[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]
Open the door, you stupid motherfucker. Open the fucking door!
-I had the fucking keys, Stan. STAN: This is faster.
I need it.
Relax, you'll get it.
I need it so bad.
Get the fucking door, Johnny!
Come on.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Honey, don't you dare go down there.
Yes, it's Osman's Drug at 7th and Burdoch.
[GROANING]
STAN: What the fuck! I thought you knew where the good stuff was!
He always keeps it right in here!
JOHNNY: Shit.
-I'm gonna count to three. -Or?
Or my wife will be mopping up your blood tomorrow morning.
STAN: Oh, yeah, pops?
You'd shoot your little boy? With that big gun...
...you'd shoot and kill little Johnny D?
John--? Johnny?
You ain't gonna shoot your little boy, are you? Huh?
-You shut up! STAN: You shut the fuck up, pops!
And help Johnny D find the good shit!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
-Cops! JOHNNY: No, no, don't!
[GRUNTS]
No, don't!
I live here!
STAN: Motherfucker! You wanna fuck around?
Lights out!
[STAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[SIREN WAILING]
[STAN YELLING]
Come on, you motherfucker!
You wanna play with me? Let's go!
[GRUNTS]
[YELLING]
[OFFICER PANTING]
[MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY ON HEADPHONES]
[GROANS SOFTLY]
[OFFICER GRUNTS]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES]
-Did you find any? -What?
[GUN COCKS]
GUARD: Let's go.
Let's go. Come on.
Sit down.
Sit down, you ugly bitch.
-Put her in the chair. -Aah!
[GRUNTING]
DETECTIVE: You're not only ugly, you're stupid too.
Get smart with me and I'll rip your face off.
Now, then...
...what's your name?
MAGGIE: Maggie. DETECTIVE: Full name.
Blowjob.
Maggie Blowjob.
[GRUNTS]
DETECTIVE: Go ahead. Grin away.
We'll put you on death row, you'll lose that grin real quick.
Here. Sign that.
I don't have any more time for your bullshit.
Can I have a pencil?
[SCREAMING]
[MAGGIE GRUNTING]
JUDGE: Having been found guilty of the crime of murder...
...it is the judgment of this court that you be sentenced to die by lethal injection.
You are hereby remanded to the federal prison in Pleasanton...
...where you shall remain until your sentence is carried out.
And may God have mercy on your soul.
[GAVEL BANGS]
[GRUNTS]
MAGGIE: Motherfuckers!
[CHAIR THUDS]
[MAGGIE GRUNTING]
[MAGGIE YELLING]
No!
[MAGGIE GRUNTING]
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
MAGGIE: No! No!
Please wait for my mom!
[GRUNTS]
Wait, what are you doing? What are you doing?
What are you doing? Wait till my mommy comes. She'll come for me.
[SOBBING]
Wait for her.
[SOBBING]
You've got to tell my mom! My mom will come and get me!
Mommy!
[GASPING]
[BELL TOLLING]
[LOCK CLICKS]
[DOOR BEEPS]
[PHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE]
[LOCK CLICKS]
Hi.
I'm Bob.
Is that Maggie short for, uh-- For Margaret?
Mister, what is this place?
Where am I?
You're dead. At least that's what everybody thinks.
Your funeral.
We staged it Saturday afternoon.
You're buried here. Oakmont Cemetery.
Plot 48, row 12.
-There's, uh-- There's your father. -Didn't my mother come?
No, your mother, she, uh....
You know you can't get out, Maggie.
[SOBBING]
I work for some people.
The government, let's call them.
We've decided to give you another chance.
Is that about me?
Yes, it is.
You know a lot about me.
We do.
So...
...you're gonna give me this chance?
What do I gotta do?
Learn, Maggie.
Learn to speak properly, learn to stand up straight, for a start.
Learn languages, computers, and so on.
Do something to help your country, for a change.
What if I'm not interested?
Row 48...
...plot 12.
[DOOR BEEPS, THEN LOCK CLICKS]
-Can I think about it? -Yeah, why don't you think about it, Maggie?
You've got one hour.
[DOOR CLOSES, THEN LOCK CLICKS]
[DOOR BEEPS, THEN LOCK CLICKS]
[GRUNTS]
-Stupid fucking asshole! -Aah!
[BOB GROANS]
Come on, up. Up! Up!
Which way is out?
Uh, this way.
-Who are these assholes? -Just people who work here. It's okay.
There's no pr-- Put it down. There's no problem. Just go back to your desks.
Bullshit. Everything's fucked!
BOB: Now, come on. You know you can't get away with this.
Put it away. Put it away. Go back to your work.
[ALARM BEEPING]
Everything's under control.
-Open it. -I can't.
MAGGIE: Open the fucking door. BOB: I said I can't, Maggie.
-Tell them to do it. -They won't.
I'll blow his fucking brains out!
They still won't do it, Maggie.
Just give me the gun, Maggie. Good girl.
