(Music)
Confused television fairy tales bring growing confusion in the Fairyland.
On a proposal of princess Arabela, powerful magician Vigo departs to visit the narrator Mr. Majer,
to return the matters in order.
Arabela, who with her sister Xenie accompanies Vigo,
falls in love with Majer's son Peter and in the form of a fly she prompts him at a test.
Since the television fairy tales, even after the promise given by Mr. Majer to Vigo, are not in order,
the magician turns Mr. Majer to a dachshund, to prevent further confusion.
He doesn't suspect that Mr. Majer is not at fault, but the evil Rumburak, who is looking forward
that soon the whole kingdom will fall into his lap together with the princess Arabela.
The dachshund Karel Majer
Will the dad eat with us at the table or on the ground with Pajda?
What? No way! Coma Pajda.
You will sit, course, with us. How can you come up with something like that?
Bring sugar.
(a dog's squeak)
- Don't poke here, Pajda! - Watch out, where you tread.
And don't call me Pajda.
- When I do not know, which is which. - Don't you recognize your father?
We have to distinguish them somehow. By a neckband.
And you don't squelch.
- Karel, jump on me on the thigh. - Carefully, you're pulling me like a cat.
Enjoy your meal.
What do we tell people? Surely I cannot say that the father is a Dachshund.
Are you mad? Want to destroy my career?
- Why, it is hot! - Don't spill.
- Give me peace! - No person shall not learn anything.
Honza, do you hear? Neither a word.
If someone asked, say the dad is heavily ill. Clear?
Look, that little one is almost like our Dad.
Are you crazy? I wonder what Dad may be a Dachshund?
- A normal cannot, but mine can. - You're kidding!
I swear. Our Dad is in fact Dachshund. An heavily ill, if someone asked.
Karel, nobody won't see you now. Go for a little run. Is nice there.
- I do not want to. - But go anyway.
You can trace something with Pajda.
Go on your own!
Or do you know what? Take this. They're open down there. Hop!
Wow, a tennis ball! This is it! But it's shedding.
This is a disaster. All night I couldn't sleep. Such a tragedy.
Come on Mom. Most importantly he is healthy.
- What shall we do? - First we have to know the cause.
How did this happen ... and so on.
Today you have said that three people have fingers in it. The envoy, and the girls.
And do you know for certain that it was them?
- For they flew out of the window as pigeons. - And was it really them?
You stand behind them, but I know why. You like this girl.
- What girl? - Don't pretend a fool.
(ringing)
Be cautious.
Petr Majer. Please? No, it can not be. The father is sick.
- They say what's with him? The television, Gross. - Make something up.
Mr. Gross, it's a disorder. Not in the phone. Mental.
It's a mental disorder. So tell the dad that I'll visit him in the afternoon.
This is ruled out! The Dad doesn't recognize anybody.
- He wants to visit the Dad. - No!
- This cannot be, he could bite you. - What will they think there?
That was good. Tell your Dad that we have found a replacement for him.
So don't worry.
His mental disorder was sent by the heaven itself.
At least he does not have to tell him that we we have a bundle of letters from parents,
who do not wish Mr. Majer to destroy their children.
Furthemore, this came here too. But in the afternoon everything will be fine.
We have made arrangements so that nobody will jump into our wave.
(knocking at the door) - Come in.
- Hi. - Hi.
- What's up? Is your father aggravated? - He is, so to say.
What happened?
See, Jirka. What would you do if your Mother turned in a dog?
- Does the father have a hallucination? - Father? No.
So who? Will you say, what's up?
Wait, Jirka. You are the only one whom can I entrust to it.
What would you do, if you were tested and had a black-out?
And suddenly a fly flied in and began to hint.
Correction of the phase shift, the secondary impact parameters, simply perfect.
Fun, isn't it?
- That you have read somewhere? - But no, it happened to me.
And I know who was the fly. A fantastic girl.
And then she came to us with this old guy and he turned our dad into a Dachshund.
And finally they fled by window as pigeons. What to say?
- It will be best if you stay here. - I thought that all girls are stupid.
That I cannot ever fall in love. And suddenly such a fantastic feeling.
- So you see, a fly. Or a pigeon. - A pigeon? Let's try a renoxin.
- You'll stay here. - Nonsense, nothing is with me.
- Everyone says that, Peter. - I wanted advice from you.
Why have I walked here at all.
- For you suffer hallucinations. - Arabela is no hallucination.
