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Hi.
Aww. Oh, my sweet boy.
Look at me. I wanna see your handsome face.
Why are you always covering it?
Not you.
Listen.
...I'm talking about. His name is...
Hey, I wanna talk to you all about something.
Hannah, it's me. Ben.
Hi.
Where are you?
Are you okay?
Can you come pick me up?
I'm outside of, um... Twin Hill Pizza.
What the fuck are you doing outside right now?
It's like 30 degrees.
Just go somewhere warm.
I'm on my way.
Ben.
Hey.
This is your bedroom.
Um...
that's the bed.
It's a little messy. I'll clean up.
Um, this is the bathroom right back here.
Ben?
Bathroom.
And, um,
there's a toothbrush somewhere.
How long has it been?
Since I've seen him?
Ten years, Thomas.
I mean, we-we like, text "Merry Christmas,"
but I told you they're so like righteous
and so perfectly grounded and holy.
I just don't understand why they--
Well, it's obviously because he's gay, right?
You got this.
Oh, my God.
Fuck, I should probably check on him.
Oh, hey.
Um, I want you to meet my, uh, my husband--
Mornin', sleepyhead.
My husband, Thomas.
- Hi. - Hey,
it's so good to finally meet you. Come on.
I always wanted a little brother.
And, um, this is your nephew, Cyrus.
And here, have some breakfast.
What grade are you in?
Um, I'm a junior.
Sixteen, 17. That's a great year.
I actually teach high school,
so it's like I get to be 17 all year round.
I swear that's boyish charm and not developmental arrest.
Anyway, I-I don't know what your plan is,
but even if you're just gonna stay here a-a little while,
you probably don't wanna fall behind.
So Thomas is gonna, um,
try and register you tomorrow.
Does that sound good?
Yeah.
I'm gonna go grade some papers.
Ben, it would probably be helpful to know
what exactly happened.
I...
came out to them
and... they freaked.
Fucking dicks.
I'm really, really sorry that I left you alone with them.
Can we not tell them that I'm here?
Of course, yeah. It's not like I wanna send them updates.
Is there anything else that you need?
The Wi-Fi?
Mom and Dad must have shut my service off.
Of course they did.
This is gonna be groovy, Ben.
North Wake is pretty accepting, I gotta say.
Some people even call it "North Woke."
Um, what do you teach?
Chem.
Yeah, I always thought that I'd be out in the field,
but then Teach for America happened
and I just fell in love with teens.
You know what I mean.
I fell in love with teaching teens.
By the way, I emailed administration
that letter that your mom sent,
so you're all set for enrollment.
Letter? What letter?
The letter that your mom sent saying that you're gonna be
staying with us for the rest of the year.
What are you-- What are you talking--
It's a white lie. It's no big deal.
Now just as long as you and I are honest with each other,
that's all that matters.
Totally.
Yo! What's up, Mr. Wallace?
Hi, Sarah.
Yes, thank you.
Okay, so, fill this out for me.
I'm gonna run and grab your schedule real quick.
All right, Ben, here is your schedule.
Nathan...
Perfect. Just the man I wanted to see.
Hey, Mr. Wallace.
Hey, this is my wife's brother, Ben.
Uh, he's actually the newest addition
to the North Wake Crusaders.
Hey, welcome, welcome, welcome.
- Thanks. - Would you mind taking him
on a tour of the campus? I gotta get to class.
Uh, yeah, no problem.
Awesome. Thank you.
- Ben, I'll see you in a bit. - Okay.
Thank you.
Whoa, you are fuckin' smart.
- Thanks. - No, no, it's cool.
Like AP calc? I can't even pass Trig right now,
and I'm a year older than you.
I guess I just like math.
Sir Isaac Newton himself didn't even like math.
Somebody must like history.
Oh, uh, you are up here
for first period with Miss Ranger.
You know, we don't get a lot of new kids.
- Great. - Not to fear.
As long as you keep your head down
around the football dickheads, you should be pretty good.
Well,
happy first day.
Fuck a duck! Oh!
A-are you okay?
Shit. Shoot, okay.
Hi, hi, hi. I'm Miss Lions. Sorry.
I'm Ben. Uh, Ben DeBacker.
Yes, I got an email about you.
Okay. This is Art 4.
This is what we got.
Clearly, these kids are more theater people
because I've seen about two of them
in the last six weeks.
What is your discipline?
Um, I draw mostly.
Amazing. So this is your space.
You can spread out. I mean, look at this.
Look at the range of mediums that are present.
We have wheel. Have you tested a wheel?
- No. - Have you seen Ghost?
It's that thing that they sit around.
Patrick Swayze sits around
and he holds it.
He holds her and he sculpts the clay.
Make something for the art fair.
Please.
You're my last hope.
Sorry-- Art fair?
I mean, I can try.
Paint.
Your body needs to paint.
Oh, okay.
Let's go.
- Should I follow you? - No, go back to algebra class.
- Yes, follow me! - O-okay.
♪ I was thinking about your face ♪
♪ Thinking about the place that we said you felt okay ♪
♪ And I was hoping that on your mind ♪
♪ I could take off some time from anything I can ♪
♪ 'Cause I belong to I belong to you ♪
* I was ♪
♪ Walking around the park ♪
♪ Hoping that I... ♪
Mmm.
