你啥都不知道咯 So you really don't understand anything?
Sciere de la Vache Sciere de la Vache?
我覺得應該是"恐怖花瓶" I believe it's "The Scary Vase".
來 來 讓我們想想 sciere是甲蟲 Yeah, yeah. Let's see, sciere is "Beetle".
-甲蟲花瓶 不 對 -對 對 對 對 -Beetle vase. No. Yes. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
但是vache是生氣 生氣的甲蟲 But la vache is "Angry". "Angry Beetle."
-對了 -對 生氣的甲蟲 我們覺得是 -Okay. -Yeah. Angry Beetle, we think.
那是"奶牛的鋸木廠" 你們一群蠢貨 It's "The Sawmill of the Cow", you idiots!
那是個鋸木廠 It's a sawmill!
-為什麼是"奶牛的鋸木廠" 不 -說不通的啊 -Why "Sawmill of the Cow"? No. -It doesn't make any sense.
我們走 Let's go and give those Canuckleheads
去給那些混球們 a good old-fashioned red-white-and-blue,
一些復古的三色旗顏色看看 fist-fucking!
耶 我們走 Yeah! Let's do it!
槍 槍 槍 Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun!
喔 Whoa!
該死 Shit.
嘿 靠邊停 我要尿尿 Hey, pull over. I gotta take a pee-ahs.
不該喝那麼多飲料的 Shouldn't have drank all that soda.
你知道嗎 我突然想起來 You know, it just now occurred to me,
咋倆好像從來沒有獨處過 you and I have never been alone together before.
是的 感謝上帝 Yeah, thank God.
講真 我們有一對一地說過話嗎 Seriously. Have we ever had a one-on-one conversation?
我為什麼要跟你一對一地說話 你一看就很無聊 Why would we? You seem like a pretty boring dude.
你還跟那個金髮警察搞在一起嗎 還是... You still banging that blonde cop, or...
他們要他媽去哪 Where the hell are they going?
剛才那應該拐的 後面那 That was the turn, back there.
你確定嗎 我不覺得啊 Are you sure? I don't think so.
你是不是已經找不著北了 Have you completely lost your sense of direction?
你這樣對我大喊大叫有什麼用 Well, your yelling at me certainly doesn't help!
隊長沒錯 桑尼 要在那兒轉彎 Cap's right, Thorn. That was the turn.
閉嘴吧 完美先生 Shut up, Mr. Perfect.
咳 Whoa!
我看到了 I saw that!
女性春藥藏哪兒了 Where are those female sex pills?
隊長 Cap!
給我 把它們給我 Give them me! Give them me!
謝謝你了 Thank you.
沒看到拉比特 No sign of Rabbit.
但有兩輛加拿大騎警汽車 But I got two Mountie cars...
還有我們的走私貨 and our contraband.
法爾瓦滾哪兒去了 Where the hell's Farva?
啊哈 被我逮個正著 Ah. I got him.
他這是自帶水熱爆炸屬性啊 He's like a walking hydrothermal explosion.
想不想看放屁造影術 You want to see some fartography?
我會回來 I'm still gonna go back
搞定這些奶油塔聖誕柴 and get that butter tart yule log.
行了 小伙子們 去擠奶了 All right, boys. Let's milk this cow.
上次我搬過這玩意 I moved this stuff the last time.
我也不想動它 I don't want to lift it either.
你什麼都不用搬 You don't move anything.
不勞你動手 不用搬盒子 You don't move your body, you don't move boxes.
一 二 三 走起 One, two, three, go!
都不要動 你們被捕了 Alright freeze! You're under arrest!
屁話 你才被捕了 Bullshit, eh! You're under arrest!
放屁 你們這群天殺的走私犯 Bullshit, you fucking smugglers!
我們不是走私犯 你們才他媽是吧 We're not the smugglers! You're the fucking smugglers.
我們不是他媽的走私犯 We're not the fucking smugglers!