I cannot say that I would dislike the world of people, but only something interested me.
Rather say only someone.
What you have on your face, Xenie? Is this a dye?
When people walk like it, so why I not?
- I totally disagree with it. - And can you tell me why?
If you saw what clothes people wear and what we do, it would be a shame for you.
- They wear skirts like this. - But ugh!
We are here like a hundred years behind the apes. You would totally stare at how it looks there.
A and how does it look like there? Just preach us, lovely Xenie.
Nothing is happening here. There it's just roaring. Streets full of cars.
Chimneys smoking, people smoking, everywhere pieces of paper, it is terribly modern there.
Please be silent, talking nonsense.
Why are you calling me to order? If you don't wanna listen, buzz off.
So am I going.
But no, don't argue.
I will not argue. But I wanted to give you an important proposal.
If you introduce cars here, apartment houses and fashion...
- Please, Xenie... - It would be a very important thing.
- Prince Vilibald is waiting. - On the contrary, it would be the end of our kingdom.
- It is equally close. - Now go, I have serious discussion.
With Prince Vilibald?
From childhood I trust you with everything and you never betrayed me.
So tell me, finally, how I can help you.
So I have this picture. Do you know who this is?
Petr Majer. I noticed that you liked him. Likable young one. And about him?
- Would it be possible to take this picture... - And revive him?
This cannot be. I can do a lot, but not this. Moreover, love is the greatest miracle.
Against her, my thaumaturgies are a pitiful botch.
- And can you do something for me? - Maybe...
Would you want him to smile at you?
- He would smile at me and I at him. - So watch it.
- What do you think? - Lord Vigo, thanks.
Then I will leave this staff to you. Even stone will yield to it touch.
I have always kept my duties, but what you want now...
I am a man of honour and aristocrat.
Are you talking back? You could be sorry of that.
Why such a tone? The prince is in a difficult situation.
- I love Sleeping Beauty. - No love.
Now that Majer redid the fairytale, you can forget about Sleeping Beauty.
It would only inhibit in performing your duties. You will find another one.
Understand, Prince. I care that the fairy tales take place
as millions of children in the people empire know them. This is our obligation.
- Just as he that Majer tells them. - I will obey, Your Majesty.
- With heavy heart. I will become a criminal. - Thank you, my friend.
Lord counsellor, be so nice and escort our good prince.
And you, my dear, I want to say that I am grossly dissatisfied with you.
What? What don't you like again?
You are like a fishwife. What about the behavior of the Queen?
Tomorrow come again. Cooks bake a strudel.
(knocking on the door) - Come in.
Does she fly also to you? I have her on my window every day.
She's got used to me. I crumble cakes for her.
I give her nothing and yet she arrives.
- What is this? - A picture.
Dump it. You are too young for it.
And remember for all cases: You cannot make anything more stupid
than to fall in love with a young man from the people kingdom.
- I want to ask you about something, my closest. - What is your suffering, daddy?
Recently, I do not understand with your mother. As if she was not herself.
And I have worries about the fate of our kingdom. This disaster with Little Red Hood,
the poor Vilibald. Come to me. I would like to talk with you in the evening.
Everything will go well, you will see.
You do not know how I wanted to be with you. Certainly it is quieter there.
(yelling children)
Honza, run away!
What is it here? This is a break?
- Who started? - Please, Majer. He struck me in the head.
- Majer, stand up! This is to be done? - They said that my Dad is crazy.
Please, it's because Mr. Majer that I cannot watch television.
Daddy said that I would run even more wild.
Quiet.
Kozelka, sit down.
Please, my Dad is a professor in a madhouse and he said that Majer from television is is a nut.
Stop it! You won't do this to me here. We will solve it at the director.
- So you see, what if he is excluded from school? - I would take it.
- Say your father to come to school. - I cannot.
- Why not? - Because he is a dog. And severely sick.
- Can you not come up with a larger nonsense? - What is your phone number?
4 3 2 1 5 2.
- Mrs. Majer. - Good day, here is the school director Duda.
- Your son here argues that... -... dog? This is nonsense.
He is seriously ill. Unfortunately he cannot. Such a mental disorder. Yes, I will come.
Our little Honzík...
- Do you have him from the same breeders? - Yes. Wow, don't do it to him, he does not like it.
Put him rather to the ground.
I know dogs very well. How old is he? Show your teeth.
- And what's his name, actually? - Well...
Puna.