Just put it down.
Come on, Maggie. You're too smart to fight these odds.
It's okay. It's okay. Put it down.
[GUN CLICKS]
BOB: Rule number one:
Never chamber the first round.
[GUN COCKS]
[MAGGIE GROANS]
That ought to slow you down for a while...
...Maggie for Margaret.
[SOBBING]
INSTRUCTOR: Team ready?
[MEN GRUNTING]
INSTRUCTOR: One, two, three.
[MEN GRUNTING]
[DOOR BEEPS, THEN LOCK CLICKS]
[LOCK CLICKS]
So?
What's it to be, yes or no?
What if I said that I have a couple of questions and that I need some more time?
If I said there is no more time?
What if I said you can kiss my ass right in the crack?
What's it gonna be, Maggie, yes or no?
Uh, I'm gonna have a few things that I'm gonna need.
Yeah, I'm gonna need some stuff.
I need some music.
Some good music.
I'm gonna want some Nina Simone.
Nina Simone.
Yeah, and....
And I'm gonna want some more painkillers.
My leg is fucking killing me.
Is that it?
I'll make a list.
You do that, Maggie.
Bet your fucking ass.
[DOOR BEEPS, THEN LOCK CLICKS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SIGHS]
MAN: Well, we're gonna start with a simple program first.
This is just like a typewriter keyboard. You got letters here...
...numbers here, right? Return, okay?
Tab-- Hold-- Wait, wait, wait.
This is a mouse, okay?
You use this to write with, draw, save, things like that.
See that roller? Roll that around and watch the screen.
Good, good, good. Okay, okay. See the arrow?
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Real easy, okay?
Real easy. Like that, okay. Now, move that arrow right down to where it says, "Play."
Okay, now right here, click once.
Pay attention, Maggie.
[ROARS]
[BOTH LAUGH]
-Can we make the dinosaur eat him? -You want to make the dinosaur eat him?
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Very good, very good. Feel a little bit more relaxed.
-You. -Hmm?
I can't. My leg hurts.
That's okay. We're just working on reflexes. It'll be easy. Come on.
[GRUNTS]
I've taken my guard. See if you can hit my face.
[MAGGIE GRUNTING]
INSTRUCTOR: Hit me. Come on, hit me.
Come on, hit me. Hit me. Come on.
Ah.
[ALL GASP AND LAUGH]
[CLOCK CHIMING]
[MAGGIE COUGHS]
Always smile when you enter a room, dear.
It relaxes others, and it lifts the features of the face.
Do you know what "Nature's first green is gold" means?
"Nature's first green is gold."
It means that the first is best...
...that youth is better than old age.
You have the gift of youth. That is what we'll build on.
[SPITS GUM]
It's charming, my dear, but it doesn't address my point.
Put the gum here.
That's better.
Sit down.
Are you an ugly duckling...
...or a swan?
Because the choice is yours, you know.
Belief is half of being.
It's a fancy way of saying, if you believe you're pretty...
...then you will be pretty.
You'll see.
What do you do when you're most uncomfortable?
When you're angry or scared?
I hit.
You might want to try smiling.
Just smile a little smile and...
...say something offhand. It doesn't have to fit the situation, really.
Say....
Say, "I never did mind about the little things."
Say it.
[GRUNTS]
Please, dear.
A smile, and the sentence.
"I never did mind...."
I never did mind...
...about the little things.
AMANDA: Chin up. Shoulders back.
Yes. Have some pride in yourself.
Show me.
Yes, Maggie. Better. Good.
MAGGIE: "I lie down for a nap today.
Yesterday I lay down for a nap.
If something unfortunate happens, I feel bad--"
Louder, please.
"I feel bad about it, not badly. Bad is an adjective.
Remember to say, 'It is a secret between her and me.' Not, 'she and I."'
AMANDA: Good.
[NINA SIMONE'S "I WANT A LITTLE SUGAR IN MY BOWL" PLAYING LOUDLY]
[ALL CHATTERING]
Well, anyway, check back.
[NINA SIMONE'S "I WANT A LITTLE SUGAR IN MY BOWL" PLAYING ON STEREO]
All right, turn it down, will you? Please, turn it down.
[LOWERS VOLUME]
People are beginning to complain. Why don't you use the headset I got you?
Because they're crappy.
Ahem. You know, you, uh....
This is, uh, Nina Simone.
Mm-hm.
You got it for me, remember?
-She wants sugar in her bowl? -Ha, ha.
No, she's saying:
"Ooh, baby, just stick it in me twice a day, and I'll do anything for you.
I'll lick the ground you walk on."
[MAGGIE CHUCKLES]
Why do you talk so dirty, Maggie?
Why do you talk so faggy, Bob?
[LAUGHS]
So how is it, uh-- How is it going?
[SIGHS]
Oh, man, I'm so majorly bored.
Think I'm going crazy. Started talking to myself and all kinds of stuff.