Homophobic chicken sandwich?
Thought you'd never ask.
- Here you go. - Thanks.
This...
All this good stuff.
What are you workin' on?
Oh, just sketch... sketches.
You drawing?
Cutting, pasting.
That's cool.
Uh, thanks for the stuff,
by the way.
So how's school going?
You know, it's...
different.
Yeah, God, I mean, I barely remember high school.
Feels like it was a thousand years ago.
But, you know, I had a lot going on back then.
You know, Ben, I just--
I don't wanna fuck you up any more than they already have.
They haven't called, have they?
Here.
Mom and Dad...
I thought you'd at least call or text me by now.
I wish this never happened.
I was looking for you at lunch today. Where were you?
That open area behind Building 3.
Yeah, I wanted to introduce you to Mel and Sophie.
Maybe tomorrow you should, uh...
come have lunch with the cool kids.
I don't know. I gotta study Lit.
I can already feel my dyslexic ass falling behind.
Oh, I can help you with that.
Hey, you're-you're good at math, right?
'Cause somehow I am, like, bombing Trig.
Yikes.
Mm, maybe you can summarize Homer for me
and I can do your Pythagorean theorem.
That'd be dope, yes.
- * Hideaway, my arms are tied ♪ - Oh! Hi!
♪ When I lie awake beneath the night ♪
♪ Try to climb to find some height ♪
♪ I'm a prisoner when I'm with you ♪
♪ Hideaway, my arms are tied... ♪
No!
Absolutely fucking not.
We are not doing sad hoodies for one more day ever.
I like my sad hoodies.
I know you like your sad hoodies,
but I think we just need to figure out
what your style is.
Not that.
- A bit formal. - Yeah, that's...
This-- Look. This will match your eyes.
That's really cute. That's a whole outfit.
- Yeah. - Okay, try that on.
So obviously, um, I-I...
can handle the cost of some of the, um,
"start your life over basics,"
but, um...
with the baby and everything,
- I'm feeling just a little-- - Yeah, no.
I was actually thinking about getting a job.
I mean, like, with everything you guys have done for me, I...
I-- You know, I-I could use--
I could use getting out of the house more.
That's exactly what I was thinking,
and I actually called a friend of mine
who has this really cool camp thing,
and they have an opening.
You'll love it. It's amazing.
The camp for troubled teens is down the road.
Um, I'm actually looking for Chris.
Chris!
All right.
Here we have Raleigh's one-and-only senior day camp.
It's a place for seniors who are suffering
from Alzheimer's, dementia,
or from any other disease that affects memory function.
So we got some light activities and games...
like you see there.
We got arts and crafts.
We even have a nice gardening club
that's bustling over here.
The mums are looking excellent.
Now, uh, Hannah tells me that you have zero work experience.
- No. - All right, well, that's okay.
We kinda work on the watch and learn model here.
So basically, after school every week,
you're gonna show up, you're gonna monitor the clients,
you're gonna keep your ears and your eyes open.
And while you are here, you are gonna be honest,
you're gonna be sober,
and you're gonna be off your phone.
What the fuck?
- It's just scream therapy. - Uh...
It's the best kind.
I'm Ben. I heard you guys are waiting
for some puzzle pieces.
Hey!
Where do we begin?
Welcome to the team, kid.
- Tomorrow the real work starts. - Thanks.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, there's-- Ben! Ben!
These are the peeps I've been trying to introduce you to.
- "Peeps?" That's so-- - Troublingly masc?
Yeah, I know.
I'm Meleika Wilkins.
I've tried to make your acquaintance in homeroom,
but you have proven yourself quite skilled at curving me.
- Oh! Tea. - Oh. Tea.
- Call me Mel though. - I promise I'm not a dick,
just socially inept.
- Same. - I'm Sophie.
Wait, you're in Art 4, right?
Barely. Wait, are you?
Oh, shit, I, um...
Guess I haven't shown up yet in that class this year.
Sophie uses art as a free period to get stoned
and, uh, "build" her portfolio.
- Yes, I do, as is my right. - Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm. - Ben.
- What are you listening to? - Oh, uh, King Princess.
- Who? - Oh.
Oh, my God, I fucking love KP.
We gotta get you on our Spotify Blend.
Honestly, she could, like, ruin my pussy.
Ew. Bitch, we're eating.
Okay. Whatever. As if you don't finger yourself
to Noah Centineo when you can't sleep.
You know what,
Noah is pretty dreamy though.
I'd let him.
The bar really is so low for men.
Ben, would you fuck Noah Centineo?
Um, no.
I knew I'd love you.
So why'd you transfer?
My sister lives here.
Where was your old school?
Okay, interrogation over.
Fine. He passed the first test.
Is there gonna be like a final exam or something?
Oh, he has jokes, unlike someone we know.
You know what? Let Ben be the judge of that.
Okay, um, enough with the gay geekery.
Please can we talk about something fun?
- Yes. Yes. - Like Steph's party.
Or how blackout wasted we're gonna be
- at Steph's party. - That part.
Yes! Sophie, you read my mind.
I read your mind. Yes, I did.
My true Lord and Savior, Benjesus Christ.
Oh, my gosh.
- Who is this? - That's Dabs.
Oh, hey, Dabs.
Oh, yeah.
