双字幕精校:非常小天
《神奇遥控器》
What was going on there huh?
你们在干嘛?
We thought you were sleeping Daddy.
爹地, 我们以为你在睡觉呢
How can I sleep with two Twinkie burglars roaming around?
两个甜点小贼在伺机蠢动, 我怎么睡得着
-Can we watch Dragon Tales please? -Yeah. Why not why not?
-我们能看卡通吗? -当然咯
Which one of these turns on the TV?
哪个是电视的遥控?
Honey I think you just opened the garage.
老公, 你刚开了车库的门
I'm just planning ahead I know
老婆, 我知道, 只是预做准备罢了
P-yew! Was that a stinky-dink bug?
呃~咻~谁放的臭屁!
Good job.
你真棒
Whatever happened to the good old days, when you pulled the knob and on came the boob tube?
以前的日子多简单呀, 手动开关都不会错
The O'Doyles got a universal remote control
欧多尔家有个万能遥控
One clicker controls everything
什么都能控制
Makes life a lot easier for old people like you
尤其是像你这样的老人, 真方便
Well whoop-de-do for the O'Doyles
管他的, 欧多尔
...tree house?
...树屋?
I don't know. Ask your father
我不好说...问你爸爸吧
Ask me what?
问我什么?
Do you think you'll have time to finish building the tree house ever?
你什么时候才会有空, 完成我们的树屋?
Yeah Dad. It's kind of been halfway done for two months now.
对呀, 老爸, 半成品挂在树上两个月啦
All right. I want to it's just.
嗯, 我也想尽快
I got a lot of things going on at work right now.
只是我工作实在太忙
But as soon as I'm done. I'm on it I promise
我保证, 只要一有空, 我就去盖屋
Hang in there
让它先挂在那儿吧
Hey look at Sundance wrestle his duck.
快瞧, 阳阳在和鸭鸭摔角呢
Oh, no, that's not wrestling.
呃...不是啦, 那不是摔角, 而是...
That's something you shouldn't know about for another 10 to 30 years.
十到卅年后你们就会懂了
Ten for you.
你再十年
Thirty for you.
你再卅年
-Hey, Michael? -Yes.
- 迈可 - 嗯
-I'll see you tonight at the swim meet? -Swim meet.
- 我今晚要去游泳赛 - 游泳赛?
-I gotta go to that? -Yes.
- 呃...我也得去? - 对呀
I'm kidding you. I'll be there. Okay?
刚才是唬你, 好啦, 我一定到
All right. I love you, Michael.
嗯, 我爱你, 迈可
Forever and ever, babe.
一生一世。 啵~
Mr. Newman.
纽曼先生
Kevin O'Doyle. Yeah. Always a pleasure.
凯文, 很高兴见到你
What kind of stereo you got in that blue piece of shit?
你那蓝色破车里的音响是啥牌的?
You know what? I never checked,Kevin.
这个嘛...我从没注意过
Yeah,well, my father's stereo is a Bose.
我爸的音响是博斯(Bose)
Your father's stereo blows? That's too bad.
你爸的音响" 破死 "了? 真不幸啊
No! I said--
不是啦, 我是说...
That's not what I said!
我没那样说啦!
His father's stereo blows!
他爸的音响" 破死 "了! 哇哈哈~
Come on! Pay the man, let's go!
老兄, 快点吧
-Good morning,Mr. Newman. -Good morning.
-早安, 纽曼先生. -早安.
-Good morning,Mr. Newman. -Hello.
- 早安, 纽曼先生 - 哈啰
-Good morning,Mr. Newman. -Hi.
- 早安, 纽曼先生 - 嗨
-Good morning,Mr. Newman. -Hi.
- 早安, 纽曼先生 - 嗯
Good morning,Mr. Newman.
早安, 纽曼先生
Man,Alice, I was stuck in traffic for an hour and a half.
爱丽丝你好, 我塞车塞了一个半小时
When's the meeting?
会议是几点?
It started already.
呃...已经开始了
What?
什么!
Can I go to the bathroom?
我能去上厕所吗?
Go to the bathroom. I told you,you don't have to ask me.
去呀, 告诉过你, 不必请示我
Well,the interesting thing,Prince Habeeboo...is that the building codes in Manhattan will allow us--
哈比布王子, 奇特的事是... 曼哈顿的建筑法规只准我们...
Michael.
迈可
Sorry I'm late, sir.
对不起, 我迟了
Some moron in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot so--
不知哪个王八旦的红色兰博基尼跑车 停在了我的位置, 所以...
Prince Habeeboo drive red Lamborghini.
哈比布王子...开的是红色兰博基尼
Red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.
呃...不是红色兰博基尼 而是蓝色法拉利
ls this one of your partners?
他是...你的合伙人之一吗?
Actually,Michael is just an associate.
其实, 迈可只是公司的同仁
But he is one of our brightest young architects.
但他是我手下年轻有为的建筑师之一
Thank you.
谢谢
Walk His Majesty through our design concept.
你能替殿下解说一下设计的理念吗?
With pleasure.
我的荣幸
-Prince Haboobee-- -Habeeboo!
- 布比王子 - 是...哈比布...
Prince Habeeboo.
哈比布...王子
Habeeboo. I thought I said that.
哈...哈比布, 我没说错呀
When Mr. Ammer explained to me the type of man you are a visionary.
安莫先生已经告诉我, 您是一位...眼光远大的人
...who prides himself on originality...
对于原创理念更是自豪
...I said to myself, " Let's smash the mold and redefine elegance. "
所以我想...抛弃陈旧 重新定义辉煌典雅
So I present to you your restaurant.
容我为您展示...您的餐厅
Where is-- Where's bar?
酒吧在...在哪儿?
Bar is-- Here's the bar.
酒吧在...这儿
Now, the waterfall--
这是小瀑布
Make bar longer.
把酒吧加长点儿
Okay.
好吧
We could cut into the atrium a little bit.
我们可以...切入中庭一点
No atrium. Just make bar longer for Prince Habeeboo.
中庭就免了. 只要为哈比布王子把酒吧加长
-Really? -Yeah
-就这样? - (众人)对...对
Still itchy?
还痒吗?
You got it.
行了
And put big drain in floor for wet T-shirt contest.
为了"湿T恤"比赛, 地板上要加排水孔
Now,you're kidding me,right?
您说笑的吧?
Boob water's gotta go someplace,Michael.
废水总得要有地方去吧
Let's just take out the atrium and run with that and there's your drain.
就把中庭拿掉, 然后这样, 就有排水孔啦
God.
天啊
I love it.
我喜欢
It is simply awesome.
太酷了
Yeah. Basically you want me to design you an Arabian hoochie house?
真的!? 你要我设计个阿拉伯肚皮舞厅?
How dare you compare Prince Habeeboo's Bikini Hut to this hoochie house?
你胆敢把我的餐厅比做肚皮舞厅!
This idea's got nothing to do with hoochies,Michael.
他的意思和肚皮舞厅没关系
It's like opposite of hoochie. No disrespect,Prince Hubbida Hubbida.
我没有冒犯您的意思, 哈巴拉王子
Hubba Bubba.
哈巴巴巴
Habeeboo!
哈比布!
-Ha-bee-boo! -Habeeboo...Habeeboo!
- 哈-比-布 -哈比布...哈比布
Hubba Bubba is chewing gum.
哈巴巴巴是泡泡糖
Prince Habeeboo's not chewing gum.
哈比布王子可不是泡泡糖
Prince Habeeboo,we will--
哈比布王子
I will make this happen.
我们会...我会完全照办
John Ammer's office.
约翰·安莫办公室
I hope that atrium idea didn't take too long to configure,Michael.
希望你别为中庭的事挂心, 迈可
Oh,there'll be other Junes in my life,sir.
很快就忘了, 没事的
See that
看到那个...
parking garage over there on 56?
56街上的停车场吗?
Yeah!
嗯!
Watsuhita wants to knock it down and build a luxury hotel.
日本和津想要那块地来盖高级旅馆
You got the commission?
你受委托了吗?
Not yet.
还没
I just need someone to come up with a design proposal.
我要人设计一个计划书
Intrigued?
有兴趣吗?
Hell,yes.
呵~当然啦
I'm Fourth of July-ing with the kids. When I get back,I'm all over it.
周末国庆日带孩子出门回来后 我马上就开始
Great. Have a great Fourth of July with the kids.
好极了, 祝你国庆日和孩子玩得愉快
I'll put Swardson on it.
我让舒兹来做
No,no. Absolutely not. I-- I--
别, 别, 别这样, 我...我...
Can't it just wait three days?
难道不能等三天?
These guys are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook.
那些家伙是日本人, 他们连煮鱼的时间都等不及
I guess I could talk to my wife.
我得先和老婆谈谈
Great. See you later at happy hour with Prince Habadabee.
很好, 我和王子喝晚餐饭前酒时再见咯
My son has a swim meet tonight that I have to get to s--
晚上我要去儿子的游泳赛, 我...
I'm just messing with you. We're good.
我刚只是开个小玩笑, 没问题啦
Yeah,Ben!
好样的，本！
That's my boy!
我的好孩子
That's my boy!
我的好孩子
Kid,you were great!
好样的
You're not my dad.
你不是我爸
As far as you know.
你知道什么
What?
啥...!?
I was just joking.
玩笑话
Is he really my dad?
他真的是我爸吗? 呜~
Come on,come on! Yes,Ben. Yes,you did it!
快, 快, 好, 成啦
Honey,you were so great.
宝贝, 你行啊
Whoa,what are you,half a dolphin or something? That was incredible.
哇, 你快成海豚了, 真行
You just got here,Dad. I saw you.
爸, 你才到的, 我看见了
What do you mean I just got here? Why are you saying that?
哪有...你怎么说我刚到
I saw you. You jumped in there you swam here.
我看见你从那儿跳下去, 游到这儿
Then what stroke was he doing,Dad?
爸, 那你说他游什么式呀?
He was doing the shut-up.
他游的是...你闭嘴式
Hey. Good thing is Daddy was here to see you finish.
起码爸爸赶来看到你游回终点啦
He didn't see me finish. He was hanging out with Ping Woo for some reason.
他没看到啦, 不知为何他刚在小平那边
Yeah,what was that about,huh?
对呀, 你刚在干嘛?
The kid was drowning. I'm gonna let him drown?
那孩子快淹死了, 难道我能袖手旁观
Nobody goes drowning in my pool.
决不会有人淹死在我的池子里
How you doing? Bill Herlihy. Ben's coach. You must be Dad.
你好, 我是比尔·贺利, 游泳教练. 你是他父亲吧?
Michael Speedo-- Michael Newman. Sorry.
我是迈可·快点 对不起, 是迈可·纽曼才对
Big Ben,that was great progress out there,huh?
好样的, 本, 进步神速啊
Just remember,right arm out, head turns left. Left arm out--
记好咯...嘴右侧出水, 头就转左, 嘴左侧出水...
Head turns right. I know. I just forgot at the end.
头就转右, 我知道, 只是到最后却乱套了
Well,that's all right. You master that,people are gonna think you're a half a dolphin out there.
没关系, 只要练熟了 加上自己的能力, 就成了半只海豚啦
-Really? -Yeah.
-真的? - 对呀
Cute.
真乖.
Hello?
哈啰
Mr. Ammer.
安莫先生
Ben,honey,slow down. It's not a race.
本, 慢点儿吃, 这不是比赛
That's his second one in five minutes.
五分钟内吃了两个
Keeps eating more and more.
还愈吃愈多
He's like a machine.
像台机器
He can't still be hungry.
他怎么还会饿呢
He's not. He's just doing whatever Michael's doing. It's driving me crazy.
他不是饿啦, 他就像迈可一样, 老做些让我抓狂的事
Everything Michael's been doing lately is very unhealthy for him.
迈可最近这样过法, 很不健康耶
He's gonna kill himself.
他不想活啦
Like a signature building we're talking about.
就像我们讨论过的主建体...
Oh,my God.
哦, 我的天
Scared the crap out of me.
哼~ 吓得我屁滚尿流
Dad,how much longer are you gonna live?
爸, 你还能活多久?
One minute.
(等我)一分钟
One minute? Daddy's gonna die in one minute!
一分钟! 爹地一分钟后要死了
Oh,no,honey. Don't worry. I'm not dying.
不, 不, 宝贝, 别担心, 我不会死
I'm gonna live
我会活...
for 200 years. Is that long enough for you and me?
两百年, 对咱们俩来说, 够久了吧?
-Promise? -I promise. Swear. Come here.
- 保证? - 我发誓保证, 来抱抱
You son of a bitch!
龟儿子!
Hey!
喂!
There are families here!
这儿有老人和孩子们呀
Show some respect,you pieces of shit!
放尊重点儿, 王八旦
-Go home and watch VH1,old man. -Yeah.
- 老头儿, 回家看电视吧 - 对呀...耶...
Don't light another damn one!
不准再放一炮
Ah?
行不?
Benjamin. Benjamin. What am I holding?
本...本, 我手上拿着什么?
-A quarter. -A quarter.
- 两角五分铜板 - 两角五分铜板
Now,Grandma does not let me eat ice cream because of my diabetes.
因为我有糖尿病 姥姥不让我吃冰激淋
True.
没错
But she says nothing, however,
但...她可没说...
about a tasty quarter. Okay.
不准吃铜板 瞧好
All right. All right.
好啦, 吃了半个
Very quickly,please,count to three because it tastes terrible.
快数三, 因为铜板好难吃
-One... -One...
- 1... - 1...
-two... -two...
- 2... - 2...
-three... -three...
- 3... - 3...
Are you shitting me?
真他妈的很唬人
First he's eating like his father,now you're talking like him?
他先是吃相像他爸 现在连说话口气都像
Ben!
本!
Don't you ever say that again.
以后不准再说脏话
Sorry,Grandma.
对不起, 奶奶
How do you do that,Grandpa?
你是怎么变的, 爷爷?
A good magician never reveals his secrets.
好魔术师决不泄漏诀窍
Your daddy has wanted to know how I've done that trick since he was your age.
你爸从你这年纪起, 就想知道我的诀窍
Isn't that true,son?
对吧, 儿子?
Hey,Michael. Michael,who are you talking to?
喂~ 迈可, 在和谁说话?
Jesus. I'm talking to my boss,Ma. Take it easy.