-Well, your reports are excellent. -All right.
So, what, do I get a reward or something? It's my birthday next week.
Why don't you let me go outside?
Just for one night?
You can have me followed.
-Please. -I can't. Okay?
Look, Maggie...
...I know how you feel.
-Bullshit. -Yes, I do.
I used to be a recruit myself.
I used to be where you are now.
And, just like you, I hated every moment of it.
So you understand.
I'm going stir-crazy. Please. Just let me go out for a walk.
I said I can't.
That's it. Okay?
I want to go for a walk!
Door number five?
Take out the bad guys. Do not shoot the good guys.
You got two seconds for each target.
You understand?
Ready, set and go.
[BELL RINGS]
What was that?
MAGGIE: Fun. -Yeah, right.
What is it with you?
Eating should be graceful, yet natural.
If you get a bone in your mouth, take it out with your fingers...
...and put it on the edge of your plate. No fake middle-class delicacy.
No hiding the bone behind a napkin.
Today we'll start with the entr¨Ĥe. All right?
Let's begin.
Bone.
May I be excused?
[SCOFFS]
You've done better, Bobby.
I know she's a pain, but I can bring her around. I think she's got great potential.
I like her potential too. Got some mighty nice potential.
-So bottom line me about this girl. -So?
We need a young female operative. I think she's the one.
Now, under normal circumstances it takes two years. In this case--
Six months.
That's right. And I don't want to see any more attitude from her.
Enough with this crap. She bites, she kicks, she throws food. What is that?
So you got it?
I give you six months. And I want immediate improvement or she gets a bullet in the brain.
[L7'S "EVERGLADE" PLAYING]
[CLEARS THROAT]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Ask me why I'm so serious.
Why are you so serious?
Because I've got serious stuff to tell you, Maggie for Margaret.
First, the good stuff.
Happy birthday.
Okay, now the bad stuff.
Kaufman has drawn a line in the sand.
He says he's not gonna take any more crap from you.
He mentioned the word "bullet" and he mentioned the word "brain."
You hearing me? Is this going in, Maggie?
Because I want you to know, it's now out of my hands.
Ahem. Happy birthday.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[ALL CHATTERING]
Will you help me?
Of course. Come upstairs.
All you need is balance. We have to find your feminine strength.
Some moon to go with your sun.
A bit of the poet to balance the warrior.
AMANDA: Don't you want to carry your jacket?
Oh, surely not just for a dinner lesson.
What's worth doing....
BOTH: Is worth doing well. -Yes, I think you've mentioned that before.
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
Very good.
Wow.
You look....
You look beautiful.
You've really, uh-- Really outdone yourself this time.
Yes, about this one, I am pleased.
Then why do I have to have another dinner lesson after six months?
Or are you afraid that I'll revert and start putting my feet back up on the table again?
I think that, uh...
...tonight we should have dinner out.
Really?
Oh, thank you.
Shall we go?
Good evening. Would you like to see the wine list, sir?
Uh, no, thanks. Just a bottle of Dom Perignon, please.
Very good, sir.
Thank you, Bob.
Don't-- Don't open it yet.
Uh, yeah, that's fine.
WAITER: Have a good evening.
Maggie, more than you can possibly imagine...
...I wish you every good thing.
[CHUCKLES]
It's loaded.
I don't understand.
There are three people sitting behind you on the balcony. A lady and two men.
The man on the right is a VIP.
The other one's his bodyguard.
I want you to put two bullets in the VIP. Two bullets minimum.
Then go to the men's room.
In the last stall there's a small window that leads to a courtyard.
There will be a car waiting for you.
Don't, uh-- Don't do anything till I leave.
You've got three minutes, okay?
[GUN COCKS]
[CROWD SCREAMING]
[GRUNTS]
[MAGGIE PANTING]
[SCREAMS]
[GROANS]
[GASPS]
[GRUNTS]
It was bricked in, Bob.
The window was all bricked in.
Yes, of course it was, Maggie.
That was your final test.
[BOTH GRUNT]
-Motherfucker! -Unh!
[BOB GRUNTING]
Motherfucker!
-Stop it. Stop it. -Son of a bitch!
You get out tomorrow.
[BOTH GRUNT]
You get out tomorrow.
It was your last test. You get out tomorrow.
[MAGGIE PANTING]
I'm really gonna miss you.
You know that.
I'll never kiss you again.
KAUFMAN: What level of operation is she ready for?
S-1.
Ambitious as ever, huh?
Don't sit down.
I need her ready by March.
You're gonna love this. A woman goes into a bar with a duck under her arm.
Orders a couple beers. Bartender says, "What're you doing with that pig?"
She says, "I beg your pardon. This is a duck." He said, "I was talking to the duck."
I was talking to the duck.
I think you're dangerous.
A real loose cannon. If it had been up to me we'd put you down, so make no mistakes.
Because I'm telling you, if you cross on a red light, you are worm bait.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Bye.
I was talking to the duck.
