SO, MO, WHAT'D Q SEND YOU FROM JAPAN?
I DON'T KNOW
- I BET YOU IT'S SOME JADE. - MM-HMM.
OH, NO, NO. MAYBE SOME CULTURED PEARLS.
OH, NO, NO. MAYBE IT'S SOME KEYS TO A TOYOTA, GIRL. OOH, NO.
NIECY, CAN I OPEN IT FIRST?
OH! OH, Q SENT YOU SOME ROCKS.
THEY'RE NOT JUST ROCKS, HAKEEM.
THAT'S RIGHT, HAKEEM. MO, WHAT ARE THEY?
Y'ALL LISTEN TO THIS...
"ACCORDING TO LEGEND,
THESE 2 ROCKS WERE PUT
INTO 2 DIFFERENT RIVERS BY A PRINCE
AND A PRINCESS.
BUT THEY WERE REUNITED BY THE POWERS OF LOVE.
"LIKE YOU AND ME, SHORTY."
OH, GIRL, WHEN DID Q GET SO SMOOTH?
YEAH, SMOOTH MUST BE JAPANESE FOR CHEAP.
♪ MO TO THE ♪
♪ E TO THE ♪
♪ MO TO THE ♪
♪ E TO THE ♪
♪ UP IN THE MORNING ♪
♪ NEW DAY IS DAWNING ♪
♪ IT'S ME, IT'S ME ♪
♪ NOW REALIZING MY RESPONSIBILITIES ♪
♪ IT'S ME ♪
♪ MY BEST FRIENDS ♪
♪ ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND ♪
♪ IF YOU WANNA BE DOWN, COME ON ♪
♪ GOTTA DO WHAT I GOTTA DO ♪
♪ I GOTTA MOVE ON ♪
♪ MOESHA ♪
OH, YEAH, HOMEY.
I'M BEATING YOU, DAWG.
UH, SO WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?
MY DAD'S AT WORK, AND MY STEPMOM'S OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
HA. I'M BEATING YOU, HOMEY.
COME ON. LOOK AT YOU. YOU GOT DROP-KICKED...
[TURNS GAME OFF]
DANG, GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU BETTER LEARN HOW TO CONTROL YOUR WOMAN.
LOOK, WE DIDN'T COME OVER HERE
TO WATCH YOU GUYS PLAY STUPID VIDEO GAMES.
WHAT THIS PARTY NEEDS IS SOME MUSIC.
HOLD UP, YO. THIS ISN'T A PARTY.
IT'S JUST SUPPOSED TO BE ME AND TONY STUDYING.
ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS ONE DANCE.
ALL RIGHT, WE CAN DO THAT, I GUESS.
[FAST JAM PLAYS]
UH-HUH.
UNH, UNH.
UNH. UNH.
[TURNS OFF MUSIC]
NOW WHAT?
MAN, SHE MAKE A BROTHER WANNA STAY SINGLE.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
I HEARD THAT.
HEY, GET THE LIGHTS.
[SLOW JAM PLAYS]
THAT'S PERFECT.
DANG, GIRL. IT'S NOT EVEN MY BIRTHDAY.
UNH, UNH. BE GENTLE WITH ME.
RELAX.
WHAT'S WRONG?
UH, NOTHING.
MYLES, WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?
I'll TELL YOU LATER.
WELL, IS ANYBODY GONNA TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
MOESHA, DARLING. YOU LOOK SO...
OH, FORGET IT.
JUST LET ME BORROW YOUR ANTHROPOLOGY NOTES.
NO WAY. I NEED MY NOTES SO I CAN STUDY FOR THE TEST TOMORROW.
[POUTY NOISE]
BUT YOU CAN STAY AND COPY THEM.
OH, GOOD.
PEN... PAPER.
YO, KEEM, I WISH YOU'D RETHINK THIS GIFT THING. YOU PLAYING YOURSELF.
THIS'LL WORK, ALL RIGHT?
MAN, SHE DON'T WANT YOU NO MORE.
SHUT UP, ALL RIGHT?
HEY, Y'ALL.
HEY, HEY, PEOPLE.
HEY, NIECY. WHAT YOU LOOKIN' FOR, A JOB?
I HEAR THEY HIRING AT THE SEXY FACTORY.
HEH HEH. JEROME, THAT'S SO SWEET.
I BET YOU GET A LOT OF PLAY AT THE BINGO GAMES.
UH, MO...
UM, YEAH, GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING I PICKED UP FOR YOU.
HAKEEM, PLEASE.