Welcome.
Let me take your stuff.
Take it off, stay a while, hang with me.
Thanks.
Mm. Cool record player.
Thanks. I mostly use Bluetooth.
I got it for clout.
Oh, my God. Is this you?
What? In the stroller? Yeah, that was me last week.
Hey, that's, um--
These are dope.
- Oh, this is-- - It's-it's nothing.
Fine, okay. It's my family tree.
Or what was my family tree.
Oh. Past tense.
It's a long story.
Hey. Why does it feel like
I-I really don't know anything about you.
Like, like, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
Seriously?
I don't know.
Alive.
Wow, so emo.
Okay. You?
Ah, I think a writer or a director.
Tell me about your family.
Tell me about the tree.
- It's just a drawing. - Uh-uh. Liar.
Fine. My parents kicked me out of the house
because I'm non-- Not... not straight.
"Not straight."
Fuck. Sorry. I don't know- I don't know why I laughed.
That's trash.
Boomers suck.
Do you have your book?
Yeah, just rewrite the equation with the log terms on the side.
♪ Oh, honey ♪
♪ Touch my face real slow ♪
♪ Tie my hands ♪
♪ Let the river flow ♪
♪ See you and dance ♪
♪ Shadow of a rose ♪
♪ Show me how to grow ♪
♪ Find my car ♪
♪ Pray it stays all night ♪
♪ Your flower blooms ♪
♪ Under the full moonlight ♪
♪ See you and dance ♪
♪ Shadow of a rose ♪
♪ Show me how to grow ♪
♪ Poetic dream ♪
♪ Blooms onto your skin ♪
♪ You search for mine ♪
♪ Where does it begin? ♪
♪ See you and dance ♪
♪ Shadow of a rose ♪
♪ Show me how to grow ♪
What's bubbling up in you?
I can't talk about it.
Okay, well, if you can't talk to me about it...
you can talk to the moon.
See, the moon has room for everyone.
When I needed to divorce my ex-husband
who is a twat, I...
told the moon before I told anyone.
So why don't you give it a try? Just... lay it out.
Okay. Hi-hi, moon.
Hi, Ben.
What is eating you up inside?
Um...
I can't be myself.
You seem pretty yourself to me.
No, I'm not. This--
This isn't me. I don't even know who I am.
Ah. The great unknown.
Or I do, but it's being this way,
being nonbinary makes me feel like
nothing and everything all at once,
and it's blown up my life,
and I just don't know what to do with myself.
Okay, well, what if I told you I was nonbinary too?
Wait, really?
Yes, I'm the moon.
The moon is not woman nor man.
The moon is ancient and yet it is modern,
and it's also gravity,
but that's not exactly what we're talking about,
and it's not really science.
Can you not tell anyone?
This is Art 4. Do you know how many secrets...?
I could-- I could bring down the government.
And this being nonbinary...
this is something that wasn't understood?
What are you trying to tell us?
I'm gonna need you to take that back, boy.
Benjamin. Benjamin, your father is speaking to you.
Where do you think you're going?
Listen to me. God does not want this
- for you or for this family. - Fuck God.
What are you doing?
Mom! Mom!
You are brave.
You are a warrior.
Doesn't feel that way.
Well...
you don't need to feel it right now.
All you have to do is be.
Sometimes I look at myself,
like in the mirror, and...
I don't recognize what I see. I--
Like it just doesn't look like what I feel in my head.
Okay, I have another message
coming through the channel for you,
and that is that good art comes from life.
So you need to get out there and live.
If not for yourself, then for the art fair.
You know...
how much... I care about the art fair.
Okay.
♪ I took the ferry in at 6:00 a.m. ♪
♪ I don't think about My high school friends ♪
♪ I spend the day making up stories in my head ♪
♪ The tide is higher now than yesterday ♪
♪ I've got some problems but they're so cliché ♪
I'm telling you, this is where she's living now.
Well, let's find out.
Hannah!
It's your father!
Hello.
What the actual fuck are the two of you doing here right now?
Now, Hannah, we're not looking to start a fight.
Good to see you, sweetie.
That doesn't answer my question.
We just came to see if Ben was here.
Is that my-- Is that my grandson?
No, it's not.
And I don't know where Ben is. I haven't seen him in a decade.
Hey, don't you lie to me, girl.
Why? Did you kick him out or something?
Ben had a choice. Ben chose wrong.
You mean because he's gay?
Is that what he said?
That's not even the half of it.
Ben! Benjamin!
- Son? - Benjamin!
- Get off my property. - Ben!
Yeah, you know what, we might have to call the police
'cause I would like to hear what they have to say
about you kidnapping your brother.
Kidnapping my brother?
You kicked him out of the house.
- You abandoned him. - Please.
- Get off my property! - Come on, Cathy!
I want my son back!
We've got to go!
I'm gonna put Cyrus to bed,
and when I get back, I wanna know what exactly is going on.
I'm nonbinary.
Okay.
Yeah. All right, buddy. That's cool.
What's that feel like?
Makes me feel like I don't fit.
Like I don't have a place.
My body's always felt weird.
My brain's always felt weird. It's like...
I'm not supposed to be here.
Not like I wanna kill myself or anything.
Just something's always felt off.
I don't feel totally like a boy,
or like a girl.
