[ Screaming ]
[ Car Alarms Wailing ] [ Dogs Barking ]
[ Panting ]
I HATE THOSE THINGS.
OH.
???? [ "Reality Used To Be A Friend of Mine" ]
?? OOO-OOO OOO-OOO ??
?? REALITY USED TO BE A FRIEND OF MINE ??
?? MAY BE WHY THE QUESTION THAT'S ON YOUR MIND ??
?? BUT REALITY USED TO BE A FRIEND OF MINE ??
?? REALITY USED TO BE A FRIEND OF MINE ??
?? PLEASE DON'T ASK ME 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHY ??
?? BUT REALITY USED TO BE A FRIEND OF MINE ??
?? I USED TO BE FRIENDS WITH REALITY ??
?? SHE USED TO BE A PAL REAL CLOSE TO ME ??
?? BUT SHE TRIED TO HIDE FROM ME WHAT WAS IN STORE ??
[ Howling ]
[ Woman ] STANLEY, IS THAT --
UMMM. PUT THAT BACK !
HEY, I JUST WASHED ALL THIS STUFF.
IT'S MY GEAR. SORRY, MAN.
IT'S OKAY. WHAT'S MY MOM
SHE'S BUMMED 'CAUSE I SNAKED YOUR LAST BAGEL.
GRAB A SHOVEL, MAN.
YOU DON'T WANNA HELP, THAT'S JUST FINE.
[ Stoney ] UH-HUH.
DAVE, BE MORE OF A GEEK. THERE'S NO WAY
[ Girl ] YOU'RE A DISEASE.
AND NO ONE WILL EVER SWIM IN THIS STUPID POOL.
LATER.
LOOK, DAVID, PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR
HIGH SCHOOL IS OVER, BUDDY.
GET INTO IT. WE'RE LOSERS.
I'VE DECIDED SOMETHING, STONEY. I WANNA LOOK BACK ON
AND THINK THAT I STARTED SLOWLY BUT I FINISHED
HIGH SCHOOL'S ALMOST OVER AND I DON'T HAVE
I KNOW, ME NEITHER. YOU SHOULD BE STOKED
'CAUSE YOU GOT THROUGH THE LAST FOUR YEARS WITHOUT
IT'S NOT ENOUGH. I MEAN, I WANT MY OWN
JUMP OFF THE GYM, SPLATTER ON THE STREET
IT'S NOT FUNNY. I'M NOT GOIN' DOWN AS
WHEN I FINISH THIS POOL, I'M GONNA HAVE THE
I'M GONNA BE THE PROM KING ! AND I'M GONNA GRADUATE A LEGEND.
[ Stoney ] WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME ?
OH, WELL YOU'LL BE THERE TOO.
THANKS, BUT ROBYN SWEENEY, SHE'S NOT GOIN' TO
-I WISH SHE WOULD BUT SHE'S NOT. -WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT ?
ROBYN SWEENEY IS MINE.
SHE'S BECOME A MAJOR BABE AND SHE LOVES ME.
SHE FINDS YOU CRUSTY, DAVE.
SHE'LL SEE THE TRUTH.
LIFE'S ABOUT GREASIN' THE DO-BACK, BUDDY
HIGH SCHOOL WAS INTERESTING, RIGHT,
BUT IT WAS KIND OF LIKE A HARSH RIDE.
WE'RE GOIN' ON TO BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS, BUDDY.
STONEY, I AM ON TO BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS.
COUNT ON IT !
[ Stoney Yelling ]
[ Stoney ] OH, WOW !
?? I'M A STONEY CRUSTY DUDE ?? DID YOU KNOW THAT ?
[ Stoney ] ?? I GOT A MOP
EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU MOVE. ME AND MY FRIEND, DAVID
HEY, THERE'S ROBYN. HEY, ROBYN.
FOUR-WHEELIN' OVER THE FERNS.
LOOK, DAVE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MELLOW OUT, BRO,
SHE ALWAYS SHINES YA. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU HAD PRE-FRESHMAN HISTORY. YOU COULD'VE
SHE HADN'T HIT "BABEHOOD" YET.
MILK DOES A BODY GOOD. CHECK HER.
[ Stoney ] SHE'S CLEAN, BUDDY,
AND HE'S GOT HER. [ Chuckles ]
MATT WILSON ? WHAT A JERK.
WHAT DOES SHE SEE IN HIM ANYWAY ?
[ Stoney ] HE'S GOT THE BUFF SPIKES
DUDE, HE'S CHECKIN' HER CHEEKS. OOH !
HE'S GOT THE SERIOUS BEAK, HIS OWN PERSONAL... OH !
FULL OF FUNDAGE, BRO,
THAT HE WEASES OFF OF MA--
[ Stoney ] EIGHTEEN INCH BI'S.
MINE ARE ONLY FOUR.
BESIDES THAT.
HE WALKS LIKE THIS, RIGHT ?
JUST LIKE THIS, THE NUGS FULLY LOOSE.
[ Indistinct Chatter ]
HI, MATT.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. QUIET, PLEASE.
SETTLE DOWN, QUIET. WE'RE GONNA START
SAME PLACE WE ENDED LAST WEEK'S CLASS.
THAT'S TALKING ABOUT PREHISTORIC MAN
IN THE -- ?
ICE AGE. YES, ICE AGE.
WHY DO WE CALL IT THE ICE AGE ? 'CAUSE THERE WAS A LOT OF ICE.
WHAT DO WE CALL THESE BIG CHUNKS OF ICE,
WE CALLED WHAT ? WHAT DO WE CALL THEM ?
RIGHT. YOU ARE PAYING ATTENTION. THAT'S GOOD.
THESE GLACIERS, AS THEY MOVED DOWN OUR WAY,
THEY'RE SO HEAVY, COLD AND THICK THAT THEY
AND THEY FORM UNDERGROUND -- ?
RIGHT. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SOME SCIENTISTS BELIEVE
UNDERGROUND GLACIAL MOVEMENTS STILL IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK THAT IS, CLASS ?
[ Class ] LAME !
LISTEN, PLEASE REMEMBER...
THAT MOST OF THIS HEMISPHERE, INCLUDING THE GROUND
ALL OF THIS WAS UNDER ICE AT SOME POINT, SO I GUESS...
FINDING SOMETHING FROZEN, DUG UP HERE OR THERE,
WOULDN'T BE THAT UNCOMMON WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
SO MOVING RIGHT ALONG ON YOUR JOURNEY OF KNOWLEDGE,
LET ME SHOW YOU CRO-MAGNON MAN.
HE'S DOPE. I'D GO OUT WITH HIM.
[ Class Laughing ] NO, NO.
I DON'T THINK SO, ELLA. CRO-MAGNON MAN, EVEN THOUGH
HE'S STANDIN' UPRIGHT AND ALL, HE WAS EXTREMELY BRUTAL.
HE JUST TOOK WHATEVER HE WANTED...
AND THAT INCLUDED HIS WOMEN.
THAT'S BARBARIC ! INDEED.
???? [ Radio ]
STONE ! STONEY !
???? [ Radio ]
HEY ! COME ON, CHECK THIS OUT.
FEEL THE GROUND, MAN.
WHOA, BUDDY, IT'S CHILLIN'.
IT'S NOT LIKE CHILLIN', CHILLIN'.