Your name is Claudia Doran. You're from Chicago. You live in Venice, California.
You're a computer expert for Super Mac. You travel a lot.
Here's your passport, driver's license, birth certificate.
Now, there's cash in here to buy yourself a new car.
Your code name is Nina.
MAGGIE: As in Nina Simone?
Yeah.
-I'm scared. -You?
That'll be the day.
Go on.
[TOUR GUIDE TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[CHAINSAW BUZZING]
[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY NEARBY]
[SINGING BLUES ROCK MUSIC]
J.P.: I warned you.
It's just....
It needs a lot of work.
That's not a urine stain.
It's fully, uh....
Actually, there's another one that's closer to being done.
I'll take it.
All right.
Here's your, uh...
-...ravioli. -Oh. Thanks.
And your ravioli.
And your...
...oh, my goodness, it's ravioli.
Thanks.
Cammie Swiss Cake Rolls. Now, that sounds nutritious.
Sorry. I suppose it's kind of embarrassing to have some fool pawing through your food.
Don't worry about it. I don't get embarrassed.
What do you mean?
Just nothing embarrasses me.
You mean, ever?
Oh.
That's great. You'll have to teach me that trick sometime.
Where're you from?
-It's not a trick question. -Chicago.
Hey, I'm from Denver.
So I know you're from Chicago, and you love ravioli.
See, that's a start.
So how does someone get to know you better?
-Well, for you, it'd be easy. -Good, then have dinner with me tonight.
Uh, ha, ha.
Oh, okay.
Let me guess:
Ravioli?
Ha, ha. It's a deal.
J.P.: So all I have to do is show any apartment that's vacant...
...change light bulbs, sweep the stairs once a week...
...pick up rent checks once a month. For that...
...half off my own rent.
Mostly what I do, though, is I work on my portfolio.
I'm a photographer.
I take some good stuff sometimes.
I've sold to some galleries. Weston and Levinson's, you know?
All day, though, all I do is just run around...
...and just take care of stuff.
You really like ravioli, huh?
Hmm.
I usually make the first move.
This is fine too.
[J.P. LAUGHING]
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
J.P.: Ow!
Aah! Ha, ha! Ah!
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
J.P.: God, this is hard.
MAGGIE: Shut up and finish it.
J.P.: It is. It's hard as hell. -Shut up and finish it.
-Let's go out tonight and get a hamburger-- -Shut up and finish it.
I'll call Ned and Karen and see if they want to come, okay?
Sure.
Heh. Yeah, sure. You don't really like them much, do you?
They're okay.
Well, why don't you ask somebody sometime?
-Like who? -I don't know.
A friend. One of your buddies. Somebody you like to hang around with.
You haven't had one person to this apartment in months.
-You know that? -I know.
Not one.
Because I want only you.
-You're so guarded. -I'm not guarded.
-Yes, you are. -No, I'm not.
You're like living with a ghost, you know.
You never tell me anything.
All right. So then...
...what do you want to know?
I don't know. I wanna know what your fifth grade teacher was like.
I wanna know if this pretty face had pimples on it in high school.
I wanna meet your friends from work.
I wanna know why you listen to Nina Simone when you're in a bad mood.
Forget it.
My mother loved Nina Simone.
She used to play her records all the time.
I grew up listening to this music.
It...
...sounded so...
...passionate...
...so savage.
All about love and loss.
I play Nina Simone when I think about my mother.
[PHONE RINGING]
-Hello? MAN: Nina?
-Yeah? -J.W. Marriott in Century City.
Personnel entrance. In one hour.
All right.
Bye.
Who's that?
I'm about to lose a sale on 500 video cards.
-Mm. No. -And I gotta go all the way to El Segundo.
Oh.
Okay.
Hurry back.
I will.
Excuse me.
What do I do?
Change.
Now what?
Now we wait.
Testing, one, two, three.
MAN [ON RADIO]: Testing, one, two, three.
[SIGHS]
[PHONE RINGS]
Good morning. Room service. Mm-hm.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
MAN: Certainly. About 15 minutes. Yes, sir, thank you for calling.
[PRINTER WHIRRING]
[DEVICE BEEPS]
-What do I do? -Take this tray where I tell you.
-And then? -And then nothing.
You take the tray up, knock on the door...
...you give him the tray and you come back down here.
That too much for you?
[MEN CHATTERING]
Hi.
[TV PLAYING FOOTBALL GAME INDISTINCTLY]
[MEN LAUGHING]
MAN: All right.
[ALL CHATTERING]
-Thanks. TV ANNOUNCER: Down with the ball...
...back at his own 44.
I guess there's a reason they call him Roughhouse Durant....
Now what do I do?
-Go home. -That's it?
[TIRES SCREECH]
So?
How are you?
Just blew up a hotel. How the hell do you think I am?
Well, everybody at headquarters, especially Kaufman, is very happy.
I just thought you'd like to know that.
Fabulous.