你們是他媽的走私犯 You're the fucking smugglers!
嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
所有人 放下槍 Everyone, lower your weapons!
好像哪裏不對勁 Something's not right.
停 停 停 薑還是老的辣 Wait, wait, wait. The old-timey one is right.
事情不對勁 Something doesn't add up here.
-哦 媽的 -媽的 你們這群天殺的走私犯 -Oh, shit! -Die, you fucking smuggler!
法爾瓦 你這蠢貨 Farva, you idiot!
放下槍 放下槍 Put the gun down! Put the gun down!
去你的 去你的 Fuck you. Fuck you.
他媽的把槍放下 Put down the fuckin' gun!
放下槍 我不想開槍 Drop the gun, I don't want to shoot!
他媽的加拿大人 You fuckin' Canadians!
冷靜 Cool.
你們犯什麼渾 What the fuck are you guys doing?
出場很及時 是吧 Apropos, right?
上 互殺 Go on, kill each other.
"先斬後奏"的禮節呢 What ever happened to "Shoot first and ask questions later"?
額 搞什麼 夥計們 Uh, what the shit, Guy?
你為什麼說他們是走私犯 哈 Why you tell us these guys are the smuggler, huh?
呃 總好過告訴你 Well, it's a lot smarter than telling you
我是走私犯 that I'm the smuggler.
什麼意思 你才是走私犯嗎 What do you mean, you're the smuggler?
對不住了 不然我能幹啥 I'm sorry, but what else was I gonna do?
去當加拿大小城的市長 Being the mayor of a small Canadian town
聽起來不錯浪漫 sounds romantic and cool.
去當美國小城的市長 Being the mayor of a small American town
聽起來好像你混得很差似得 講真 sounds like you're a loser. For reals.
你得承認這是一個絕妙的騙局 You got to admit it's a good scam.
而且還發生在邊境 All along the borderline.
但是我沒想到的是 But I never would've thought that
那夥計和弗雷德·薩維奇事件有關 the guys from the Fred Savage incident,
分分鐘讓我露出破綻 would be the ones to trip me up.
他們是幹掉的弗雷德·薩維奇的警察嗎 These are the cops that killed Fred Savage?
令人難過 Sadly.
但我還是要說 條子之間火拚 But I will say, this little rivalry between police forces,
是把你們通通趕走的絕佳機會 is the perfect opportunity to take you both out.
呵 我們才是要把你們通通抓來 Well, now we're taking you in.
對不住了 I'm sorry.
那不是劇本的發展方向吧 But that's not the way it's going to go.
亨利 表現好一點 Henri, if you would be so kind.
-不 -哦 天哪 -No! -Oh, Jesus.
-見鬼 -注意了 -Holy shit! -And do pay
-大幕後面有好戲上演 attention to that man behind the curtain.
你們的拉比特遲鈍得很嘛 Your Rabbit wasn't quick enough.
也許下次 他溜得能快一些 Maybe next time, he'll hop a little faster, eh?
如果他有個三長兩短 If anything happens to him,
我他媽干死你 I'm gonna fuck you six ways to Sunday!
老天 現在我知道誰吞光了我的女性春藥 Jeez Louise. Now I know who gobbled all my Flova Scotia.
現在 放下槍 So, drop your guns,
否則拉比特和他的馬子 or the Rabbit and his girlfriend
上演一場五馬分屍的時尚秀 will multiply in gruesome fashion.
抱歉 I'm so sorry.
讓她走 朋友 她是無辜的 Let her go, Guy. She has nothing to do with this!
呃 如果他們放下槍 Well, if they put their guns down,
那麼她就不會有事 no harm will come to her.
聽到了吧 放下 Go on. Drop them.
放下槍 放下 Drop your guns. Drop it.
然後把手舉起來 Now get those hands in the air.
隨意一些 Like you just don't care.
那麼 準備好 So, are you ready...
接受大反轉了嗎 for the big twist?