It's like I feel in-between.
It's like stuck in-between.
So, um, what are you?
Like, uh, uh, your, uh...
- Pronouns. - Pronouns.
Yeah, I, I just--
I wanna get it right.
I've-I've never really said this, I guess. I...
I don't know.
People use they and them.
There are a lot of them.
So I'm not sure yet.
They/Them feels like it could be right.
Do you want us to start using that?
Yeah.
Sure.
Great.
But only at home, I think.
Like, I don't want people at school to know right now.
I-I-I bet they would all be cool with it.
I'm already the new kid.
Yeah, no, Thomas isn't gonna say anything.
And, uh...
we will try to get it right here at home.
Like Demi Lovato,
they use they/them, right?
Oh.
She went back to she.
- Oh. - So you can flip?
It's messy.
- I was all nervous. This-- - Wow.
I thought this was gonna be like a whole thing.
We thought you were gonna say, like, you killed someone.
Oh, my God.
How long have you been in love with Batman?
My kryptonite.
Forever.
My brother would pass down his old comics growing up and...
I just got hooked.
And then this guy James Tynion took over a few years ago.
He added all these queer characters.
It's kind of a breakthrough moment for me
as a lifelong fan. Mmm.
I felt like seen in some way.
Validated.
Like I belong in gay Gotham.
But it's not bad.
I just moved a few paragraphs around.
Blessings received.
Yeah, getting through this play was like literary warfare.
Next time, read it out loud, perform it.
You know Shakespeare was all just like
cross-dressing and drag queens,
so I just channel my inner Sasha Velour.
Really hits different.
Mm. Yeah, you know,
I'd-I'd rather lodge this into my trachea.
You're kind of a serious person, aren't you, Ben?
Am I? I don't know.
I just try to avoid embarrassment at all costs.
And my brain's always full.
- Mm... what are you doing? - I'm releasing
your crown chakra.
My mom is a Reiki practitioner.
It's probably bullshit, but like,
you need to chill.
Hey, um,
I lied to you.
Oh.
I-I just-- Like when you asked
what happened with my parents,
and I said that I was not straight...
What I meant to say was, like, I'm not cis.
Now that you say it, I am feeling a vibe.
What the fuck does that mean?
Uh, just like a...
a vibe, you know?
You have a soft aura and...
you're really, like, graceful and...
ethereal almost.
So is it giving they/them?
Yeah, it's giving they/them.
You're cute when you blush.
Shit, now I'm blushing.
I stole this Easy-Bake Oven back from my little cousin
after she complained that it wasn't
the right shade of pink.
On this fine eve, I thought I'd try
my famous Lunchable pizza recipe.
Are you okay, little nymph?
Yeah, it's just...
Mmm.
It's just what? It's just nothing.
This is... This is boring.
This is spiritually bereft.
This is a blank canvas.
Okay, you have to make something that burns with your passion,
with your rage, with your humanity.
All I can think about is Nathan.
Then paint Nathan.
Let it out. Call it art therapy.
Tuck deep into that yoni energy, okay?
And don't tell anyone I said that to a teenager.
♪ Darling you were a rolling stone ♪
♪ I could never hold you down ♪
♪ You always had a place to go ♪
♪ After all the lights went out ♪
♪ And now you ♪
♪ When the words you were saving ♪
♪ Are now in the graveyard ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I got nothing to say out loud ♪
♪ Now everyone's tongue tied ♪
♪ Forgot how we loved like ♪
♪ Like we were everything ♪
♪ And now we're enemies... ♪
- Hey. - Jesus.
Thomas.
Oh.
- Is that, uh-- - No.
Looks just like him. Someone has a crush.
Gay king or-- Shoot, are you gay?
Look, Ben...
I'm sorry. That was insensitive.
I'm-I'm-I'm new to this big brother/uncle thing.
- I-I'm learning how to-- - Well, you can bow out
at any time if it's too much of a strain on you.
That's not what I'm saying.
I know it's not easy to feel different.
When I was young, I was way more emotional than other guys.
- I didn't like sports-- - Wow, that must have been
so hard for you being marginalized like that.
I'm just trying to relate to you, buddy.
We're on the same side.
So what's fun about this is that you don't always need
a reason to be choosing a color.
More important that you get the feeling
out onto the page, if you feel me.
Christine.
That's funny to you?
You got me. You got me, okay?
I'm done.
Benji, where are you?
I'm upstairs.
Mmm.
Come in.
- Hey. - Hi.
Thank you so much for watching him.
- Sure. - Hey, baby.
Um...
Thomas said that you guys
had a little bit of a disagreement.
Yeah, it's fine. I'm over it.
He said you were pretty upset.
Well, yeah, him comparing being a vaguely emo straight man
to being nonbinary upset me.
You know, people say shit all the time
that they don't mean.
And I think part of growing up is just...
learning how to not take it so personally.
Can you stop trying to parent me?
You're not really giving me much of a choice.
Well, maybe you could just focus on your own kid.
You know,
we grew up in the same household.
You and I, we-we had the same, a lot of the same experiences,
and you don't know what it is I went through.
Right. I don't.
I only know what it was like to live in your shadow.
And you don't know anything about me.
You don't even know when my birthday is.
Of course I know when your birthday is.
- When is it? - It's, um...
