Sincro: wyxchari
Look, Doctor, look. There's the swimming pool, right at the very top of the building.
Oh it's wonderful. I can't wait for a dip in that. Paradise Towers here we come.
That's the problem with young people today, no spirit of adventure.
It's no go. Leave her for another day. Cowardly cutlet.
Leave her for the cleaners.
I think that's enough of that, Mel.
Why? It's great.
Well if you want to stay here watching a guide book
when you could actually be enjoying the real thing, that's up to you.
You mean we're nearly there?
Paradise Towers any second now.
Fantastic.
You might want to lie by the pool doing nothing all day, I intend to explore.
Paradise Towers is supposed to be a remarkable architectural achievement I'm told.
Won all sorts of awards way back in the 23rd century. Are you ready?
Ready? I can't wait.
Well, here we are.
Oh no.
Very intelligent little creatures. Oh, look at this. Oh, and this.
It's just rubbish
Nothing's just rubbish if you have an enquiring mind. Hello.
No, Doctor.
Well you never can tell.
You don't happen to know another planet with a swimming pool do you?
Oh why did I have to jettison the pool from the TARDIS?
Well it was leaking.
There's a rather spectacular swimming pool on the planet Griophos, I understand.
Oh, we could try there.
Just one snag.
What's that?
It's for the exclusive use of the Golmaree's.
Who are they?
A rather nasty breed of flesh eating octopi.
Personally I'd rather stay here and explore. I wonder what happened.
It's seen better days, that's what's happened.
Still, now that we're here, I suppose I might as well see what the pool's like.
That's the spirit. This could be fascinating. Are you coming?
Yes but just one thing, Doctor.
If anything goes wrong and we get separated, we meet at the pool, alright?
Oh very well. But we've only just arrived, there's no need to start worry yet.
Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3 reporting.
I am proceeding along Potassium Street, corridor 5673,
section 201, opposite door 782 on floor 35, north side, over.
This is the Chief Caretaker speaking; we are receiving you,
Caretaker number 345 /12 subsection 3. Make your report.
Considerable evidence of multi-coloured wall-scrawl all along this part of street.
Wall-Scrawlers obviously active here, over.
Return noted. Proceed now to report on corridor 5673, section 301.
Very good, Chief.
Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3 reporting. Hi? Hi?
This is the Chief Caretaker speaking; we are receiving you, Caretaker number 345 /12 subsection 3.
You are to proceed to section 301, what's the matter?
Hi. I'm scared, Chief.
At least tell us who you are.
We're the Kangs. Red Kangs are best. Who's best?
Red Kangs. Red Kangs. Red Kangs are best.
So who's best?
The Red Kangs I gather. There are other coloured Kangs?
Yeah, the Blue Kangs but they're...
...Cowardly Cutlets.
And the Yellows but they're only one now.
Why's that?
Just is.
Not got very enquiring minds have you.
Quiet, Doctor.
Are you a Blue Kang?
No, I'm Mel. I don't know what the Kangs are.
We're the Kangs, Red Kangs.
Who are, of course, the best.
They seem to be some sort of gang, all girls by the looks of it. Maybe they'll ask you to join up.
I hope not.
Bin liner.
Pardon?
Bin Liner. Mel. Bin Liner.
Ah, now we're getting somewhere. I'm the Doctor.
Fire Escape.
How d'you do.
I was only trying to be friendly.
Friendly?
Say hello? Hello? Hello?
Ah, he wants to how you do. Do we?
You don't have to do that. What about Mel then?
What's the matter?
You we like, Doctor. What you wear is high fabshion and ice hot for an old one.
Oh thank you very much. But clothes don't maketh the man you know.
No but Kangs all have colours. Blue, Yellow, Red. What is Mel's colour?
Oh I don't have a colour. And I don't want to be a Kang.
We don't want you to be a Kang, not a Red Kang.
Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3 here.
I am proceeding along corridor 5673 towards section 301 on floor 34 north side. Chief?
What is it now?
Do I have to?
Orders are orders, number one rule of the Caretakers, Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3.
But Chief listen, something's going wrong. I know it's going wrong.
After finishing this street, can't I just...
No, Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3, you can't.
But Chief?!
Orders are orders, number one rule of the Caretakers, Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3.
Yellow Kang the last believed unalive. Reason not known.
Red Kangs, Red Kangs, Red Kangs are best.
Red Kangs, Red Kangs, Red Kangs are best. Red Kangs, Red Kangs, Red Kangs are best.
Red Kangs are best. Yes, well now that we've been introduced,
I think that some explanations are in order.
We're visitors to Paradise Towers, only just arrived,
so you can't really expect Mel to understand what you're talking.
No visitors.
Pardon?
No visitors, no ball games, no fly posts, no visitors.
You mean visitors aren't allowed?
No visitors ever.
Not since time start.
Well there always a first time. I mean not everyone you're going to meet is going to be a Kang.