搞什麼 What the fuck?
你在幹什麼 什麼鬼 What are you doing? What?
閉嘴 Shut the front door!
日內維奧 Genevieve.
發生了什麼 What's going on here?
他會殺了我 快解開我的鏈子 He'll kill me. Let me out of my chains.
你的動作也太他媽慢了 What the fuck took you so long, Guy?
先是我不得不給他吹簫 First I have to have his circumcised dick in me
然後又把我綁了這麼久 and then you tie me to this log?
開什麼玩笑 Are you fucking kidding me?
我恨你 I hate you!
我恨你 I hate you.
殺了他們 Shoot them.
全殺了 Shoot them all.
樂意之極 老闆 With pleasure, boss.
慢著 Hold on!
如果我要墮落 我要墮落成一個美國人 If I'm going down, I'm going down American!
好了 少賣弄破嗓子 All right, enough with that song.
殺 Shoot them.
快點 快來救救我的老二 Hurry, it's about to slice my johnson!
這不是真的 This is not happening.
要做的破事真不少 That was a hell of a thing to do.
感覺我的母性本能在呼喚我 I guess my maternal instinct is kicking in.
老母牛 La vache.
什麼 What?
幹掉那頭老牛 Shoot the cow.
啊哈 Ah!
壞了 我沒子彈了 Damn it! I'm out of bullets!
我還有一枚 I got one more!
發揮它的作用 Make it count!
哦 Oh!
哎呦 Ow.
愛死這第48枚子彈了 Gotta love that 48th bullet.
放下武器 放下 Drop it! Drop your weapon!
快點 站起來 Come on, get up from the dirt.
我要被閹了 I'm about to get neutered!
堅持住 Hang on!
快把它移走 Get this outta here!
快幫我解開這玩意 Get me off this!
我不這麼認為 I don't think so.
好了 你點燃了哈利法克斯大爆炸的引線 Okay. Now you've lit the fuse of the Halifax Explosion.
是 在我的日子 Yeah. In my day...
等你亮出大牙 when your big boy teeth came in,
你的曲棍球教練分分鐘給你拔了 your hockey coach would pull them out...
所以你不會錯過什麼轉變 so you wouldn't miss a shift.
是嗎 在我們國家 Yeah? In my country,
我們把這些瑣事交給牙僊處理 we let the Tooth Fairy deal with that shit.
你會知道這是怎麼一回事的 You would know all about fairies, wouldn't you?
來吧 干吧 混賬東西 Okay. Let's do this, moosefucker.
好啊 你確定要這麼做 Yeah, you want to do it?
-你想幹一場嗎 -是 放馬過來 -You wanna go? -Yeah. Let's go.
-沒錯 你確定嗎 你確定嗎 -是啊 我確定 -Yeah. You wanna go? You wanna go? -Yeah. I wanna go.
哦 沒教養嗎 Ooh, clip-on. Little tacky, eh?
沒錯 Yeah!
那是前曲棍球選手 That's one former hockey player
誰能關了那玩意 who can shut the puck up!
是吧 夥計們 Right, guys?
真他媽說得好 Shit, that was a good line.
快點 壞了 Come on, damn it!
哦 天哪 Oh, my God!
現在好了 現在好了 That's great! That's great!
你們犯什麼渾 What the hell is wrong with you guys?
沒一個靠譜的 It's like none of you Yanks ever operated
像是沒人會幹事一樣 an industrial grade rotary timber saw, eh?
嘿 你的口音怎麼了 Hey! What about your accent?
我是安德莉亞·斯普納 安大略省警察 Andrea Spooner, Ontario Provincial Police.
-什麼 -閉嘴 -What? -Shut up!
什麼 What?
為什麼佛蒙特州高速公路巡警在這兒 Why is the Vermont Highway Patrol even here?
我做臥底已經三年 I've been undercover three years.
是特遣隊的成員 Part of a task force...