Mm?
- It's... - Today, Hannah.
It's literally today.
I just wanna confirm that is the bat signal
- on your cheek, right? - I don't know, maybe.
♪ But really, how long till the world realize? ♪
♪ Yes, yes I'm the best, Fuck what you heard ♪
♪ Anything less is obviously absurd ♪
♪ Haters get the bird, More like an eagle... ♪
Promise you won't make fun of me, but--
Uh, are you being vuln?
Wait, can I film this for my records?
It's such a rare sight to behold.
I've never been to a party before.
What? How?
I was a loser at my old school
and I grew up in a dry town, and no one drank.
Wow, babe, I'm honored.
- Th-this is a-- - Hey! Welcome to Hell, faggots.
- Hey, you're already fucked up. - Hey! I know.
Oh, give me some, give me some.
Oh, my God. Are you smoking in here?
- Okay. - My parents are gonna kill me
- if they smell that. - Okay. Okay!
Hi, Stephanie.
Thank you for having us.
- Go! - Bye, White girl.
Are we not supposed to be here?
Oh, let's not get caught up in the details.
Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
Hey, yo, where's Mel?
She's over there standing with Todd.
- No, I've never done that. - Oh, God, this is painful.
- Here. - Oh. Come on. Do it.
- It'll be fun. - Okay, fine, whatever.
- Here we go, baby's first hit. - Hey, hey, hey.
- What, what, what? - I blew it.
- I, like, completely blew it. - Okay, honey, you're okay.
We just need to get you, like, slightly more fucked up, okay?
- No. No, I don't need-- - No-- Yes, you do.
Oh, baby.
Time to be real!
Oh, my God.
Oh, whoa, whoa. Bubba, baby boy, slow down.
The night, like a bald sapling, is still young.
Much growth on the horizon.
You know, I thought being drunk would make you funnier,
but I don't think it does.
- Oh, no. - Give me that shit back.
Oh. Hey, yo, Todd, wait up.
- Hey. What's up Nathan? - Hey, uh,
my friend Mel over there was wondering
if you could show her the movie theater.
Yeah, sure.
- Hey. - Hi.
I'll, uh, show you around.
Okay.
Let's do it.
What the fuck?
Uh-huh?
Come on.
Baby!
Oh, yeah!
♪ Immaterial ♪
♪ We're just ♪
♪ Im-ma-ma-material, immaterial ♪
♪ Immaterial boys, immaterial girls ♪
♪ Im-ma-ma-material, immaterial ♪
♪ We're just... ♪
Benjamin. Sweetie, it's your mom calling,
wishing you a happy birthday.
Wish I could see you.
Ben, you good?
Yeah, sorry.
- Oh! - Ben, are you okay?
Ben!
Oh, what the fuck?
Oh, my God. You've lost it.
Oh, babe.
Oh...
It's okay.
Oh, no.
Shh... Shh-shh.
I come here when I feel nuts,
and clearly, you're spiraling, so...
My mom called me.
What'd she say?
Yeah, parents don't know what to do
when their kids don't turn out just like them.
My-my mom's sister won't even look me in the eyes
just cause I'm bi.
Really?
Yeah, for real.
Could I hear it?
Benjamin. Sweetie, it's your mom calling.
Wishing you a happy birthday.
- Wait. - Wish I could see you.
Wait, it's your birthday?
Um, we regret how we behaved.
Happy fucking birthday, Ben DeBacker!
I actually wanted to see if--
Thanks.
So, what-what do you wanna do?
Mmm, sleep on it.
The room is spinning.
Aww.
Baby's first drunk.
Mm.
Let's go to bed.
What the hell, Ben?
- What? - Where have you been?
I've been worried sick.
I'm sorry. I spent the night at Nathan's.
If you wanna live under this roof in my house,
you have to communicate.
I said I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I don't mean it like that, just...
I mean, please text me next time.
I will.
I'm just scared.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
You look great.
How was your birthday?
Really good.
Why did you leave?
I got pregnant.
By Joel?
Yeah, by Joel.
Shit.
And he-he and I talked about it,
and he was really, um...
really supportive of me getting an abortion.
Until Mom and Dad got to him.
They tried to make me go
to some place in Utah to have the kid,
and then give it up for adoption,
and I was like, "Fuck that."
So I ran away.
I took a Greyhound to DC.
And I took care of business.
And then when I tried to come home, they--
Wait, you tried to come home?
Yeah.
They, uh, they said that I was not welcome
in-in their home.
Hannah, they told me you were a drug addict.
I went through all that,
and they said I was a drug addict?
I've never even smoked pot.
I have an idea.
Yeah.
- What? - Get your car keys.
- What? - Come on, come on.
I haven't had one of these since high school.
I forgot how good it was.
What?
- Scream therapy! - What the hell
are you talking about?
It's this thing we do with the old folks.
Scream therapy.
It's good for the soul. You should try it.
That scared the shit out of me, Ben.
You just scream?
Like... [screams weakly] Ahh...
Ahh...
- No, you can do-- - Ahh!
No, you can do so much better than that.
Here, after me.
Fuck Mom and Dad!
- Fuck Mom and Dad! - Fuck!
Fuck Mom and Dad!
This... will be in the art fair.
Seriously?