So, uh, I hear you've met somebody.
What's he like?
He's really great. He's really great.
I never would have met him if it hadn't been for you.
-I have to meet him. -What?
Yeah. It's, uh, just a routine checkup.
-I can't. -Just invite me to dinner, okay?
No. No.
Just invite me to dinner.
Uncle Bob.
You must be J.P.
Oh, you shouldn't.
Hey, you should've.
Come on.
I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to meet you, Uncle Bob.
I haven't met any of her family.
-Claudia. -Claudia.
Wow.
-Long time no see. -Uncle Bob.
Mm. You look, uh....
You look great. Really great.
Thanks.
-Can we get you--? -Something to drink?
Uh....
Scotch. Scotch would be nice.
Oh, here. These are from Uncle Bob.
-Oh, great. BOB: She looks really beautiful.
-Must be something to do with you. -It is.
You know, you're older than I thought.
I bet you're not the youngest photographer honking his photos in town.
J.P.: That's true. That's true.
But most other guys are just out of high school. They have no experience.
Well, he may not be the youngest, but he's certainly the cutest.
So....
How old are you, Uncle Bob?
I'm, um, 37.
-So that makes you, uh.... -Thirteen years older.
It was really funny. The other day I was reading something, it was really--
It's actually closer to 14. Her birthday's in three months.
What exactly is the point, P.J.?
-J.P. MAGGIE: You guys.
Wait a minute.
Take it easy. Why don't you just arm-wrestle right now and get it over with?
[BOB CHUCKLES]
J.P.: What was she like when she was little?
I mean, I ask her all the time. She never talks about herself. No details, nothing.
-Well, let me see.... MAGGIE: What?
BOB: He just wanted to know what you were like when you were a little girl.
J.P., you promised.
[J.P. CHUCKLES]
-She hates questions. -Do I ask you questions?
J.P.: No, I wish you would, though.
-Can't we just drop it? J.P.: Why don't we not this time.
Look, damn it! Don't you fucking get it? I don't want to talk about it!
I didn't drag my ass all the way from the gutter in Kansas City to take shit from you!
[J.P. SIGHS]
I thought you were from Chicago.
Uh, Kansas City.
She was born in Kansas City but, uh, raised in Chicago.
I used to see her during the summers on this farm that my uncle owned.
You didn't know she spent summers on a farm, did you?
Well, she did.
I remember-- I remember one summer...
...the, uh, local kids-- Thanks.
--the kids' family owned this, uh, mare.
She was...
...black as a raven's wing, completely wild. Remember? They called her Beauty.
She was, uh, trained as a trotter, but she had never really been ridden.
Anyway, the kids told Claudia that she had to ride Beauty...
...that it was like an initiation, the kind of thing that they all had to do.
Anyway, one day, I remember...
...about noon...
...it was really, really hot.
We heard this scream.
We ran outside, and--
And there was Claudia.
Claudia...
...bareback on this wild horse.
Well, the horse went completely crazy. Bucked, reared.
She hung on.
She just gritted her teeth, dug her heels in...
...and she hung on.
And, by God, she rode that horse.
I guess that's how I remember her, really.
This slip of a girl on a wild black horse.
She was so beautiful.
She was so beautiful that she gleamed.
Do you know what I mean?
That's really you, then.
That's what I thought you'd be like.
By the way...
...did, uh, Claudia tell you what I do?
J.P.: No.
I'm in the travel business.
Well, I'm a partner in a travel agency...
...and I've got these two tickets here, if, uh, you'd like to take them.
They're for New Orleans for the Mardi Gras.
J.P.: Ha. -Thought you might like to go.
You're so sweet.
I'll enjoy thinking of both of you there.
I will.
[CROWD CHEERING]
[ALL CHEERING AND SHOUTING]
[ALL SHOUTING]
J.P.: Coming through!
-I'm hungry! -We gotta get out of here!
MAGGIE: This is crazy!
We gotta go!
Yeah!
Whoa!
MAGGIE: Hey.
Let's go to the hotel.
Wait. Let's try here.
Try here.
Yeah. Down here.
MAGGIE: Can't we just eat here?
J.P.: The food is crappy. I know that place is close by here.
MAGGIE: You better be right.
[FIRECRACKERS BANGING]
J.P.: Well, it might be that, uh....
It's, uh....
Oh, yeah. I saw it over here.
[MAGGIE LAUGHING]
[FIRECRACKERS BANGING]
[SPEAKING IN CREOLE]
What do you want?
[SPEAKING IN CREOLE]
We want your money.
Maybe y'all could help us out with a little something to eat, huh?
Me and my friend, we real hungry now.
Real good. We want all your money.
J.P.: Go to hell. THUG: Hey....
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Come on.
J.P.: So wild. What the hell was that? -I don't know.
You beat the hell out of them. You didn't even give me a chance.
It was just a reflex.
You've got some reflexes. Where'd you learn to do that?
MAGGIE: Well, I, uh....