專攻犯罪組織 with the Organized Crime Unit
隸屬安大略省警隊 of the Ontario Provincial Police.
她是安大略省警隊的 She's down with OPP.
你們這群混蛋壞了我三年的成果 You assholes just blew three years of work for me.
我馬上就要接觸到他們的供貨商了 I was this close to getting their supplier.
現在我永遠找不到了 Now I'll never get them.
額 我樂意提供協助 Well, I'm happy to offer you full cooperation of our...
閉上臭嘴 Shut the fuck up!
嗯 Hm.
-哇哦 -哇哦 -Wow. -Wow.
嘿 夥計們 幫我一把 Hey, guys, do me a solid, eh?
一會兒你清理時 When you're sweeping up back there,
關照一下我的胸墊 keep an eye out for my falsies.
不了吧 你看起來不需要 Nah. You're not going to need teeth
你去哪兒 where you're going, eh.
你是我們的英雄 You were our hero, Guy.
擁有一座窯子的曲棍球選手 An hockey player who owned a whorehouse.
沒錯 想想你花了11年 Yeah, and to think you spent 11 years
在加拿大人的地盤耕耘 in the Canadian system.
紐西·拉隆德都要在墓裏翻跟頭 Newsy Lalonde would be rolling in his grave right now.
你在卡爾加裏會適應的很好 You would have fit in good in Calgary, eh.
說到一幫暴徒 Talk about a bunch of goon.
尤其是那個後衛 Especially that defenseman Bonchance.
最差勁 That guy is the worst.
真是個無賴 對吧 What a mucker, that guy, eh?
不 他38歲進了北美曲棍球聯盟 No, he end up in the QSPHL by the time he's 38.
無聊 Boring!
放鬆 放鬆 Easy! Easy!
啊 哦 Ah! Oh!
他來了 There he is!
他們用日本國旗把你裹起來了 They wrapped you in the Japanese flag.
嘿 夥計 謝謝救我 Hey, man, thanks for saving my life.
真不知道沒有你我會怎麼辦 I don't know what I would have done without you.
哦 沒事 我不需要一個擁抱 Oh, that's okay, I don't need a hug.
不是給你的 It's not for you.
好吧 Okay.
小心 小心 小心 Careful, careful, careful!
老兄 你在泌乳嗎 Dude, are you lactating?
我只是按本能指示在做 行吧 I'm just doing what my body tells me to do, okay?
行 桑尼 你這個少婦 Okay, Thorn. You're the tits!
祝好運 拿下濕短袖競賽 Good luck with the wet T-shirt contest.
兄弟 Men.
感覺怎麼樣 How are ya feelin'?
哦 還行 Oh, it's okay.
抱歉剛剛說"我恨你"這種話 I'm so sorry about saying "I hate you" Back there.
我懂 抱歉我撒謊了 Yeah. I know. I'm sorry I lied.
真不敢相信我看不出來 I just can't believe I didn't know.
呃 你很貼心 但是耳根子軟 Well, you were very sweet, but also very gullible.
也許我們可以找機會聚一聚 Maybe you and I could get together
聽一些法國老歌 and listen to some old-timey French music...
等你痊癒 when that gets all healed up.
好的 沒問題 Yeah, sure.
操蛋的加拿大人 Fuckin' Canadian.
-給我50毫升的嗎啡 -Give me 50 cc's of morphine,
剃鬚膏還有剃刀 -要剃刀幹什麼 shaving cream and a razor. -A razor for what?
來給你的蛋蛋理個發 To remove the hair from your testicles.
我得給你縫合 I have to stitch you up.
為什麼你需要給我縫合 Why would you need to stitch me up?
這看起來就是個小傷口 It's like a paper cut.
我們所需要的就只是一個創可貼 好了 夥計們 All we need to do is get a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys!
性感的腹毛 Happy trails!
看起來那個騙子要把他的蛋蛋剃乾淨了 Looks like the rook's getting his nuts shaved after all.