No. There are old ones and caretakers and the...
Reta!
I see. And who are these Caretakers?
They wipe away our wallscrawl, chase us down Carrydoors, catch us if they can.
I see. And all the young ones are Kangs.
Yes.
Or girls, I should say. There don't seem to be any boys.
Boys? Boys? What are boys? There are the old ones and caretakers and Kangs and the... That is all.
I see. Well I must say it's been nice meeting you
but I think it's time we must be on our way, don't you think so, Mel.
Yes, Doctor. Not a moment to lose.
We heard you talk of the pool.
The Great Pool in the Sky.
Did you? Oh, I expect your ears were playing tricks on you.
You're coming with us to our hide-in.
I wonder what Blue Kangs behave like this.
As instructed, I'm proceeding along corridor...
Chief? Chief? Are you receiving me? Chief?!
Oh no. No, it can't be. The Chief told us... Chief!?
Yes, Caretaker number 345 /12 subsection 3.
Oh, thank goodness you're there, Chief.
Now don't panic, Caretaker number 345 /12 subsection 3.
But Chief it's...it's...
Yes, I know.
It seems the art of knot tying hasn't died out here.
I thought they liked you.
They liked my clothes, which is clearly not enough.
Are they tied and true?
Yes.
Ready, Fire Escape.
Red Kang Eye-spy says we can't go through usual carrydoor, Red Kangs out and lurking.
And the Yellows?
No Yellows, all unalive now.
All?
All.
Excuse me.
What?
Did you say that a whole tribe of Yellow Kangs have been wiped out;
I mean made unalive just like that.
But why? You didn't kill them did you?
To make unalive is not part of the Kang way. No ball games, no fly posts, no wipe-outs.
Who did it then? The Caretakers, the Blue Kangs, I mean who?
It takes place.
We've been in the open spaces for too long, we must go. Ware Blue Kangs, build high for happiness.
Build high for happiness.
A nice little snack coming up for you, my beauty.
So you'll grow up big and strong. That's Daddy's little pet.
I've located a whole group of them, Chief. Large as life and twice as nasty.
Excellent.
Attention all caretakers, abandon further work on master plan QYT
and as set out in regulation book 145 proceed instead into standard emergency plan 908b.
Emergency plan 908b certainly.
That is correct. Seize all Red Wall-Scrawlers in Fountain of Happiness square. Now!
Sorry about the pool, Mel.
That's alright, Doctor.
Alright you Kangs, lets be having you.
Who are you?
That doesn't matter. Are you the Caretakers?
Yes!
And you take care, of people, that is.
Maybe.
You seem to be our best bet so far, don't you think, Mel. Mel? Where's Mel.
No, no, no, sunbeam. You're coming with us.
Doctor? Doctor?!? Doctor!?! Oh that's done it, what now?
Cooee. Cooooeeee. Would you care for a cup of tea?
Hello.
I said would you care for some tea and some cakes?
Yes. Thank you.
Is she coming, Tilda?
Yes.
How does she look?
Very nice.
Is she fat?
Sshhh, sshhh. Oh She's nearly here, dear. Oh my goodness, Tabby, look at that table. Quick.
Hello.
My friend Tabby is just tidying up.
We're both very house proud you see, particularly when we have guests.
Yes, I think it's alright to go in now. Come in dear.
I'm Tilda, by the way. What's you name?
Oh, Mel.
Oh Mel! Mel. What a delicious name. Tabby, this is Mel.
Hello.
Hello, dear. Come in and make yourself comfortable.
Thank you.
Oh look at your poor hands. We can't allow that, can we Tilda.
Of course not. Sit down, dear. Let Tabby untie you; I'll put the kettle on.
Oh, you must have been having a horrid time. Who did this to you?
The Kangs. The Red Kangs.
Oh those Kangs, they're naughty girls. You're not a Kang are you?
Ah no.
No, we didn't think you were somehow. They're nasty, untrusting girls,
who would never take a cup of tea from two harmless old ladies like us, would they Tabby.
Oh no, dear, no. There you are.
Oh, Thank you.
Oh, Mel's not at all like a Kang.
She's a nice, polite, clean, well spoken girl. Just the sort we like.
Excuse me.
There you are, Tilda, what did I say.
Lovely manners, saying excuse me before asking a question. What was it dear?
I was just going to ask who you were. I mean the Kangs are the Kangs and the Caretakers are the...
Oh silly, us. We're the Rezzies.
The Rezzies?
Well, we're some of the Rezzies anyway.
We have a few like minded friends here and there in the towers.
Have you always lived here.
Oh we've been here for ever such a long time, if that's what you mean. How about you?
Oh I'm just visiting.
A visitor. Well, well, must be a long time since the towers saw any of those, hey Tilda?
Takes you back, doesn't it.
Does it? What was it like before?
Oh, never mind about that, dear, have some tea and cakes.
Oh yes.