I-- I took-- Ha, ha. I just-- I don't know.
I guess I took a self-defense class once when I was just a girl.
[MAGGIE LAUGHS]
I'm so hungry.
[MAGGIE LAUGHS]
I gotta have food.
-What is it? It's 5, right? -Mm-hm.
[LAUGHS]
WOMAN: Room service. May I help you? -Hello?
Hi, uh-- Ha-ha-ha! Oh!
-This is Room 30. -Uh-huh?
Yeah. Um, uh....
-I'd like to order some food, please. -All right. Go ahead.
Could I-- Could I have, um, uh, a couple of chicken salads...
...and a couple of pieces of pecan pie...
...and, um, also what kind of soda do you have?
-We have light-- -Oh.
Okay. All right, well, then, I guess I'll have the, um....
[LAUGHS]
I'll take Pepsi.
Could I have four bottles of that or cans or whatever because we get thirsty after sex.
[LAUGHS]
-Okay. -Okay.
MAGGIE: Kiss my neck.
J.P.: Okay.
Kiss it harder.
[PHONE RINGING]
[MAGGIE GROANS]
[MAGGIE LAUGHS]
-Yes? AGENT: Nina?
Yes?
The bathroom cabinet has a hidden compartment.
All-- All right.
Then make it two pieces of chocolate rum cake.
They're all out of pecan pie.
Okay, we're out of this joint.
Uh, I gotta take a bath. I feel really dirty.
Just if you could just wait for room service, please.
[WATER RUNNING]
Nina in position.
AGENT [ON RADIO]: First item's under the sink.
[WATER RUNNING]
-Assembly completed. -Open the window.
-There's no handle. -Open the window.
-Claudia? -Yeah?
J.P.: You know what I've been thinking?
What?
J.P.: I've got a really good idea.
MAGGIE: What?
Just thinking we could make Bob's present an engagement present.
Save the poor slob some money.
Okay.
What do you say, you wanna do it? Make it formal?
Honey?
AGENT: The limousine.
Take aim on the limousine.
We're waiting for further instructions.
I asked you a question. Don't you think I deserve an answer?
In a minute.
[CHUCKLES]
Just how I always imagined it. Proposing through a door.
Claudia?
[SOBBING]
Christ, what is it with you?
Can you say something.
Say, "Go to hell, J.P." Tell me you love me...
...or "get lost" or whatever. Just answer me, okay?
[SOBBING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
MAN [OUTSIDE]: Room service.
-How many targets? AGENT: One.
-What's he look like? -I haven't been informed yet.
-How y'all enjoying beautiful Mardi Gras? -Real well. Thanks.
AGENT: Target visible in five seconds.
-Thanks. Sure. -Y'all come back and see us, you hear?
Which one is it?
AGENT: I don't have that data yet.
So you got nothing to say to me, huh?
Which target, damn it?
AGENT: The woman.
The woman in white.
J.P.: Claudia.
AGENT: The woman in white, I said.
Claudia.
[BANGING ON DOOR]
AGENT: The fucking woman!
[SILENCED GUNSHOTS]
What gives with you?
What the hell's going on?
What's this?
So you got nothing to say to me?
A while ago, I did something really bad.
And I came through it, but I'm always gonna be paying for it.
Okay, it's okay.
It's in the past. You can just let it go.
I can't.
But you've got to believe me.
If I'm secretive...
...I've got my reasons.
For now, I'll take that.
But for now.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SOBBING]
INSTRUCTOR: Students, this is a defensive tactic. Watch me.
Kick. Punch.
So how was New Orleans?
Everything you touch turns to shit.
Why would you send me on a job with J.P.? What happens to him if he finds out?
Listen, Maggie, I know it wasn't an easy job.
You're so pathetic. Listen to you.
You stand there with that little smile. Drop the fucking mask for once.
-Listen, Maggie. -Fuck you! That was my last job.
You stupid, ignorant little girl.
Do you think you can decide you don't want to play anymore?
I mean, where the fuck do you think you are?
Christ, haven't you heard anything that I've said?
-I mean it. -You don't know.
-I'm through! I'm out! -Which word do you not understand?
There is no out. There is no through. There is no out!
Bob, you gotta help me.
I can't do this. I can't live like this anymore.
Don't you like me well enough to help me?
Like you?
[SCOFFS]
I know...
...you like that you made me into something different.
But you're not looking close enough.
I am different.
Help me be better.
Please, Bob, let me go.
You know who Fahd Bahktiar is?
He's one of the richest men in the world.
Right now he's peddling nuclear information to the Middle East.
I need a woman for this one, Maggie. It's the kind of job you were trained for.
I want you to do three things.
Number one: Impersonate his girlfriend so you can get into his house.
Two: Take the disk that he's been sending the data on, and then destroy his computer.
And number three:
I want you to take him out.
If I do this job, if I bring this off...
...will you do what you can to help me get out?
No.