BRO, IT IS CHILLIN' ! I KNOW.
IT'S SO, UH -- HELP ME.
CHECK IT, BUDDY.
OH, BUDDY !
DUDE, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS, BRO.
IT'S A MOUSTERIAN BOWL.
HEY, COME ON, DAVID. BE CAREFUL WITH THAT.
WHAT'S A MOUSTERIAN BOWL ?
A MOUSTERIAN BOWL FROM THE MOUSTERIAN ERA.
"PREHISTORIC ARTIFACTS FOR FIVE HUNDRED, ALEX."
DON'T YOU EVER WATCH "JEOPARDY" ?
BUDDY, THIS IS KIND OF LIKE PREHISTORIC TUPPERWARE, BRO.
IT'S STILL PRESERVED... LIKE SMUCKERS !
OOOOW ! [ Barking ]
EARTHQUAKE ! EARTHQUAKE !
[ Rumbling ]
AHHHH !
OH !
OH GOD ! OH GOD !
NICE SAVE, DAVAGE.
STONE ? YEAH.
THERE'S A GUY BURIED IN MY POOL.
[ Screaming ]
HELLO, FRED. I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.
ARE YOU AVAILABLE FOR A MEETING
MS. MORGAN, OPEN THE DOOR !
MOM, THERE'S A GUY BURIED IN OUR POOL !
MOM ! MOM ! OPEN THE DOOR !
[ Indistinct Yelling ] I'M WORKING !
CALL 9-1-1 ! CALL 9-1-1 !
[ Scratching ]
[ Stoney ] THEY NEVER FOUND
YEAH, OR JIMMY HOFFA.
OR JIMMY MAHONEY.
HE WAS A KID I KNEW IN CUB SCOUTS.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
THEY NEVER FOUND HIM.
DAVID, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
IT'S A CAVEMAN. WOULD YOU PLEASE !
NO, I'M SERIOUS.
NO WAY !
WHOA. A CAVEMAN !
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE ! DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS COULD MEAN -- THIS COULD MEAN FAME
OR POPULARITY !
FAR TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY FOR ME.
ANYWAYS, I'M ALREADY POPULAR.
YEAH, YOU TRAVEL IN LARGE GROUPS
BESIDES, THIS IS MY ONE CHANCE TO MAKE
YOU GOTTA HELP ME DIG HIM OUT. YOU WERE HERE.
I DON'T WANNA BE PART OF ANYTHING, DAVE.
IT COULD MEAN MONEY.
YOU TELLIN' ME YOU COULDN'T USE A,
SOME NEW BELL-BOTTOMS ?
A LITTLE FUN-DAGE ?
WEASE SOME OLDER NUGS WITH A MANSION AND A POOL ?
SOAKIN' UP THE RAYS,
WATCHIN' ALL THE "JEOP-ARDY" YOU CAN HANDLE ?
THAT WAS THE CLINCHER. EVERYBODY'S GOT A PRICE.
[ Lawn Mower Motor ]
STEADY IT ! GIVE IT MORE GAS,
PERFECT ! HOLD !
THIS THING WEIGHS A TON.
AHH !
HEY, THERE'S HIS PITS, BRO.
[ David ] THAT'S HIS HEAD.
THAT'S HIS SKULL.
[ Snoring ]
GET OFF ME !
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' ?
OW ! COME ON, LET'S GET UP.
HE'S STILL IN HERE.
NO KIDDING, DAVE. HE'S AN ICE CUBE.
WE GOTTA THAW HIM OUT.
THIS HAS GOTTA BE OUR SECRET, OKAY ?
YOU CAN'T TELL ANYBODY... NOBODY !
CAN I TELL STEVE KOOSER ?
ALL RIGHT ? NOBODY ! YOU UNDERSTAND ?
THANK YOU. DEE-DO-DAH.
???? [ Rock ]
????
THIS IS KIND OF NICE.
HI, ROBYN. HI, DAVE.
GUESS WHAT I FOUND ?
NO. COME HERE. GUESS WHAT I FOUND ?
I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE NO IDEA.
[ Whispering ] I FOUND A CAVEMAN.
SHH. YEAH. OH DAVE,
IT'S COOL, RIGHT ? I FOUND A CAVEMAN.
ALL BY MYSELF. I DUG HIM OUT
YOU WANNA COME CHECK HIM OUT AFTER SCHOOL ?
I'M ONLY INVITIN' A FEW PEOPLE.
TEN MINUTES... PLEASE ?
DAVE, I JUST DON'T THINK I'M READY TO HANDLE A --
A CAVEMAN.
YOU'RE NOT ?
ALL RIGHT.
I UNDERSTAND.
BYE, DAVID.
[ Sighs ] I LOVE IT WHEN
HELLO, DAVID. AGH.
GOIN' SOMEWHERE ?
YEAH, I GOT A DATE WITH YOUR MOM.
IT'S A JOKE. I'M SORRY, JUST KIDDING.
[ Grunting ]
YOU'VE BEEN A HEADACHE EVER SINCE THE THIRD GRADE.
I KNOW ABOUT YOUR STUPID PROM-KING BULLSHIT.
ROBYN WOULDN'T PISS ON YOUR GUMS IF YOUR
- YES, SHE WOULD. - [ Chuckling ]
SHUSH ! HUSH, PLEASE !
SHOWIN' YOUR IGNORANCE AGAIN, MORGAN.
SOME OF US PUMP AND SOME OF US SLUMP.
YOU SHOULD TRY SOME PUMP, MORGAN.
YOU'RE SO -- AM I ?
N-NO, STOP.
STOP IT !
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME DO THIS ?
[ Dave ] WHAT ARE YOU WRITING ?
MATT, NOT THE FIRE ALARM !
MATT ! MATT !
GOD, HELP ! OH GOD !
HEY, COME HERE. OH, TA-HA-HA.
[ Laughing, Jeering ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Sniffing ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Barking ] [ Barking ]
[ Helicopter Whirring ]
[ Screams ]
[ Glass Smashing ]
HMM.
[ Truck Engine ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Engine Revving ]
[ Yelling ]
I'LL BE BACK.
?? THIS IS OUR PHILOSOPHY ALL THESE THINGS
???? [ Continues Indistinct ]
?? NOW IN THIS LAND OF DEMOCRACY WHY NO ONE
?? LADY LIBERTY ROCKS AWAY NO TRUTH, NO JUSTICE ??
?? THE AMERICAN WAY ???? [ Groans ]
?? CLAP YOUR HANDS AND DANCE ??
????
?? TREATY, OO-OH TREATY, YEAH ??
?? TREATY, OO-OH ??
????
[ Gasping ]
HE MELTED.
DAVE, IT JUST WASN'T MEANT TO HAPPEN.
COME ON, I'LL GO BUY YOU SOME HO-HOS.
COME ON. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
HE MELTED.
BORIS !
[ Alarm Sounding ]
[ Screaming ]
WHAT THE --
[ Sizzling ]
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. HE'S ALIVE !
HE WAS PRACTICALLY AN ICE CUBE...
I SAY WE JUST WALK.
OH, PLEASE. HE IS OURS.
WHAT ? BE HOSPITABLE ?
[ Sniffing ]
- OOH ! - AHH ! AHH !
HOW YA DOIN' ? HI, MY NAME IS DAVE.