- So I'm going. I will return the powder tomorrow. - (Puna) Go to the groves.
It's not in a hurry, Mrs. Hermanová.
Such stupid name, Puòa. Next time I will bite you both. Won't I, Pajdo?
Pardon, I could not thing of anything else.
- And before her I cannot say Karel. - So call me Puòa Majer.
- Don't lose temper. Now we must have strong nerves. - Nerves. I don't sleep throughout the nights.
- Sleeping Beauty slept and slept ... - Good, sit down.
And how did it continue? Kozelka, you're not paying attention!
We talk about what the correct version of the fairy tale about Sleeping Beauty.
which Majer's father befuddled in the TV yesterday.
Don't you know? Sit down! Majer.
Sleeping Beauty slept until a prince came and found a castle surrounded by thorns...
Beautiful princess, how I would like to rescue you by kisses, and yet I have to be a robber.
(coughing)
- Princess, I would not expect you here - I see you put off with the robbery.
I will correct it right away. I am a man of honour and aristocrat.
Stand, Vilibald. This is nothing important.
- I want to speak with you. - I'm at your service.
Call me Xenie. Or rather dear Xenie.
A tell me, are you still in love with the Sleeping geese?
- This would not dare, dear Xenie. - Excellent.
- Daddy, I shall get married. - What are babbling? Don't disturb!
- We address state problems. - What, this is not a state problem?
- My bridegroom will be your successor. - And who is he?
- Prince Vilibald. - I won't consent it!
- Can I know why? - He is a simple thief.
He robs sleeping people. This will be my son-in-law?
Who asked him to be a thief? You! And who obliged your requests? He!
He is an obedient and honorary aristocrat.
Certainly he will be a good husband and a good king of the empire.
And I want to have the wedding as soon as possible.
Continue, gentlemen.
My son-in-law. A criminal.
Come watch the television, so that you that Mr. Majer already...
Yes.
- I told you to not speak about it. - You did.
So you see. And now the whole school knows. And because of you the whole of psychiatry.
- You prattlers! - But dad, I wanted to help you.
- I thought that we Jirka would advice us. - So what? Did he?
- So you see. And you have got house arrest. - In a minute the fairy tale begins.
- Mrs. Homolkova, are you ready? - Naturally.
Dear children you will hear a story for a good night.
Behind seven mountains there was the castle, in which a beautiful queen lived.
Every day she sat in front of a magic mirror and asked it a question...
I do not even know how to express my gratitude, dear Vigo.
Snow-white woke up in a bed and saw the faces of seven Dwarfs above her.
Surprised, she asked the smallest one: What is your name?
The dwarf terribly blushed and whispered: Šmudla.
- So we'll do it. - Yes.
Sharpen.
The dwarfs tried together to unlock the chest.
Dwarf Rejpal opened the chest... (whispering, signal interference)
When they opened it, they took from it some dynamite patrons.
Rejpal said, let's explode the whole Fairyland into the air.
Šmudla cheerfully clapped...
- No. Oh my god, what does this mean? - I cannot find the words!
But how is it possible? Mr. Majer is a Dachshund.
The dwarfs crept into the dark corridors of the castle vault
Kejchal and Prófa inserted the explosives to the foundations of the castle...
- What is he doing there? He is supposed to be sick. - Do you hear, what he tells?
- It is a horror! - Calm down. Mental illness.
The dwarfs exploded the realm into the air. And so there was a doom of the whole Fairyland.
Not even a stone upon another was left, dear kids. (laughter)
What shall we do?
We will not wait for tomorrow so that the foreign Majer destroys it again. Let's cancel it.
- As how do I come to it? What will I do? - The ring rang and fairy tales are over.
- Puòto. Actually Karle! - What is it?
He fainted when he saw himself.
How come that he has been again on television? This contradicts the healthy sense.
And that our Dad has four legs, it does not contradict healthy sense?
And how many should he have when he is a dog?
Your Majesty, what shall we do?
Shall we just watch how the dwarfs explode the kingdom?
- So say something. - I do not know what to do. Unable to govern.
You won't give up the throne?
For rescuing the kingdom I will offer half of the kingdom and hand of Arabela.
- You cannot mean it seriously! - There is nothing else to do.
What are the news, Mrs. colleague?
The king offered a half of the kingdom and the hand of Princess Arabela.
(malicious laughter)
Oh, I have been waiting for just this.
(Music)
Translated by Rosetta and Robster