天啊, 老妈, 跟老板说话, 催啥!
Oh,yeah? Well,tell him to get a life. You got family here. You're busy. Come on.
跟他说自个儿去找乐子 全家都在等你, 你忙得很
My mother says hello.
我妈向你问好
Oh,he's such a big boy,isn't he? On his big cell phone. Big boy.
哇~ 他像个大人, 打手机人模人样
That's it. Get some sleep.
就这样, 安心去睡吧
Thank you Mr. Ammer. All right. Good night.
谢谢, 我懂, 晚安
Are you done? Can we relax now?
忙完了, 可以轻松一下了吧?
Sorry.
对不起
Eat me,grandpa!
听到了吗, 老头儿? 哈~
You're dead.
混蛋
-Oh,shit! -Yeah,you better run!
- 妈的, 糟啦! - 没错, 你们最好赶快跑
I kicked your father's ass in high school! Now I'm gonna kick yours!
你们把我吓得屁滚尿流 该我踹你们的屁股了
I hate that man.
我讨厌那个人
Okay,good night,you two cowboys.
小牛仔们, 晚安
Reach for the sky,Pocahontas.
等等, 波卡洪塔斯 （印第安公主）
No,back to bed. Come on. Pocahontas is off duty. I'm out of here.
快去睡, 波卡洪塔斯下班了
You getting sick,sheriff?
你病啦, 警长?
I don't got time to be sick,so no.
我没时间生病
I need to watch this documentary on Asian architecture.
还得看亚洲建筑纪录片
Well,you gotta get some rest sometime,sweetheart.
甜心, 你总得找时间休息吧
Besides,the woodland creatures will laugh at you if you collapse trying to put up the tent this weekend.
周末去露营要搭帐棚, 如果你病怏怏的, 林子里的动物会笑你
Yeah. I forgot to tell you.
呃...忘了跟你说
We gotta postpone the camping trip.
我们得把露营的时间延后
Ammer put me on a project. It's due Tuesday. If I don't finish, I'm off it,so....
安莫给个计划, 下星期二前得完成 否则就拱手让人了
The kids have been talking about camping all year.
但孩子们一整年都在期盼和你一起露营
Think I don't know that?
我难道不知道
It's just every choice l make, everything I do I disappoint somebody.
只是不管我怎么决定, 都会让某些人失望
Make sure you don't keep disappointing the wrong people.
所以你该知道 别一直让不该失望的人失望
I'm not out drinking or gambling or hitting on chicks.
唐娜, 我又不是吃喝嫖赌
I'm working my ass off so my family can have a better life than I dreamed of when I was a kid.
而是拼命工作, 才能让我家人过我儿时梦想般的生活
The only way for that to happen is for me to watch this stinking show!
要实现梦想, 现在我就得看录相
So relax,hon.
饶了我吧, 老婆
Are you kidding me? Will you give me a break one time?
搞啥? 什么时候才能放我一马?
Damn it! The O'Doyles got a stinking universal remote control. We're gonna have one too.
欧多尔有万能遥控, 我也要一个
I'm sick of this.
我受够了
-You want me to open the garage for you? -Yes!
- 要我替你开车库门吗? - 要!
Closed.
[超值 电器音响大卖场] 打烊了
Closed.
[钉书针 办公用品大卖场] 打烊了
Open.
还开着
Bed Bath & Beyond it is.
卧浴&超越 [卧室浴室用品大卖场]
Hey,man?
你好
You guys got any universal remote controls in there?
你们有万能遥控吗?
For a shower curtain or a bathmat?
浴帘还是地垫用的?
For a television.
电视用的
I don't think so.
嗯...好像没有
Maybe for a blanket?
或是电毯用的?
You got a remote for a blanket?
电毯还有遥控?
Sorry, I don't work here. I'm waiting for my friends.
对不起, 我不是这部门的 只是代朋友的午班
You're kidding me.
说笑吧?
Actually,yes. I don't have any friends.
呃...对呀, 我根本没朋友
Will you be my friend?
你能做我的朋友吗?
Wow,man.
哇~ 老兄!
Bed.
卧室
Bed.
卧室
Bath.
浴室
Bath.
浴室
Bed.
床!
So tired of my life.
这辈子累死我了
Beyond?
超越 [超越]
# 亲爱的... #
# 投入我怀抱 #
Sorry to sneak up on you. I just--
对不起, 不请自来, 我...
You guys got a universal remote control back here?
你们这儿的存货有万能遥控吗?
Something stinks like stale french fries.
有过时薯条的臭味
All right,that's probably me.
呵~ 那八成是我
You know,fast food shortens your life.
你知道速食会让你短命吧
Yeah,that's what I heard. But the way my life's been going lately,that ain't such a bad thing.
对呀, 我听说了 不过以我目前的处境来说, 那也不错呀
You're looking for a universal remote control?
你在找万能遥控?
Yeah. Just one device to do it all for me...
对, 一个遥控, 能控制所有电器
...make my life a little easier,quicker,not so damn complicated.
让我能活得舒服些 日子也不那么复杂
I'm not supposed to do this,but you seem like a good guy.
我本不该帮你 不过你看起来像个好人
Hey. Somebody noticed. Thank you.
起码还有人会注意到, 谢谢
I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in...
让我带你去看最新进货的遥控
...that's probably the most advanced piece of technology we have in this place.
是这儿科技最先进的产品
Sounds sweet.
听起来不错
It is sweet. The latest,greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.
当然咯, 最新, 最先进 甚至还没上市呢
I guess the O'Doyles' remote can bite my advanced-technological ass then.
看来欧多尔的遥控是小巫见大巫
I don't know the O'Doyles...
我不认识欧多尔, 但...
...but they can bite it hard.
这大巫吃小巫可不会客气哦
Yeah.
爽!
Come in the back with me.
跟我到后面来吧
Okay.
好
This is-- This is very nice of you.
你真是好人
What's your name,anyways?
对了, 还没请教您的名号
Call me Morty.
就叫我莫提吧
Morty, I'm Michael Newman.
你好莫提, 我是迈可·纽曼
Michael Newman.
迈可·纽曼...
I'm about to rock your world.
欢迎来到我的天地
Okay.
好呀
[超越极限]
I gotta be honest with you. This place looks bigger from the outside.
老实说, 这地方从外面看, 还比较大
- Ahh? -Just kidding.
- 真的? - 玩笑啦
[超新产品]
I think maybe there in the middle?
我想大概在...上面中间?
Sneaky.
好玩意儿
Where's the box? Does it come with directions?
哇~ 有盒子吗? 说明书呢?
Not necessary.
不用了吧
Just point
只要...瞄准...
click.
击键...
Eventually,it will program itself.
其实...它会自我设定
How much is this thing?
这要多少钱?
Because I ain't exactly Thurston Howell,you know?
我怕...钱不够
Lucky for you it's not in the bar-code system yet.
你运气好, 它还没有上条码进存货档
So I'm gonna have to just give it to you.
我只得把它送给你啦
Whoa,whoa,whoa. What's the catch here,man?
等等...该不会有诈吧
Want me to take my shirt off for you? Because I don't play for that team.
你要我把外套留下? 我可不明白你的把戏哦
Hey. Man,get out of here.
喂~ 少来啦
Why are you doing this,then?
那你为什么要这样?
Because good guys need a break every once in a while.
因为...好人总得时不时受老天眷顾吧
Enjoy.
好好享受
All right.
好吧
-Only one thing you need to know,Michael. -Uh-hum
- 你只要记住一件事 - 嗯
This item is nonreturnable.
这不能退货
Why would I wanna return something I got for free?
不要钱的, 我干嘛要退
Twinkie. You don't need it. You don't need it,man.
小蛋糕...你不需要...不需要
You do need a Yodel,though. Okay. Good job.
那个嘛...你需要...好样儿的
Let's see what you got,mate.
来试试遥控吧
Look at me,turning my own TV on. I'm a freaking whiz kid.
哇~ 我居然能自己开电视了 我真是个天才
...residential architecture....
...住宅建筑...
So I talked to the kids.
我和孩子们说了
Oh,yeah?
哦
They're very understanding about not going camping this weekend.
他们能谅解, 周末为何不能去露营
Great.
那好
They could have a sleepover instead.
我告诉他们, 周末可以请朋友来过夜
That's a great idea. Thank you,thank you.
好主意, 谢谢, 谢谢
Thanks for being so cool about this too.
谢谢你这么体谅我
Can l ask you something?
我能问你个问题吗?
Yes.
嗯
After you do all this work and become a big player at your company...
你辛苦工作, 在公司升了主管之后...
Uh-hum
继续
...do you think you're gonna have more time for us...
你认为会有更多时间陪我们
...or are things just gonna get even more out of control?
还是以后情况会更糟糕?
Wait.
等等...
When I get to that place and become a boss a millionaire, a big shot,
等我成了老板, 百万富翁, 大人物
the first thing I'm gonna do is hire a bunch of idiots just like me to do all my work.
第一件事就是去雇一群像我这样的傻子, 来替我工作
So then you,me and the kids can do whatever the hell we want.
你, 我, 孩子们爱干嘛就干嘛
You just gotta give me some time.
你得给我一点儿时间吧
Don't give me that look.
别那样看着我
I'm just saying, give me some support.
我只要你多支持我
All right? I love you. Go to sleep.
我爱你...去睡吧
Just think about it,Michael.
想想我的问题吧, 迈可
Absolutely.
没问题
And stop with the Yodels. You're gonna wake up 400 pounds.
别再吃甜点了, 哪天睡醒, 你会变400磅
Okay.
好
Hey,hey,hey. Keep it down,dude. Everybody's sleeping.
喂~ 喂~ 小声点儿, 大家都在睡觉
You gotta poop again?
你又要大便了?
Why don't you do the humpy-pumpy on the duck,okay?
你去和鸭鸭摔角, 好吗?
Will you just hold it in for five minutes and keep the freaking volume down?
我才安静了五分钟, 你给我小声点儿
[音量]
I guess when you combine mass quantities of cough syrup with Yodels you get acid.
我猜吃多了咳嗽糖浆加甜点 就会烧心
Go.
快点
Hey,you said you gotta go. Go already,man.
你说你要大便, 那就快去呀
Sniffy Longdroppings,today.
还闻啥, 快大呀
Holy motherfu--!
天啊, 妈的!
Yeah, I mean,you're right. In the short run plastic surgery is a hassle.
你说得对, 短期来说, 整容很不舒服
But six months later...
但...六个月后...
...I'm gonna have a face and a body that's gonna get me to places where l wanna be.
以我的脸蛋和身材, 想要什么就有什么
Oh,my mother,typical you know,she says:
呵呵...我妈说...
" Oh,this procedure is too risky. "
还是老套, " 这种手术很危险 "
If Samantha wanted her cheekbones shaved down, I think I'd freak out too.
如果我女儿要把颧骨削彽, 也会吓死我
I know,but I just think, you know, they're too Slavic.
我知道, 只是颧骨高, 好像斯拉夫人
You should get some work done.
你也该去整个容
Then maybe Michael will wanna hang out with you too.
这样也许迈可就愿意多陪陪你了
Morning,Michael.
早安, 迈可
You're looking very crappy today.
你今天看起来真没精神
Morning, Janine, you're looking
早安, 杰妮, 你看起来...
very Slavic.
很斯拉夫
You're just jealous
你是忌妒我吧
because Donna and I are going to the gym...
我和唐娜要去健身房
...and all the guys are gonna be hitting on us.
所有的男人都会来搭讪
Michael knows he's my one and only.
哦~ 迈可知道他是我唯一的男人
Forever and ever,babe.
永远永远, 宝贝
-Sorry about last night. And l love you. I'm s--
- 昨晚对不起......我爱你 - 没事
Oh,my God. I want that so bad.
噢~ 我也要一个
A husband that I can kiss and love
我能吻能爱的丈夫, 还有...
and give juice to.
能给他来点果汁
You've already cheated on three different husbands with their brothers.
你和前三任丈夫的兄弟都有一腿
l think you've given enough juice to everybody.
我想你给他们的汁也不少啦
Love juice.
我爱喝果汁
You know way too much about me.
你知道太多我的事了
I should never have done that Montel Williams show.
我就知道不该上电视节目《私生活》
Even Montel Williams thinks you're crazy and he's seen a lot of shit.
主持人老是鬼扯, 不过连他都说你太疯狂
I was desperate for companionship!
我只不过是急着想找伴儿
All of my husbands All of them have emotionally abandoned me.
我的前夫们在精神上, 等于都抛弃了我
They went to work. You had sex with their unemployed brothers.
他们都得去上班, 然后你就和他们下岗的兄弟上床
You're a horndog.
你也太淫荡了吧
-Michael. -What!
- 迈可! - 什么!
-Okay,sweetie. Calm it down. -No,no!
- 别放心上 - 不要, 不要!
I have had self-esteem issues since I was a kid.
我小时候有很强的自尊心
I had a rabbit named Pepper. And that rabbit abandoned me too! Even the rabbit did! Even the rabb--
我以前养只兔子叫" 趴趴 " 连它都抛弃了我, 你比我兔子还疯...
Don't look at me!
别看着我!
-What's wrong with me? -Bunny rabbit,bunny--
- 别看着我! - 小兔子, 快跑
[切换功能 ... 画中画(PIP)]
Here's the pitch to Matsui. A deep drive.
(球向松井投出)
Oh,my,it's out of here!
(打得好, 球飞得好远)
A two-run shot into the right-field seats for Hideki Matsui.
(打到右侧看台, 松井打出两分全垒打)
I'm sorry. What was that?
对不起, 你刚说啥?
She has so many problems. Why do you have to be so mean?
她一堆问题, 你干嘛还对她这么刻薄
I don't know, I-- Hello.
我也不知道...怎么会说那些
I gotta go.
我得走了
Yeah,good RoboDog.
好, 乖机器狗
And he can bark in over six different languages.
它还能吠六种语言
It's so cool.
真酷
Yeah,it's much cooler than your stupid,human dog.
对呀, 比你那条真的笨狗酷多了
Hey,Dad,see Kevin's new robot dog?
爸, 看到凯文的机器狗了吗?
Yeah,yeah. Very nice.
嗯, 好玩意儿
" Very nice "? This thing is worth more than your car.