YOU'RE MAKING THIS MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT HAS TO BE.
NO, NO, NO, MO. JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING
I BEEN MEANING TO GIVE TO YOU, YOU KNOW. COME ON, TAKE IT.
-MAN, YOU MADE YOUR DELIVERY. LET'S BOUNCE. -WAIT.
COME ON, MO, OPEN IT UP
SO WE CAN SEE WHAT HAKEEM STOLE FROM HIS MAMA'S HOUSE.
OH, LOOK, IT'S A BIG PICTURE OF ME AND HAKEEM.
HAKEEM, WHOSE HAND IS THAT?
NIECY'S.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
THE CHIPPED NAILS AND ASHY KNUCKLES.
WELL, UH, HOW ABOUT I MOISTEN MY KNUCKLES WITH YOUR EYE JUICE?
UM...
S-SO MO, I WAS JUST THINKING THAT MAYBE
YOU COULD, UH, HANG THAT UP IN YOUR ROOM
AS SORT OF A REMINDER OF OUR SPECIAL...
SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP.
THANK YOU, HAKEEM. I KNOW JUST THE PLACE FOR IT.
COOL!
YO, HAKEEM, LET ME TAKE YOU OUTTA HERE
- AND EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT JUST HAPPENED. - WHAT?
MM, MM, MM.
NOW WHO WOULD BE THAT DESPERATE?
NIECY, COME ON, THIS ISN'T EASY FOR HAKEEM.
GIRL, WHO CARES ABOUT HAKEEM? LOOK...
HERE'S A COMPANY PAYING $500 A WEEK
TO ANYBODY WHO'LL LET THEM PUT A CAMERA IN THEIR ROOM.
SO THEY CAN WATCH YOU?
NO. SO EVERYBODY CAN WATCH YOU ON THE INTERNET.
FOR REAL? LET ME SEE THAT.
RIGHT THERE.
NOW WHAT KIND OF LOWLIFE FREAK
WOULD TRADE THEIR PRIVACY FOR $500?
MM, MM, MM!
I SEE YOU, MYLES! OPEN THE DOOR!
PLEASE, COME IN.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I'M LATE.
LATE? [LAUGHS] YOU AIN'T LATE.
I DIDN'T EVEN INVITE YOU OVER.
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA DENY WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I'M PREGNANT, AND YOU THE DADDY.
WAIT, HOLD UP. TIME OUT.
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE LATE DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE PREGNANT.
I GOT A "B" IN BIOLOGY.
AND I GOT A "B" IN BABY.
I KNOW MY BODY.
WELL, NOW HOW YOU KNOW IT'S MINE?
HA. 'CAUSE I DON'T DANCE AROUND.
WELL, UH,
CAN WE CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION ANOTHER TIME?
I'M ON PUNISHMENT AND I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANY COMPANY.
SO...
UH-HUH. BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T IGNORE ME,
BECAUSE I'M NOT... OH, MY BAD... I MEAN WE'RE NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE.
HEY, YOUR LITTLE GIRLIE SEEMS UPSET.
WHAT'D YOU DO TO HER?
SHE'S ALL MAD BECAUSE SHE THINKS I GOT HER PREGNANT.
PREGNANT?
WHEN'D THIS HAPPEN?
RIGHT HERE THE OTHER DAY IN THE FAMILY ROOM.
WHAT? CHH!
YOU WILDER THAN ME!
YEAH, YEAH, WELL... WE WERE SLOW DANCIN'
AND...
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT HAPPENED.
I NEVER KNEW YOU COULD GET PREGNANT WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON.
- WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON? - YEAH.
OH, YEAH. MYLES, YOU MIGHT EVEN HAVE TWINS, MAN.
YEAH. UNCLE D-MONEY. I THINK I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.
"WHAT UP, UNCLE D?" YEAH.
D, MAN, THIS IS SERIOUS.
I KNOW IT IS. DO YOU HAVE A JOB LINED UP?
MYLES, CHILDREN ARE VERY EXPENSIVE.
YOU GOT TO BUY FORMULA. YOU GOT TO BUY DIAPERS.
YOU GOT TO BUY BABY FUBU.
D, MAN, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
YOU GONNA STAND UP, BE A MAN!
FACE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES. WHAT YOU THINK?
HOW?
WELL, YOU CAN START BY ASKING YOUR FATHER
TO TURN MO'S ROOM INTO A NURSERY.
BIG PAPA!
SO, UH...
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT HAKEEM?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I DON'T WANT
TO HURT HIM, NIECY.