But I do think that you need to do something
that expresses more of who you are,
not just your obsession with Nathan.
Well, I had this idea about,
like, painting my face.
Or, like, um, building-- building off my face.
Ooh, so like a face on a face on a face.
Like a sculptural concept.
A sculpture on God's greatest sculpture.
I love! So fresh.
Where did you just go?
Sorry, just...
Sometimes my face reminds me so much of my dad's.
Do you wanna talk about them?
Is there anything you can remember about them
that makes you feel good?
I'd rather not. They aren't dead.
Fine, suit yourself, Dissociation Station.
I have a lot of glitter to organize.
I used to go to work with my mom.
She'd always wear animal scrubs 'cause she's a nurse.
And in the summer, she would bring me along
a few days a week,
let me help out
shredding stuff.
And we'd visit the older patients
and try to cheer them up.
That was my favorite part.
And on Friday nights we'd have movie night.
Watching Westerns way too loud.
Dad and me, we'd try to throw popcorn
in each other's mouths.
And I used to help my mom in the garden.
And I'd get all sunburned and she'd cover me in aloe.
I miss them.
I know I shouldn't.
It's okay to miss them.
They're your parents.
I just don't understand how being their kid
isn't enough for them.
And now my mom wants to have dinner with me.
Well, don't go alone if you go at all, okay?
Hi.
Hey!
Shoes off!
Are you crazy?
Can I talk?
Yes, please talk to me about something.
Save me from this boring life of domesticity.
Mom called.
Seriously?
- Yeah. - Why?
They wanna see me?
No.
Hannah, I-I kinda want to...
- go. - Well, I-I don't--
I just really don't think
that's the right choice right now.
Well, isn't it kind of inevitable?
I mean, it wasn't for me.
Until you came along.
I just wanna hear them out, you know?
Like it's really not gonna be anything more than that.
Okay, well, then I'm coming with you.
With love, I need to do it alone, I think.
Nathan and Soph are gonna tag along though
in case they try to kidnap me.
Okay.
Can you share your location with me?
Deal.
Okay.
Wait, um...
So, Thomas and I were talking
and I think if we're-- if we're really doing this,
then we-we should probably make it official.
Are you proposing to me?
I'm proposing
that we file for permanent guardianship.
Aren't I a little too old for that?
Maybe, but the tax benefits are really too good
to pass up.
Hannah, you know, capitalism is the root of all evil.
All jokes aside,
it'll save us a headache,
even if it's just for a little while.
Thank you.
You saved my life.
Is that them?
Soph, why don't you run in and grab us a table?
I don't think you two have time to blow each other.
Okay, okay, table for two,
coming right up.
Hey. Look at me.
No matter what happens tonight,
Benjamin DeBacker, I...
I wish you all the best...
because you deserve it.
Thank you.
Yes.
- I feel like giving him a hug. - I know, I was--
Hey.
It's good to see you.
Did you get your ears pierced? Wow.
It looks good.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
First and foremost,
your father and I,
we just wanna tell you that we love you.
Mm-hmm.
We miss you at home.
Yeah, I miss it too.
But it's nice here.
I'm just not sure that your-your sister's
a very good influence on you.
Yeah, I mean, she's got her shit,
sorry, stuff together, so...
Right, no. Of course, of course.
Listen...
We are just happy to see you again, son.
Child.
Yep. We wanna talk to you about all that...
- all that stuff. - All that.
We do.
But we just wanna make sure you know just...
We miss you.
Do you miss us?
I feel like...
we could've handled things better.
Exactly. I've been, um, talking to the...
you know, the other girls at the hospital
and going and like, looking online,
going to Facebook chats stuff,
trying to get my head around this thing, our heads,
and-and we know we were very reactive.
We've-we've reflected.
And...
we see you.
We see you.
And we see the pain that we've caused.
I think what your mother is trying to say is,
that, you know, what--
What if it's not all this gender bender,
uh, uh, uh liquid...
uh, y-you know, like, I mean, what if you're just gay?
Being gay and being nonbinary are different things.
And-and, Ben, Ben, we found a solution.
That's right. Praise Jesus, we did.
- Amen. - In all this confusion,
there's just this answer that came to us and...
- Pastor Joe... - Thank God for Joe.
...showed us this place. Oh, my gosh.
Wait, no, wait till you see this.
It's almost like a spa,
and these counselors, these counselors,
they just-- they're just great...
These people, they're gonna help you
with all of your, you know, the confusion--
Okay, I'm sorry, I think you, um...
...are missing the point.
I'm not confused at all.
And I'm not leaving Raleigh. I have friends here who--
- Oh, that group over there? - No.
You gotta understand how difficult this has been
for the both of us.
Yeah, you're gonna come home, sweetie.
Now it's nice that you've had some time here,
but this isn't up to you and it doesn't really matter
what your sister has to say about it, 'cause we gotta do
what's right for you as our son.
- No. - Sweetie, please.
Let go of me. You don't get a say
in how I live my life, okay? I'm done.
I filed for emancipation, so please just leave me alone.
I told them I was filing for emancipation.
You're getting emancipated?
No.
Oh.
It's not funny. I'm fucking scared
they could come back at any moment and take me away.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
Mm. I feel like we're what Love, Simon could never be.
Tell me...
your deepest...
darkest secret.
I'm...
a virgin.