COME HERE, COME HERE. INTRODUCE YOURSELF.
THIS IS STONEY. STONEY, HE'S MY FRIEND.
UH, THIS IS MY ROOM.
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
UH, WE'RE FROM ENCINO.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.
AND WE HOPE YOU DON'T GNAW ON OUR BEAKS.
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, STONE.
WE GO TO HIGH SCHOOL. HIGH SCHOOL ?
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HIGH SCHOOL IS.
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ANYTHING IS.
JUST BE CALM AND EASY.
CALM... AND EASY.
- [ Ringing ] - [ Screaming ]
- GET THE PHONE. - OKAY. OKAY.
[ Caveman Laughing ]
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
SEE, I THINK HE'S CALMING DOWN.
CALMING... DOWN.
[ Phone Beeping ]
[ Screaming ]
UGH ?
FIRE. FLAMEAGE.
BUDDY'S INTO IT. THAT WAS KILL,
LOOK AT HIS EYES. HE LIKES THE BLUE PART.
HE'S GLOSSY-EYED. LOOK, FREAK
OW ! OOH !
- UGH ! - OKAY. AH, AH !
GIVE IT TO HIM. NO !
UGH. UGH.
- HERE, HERE. LOOK, HERE. -YOU GOTTA TEACH HIM.
WHOA ! OH.
HEY !
NO. NO.
WHAT ? DID YOU JUST --
- I THINK HE JUST SAID "NO." - NO !
- NO ? - NO ! NO !
NO. NO.
COOL, BUDDY. HE IS SO GREASY !
GREASY ? HE'S A PREHISTORIC PYROMANIAC.
WE GOTTA TEACH HIM STUFF.
NO. NO.
NO ! NO ! NO !
OH GOD. WE GOTTA TEACH HIM
NO, UH-UH. WE'RE GOIN' PSYCHO
THAT'S BORING, DUDE, NORMAL !
STONEY, COME ON, MAN. HANG WITH ME.
WE GOTTA PLAY THIS THING OUT.
IF WE TELL ANYONE, IF ANYONE SEES HIM, THEY'LL
THEY'LL CUT HIM UP INTO LITTLE PIECES.
THEY'LL TAKE ALL THE CREDIT, AND WE'LL STILL BE GEEKS.
I'M NOT A GEEK. I'M A UNIQUE WEASEL, DAVID.
I'M JUST UNDERRATED 'CAUSE I LIVE HERE IN ENCINO.
BUD ? BUDDY ?
O-O-O-OW ! OKAY ?
HE NEEDS A BATH... BIG TIME.
?? I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY LOVE ??
?? TOO SEXY FOR MY LOVE LOVE'S GOING TO LEAVE ME ??
????
?? I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT ??
?? TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT SO SEXY IT HURTS ??
?? AND I'M TOO SEXY FOR MILAN ??
?? TOO SEXY FOR MILAN NEW YORK AND JAPAN ??
[ Growling ]
?? I'M TOO SEXY FOR YOUR PARTY ??
?? TOO SEXY FOR YOUR PARTY NO WAY I'M DISCO DANCING ??
????
?? I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY LOVE ??
?? TOO SEXY FOR MY LOVE LOVE'S GOING TO LEAVE ME ??
?? I'M TOO SEXY FOR THIS SONG ????
STANDING O. OUTSTANDING.
IF I HAD A BIC, BRO, RIGHT HERE.
LET'S SHOW HIM HIMSELF.
YOU WANNA SEE YOUR MUG, BUD ?
UGH !
WHAT, DUDE ? YOU SHOULD BE WITH
YOU LOOK BUFF. RIGHT ?
HEY, CAN YOU SAY "BA...UFF" ?
BA...UFF ? [ Laughing ]
I LIKE THAT. YOU KNOW,
WE GOTTA GIVE HIM A COOL NAME.
AXL. YEAH, BUDDY.
NOT AXL. THIS IS SERIOUS.
WE'VE GOT THE MISSING LINK STANDING IN MY BEDROOM.
LINK ! LINK ! WE'LL CALL HIM LINK !
OKAY, COOL. MAYBE WE COULD CALL HIM
BECAUSE HE'S GOT MY SAME 'DO...
AND HE'S FROM THE STONE AGE.
I LIKE LINK BETTER. OKAY, WE'LL
BUT CAN I CALL HIM LINKAGE ?
COOL ! LET'S SEE HOW
NO, NO. COME HERE.
OKAY. OKAY. YOU OKAY ?
UH, UH, LOOK.
SEE ? UGH.
WHOA ! AHH !
AHH, OOW, OOO.
OOOW ! [ Chuckling ]
OKAY, OKAY.
UM, LINK.
LINK. NO !
YOU'RE LINK. I'M DAVE. DAVE !
DAVE. DAVE.
NO, DAVE, DAVE. DAVE, DAVE, DAVE.
DAVE. YES !
OKAY, AND THAT'S --
THAT'S STONEY. MM-HMM.
STO...NEY.
NO, NO. STONEY.
YES ! AHH !
OKAY, OKAY. AND NOW YOU ARE ?
DAVE ! AHH !
NO, NO, I'M DAVE. YOU ARE ?
BUFF.
[ Sighs ] NO.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU'VE HAD A HARD DAY.
- YOUR PARENTS ! - MY PARENTS !
OKAY, UH, UH, TAKE HIM OUT BACK AND RING
BUT, DAVE -- NO "BUTS,"
FOLLOW THE WEASEL, LINKAGE, COME ON.
[ Banging, Crashing ] MY KITCHEN !
BUSTED !
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
I'M COOKING DINNER.
YOU'RE WHAT ? BUSTED !
I'M COOKING DINNER. I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE
THEY'RE SURPRISED, ALL RIGHT.
[ Ringing ]
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ?
WHERE'S THE FLOUR ? I CAN'T FIND THE FLOUR.
HELLO, STANLEY. WHO IS THIS STRANGE BOY AND
IT GOT STUCK, SIR. COME IN.
[ Father ] WHOSE FAMILY ?
BORIS, GET DOWN ! BORIS !
- BORIS, GET OUT ! -[ Dave ] GET DOWN !
-[ Link Screaming ] - GET OUT, GET OUT !
HEY, DAD.
DAVID, WHO IS THAT ?
THAT ? WHO'S THAT ?
- THAT WAS LINKAVITCH CHOMOFSKY. - WHAT ?
LINK... LINKAV-- DOESN'T ANYBODY IN THIS HOUSE
WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT ?
DAD, LINKAVITCH CHOMOFSKY.
OUR EXCHANGE STUDENT ? HE'S HERE.
HE'S GONNA HELP US DIG THE POOL.
- YEAH ! - [ Sighs ]
WHY DOES NONE OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO ME ?
I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS MONTHS AGO, REMEMBER ?
ABOUT SCHOOL GIVING US EXTRA CREDIT FOR COLLEGE
AND LEARNING ABOUT THEIR CULTURE AND
NOW YOU'RE GONNA TAKE IT BACK ?
NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT BACK.
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME. THIS IS MY LIFE.
IT'S EMBARRASSING. HE TRAVELLED HERE
- I DON'T KNOW, ESTONIA ? - YEAH, ESTONIA !
MOM, COME ON. YOU'RE NOT BUYING THIS ?
WELL, I -- DAD ?