HMM. WELL, I SAY STRING HIM ALONG
TILL YOU KNOW IF Q IS SERIOUS.
THAT'S JUST IT.
Q IS DEAD SERIOUS.
MM. WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?
BECAUSE HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.
WHAT?
OH! OH, GIRL, I'M SORRY!
OH, MY GOD! WELL, WHEN... WHEN DID HE POP THE QUESTION?
OH, MY... AM I GONNA BE THE MAID OF HONOR?
OOH! WHAT'D YOUR DADDY SAY?
YOU KNOW, I WAS GONNA TELL HIM,
BUT THEN HE STARTED GOING OFF ABOUT Q.
SO I DECIDED NOT TO TELL ANYBODY YET.
WAIT A MINUTE. SO NOBODY KNOWS?
NO.
YOU TRUSTED ME WITH YOUR SECRET?
OOH, GIRL, WE REALLY ARE FRIENDS AGAIN!
I LOVE YOU, MO!
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
OH, MY GOD!
OH! OOH, GIRL, I GOT POPCORN
ALL IN YOUR HAIR.
- I'M GONNA GET IT. - IT'S COOL. IT'S COOL.
AM I SEEING THINGS, OR DID YOU GET YOUR TONGUE PIERCED?
OOH! HOO HOO!
YOU GO, GIRL. LET ME SEE IT AGAIN.
WHOA!
HEY, MAN. WHAT'S GOIN' ON OVER THERE?
WHATEVER IT IS, IT MUST BE GOOD.
YO, KEEM! YOUR EX AND MY NEXT ARE ABOUT TO GET THEIR FREAK ON!
TCH. OH, BOY. YEAH, RIGHT.
DANG!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. MAN, LET ME SEE YOUR PHONE!
WHY?
SO I CAN CALL MO AND LET HER KNOW WHAT'S GOIN' ON.
IF YOU WAIT A MINUTE, WE'LL SEE WHAT'S GOIN' ON!
GIVE ME THIS PHONE!
IT'S GONNA BE CRAZY!
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HOLD ON. OK.
[RING]
HELLO?
YO, MO. WHATEVER YOU DOIN', GET OUTTA THERE!
HAKEEM, WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
LOOK, MO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOIN' ON,
BUT I'M DOWN HERE AT THE PENDULUM WATCHING YOU ON A COMPUTER SCREEN!
YEAH, RIGHT.
TAKE IT OFF!
WHOO!
HAKEEM, WHAT'S ALL THAT NOISE?
LOOK, MO, THAT'S YOUR FAN CLUB!
LOOK, UH...
NIECY JUST TOOK HER SHIRT OFF, RIGHT?
OH, MY GOD! NIECY!
NIECY, WE'RE ON TV!
GIRL, WHY YOU PLAYIN'? WHERE THE CAMERA AT?
- AW, MAN! - AW!
BRAVO!
ENCORE!
STOP!
HAKEEM, HAVE YOU SEEN ALICIA?
NOT LIKE WE SEEN Y'ALL.
JEROME, DO YOU WANT A PIECE OF WHAT ALICIA'S GONNA GET?
IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE NIECY WAS ABOUT TO GET, YEAH!
YOU KNOW, LET ME SET YOU STRAIGHT, OK?
AND I DO MEAN STRAIGHT. WE'RE NOT LIKE THAT.
THAT'S RIGHT. NOW, HAKEEM, CAN YOU PULL UP THAT WEB SITE?
I NEED TO LOOK AT IT.
OK. "NAUGHTY CAL U COEDS" COMING RIGHT UP."
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
[TYPING]
HEY, THAT'S OUR SUITE!
CLICK ON THAT DOOR.
ALL RIGHT.
MM. SAYS PASSWORD REQUIRED.
WELL, HOW DO WE GET A PASSWORD?
WELL, YOU NEED A MEMBERSHIP, AND A MEMBERSHIP IS $19.95 A MONTH.
JUST TYPE IN ROME-LOVE.
SO I'M A FREAK. HAH!
OK...
THERE. WE'RE IN.
THAT'S OUR BEDROOM! HOW DID SHE GET A CAMERA IN THERE?
MO, YOU STILL DON'T KNOW SHE DID THIS.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
THERE'S ALICIA, FOLLOW HER INTO THE ROOM.
OK.
THERE'S NO ACCESS TO HER ROOM.
THAT'S ALL THE PROOF I NEED.
WELL, UH, WE KNOW WHERE SHE IS. LET'S GO BEAT HER DOWN!