" 玩意儿 "!? 它比你的车还贵
Not anymore it ain't.
玩完了, 现在报销啦
RoboDog!
机器狗!
Hey,hey,hey.
嘿, 嘿, 嘿
Okay.
我说...
Is this some sort of reality show?
这是不是《真人秀》啊?
Are you the host? Morty?
你是什么主持人吧...莫提
Where are the cameras?
摄影机呢?
Got everybody in on it,huh?
所有的人都上节目了吧
Sundance did very well also.
我的狗演得也不错
All right, America!
哇! 各位观众好
Have your laugh! I'm an idiot!
笑个够吧, 我是呆瓜, 哈~
Donna, I'm gonna get you!
唐娜, 我再找你算帐, 哈~
Fast-forward.
快进...
HAHAHAHA~
哈哈哈
Nobody's laughing at you,Michael.
没人嘲笑你, 迈可
You wanted a universal remote control
你要万能遥控
that remote-controls your universe.
它就能遥控万物
Yeah,but what controls my dance skills?
真的哩! 那个钮控制我的舞技?
# 我有特异风格 #
# 得有特异风格才行 #
# 我有特异风格 #
Oh,Morty likes it too.
莫提也喜欢跳, 嘻嘻~
Michael,just hit menu.
迈可, 按" 菜单 "键
On the remote?
遥控上的?
No,the menu at the Red Lobster. Yes,on the remote.
难道是" 红龙虾餐厅 "的菜单不成 当然是遥控上的
嗯
[主选单]
Where are we?
我们在哪儿?
Cough syrup's kicking in again.
天啊, 希望不是又再开玩笑
What is this?
这是啥?
Your life menu.
你人生的菜单
My life has a commentary?
我的人生还值得评述?
It's chock-full of goodies.
精采得很呢
Click it.
按" 评述 "啊
Click it.
我按
This is last Tuesday.
这是上星期二
Michael was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his lunch order.
迈可急着等午餐
Who's that,James Earl Jones?
评述人是詹姆斯·琼斯?
James Earl does a lot of voice-over work.
詹姆斯做过很多讲评和配音
But his anticipation quickly turned to dismay...
但期待很快变成了失望
...as he realized Alice had brought him a cheeseburger instead of a hamburger as he requested.
他点的是普通的汉堡, 但爱丽丝买回来的却加了起司
A cheeseburger? I said a hamburger.
我要的是汉堡, 不是起司汉堡
She always does this to me.
她老是这样
Michael considered demanding that Alice scrape the cheese off but decided not to...
迈可本想命令爱丽丝把起司抹掉, 但决定还是不要
...fearing that Alice may spit in or otherwise defile the burger in some manner.
因为他怕她会在里面吐痰 或是搞些别的脏东西进去
A wise decision for that was exactly what Alice was planning to do.
很聪明的抉择 因为爱丽丝正想那么做, 哈哈哈
Are you kidding me?
真的还假的?
-Sneaky. -My God.
- 真贼 - 天啊
What else we got here?
还有什么精彩的?
''Making of''?
[幕后制作花絮] 制作什么?
Just click.
按吧
Hey,hey,psychedelic. Where are we?
哇~ 我们在哪儿?
Is this a porno or something?
呵呵, 这是色情片吗?
Oh,Ted. Oh,Teddy!
哦, 泰德, 哦~ 泰德
Is that my parents?
我的爸妈?
They're making you. Like bunny rabbits.
他们在" 制作 "你, 就像兔宝宝们一样
-That's the spot. -Smack my heinie!
- 就是那里 - 哦...我要来了!
Change the channel!
换台!
How do you do this?
怎么换呀?
I can't see.
我看不见
What happened?
怎么啦?
The floor is so mushy and slippery.
哇~ 地又湿又滑
Feels good on my feet.
我脚还满舒服的
Check it out.
瞧那儿
You hit the fast-forward button.
你按到了快进键
I believe we're sometime after your conception.
我们在经历生产的过程
Okay,very good,Mrs. Newman.
好得很, 纽曼太太
No!
不妙!
We're in my mother's vagina?
我们在我妈的阴道里!?
Again. And push.
对, 用力
It's a girl.
是女孩儿
It's a girl!
是女孩儿
Oh,lt's a girl. Thank you so much.
哦, 是女孩儿, 谢谢你
Thank you for that.
也谢谢你
-Wait a minute. -What?
- 等等... - 怎么啦?
I'm sorry, it might be a boy.
对不起, 可能是男孩儿
What do you mean, " might be "? What is that?
" 可能 "是什么意思? 到底是男是女?
Maybe that's a penis.
那个可能是阴茎
Maybe that's a pe--? That's a penis. That's my penis.
" 可能是阴茎 "!? 就是阴茎, 我的阴茎
Can l see that?
我能看看吗?
Can you bring that a little closer?
再靠近点儿
See?
看到了？
-That's a tiny schmeckel. -Yeah?
- 一根小小的黄瓜, 是男孩儿 - 对
-We have a boy! -We have a boy!
- 是男孩儿 - 是男孩儿
Your mother must have some superpower eyesight...
你妈妈...一定有超凡的视力, 因为...
...because l didn't see anything.
我什么也看不见
Let's get out of here.
哦, 原来这样啊, 咱们快走吧
So if you think about it...
让我想想
...l can reexperience
我可以重新体验...
any part of my life l want to.
我一生中任何时刻
It's amazing.
真神奇
What happened?
你怎么啦?
Oh,God what did I do?
噢, 天啊, 我做了什么?
Hello? How do I get you back here,pal?
哈啰, 朋友, 我怎么把你弄回来?
-Wow, -Gotcha.
哇! 骗到你了吧
I'm not freaked out enough?
你还没吓够我呀
It's simple. Think of a time and a place hit rewind,and you're there.
很简单, 想好时间地点 按退回键, 你就在那儿啦
Time and a place.
时间地点
Time and a place.
时间地点
[1976年]
[温尼波沙奇湖]
Oh,my God.
天啊
Lake Winnipesaukee.
温尼波沙奇湖
That's me in the Jets shirt.
那是我, 穿球衣的
Go, little me,go!
加油啊
-Good hands! Nice hands. -Thank you!
- 好球 - 谢谢
Michael!
迈可
Michael,dinner's almost ready.
迈可, 晚餐快好了
Invite your friends if you want to.
你可以请朋友一块儿来吃
So any of you wanna come by my tent for some supper?
你们能来我的帐棚吃晚餐吗?
Or we could eat at my Winnebago and watch Three's Company.
你们也可来到我家的旅游房车, 顺便看电视节目《三人行》
Three's Company.
好呀!
That's humiliating.
真丢脸
Mom,why can't we camp in an RV like every other family?
妈, 我们为什么不能像盖瑞他家, 也开旅游房车来露营呢?
Oh,come on. You call that camping?
算了吧, 那也叫露营
How can you get close to nature in a tin can like that?
坐在那种锡铁罐里怎么接近大自然?
Plus,it's more fun to have to keep each other warm at night.
再说, 晚上两人共享体温, 更有趣呀
Don't you know it.
你真懂情调
No cupcakes yet.
喂喂喂...还没到甜点的时候
But I'm starving.
但是我饿死了
I agree with you,Michael. You know how hungry I am?
你说得对, 迈可, 你知道我多饿吗?
I am so hungry...
我饿得...
I could eat this.
连铜板都能吃
Oh,this is where the quarter trick started.
原来铜板魔术从这儿开始
How the heck did he do that?
他是怎么变的?
Oh,it's a trick coin you buy at a magic shop.
那是魔术用品店买来的特制铜板
I just couldn't let him know I knew that.
但不能让他知道我已经知道了
That's sweet.
真幸福
Now, I gotta get back to work, so hit play.
现在, 我得回去工作了, 按播放键
It's a very powerful device.
是功能强大的装置
-Use it with caution. -Okay.
- 得小心使用 - 好
Who are you?
你是谁?
You know who I am.
你知道的呀
Morty?
莫提?
If you have any questions...call me.
有问题的话, 打电话给我
No,Linda, I think Stacy gets the most-beautiful-feet award.
不, 琳达, 我认为丝黛西的脚更漂亮
You wanted to see me?
你要见我?
Michael.
迈可
Look, I'm heading out to the Hamptons in a couple of minutes. I'm counting on you.
我再一会儿就要去汉普敦了 一切都靠你了
This hotel project? It's a big fish.
这次的旅馆计划, 是尾大鱼
You reel it in for me and it's
你把它给我钓上来, 那咱们就是...
" Howdy,partner. "
" 你好, 伙伴儿 "
Okay. Thank you.
没问题, 谢谢
Screw it up,though,and it's " Back to the mailroom,atrium boy. "
搞砸了, 你就去大厅分发邮件吧
Mr. Ammer,Denise just called. She's gotta go to rehab again, so she can't make it to the Hamptons.
安莫先生, 狄妮丝打电话来说 她又得进烟毒勒戒所, 不能跟你去汉普敦
I'm gonna be alone on the Fourth of July?
国庆假日, 我得一个人过?
Mr. Ammer,if you need female companionship this weekend...
安莫先生, 如果周末你需要女伴
...my wife's friend Janine, wow.
我太太的朋友杰妮...哇~
Really?
真的?
What's she like?
她如何?
Let's just say
我只能说...
she will eat you up,sir.
她能生吞了你
Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt but this is kind of important.
对不起, 打扰, 这很重要
Okay.
嗯
[我能去上厕所吗?]
-Go to the bathroom. -Okay.
- 去吧! - 哦
Dude! You suck so bad.
搞啥? 你真蠢耶!
Do not. Hey, Dad.
我才不是, 嗨, 老爸
How you doing,buddy? Playing some catch?
嗨, 儿子, 玩接球吗?
Actually,we're playing some drop, because Ben hasn't caught one yet.
其实是玩掉球, 本到现在还没接过一球
Darn it.
可恶
You're a regular Derek Jeter yourself, O'Doyle.
哈~ 小子, 我看你也不怎样嘛
Love you,kid.
我爱你, 儿子
Love you too,Dad.
我也爱你, 老爸
Mommy!
妈咪!
No, I know.
我知道...
Well I thought she should've gotten voted off.
我觉得这样也好
But did you see her Kate Spade handbag? It was gorgeous.
我带孩子去看驼背鲸, 真漂亮
Wait,hold on a second,Trudy. I gotta say hi to your son.
等等, 别挂, 楚蒂 我得跟你儿子问声好
I told your parents to come for dinner.
我邀请你爸妈来玩两天
Really? That sounds good.
真的...好主意
It'd be fun for them to be here for the sleepover.
我想他们能来陪孩子们过夜, 一定很好玩
Okay, so great. Yeah. We'll see you guys later. Okay,bye-bye.
好, 说定咯, 到时候见, 拜拜
It's not gonna kill you to eat dinner with your family,sweetie.
和你家人吃个饭 不会要你的命啦, 老公
I know, I just gotta build an entire model tonight.
我知道, 但我今晚得把模型建好
-I'm the leader! -No, I'm the leader!
-我是队长! -不，我才是队长!
Go say hi to Daddy. Go on.
去跟爸爸问好, 快
I can't take a whole night of this.
要是整晚都这样, 我可受不了
And I'm not going to.
我也不想受
[快进下一段]
Cool.
酷
I can skip chapters.
我能跳过段落
What a family.
呵~ 好个家庭
All right,let's get dinner over with.
好啦, 快把晚餐吃完吧
Next.
下一段
Next.
下一段
Everyone's done but you,buddy.
只剩你一个还没吃完, 儿子
Let's go.
快吧
Will you stop already?
还没完啊!
Oh,boy,Dad's quarter trick.
要命, 老爸的铜板魔术
I can't wait not to see it.
我等不及了, 马上跳过不看
[跳过...播放]
Alone in my basement at last.
终于可以独自在地下室清静一下
Should I do my work and become partner now?
我该努力工作, 以成为老板的合伙人?
I think so.
当然咯
Let's get to it.
动工吧
-Michael? -Yo.
-迈可? -在呢
We don't wanna interrupt.
我们不想再打扰你
We're taking off. Thanks for a great night.
得走了, 谢谢今晚的盛情招待
You had a fun time hanging out with me?
你们玩得高兴...和我...对吧?
That was-- We did good,right?
我们招待的还好吗？
-Good night,honey. -Love you.
- 再见, 宝贝 - 我们爱你
My schmeckel got bigger now that I'm older,just so you guys know that.
我的小黄瓜随着年龄也长大了
-It couldn't have gotten any smaller. -HAHA
-反正不可能比原来更小 -哈~
Yeah,yeah.
哦~
It looked like a little Tic Tac.
以前像个小不点口香糖
Yeah,come here, I'll freshen your breath.
嗯~ 来让我替你除口臭
-Bye,you guys. -Bye,sweetie.
- 爸妈, 再见 - 再见, 宝贝
Good night,sweetie.
晚安, 宝贝
Great dinner, honey.
晚餐真棒, 老婆
See? Was that so bad?
瞧, 那很糟糕吗?
Kidding me? I had fun.
你说笑吧, 我高兴得很
Good for you.
好极了
Can you watch the gang for 10 minutes while I clean up?
能帮我看孩子十分钟吗? 我得清理一下
Can't you? I just-- I got so much stuff to do here.
自己看吧, 我很忙
Oh,you got stuff to do? I got ghost stories,charades the dishes...
哦, 你忙!? 我又讲故事, 又玩游戏, 还要洗碗
...and then I gotta sew the duck's head back on for Sundance and fix his butthole.
现在还得替阳阳把鸭鸭的头缝上 再把屁眼儿给补起来
Way to go,champ.
干得好, 你真行
I wish I had time to do all that stuff.
我还希望我有时间, 能做那么多事呢
Give me a break,Michael.
饶了我吧, 迈可
You're a big boy. You set your own priorities.
你是大人了, 做事懂得先后
I'm asking for 10 minutes, not for like,a whole day.
我只要你十分钟, 又不是一整天
You don't have to do that much. How big a deal is that? I am so tired of having this argument.
我也没闲着, 你这算什么, 咱们为何老是争吵...
I skipped the whole fight.
我跳过了整场吵架
Yeah!
好耶
Babe?
老公
I can't sleep.
我睡不着
You can't?
怎么啦?
I feel bad that we keep arguing.