AMANDA: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Would you take these, John? Thanks.
Maggie! What a pleasure!
How are you?
Does anybody ever get out?
Thank you, John. I'll do the rest.
Were you like me once? Would they let you leave if you wanted to?
Happiness in life comes from braiding together what one would like to have...
...with what is inevitable.
Stop that shit. Stop talking like that and answer me!
[TRAY THUNKS]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I don't want to be rude to you. You were the only one who was nice to me.
Just please, could you tell me?
Could you just leave if you wanted to?
Just get on a plane and disappear?
To tell the truth, dear...
...I don't know. It's a possibility that never entered my mind.
You won't tell Bob I came?
Thank you.
-Oh. You look tired. -Ha, ha. I am.
-You want a back rub? -Yeah.
-With the hypnotic fantasy oil? -Yeah.
All right.
-On the bed. -Oh.
-I'll be right back. -Good.
[GASPS]
Hello, Maggie.
These are copies of the photographs I gave you.
Amanda says that you, uh....
Ahem. That you dropped them.
I don't think I can do it.
If you pull this job off for me...
...I'll see what I can do to help you.
See the, uh, upstairs corner?
That's his bedroom. Right here. You arrive early. You do it here. Okay?
With the right wig, clothes, attitude, you can, uh...
...look sufficiently like the girlfriend to get into his house.
What happens to her? Does she die, too?
Absolutely not. No unnecessary wetworks.
Good.
BETH: Okay. Look at those earrings. Look at the bop in the walk. It's that thing.
MAGGIE: I have those glasses.
BETH: Yeah? Great. -I'll get that brand of cigarettes.
-Yeah. She's right-handed. MAGGIE: I'm right-handed.
BETH: Long cigarettes.
Is that mole real?
Not on me, it won't be.
Here we go again.
[ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"]
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING]
They don't go out!
[MOCKING TONE] It won't go out.
Oh. Baby.
It's heavy. It's heavy.
[BOTH IMITATING] It's heavy.
Get out of the way now.
-Get out of the way now. BETH: She wearing enough makeup?
Hello, my darling.
-There he is. -Yeah.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Oh, Frank, for Christ's sake, do us all a favor and put the camera away.
All right.
[STOPS TAPE]
-Let's go over it again. -Phew. Oh, God.
-Christ, we've only done it 20 times. -I know but...
...it's tomorrow night. This is our last chance.
Okay. We meet at 4:00 to go to Angela's.
Okay, maybe we should make it a quarter to.
-Okay, that'll give us more time. -Hi.
Hey, honey.
[TV SWITCHES OFF]
Uncle Bob? Uncle Bob, is it really you? How nice to see you.
No, it can't be Uncle Bob. It's got to be, uh...
...Aunt Pauline or, uh, Cousin Molly there or something, right?
Wait a minute. I got it.
This must be Cindy D'Amato. Used to work for Super Mac. Quit to get married.
Hi, Cindy. Sorry about this. How the hell are you?
[DOOR CLOSES]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
What in heaven's name have you got there?
WOMAN: You bought it for me, remember? When I moved into the studio.
-Give me that nonsensical object. Give it-- -You keep away from me.
MAN: Don't you try to intimidate me.
You're not going to tell Carol.
-Swear me you won't! -I'll swear nothing.
[GUNSHOT]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
-Hi. -Hi.
We're from Sherry's.
Where's Francine?
-Francine's sick today, so Sherry sent us. -They said Francine was coming.
Well, I guess they got it wrong because Francine's sick. I don't know.
Sherry sent us because Francine ate something bad or something.
She got sick.
Look, mister, I could really care less if I did another head of hair today.
So make up your mind.
All right. Come on.
Who are these people? Where's Francine?
Francine's sick, so we're here.
Great. Some new fucking blood. Can you do me out here?
-Sure. I can burn hair anywhere. MAID: Is this outfit all right, ma'am?
-The stain, is it gone? MAID: Yes.
Fine. Put it in my room with the red boots.
I want some fucking softness around my face.
Last time Francine did me, she slicked all my hair back...
...and made me look like some kind of fucking dyke.
Did you guys meet my friends?
This is "Stupid" and the other one is "Stupider."
[ANGELA & MAGGIE CHUCKLE]
-Would you like some ginseng tea? -No, I don't drink tea.
Francine says you'll love her ginseng tea. It's great for the sex drive.
Well, I've got no trouble in that department.
It's really very good.
Enough with the fucking tea, for Christ's sake.
Suit yourself.
-Do you have silk, please, for my fingers? -I sure do.
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
Hey! Hey!
[SILENCED GUNSHOTS]
[SCREAMS]
[SILENCED GUNSHOTS]
BETH: Oh, God, I'm dead. God! Aah.
-Let me see. -Oh, damn it, I'm hit.
MAGGIE: It's okay. -Unh. Ah.
MAGGIE: Here. Here. All right, hold still. Hold still. Just push it hard.
I'm calling Kaufman.