-誰想喝咖啡 -好主意 -Who wants coffee? -Sounds good.
奧·海根隊長 Captain O'Hagan!
我聽說你和你的屬下最近幹件漂亮事 I hear you and your men did some good work.
是的 我們抓住了那些走私者 We did. We caught the smugglers.
再一次 Again.
那是什麼聲音 What the hell was that?
哦 媽的 Oh, shit.
完事了 Done and done.
有頭小豬在喊 "上帝啊 太疼了" This little piggy cried, "God damn! That hurt!"
你身上到底發生了什麼事 What the hell happened to you?
啊 我剛剛輸了場比賽 Ah. I just lost a pussy bet.
如果我腳趾指你 我就得殺掉你 If I "Toed" Ya, I'd have to kill ya.
哦 Oh!
小心我的腳 哦 小心我的腳 Watch the hoof! Ow! Watch the hoof!
警員們 我是卡桑德拉·安妮·加采克 五頻道記者 Officers! Cassandra Anne Gacek, Action Five News.
考慮到你是這次破產的當事人之一 Given your involvement with this bust
對於即使沒破產你仍然會被人頂替 how does it feel to know
你有何感想 that you are still being replaced?
啊 你知道 他們剛進門的時候我就想 Uh, you know, when they first arrive I am wondering:
"這些人是誰 "Who are these people
他們是來這拿走我們的土地的嗎" they come here taked our land?"
然後我找到了答案 哈 But then I have it, my answer, huh.
他們是英雄 They are heroes.
哦 Aw!
這些人... 他們用生命來捍衛我們的權利 These men... they putted their life on the line for us.
其中一個人 還救了我的命 One of them, he even saved my life.
就是這個有著棕色皮膚和濕濕的咪咪頭的男人 This tan guy here with the wet tits.
-但我們痛恨美國人 -我聽見你的話了 我聽見了 -But we hate Americans! -I hear you. I hear you.
但我還是得告訴你... But I have to tell you...
如果所有的美國人 if these gentlemen are an example
都和這些紳士一樣的話... of what it means to be American...
我沒事 I'm okay.
我也會為自己是個美國人而自豪 Then I am proud to be an American too.
-好吧 -我自豪 我為自己是個美國人而自豪 -All right. -I am. I'm proud to be American.
所以 我們現在要出發去北邊建立車站 So, we're leaving to start our station up north.
但是我可以很有信心的說 But I say with great confidence
我們把你們交給了最對的人 that we couldn't leave you in better hands
沒有人比佛蒙特高速巡警更合適了 than in those of the Vermont Highway Patrol.
成為這個星球最酷的混球你有什麼感受 How does it feel to be the coolest motherfucker on this planet?
還是你來告訴我吧 夥計 還是你來說吧 You tell me, buddy. You tell me.
哦 Aw.
啊 好吧 不好意思 Uh, yeah. Excuse me.
等一下 Hold on.
事實上 我來這是想告訴你 Actually, I'm here to tell you
美國與加拿大政府 that the U.S. And Canadian governments
已經決定了要推遲相互開放 have decided to postpone the turnover
直到其餘的藏匿的走私品都被找到 until the rest of the hidden contraband is found.
所以 等一下 So, wait.
我們算是加拿大人還是美國人 Are we Canadians or are we Americans?
現在你還算是加拿大人 You're still Canadians for now.
而且永遠是 And that's going to continue indefinitely.
很抱歉 Sorry.
好吧 現在這片地方都歸我們管轄了 是吧 Okay, so we are now in control of this area again, eh?
不 不 我們雙方都有管轄權 No, no. We both have authority.
你和你的授權 You got the authority to go take
都玩蛋去吧 a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
嘿 我們剛剛救了你的命 你這麼快就忘了 Hey, we just saved your lives, you remember that?
我們這有句諺語 We have an expression here.
是說 「你最近為我做了什麼」 It go, "What have you done for me lately?"