咱们老是吵架, 让我很难过
I know. Don't be upset,okay?
我知道, 别难过, 好吗?
-I was a jerk. -You are a jerk.
- 是我不好 - 嗯, 你坏坏
-I love you. -I love you too.
- 我爱你 - 我也爱你
-Yes. That smells good. -What?
- 你好香 - 嗯
Michael. Stop it. The sleepover will catch us.
喂, 迈可, 停, 他们会听到
They ain't gonna hear us. Come on.
他们才听不到, 来吧
Okay. Quietly try and coax me into it.
好吧, 轻点声, 慢慢让我进入情况
I gotta get back to work. Can't we just do it?
我还有事, 难道不能就做吗?
No,we can't just do it. Honey,come on.
不, 不能这么快, 老公, 别这样
I mean, I don't have any new moves for you. It's the same stuff. Just think of last time and use that.
我没有新招式了, 都是千篇一律. 你就把上次的调情, 拿来算这次的, 拜托
I like the old moves. Come on.
我喜欢老方法, 来吧
All right.
好吧
This time you be Sundance I'll be the duck.
这次你当阳阳, 我当鸭鸭
Yeah?
好啊
But you gotta massage me first.
你得先爱抚我才成
Great,I love giving massages.
是哦, 我特喜欢爱抚你
Massaging away here.
正在爱抚
Oh,that feels good.
嗯...好舒服
Oh,yeah,yeah,yeah.
哦...就这样
We did it?
我们做了吗?
Well,you did.
是只有你做了吧
I didn't want the whole thing to go that fast.
我可没要全部的过程都这么快
I don't think anybody did.
谁都不会要这么快
Yeah. I'll get you next time.
哦...嗯...下次补偿你
Thanks.
谢谢
So we good for tomorrow?
明天没问题吧?
What are you talking about?
你说什么?
At dinner.
吃饭的时候
You said we'd go to lunch tomorrow and pick out your dad's birthday gift.
你说明天去和爸妈吃午餐, 你给爸买了生日礼物
Dad's gift is. Of course. I said so,so I'll be there.
我不记得爸礼物的事 既然说过, 我就一定会去
Okay.
好吧
-Need another massage or anything? -Oh,go away.
- 还要按摩或什么吗? - 不要, 你走吧
I gotta go work.
好啦, 我去做事了
[超越 / 莫提]
Hey,Morty. It's Michael Newman.
喂, 莫提, 我是迈可·纽曼
Yeah,can I talk to you for a minute?
我能和你谈谈吗?
Hang on for a second someone's at my door.
等一下, 有人敲我的门
Hello,Michael.
哈啰, 迈可
Where'd you come from?
你从哪儿蹦出来的?
You don't wanna know.
你最好不要知道
-Can we take a walk? -Sure.
- 能出去走走吗? - 当然
-It's simple. -Uh hum
- 原因很简单 - 嗯
You must have been on autopilot.
你一定设成自动导航
Autopilot?
自动导航?
-That's what happens to you when you fast-forward. -Okay.
- 你按了快进, 结果就会这样 - 哦
Yeah. I'll show you.
我示范给你看
Here.
这里.
See? That's you on autopilot.
瞧, 那是你, 自动导航模式运作
The lights are on but nobody's home.
灯开着, 却没人在家 (心不在焉之意)
The remote lets your mind skip around but your body actually stays put for the boring stuff.
你的思想跳过去了, 但身体还得熬时间
We should go to lunch tomorrow and pick out your dad's birthday gift.
老公, 明天我们和爸妈吃午餐 你替爸买了礼物
Sounds good.
好-主-意
So she did tell me.
她果然跟我说过
I'm having conversations on autopilot,then.
所以我在自动导航模式下和人说话
You're not gonna be the life of the party,but yes.
虽然你不是傀儡, 但你说是自动导航, 也没错啦
Everyone goes on autopilot now and then.
自动导航偶而会发生
The big difference is now you've got a nifty remote...
最大的差别是, 你有了万能遥控 你要什么时候就什么时候
This thing is the best.
这玩意儿太棒了
By the way,your wife? Absolutely gorgeous.
对了, 你太太真美
She is,isn't she?
她的确很美, 对吧?
Perfect face. Tight,rocking body.
完美的容貌, 身上完全没赘肉
You okay?
你没事吧?
Amazing.
真令人惊讶
What is?
什么事?
She fell for a schlub like you.
鲜花插在牛粪上
-I'm a schlub? -uh
- 我是牛粪? - 嗯
I don't know about that,pal. I see a good-looking man right there.
难说吧, 我瞧那家伙很英俊呀
-You wanna see what a stud I used to be? Yeah? -Sure
- 你想看他以前的模样吗? - 好呀
All right,let's take a look at some of the girls I used to fool around with before I met Donna.
那好, 让你瞧瞧我认识唐娜前和什么样的女孩子们约会
[第一位女友 - 克莉丝]
Is that a man or a woman?
男人还是女人?
It's a woman.
女人
[第一位酒醉后约会的对象 - 塔玛拉]
What is this Animal Planet?
啥!? 《动物星球》节目吗?
-Stop. -Yes.
- 算了吧 - 嗯
Sometimes it's better to keep certain memories just in your head.
有时...某些事物还是留在记忆深处较好
So I've learned,Morty. Good night. Thank you.
我又学到了, 谢谢你莫提, 晚安
Good night,Michael.
晚安, 迈可
I'm getting sick,man.
我好像病了
Fast-forward me till I'm better.
快进到我感觉好点儿的时候
Michael,honey,wake up.
迈可, 老公, 起床咯
You'll be late for work.
上班要迟到了
What? It's Monday already?
怎么? 星期一啦?
Are you kidding me? No more phlegm? I skipped an entire cold?
真搞! 不发烧了? 整个感冒都跳过了?
Thanks to you,baby!
感谢你, 宝贝
I love you! No more Tylenol!
我爱你, 感冒药也省了
I don't remember doing any work this weekend.
我不记得, 上周末做了什么?
But apparently I did.
显然我做好了
Bad news. There's no hot water.
老公, 坏消息, 没热水了
What? I gotta take a shower.
我得洗个澡耶
Well,you're gonna freeze your bun-buns off.
冻死你的小屁屁
It's all good.
有了这个, 万事通
Yes! Look at me.
好耶, 瞧瞧我
All showered and dressed and looking sexy. I like that. I--
洗好澡, 穿好衣服, 真性感, 我喜欢
Did you smoke crack,Daddy?
爹地, 你抽大麻了吗?
Just watch your toons and have a great day with Mommy today,okay?
看你的卡通, 和妈妈乖乖在家, 懂吗?
Eating cupcakes like your old man. Right here,baby.
你吃起甜点, 就像你老爸, 再见宝贝
-Dad? -Yes,sir?
- 爸 - 什么事?
Are you gonna have to work late again tonight?
你今天又得加班了吗?
Unfortunately, yes.
很不幸, 的确是
Is there anything we can do to help?
我们帮什么忙吗?
Well, I'm gonna be partner soon and I'm gonna need new building designs.
我快成了公司合伙人, 需要很多设计点子
So if you guys have any cool ideas draw them up for me.
如果你们有什么好点子, 就画给我吧
-Okay. -Okay.
- 好 - 好
Rock'n'roll.
干活儿去吧
-I get the paper. -I got the crayons.
- 我有纸 - 我有蜡笔
Would you stop talking and fix the sewer?
别聊了, 快干活儿吧!
# 大家都在看 #
# 看你在干嘛 #
# 大家都在...看你 #
You're on it now,yeah. Yeah.
你爽了吧, 好, 好
Traffic,traffic,no more traffic.
堵车, 堵车, 再没堵车
Wait a sec!
噢~ 等等
Here we go! Mama!
冲啊
Yeah! That's what I'm talking about,baby!
耶~ 哈~ 这才像话, 我的宝贝
You look a little pale there,pal. Let me fix that.
老兄, 你怎么脸色苍白, 我替你补救一下
[色彩]
Oh, look at you now. You're all yellow from the scurvy. Captain.
瞧你, 脸色泛黄. 船长, 一定是坏血病
Don't get the Hulk angry.
别惹毛绿巨人
You won't like him when he's angry.
他生气, 你就完蛋了
Oh,there's Barney.
紫恐龙巴尼来了
#I love you,you love me#
# 我爱你们 你们爱我 #
#That jogger had giant boobies#
# 慢跑的女郎有双大奶奶 #
Okay. Let's get you that tan you been searching for.
来点你想要的日晒黝色吧
That's it. That's it.
就这样, 就这样
Check out Julio lglesias...
朱利欧·伊格雷西亚斯 来啦(著名墨裔歌手)
Pretty.
帅呆了
-Looking good, Mr. Newman. -Really? Thank you very much,Judy.
- 真精神, 纽曼先生 - 真的? 谢谢你茱蒂
-Finish? -Did I finish?
- 完成了吗? - 我完成了吗?
I believe I finished.
呃...我想是
Let's see here. Look at that.
确定一下...瞧
Very impressive,Michael.
很好, 迈可
Yeah,the river in the lobby.
对呀, 我们在大厅
This is actually pretty good,man.
真的满不错
Where did you find the time to get a tan?
你还有时间去日光浴?
I guess I can do it all,sir.
我想...我全能
You can do it all.
你全能
All right,all right,everybody. It's sexual-harassment-speech day.
好啦, 大家注意, 今天是《性骚扰讲座》
Now,anyone can be a victim of sexual harassment:
[性骚扰不分性别] 每个人都可能成为性骚扰的受害者
Blue collar,white collar a woman, a man.
蓝领, 白领, 女人, 男人
Even the office slut. Not that I'm mentioning any names...
即使是办公室的荡妇 我还是...别说出名字来
...Stacy.
丝黛西
Here we go. Sexual harassment can come in many forms.
继续...性骚扰有很多种
[长宽比]
You see,what is hilarious to some, could be offensive to others.
有些行为某人喜欢, 却冒犯了其他人 [加宽]
Let me try to give you a real-life example because I'm sure I've done it.
让我给个实际的例子 我相信以前我也做过, 哈~
Like the day I said, " You want a promotion,break out the lotion. "
有次我对某人说, 你想要升迁 那就拿一升润滑液来吧
I was technically engaged in sexual harassment.
我不经意就犯了语言性骚扰
Hilarious sexual harassment if you ask me.
如果你问我什么是性骚扰, 我说这玩意儿好笑极了, 哈~
Now,there is also homosexual harassment.
同时...还有同性之间的性骚扰
Now, this is like when one dude comes up to another and says something cheeky.
比方男人向男人说些暧昧的话
This will be good.
[西班牙语] 这好玩
Which you do....
那么你就...
(西语)对他说, 请不要这样
(西语)哈~ 太有趣啦
(西语)有问题吗, 迈可?
(西语)没有, 请继续, 对不起打断你
(西语)哇~ 我居然说西语!
(西语)怎么啦?
(西语)没事儿
Proceed.
(英语)请继续
I don't know about you Americans...
我不知道你们美国人怎么认为, 但...
...but to me there is no doubt Ichiro is the greatest of all time.
我认为, 一郎绝对是有史以来最伟大的
-It's great. -Yeah,he's incredible.
- 太棒了 - 没错
-You gotta admit,you can always count on Matsui. -Oh,Matsui.
- 不得不承认, 松井最值得信赖 - 松井...对
Well, if you guys love Ichiro and Matsui so much,let's order them both.
如果大家都那么喜欢一郎和松井 那就两道菜都点吧
I'll eat anything.
点什么我都不介意, 呵~
Excuse us for a moment.
对不起, 我们失陪一下
Absolutely, Mr.Watsuhita.
没问题, 和津先生
See you guys in a bit.
一会儿见
Ichiro and Matsui are baseball players. You just insulted their national heroes.
一郎和松井是棒球明星 你刚污辱了他们的国家英雄
I'm going to the bathroom to slit my wrists.
我藉个尿遁以免再说错话
I'll be here.
这儿有我
(日语)这种无聊的会议有什么好开的
所以嘛, 我们就不该来这种狗屁会议
您说的是
[翻译成英语]
这两个笨蛋真无聊
These morons are so boring. They make me wanna chop my own dick off.
我抓狂到想拿把刀, 切掉自己的老二
That hotel design? I'd like to rip it up.
我真想把旅馆设计图撕了
Egghead watched a bad documentary on Asian architecture.
我想那自以为聪明的家伙 八成在看亚洲建筑时睡着了
Who needs a stupid river in the lobby? Let's build more rooms and maximize profits.
谁会要人工小溪穿过大厅 还不如多盖房间, 提升利润
Eat as fast as you can. Then we can get out of here...
大家尽快吃完, 然后离开这里
...and do Jell-O shots at America's greatest cultural achievement: T.G.l. Friday's.
再赶去最具美国文化风味的 " TGI星期五餐厅 "品尝烈酒果冻
T.G.l. Friday's!
TGI星期五!
All right,Michael,save us.
好了, 迈可, 就全靠你了
I'm all over it,baby.
没问题, 哥们儿
Before we order,
点菜之前...
I was looking at our proposal. You know what? After getting to know you
我重新看了一遍设计图 对大家有所了解之后
a little bit I realize this is not what you're about.
我意识到这设计并不适合你们
In fact,let's just throw it out,all right?
要我说, 还是撕了算了
Start from scratch.
从头开始
The river in the lobby idea what an egghead move.
大厅里的人工小溪, 多蠢的主意啊
Let's just keep the plans simple
设计应该简单化
forget all the niceties, maximize our revenue.
去掉多余无用的景观设施, 提升利润更重要
That's what it's all about anyways the profits.
利润才是关键
But do me a favor. Just give us your account and your trust.
你们尽管放心, 投入资金
That way we can get the hell out of this dump,go to T.G.l. Friday's...
这样的话, 大家都可以快点离开这里到TGI星期五餐厅, 去喝烈酒果冻
...do some Jell-O shots till this guy pukes up a lung.
直到那家伙酩酊大醉为止
Fuck,yeah.
真他妈的好耶!
That's what I'm talking about.
这才对嘛!
Yes, yes! The king is home! Hello,hello!
万岁, 万岁, 皇帝回宫了
How can you goons sleep when you know l got you presents?
我有礼物给你们, 怎么还能睡觉得着?
-You did? -What is it?
- 真的么? - 是什么?