NIECY, A BEAT DOWN WILL HEAL IN TIME.
WHAT WE WANT IS LONG-TERM PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE.
HEY, BUT IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND AND BEAT HER DOWN,
COULD Y'ALL DO THAT IN SOME PUDDING?
SOME PUDDING?
SOME WHIPPED CREAM?
HERE SHE COMES.
AH-AH-AHEM!
WHAT DO Y'ALL KNOW ABOUT...
THIS?
SILLY ME. YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS.
IT'S CALLED LOOKING GOOD.
YOU KNOW WHAT, ALICIA... NIECY, NIECY,
THE PLAN.
GIRL, YOU KNOW I HAVE TO ADMIT
YOU ARE WORKING IT, HONEY!
OH, MOESHA. OH!
IT IS SO NICE TO SEE YOU GET
OVER YOUR JEALOUSY LONG ENOUGH
TO APPRECIATE SOMETHING...
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE.
MO, MO, MO. PLAN.
SO ALICIA, WHAT GUY'S GONNA GET LUCKY?
OOH, I MEAN... WHO'S THE LUCKY GUY?
STANLEY, RANDY. I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SURE THE NAME WILL COME TO ME
WHEN I GET TO THE RESTAURANT.
ALL I KNOW IS HE'S RICH AND ♪ FINE! ♪
WELL, UH, WHAT TIME IS HE PICKING YOU UP?
AND HAVE HIM KNOW WHERE I LIVE?
PLEASE! HE'S LUCKY I'M LETTING HIM PAY FOR DINNER AND A MOVIE.
MY ADDRESS IS MUCH MORE INFORMATION THAN HE NEEDS.
OH, ALL RIGHT, GIRL. YOU GO AHEAD AND HAVE A GOOD TIME,
- 'CAUSE TONIGHT IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU! - YOU!
OH! YOU'RE LEARNING.
ME!
YEAH, IT'S YOU, GIRL.
JUST YOU, MAMA.
GO, NOW... I CAN'T STAND HER!
I CAN'T STAND HER EITHER.
COAST IS CLEAR.
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
I WAS RUNNIN' OUT OF DRAWERS TO GO THROUGH.
DANG, NIECY, HOW MANY THONGS DOES A SISTER NEED?
BOY, YOU CANNOT BE GOING THROUGH PEOPLE'S
PERSONAL STUFF. THAT'S WRONG.
GET IN HERE AND PICK THIS GIRL'S LOCK SO WE CAN GET IN HER ROOM!
I NEED A CREDIT CARD.
UH... UH, OK.
UH, RIGHT THERE.
THE 89 CENT STORE?
THEY HAVE A CREDIT CARD?
LOOK, THAT LOCK DOESN'T CARE WHERE I SHOP, OK?
YEAH, APPARENTLY YOU DON'T EITHER, NIECY.
OH, BE QUIET!
HEY...
Y'ALL REALLY NEED TO CHANGE YOUR LOCKS AROUND HERE.
REALLY?
YEAH. REALLY.
DANG. WHERE'D YOU LEARN HOW TO DO THAT?
BOOT CAMP. BUT THERE, WE WERE BREAKIN' OUT!
WHOA! CHH... UH-UH!
DANG, SHE WORE A WIG WHEN SHE WAS A BABY, TOO?
HEY, HOME GIRL HAS A PROBLEM.
OK. THERE MUST BE AT LEAST 20 PICTURES OF HER IN HERE.
OH, MY...
I MEAN, THE PICTURES ARE ONE THING.
BUT SHE AUTOGRAPHED THEM TO HERSELF.
"TO ALICIA.
YOU GO, GIRL. LOVE, ALICIA."
ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL. COME ON, LET'S GET TO WORK.
HEY, SON.
HEY, DAD.
[CHUCKLES]
OH, I SEE YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN CURRENT
EVENTS, HUH?
NO. I'M JUST LOOKIN' FOR A JOB.
MYLES, YOU JUST STARTED BACK TO SCHOOL.
YOU LOOKING FOR A JOB NOW?
YEAH. I GOTTA SUPPORT MY FAMILY.
[CHUCKLES] WELL, I APPRECIATE THAT, SON,
BUT BROTHERS' SATURN IS DOING JUST FINE.
NOT THIS FAMILY.
I GOT SABRINA WILSON PREGNANT, YOU'RE GONNA BE A GRANDDADDY.
MYLES...
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
I GOT SABRINA WILSON PREGNANT.
WHAT?
M... UH...