Duh.
Me too.
Really?
For realsies.
Do you want to?
Yeah.
I'm gonna get a condom.
Hey, have I told you yet
how much I love you?
You know, it's like...
love, love, love, love, love, love, love you.
Mm-hmm.
'Cause I do.
Okay.
What's up? Did I do something?
No.
Can you stop?
It's just creeping me out.
Whoa.
Just trying to figure out what's going on with you.
Yeah, well, I don't...
...really fucking know what to do right now.
Like...
Jesus, fuck-- Like, I-I feel crazy.
Nathan, I--
You're-you're perfect and happy like all the time,
- and I'm a mess. - Hey.
Babe, you are not a mess. You're just--
You're just a little messy sometimes.
No, I am.
You don't wanna be in this brain.
I don't even wanna be inside this brain right now.
You can't be so hard on yourself.
Be sweeter to yourself, okay? Your--
Your life is not so bad.
Okay, Nathan, I'm not a fucking idiot. Like,
it's not lost on me that most kids in my situation
would be homeless, or...
have already killed themselves by now.
But I still have this, like, pit in my stomach. Like...
This guilt, like, I'm just, like, fucking up bad,
and I don't know how to get rid of it.
You're just a lot sometimes. I'm sorry.
♪ Island off the coast ♪
♪ Whatever feels the most like dreaming ♪
♪ It's like you weren't real... ♪
I can't stomach talking to Nathan right now.
I think I might be depressed.
And what do you mean
when you say depressed?
It's just that life feels...
too much sometimes.
And it all came at me at once
and it feels like there's little I can do
to control any of it.
And... I just wanna be alone.
♪ A faded dream ♪
♪ Photographed in time ♪
♪ Every kiss combined and fleeting ♪
♪ Now that I'm waking ♪
♪ Your voice is fading ♪
You wanna talk today?
Not today.
♪ When you lay by me ♪
Well, isolation is not a safe neighborhood
for people like you and me.
We need to find love.
We all need to be carried from time to time.
♪ It's just a dream ♪
♪ A faded dream. ♪
Alright, it's been a week.
Time to get up.
Mmm... liar.
No, it has. And Chris called us.
He said you're going to get fired.
So life sucks. Let's go.
Mm, no, he's not gonna fire me.
- He absolutely will fire you. - Yeah, without a doubt.
- And you stink, kiddo. - You reek.
You need clothes and a shower.
Here.
- There you go. Perfect. - Where do you sleep?
Sorry. I've been dealing
with some gender shit and family shit
and I feel like an asshole.
You think I give a fuck about your gender
or your family?
This is work.
When life gets crazy, we have to learn how to show up
for ourselves and for other people.
No if, ands, or buts.
You know, my boyfriend and I
have been together in this town for years.
You're gay?
Baby, there are all kinds of black bears
in these woods.
I want you on that wall.
Those are my Hall of Famers.
The misfits who came here
and found something of themselves.
Can you commit to showing up this summer
and being present and accountable?
Hello my sibling-child.
It's me, your brother-father.
What are you doing tonight?
Wallowing in my own self-pity.
I'll be frank, okay?
I am trying to have sex with your sister.
Okay, I can't with you.
No, I can't with you.
So why don't you go crash Senior Night?
I'm a junior.
Sorry, guys, I tried.
Uh-uh. My God. Okay.
Enough with the Euphoria depression spiral. Okay?
Nobody cares about you or your gender identity.
So, that was rude.
What she really means to say
is that we love you no matter what.
And we have approximately eight minutes to get to the rink
before we're officially past "late is cool."
So if we could like hurry this up, that'd be so great.
Ooh, ah, okay. If this doesn't scream
trans rights, then I don't know what does.
- Period. - Right?
Oh, my God! Can you please stay in a lane?
Sorry, I'm trying to get us there, bitch.
- We're already late. - Where's Nathan?
Okay, so to be honest, he was kind of pissed
about the way you ghosted his ass,
so he didn't feel like joining the, um,
"revive Ben from their deathbed" party.
- Mm. - I'm gonna puke again.
No, no, chug this instead.
Oh, my God. What the fuck is in this?
It was a special occasion raid of my parents' liquor cabinet.
Only the best.
- Let's do it. - Smile!
I mean, I don't know, it all just depends on
- if Todd is here and-- - Oh.
- Todd is gonna be here. - He's gonna be here.
- I mean, I don't--
And what are you gonna do about it?
- Ooh. Ooh. - Ooh. Ooh.
Letting you know...
Like, you're...
Oh, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
- This is so cute! - Let's go get our skates.
♪ Take a chance on myself ♪
♪ Can't hold me down ♪
♪ I do what I like ♪
♪ I own this life ♪
♪ I do what I like ♪
Jeez. Oh! Ben.
- Yeah? - What's your shoe size?
I'm an eight and a half.
Um, I've been thinking about something.
- I wanna change my name. - To what?
I don't know, something super fluid like Rainforest.
How about Rainforest Cafe?
I-I think I wanna try, um...
"B."
No Benji, no Ben,
just the letter B.
I love.
- Yes! - It's giving B like,
"This is my friend B.
- Let me introduce you to them." - It has a nice ring to it. Yes.
- B for Barb. - Nicki would be so proud.
Nicki would be so proud.