What is it? Well,if you bring your tushies downstairs,we'll find out.
是什么啊? 带着你们的小屁屁下来看看就知道了
-I'm coming. -I'm coming.
- 就来 - 就来
Honey,get your sweet little buns downstairs too. Come on,come on!
亲爱的, 你也带着你的小屁屁快下楼来看看, 快, 快!
Come and get them.
快来试试吧
-Awesome! No way! -Yeah,yeah.
-棒极了! 绝对是！ -没错, 没错.
-it must have cost a million dollars! -That's chump change now. You guys deserve the best...
- 肯定要一百万元吧? - 小意思啦, 你们该得的
...and that's what you're gonna get from now on,okay?
从现在起, 你们要享受最好的
-What's all this? -Look who's here.
- 这是干嘛? - 哇, 看看是谁来了?
-You guys wanna ride these bikes? -Yeah!
- 你们想骑骑吗? - 想!
Let's take them outside! Wake the O'Doyles let them see what you got.
那还不骑出去 给隔壁那小子瞧瞧
-These are the coolest bikes in the whole town. -Kevin O'Doyle's gonna shit himself.
- 这是全镇最酷的单车 - 凯文·欧多尔定会惊呆了
-Don't think I forgot my beautiful wife. -Oh,my gosh.
-别以为我忘了我美丽的贤妻. -哦, 我的天那!
It's not a bike or a cowboy hat but you're gonna like this,I hope.
不是单车或牛仔帽 你会喜欢的, 我希望
-Oh,Michael,it's beautiful. -I heard you talking to my mother.
- 哇, 迈可, 真漂亮 - 我偷听到你跟我妈说的
-I love it! -You look good,baby.
- 我好喜欢 - 配你真好看, 宝贝
I got myself a celebratory cigar too. Why not?
我也为自己买了庆祝用的雪茄
What are we celebrating?
我们要庆祝什么?
" What are we celebrating? "
庆祝什么?
We're healthy,we got a great family...
我们都健康, 有个美好的家庭
...I'm Ammer's newest partner--
我是老板最新入股的合伙人
Oh, my God, you're kidding! Honey,congratulations!
哦, 天哪, 不是开玩笑吧?
I knew it! I knew you'd be psyched! I love it! I love you!
啊, 哈哈, 我就知道你会很兴奋. 我爱这样, 我也爱你
I single-handedly landed the Watsuhita account.
我单枪匹马揽到了日本人的生意
That's incredible.
那真太棒了
I knew it was gonna be a great day. l heard our song on the radio.
我就知道今天会有惊喜的 今早我在广播里听到我们的歌了
We have a song?
我们的歌?
Honey.
亲爱的?
The song that was playing during our first kiss.
我们初吻时的歌
Come on. You're kidding me,right?
拜托, 你是不是又在逗我?
I know our song. Our song. Of course I know our song. Our song is....
我知道那首歌, 我们的歌 当然知道, 是...
What the hell was that song?
到底是什么歌?
I remember this place. And--
我记得这地方, 还有...
Oh,my God. Wolverine's goofy cousin.
天哪, 金刚狼的痴呆表亲
But look at you. Wow.
看看你
You are out of his league,aren't you?
你就是他的女神不是吗?
[初吻时刻? ]
Oh,yeah,the notes.
对了, 纸条
Smooth,buddy.
真有你的, 老兄
[早晨醒来时你还会爱我吗? ]
Oh, look at her.
哦, 哦, 看看她
What's gonna happen? You got an answer to that?
你应该如何回应才好呢?
Okay. Seal the deal,pal.
搞定它, 老兄
[一生一世, 宝贝]
All she's thinking about is, " I am not kissing that beard. "
她一定在想 "绝对不要亲那大胡子"
Absolutely not, that's gonna hurt me.
绝对不要, 肯定很疼
Wait a minute.
好么?
Yeah,Newman. Get it.
是的, 亲上去, 亲啊
Yeah.
耶.
#你知道我为你痴狂#
Donna! Donna.
唐娜! 唐娜!
Oh,my God. I'm so horny now.
哦, 我的天 我要发骚了
Oh,God, I'm not. Get me out of here.
够了, 该回去了
" Linger " by The Cranberries
" 红莓合唱团 "的" 逗留 "
was playing during our first juicy kiss.
就是我们初吻时的歌
And, my God, you looked beautiful in that pink sweater you were wearing.
天哪, 你穿那件粉色的上衣太美了
Honey, you remember what I was wearing?
哦, 亲爱的你记得我的穿着
Of course. I remember what Janine was wearing. She scared the shit out of me then.
当然我还记得杰妮的穿着 吓得我屁滚尿流
I love you.
我爱你
I love you too,honey.
我也爱你, 亲爱的
Hi, Mr.Newman.
早上好, 纽曼先生
Right this way,Michael.
跟我来
Hey, my new star. Congratulations. Sit down, big guy.
嘿, 我的新星. 恭喜你, 坐
All right. I am a little tired. The family was up late last night celebrating.
我有点累 昨晚我们全家庆祝到很晚
You really knocked one out of the park last night,didn't you?
你昨晚真是神了
Hey, you were great too.
你也一样
All you gotta do is draw up the construction plans. If Watsuhita commits to the bulk of the funds...
现在只要完成结构设计图, 一旦他们第一笔投资到位
...I'm looking at my new partner.
你就可以成为我的合伙人了
I thought I was already your partner.
我还以为我已经是你合伙人了
Whoa,cowboy. I said, " Land the Watsuhita account you'll get promoted. "
喔, 牛仔 我说做成日本人交易, 你会升职
I didn't mean right this second.
我没有说立即
But I already told my wife,sir.
但我已经告诉我妻子了, 老板
I spent money I don't have. To do these documents is gonna take me months.
我花了我还没有挣来的钱 完成结构设计图要用好几个月
Then you better get started.
那你应该尽快开工咯
Wow, I just got a big headache!
哇! 我的头突然一阵剧痛
-Was I hit by a train or something? -I didn't see anything.
- 被火车撞了还是什么? - 我什么都没看到啊
I forgot to tell you. I hung out with your friend Janine this weekend.
对了, 忘了说了. 我周末和你朋友杰妮约会了
I hope she's doing your brother right now,you big-headed buffoon.
我咒她现在跟你弟弟乱搞, 自大狂
No,no,no. You got more.
不不不, 还有, 再来点
Yeah.
爽
Anyway, the sooner you get back to work...
你越早... 做完工作...
...the sooner you'll be partnerized.
就越早... 成为合伙人
I taste shit.
我好像吃了屎
You do?
是吗?
Stacy! Did you put shit in my lunch?
史黛茜, 你是不是... 在我午饭里放了屎?
I'm gonna get going now,sir.
我该走了, 老板
Stacy!
史黛茜!
Have you considered the consequences of the thing you're thinking about doing?
你有没有想过你的行为会导致什么后果?
Yeah. What are you saying, I shouldn't do it?
当然! 你是说我不该做吗?
It's your life. What you do with the remote is your decision,Michael.
这是你的人生 你决定如何使用这遥控器, 迈可
I know,so, I mean,we're talking a couple of months here.
我知道, 我才用了几个月
I fast-forward through it what am I gonna miss? Thirty arguments and a haircut?
快进一些会错过什么? 卅次争吵外加剪一次头发?
Remember the leprechaun?
记得阿普立刚那个小妖精么?
The one from the cereal ad.
从麦片岛来的
" They're magically delicious. " That guy?
走火入魔的那个家伙?
He's always chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
他为追一罐金子, 走遍天涯海角
But when he gets there at the end of the day...
最后找到那里时
...it's just corn flakes.
却发现里面都是麦片
Hum?
什么意思啊?
-Michael. -Yes.
-迈可? -什么
You don't understand the metaphor?
你难道不明白这其中的暗喻吗?
I won't do it, all right.
我不会滥用的, 放心吧?
-Dad? -Yeah.
-爸爸? - 干嘛?
We have some designs for you.
我们帮你做了设计
-It's not a good time,man. -Maybe they'll help you finish quicker.
- 现在不是时候 - 或许能帮你快点完成
All right. You want me to look at it? Let me see.
要我看看是吗? 给我
The ceiling's too high the hallway's too narrow stairway placement makes no sense at all.
屋顶太高了, 走道太窄 楼梯位置毫无意义
-What the hell's this room made of? -Pizza.
- 这间屋子是什么做的? - 比萨
Well,it's stupid. Next. What is yours made of?
真蠢, 下一个, 你的是什么做的?
Pickles.
腌菜
Oh,don't be a baby.
哦, 少跟我来这套
Michael, have you lost your mind?
迈可, 你疯了吗?
He's 7 years old. If he wants a playroom made of pizza then why not?
他才7岁, 他想要个比萨屋又何尝不可?
Maybe he's gotta grow up sometime and get the hell off Fantasy lsland.
他总要长大, 离开那幻想岛
Hey, pizza boy. Life ain't about being creative. It's about kissing ass, playing it safe,
喂, 比萨男孩, 生活并不需要创意, 而是拍马屁, 守本分
making your boss a lot of money in hopes one day he might throw you a stinking bone. All right?
是为老板拼死拼活赚钱, 眼巴巴的等着 有朝一日他能分给你点什么, 懂了吗?
Yes,sir.
懂了
Ammer didn't make you partner,did he?
安莫并没让你做合伙人是不是?
Oh,honey, I'm so sorry.
亲爱的, 我很遗憾
But we'll get through this,okay? I promise.
我们会熬过去的, 我保证
Jeez! Man, that's all we ever do is get through it.
天哪, 我们还要熬?
When is it gonna end?
什么时候才能熬到头?
Pretty sweet,eh? Two queen beds,full kitchen,steam shower...
不错吧! 2张皇后床, 厨房, 蒸汽浴...
-...and satellite TV with surround sound. -Why are you always trying to hurt me?
- 立体声的卫星电视 - 为什么你总要刺激我?
One day l'm gonna hurt you back.
有一天我会报仇的
Michael Newman, I didn't know you smoked cigars.
迈可·纽曼 我不知道你也抽雪茄
And now's the time.
时候到了
No, Kathy, this isn't mine. I took it out of Kevin's hands.
不, 凯西, 这不是我的. 是我从凯文手里抢下来的
Yeah,he was smoking like a chimney.
他刚才抽得像个大烟囱
No, I wasn't!
我没有
I think I smell marijuana in it.
我好像还闻到大麻味了
Kevin O'Doyle, you get your ass in this house right now!
凯文·欧多尔 你给我马上滚进来!
-I hate you. -Are you deaf? Move it! I don't wanna have to ask you again!
- 我恨你 - 没听到吗, 滚进来!
Dope is for dopes,buddy!
毒品是给蠢蛋玩的
Get your ass in this house!
给我滚进来！
We don't have any other choice,guys.
我们没有其它选择.
No fair! I don't wanna return my bike!
不, 我不想把自行车还掉
We have to,honey.
我们是不得已的, 亲爱的
But Daddy gave them to us!
这是爸爸给我的
Because he loves you. Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at Daddy's work.
爸爸是爱你的, 但不幸的是 爸爸工作上有点麻烦
We need to bring the bikes back for now.
我们现在暂时需要把自行车还回去
But I already told Kevin O'Doyle I got a new bike.
但我已经跟凯文说了我有新自行车了
Well, we can paint my old bike and make it look new.
可以把我的旧车刷一层油漆啊, 看起来和新的不会有什么两样
That's a girl's bike. All the kids will make fun of me. No! I wanna keep my bike!
但那是女式车, 凯文会笑话我的 我不要!
I can't take this anymore.
我再也受不了了
Fast-forward me to my promotion.
快进到我晋升后
So here's to Michael Newman the greatest partner I could ever dream of.
敬迈可·纽曼 我梦寐以求的合伙人
Hear,hear!
干杯
Thank you. Thank you,guys.
谢谢, 谢谢大家
My family thanks you.
我的家人谢谢大家
I'm gonna do the best I can and I won't let you down, I promise.
我会尽最大努力 不会为大家失望的, 我保证
Yeah!
干杯
-Congratulations, Mr. Newman. -This is great. Thank you.
-恭喜你, 纽曼先生. -谢谢.
How's it feel,killer?
感觉如何, 成功家
Feels incredible,sir.
感觉太棒了
Well,you earned it. I'm telling you. Not just because of that Watsuhita project either.
你独自搞定了日本人的合同
For helping me pick up the slack now I'm spending time with my lady.
我才有时间能和我的最爱温馨一下
Hey,Dinkie.
嘿, 小家伙
Are you kidding me? You guys have been dating a couple months now? That's pretty huge for this one.
真逗, 已经拍拖了几个月 对她来说真不简单
No,the first few months were easy.
不, 开始几个月很顺
It was the one-year hump that was the tough part.
不过一年之关真是不容易过
Her inappropriate weekend with my brother in Cabo well,that was a potential speed bump.
她, 在一个不幸的周末和我弟弟卡伯... 对我们打击很大
But, well,Dr. Bergman helped us work through it,didn't he,honey?
幸亏有布尔本医生的帮忙 现在已经解决了
How's he doing for you and Donna?
你和唐娜的疗程怎么样了?
Dr. Bergman. What do you mean?
布尔本医生? 什么意思?
Oh, you know what,sweetie? It's none of our business.
哦, 亲爱的, 那不关我们的事
Let's let Michael bask in his glory.
还是让迈可沉浸在成功的喜悦中
-Cheers. -Bask away,partner.
- 干杯 - 好好享受, 合伙人
Took that bastard a year to promote me?
那混账一年后才升我!
What else did I miss? Shit.
我还错过了什么?
Need something,Mr. Newman?
您要什么吗, 纽曼先生
Who are you?
你是谁?
Kirsten, your assistant.
克莉丝汀, 你的助手?
What happened to Alice?
爱丽丝怎么了?
She moved to Accounting. Couldn't handle your hours.
她去会计部了 做你助手太累了
And she prefers to be called Alan now. Remember?
她现在叫艾伦了, 不记得了?
No. No.
不! 不!
No! And who the hell's Dr. Bergman?
还有他妈的布尔本医生到底是谁?
And I feel like Michael's making no effort to connect with me at all.
我觉得迈可根本就不花心思交流
No,no. I want to. I want to. lt's-- I'm on autopilot.