ACTUALLY, I, I, I THINK NOW...
THAT I, I, I DO RECALL SOMETHING.
- SEE ? - SEE, IT'S ABOUT FOCUSING.
YOU'RE BOGUS. LARRY, HOW COULD I FORGET
HE'S AN EXCHANGE STUDENT. HE'S GOING TO BE STAYING
YOU FORGOT ME IN THE THIRD GRADE.
I SPENT THE ENTIRE NIGHT AFTER THE PLAY IN THE PARKING LOT.
OKAY, WHERE'S HE GONNA STAY ?
AND WHY IS HE ATTACKING THE DOG ?
HE'S GONNA STAY IN MY ROOM. HE'S NOT ATTACKING THE DOG.
- AS IF ! - SHUT UP !
- YOU SHUT UP. - NO, EVERYBODY SHUT UP.
LARRY, IT'S OKAY. I'M TIRED.
IT'S TIME WE DECIDE WHAT WE'RE GONNA MAKE
I ASSUME YOU'LL BE JOINING US ?
WE PRACTICALLY FEED THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD. WHY NOT
I ALWAYS EAT HERE AND I LIKE YOUR FOOD.
GREAT. [ Ringing ]
STOP IT ! NO.
NO, NO, NO. [ Rings ]
[ Dave ] I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD
[ Stoney ] COW PAJAMAS ?
OOH !
SOME BETTY, HUH ? BETTY.
GONZANGAS.
GONZANGAS ? BUDDY, CONES.
I KNOW YOU'VE HAD A BIG DAY, PAL.
I'M GONNA TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL.
TACO BELL. BETTER.
CONGRATULATIONS, LINK. YOU'RE GONNA BE A SENIOR.
SMILE.
?? WILD THING ??
?? YOU MAKE MY HEART SING ??
?? YOU MAKE EVERYTHING GROOVY ??
?? WILD THING ??
OH GOD, HE DOESN'T LIKE THAT.
THAT'S GLASS. THAT HURTS YOUR BEAK.
STAND UP STRAIGHT.
[ Stoney ] POOR STONE-AGER.
HE SPENT A MILLION YEARS CHILLIN' IN A BLOCK OF ICE,
NOW HE'S GOTTA GO TO HIGH SCHOOL ! AGH !
WHO'S THAT GUY WITH THE DORK SQUAD ?
OH MY GOD, HE IS TOTALLY RUDE.
WE HAVE GOT A MAJOR FIND HERE.
THIS GUY'S OUR TICKET TO FAME AND POPULARITY.
ALL WE GOTTA DO IS GET HIM ENROLLED IN SCHOOL AND HE'LL
THAT'S HARSH. WE'LL MAKE HIM FAMOUS.
WE'LL TEACH HIM SOME STUPID PET TRICKS AND
YOU'RE WEASIN' OFF HIS GIG.
OH PLEASE ! HE'S A CAVEMAN,
LOOK AT HIM. HE'S PRACTICALLY
WE FOUND HIM. WE CAN DO WHATEVER
WE, WE, WE ? NO, NO, NO.
I JUST WANNA BE HIS FRIEND.
FINE.
HELLO, MRS. MACKEY.
AND WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE ?
NOW I'M COVERED UP TO FOURTH PERIOD.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIM AFTER THAT.
WILL YOU BE CAREFUL ? I'LL BE COOL, MAN.
OKAY.
WHAT'S HE DOIN' ?
[ Dave ] I DON'T KNOW.
LINK, BE CAREFUL !
UH, HEY, HEY --
HEY, LINK, HOW'S YOUR MELON, BUD ?
[ Sniffing ]
WHOA !
EXCUSE ME. HEY, HEY, HEY !
[ Grunting ] WHOA.
LINK ?
IS THIS DUDE TOTALLY FUNDAMENTAL
DID YOU MISS ME ? ALWAYS.
WHO IS THIS ? THIS IS
LINK. HE'S STAYING WITH US.
YOU'RE KIDDING ? THIS GUY IS STAYING WITH YOU ?
UH-HUH.
HE'S THINKIN' OF BECOMING A HAIRDRESSER.
DESIGNING CRUSTY MOPS FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS.
OH.
UGH. GONZANGAS.
NO ! BYE, ROBYN.
I THINK HE WAS SAYING HE LIKES YOUR CONES.
I'M THRILLED. GET OUT OF MY FACE !
ROBYN, THAT IMPORT IS MINE.
THIS IS JUST IN TIME FOR PROM.
IS HE FINE OR WHAT ?
HE'S A LOOKER ! LINK. LINK !
LINK, PLEASE, COME SIT DOWN.
WHO IS THIS DIPSHIT, ANYWAY ?
HIS NAME'S LINK.
HE'S FROM ESTONIA AND I THINK HE'S JIVE.
JIVE, YEAH. YOU DO ?
HELL YEAH, AND I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE.
HEY, LINK !
[ Coughing ]
[ Bell Ringing ] I'LL SEE YOU
WATCH HIM. ALL RIGHT, DAVID.
WE GOT SPANISH NOW. SPANISH IS LIKE GUACAMOLE,
La d?a es mi en hermanos.
THE DAY IS BEAUTIFUL. ???? [ Rap ]
THE SUN ISN'T SHINING ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT.
????
LINK, COME ON. SORRY, YOU GUYS.
WHOA !
Vale, repitan en Espanol.
THE CHEESE IS OLD AND MOLDY.
[ Class ] El queso est?
[ Teacher ] WHERE IS THE BATHROOM ?
¿¿ D?nde est? el sanitario ?
[ Teacher ] GOOD, ONCE AGAIN.
YOU'RE CUTE.
MEET ME AT BLADES TONIGHT.
BLADES TONIGHT.
YES, WHAT ? YOU CAN DROP HIM OFF IN FRONT
CAN DAVID AND I GO TOO, PLEASE ?
YOU SMELL.
HEY, seniorita. THAT HURT MY LOBES.
I DIDN'T DO IT. THEY STARTED THE WHOLE THING.
KASHMIR ? RAJNEESH, IS IT ?
HOW MANY MINUTES FOR THE BURRITO ?
[ Rajneesh ] ONE MINUTE.
AH, MAKE UP YOUR MELONS !
IS IT ONE OR TWO ? [ Rajneesh ]
OKAY.
OKAY, MY FRIEND. TRY AND EXPERIENCE...
WHAT I'M ABOUT TO CHIRP IN YOUR LOBES, COOL ?
WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS GRINDAGE;
HOW TO FILL THE FURNACE, PACK THE CHEEKS AND
YOU'RE USED TO EATING TWIGS, RIGHT ?
BUT HERE IN THE U.S. OF A-AGE WE GOT SOMETHING CALLED...
THE FOUR BASIC FOOD GROUPS, AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF 'EM.
OH.
LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE HERE.
DAIRY GROUP. DAIRY GROUP.
MILK DUDS. HIDE THESE UNDER YOUR PILLOW SO
IF SHE DOES, YOU'RE TWEAKED, BUDDY.
KEEP ON CRUISIN'.
FRUIT GROUP. SWEET TARTS.
THESE ARE KILLER. SO CITRUSY, DUDE,
KEEP ON CRUISIN'. UH-HUH.
RIGHT, THIS IS THE VEGETABLE GROUP.