-I'm calling Kaufman. -I can finish it. No! I have to!
He said if anything goes wrong, we're supposed to call him.
[DIALING PHONE]
Okay, it's screwed up. There are two down and I'm hit.
How?
Okay, okay. Yes, okay.
Okay.
They're calling in a cleaner.
Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Uh, excuse me, but we've heard reports of shots. Have you heard anything?
[SILENCED GUNSHOTS]
I'm Victor. I'm the cleaner.
Uh, listen, the job's gone really bad, but I think I can finish it.
This part of the job's over.
I'm the cleaner.
Where's the material?
MAGGIE: Outside.
What the hell is that for?
Cleaning up your shit.
[BODY HISSING]
Jesus Christ, what're you doing?
[ANGELA COUGHING]
She's not dead.
Oh, God. Oh, God, okay.
Kaufman said no wetworks. He said no wetworks. I'm calling Kaufman now.
[SILENCED GUNSHOT]
I never did mind about the little things.
I'll go get ready for the next step.
-You look nice. -Thank you.
All right, have a nice evening.
[INTERCOM RINGING]
Hi, Angela. New driver?
[AS ANGELA] For Christ's sake, give me a break and open the stupid gate.
It went off the tracks, and I called in a cleaner.
What happened?
Two down. I was afraid we'd get splashed with shit. I told him to get it cleaned up.
-How clean? -Down to the nap.
The cleaner's going with your girl to Bahktiar's.
And after she finishes...
...he'll clean her too.
MAGGIE [AS ANGELA]: Of course it was me. I heard the bloody thing.
He's upstairs. You're early.
-So sue me, stupid. -You want a drink?
Salty Dog. Leave it down here. I must piss.
Hello, my da--
Go to your computer, bring up your nuclear program.
What do you think are you going to accomplish by this?
Do it!
Suck my dick.
[YELLS]
[BAHKTIAR GROANS]
Go to your computer.
[GROANS]
You think the Arabs should be the only people not to have this technology?
Is that what you think?
Hurry up.
-I cannot access the data. -Yeah, right.
-The system must be down. -Get around to the other side of the desk.
I can make you very rich, beyond anything you can imagine.
And if I say I will, I will. I'll do it, I promise.
What's the password?
Try to imagine what a bullet in the stomach feels like.
Peddler.
[TYPES KEYS]
MAN: Hey.
You can't park there. Move it around back with the other cars.
Hey! Are you deaf? Move the car!
[ENGINE STARTS]
[GRUNTS]
[YELLS]
[BEEPING]
On the ground.
Don't be a stupid bitch. I'm offering you anything. Anything you want.
Get on your knees, forehead to the ground, hands behind your back.
You think killing me will solve anything?
Do you think you can keep 800 million people in the 14th century forever?
Do you think there's not a thousand more to sell this technology...
...to anyone for a price, or do you not think?
Do you just kill for money?
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Hassan! Imshi! Imshi!
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Hey!
[ENGINE STARTS]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
That's it. That's it. I've had it.
[MAGGIE PANTING]
[CAR HORN HONKS]
[MAGGIE PANTING]
[RADIO PLAYING VIKKI CARR'S "CUANDO CALIENTA EL SOL"]
[BOTH GRUNT]
[HORN HONKS]
[VICTOR GRUNTS]
[MAGGIE GRUNTS]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[MAGGIE GRUNTS]
[GASPS]
[VICTOR GRUNTING]
[CAR CREAKING]
VICTOR: Arrgh! -Aah!
[CAR CREAKING]
[VICTOR GROANING]
[GASPING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[VICTOR YELLING]
[ALL CHATTERING]
MAN 1: All right, lieutenant, we're just gonna stand by here, we're not quite sure.
MAN 2: Be sure it's hooked up to it.
MAN 1: Wait till he gets down here.
Is there--? Is there a woman down there?
There could be 20 women down there, for all I know. The car's in a bad spot.
That's it.
MAGGIE: J.P.
You awake?
I know you are. I can tell by the way you're breathing.
Oh, I'm so tired.
J.P.: My God.
What happened to your face?
She's gone.
Oh, yeah?
Where?
I don't know.
She took off empty-handed.
She didn't take any of her clothes, she didn't even her purse.
So whoever it is you are...
...just leave her alone. Let her go.
-I can't. She's got information. -Yeah.
Why don't you get out?
[BOB SCOFFS]
J.P.: She left you a note.
Yeah?
I tore it up.
What did it say?
[SCOFFS]
Can I take this?
Yeah, sure.
You like Nina?
Yeah.
I love her.
We'll miss her.
Yeah.
We'll miss her.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[ENGINE STARTS]
Yeah.
We, uh....
We had a bad car wreck last night.
No, no. No, no.
I have all the information we need.
The cleaner's dead and, uh....
And the girl is, uh....
And...
...the girl is, uh....
The girl's dead too. Yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
Adapted by: SDI Media Group