Thanks. I'm really hungry.
Yes. You're a thin little thing, aren't you?
Never mind, dear, Tilda and I will feed you up. Won't we?
Well?
You're allowed to stop one and a half minutes for every three thousand steps walked.
And that means?
You can stand still for... a while.
Oh, very generous of you.
It must be a job trying to keep these corridors clean and tidy like this.
Oh yes, especially the wallscrawl.
Oh so that's what you call them. Wallscrawlers.
Yes. Dirty pests. Well look at it.
By my two tickers, what's that?
What's what?
Well it looks like a Kang and something attacking it, some sort of claw.
Oh here look there's a drill and down here there's a nozzle sucking things up.
Yes, well the Wallscrawlers make up a lot of silly pictures.
Let's hope they're just silly pictures. What's that?
I don't hear anything. Look, Sunbeam, if there was anything wrong,
there'd be instructions in here about how to deal with it, wouldn't there? Erm?
Oh, I see. It's some sort of robotic cleaner with autri-motive, bi-carbol scraping blades.
You don't understand.
No, I don't but I intend to. Now let's have a look at those autri-motive blades, shall we. Ah, yes.
D'you usually do, what I usually do in these circumstances?
What's that?
Run!
Of course, in the old days, things were very different, weren't they, Tabby.
Oh very different, Tilda.
Then what happened?
Well my memories not what it was but one thing followed another
and before we knew where we were, we were in the pickle we are today.
Now everyone has to fend for themselves, take what they can find.
Have another cake, Mel dear, go on.
Alright then. So you were here from the beginning then?
Oh yes, dear, yes, ever since the Great architect finished Paradise Towers
and all the youngsters and all the oldsters were moved here.
And the rest, the in-betweens?
Oh well, I don't quite recall. I think they had some else to do? A war to fight or something.
All such a long time ago. I often wonder whether we won that war or not.
I don't suppose we'll ever know now, Tabby.
No I don't suppose we will, Tilda.
Do you know anything about a swimming pool?
A swimming pool? No I don't think so. I've never heard of one. Have you, Tabby?
No I haven't, Tilda. Oh you'd be far better off to stay here with us. Wouldn't she, Tilda?
Oh yes, Tabby. She can eat and eat till her heart's content
and get nice and plump and healthy, safe from those nasty.
It's very kind of you both but I'm afraid I will have to go once I've finished my tea.
It's very important.
Oh nonsense, dear. Finish your cake.
No, we'll be very offended if you just rush off so quickly. Won't we, Tilda?
Well, just a few more minutes, maybe.
That's it, dear, plenty of time.
All the time in the world. Make the most of the peace and quiet.
Are these old ladies annoying you?
No.
Are you annoying these old ladies?
No, she isn't.
Oh.
And I do wish you wouldn't keep breaking down our door to save us.
That's the third time we've had it repaired and it's not as if we've ever been in any trouble.
Apart from bits of door flying about all over the place.
Look, who exactly are you?
The name's Pex. I put the world of Paradise Towers to rights.
Quick in the lift.
But I thought you said the lifts here don't work?
No, they don't. Aahh.
Here let me.
Going up?
No, I really do have to go but you have been very kind.
Oh it does seem a pity when we were so comfortable.
You mustn't be put off by him.
Oh I wasn't. Don't you worry. But I really must find my friend and the pool.
You will come and see us again soon, won't you, dear?
Maybe bring your friend.
Oh, of course. Thank you for everything.
Till next time, dear.
Well, we'll be looking out for you, dear.
Yes, bye.
Would you mind going now too please?
Just a minute.
What is it now?
You're going on a dangerous journey. You need me to protect you.
I most certainly do not.
But that's my job. I'm Pex, I put the world of Paradise Towers to rights.
Yes, I know all that but I still don't need you.
Well if you don't need a protector, you might need a guide? Somebody who knows their way about?
Alright. I may live to regret this.
I don't believe it. It's not possible. It can't be. It could be.
Hail the Kang. Hail the unalive Kang. Yellow of colour but brave and bold as a Kang should be.
Pex, what's going on? Pex, what's happening in Paradise Towers?
Brave and bold as a Kang should be. Brave and bold as a Kang should be.
Chief!
Later, Deputy. Release him. Greetings. I am the Chief Caretaker.
How d'you do. I am...
No need to tell me. I know who you are. You are the man who brought Paradise Towers to life.
The visionary who dreamed up its lift and pools and squares.
And now you have returned to your creation.
You will make all those dilapidated lifts rise and fall as they've never done before.
All signs of wallscrawl will disappear from the corridors of Paradise Towers.
The floor will gleam, the windows will shine and all will be made as new.
Fellow Caretakers, d'you know who this is. This is the Great Architect returned to Paradise Towers.
Bid him welcome. All Hail the Great Architect, all hail.
All hail the great architect.
What shall we do with him now, Chief?
Kill him.