CORN NUTS ! PUT 'EM ON A PEDESTAL, BRO.
LOOK AT THAT ! THOSE ARE KILL, HUH ?
MEAT GROUP ! COME ON, THE MEAT GROUP.
THESE ARE MY FAVORITE !
HEY, YOU GOTTA BE EQUAL, EQUAL, FIFTY/FIFTY.
HERE. MMM. MMM.
OOH ! FIGURES.
HOT ON THE OUTSIDE, ICICLE IN THE MIDDLE.
YOU LIKE THAT, RIGHT, 'CAUSE YOU'RE A CAVEMAN.
COOL, BUDDY.
THE BEVERAGE ! ICEE, BRO.
THIS IS WHAT PUT THIS PLACE ON THE MAP.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MR. STONEY ? NO, NO !
- YOU CAN'T DO THIS HERE. - YOU MUST LEAVE NOW, PLEASE.
-LOOK, KASHMIR, RAJNEESH, CHILL. -NO BUDS CHILL !
LINK AND I ARE CRUISIN' THE MOUNTAIN AND
- NO WEASIN' THE JU-UICE. - WEASE THE JUICE !
NO ! NO WEASIN' THE JUICE.
NO WEASIN' THE JUICE.
HEY, JUST CHILL, BUDS.
IT'S OKAY. JUST CHILL.
I'LL BE BACK. NO BUDS CHILL !
[ Screaming ]
OH GOD, NO ! WAIT ! STOP !
HERE WE GO !
[ Screaming ]
COMIN' HOME !
WAS THAT THE HOTTEST OR WHAT, BRO ?
[ Stoney ] ?? JOY TO THE FISHES
?? JOY TO YOU AND ME ?? [ Dave ]
WHERE DID YOU GO ? YOU JUST TOOK OFF.
DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN ?
YOU SOUND LIKE MY MOM.
WHAT'S ON HIS NOSE ?
JUST CHILL, DAVE, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHY ?
LINK AND I HAD A STONEY TIME AT THE MOUNTAIN.
YOU TOOK HIM TO MEGA MOUNTAIN ?
YEAH, 'CAUSE THEY'RE RIDING THE VAPOR IN REVERSE.
THEY ARE ? OH, COOL.
CHECK OUT THE FRESH NUGS. WEASIN' THE JUICE.
O-O-O-OW. O-O-O-OW.
BUDDY. BUDDY.
[ Link ] CHECK OUT MY CAP.
OH MY GOD ! YOU GOT HIM
O-O-O-OW. O-O-O-OW.
GEE, LINK, THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
YOU KNOW, MR. M., THE WAY I LOOK AT IT,
YOUR DAUGHTER AND I COULD BE MARRIED...
AND WE COULD BE RELATED.
SO, STANLEY, HOW'S YOUR MOTHER ?
SHE'S REALLY BUMMED. CAN YOU PASS THE PEAS ?
SURE. THANKS.
MR. MORGAN, IF YOU'RE EDGED 'CAUSE I'M WEASIN' ON YOUR
'CAUSE IF I HAD THE WHOLE BRADY-BUNCH
I'D GO GRIND OVER THERE.
SO DON'T TAX MY GIG SO HARD CORE, CRUSTER.
- STANLEY, SPEAK ENGLISH. - DAD !
LINK, HOW WAS YOUR DAY ? HOW ARE YOU ADJUSTING ?
HE'S DOIN' JUST GREAT. WE GOT HIM ENROLLED
DIDN'T WE, PAL ? YEAH.
A SUCCESS. [ Fly Buzzing ]
WHAT'S UP ?
HOW WAS YOUR DAY, MOM ? WHERE YOU GOIN' ?
- WHAT'S HE DOIN' ? - I THINK HE'S TRACKING A FLY.
?? SHOO, FLY DON'T BOTHER ME ??
?? 'CAUSE YOU BELONG TO MY FRIEND, LINK ??
GOOD CATCH.
MEAT GROUP !
[ Sniffing ]
HE'S INTO MUNCHIN' TOO, YOU KNOW.
BLADES... FINALLY PART OF THE ELITE.
HOW COOL ARE WE ? WE'RE COOL.
DAVID, I EVEN SHOWERED. CHECK OUT MY --
I GOT SOME RADICAL DEODORANT ON, BUDDY.
?? OH NO YOU'RE INVITED BUT
LINK, HEY !
I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.
OH, HON, LOSE THE GEEK SQUAD. THEY'RE BAD FOR YOUR DEAL.
BLADES !
HUMMER PATROL, BARNEYS INCOMING.
ROBYN.
GET HIM. GOT HIM.
HEY, ROB--
ROBYN !
GOOD. GOOD.
THAT WAS NOT COOL AT ALL, YOU GUYS.
YOU COULD HURT HIS PANCREAS OR SOMETHING.
I LIKE THE KETCHUP AND MUSTARD.
WHOA ! IS THAT ME ?
BETTY. BETTY ?
BETTY, BETTY NUGS. BETTY NUGS.
ROBYN, DON'T FORGET,
WE'VE BEEN NAKED TOGETHER.
NICE BODY. REMEMBER WHEN
DID YOU SHOW THIS TO ANYONE ?
THAT'S YOUR COPY. SHOW ANYONE YOU WANT.
OH, I GET IT. THIS IS LIKE YOUR
DO YOU MISS HER ? UGH.
BECAUSE I CAN TELL YOU FROM EXPERIENCE,
LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK OUT.
ESTONIA'S A LONG WAYS AWAY, LINK.
AND I'M RIGHT HERE...
SO LET'S WORK ON CHANGING YOUR MIND.
RAD MOBILE RAD MOBILE.
WHOA !
OR NOT.
YOU JUST THINK I'M BAD FOR YOUR ACT,
RIGHT, AND YOU THINK I'M GOOD FOR YOURS.
WHAT ? MATT !
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' ? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED IN HERE.
WHOA-OA-OA !
WOO ! WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO !
ARE YOU DEAF, DORK ?
DIDN'T I FORBID YOU TO SPEAK TO HER ?
THAT'S ALL, LINK. IT'S OVER.
END OF STORY. [ Yelling ]
[ Indistinct Arguing ]
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
[ Link ] WEASE SOME JUICE !
HEY, YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME ?
OH GOD !
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
I DON'T LIKE YOU.
AS OF NOW, I'M ALL OVER YOU.
DID YOU SEE THAT ? THE NEW KID,
WHOA ! WHOA !
DON'T JUST STAND THERE. DO SOMETHING.
HIT HIM BACK !
LINK, HIT HIM BACK ! WHERE YOU GOIN' ?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BULGARIAN DORK BUD, NOW ?
HMM ?
THAT WAS HARSH, MATT.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
THE STENCH OF LOSERS IS DOING DAMAGE TO MY SINUSES.
JUST STOP IT, MATT. DON'T EVEN COME NEAR ME.
HEY, WATCH IT.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS, 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK
HEY !
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE GOT NAILED.
A PACIFIST CAVEMAN ! YOU'RE MENTAL.
CAVEMENS AREN'T LIKE US, DAVE.
THEY FOUGHT FOR FOOD AND SURVIVAL. THEY DID NOT
WHAT WOULD HE BE FIGHTING FOR, HUH ?
FOR US ! TO BE COOL !
HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT COOL IS.
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HE IS. HE KNOWS NOTHIN'.
HE'S GOTTA LEARN HOW TO DEFEND HIMSELF.
AGAINST WHAT ? AGAINST BUTT HOLES
COME ON. COME ON.
?? I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT ??
[ TV Announcer ] OUR AIRPLANE'S BEEN
[ Dave ] STOP !
HEY, STOP !
?? KNOCK YOU OUT ??
[ Grunting ]
?? I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT ??
?? I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT ????
[ Bell Ringing ]
HEY, LOOK !
HEY, DUDE. YOU TOOK IT FROM WILSON.
NO ONE'S EVER DONE THAT BEFORE AND SURVIVED.
LINK, COME BACK HERE.
OH GOD. HE IS SO COOL.
?? MATTY TOLD HATTY ??
?? 'BOUT A THING SHE SAW ??
?? IT HAD TWO BIG HORNS AND A WOOLY JAW ??
?? WOOLY BULLY ??
?? WOOLY BULLY WOOLY BULLY ??
?? WOOLY BULLY ??
HEY. HOMESLICE.
SEE YOU IN MR. ALBERT'S CLASS.
SLICEY. SLICEY.
HELLO, LITTLE ONE.
WE TOOK A VOTE AND THE COMPUTER CLUB
WILL BE A VALUABLE ASSET TO OUR ORGANIZATION.
COMPUTER CLUB. COMPUTER CLUB.
HOMEBOY.
WHY DOESN'T THAT HAPPEN WHEN MATT HITS ME ?
GIVE YOURSELF A FEW MILLION YEARS, DAVID.
[ Indistinct Chatter ]
LINK. LINK. LINK, GET DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
NO, NO. I WAS JUST PLAYIN'.
[ Teacher ] ALL RIGHT,
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT HERE IS A REPRESENTATION...
OF WHAT CRO-MAGNON MAN'S EVERYDAY LIFE
IF HE WAS HERE TODAY, YOU COULD SIT NEXT TO HIM, YOU WOULD
STONEY, LET'S MOVE ON. WE'RE GONNA LOOK AT
[ Growling ]
CLASS, THIS IS SABER-TOOTHED CAT.
EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN EXTINCT FOR
WHILE HE WAS ALIVE YOU CAN IMAGINE THAT
WAS A TASTY MEAL TO ONE OF THESE.
[ Link Screaming ]
THERE'S ONE NOW. UH-OH.
LET'S LOOK AT THE MAMMOTH DISPLAY,
LOOK OUT ! WHOA.
LINK ! LINK, GET OUT FROM THERE !
LOOK AT HIM. HE'S FLIPPING OUT.
HE KNOWS, DAVE. WHAT ?
HE KNOWS.
HE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.
WE HAVE TO HELP HIM.
LINK.
LINK. LINK.
OW !
LINK.
HEY. HEY, COME ON, MAN.
LOOK, I UNDERSTAND.
FAMILY.
YOU OKAY ?
IT'S OKAY. WE'RE YOUR NEW FAMILY.
WE'RE YOUR NEW FAMILY.
IT'S OKAY.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
[ Stoney ] HE'S BURNT
SEEING AS WE STARTED THE SCHOOL YEAR
AND NOW EVERYONE KNOWS WHO WE ARE,
I DON'T THINK ONE MISTAKE IS SUCH A BIG DEAL.
BUT YOU'RE DOGGIN' HIM. JUST PROMISE ME,
JUST A LITTLE MORE MELLOW, NOT SO MUCH ?
STONEY ! DAVE !
ALL RIGHT.
IF IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER, I'LL BE
ROBYN SWEENEY ? HERE.
AGAIN ? I'M SORRY. I CAN'T GET
WHOA. PARALLEL PARKING IS NOT A THING, UNDERSTAND ?
IT'S NOT A FEELING, NOT A STATE OF MIND,
YEAH. GET IN THE CAR AND
OKAY, MR. BEADY.
- LINKAVITCH CHOMOFSKY ? - UGH, UGH.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT ?
UGH.
GET INSIDE THE CAR...
AND SHOOT YOUR BARBER.
CONTRAST THIS WITH HEMINGWAY'S
WHERE THE BLOOD SPORT OF BULLFIGHTING...
IS USED AND PERHAPS WHAT --
OH GOD. RAD MOBILE !
BOYS, WILL YOU SIT DOWN ? CLASS ?
YOU PROMISED ME MELLOW. THIS ISN'T MELLOW.
LINK ! LINK !
DAVE.
[ Dave ] WATCH THE PEOPLE !
OKAY !
[ Dave ] STONE, TELL HIM TO STOP !
[ Stoney ] DIDN'T PHASE HIM, BRO.
ALL RIGHT, LINK. JOKE'S OVER. STOP !
- HE-E-E-EY ! - STOP THAT CAR, YOUNG MAN !
I'M YOUR TEACHER. BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL !
[ Applause, Cheering ]
WHO WAS THAT ?
CROSSWALK ! CROSSWALK !
CLOSE CALL, BUDDY.
[ Stoney ] HEY, BUDDY !
HI, ROBYN. HI, DAVE.
RED LIGHT ! RED LIGHT !
[ Screeching, Honking ]
BOOM ! UP ON TWO WHEELS !
I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
I GOT THE LICENSE PLATE. IT'S E684-257.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WRITE THAT I LEFT THE KEYS
OW-O-O-O-O !
[ Dave ] I THINK HE'S GOT
THAT CONCLUDES OUR PARALLEL PARKING FOR TODAY.
[ Robyn ] LINK, I THINK YOU
[ Stoney ] HEY, LINK,
[ Dave ] WHERE ARE WE ?
GREAT !
?? MOVE YOUR BODY ??
?? MOVE YOUR BODY TO THE RHYTHM OF LOVE ??
?? MOVE YOUR BODY ??
?? MOVE YOUR BODY TO THE RHYTHM OF LOVE ??
Hola, mi amigos.
IS IT OKAY IF I JUST CHILL UPON HERE ?
YOU WANNA BE A MAN, ese ?
EVENTUALLY, YEAH. BUT I'M ALMOST THERE.
LOOK AT MY PATCH, BRO. OHH !
Mucho macho. OOH.
OH, THIS IS TEQUILA ?
WAIT, WHERE'S THE WORM ?
THE WORM'S RIGHT THERE, ese.
UT-UH. I'M A WEASEL.
A WEASEL, EH ? YOU WANNA BE
- YOU WANNA BE A MAN ? - THEN DRINK LIKE AN hombre.
NO, I CAN'T. YOU'RE SHOWING US
AH, YOU GUYS --
THAT'S DISRESPECTFUL, WEASEL.
BE A MAN, ese. DRINK IT UP.
DRINK LIKE A MAN.
YOU CAN DO IT, WEASEL.
YOU CAN DO IT. Andale.
[ Howling ]
WAIT. i Otra, otra !
Otra vez, otra vez, otra vez.
OKAY, OKAY, STOP !
FIVE MORE, MAN.
[ Chanting ] WEASEL, WEASEL.
[ Howling ]
[ Chanting ] WEASEL, WEASEL.
WAIT, STOP. DUDE, DO I HAVE
????
HEY, STONE. HEY.
WHERE'S LINK ? DANCIN'.
????