I'm actually kinda Tonya Harding.
- Whoa! - Shit.
Ahh!
Yeah, shit, I'm gonna--
Okay. We're gonna go pee.
♪ Open your eyes ♪
♪ I'm right in front of you ♪
♪ Open your eyes ♪
♪ I'm walking out on you ♪
♪ For the last time ♪
♪ I ♪
♪ Keep my heart aching ♪
♪ Why ♪
♪ Do we keep faking? ♪
♪ I was only lying When I looked in your eyes ♪
♪ I'm crying diamonds Like a river inside ♪
♪ And it's so sad, so sexy ♪
♪ So sad, so sexy ♪
♪ I was only lying When I looked in your eyes ♪
♪ Now I'm lying with you one last time ♪
♪ And it's so sad, so sexy ♪
♪ So sad, so sexy ♪
♪ Only lying when I looked in your eyes ♪
♪ Now I'm lying with you one last time ♪
♪ And it's so sad, so sexy ♪
♪ So sad, so sexy ♪
♪ Our love was a slow dance ♪
Mmm?
Thomas gave this to me on our wedding day.
Oh!
I think it really suits you.
You sure?
Yeah.
Hannah, it's beautiful.
I love it.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Okay.
Okay, you're scaring me.
Babe, I am struck silent.
Speechless. Aghast. Bewildered.
I didn't know you could paint like this.
Yeah.
This piece right here landed me a spot
in Cooper Union in the fall.
Oh, my God, that's amazing. Congrats.
I know. Thank you. You guys are so cute though.
Chris? What are you doing here?
What can I say? I'm a lover of shitty Merlot.
- I'm shitty Merlot. - Mm, yeah, my shitty Merlot.
Wait, wait, you guys are like...?
Just like that.
- A toast. - Yeah!
- Let's go! - To our Prince B:
Royal Mess of Makeup and Pop Art in the roaring twenties.
- Yes. - And to Sophie,
our generation's new Sally Mann.
- Oh. - Oh, thank you.
- And to Nathan... - Huh?
...for finally getting over himself.
- Hey! - Yeah!
That's really cute. Okay.
All right, say, "Cheese."
- Big cheesy cheese. - Brie!
- Parmesan! - Parmesan!
Hi. What are you guys doing here?
B, come on, let's get you out of here.
This is it?
What?
This letter, this piece of paper?
Yep.
We're your guardians now.
We're still your siblings, your parents.
We're a family.
Yeah.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I want you to know I don't hate you.
And I'm thankful that you're letting me go right now.
I wish this could be different.
I wish you could just...
...grow up.
We're all in pain. I know that.
But I gotta deal with my pain before I can carry yours.
I'm here...
when you're ready to listen and evolve.
If you want to.
Sometime down the line.
And who knows...
One day, maybe we'll find each other again.
But it isn't my responsibility to mend this.
It's yours.
If you want to.
And I wish you all the best.
Is this how it's gonna be though?
What?
Just like...
one long never-ending life of coming out.
Maybe.
But also, you don't really owe all of that to everybody.
An explanation, or...
or all of you.
You know, fuck what people think.
You're you.
Perfect.
Beautiful.
Miserable you.
♪ I'm trying to tell you something 'bout my life ♪
♪ Maybe give me insight between black and white ♪
♪ And the best thing you ever done for me ♪
♪ Is to help me take my life less seriously ♪
♪ It's only life after all ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Well, darkness has a hunger that's insatiable ♪
♪ And lightness has a call that's hard to hear ♪
♪ And I wrap my fear around me like a blanket ♪
♪ I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it ♪
♪ I'm crawling on your shores ♪
♪ And I went to the doctor I went to the mountains ♪
♪ I looked to the children I drank from the fountains ♪
♪ There's more than one answer to these questions ♪
♪ Pointing me in a crooked line ♪
♪ And the less I seek my source for some definitive ♪
♪ Closer I am to fine, yeah ♪
♪ And I went to see ♪
♪ The doctor of philosophy ♪
♪ With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee ♪
♪ He never did marry or see a B-grade movie ♪
♪ He graded my performance ♪
♪ He said he could see through me ♪
♪ I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind ♪
♪ Got my paper and I was free ♪
♪ And I went to the doctor I went to the mountains ♪
♪ I looked to the children I drank from the fountains ♪
♪ There's more than one answer to these questions ♪
♪ Pointing me in a crooked line ♪
♪ And the less I seek my source for some definitive ♪
♪ Closer I am to fine, yeah ♪
♪ I stopped by the bar at 3:00 a.m. ♪
♪ To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend ♪
♪ And I woke up with a headache like my head against a board ♪
♪ Twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before ♪
♪ And I went in seeking clarity ♪
♪ I went to the doctor I went to the mountains ♪
♪ I looked to the children I drank from the fountains ♪
♪ We go to the doctor We go to the mountains ♪
♪ We look to the children We drink from the fountain ♪
♪ Yeah, we go to the Bible We go through the workout ♪
♪ We read up on revival We stand up for the lookout ♪
♪ There's more than one answer to these questions ♪
♪ Pointing me in a crooked line ♪
♪ And the less I seek my source for some definitive ♪
♪ Closer I am to fine ♪
♪ Closer I am to fine, yeah ♪