不不, 我想的 但我在自动导航模式上
" I'm on autopilot. " More like auto-zombie.
自动导航, 行尸走肉还差不多
Good one,Donna.
说的好, 唐娜!
" Good one,Donna "?
说的好, 唐娜?
Michael,relax.
迈可, 冷静
Who is this bigmouth? Why can't you and I just talk?
这大嘴巴是谁啊? 为什么我们不能单独谈谈?
Why? Because there is no talking to you.
什么! 因为我没办法跟你沟通!
You're never home to talk to. And when you are, you're just sitting there staring off into space.
你从来不回家, 要不就是坐在那儿瞪着桌子!
Donna. I'm on autopilot.
唐娜, 我是在自动导航!
What do you want from me?
该死的, 你想怎么样?
This is what happens. He's gonna answer his phone.
总是这样, 天哪 他竟然不接电话
What the heck happened? I didn't even touch the remote.
发生什么事了? 我没动它啊!
Great,you gonna start watching TV at dinner?
现在要在吃饭时看电视了?
Oh,can we?
哦, 可以吗?
Samantha. My little angel.
珊, 我的小天使
Look at you. Look how long your hair's getting.
看看你, 头发长长
When did you grow up? Ben,get over here.
你也长大了! 快过来!
Don't worry. I'm not gonna work tonight. Watch Dragon Tales together. What do you say?
别担心, 我今晚不工作了 我们一起看龙尾零号, 怎么样?
Dragon Tales is for babies, Dad.
龙尾零号是给小孩子看的
I wanna watch CSI.
我要看犯罪现场调查
Yeah, CSI.
没错, 犯罪现场调查
It's the episode when they find the lady's arm.
今天是说他们找到最后一个女的手臂...
What happened? I missed the whole Dragon Tales era?
发生什么事了? 我错过了龙尾零号了?
Whoa
天哪
Hey,hello.
喂, 你
What are you doing? Come here! Give me my Twinkie!
搞什么搞? 把甜点还给我
Get back here,you freaking gremlin!
给我回来
Don't yell at Peanut because he found your Twinkie stash.
别对花生米吼, 不过就是甜点么
Who's Peanut? Where's Sundance?
花生米是谁? 阳阳呢?
Don't mention Sundance. The kids just stopped crying.
别提阳阳, 孩子们会哭的
About what? Why? What happened?
怎么了? 发生什么事了?
He died?
它死了!
Oh,no,no,no. Oh,no.
哦, 不, 不, 不
The stupid idiot and soft fur.
你这笨蛋...
Daddy held it in so long.
爸爸忍很久了...
He was the best dog! He's finally letting himself feel it.
终于发泄出来了
One night when the duck's head was off he tried to hump my leg and l didn't let him...
那天晚上它把鸭头咬了下来 它想扑我的腿, 但我没陪他玩
...and l should've and l'm sorry. What an idiot.
我真该让它... 太狠心了我
-lt's okay,it's okay. -What the heck did l do?
- 没事的, 没事了 - 我到底都作了些什么啊?
I love you. Do you still love me?
我爱你, 你还爱我吗?
Oh,Michael. It's been.... I'm really confused.
哦, 迈可. 已经很久了... 我都已经习惯了
No,no,no. I'll change,okay?
不不, 我会改的, 好吗?
I'll be a better man,I promise. Don't go,don't go. I'll stop working so much,okay?
我会变成个好男人, 别离开我
I'll be with you. Just stay with me.
我会改的, 不要离开我, 好不好
Oh,my God,it didn't take the duck long to get over Sundance.
天啊, 鸭鸭这么快就忘记阳阳了
It's a little deviant but it's kind of turning me on.
也许我太不正常 但这让我觉得很性奋
Yeah,well,let's kiss and make up.
是吗? 那我们来温馨一下
No. No! It's not my fault.
不! 不! 不是我的错!
-It jumped on its own. I didn't even hit the button. -Not even close.
- 它自动跳过了, 我没有按键 - 哦, 我一点感觉都没有
Yes?
喂?
You scared-
你吓到我了
Honey,what's going on down there?
亲爱的, 下面怎么了?
It's all right! I-- There was a mouse! I killed it!
没事, 我...有只老鼠
It's dead! But it broke the table first!
被我干掉了 但它先毁了桌子
How did you get in here?
你怎么进来的?
I had a feeling you wanted to see me.
我觉得你想来见我
I'm freaking out. This thing,it's broken.
我很奇怪 这东西, 这东西坏了
It's just-- It's fast-forwarding on its own now.
它自己快进
It's not a malfunction, it's a feature. It's using its memory to execute your preferences.
这不是系统故障, 是一项功能 凭记忆来执行你喜欢的方式
It remembers stuff? What do you mean?
凭记忆, 喜欢的方式? 都什么意思啊?
It's an advanced piece of equipment like TiVo. You could call it MeVo.
是一项超新技术, 好像数字录像机一样 你也可以管他叫"恶魔"
I fast-forwarded through sex one time I don't wanna skip it forever.
我只快进做爱一次 我不想永远跳过
I like sex. It feels good.
我喜欢做爱, 感觉很好
Correct me if I'm wrong,but you fast-forwarded through an entire year. That's a lot of sex.
如果我没说错的话, 你快进了整整一年了 做过好多次爱了
Put it all together,that's like 30 minutes' worth for you.
加在一起差不多30分钟左右
Oh,no,no. So what,everything l fast-forwarded it's gonna do it on its own now?
不, 不, 那以前快进的行为 现在都会默认执行?
Pretty much.
差不多是
No more showering,no more traffic.
不再有梳洗和交通堵塞
No more arguing. No more sickness.
没有争吵和疾病
This is bad, this is bad.
不行, 这太糟了 你还是拿回去吧
-You take it back I'm deactivating my service. -No. Come on.
- 我不要这服务了 - 不行, 不行
I quit, I quit. Thanks for everything, all right, but I--
我不要了, 谢谢你 行吗?
Yeah.
没错.
You.... This is not....
你... 怎么会...
Don't be mean.
别这么残忍
Nice hat.
帽子不错
No,no,no.
不, 不, 不
Get away from me. Just get away. Get away. Leave me alone.
走开, 别烦我
Is this a stickup? Or are you just happy?
哦, 你裤子里有什么东西么? 还是你性奋了?
Yeah? I'm gonna take my clothes off,then--
是吗? 我脱光衣服 看它还怎么办?
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
如果我是你， 我就不会
There's only one place left for it to pop up.
脱了, 就剩下一个能冒出来的地方了
Oh. No,no, I don't want that.
哦, 不, 不 那还是不脱了
Come on,man.
拜托, 伙计
I told you,this item is nonreturnable.
我当初告诉过你 这东西是不能退货的
Come on,just take it.
好了, 拿走吧
Until we meet again.
下次再说
Don't do that. Come on,Morty. How do l get it to stop fast-forwarding?
别这样, 莫提 我怎么才能不让这东西快进? !
-Morning,sweetie. -Yeah.
- 早, 亲爱的 - 嗯
-You wanna shower first? -Yeah.
- 你要先淋浴吗? - 好
Yeah. No! I can't shower because then I'll fast-forward.
不, 我不能淋浴 不然就会快进的
And if I fast-forward,who knows how long I'll fast-forward for.
如果快进了，谁知道它会快进到什么时候
How's this? I'm gonna rough it today,like in the Old West. Okay?
不如这样, 我骑车过去 就像以前好吗?
Donna, I wanna tell you what's going on right now so bad...
唐娜, 我非常想告诉你到底都发生了什么
...but it might lead to an argument.
但我看那样会导致争吵
We can't argue because off I'll go.
我们不能吵, 不然时间就" 滋 "的飞了
So just know there is a problem.
我意识到现在有个难题 我正在想办法解决
I tried to get rid of the problem, it almost ended up in my ass.
为这个我想了一整夜, 结果肛门差点不保
I'm gonna go to work and try to figure this out.
我先去上班了, 我一定会想出办法的
-You're going to work in your bathrobe? -Honey. We can't argue,okay? No more arguing.
- 你要穿这浴袍去上班? - 哦, 嘘, 亲爱的, 我们不能吵的, 不能吵
You're right. I'm wrong. All the time. You want a kiss?
你说得对, 是我的错 都是我的错, 好吗? 要亲一下吗?
-I'll take a kiss. -I can't. lf I give you a kiss...
- 那就亲一下 - 不不, 我不能亲因为我一亲你
...it might lead to something else, then...three minutes goes by.
可能又要... 然后又是" 滋 "的三分钟没了
You're laying there disappointed I'm smiling.
之后你就又会失望地躺在那儿 我会又觉得自己像个傻子
I wanna be with you every minute of my life,that's why I gotta leave now.
我想跟你好好度过每一分钟 所以我必须走了
Have a great day!
过得开心
Once again, Michael left Donna in bed confused and unsatisfied.
" 又一次, 唐娜迷茫地且失望地坐在床上 "
Shut up,James Earl Jones!
闭嘴, 詹姆斯·琼斯
No, you shut up, big mouth!
不, 你闭嘴, 大嘴巴
-Michael! -AH
- 迈可 - 啊
Mr. Ammer is here
艾蒙先生在这里
Your first day as a partner, you come to work in a fricking bathrobe?
第一天以合伙人的身份上班 你竟然穿着一身浴袍?!
I did. I did. John, I just feel we should stop wasting our energy...
是啊, 是啊, 我只是觉得我们不该把时间浪费在穿着
...on corporate brown-nosing and worrying who's got the better suit. Armani, Calvin Klein, who cares?
讨论谁的西装好看, 阿玛尼, CK 谁在乎?
Let's concentrate on what really matters,the work.
还是把精力放在工作上, 这才是重点
That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.
这是我听到的最疯狂的话
But goddamn it, you're right.
但他妈的, 你说得对
Life-changing. I feel freer.
改变生活习惯! 我有点怕怕
Yeah-- Keep the pants on.
裤子就别脱了
Sexual harassment, eh?
哦, 性骚扰, 是啊
Speaking of life-changing there's something,or actually someone, I'd like to talk to you about.
说到改变生活, 有一件事. 更准确的说是一个人我要跟你谈谈
-Janine. -Everything okay?
- 杰妮 - 你们还好吗?
Michael,Janine and I decided to drop out of the rat race...
迈可, 杰妮和我决定不再和爱情赛跑?
...slow down, move to Morocco.
放慢脚步, 移居摩洛哥
-Morocco? -Morocco.
- 摩洛哥? - 摩洛哥
Okay.
好啊
Eric Lamensoff will assume my day-to-day responsibilities...
埃里克·兰门邵夫即将负责我的日常事务
...and I'd like you to take his job.
我想让你做他现在的位置
But Eric Lamensoff is the head of the whole international division.
埃里克.兰门邵夫是国际策划部主管
-I've been your partner one day. -So?
- 我才做了你合伙人一天 - 那有何妨?
Every account you worked on turned into gold.
你做的每个项目都成了金蛋
You know,I wouldn't be surprised if one day you ended up being our CEO.
早晚一天你会成为执行总裁
Hey, I would love for that to happen,but--
嘿, 我当然也希望能, 但...
No! No,no,no! I don't want a promotion!
不, 不, 不, 不! 我不要升职!
No!
不!
Michael,you have a phone call.
" 迈可, 你有电话 "
Michael Newman.
迈可·纽曼
Word up, big guy.
怎么样了, 大块头?
Ten years ago you told me you wanted to be CEO.
十年前你说你要做执行总裁
Great news. Eric Lamensoff killed himself.
好消息啊, 埃里克·兰门邵夫自杀了
So you better stop with the junk food, Mr.Chairman...
别再吃垃圾食品了, 总裁先生
...or you'll end up killing yourself too.
不然你也快归西了
Opening virtual blinds.
打开虚拟窗帘
Ten years? How much worse can things get?
十年了? 我惨得不能再惨了
Oh, my God, I'm a fat guy!
哦, 我的天, 我是只肥猪
Look at me.
看看我啊
What is this? This is titties.
这是什么? 奶子?
l got juicy titties!
好肥的奶子啊
What-- What is that? Oh,God,no.
那是什么? 哦, 天啊
Just take me home.
带我回家算了
This is 10 10 WINS news. February 5th,2017.
现在是新闻 2月5日 2017年
Britney Spears had her 23rd baby today.
小甜甜生了第23个孩子
Proud father Kevin Federline says he's now considering getting a job.
祖父凯文·菲德兰说他考虑找一份工作 （小甜甜的丈夫）
Also,Michael Jackson, the first man to clone himself is now suing himself for molesting himself.
迈可·杰克逊, 史上第一个克隆人 控告自己性骚扰自己
Donna! Donna!
唐娜! 唐娜!
Can I help you?
你是谁?
Hey,Dad.
嘿, 老爸
" Hey,Dad "?
嘿, 老爸?
Ben? That's you?
本? 是你?
Look how big you got. You're enormous.
看看你长多大了, 体型好庞大
Look who's talking,Captain Twinkie of the S.S. Fat-Ass!
你凭什么教训我, 成天吃甜点的肥猪
Really good for my self-esteem.
你这一席话对我 树立自信心很有帮助!
Maybe if you would take me to Pilates like you said...
如果你带我去健身房 就像你当初保证的那样
...people wouldn't think l was Rosie O'Donnell!
别人就不会以为我是同人肥婆
Come on,I love you!
别这样, 我爱你的
Bring me back the Twinkies!
把甜点放回去
Will you please stop yelling? It is so embarrassing.
老爸, 你能不能不要大声嚷嚷 太丢人了
Is that my daughter?
你是我女儿?
Mom, I'm going to Derek's!
妈, 我去迪瑞克家了
That's you,Samantha?
是你? 珊?
-When did you get boobs? -The same time you did,Dad.
- 你的胸啥时候发育的? - 和你的一起长大的啊, 老爸
-Now can I go? -Whoa,whoa,whoa. Who the hell's this Derek guy?
- 我能走了吗? - 谁是迪瑞克?
My boyfriend, the hottest boy in school,hello?
怎么了? 我男朋友啊 学校最火的男生, 不记得了?
He's gonna be hot when I burn his house down.
我去把他家烧了 让他火
Get your ass upstairs put normal clothes on.
快回房间, 换件像样的衣服
Why are you so mean to me?
你为什么总是对我这么凶?