COOL, LET'S GO DANCE.
I'M NOT GOOD. LET'S NOT DANCE.
I, I JUST DON'T LIKE TO DANCE.
HEY, WEASEL. WHAT'S HAPPENING ?
DAVE, ENRIQUE. HEY, MAN,
YOU SEE THAT muchacha OVER THERE ?
OH MAN, YEAH. YOU SEE HER ?
DON'T BE LOOKIN' AT HER, MAN !
YOU SEE HER ? NO.
IF I SEE ANY MAN LOOKING AT MY muchacha,
BE RECOGNIZABLE AS A MAN.
I WANT YOU vatos TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
SEE YOU LATER, WEASELS.
?? FEEL THE RHYTHM FEEL THE RHYTHM EVERYWHERE ??
?? FEEL THE RHYTHM FEEL THE, FEEL THE
?? MOVE YOUR BODY ??
?? MOVE YOUR BODY TO THE RHYTHM OF LOVE ??
CHOMOFSKY. CHOMOFSKY.
GOT IT.
CHOMOFSKY.
RABIES, DISTEMPER, FLEA DIP.
WHAT IS THIS ?
IT'S A DOG LICENSE, MAN.
ANIMAL SHELTER.
WHAT ARE THE TWO BIGGEST LOSERS
A DOG ? IT'S NOT
MM-HMM.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
?? DANCE ??
?? YOU KNOW YOU REALLY TURN ME ON ??
?? COME ON NOW, HONEY ??
?? YOU KNOW YOU REALLY TURN ME ON ??
?? GET FILLED GET FILLED ??
?? AND WHEN WHEN, OH WHEN YOU DO IT ??
?? UH-UH-UH-OH THAT'S THE SONG ??
????
[ Screams ]
WOW ! WOW !
?? UH-UH-UH-OH THAT'S MY SONG ??
?? LET'S DO IT LET'S DO IT
?? COME ON AND JUST STICK IT TO ME ??
?? YOU TURN ME ON COME ON NOW, SUGAR ??
YOU'RE RIGHT, ese. SHE'S NOT WORTH IT.
- THE vato's GOT THE POINT. - SHE AIN'T WORTH IT, HOMES !
COME HERE, vato.
POLICE. Immigraci?n.
[ Dave ] LET'S GET
OH SHIT !
STONE, TAKE ROBYN. [ Burp ]
ROBYN, TAKE STONE. GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
I'LL MEET UP WITH YOU GUYS LATER.
[ Robyn ] COME ON, I'LL DRIVE.
[ Making Monkey Sounds ] LINK !
THE COPS ARE HERE. GET DOWN.
COME ON. WE'RE GONNA GET BUSTED !
YOU ARE BUSTED. GET DOWN, MAN.
[ All Together ] STONEY IS THE CRUSTIEST vato...
I'VE EVER WITNESSED.
SO DON'T HUSH HIS GIG, BUDDY.
OW-O-O-O !
[ Indistinct Chatter ]
[ Stoney ] EH, BUDDY !
BYE, GUYS. DRIVE SAFELY.
NICE ELEMENT YOU'RE HANGING OUT WITH.
WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS IN THE LOW-RIDER ?
GO HOME. HUH.
WHAT TIME DO YOU WANT ME TO PICK YOU UP TOMORROW NIGHT ?
IT'S THE PROM, REMEMBER ?
YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS WHAT PEOPLE THINK.
IT'S REALLY PATHETIC.
HEY, WATCH IT.
MATT, I'M NOT GOING TO THE PROM WITH YOU.
I WANNA GO WITH SOMEBODY WHO'S REALLY COOL,
WHO'S NOT AFRAID OF BEING HIMSELF OR HAVING FUN.
GOOD NIGHT.
WHO'S COOLER THAN ME ?
YOUR PHONE CALL. YOU GOT ONE.
THANKS.
[ Phone Ringing ]
MATTHEW WILSON !
HELLO.
ROBYN ? ROBYN.
DAVE, DID YOU GUYS GET AWAY OKAY ?
WE'RE IN PRISON.
LOOK, THIS IS MY ONE PHONE CALL.
I'M USING IT TO ASK YOU TO GO TO THE PROM WITH ME.
JUST SAY YES, OKAY ?
[ Sighs ] NO.
WHY NOT ? I WANNA GO
WHAT ? WILL YOU ASK LINK
YOU WANT ME TO WHAT ?
LOOK, I'M SORRY. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
WE'LL ALL GO. WE'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME.
HOW ABOUT THAT ?
DAVE ?
[ Stoney Yelling ]
HEY !
¿¿ C?mo est? usted ? Muy bonita...
es la d?a.
HEY, WAIT. HOW WAS JAIL ?
DID YOU MEET ANYONE ?
HEY, WAIT ! WAIT UP.
THINGS JUST DIDN'T TURN OUT RIGHT.
I MEAN, I DON'T WANT 'EM CUTTIN' YOU UP
THIS IS JUST WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU.
IT'S BEST FOR ME TOO, ALL RIGHT ?
HERE.
FOR RAD MOBILE.
YEAH.
PUT 'EM IN YOUR POCKET.
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
THIS IS JUST THE WAY IT'S GOTTA BE.
GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE.
GO ON.
GO ON, LEAVE.
GO.
I'M SORRY.
[ Stoney ] HEY, HEY, HEY !
TALK TO ME, DAVID. LET ME KNOW WHAT'S
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' ? I'M LETTING HIM GO.
WHAT ? I CAN'T HANDLE HIM
HE'LL BE BETTER OFF WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
LISTEN TO ME. CALL HIM BACK.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I'M NOT KIDDIN'.
IT'S TIME. I'M SERIOUS.
CALL HIM BACK. THAT'S HARSH.
HE'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WEASED OFF HIS GIG THE WHOLE TIME...
'CAUSE YOU THOUGHT MAYBE HE'D GET YOU SOMEWHERE.
NOW THE GUY GETS A LITTLE CRUSTY AND YOU'RE GONNA BAG HIM.
IT'S NOT HAPPENIN', DAVE. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS
YOU DON'T BAG YOUR FRIENDS 'CAUSE THEY GET IN THE WAY,
LIKE YOU CARE ? THE ONLY THING YOU'VE CARED ABOUT IS NUGS,
I HAPPEN TO CARE RIGHT NOW.
YOU CAME ALONG FOR THE RIDE AND LET ME
'CAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT MIGHT WORK TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.
THOSE ARE DESPERATE WORDS OF A LOSER.
MAYBE MATT WILSON WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU ALL ALONG.
NO, YOU TAKE IT BACK. TAKE IT BACK !
YOU'RE A LOSER.
- [ Link ] FAMILY ! - ALL RIGHT.
I'M SORRY. FAMILY.
YOU CAN LET GO, LINK.
I'M SORRY, MAN. IT'S OKAY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME.
I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT, STONEY.
I'M SORRY, BUD.
OW !
YOU LOOK GREAT.
HAVE A GOOD TIME. YOU DESERVE IT.
[ Doorbell ] [ Sniffing ]
IF YOU TOUCH HER ? UGH.
YOU THINK THEY'RE READY ?
DAVE ?
DAVE, HEY.
HEY.
YOU'RE NOT READY.
I, I CAN'T GO.