好吧 也許我們應該把你 Yeah, maybe we'll haul your ass
扒光了重新扔回樹林去 back out to the woods naked.
或者我們可以給你的白宮再放一把火 啊 Or maybe we could burn down your White House again! Eh?
你說的到底是什麼意思 What the hell does that mean?
1812年的戰爭 嗯 學學你們的歷史 The War of 1812, eh. Learn your history.
哦 你一拳快把他的鬍子打掉了 Oh! You punched the mustache right off his face!
不 不 不 看 他帶的是假鬍子 啊 No, no, no! Look, he's wearing a postiche, eh!
你別管他的假鬍子了 快干他們 You shut up about his postiche, come on!
你發現了什麼 What do you got?
樹上有隻貓 Cat in a tree.
啊 是啊 Ah, yeah.
嘿 弗雷德·薩維奇 Hey, Fred Savage.
-你好 -我是麥金太爾·沃馬科 -How's it going? -Macintyre Womack.
哦 見到你很高興 警官 Oh, pleasure to meet you, Officer.
卡爾·福斯特 Carl Foster.
見到你很高興 弗雷德 Nice to meet you. Fred.
那麼 你倆來幹什麼 要拍警察電影嗎 So, what's with the ride-along? You got a cop movie coming out?
啊 不 其實是個美國科幻頻道的新節目 Uh, no, it's actually a new show for the Syfy Channel.
就是講外星人入侵小鎮的一個節目 名字叫弗蒙特州的怪物 Kind of a small-town alien invasion show called Vermonsters.
-哦 -我到時候一定看 -Oh! -I'd see that.
所以 你們花了不少時間 So, do you guys spend a lot of time
嗯 把貓從樹林裏弄出來 getting, um, cats out of trees?
這就是你們的工作嗎 Is that kinda the job?
不 我們接到電話然後通知了火警部門 No, we get the call and then we call the Fire Department.
-讓他們把貓弄出來的 -哦 -They get the damn thing out. -Oh.
我能麻煩你跟我來個自拍嗎 Could I actually trouble you for a quick selfie?
我是[公主新娘]的影迷 I'm a big Princess Bride fan.
好的 沒問題 Yes. My pleasure.
這部電影讓我在高中很容易勾到女孩 That was my "Get laid movie" In high school.
哦 不客氣 Oh! You're welcome.
說『茄子』 Buttercup!
天哪 Holy shit!
-你拍到了嗎 -拍好了 -Did you get it? -Nailed it.
弗雷德·他媽的·薩維奇 哈 Fred fuckin' Savage, huh?
-額 是 那是我 -他在這兒 快看就是他 -Uh, yes. That's me. -He's right here! Look at him!
-是的 我們知道 -你好嗎 -Yeah, we know. -How are ya?
你還和維尼在一起嗎 You still with Winnie?
額 不 不 只是個 那只是個電視節目 夥計 Uh, no, no. Just a... just a show, man.
-你幹完她後我排第二 -好的 很好 -I call sloppy seconds! -Okay, great.
我想我得去抓貓了 我得去抓貓了 I think I'm gonna get the cat. I'm gonna get the cat.
薩維奇先生 我們不能讓你那麼做 Mr. Savage, we can't let you do that,
因為 你知道 嗯 because, you know, well,
我們得為你的安全負責 we're responsible for your safety.
不用擔心我的安全 我爬樹很在行的 Don't worry about it. I'm an expert climber.
記得電影[超級猴子]嗎 Remember the movie Super Monkey?
是的 Yeah.
那部電影裏我完全沒用替身 I did all my own stunts in that movie.
我爬樹很在行的 I'm good with the trees.
好吧 Okay.
看他上樹的樣子 哇哦 Look at him go. Wow.
我看見它了 我抓到它了 I can see it! I got the cat.
慢慢來 薩維奇先生 Take it easy, Mr. Savage.