UH... I... I MEAN... I MEAN, YOU?
WHAT... [SIGHS]
HOW?
WELL, THE OTHER DAY, SABRINA AND I
WERE SLOW DANCING, AND...
SHE WAS HOLDING ME PRETTY CLOSE, AND...
SOMETHING HAPPENED. AND NOW SHE'S LATE AND WE'RE PREGNANT.
[LAUGHS] OH...
IS THAT ALL?
ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?
[LAUGHS]
SON, YOU HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A MINUTE.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE TAKING IT LIKE THIS.
I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE TO ENLIST!
NO, I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THAT, 'CAUSE SHE'S NOT PREGNANT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
WELL, BECAUSE IT'S A LITTLE MORE INVOLVED THAN THAT.
WELL, SABRINA KNOWS HER BODY.
YEAH, BUT EVIDENTLY SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW A BABY IS MADE.
YOU SEE, MYLES...
IT TAKES AN INTIMATE CONT... TACT,
UH, BEFORE A WOMAN GETS PREGNANT.
WELL, ACTUALLY, MYLES, YOU SEE, A WOMAN
AND A MAN... DAD.
ARE WE GONNA HAVE THAT TALK AGAIN?
WERE YOU LISTENING THE LAST TIME?
I WAS KINDA EMBARRASSED.
MM-HMM. I THINK YOU'D BETTER PAY ATTENTION THIS TIME.
ALL RIGHT.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I THINK I'D BETTER CALL SABRINA'S PARENTS.
IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SHE NEEDS "THE TALK" JUST AS BAD AS YOU DO.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO TALK TO DORIAN, TOO,
'CAUSE HE THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA HAVE TWINS.
THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME YESTERDAY.
THAT WAS GOOD LOOKING OUT.
YEAH, MO. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.
YEAH. OH, WAIT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
HERE YOU GO. KEEP THAT.
[LAUGHS]
YEAH, YEAH.
OH, YEAH, MO. LOOK.
GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHIN' SOMETHIN'.
HAKEEM, I CAN'T, ALL RIGHT?
I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS,
BUT I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS. IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT.
WHY NOT? 'CAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND NIECY?
NO. I'M OVER THAT.
IT'S BECAUSE I'M WITH Q NOW.
LOOK, HAKEEM, YOU KNOW THAT WE'LL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS.
YEAH, FRIENDS, HUH?
IS THAT WHY Y'ALL HAVEN'T BEEN WEARING MY RING?
LOOK, ABOUT THAT RING... LOOK, MO, JUST...
KEEP THAT
AND ACCEPT THIS LAST GIFT FROM A FRIEND.
- HAKEEM... - PLEASE?
IT'S EMPTY.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR GIFT IS IN HERE, MO.
AND... AND YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE IT.
OH, HAKEEM, THAT'S THE SWEETEST GIFT I'VE GOTTEN.
REALLY?
YES.
SWEETER THAN THOSE DAMN ROCKS?
I'M JUST KIDDING.
[BOYS LAUGHING]
WHAT ARE THEY TRIPPIN' ON?
LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
[LAUGHTER]
OH, MY GOD!
CHH. SHOOT.
I'M GLAD I AIN'T TAKE
THE TAGS OFF HIS BAD BOY, 'CAUSE IT'S GOIN'
RIGHT BACK.
[SNIFF]
I'M SO SICK OF MEN.
I SHOULD HAVE STAYED HERE WITH YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
I MEAN, YOU... YOU ALWAYS LISTEN TO ME,
AND YOU NEVER GET BORED.
WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU ARE A BOARD.
[SNORTS]
GET IT? THE CARDBOARD? [LAUGHS]
[GASPS] OH, SHAFT, DON'T GET MAD.
YOU KNOW I'M JUST PLAYIN', BABY.
WHAT WAS THAT?
OH, WELL...
LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT MY MAMA GAVE ME, BABY!
[LAUGHS] GOT HER!
ALL RIGHT.
GO GET ALICIA TO AUTOGRAPH THAT FOR YOU.
HEY, ALICIA, COME ON OVER HERE,
GIRL, AND TAKE A PICTURE WITH SHAFT.
AGAIN!
OH! OH, NO!
OH! OH!
OH, YOU KNOW THEY SAY
ALICIA IS A BAD MOTHER... SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
NOW YOU KNOW I'M ONLY TALKIN' 'BOUT ALICIA.
[LAUGHS] MAN, SHE GOT PLAYED!
LOOK AT HER FACE!
[LAUGHING]