OF COURSE YOU CAN. JUST GO UPSTAIRS,
NO, REALLY, I CAN'T. I'M ON PROBATION.
I'M GROUNDED.
HI, LINK. YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU GUYS GO. HAVE A GOOD TIME.
NO, NO, NO. COME ON.
GO. ARE YOU SURE ?
GO, HAVE A GOOD TIME. GO, LINK.
GET OUTTA HERE. HAVE A GOOD TIME.
DRIVE SAFELY.
GOD, SHE SMELLS GOOD.
[ Dave ] TO LINK.
MAY HE HAVE A COOL TIME AT THE PROM.
TOTALLY, BRO, TO LINKAGE.
[ Sighs ] THERE'S ALWAYS COLLEGE.
JUNIOR COLLEGE.
[ Matt ] LINK, GET DOWN HERE.
GIVE ME A BOOST.
[ Grunting ]
WHOA.
[ Laughing ]
GOTCHA.
[ Crashing Sounds ]
[ Sister ] DAVE !
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
GIVE ME BACK THOSE PICTURES.
NO !
HEY, GET BACK HERE ! THEY TOOK THE POLAROIDS.
COME ON. THOSE ARE
[ Rumbling ]
[ Dog Barking ]
[ Applause, Cheering ]
IT'S UNANIMOUS. THE VOTE FOR PROM KING...
GOES TO... WAIT !
WHAT'S GOING ON ? WAIT !
UGH.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO ?
THIS IS OUR SCHOOL, RIGHT ?
YEAH. YEAH.
WE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW IF SOMETHIN' BOGUS IS GOIN' DOWN...
IN OUR SCHOOL, RIGHT ?
YEAH. RIGHT.
THIS HOMEY RIGHT HERE HAS TAKEN YOU FOR A RIDE.
HIS NAME ISN'T LINKAVITCH CHOMOFSKY,
MATT, WILL YOU JUST STOP THIS ALREADY ?
SHUSH ! TRUST ME.
THEY'VE ALL BEEN LYING TO US.
BUT I FOUND OUT.
I KNOW THE TRUTH.
DO YOU WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH ?
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE REALLY IS ?
YEAH. YEAH.
[ Girl ] TELL US THE SECRET !
HE'S A CAVEMAN.
[ Cheering ]
NO. NO !
LOOK, HE'S A FREAK !
[ Applause, Cheering ]
- I GOT PICTURES ! - NO !
SEE ? LET ME SEE
GIVE ME BACK THOSE PICTURES. GIVE ME THOSE !
- [ Matt ] NO ! - [ Robyn ] DAVE !
HMMMM.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', FAG ?
[ Cheering ]
[ Stoney ] GO, GO, GO !
WATCH, WATCH, WATCH.
[ Link Yelling ]
UH-HUH.
SHUSH !
???? [ "Feed The Monkey" by Michael Muir ]
????
?? OW ??
????
?? SHE LIKES TO FEED THE MONKEY SHE LIKES TO FEED THE MONKEY ??
?? SHE LIKES TO FEED THE MONKEY SHE LIKES TO FUNKY ??
?? SO GATHER 'ROUND AND LET ME TELL YA ALL A STORY ??
?? ABOUT A BOY AND HIS MONKEY ??
?? HE'S GOT THAT KIND OF MONKEY THAT THE GIRLS WANNA KNOW ??
?? HE LIKES TO TAKE HIS MONKEY EVERY PLACE THAT HE GOES ??
????
OW-O-O-O !
?? HEY, HO JUST SAY THE MONKEY ??
WATCH THIS. OKAY.
?? I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW HOW YOU GET SO HUNGRY ??
?? I'D LIKE TO KNOW WOULD YOU BE MY MONKEY ??
?? MONKEY LIKES TO DO THE WILD THING ??
?? MY MONKEY DON'T SCRATCH MY MONKEY DON'T BITE ??
?? MY MONKEY DON'T SWING IN NO TREE ??
?? MY MONKEY DON'T TRICK MY MONKEY DON'T FOOL ??
?? MY MONKEY BE SWINGIN' WITH ME ??
?? MY MONKEY DON'T FREAK MY MONKEY DON'T HIT ??
?? MY MONKEY DON'T WEAR NO CAPE ??
?? YOU CAN TELL WHEN MY MONKEY WANTS TO EAT ??
?? 'CAUSE HE TURNS INTO A BIG OL' APE ??
????
[ Making Monkey Sounds ]
????
[ Horns Honking ]
????
WHAT YOU DID WAS PRETTY COOL.
WHO CARES ABOUT COOL ANYWAY, RIGHT ?
THERE'S ONE REALLY COOL THING I WANTED TO SHOW YOU.
WHAT ?
THIS.
[ Cheering, Laughing ]
OH, DAVE ! HEY, BUDDY.
[ Alarm Ringing ]
[ Yelling ]
[ Stoney ] IT'S YOUR CAVE NUG.
UGH.
[ Screaming ]
- AH-HA-HA-HA-HA ! - OW-O-O-O-O !
[ Link, Stoney ] YEAH !
OH YEAH !
YEAH, BUDDY. SHE IS SO GREASY !
DUH-H-H-Y ! AH ! HEY.
BUDDY, OW-O-O-O !
YEAH !
I'LL BE BA-ACK !
?? WOW ??
????
?? OH YEAH, STONERS ??
?? WHAT'S UP, BRO OW-O-O-O ??
?? BUDDY, FIESTA ??
????
?? DO YOU NEED A WOMAN GOT THE LOOK IN HER EYES ??
?? WANNA CUT ME DOWN TO SIZE SHOW ME WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO ?
?? IT'S TRUE ??
?? WHO'S THAT GORILLA STANDING BY YOUR SIDE ??
?? OH NO THAT MUST BE YOUR BRIDE ??
?? YOU WOULDN'T BE WITH SUCH A FOOL ??
?? OR YOUR MAMA TOO ??
?? THERE'S SOMETHIN' OVER HERE I WANT YOU TO SEE ??
?? THERE'S A PARTY BUT IT ISN'T FOR THREE ??
?? GET ALL THIS STRAIGHT BETWEEN YOU AND ME BECAUSE ??
?? OH NO YOU'RE INVITED BUT
?? WHOA NO NO COME ON, BABY
?? WOW ??
????
?? HEARTBREAKER, YEAH YOU CAME FOR THE SHOW ??
?? BUT LITTLE DID YOU KNOW YOU'D END UP IN THE SPOTLIGHT ?
?? WELL ALL RIGHT ??
?? COME ON, BABE, WON'T YOU SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT ??
?? READY OR NOT I WANT TO ??
?? HERE WE GO ??
?? OH NO ??
?? I'M MAKIN' PLANS FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT ??
?? SO TELL YOUR FATHER THAT HE BETTER NOT BITE ??
?? MY JAWS ARE BIGGER AND I'M READY TO FIGHT ??
?? SO COME ON, COME ON, COME ON GIVE IT UP TONIGHT ??
?? WHOA NO YOU'RE INVITED BUT
?? WHOA, NO NO COME ON, BABY
?? WHOA NO YOU'RE INVITED BUT
?? WHOA, NO NO COME ON, BABY
?? WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN ??
?? WOW, HAVE SOME FUN, BABY ??
?? OH BUT YOU CAN'T COME ??
HA-HA-HA-HA.
?? WOW ????