我認為[超級猴子]這部電影很爛 I thought Super Monkey sucked.
是的 而且那些猴子都他媽的很假 Yeah. And the monkeys were so fuckin' fake.
-啊 哦 斯科特說過那電影的主要劇情就是香蕉 -嘿 夥計 -A.O. Scott said the plot was bananas. -Hey, buddy.
嘿 你們知道嗎 我能聽見你們的談話 Hey, you know, I can hear you guys.
好吧 你們應該假裝現在是在拍電影 Alright, you should try acting in a movie
然後秀秀你們能不能做那些高難度動作 那些真的難度很高 and doing your own stunts. It's really hard!
-好的 -好的 別像個混蛋一樣 -Sure. -All right, don't be dicks.
唔 Woo!
你看見我怎麼下來了嗎 Did you see that shit?!
你們這些混蛋誰想要個貓玩玩 Any of you motherfuckers want some pussy?
[雙關語 英語裏貓也叫pussy cat 同時也指女性]
怎麼樣 What's up?!
你帶著拿你的罰單本 You reach for your ticket book.
我找到了 好的 I got ya. Okay.
不好意思 對不起 對不起 'Scuse me. Sorry. Sorry.
別管那個了 給我拿著這個 Don't worry about it. Hold that for me.
-拿著 準備好了嗎 -是的 -Here we go. Ready? -Yeah.
哦 Ooh!
我真不能相信在美國 I can't believe it's a crime down in the U.S.
喝啤酒 玩女人和雞雞竟然違法 to drink beer and enjoy tits and dick.
我是說 嘀 嘀 那也沒啥傷害啊 I mean, beep beep! There's no harm there.
我是說 那也沒啥傷害啊 I mean... There's no harm there.
這是不錯的健身 嗯 It's a good workout, eh.
停 我能練一晚上 Cut. I could do that all night.
我知道 I know...
開始 And action!
哦 Oh!
就是這麼容易 That's how easy it is.
哦 上帝啊 混蛋 Oh! Jesus Christ. Motherfucker.
我們得一直重拍到午飯嗎 一直到午飯 What do we got, till lunch? We got till lunch?
開始 Action.
哦 Oh!
你們誰家有 那個 那個特別年長的人 Which one of you guys has a, le, a le seniority?
你得把腮幫子吹鼓起來 You got to blow those cheeks out.
好的 Okay.
我想你的鬍子進我嘴裏了 I think I have some of your mustache in my mouth.
你屁眼在哪 Where's your asshole?
它就在 在那 It's right about... right there.
跟著熱氣走 Just follow the heat.
你們一開始就偷了我們的工作 現在又坐在這 First you steal our job and now you sit here
坐在椅子上感受著異性按摩 getting a sensual massage from a chair
在商場中央 讓我們的女人給你按摩 in the center of the mall with our women.
你能把話說的簡練點嗎 Can you shorten that?
不 只有這麼說我才能表達清楚 No, that's the only way I can say it.
哦 哦 哦 吉絲·路易斯 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jeez Louise.
現在我知道了是誰吃了我的Lava Scotia Now I know who gobbled up all my Lava Scotia.
額 是福羅瓦·斯科夏 Uh, Flova Scotia.
現在我知道了是誰吃了我的福羅瓦·斯科夏 Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia.
-額 福羅 額 flova -是福羅瓦 媽的 -Uh, Flo, uh, Flova. -Flova. God damn it.
我所有的福羅瓦·斯科夏 All my Flava Scotia.
-我所有的福羅瓦·斯科夏 - 是Flova -All my Flava Scotia. -Flova.
我一定能說對的 羅瓦 福羅瓦 I'm gonna get it. Nova. Flova.
現在我知道是誰吃了我所有的Flava Scotia Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia.
-差不多了吧 -不 差很多 -Close? -No. Not really.
這個怎麼樣 這個怎麼樣 哈 What about this?! What about this, huh?!