Get them on now! And wipe off all that makeup!
快换衣服去! 把那妆给我擦了!
Right!
恨你!
Is Peanut dead too?
花生米也死了?
This one's got the duck doing all the work.
这家伙让鸭鸭坐上面了
Donna. Donna. Donna.
唐娜! 唐娜! 唐娜!
Goddamn it.
该死
Look how gorgeous you look. I'm so scared.
我好想你 我好害怕
Knock,knock,gang.
我回来了
Hey,sweetie.
嘿, 亲爱的
What's going on?
发生什么事了?
Donna and I were gonna get hot chocolate. You want us to bring you one?
唐娜和我要去喝热巧克力, 要帮你带一杯吗?
You cheating on me? With Johnny G-String over here?
你给我戴绿帽子? 跟这个" 丁字裤男生 "?
Come on. Time-out. I thought we were past that.
好了, 别闹了. 不都是过去的事了么
No,no,no, we're past this argument.
不不不, 不会过去的
No, you're right,no big deal.
你还好吗? 没事吧?
Hey, it's just that you don't mess with another man's wife!
还好 你胆敢动我的老婆!
-you don't mess my wife! -Michael! Stop it! Stop it,Michael!
- 别碰我的老婆 - 迈可, 住手! 住手, 迈可!
It was your decision to move out! So stay out!
是你自己决定搬出去不回家的!
Get off me! You sticking up for him?
别打我, 你竟然帮他说话
Go away! Go away!
滚出去, 滚出去!
I hate you! I hate you!
我恨你! 我恨你!
-We can't argue! Donna,please! -I hate you! I hate you!
-我们不能吵架! 唐娜, 拜托! -我恨你! 我恨你!
Oh,man! You hate me?
哦, 老天! 你恨我吗?!
No. No. Ten years, you're not finished yet?
不, 不, 10年了, 还没修好?
Morty! Why did you do this to me?
莫提! 为什么? 为什么要这么对我?
You did this to yourself, Michael.
一切都是你自己的选择啊 迈可
No. No, I didn't wanna waste all that time.
不, 不, 我不想失去这些时光
I didn't wanna lose Donna!
也不想失去唐娜
The remote goes by your behavior.
遥控器根据你的行为默认操作
Every time you had a conflict between work and home,work won.
无论任何事情, 一旦和工作产生冲突, 工作总会成为首选
No,not true.
不, 不是真的
Lie to your wife. Lie to yourself. But you cannot lie to the remote.
你可以骗你自己, 骗你老婆 但骗不了遥控器
The remote is lie-proof,
这遥控器能辨识谎言
so you can't change what already happened. But you're still a young man.
你不能改变过去的事, 但你还年轻
A young, fat man. You could win Donna back.
年轻的肥仔 还可以把唐娜抢回来
So that's what I'll do.
那我得快点
Go for it,tubs.
加油, 肥仔
I saw what you did to the duck. Very good. Nice work.
我看见你跟那鸭鸭的姿势 真有你的
You'll feel that in a second.
等会儿疼死你
All right,please,please just read my note.
唐娜, 求你, 求你看我的字条
hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
我恨你! 我恨你! 我恨你!
Michael, are you awake?
迈可, 你醒了吗?
Michael, honey. Are you awake?
迈可, 亲爱的, 醒了吗?
Donna.
唐娜
Where'd all my fat go?
我的脂肪都哪里去了?
It was just a dream?
哦, 我在做梦吗?
-A terrible terrible dream. -What's that,Michael? You had a bad dream?
- 噩梦吗? - 怎么了, 迈可你做噩梦了?
-Did a fuzzy dog push me over? -Oh,Shaggy the miracle dog? Yeah,if he hadn't knocked you
- 我记得那狗把我推倒 - 哦, " 小杂毛 ", 要不是它把你推倒
on your noggin...you wouldn't have had the CAT scan that found the cancer before it spread.
你也不会在扫描中发现问题 及时阻止你的癌细胞扩散
-I have cancer? -No,you had cancer.
- 我得了癌症? - 你得过癌症
You're the only person to gain weight during chemo. That's probably what caused your heart attack.
你是世上唯一因化疗而增肥的人 结果导致你心脏病发作
-Heart attack? -I thought they weaned you off the morphine.
- 心脏病? - 我记得他们已经停止对你使用吗啡了
Okay,Mr. Junk Food since the injury, you haven't been healthy a full day.
好了, 快餐先生自从那次脑震荡, 你没有一天健康
-When exactly did l hurt my head? -When was it? Like,six years ago?
- 我什么时候脑震荡来着? - 让我想想, 大概有6年了吧
Six more years! No! No! It skipped all my sickness.
又是6年! 不, 不! 它自动跳过了疾病!
-I'm gonna ask them to cut back on painkillers. -Donna,don't go.
- 我去跟他们说别再给你止痛剂了 - 唐娜, 别走
What's this?
这是什么?
That's not bad for your third liposuction.
3次抽脂手术之后 这应该算不错了
One more tummy tuck should take care of it.
再来一次切除就行了
Oh,it looks like a tongue licking.
我看上去像个大舌头 还舔啊舔的
Look,I should go. Bill's waiting for me downstairs. So I'll probably--
我该走了, 比尔还在楼下等我呢
Bill?
比尔?
You're still with Speedo Torpedo?
你还和那" 游泳裤 "在一起?
-Whatever happened to " forever and ever," honey? -" Forever and ever "?
- 那" 一生一世, 宝贝 "的承诺呢? 亲爱的? - 永永远远?
Look, Michael, I'm trying to have a civilized relationship with you for the kids' sake.
听好, 迈克, 我看在孩子的份上 我已经尽力维持我们的关系了
I really wanna be friends but I can't do that if you--
我很想做朋友, 但我做不到...
-Would you stop flapping that thing? -It's my flap, I'll do whatever the hell I want with it!
- 你能不能别甩那个了 - 这是我的肥肉, 我想甩就甩
You done?
好了没?
Look, Bill's my husband. Please learn to accept that. I really have to go.
听着, 比尔是我丈夫. 拜托你接受现实, 我得走了
Husband? Donna? No. Donna. Donna. Donna!
丈夫? 不! 唐娜! 唐娜! 唐娜!
Welcome to Newman Architecture.
欢迎来到纽曼建筑.
Building a better world for all of us.
为我们建设更美好的世界.
Architect of the year,2018.
年度最佳建筑师
All your dreams came true, huh,moron?
你的梦想都实现了吧? 你个傻瓜
Dad. Hey, how you feeling?
老爸, 嘿! 你好吗?
Benjamin.
本杰明?
-Look at that. -Look-- What?
- 看看你呀 - 看什么?
Your face. Your skinny face. You're shaving now,huh,kid?
你的脸, 瘦瘦的脸蛋 还剃胡子了!
Your entire ass is gone. What happened? Good for you.
大屁股也没了 怎么做到的? 太好了
Right, my ass. Why don't we talk about it in my office.
嗯, 我的屁股 为什么不去我的办公室谈谈?
My old office.
这是我以前的办公室
The architect. How did this happen?
啊, 建筑师, 你怎么做到的?
-Mom said you were still a little loopy. -No,no,no. I'm feeling terrific.
- 妈妈说你还有点糊涂 - 不不, 我很好
The weight. How did you do it?
那脂肪, 你怎么去掉的?
Staple treatment like your old man? Wanna have a flap fight? You gotta see this--
和你爸一样做抽脂手术? 想不想打肚皮仗? 让你看看我的...
No. Just working out with Bill five times a week. Same as always.
不, 和比尔去健身一周五次 一直这样
That's a looker. Blondie,big lips. Chesty. Is that your girl?
好漂亮, 金发, 性感嘴唇, 大胸 是你女朋友?
-No,that's your daughter Samantha. -Of course it is.
- 不, 那是你女儿, 珊 - 当然是
And you better always take care of her and make sure nobody touches her except you.
你一定要照顾她 确保没其他人碰她, 除了你
-Pop, I'm just getting ready for this meeting. -Okay. Absolutely. I'll take off for you.
- 爸, 我得参加下一个会议 - 哦, 对对, 我先走了
I'd like to spend more time together. All of us. Take you out for ice cream. How's that?
我想多聚一聚, 全家一起 请你去吃冰激凌, 好不好?
I know your mother won't come but you,Samantha,Grandpa,Grandma.
我知道你妈不会去 但你, 珊, 爷爷, 奶奶
That'd be nice,huh?
这样多好
I knew something was funny with you today.
我就觉得今天不对劲
Papa,take a seat. Let me get you a water,okay?
爸爸, 坐下我给你倒杯水
What are we sitting for?
我们为啥要坐下?
-Here you go,Pop,drink this. -All right. Drink some water.
- 给你, 爸, 喝一点 - 好嘞, 我喝
There, I had my water. What's going on?
好了, 我喝了 到底怎么了?
Grandpa died,Dad.
爷爷去世了, 爸
He died a while back now.
有段时间了
No,no,no. Don't say that. Where was I?
不, 不, 不... 别这么说... 怎么会
You're crying?
你在哭吗?
-What happened? -Nothing.
- 发生了什么事? - 没什么
You know, he just got old. That's life.
你知道, 他老了. 是生命的规律啊
Shit.
狗屁规律
You're born and you live and you die.
人都会生老病死
-Man,I gotta go. -Hey, hang on. Susie,push my next meeting.
- 我得走了 - 等等, 苏茜, 推迟我下个会议
No,no,do your meeting. It's fine.
不不, 去参加会议. 我没事的
I'm just dizzy. I'm dizzy from the operation.
我只是手术后还有点头晕
You're gonna make me cry,Dad. You don't--You don't have to go.
我都想哭了, 你可以留下
You look-- You look good.
你看上去, 你看上去好极了.
It's all right. Goodbye.
好了, 再见
Come on.
拜托
Come on.
拜托.
-It won't take you there. -Take me where?
- 它不会带你去的 - 去哪儿?
-To the moment he died. You weren't there. -Of course I wasn't.
- 他去世的时候, 你当时根本就不在场 - 说得没错
Can you take me to the last time I saw him,please?
能带我去我最后一次见到父亲的时候吗?
Hey, Dad. Sorry to bug you. Would you mind looking at my shopping mall design again?
嘿, 爸爸, 抱歉打扰一下 你能再看看我的商场设计吗?
This one is cheaper. But if you check this out...
这个比较便宜, 但是...
...you'll see it has a much better natural flow-- -Cheaper one, like I said.
- 看看这个, 设计会更合理 - 坚持便宜的那个, 我已经说过了
Now,just let me do my e-mail.
别打扰我写邮件
-Yeah. Yeah,you're right,Dad. -He ain't right. You're a schmuck! Look at it!
- 对, 你说得对, 爸 - 什么对啊? 混蛋, 你看一下啊!
Surprise.
惊喜!
Hey,Grandpa.
嘿, 爷爷
Oh,my God.
哦, 天哪
When did you get so handsome?
你越长越帅了
So,Michael,I had a wonderful idea.
嘿, 迈可, 我有个很棒的提议
Your mother's playing canasta with her friends tonight.
你妈和她朋友今晚打牌 这是个好机会啊...
I thought, " What a great opportunity. " You,me and Ben should go and have a boys' night out.
你, 我还有本一起出去来个单身庆祝
-Can't. -What do you mean you can't?
- 我不行 - 什么叫不行?
You have to eat sometime. We could go,we could whistle at pretty girls.
你总要吃饭吧, 我们可以一起去 对着美女吹口哨
-I'm down for that. -See? He's down. I don't know what it means,but he's down.
- 我也想去荡一下 - 看, 他也想荡, 我不知是啥意思, 但他要荡
-Hey. Please. -Don't give me that finger.
- 嘿, 别吵 - 别对我用那手指头
I'll make you a deal.
来做个交易
If you come I'll show you the quarter trick.
如果你来, 我给你演铜板魔术
Will you look at the man?
你难道就不能看他一眼!
I'll tell you the secret.
还会告诉你其中的奥秘
No,Dad.
不用了, 爸
-Don't you wanna know how I--? -I know how you do the stupid trick. I've always known.
- 你难道不想知道... - 我不要你的什么奥秘, 我早就知道了
Can you let me do my work?
让我工作好不好?
You've always known.
你早就知道了?
You're pathetic.
你这混账
Okay.
好
I'm so sorry I barged in. I love you,son.
我很抱歉打扰你 我爱你, 儿子
See you later,Grandpa,I love you.
回头见, 爷爷, 我爱你
Dad. Pop. Pop.
爸爸, 爸, 爸
I love you,son.
我爱你儿子
I love you,son.
我爱你儿子
I love you,son.
我爱你儿子
I love you too,Dad.
我也爱你, 爸爸
I'll miss you.
我会想你的
You know that.
你知道的
Goodbye.
再见
[西奥多·纽曼 1944-2021]
I'm sorry about your father.
你父亲的死, 我很遗憾
Taking him wasn't something I wanted to do.
带他走并非我的意愿
What do you mean " taking him "?
带他走, 什么意思?
-I'm an angel,Michael. -An angel?
- 我是个天使, 迈可 - 天使?
I thought an angel was supposed to protect people.
我以为天使应该保护我们才对
I'm the angel of death.
我是死亡天使
Your dad,it was his time.
你父亲的时间到了
You bastard.
你这混蛋
All right, leave me alone. Leave me alone. You had your fun. Just take me to a good place.
别过来! 别过来! 你给了我这个! 带我去别的地方!
# 满天星辰, 月儿高挂 人生好事都免费 #
And now,everybody,it's time for Mr. Newman to say a few words.
好了, 各位现在让纽曼先生来说几句
Yay,Michael!
呀, 迈克!
Go get them, Michael! Speech!
上啊, 迈可!
Wedding cake. Wedding cake.
婚礼蛋糕, 婚礼蛋糕
Okay,where's the groom? Show your face.
好了, 新郎在哪儿? 让我看看
Hi,Dad.
嗨, 老爸
Ben. I didn't miss my son's wedding.
本! 我没错过我儿子的婚礼!
Wow, this is terrific,buddy. Who's the lucky lady?
哇, 这太棒了! 谁是这位幸运的新娘?
Very funny, Mr.Newman.
很幽默, 纽曼先生
Aunt Peggy,is that you?
帕蒂阿姨, 是你吗?
God,you got old.