我們是不是做這個的時候得像個 Didn't we do that to like
精瘦的金髮大腦門一樣 a skinny blond guy with a big forehead?
聞起來像是培根 Smelled like bacon?
討厭吃微波食物嗎 Always yakking about Hot Pockets?
[一種美國三明治]
你說的是我 That was me.
你問我是不是看見了你 You asked if I saw you
在周圍蹦來蹦去 jumping around all mimbly bimbly...
你問我是不是看見了你 You asked if I saw you
在周圍蹦來跳去.... jumping around all nimby, ni...
跳來跳去 All nibbily-bimbly.
不好意思 是蹦來跳去 Sorry, what... It's nimbly-bimbly.
你可以的 加菲根 Come on, Gaffigan!
笨蛋 Idiot.
[假裝是法語 裏面夾雜著英語] Bon vivant bouillabaisse, croissant, le chicken cordon bleu?
額 這有點太多了 Eh, that's a little much.
-這個上面寫著「虎鞭」 -舔它 -This one says "Tiger Penis". -Suck it!
-閉嘴吧 胖子 -對不起 這個太有意思了 -Shut up, Farva. -Sorry. It's just funny.
額 Eh...
這他媽的 哥們 What the shit, Guy?
你為什麼告訴我們他們是走私者 Why you tell us they are the smuggler...
對不起 我很抱歉 Sorry, I'm sorry.
額...額... Uh... Eh...
好吧 好吧 再來一次 再來一次 All right. All right. Here we go, here we go.
-得把調找到 -是 我找到了 -Just gotta find it. -Yeah, I got it.
額 Uh...
額...額... Uh... Eh...
抱歉 我完全...好的 好的 Sorry. I'm totally... Okay, okay.
嘿 結束了 Hey, cut it.
m 667.75 388.26 l 291.95 388.41 292.58 104.84 b 292.58 97.75 297.96 92 304.6 92 l 656.4 92 b 663.04 92 667.75 98.11 667.75 105.2
m 667.67 389.78 l 482.07 201.48 291.88 389.93 292.5 104.91 b 292.5 97.78 297.89 92 304.53 92 l 656.33 92 b 662.97 92 667.67 98.14 667.67 105.27
m 656.33 92 l 304.53 92 b 297.89 92 292.5 97.78 292.5 104.91 l 291.88 389.93 667.67 389.78 667.67 105.27 b 667.67 98.14 662.97 92 656.33 92 m 656.04 103 b 656.28 103.32 656.67 104.11 656.67 105.27 l 656.67 378.79 302.9 378.93 303.5 104.91 b 303.5 103.67 304.23 103 304.53 103 l 656.04 103
m 291.97 378.76 l 667.75 379 667.67 456 b 667.67 462.63 661.32 467.35 654.7 467.35 l 303.7 467.35 b 297.07 467.35 291.88 462 291.88 455.38
DN字幕組
m 979 535.5 l 956.125 526.625 900.375 504.75 b 891 501.125 881.625 497.25 872.5 493.625 l 844.5 482.5 816.75 471.25 788.875 459.875 761.125 448.875 742 440.875 753.375 458.75 769.625 484.25 785.75 510 801.75 535.75 784 511 766.5 486.125 749.125 461.125 732 436.375 726.75 428.625 735.5 432 763.625 442.375 791.875 453 820.125 463.5 848.125 474.125 876.125 485 b 885.625 488.375 895 491.875 904.25 495.5 l 938.125 508.75 890.875 460.625 859.25 428.125 843.375 411.75 827.75 395.375 796.125 362.75 765 329.75 733.75 296.75 718.5 280.125 703 263.5 719.625 279.125 736 294.875 768.75 326.375 801.25 358.125 833.75 390.125 849.75 406 865.875 421.875 898.125 454.125 962 518.375
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m 281 373.49 l 470 191.99 b 470 191.99 522.27 249.72 474 307.24 420.01 371.58 281 373.49 281 373.49