天哪, 你老了
No,no. I-- She-- I'm just playing. She knows that.
不, 不, 不, 我... 开玩笑的 她知道的
Ma.
妈
Ben's wife...welcome to the family.
本的妻子, 欢迎你嫁到我们家
Thank you.
谢谢
Congratulations. Let's have the best night,okay?
恭喜! 大家玩得开心!
Look at you,Ma. You look amazing.
看看你, 妈, 你真有精神
Michael,you haven't kissed me like that since you were a little boy.
迈可, 你好久好久没这样亲过我了
-You are the best,Ma. You know l know that,right? -Oh,darling,that's so sweet.
- 你是最好的妈妈, 你知道的 - 哦, 亲爱的, 嘴真甜
You know, Michael your father would've loved to be here.
你知道, 迈可 你父亲多么想见到这一天啊
I know, Ma. Okay? I'm just glad you're here.
我知道, 好了 你能在这里, 我已经很开心了
Me too,bubbala. Me too. Me too. It's beautiful. Beautiful.
我也是, 很开心 太美了, 一切都太美了
Beautiful. Look at her. Donna,my favorite.
真好, 看看她一直是我最爱的媳妇
You're such a schmuck for letting her go.
失去她太可惜了
But don't let me ruin your evening. I'll talk to you later.
但别让我毁了你的好心情, 等会儿聊
Christina.
克里斯蒂娜
Michael,you've been so generous taking care of all this and the kids' honeymoon.
迈可, 你太慷慨了. 包揽了孩子的婚礼和蜜月
-Absolutely. -Thank you so much.
- 没错 - 太谢谢你了
-Of course. Ben's wife seems like a nice kid,huh? -I think she's wonderful.
- 本好像找了个好老婆 - 我很喜欢她
Definite keeper.
绝对是的
Here's one you might remember from The Cranberries.
接下来是" 红莓合唱团 "的" 逗留 "
Out of all the songs,huh?
我们的老歌
Bill, since it's our son's wedding do you mind if I dance with my ex-husband for a minute?
比尔, 既然是我们儿子的婚礼 你介意我和前夫共舞一曲吗?
-Not at all. -Thank you.
- 当然不会 - 谢谢
-Just have her back by midnight, all right,champ? -You got it,Bill.
- 她午夜前一定要回来的, 好吗? - 没问题
Why does he have a bathing suit on?
红裤衩
Nice Speedo,buddy.
裤衩很有形啊, 老兄
-Still smelling good,huh? -After all these years.
- 还是这么香 - 这么多年了...
-Are you happy? -Of course I'm happy our son just got married.
- 你开心吗? - 我当然开心了, 我们儿子结婚了
Not about that. Are you happy about where our lives ended up?
不是说这个 是关于我沦落到这地步...
Ended.
别说了
-It's not over yet. -That's my Donna. It's true.
- 还不是世界末日 - 这才是我的唐娜
-That Samantha? -Yeah!
- 那是珊? - 是啊
Hey. What are you doing? Put a sweater on. Cover them up.
嘿, 你干什么? 穿件上衣, 把胸盖上!
-What is with you? -I'm...Just kidding, I....
- 又来了? - 不, 我开玩笑的
Just not used to seeing you all grown-up like this.
我... 还不习惯见你这么大了
Okay,well,if that's your way of telling me that I look pretty,then thank you.
如果你是在夸我漂亮, 那谢谢了
-Let's go get some cake. -I'll race you there,Dad. Come on.
- 我们去吃点蛋糕吧 - 跟你比谁快, 老爸.
" Dad "?
老爸?
Michael, are you okay?
迈可, 你怎么了?
Is there a doctor? We need a doctor here!
有医生吗? 这里需要医生!
-Michael! -Dad!
- 迈可! - 老爸!
Dad!
老爸!
It's just corn flakes.
只是麦片而已
One dance, you pop an artery.
瞧瞧你, 跳一支舞而已 你大动脉就废了?
Why'd you make me waste my entire life?
为什么让我浪费了一生?
You were fast-forwarding through your life long before you ever met me.
你早在遇到我之前 就开始浪费生命了
You lived the life you chose,big shot.
这都是你的选择啊 老板
This is not the life I wanted.
这不是我的选择
It is.
但...
[制作, 编剧兼导演: 迈可·纽曼]
Looks like it is.
看起来是这样
Hey. You're up. How you feeling?
嘿, 你醒了 感觉好点了吗?
I feel better now that you guys are here.
你们在, 我就感觉好多了
Samantha's been here like 36 hours straight. She said she wouldn't leave the hospital until you woke up.
珊等了36个小时了 她说不到你醒来决不离开
Why'd you do that?
为什么要这么做?
Because. You're my father.
因为你是我爸爸
I thought Bill was your father.
我以为比尔才是你爸爸
I have two fathers.
我有两个爸爸
One of them told me he was gonna live till he was 200. Remember?
其中一个告诉我他能活200岁 记得吗?
You both really need to get some sleep. And I got a plane to catch.
你们俩都需要休息一下, 我还要赶飞机
Big Ben's gotta go on his honeymoon.
大本本要去度蜜月了
Actually, I just canceled the honeymoon.
其实, 我刚取消了蜜月
Kensington deal might fall through,so I gotta go do damage control.
合同可能要飞了, 我要去善后
-Uh No No. -Julie and I can go to ltaly anytime.
- 不不 - 朱丽和我随时能去意大利
-No. -It's not that big a deal.
- 不! - 没什么大不了的
-That's not fair to your wife. -Dad...she gets it. Keeping the business going is more important.
- 这对你妻子不公平 - 爸, 她能理解, 男人要以事业为重
Guys, I'm sorry. You're gonna have to leave. He needs his rest.
伙计们, 对不起, 你们必须走了
-All right. Bye,Dad. -Ben! Ben! Ben!
- 再见, 爸爸 - 本! 本! 本!
Bye,Daddy.
再见, 爸爸.
Get this off of me.
一定要告诉他
Whoa,whoa!
哇, 哇哦!
-Hey,fella,you're a long way from walking out of here. -I gotta see my son.
- 你还不能出去 - 我要找我儿子
You're not going anywhere. Now,get back into the bed.
你哪儿都去不了, 快回床上
-Isn't that Colin Farrell? -Where?
- 看, 科林·法雷尔（演员） - 哪儿?
Michael. Those machines are keeping you alive.
迈可, 那些仪器, 能维持你活命
I gotta talk to my boy.
我得去告诉我儿子
-Michael,stop. -No.
- 迈可, 站住 - 不要
Michael,it doesn't have to end now.
迈可, 你不用现在死
Ben!
本!
Ben!
本!
Ben!
本!
Ben!
本!
Dad? Dad? Dad,what are you doing?
老爸? 老爸! 你干什么啊?!
Are you okay?
你还好吗?
Oh,my God.
我的天!
Help! Help!
救命! 救命!
-Dad! Dad! -Help!
-老爸! -救命!
Something Ben,Ben.
有件事...
-Family. Family. Family. -What?
- 家... 家... 家... - 什么?
-Family. Family. Family comes first. -Family comes first.
- 家... 家庭为重 - 家庭为重
-Honeymoon. Honeymoon. -Honeymoon. I love you.
- 蜜月! 蜜月! - 蜜月! 好
Samantha. Samantha. I didn't make 200
珊, 珊, 我是活不到200岁了
-But l love you. -I love you.
- 但我爱你 - 我也爱你
Bill,Bill,Bill.
比尔... 比尔... 比尔...
I'm sorry.
我对不起你
Michael. The note you wrote her, it's
迈可, 纸条... 你写给她的
in your pocket.
在你口袋里
[早晨醒来时你还会爱我吗? ]
Forever and ever, babe.
一生一世, 宝贝
It's time to go.
该走了
Where am l?
我在哪儿?
You're in Bed Bath & Beyond,sir.
你在超越牌卧浴市场
I was just watching you sleep. You looked like you were having a crazy dream.
我刚才看你在睡觉 好象做了很疯狂的梦
What?
什么?
You're not supposed to lay in the beds but I do sometimes.
你不该躺在床上 不过我有时候也这么做
I'm back in the store?
我又回店里了?
I'm young again.
我又年轻了!
I'm young again.
我又年轻了!
Well, I mean, you're not "young " young. I'm young. You're kind of on the back nine.
不, 你已经不再年轻了 我才年轻, 你稍微有点老了
No,no. No. I'm just teeing off,baby.
不, 不! 不! 我只是... 你知道, 宝贝
Look at you.
看看你!
-You want a friend? You want a friend? -I'll be your friend,baby.
- 你要做朋友吗? 要做朋友吗? - 是啊
I'll be your friend. I'll be your--
我来做你朋友! 我来做你朋友!
Oh,my God!
哦, 我的老天!
Yes, my crappy car! You mediocre,middle-class piece of shit! l love you!
我的破车! 我爱你!
Pop,Pop. Pop. There he is. There he is.
爸, 你在这里! 你在这里!
-What's wrong? What happened? -Nothing's wrong. Everything's incredible, Ma.
- 发生什么事了? - 没什么, 一切都好, 妈
I just wanted to tell you I love you.
我只想告诉你我好爱你
-I love you. -I love you so much.
- 我也爱你 - 我爱死你了
You gotta tell me how you do the quarter trick,it's driving me crazy.
你一定要告诉我那铜板的奥秘 我快想疯了!
A magician never reveals his secrets. However,if you invite us over for dinner more--
我按理说不能告诉你其中奥秘, 不过你如果多请我们吃晚饭...
You come over tomorrow night, and the night after that. Any time you want.
你们明晚就来, 还有后天 大后天! 想来就来!
-Stop, I'm gonna have a heart attack. -No,I have the heart attacks.
- 别蹦了, 我要发心脏病了! - 不用怕, 我得过心脏病了
Thank you so much for giving birth to me I know it hurt. Okay?
妈, 谢谢你生下我 我知道那很痛苦
You have no idea. But,honey,please stay off the bong pipe.
你不会知道的, 但亲爱的 拜托不要再吃太多甜点了
I can't promise you that.
这我不能保证
Okay. I'm up. What do you think?
好了, 我醒了, 想不想?
If you massage me first.
那你先给我按摩
Okay,let's go to sleep.
算了吧, 我们继续睡吧
Mom,wake up! There's a crazy noise downstairs.
妈, 听到楼下的声音吗?
-What the heck is going on? -Hey,do you mind?
- 你干什么? - 什么? 嘘嘘, 小声点
I am trying to concentrate.
我在工作呢
Here I am,staying up all night trying to come up with activities for our Fourth of July camping trip...
我在这里彻夜未眠 为7月4号的野营活动想破脑袋
...but you won't let me think!
你却不让我集中精神
You want time to think? Why don't you think about the fact that you just wo--
你想集中精神? 为什么不想想你刚把...
What did you just say?
你刚说什么?
Yes,you heard me. If you keep up this weird attitude...
是啊, 你听到了 如果你继续神经兮兮, 要我明年怎么上班?
...I won't be able to work for a year and have to plan 10 more vacations. That make you happy?
如果不能上班, 我还得计划明年的10次度假 你满意了吧?
-Did you eat a bad Yodel? -Give me those big lips.
- 你是不是又甜点吃多了? - 让我亲亲那性感的嘴唇
What's going on down here?
这里怎么了?
Ben. Ben! Come here. Oh,my God. I missed you, I missed you. Look at you,boy.
本! 本! 哦, 天哪 我好想你! 看看你!
I'm gonna finish the tree house. We're gonna sleep in it next weekend.
知道吗, 我会修好小树屋并一起和你在下周末睡在那儿
From now on,we're gonna exercise and I'm not gonna wear a Speedo.
还有, 我会跟你一起锻炼 但我不会穿游泳裤衩
All right! All right. And you.
好了 还有你!
Nice jump! I love you.
跳得好 我爱你
One day,you are gonna be the hottest chick alive. But you still gotta have brains.
有天你会变成最美的姑娘, 但不能因此失去头脑
-So tomorrow I'm gonna teach you calculus. -You know calculus?
- 明天开始我教你微积分 - 你懂微积分?
I knew you'd call me on that. Your mom will teach you.
好吧, 被你看穿了 让妈妈教你吧
Now,get your rest,because tomorrow we're going camping!
现在上楼睡觉 明天我们去野营!
I know! lt's gonna be the best!
会玩得很开心地
-Put a sweater on! Don't take it off! -Okay,Daddy.
- 上衣穿好, 永远不准脱 - 好的, 爸爸
Oh,and Sundance!
阳阳!
Doggie years go by very quick so it's time to enjoy the real thing.
狗的寿命太短 该好好享受真正的爱情了
Yeah,go get some,baby.
是啊, 去抱阳阳!
What are you doing? What are you doing?
你去哪儿? 你要去哪儿?
No. Go to Sundance,not the duck.
不, 抱阳阳! 不是鸭鸭!
They told me at the pet store it was a female. They lied to me,I guess.
啊, 宠物店说是母的 我上当了
-You staying downstairs tonight? -Why? That's getting you going?
- 今晚还要工作吗? - 难道你要吗?
It's Fourth of July
不, 才7月4号
I'm gonna celebrate with my wife. Take my time, massage her...
我要和我老婆庆祝 慢慢来, 给她按摩
make sure she is fully satisfied.
让她满足
-But you know,it isn't the Fourth of July,it's only the second. -Oh. That's even better.
- 今天不是4号, 是2号 - 哦, 那更好
Happy second of July,honey. Yeah?
7月2号快乐
Think l like this holiday. I'm gonna go change into my Pocahontas costume. I'll see you upstairs.
我喜欢这个节日. 我想换那身波卡洪塔斯衣服 楼上见
I'll bring the duck.
我会带上鸭鸭
Okay,I gotta call my dad and tell him to get the old tent ready.
好了, 我得打电话给我爸, 让他准备好那水缸
[迈可]
" Like I said,'Good guys need a break.'
就像我说的 " 好人会受老天眷顾 "
I know you'll do the right thing this time.
我知道你这次会做出正确的选择
Love,Morty.
爱你的, 莫提
P.S.: Your wife's rocking body still drives me crazy. "
注: 你太太火辣的身材仍然让我疯狂
Okay,Morty.
那好吧, 莫提
Hey,who wants to have a pillow fight?
谁要打枕头仗?
谢谢观赏